Thursday, September 09, 2004

churning through sick lullabies

Man, I'm feeling rather whiny tonight. Walter is or isn't leaving tomorrow, depending on whether or not his visa comes. I'm turning 23 v. soon, and that is making me slightly crazy, since I don't want to have a birthday at all. I would prefer to just bury my head in the sand and pretend that it isn't coming. Birthdays just aren't exciting anymore. Mine used to be exciting, until a whole bunch of people died on it, thus ruining every subsequent birthday. And now I'm not turning 21, which signifies the ability to drink, or 22, which signifies the end of college and the beginning of independed adult life, but *23*, which signifies the age at which I used to think I would have it all at least somewhat figured out.

And instead, where am I? Working at a job that I am far too talented for, living in an apartment that is far too hot (okay, that's only this week), sleeping alone every night in my big new bed, and completely unsure about what to do next.

So, go away, birthday, I don't want you!

Now, off to say goodbye to Walter. Sadness.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Seems like hardly anyone ever really figures life out - if you had figured everything out by age 23.. I would probably doubt the strength and the rightness of whatever you had found. I mean, I guess Can has figured out how he and Nora are going to take over the world, and I don't really doubt them. But I don't think there's anyone else.
Anyway. I hope you do have a happy birthday. At the very least, it's the day when you get to hear everyone tell you how much they appreciate your presence in their lives and how awesome they think you are :) So:
I really do appreciate having you in my life as past-RA and current friend, and of course you're absolutely awwwwesome.
~Joanna Turtle