I came to the same disconcerting realization today that I arrive at every three months or so and promptly ignore - I'm turning into my mother. It happens to all girls, I suppose - we adore our fathers, but are destined to become our mothers. Or maybe I'm just extrapolating because that's been my experience. Not that I don't adore my mother as well, and I'm not exactly unhappy with my destiny, but given that I have always prized my independence and valued setting my own course above all things, it's still a little annoying.
I came to recognize my cruel reality when I became aware of the fact that for the second weekend in a row, I have actively avoided making plans to spend time with other people. Not only that, but I've decided to embark on a decorating project. The realization fully dawned on me when I was sitting in my favorite cafe having brunch (at around 1pm - I woke up late, but I call anything on the weekends 'brunch' if it happens before 4pm), and instead of writing in my journal or reading a book like I normally do, I was reading decorating magazines. I was also eating potatoes, which are my mother's staple food. Granted, my potatoes were part of a veggie casserole and covered in black beans, mushrooms, peppers, and cheese, but still.
Anyway, about my decorating project. I'm trying to keep myself sane by setting realistic goals, so that I don't overwhelm myself and stop at the absolute nadir of the project, which is usually what I do. Witness my garden, which has died from thirst...but I had fun while it lasted. I decided that I need to make better use of my existing space, and spruce things up since I will probably be in this apartment for awhile. I wasn't doing a bad job of using my space, but everything felt very cluttered. So today I rearranged my bedroom and the eating area of my kitchen.
Because I haven't been cooking for months, had never bothered to buy kitchen chairs, and so used my kitchen table for storing unread mail and for occasionally cutting chocolate chip chewies, I decided that I was wasting the eating area of my kitchen by using it as a dumping ground. I also had a couple of months' worth of recycling hiding behind the table...which isn't as much as it sounds, given that I usually drink tea and not bottles/cans of stuff when I'm at home, but still. So I cleared out everything, scrubbed the floor, and then moved my desk and filing cabinet into the area. The desk is actually narrower than the widest part of my dining table, so it feels like there's more space. I'm going to get a new desk chair, since my old desk chair is a swivel/wheeled hand-me-down that, while comfortable, takes up too much room and can't be pushed under the desk when not in use. But overall, I'm exceedingly pleased - now I can work in the kitchen, where there is more light, and free up my bedroom for other things.
So the goal of reorganizing the bedroom was that the bed was previously pushed against the wall under the window, which had freed up space for my desk, but wasn't conducive to making the bed, constantly endangered me with the 'night airs' (although night air doesn't cause malaria, contrary to the belief of Laura Ingalls Wilder's parents), and would not have been convenient for my parents if they actually deign to visit me. By moving the desk, I was able to move the bed to the center of the room, putting three feet between the bed and the window, and five feet between the bed and the other wall (my bedroom is 11x14 - I bought a tape measure yesterday and have been using it for everything, so perhaps I'm turning into my father too).
I had debated buying new shelves, but shelves are absurdly expensive, and my Ikea shelves are still serviceable - I just hate them, because they're unfinished pine, and I don't like light wood. Then again, I've had them for almost four years and hated them the whole time, so maybe I should do something about it rather than complaining. I want to paint them, but I don't really want to spend all that time sanding and priming and painting - it would involved painting 14 shelves and 4 side pieces, and that just seems like a ridiculous amount of effort. Then again, it would cost at least $400 to buy the shelves that I want to replace them with, and I'd rather use that money to buy other things. In particular, I really want an armchair for my bedroom, but I need to cut out some paper to mimic the chair and see if it will actually fit. I also want to frame some pictures, get some extra lighting for my bedroom, and maybe get some indoor plants. So clearly I should do the smart thing and spend a weekend painting bookshelves. I just need to budget enough time and not expect it to go well, so that I don't abandon them halfway through - although I guess a set of half-painted bookshelves would fit right in in my garden.
Okay, I've written enough - I should really go to bed! Given how much of a disaster my living room in, since it's storing everything that was in my bedroom before I started messing with things, I'll need to be somewhat productive tomorrow. Goodnight!
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