can't live without your love

I must go to bed immediately; I'm pretty sure I had gluten tonight, I didn't sleep well last night, and I have grand plans to get up at 5:30 and write before work. Yes, I'm crazy. Today was mostly okay, but I'm drowning in day job stuff and also trying to write like mad, so I got up and wrote before work, then worked a bit, then trained with Alyssa, and then slogged brutally until 5:30. Then I met a coworker for an earlyish dinner; she's also a writer, but we know each other because we work in the same general area of the business, and since she was in town for the week we decided to get together.

So that was nice, since I like connecting with other writers and she's quite enjoyable. But I didn't get home until 8:30, and my jetlagged, gluten-filled body needs a break. Goodnight!

now you're just somebody that i used to know

I'm totally exhausted, and I need to go to bed immediately if I'm going to succeed in doing anything tomorrow. Today was a bit brutal since I spent the first half of it on a plane, scrunched into a dreaded middle seat since I'd lost my prime aisle seat in yesterday's flight delay debacle. But I wrote a few pages of Callie and Thorington, so at least there's that. We got to SF without incident, and I grabbed a taxi, came home, immediately went out to eat something for lunch since I had no groceries, and then came home and worked on day job stuff from 12:30 to 7ish. Then I started designing some swag stuff for New Orleans (which I should have done ages ago) until it was time for dinner with Terry. We went to the newish Mexicanish place near us, which was pretty tasty even if I would have potentially preferred something less authentic and more cheesy. But it was good to see Terry on the one night we overlapped between my trip and hers, so that's good.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

or maybe this is stuck up in the air

Soooo...I'm in Minneapolis. This was not the plan. But my flight from Milwaukee to Minneapolis was delayed four hours, which was so long that it ate up all of my originally-absurdly-long layover in Minneapolis, and I missed the SFO flight because it was for once in its life on time. Stupid. So I'm staying in another Crowne Plaza hotel, provided by the lovely folks at Delta, and I must wake up in <7hrs so that I can shower, put on something I've already worn, and go back to the airport to try again. And then I must go home and start working straightaway on day job stuff, which seems cruel and unfair.

But today was a great end to my vacation/writing life/whatever this last week has been, if you don't count the travel issues. I checked out of the hotel and had brunch with the readers I hung out with last night - they're a really fun bunch, and it was cool to see some more of Milwaukee (and discover that they have all you can eat breakfast buffets with custom omelette bars for $12, which is like the price of a mimosa in San Francisco). A couple of them dropped me off at the airport after, where my ridiculous travel odyssey began. But I bought a day pass to the Delta club lounge so that I could write in blissful peace, which worked perfect - I had a glass of wine and wrote six or eight pages of Thorington's story, and I think the last little issue with the plot fell into place. So I'm feeling quite swell about that, even if I have millions of words to write and rewrite before the end.

And now I should go to bed so that I can wake up tomorrow and feel somewhat refreshed (until I put on dirty clothes and have to schlep myself back to the airport). Goodnight!

hey little sister, what have you done

I meant to be in bed two hours ago...and I also meant to write a lot today. Both of those were probably pipe dreams, since I had my event all day today, but a girl can dream. However, the event was super awesome. I had seven people at my table, six of whom had specifically reserved to sit with me and one of whom was so laughably not interested that it made for good fodder for everyone else. And the group was really fun, so the conversation was great. After the luncheon, there was a book signing, and I sold out my books in the first twenty minutes, which was both gratifying and frustrating (gratifying to sell out quickly, frustrating because I probably could have sold another four or five books if B&N had ordered more).

Then, I had intended to hole up and write all night. But the opportunity presented itself to go out for dinner with some of the readers from my table + their friends, which meant I could see more of Milwaukee than this airport hotel, so I jumped at it. We had tasty Mexican food with a ridiculously large margarita, and then went to a pretty cool bar where an irish coffee sounded like a good idea (it's really cold here). The group was super fun, and it's cool to start getting to know people; two of the women were a mother/daughter I had met randomly at RomCon in Denver two years ago, and they were the ones who had recommended that their friends sit at my table. So all the little steps I've been taking to meet people and get my name out there seem to be working, even if it feels horribly mercenary to say that.

But now I'm desperate for sleep; I need to write in the morning before packing and having brunch and going to the airport, so wish me luck. Goodnight!

she's always a woman to me

I'm in Milwaukee at this reader event, after a rather boring day of travel. I woke up early this morning so that I could finish packing and have breakfast with the family before [censored] took me to the airport in Des Moines. So I waved goodbye to my parents at home rather than at the airport; hopefully I'll make it back sometime this summer. [censored] got me to the airport right on time, which was still way too early since it took all of ten minutes to check my bag and get through security (I love the Des Moines airport). So I sat around there, sat around on the plane to Minneapolis (a forty-five minute flight is too short for drink service and also too short to pull out zee laptop). Then I sat in a restaurant in Minneapolis and wrote a page or two of Thorington's book before boarding another short flight to Milwaukee.

When I got here, I had to immediately go into author mode; I ran into some readers as soon as I got into the check-in line at the hotel who informed me that they'd bought tickets for my table, so that was super exciting. I'm still enough of a newbie that things like that totally make my day. But I had to hustle up to my room to freshen up/change before this Q&A thing, which took an hour and a half, and while it was quite entertaining, I was starving by the end of it. So I snuck back to my room and ate a snack, then went back to the bar and forced myself to mingle for an hour. Then I came back to my room, ordered room service, stuffed the gift bags I'm giving out tomorrow, and wrote two more pages of Thorington.

And now I desperately need to sleep if I'm going to be on tomorrow - goodnight!

i play my music in the sun

Alas, tonight is my last night in ye olde Iowa; I leave tomorrow for Milwaukee, where I shall don my writer persona for a Friday evening party and a Saturday luncheon/booksigning. I've had a lovely week at home, even if I didn't write as much as I had hoped to. But it was good to see my parents, and I caught up on sleep and generally relaxed a bit, which should rejuvenate me for the bitter slog ahead.

Now, though, I must sleep if I'm to avoid having to rush around in the morning - goodnight!

collect your things, you're coming with me

Today was mostly uneventful; it rained off and on all day, which felt rather dreary (I suppose I could dress it up and call it 'atmospheric', but dreary is more accurate). But I had breakfast shortly after my parents did, then messed around online, showered, and did a bit of work and took a meeting for the day job. After that, I contemplated Thorington all afternoon and actually wrote three pages that I'm pretty pleased with. I wish it had been thirty, but at least I'm getting back into it. Then I took a brief nap, ate supper with the parents (steak and potatoes, supper of champions), and went to a meeting with my mother. We got home around 9:45, and I was supposed to write for the past two hours, but instead I went down a rabbit hole of royal family photos. Oops.

But hopefully I'll get some writing done tomorrow, in the midst of my other family activities - goodnight!

time makes you bolder

I've been staring at a screen all day - you'd think I was working instead of vacationing. Alas, you'd be right. I didn't do anything for the day job, but I spent the entire day researching stuff for Thorington's book to make sure that the final pieces of the plot make sense logistically and legally. That involved falling down a lot of rabbit holes around marriage licenses, immigration, privateering, the War of 1812, and a whole host of other issues. But I think I'm in good shape, even if I'm frustrated that I had to take so much time to figure this stuff out.

But the day was mostly good; I woke up in time to eat breakfast with my parents, and then I worked mostly without break until three-ish. Then I messed around, worked out outside with my kettlebell (a cat watched me for most of this, which was a bit disconcerting), messed around some more, showered, and had supper with the parents. Then I watched tv/worked from 7:30 until now, and now I must sleep if I have any hope of being productive tomorrow. Goodnight!

when you look into my eyes and you see the crazy gypsy in my soul

I continue to make slow, tortured progress on Thorington's book - not nearly as fast as I would like, nor are the words flowing yet, but I've been drafting things out in my notebook and that seems to be helping. But I got ten hours of sleep last night, and I did some good work this afternoon and evening, so that's all nothing to sneeze at.

But after a full day of staring at my screen and procrastinating on Twitter and writing cryptic notes to myself in my notebook, along with a meeting for the day job and some tasty food (leftover bratwurst for lunch, roast beef and potatoes for supper), I think it's time to sleep and plan to hit it better and harder tomorrow. Staying off social media will be key, and I think I need to take a walk or get some other form of fresh air, but we shall see. Goodnight!

you had to have the white-hot spotlight

Happy Easter! I spent it as I always spend it when I happen to be in Iowa for the holiday - at my Uncle Mark and Aunt Kathy's house for Easter dinner. I rode up with [censored] and enjoyed the limited-time-only nonstop Billy Joel station on satellite radio, which brought back many memories. Then we partook of a veritable feast of ham, green beans, sweet potatoes, and layered lettuce, which was super yummy. [censored], Drewbaby, and I sat at the kids' table, which had a surprisingly high number of references to alcohol given that it was the kids' table. But Aunt B wasn't there to keep us in line, so things got a bit out of hand.

We spent the rest of the afternoon visiting (that's 'conversing' for you cityfolk) on the back porch, where it was eighty degrees with a brisk breeze. Then, [censored] left me to the trauma of riding back with our parents and grandmother. We stopped at Walmart (double trauma) so I could pick up a couple of things I needed (we tried Target, but it was closed), and Gram only asked me when I was leaving about a dozen times, so I guess it was all good. And then I watched an episode of 'The Good Wife' (I really need to binge watch the whole thing), ate some leftovers, came downstairs, wrote in my journal, and am now contemplating bed. I have to call into a work meeting tomorrow, but I'm debating whether to do any more work for them during the day or whether to write like mad. We shall see, we shall see. Goodnight!

memories are films about ghosts

Today was an utterly sloth-filled day. I got quite a bit of sleep, but woke up in time to make my mom prepare a second breakfast (well, she was making bacon for a salad, so I got her to make me some extra, and then I fried two farm-fresh eggs in the bacon grease, which is pretty much the tastiest breakfast ever). Then I messed around upstairs and did nothing before finally rousing myself for the only real activity of the day (a mile-ish walk). I didn't get attacked by a bobcat, so that was promising.

I was going to write this afternoon, but instead I messed around on social media and was generally a totally lazy wench. Then I ate supper (yum), and watched some television with my parents; I boycotted 'Criminal Minds', so we watched some European news broadcast about Moldova on PBS. And now, I'm going to go to bed and hope that two days of sloth have rejuvenated me for a more productive week ahead - goodnight!

you will become an accomplished writer

So says the fortune [censored] passed on to me from a fortune cookie he'd opened at some point - I'm not sure whether passing on a fortune is beneficial or is actually a curse, but we shall see!

Today was long but uneventful; I woke up at four and managed to shower, put on makeup, half-dry my hair, make my bed, and rendezvous with a driver to take me to the airport. I checked my bag at the curb to avoid all lines, and so I had time to have a real breakfast - not particularly welcome at 5:30am, but better than starving to death. Then I spent the plane ride to Minneapolis alternating between dozing and making notes on Thorington's book. In Minneapolis, I killed time, ate lunch, considered Thorington some more, walked all the way across the airport, and daydreamed until the Des Moines flight. I spent that one mostly dozing and trying not to rip the phone away from the person across the aisle from me who played her music so loudly that I could hear it escaping from her earbuds over the sound of my own music. She had been doing that in the terminal for over an hour (when she wasn't talking on the phone), and I had switched seats to get away from her, but unluckily we sat next to each other on the flight to DSM. So I got to practice my deep breathing, which I suppose is a benefit.

My parents and [censored] picked me up at the airport, where we had a brief celebrity spotting (Vilsack, the ag secretary and former Iowa governor - it's funny that I never recognize 'real' celebrities but spotted Vilsack immediately). Then we visited Aunt Becky and Uncle Brian, since we may not see them over Easter - one of their cats protested my presence by sneezing on me repeatedly, which was ironic since I'm more allergic to it than it is to me. We didn't stay particularly long, but it was great to see them, and I'm not even saying that just because Aunt B bought me off by giving me a couple of pieces of Gram's costume jewelry that went out of style forty years ago and that I plan to bring back.

We then proceeded to dinner, where we feasted like kings (or, like we always do when I fly into Des Moines) before making the long drive back to the cradle of my youth. And now that I'm unpacked and decompressed and all that, I should go to bed; I have grand plans to hang out with my family, but I also have grand plans to finish this draft of Thorington while I'm in Iowa, so we'll see how the twain shall meet. Goodnight!

good good

I need to get up in less than six hours to go to Iowa, so no blog tonight - but I'm all packed, so hopefully the morning won't be too awful even though a six-thirty a.m. flight is always rough. Goodnight!

tear me down, tell me i don't need to fear

No time for zee blog tonight - I have to get up at some ungodly hour (5:30am) to drive down to Palo Alto and train with Alyssa at seven because it was the only time I could see her tomorrow because I have meetings straight from nine to five. Woe is me. But I worked from home today, so at least I didn't have to drive to the south bay. And I actually got some stuff done, which is shocking. And I did some of it while getting a pedicure, so that was a good call; I had to write a guest post for some internal newsletter, and that was a task that I could easily do while getting my feet fixed.

But now I must sleep or I'm going to be dead tomorrow - goodnight!

and the world keeps spinning

Today was a long day; I woke up at 6:30 and worked on my book until eight, then had meetings from eight to ten, then drove to Palo Alto and trained with Alyssa. She continues to push her kettlebell clean agenda, which continues to leave me with a big bruise on my left arm, but I'm hopeful that this will stop happening as I get used to it. Then I went to work, showered, and had meetings straight from one to five. All these meetings are slowing my roll, and I have so much to do that I haven't had time to do because I sit in meetings constantly. But tomorrow looks lighter, so I'm hoping I can power through a lot of work so that I'm in better shape for Iowa.

So I worked for an hour after my meetings were done, and then I went to Shedletsky's for dinner. He and Christina were supposed to come up and see me in the city at some point, but their plans had changed and so we rescheduled for their place tonight. It was good to see them, and now I know what I need to get for their wedding (black dress with purple accessories - I'm thinking a fascinator is a must). And now I really must sleep; I think it's fifty/fifty that I'll go into work tomorrow, but the chances are growing worse with each minute I remain awake. Goodnight!

just know that these things will never change for us at all

I must go to bed immediately if I'm to accomplish the impossible dream of getting eight and a half hours to sleep tonight and still being able to write before work. Today was good, albeit odd; it started with an ultrasound to rule out any other abdominal causes for my general stomach woes (verdict: they didn't find anything, which I take to mean that they didn't find anything abnormal and not that they failed to find any organs in my belly). So I left covered in gel and debating what other causes could explain my issues (options: hypochondria, general craziness, stress, exotic parasites, some food intolerance beyond gluten which will require a lot of annoying experimentation). I pondered that question while eating a late breakfast at Joanie's; I should have gone straight to the office, but I hadn't been able to eat or drink anything before the ultrasound and was totally starving, and work wasn't serving food at the time I would have gotten back to campus. And Joanie's took less than 30mins since it was early in the morning, and it was a much-welcomed break.

After that, I went to the office and slogged relentlessly for several hours. After my last meeting of the day, I took thirty minutes to get a latte and sit in the sun, and then I slogged for another hour or two before calling it and driving home. When I got here, I thought about working, but instead I did some laundry, made some chili, and talked to Terry. And now I'm going to sleep and hopefully dream of Thorington - I think I figured out a major plot issue while sitting in the sun with my latte, and I hope that realization survives the cold light of dawn. Goodnight!

the wealthiest lie in graves of dirt

Today was once again filled with a lot of work and not nearly enough words on the page. I did write three or four pages this morning, which I felt good about, but when I broke for breakfast I had trouble getting back into it. So I took care of some tings online, showered, made myself look pretty, and then drove to the Haight (definitely the city of sin) to have lunch with some romance writers who were in town. One of them is also the photographer who shoots the photos I use for my covers, so I really wanted to see her - but in retrospect it was a couple of hours that I could ill afford to take out of my day. But we had a lovely time, so I'll have to forgive myself for being social instead of productive.

So I got home at 3:45 (after stopping at Philz to get a restorative mint mojito iced coffee) and called my parents. By the time I was off the phone, it was after five. I thought of writing again but instead took a nap. Then I decided to work on promo stuff, which is what I spent the rest of the evening on; I need to order swag immediately if I'm going to have anything for this thing I'm going to in Milwaukee or for RT, but swag must be designed before it can be ordered. But the rest of it is going to have to wait for another day; I should have gone to bed an hour ago anyway. Goodnight!

i seen it all the time on forty-second street

I worked a full day today; in fact, it was pretty much a straight nine to six, albeit for a job other than the one that pays me a regular salary. I woke up around 7:45, laid in bed for awhile, and eventually got ready in time to drive over to the Inner Sunset to meet a friend for a writing date. The friend's name is Amber, and she's quite interesting - she writes paranormal romance and is also an Episcopal priest. So we caught up on life and wrote for a couple of hours, which was awesome. Then I came home and worked the rest of the day, although it was all on administrative tasks rather than getting more words out for Thorington. I'm trying to figure out what I need to buy/make/acquire for my upcoming conferences, so I spent some quality time shopping for swag. I also bought an airline ticket for NYC in June, wrote the checks for all the taxes I have to pay (boo), dealt with some emails, etc., etc. None of it was particularly exciting, but it has all been hanging over me, so I'm glad I"m in a better place with it.

But by 5:30 I was ready to knock off, so I left my hermitville and met up with Lauren (aka Subz) for a drink. This, as per usual, turned into two drinks and a lot of discussion of our lives, so that was lovely (or at least authentic, even during the times when the topics weren't lovely). Then Nathan showed up and the three of us ended up having an impromptu dinner at an Italian place down the street that they go to all the time; Italian usually doesn't work well for me, but it turns out they have a gluten free pasta that's really quite delicious, so I had that with a tasty spicy lamb and tomato sauce, and it was all delightful.

But now I must sleep, since I have to write tomorrow and also need to order some more swag and see some friends and generally try not to freak out over all the stuff I need to do. Goodnight!

it was too cold to cry when i woke up alone

I had both too much screentime and too much champagne today, so it's no wonder my eyes are foggy and my head is aching. I worked from home today, which made for an easy commute - perhaps too easy, since I had little incentive to be perfectly productive while sitting at my desk reading royal tour blogs. But I slogged mostly steadily from nine to four, then talked to my dad for half an hour about chickens. Then, I ventured out into what I thought was sunshine (it was really wind and fog) to have a drink with Chandlord. We were going to have wine at Amelie, but Amelie was closed, so we had whisky at the bar next door instead. Then I walked her up Nob Hill, cursing her name with every tortured step. But it was good to see her, so yay to that!

After parting ways, I was going to walk home and write and eat leftover chicken. Instead I met up with Kathia and her sister Parisa, drank champagne, and ate steak. Way better, even if it was much less productive. But now I'm desperate for sleep and even more desperate to write like mad tomorrow - wish me luck. Goodnight!

handprints and footprints on the glass

Today involved far too many hours (3+) in the car, but other than that it was mostly delightful. I was slightly later than usual leaving, and thanks to accidents and fog it took ninety minutes to get to Palo Alto (on 280, which is usually mostly traffic-free). So I was thirty minutes late to my training session with Alyssa, which was super unfortunate. But we got our workout in, and I stayed after to spend some quality time with the treadmill, so that was fine. Then I sped to work, showered, blowdried my bangs so they wouldn't get too funky, and then went to two hours of meetings with wet hair and no makeup (or sans fard, as the French and Michael K like to say). At noon, I slathered on some foundation to make me feel better about my still-red, still-inflamed post-gluten skin, ate some lunch, and slogged through meetings all afternoon.

But I left around 5:20, and spent an hour and forty minutes sitting on the freeway on the way home. When I got here I was already late for dinner, so I put on some more makeup, changed my top, and walked down the street to Sabrosa, which I'd never been to before but proved to be quite delicious. My reason for going was to hang out with Todd, my favorite manager at Des Amis (yes, I've attained the new status of hanging out with Des Amis people outside of Des Amis (I almost said outside of work, since I work there and they work there, albeit in v. different contexts)). He was there with another person from the restaurant and two of her friends, and it was all quite delightful. But now, I must sleep, since the morning is going to come all too soon even if I get to work from home -- goodnight!

world music

I worked from home today, which was lovely because of the lack of commute even if I felt rather slothful. I laid in bed much later than planned rather than getting up and writing, and then I wasn't a perfect paragon of productivity, but I'm trying to get better about celebrating what I have achieved rather than bemoaning what I haven't. Yes, you've heard that before, and yes, I'm going to try again even though it seems to go completely against my protestant work ethic. And at least I'm up to date on the royal visit to New Zealand, so that's a big win.

I wrapped up work for the time being around five and hung out with Terry, who was home earlier than usual. Then I abandoned her and went to Des Amis, where a steak (which was not the healthier chicken salad I'd planned to have) and some time writing in my notebook helped to restore me. Then I came home, painted my nails, and worked on day job stuff for the last hour. And now I must go to sleep and hope that Alyssa's workout tomorrow is lovely and not murderous. Goodnight!

we be all night

I'm trying to get back into this writing thing, but I wasn't totally successful today. However, I was eminently successful at working out with Alyssa; she had me try deadlifting a barbell for the first time (we've been doing lifts with kettlebells but not barbells), and I was able to deadlift 175lbs, which both of us found rather surprising. She'd started with ninety or so and that was totally easy, so she kept increasing the weights to find my max, and 175 is where I was still able to lift it before my grip started to fail me. So she dropped me back to 135 and we did some reps there to work on my form. But being able to lift more than my body weight without doing a significant amount of training first is a testament to my strong peasant stock, I think - my Mayflower ancestor was probably a total pansy, but zee Germans have served me well.

Of course, now my back is sore and I expect that my hands will start bleeding at some point in this deadlifting odyssey, since my hands are really a little too small for any normal adult activities that require gripping things (yes, I realize that sentence could be misconstrued). But the workout was really good, and I went back to work feeling reenergized. Then I spent the afternoon sitting in meetings, which were all fine. And I cleared out around 5:30 with the intention of writing for an hour before dinner, but I mostly just stared at the first few chapters and made minor tweaks.

But I met up with Joann, Tolu and Jane for our semiregular friendship renewal dinner; it's pretty amazing that we've kept it going for so many years, and it's always fun to see them and hear about what's going on with life and work. We ate at Pacific Catch, which just went into the San Antonio Shopping Center - San Antonio used to be a total shithole, but they've put in $2800/month studios and some restaurants and the nicest Starbucks I've ever been too, so it's clear that even Mountain View is getting too pricey for most people. However, dinner was tasty and the company was great, and I don't really mourn the loss of the dilapidated Sears, so I suppose Mountain View will survive.

And now I must sleep, since I have grand plans to write in the morning before work - goodnight!

lights down you up and die

I should have gone to bed thirty minutes ago, but I needed some mindless internet browsing, which was accomplished while lying in bed with a masque on my face and the fan going to ward off the unusually warm San Francisco evening. Today was mostly good; I woke up at 6:30 with the intention of writing, but I didn't really get down to writing until eight since I showered and procrastinated beforehand. But I wrote for an hour before it was time for my first meeting of the day, so that was good. Then I took my meeting, ate some breakfast, and went to the glorious south bay for the rest of the day. I had lunch with Alyssa, since she wanted to discuss my goals somewhere other than the gym. Then I had meetings straight from 12:30 to 5, which was sad.

But I left at five and the drive only took an hour, so that was perfect - and it meant that I could write for an hour at a coffeeshop before going to dinner. Thus feeling accomplished, I picked up a prescription, put gas in my car, and made it to Presidio Social Club in time for dinner with Lauren and Terry (aka Subz and Terry). It was great to catch up with both of them, and my steak was particularly restorative, so that was all good.

And now I must sleep; I was going to try to write again tomorrow morning, but on second thought I think I'll sleep eight hours and do my writing between work and dinner tomorrow night. Goodnight!

say no more, get on the floor

I'm tempted to stay up and work for another two or three hours, but that's the devil whispering in my ear, so I'm going to go to bed instead. Today was lovely and mostly productive; I woke up early, feeling slightly like death (thanks for nothing, whisky sours), and took care of some tings online before putting on some clothes and going to eat some v. restorative huevos rancheros. Then I went to Beacon to meet up with Kathia. I got in two solid hours of writing and think I had a breakthrough (thanks to five minutes of talking to Kathia), so that was perfect. Then we walked home together while enjoying the abundant sunshine. When I got here, I cleaned my room (which mostly meant folding and hanging a ton of clothes), ate a snack, and called my parents. Then I worked on stuff for an hour or two; I had some day job stuff that I had to do tonight, so that was a bummer, but I'm done now.

By seven I really just wanted to curl into bed with a book (or keep working, who am I kidding), but instead I stuck to my plan and had family dinner with Katrina, Adit, and Priyanka. We went out for Chinese and I had perhaps the blandest thing ever; I'm trying to be better about avoiding known sources of gluten, which means soy sauce, which means just about all Chinese is suspect at best. So I had steamed chicken and vegetables, which was just sad. But the company was entertaining, as per usual. And now I must sleep so that I can write and slog (and write and slog some more) tomorrow - goodnight!

all your perfect imperfections

So I kind of, sort of, almost took today off. This was pretty necessary, given that I seem to have developed an allergy to looking at a screen; the two times that I spent more than 30mins on my laptop today made me feel incredibly exhausted, but I'm hoping that that reaction is temporary. I woke up at 6:15 and decided to start working because I'm an idiot, but after an hour of doing rote bookkeeping work, I was tired enough to go back to bed for awhile. Then I got up, put on some clothes, ate some leftover steak while talking to Terry, and went downtown to have coffee with Heather (aka dear respected madam) before she got a facial and hair cut at my salon (yes, I convinced her to start going there, and they should probably pay me for it because she spends just as much on overpriced beauty products as I do). I hadn't seen her in six weeks, which is pretty much criminal, and so while we caught up on the basics, I'm hoping we can get together again soon so we can move beyond my jury duty/endoscopy and her work/life issues.

After she went to keep her beauty appointments, I had originally planned to be a good little Puritan and buy groceries before working all afternoon (although I suppose a good little Puritan would have spent the day curing maize in lye to make hominy, so I shouldn't act so saintly). Instead, I decided to fuck work and go shopping. This proved to be a relaxing, albeit financially imprudent, decision. I hit Nordstrom pretty hard, scoring an awesome top + sweater, a couple of dresses, a pair of jeans, and two pairs of shoes. I also bought a new watch, which was completely unnecessary and yet totally necessary.

But all things must end, even the glorious feeling of complete freedom. So I left the mall and met up with Kathia to write for an hour, which resulted in me writing three pages and then deleting two of them. Stupid. Also, writing (or the caffeine I ingested with it) gave me a massive headache and totally killed my post-acquisition buzz. So I came home, showered, dried my hair, put on my new top (yay), and dragged Terry out to hang out with John, Jess, Adit, and Priyanka.

The group was just the same as always, which only surprised the people who think that individuals are capable of change (that would not be me, obvi, given that I tend to think most people's natures are set in stone). Terry and I went to John and Jess's first, where we drank whisky sours while I tried to negotiate a dinner settlement that met our desire to eat promptly and also met Adit/Priyanka's desire to eat fashionably (note: we won). Then we had a lovely dinner, followed by an inexplicable couple of drinks at the 500 Club. And now I must sleep; while today's day off was fantastic, I can't take tomorrow off or I deserve to be strung up by the thumbs and horsewhipped. Goodnight!

lately i been i been losing sleep

I worked from home today, which was v. welcome since it meant I could sleep until 7:30, but it was still a long and brutal slog. But I got through a lot of stuff (although there are a couple of things I have to do this weekend), and I am happy about the stuff that I got through, so that's all good. And I shut my laptop with a definitive slam around five p.m., made myself a mojito, and enjoyed it in the bathtub (yes, I ran a bath; no, I didn't sit fully-clothed in the bathtub with a glass of rum, as tempting as that sounds). I was determined to relax tonight, which was pretty much forced on me anyway since I'm too tired to think of anything Thorington-related (or much of anything else, for that matter).

After my bath, I made myself some delicious eggs to go with last night's leftover steak, and I enjoyed it while talking to Terry. Then I came upstairs, painted my nails, played on my phone, and started reading THE DISCOVERY OF FRANCE, which is a fascinating bit of nonfiction - it's all about rural France from Louis XIV to World War I, and how crazy and unmapped and desolate and populated the various areas were. I'm only a couple of chapters in, but so far so good, and clearly this is exactly how any hip, hot thirty-something should spend Friday night in the metropolis.

And on that note, I'm going to find out more about what those peasants were up to in the 1600s, and then I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight!

we're gonna rattle this ghost town

I am attempting to embrace a calmer, less angry state - or, as I told someone at work, I'm getting off of the 'rage plane' that I had gotten onto last week, when I had transcended anger and entered some entirely different state of being that was mostly pure rage. Part of this is an attempt to remember all of the things I've learned and self-awareness I've gained over the last decade; part is sheer exhaustion with the idea of being enraged; and part is some sort of smug satisfaction over being the first person in my general vicinity at work to get out of the rage plane. Yes, that's not a very healthy or charitable response. But I'll take what I can get; I am much more productive and generally better able to help others and move things forward for my own nefarious ends when I'm not enraged, so that's an admirable goal.

sssanyway, I went to Palo Alto this morning and trained with Alyssa, but our workout wasn't particularly intense because I was so sore from Tuesday and generally unable to recover that she took it easy on me. Then I went to work, took a meeting, showered (you can see that those were in a rather unfortunate order, so it's good that Alyssa went easy on me so that I didn't end up stinky), worked, had lunch (fish tacos, sans taco), and had meetings until fiveish. Then I did a bit of work, left at six, and somehow managed to keep from stabbing myself in the eyeball during the ninety minutes it took to get home. When I got here, I should have either gone to Jess's musical recital or gone out for drinks with someone I recently befriended, but I was thirty minutes late already for the musical thing and the new friend socializing didn't seem soothing enough for my exhausted state (being calm and holier-than-thou takes soooo much energy). So I had dinner with Terry instead, which involved steak and wine (can you guess where we went?). And now I must sleep; I'm working from home tomorrow so that I can get a lot of stuff done and also end at four p.m. so that I can write. Goodnight!

disinfect the scene

I had a v. long, v. productive day. I laid around for far longer than I intended this morning, since my brain simply wasn't having the idea of getting up and writing. But I finally got up, showered, ate some toast, and caught a shuttle to work, and I took my personal laptop with me so I could write on the bus since I wasn't able to write at home. Thus feeling somewhat productive with the story, I got to campus and slogged brutally the rest of the day, in between bouts of walking between buildings lugging two laptops in my backpack. Luckily, one of my meetings was canceled, and so I was able to get a coffee that likely saved my life.

I peaced out around 5:30, dozed a bit on the shuttle, and spent the last thirty minutes of the ride wrapping stuff up for work. Then I went straight to Nectar, where I wrote five pages over a glass of wine and some burrata. I was eventually discovered by Kathia, whom I hadn't seen in nearly two weeks (shocking and unacceptable), and so we had dinner and caught up at Izzy's. But I was so tired and braindead that I'm afraid I wasn't very good company - yes, woe is me. Then I debated getting a cab, but instead I forced myself to walk the eight blocks home. And now I am desperate for sleep; I have to train with Alyssa tomorrow before doing all of this again, so some kind of sleep recovery is vital. Goodnight!

oh girl you stand by me

Today was another v. long, entirely work-filled day. I woke up at 6:30 and wrote for an hour before my eight a.m. meeting, so at least I snuck in some progress for Thorington. Then I had meetings from eight to ten at home, then sped down to Palo Alto and trained with Alyssa, then grabbed a quick shower, and then had lunch and coffee with John at our place of work. I ate lentils, which is v. unusual for me, but the coffee (New Orleans-style iced coffee with chicory and milk) was to die for. Then I had meetings from two to five, followed by what was supposed to be some work time but instead turned into a two and a half hour powwow with someone I work with (good, but exhausting since I was starving and rapidly decaffeinated). Then I drove home, ate the pizza Terry had ordered while watching some tv with her, and then did some more work for the last half hour.

Tomorrow promises to be more of the same - I'm going to try to get up and write before work, but I have to slog brutally the rest of the day. Boo. Goodnight!