Tuesday, November 01, 2016

i ain't sorry

You know, it's really time for me to get my shit together on this writing thing. And by that I mean that, even though it's been six years since the first time I quit my day job for this (I can't believe that, but I just realized it's true), I somehow keep sabotaging myself in the same ways. The biggest form of sabotage is that I know the following to be true: I write almost exactly a thousand words an hour during my average pace (some days are less, some days are more, but that's where I usually end up). I also know that 2000-2500 words per day feel about right because that's close to a full chapter, and usually I need to take a break and think about where the next chapter's headed before I can write it, so I can't usually keep going beyond that without needing to stop.

And yet despite knowing that my ideal output of 2500 words/day can typically be accomplished in 2-3 hours, I don't happily sit down and do 2-3 hours of work and then move on to one of the literally dozens of things that I would like to do or that would make me happy or that would contribute to other areas of my business - instead, I feel guilty that it's not eight hours of writing, and so procrastinate, and thus throw away my time.

Ugh.

sssanyway. I mention this because I was worried that today was headed where yesterday went (aka nowhere), since I did some stuff from 9:30 to 1:30 but mostly procrastinated and only wrote for 20mins. However, I then went to San Bruno to meet up with Barbara, Anne, and Veronica - and in the 90 minutes I spent writing today, I wrote 2600 words. Granted, it was an easy scene (finishing something with Lucy and her butler, and starting something with Max and his more mysterious sister). So really, 9:30 to 1:30 would have been better spent reading or taking a walk or cooking or sleeping or day drinking or doing anything other than reading the internet and claiming that I'd start writing in five minutes.

I write this here only because I think it's finally time for me to own the fact that the writing part of my job can typically be done in 2-3 hours per day (at least rough draft mode; final draft mode often demands longer hours, but I can edit for a lot longer than I can pull words out of nowhere). And if I own that, then I need to figure out how to maximize the business side of my time, and also make sure I'm doing things that bring me happiness rather than reading every article ever written about the royal family (not that I do that...but I totally do that).

So. That's one part of today. The other part of today is that I had dinner with the Shedletskys - I hadn't seen them since before they went to Japan, and I wanted to hear all about their trip (which sounds like it was fantastic). They're a delightful couple, as per usual, and they're worth driving to San Mateo for (granted, I was already in San Bruno, which makes it a little more palatable). Then I came home, messed around online, hated myself for that, and then cleared my inboxes (shocker!).

And now I'm going to sleep - goodnight!

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