Saturday, February 21, 2009

swallowed, sorrowed, i'm with everyone and yet not

Today was one of those days that, a couple of years ago, might have lured me into a darkness that could take me a week to recover from. While my insane schedule has its drawbacks, it does prevent me from *thinking* too much, except on my commute, and I find that I am more balanced as a result.

It was just a little harder today to maintain that balance. I went to class, and it was excellent as usual; I got back comments on the story I wrote two weeks ago and the prof thought it was very good. I also got some very nice comments in class about the story that I turned in today, and I'm looking forward to reading the assignment by next week (all about recovery from heroin addiction, yay).

But, as usual, I left feeling like I'm abusing my talents because I want to write blockbuster romances and epic young adult fiction, thereby failing to contribute to the august literary canon. It probably wasn't smart, in that mood, to go shopping, but I needed a bathing suit for my upcoming trip to Hawaii (yay again), so I went to Nordstrom. I ended up buying two, since I intend to do very little but lie on the beach -- but swimsuit shopping is, as far as I know, fairly loathsome for just about any girl in existence, and I happened to be in a dressing room next to some teenage chick for whom it was *not* loathsome; rather, her friends were all squealing about how great she looked, etc., and I indulged in a moment of hatred for my fellow man.

I ended up liking what I bought, and then dithered about where to eat lunch. I wanted to go to Cafe Borrone, but the Saturday afternoon crowd is unbearable, so I ended up having a burrito in Baja Fresh. Then I bought groceries, stopped at Office Depot for a few reams of paper, bought lightbulbs at Home Depot, and drove back to the evil city.

I should have written when I got home, but I wasn't in the mood. Instead, I read THE BRIEF WONDROUS LIFE OF OSCAR WAO, by Junot Diaz, which I received for Christmas and had not yet read. It was quite good, very different from what I usually read, and I was happy to see that despite the fact I took my last Spanish class ten years ago (depressing), I understood most of the Spanish phrases that he tossed rather liberally into the story. I read it straight through, only stopping to make a cup of tea; the burrito at 3pm was enough to tide me over for the rest of the day. I sometimes wonder if I miss out on part of the joy of reading by tending to read books straight through in one go, but I've never found a way to effectively break myself of this habit without just dropping the book altogether. Anyway, if you're looking for a great story set in New Jersey and the Dominican Republic, rife with generational conflict, unrequited love, and references to THE LORD OF THE RINGS, you should check this out. It won the Pulitzer, so clearly someone other than me likes it quite a bit.

Now, though, I think I shall go to bed. I want to get copious quantities of sleep tonight so that I can make serious headway on the book tomorrow. Goodnight!

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