a stranger with your doorkey explaining that i'm just visiting

I'm suddenly exhausted. I thought I was tired at 9pm, but that was just my body conspiring with my brain to convince me to procrastinate some more by going to bed. I recognized their clever tricks and also saw through their lies that I would be able to get up at 5am to finish the stuff I had to get done tonight, and so I powered through and worked until now; but, despite my victory, I suddenly feel like it was a defeat. I did finish the one thing that I absolutely had to get done tonight, even if it took twice as long as I anticipated -- it's performance review season at work, and even though our written reviews are supposed to be briefer than they used to be, I somehow can't accomplish it in less than eight pages. The first three pages are filler, but still. Performance reviews are *not* what I want to be spending all of my creative juices on, but luckily it's only twice a year, and since I genuinely like my team I don't really mind putting in the time. It's just the getting started that is hard, since it, like, requires thought and stuff, and I'm generally not in the mood to think by the time I get home.

Beyond that, the rest of the day was fine, albeit not great. It was just one of those eh days that was perfectly balanced on the neutral; either a good or a bad even would have tipped it, but nothing interesting happened. And it says a lot about me that I consider the days when nothing interesting happens to be the worst days of all; while I don't really wish ill upon myself or my circle of acquaintances, I would much rather live in "interesting times" (with all the curses that implies) than in a state of complete boredom and apathy. Since today was apathy, I'm hoping for a jolt (preferably a good jolt) to break me out of it tomorrow.