Saturday, August 27, 2011

that's nobody's business but the turks

Those of you who have seen my living spaces may have guessed the curse I bear -- I have a severe case of uberorganized perfectionism that is in direct conflict with my equally dominant hoarder genes. If you've never put two and two together, the scales should fall from your eyes when you consider my hundreds of books (hoard) organized alphabetically and lined up precisely an inch from the edge of the shelf (perfectionist), my rapidly multiplying collection of Starbucks mugs from around the world (hoard) tucked neatly into cabinets (perfectionist), my vast array of photos/museum programs/theatre tickets/postcards (hoard) tacked with military precision in straight lines on my bulletin boards (perfectionist), etc. It's no wonder I have an ulcer, since these two genes should never have been combined.

So what do you do if you're a perfectionist hoarder, descended from a perfectionist-hoarder union? You realize that the parental hoard is going to cause mass chaos upon their deaths and decide to organize in advance while everyone is still living and in their right minds. So I started a new project today, which involves photographing everything of any importance in my parents' house and captioning it with where it came from, what its familial significance is, whether it's been promised to anyone, etc. The hoarding tendencies mean that there's a lot to photograph, but my mother's perfectionism means that it's all clean and nicely arranged, with lots of interesting backstories that should be preserved. I took 55 photos today, hitting the highlights of the kitchen and living room, but since I haven't started going through china cabinets, curio cabinets, kitchen cabinets, etc., we're at the tip of the hoard iceberg. But I'd rather do it now than regret it later, since neither my brother nor I would remember the minutiae of which bowl belonged to which great-grandmother, etc.

That wasn't the only thing I did today, of course -- and besides, with my snazzy ipad the entire process is a breeze, since I can photograph something, upload it immediately, and caption it all at once. I didn't write today, although I may read a writing craft book for a bit before I go to bed; I usually take Saturdays off, and this one was no exception. My mother and I visited my grandmother in her new assisted living facility, which is a v. good situation for her even if I'm a little horrified that a health-related institution attached to the county hospital is serving apple-snickers salad (which is pieces of apple, fun-size snickers, and cool whip). I also went with [censored] down to her old house to feed the half-feral cats still lurking in her barn. I'd found her house depressing for years, ever since my granddad died, and so usually avoided going there whenever I could -- but it was much worse today, with most of the important stuff gone and so much detritus (see: hoarder genes) left to deal with. But, the kittens were super cute, and August in Iowa is possibly the most beautiful month of the year, so it was lovely to get out in the sunshine and enjoy the day.

Eventually we had supper (bratwurst and homemade mac and cheese), and then my mother and I laughed at the patently faked fight scenes in an old episode of "I Spy" (starring Bill Cosby in the first lead TV role played by a black man) which was playing on one of the retro broadcast stations that started up in Iowa after TV went digital last year. I fell down a couple of rabbit holes on Wikipedia but eventually pulled myself out, and I may actually go to bed before midnight (shocking, I know). My sister's coming over tomorrow and I'm hoping to get some writing in before that, so we shall see what happens. Goodnight!

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