angels of the silences

I had a pretty quiet weekend. Yesterday started off well, and I did some decent writing - but I took a break to go to Dad's shop to inspect various tings with Mom and [censored], which bummed me out a bit. [Censored] is doing all the (literal) heavy lifting on cleaning things out, which makes sense since I don't know what most of it is (and the stuff I do know has very little value, like dad's old grill sitting in the weeds). He had someone come yesterday to consider buying some random stuff related to directional drilling, since only a driller would need those particular items - and that seemed to go well, although the guy blew a tire on the way home and [censored] had to go rescue him since he was pulling one of our trailers when it happened.

So anyway, while [censored] was dealing with selling things, I slipped into a bit of a funk, helped along by a very cloudy day. It's too bad since it was the last cool day for the foreseeable future, but whatever. Then we picked up pizza to take to Mom's, and I got to admire the progress she's made on her gardens, so that was great.

Today was better, oddly, since it involved a funeral. I got up around 6:30 and wrote this morning, which felt great. Then I did some gardening - I desperately needed to do some Florida weaving on my tomatoes and tomatillos since they're already out of control. I accomplished that in due form, and also watered everything since it's insanely hot. By the time I was done I had less than thirty minutes to eat something and shower, but I managed to get ready (almost) on time.

This afternoon, Mom, [censored] and I went to Kirksville for Aunt Judy's visitation. She was my dad's aunt, and she was always a hoot - I really liked her, although I hadn't seen her in years. She has suffered from dementia quite badly and hasn't really been very verbal for a couple of years, so in many ways this is a blessing. But her daughters invited us to the lunch they had before the visitation, so we went down early to see them. Debbie sat with us, which meant we got to catch up somewhat properly, and we got a chance to chat with Denise as well. And we got to eat some delicious cheesecake that they made using Judy's recipe, so that was pretty special.

After lunch, we went to visitation (across the driveway), and then snuck out instead of staying for the funeral. We had to go pick up the aforementioned trailer that the guy had borrowed yesterday to take the things he'd bought, and then since we had access to a trailer, [censored] and I picked up a 10' countertop for my garage project. Then we came home, and I spent the rest of the evening relaxing / journaling / trying not to overheat.

And now it's time to unwind and go to bed - goodnight!

she's a butcher with a smile

I had a v odd day. I got up early enough to write a bit before work, which was great, and then I had to slog in a v focused manner to get some stuff done before meeting with my boss (and Adit) after lunch. That meeting went well, and as soon as I was done, I went to Des Moines on secret business. The secret business was not accomplished as easily as I had anticipated, and it was compounded by needing to do some day job work in a parking lot, but c'est la vie.

As soon as I was done, I went to see Drewbaby and Sammie and Marcella. We hung out at their place while Marcella ate, and then we went downtown to check out the Des Moines art festival. It was surprisingly impressive - I only walked away with a ceramic piece, but there were many other things that I coveted. They apparently get 2500 applications a year and only take 250 artists, and the quality of everything was extremely high.

So it was fun to walk around, and Marcella was v well behaved until finally being over it right at the very end (acceptable). Then we went back to their house and I picked up my car and drove home. 

And now it's past my recent bedtime and I need my beauty sleep - goodnight!

empty nest

I have been slogging the last couple of days, so it's hard to dredge up interesting content for zee blog. It doesn't help that I'm still mildly congested two weeks after getting sick... I'm mostly cleared up, but every once in awhile I get a hacking cough, which is most unwelcome. 

But yesterday I took a break in the late afternoon to go into town and have a margarita with Brenda and Bonita (they are a generation older than me, but still a good time). And today I did some decent writing before work, and I spent some time on my balcony this afternoon, which almost made up for my 6:30-7:30pm work meeting. 

But beyond that I have nothing to report, and much sleep to catch up on - goodnight!

being clever never got me very far

I have reentered the work world, which is unfortunate since I would rather still be in the writing world - especially since I'm finally starting to feel better and could have used a week of non-congestion with which to write. However, I did get up early yesterday and today to write before work - tbd on how that goes tomorrow since I have not gone to bed yet, but we'll see.

So today I woke up early, wrote, showered, and then slogged until after six (with a break somewhere in the afternoon to water my gardens - I shall perhaps be inundated with tomatoes since all my seedlings survived the transplant shock). Then I threw together an easy supper of roasted chicken breasts, roasted potatoes, and roasted cherry tomatoes. [Censored] turned his into a caesar wrap, while I ate mine with copious amounts of storebought tzatziki and hummus, and I believe we were both quite pleased with our choices.

Sadly, I then made the choice to do day job work for the last hour and a half, which will make me feel a little better going into tomorrow, but does not make me particularly joyful tonight. So I'm going to go to bed and hope for a reset in my sleep - goodnight!

debi tirar mas fotos

I made it back to ye olde Iowa yesterday, after a relatively easy morning of travel - while checking my bag took longer than expected, everything else was smooth, and I had time to eat breakfast in the amex lounge and pick up some coffee before boarding. When I got to Des Moines, I wanted to go see Drewbaby's baby, but the fact that I'm still congested + was probably covered in strange plane germs made me think it wasn't a good idea.

So instead I grabbed a quick lunch at a Mediterranean place near the airport, then stocked up on groceries at fareway. When I got home, I unloaded my car, did various tings, and then [censored] and I picked up Mexican and took it out to Mom's to eat. She has made amazing progress on her gardens in the last couple of weeks, so that was fun to see. And then I came home and went to bed early to start recovering from my trip.

Today I was not really in it to win it - it was rainy and cloudy and strangely cold all day, and that affected my mood. But I got my desk set up for writing again, did some writing, did some journaling, read a bit, etc. And I made chili for dinner, which [censored] and I enjoy quite a bit.

But I've been falling asleep on my chaise for the last hour, so I think I should go to bed and hope for the best in terms of productivity tomorrow. Goodnight!

the killer in me is the killer in you

I am in transit to ye olde Iowa, but I won't be fully home until tomorrow. My workshop ended today, which meant I had to get up at six and pack + grab coffee + eat breakfast before the nine am session, all of which was accomplished in due form. It was a v nice end to the week, and while I would have liked another day or two, it will be good to go home and start incorporating some of what I learned. 

After we were done, I had a final lunch with the group, and then I caught a train to New York. Sadly I had to do day job stuff as soon as I got here, including a meeting with my boss (even though I'm on vacation and it's also a corporate holiday) - it was not an emergency, but everyone's various summer holidays is making discussions difficult. 

When I was finally done with work, I grabbed a quick bowl of pasta nearby, then came back to my room, put on a robe, pretended I was going to write, and dozed instead. And now I need to sleep since I need to leave for the airport in eight hours - goodnight!

no time is a good time for goodbye

I had another truly excellent day at this retreat. I got plenty of sleep (although I still have a deficit) and I decided to take some pseudoephedrine to clear out my sinuses, which felt great except for the fact that it makes me thirsty. But I grabbed a v quick breakfast and then had an excellent workshop.

And then I got a massage, which was transformative - my whole left side was tight, and now it feels better lying in bed. Then I chatted with some people, grabbed a v late lunch, did some journaling, and went to a panel on writing the self through various genres, which was extremely illuminating. And then I spent some time telling an ER doc that he should just make a fortune writing erotica, which was v fun. 

I took a too-short break, got ready, and then went to the final reading evening. I read a bit of something I'd been working on, and that was super fun; I think I have now convinced most of my class to move to Iowa and start a cult with me. The other readings were all really good too, and my class seems to have gelled in a way that makes it likely some of us will keep in touch. 

After the evening ended, some of us grabbed ice cream, and now I need to sleep so I can get up super early and pack before the final session. Goodnight!

love you mean it

I had an excellent day all in all - and I got a truly excellent amount of sleep last night, which helped. I'm still congested and snot-filled, and I'm still not 100%, but I didn't let it stop me from enjoying my day.

I got up later than previous days, but early enough to grab breakfast and chat with a couple of writers from my small group for awhile. Then I sat at the cafe and nursed a cold brew while scribbling in my notebook, which was v enjoyable. At some point I decamped to my room to change into shorts since the day warmed up, and then I spent some quality time this afternoon with others from my small group.

We didn't have a workshop scheduled this morning (there were various optional tings instead), but a bunch of us met up to discuss our work independently. There were student readings tonight and more tomorrow night, for which people can sign up for a three-minute slot. Three minutes isn't much time, so some of us met up to read our things to each other to get some practice with timing + feedback on whether it was working. It was really fun to do, and I'm enjoying getting to know some of the people in my group more - and it's too bad that we only have two more class sessions left.

Sadly I had to bail to do another meeting with my boss and Adit, but that only took an hour and I ate a sandwich while we talked, so it could be worse. Then I did some personal work, ate dinner, and dialed into a special session of city council. That meant I missed the first few readings tonight, but I caught several people I wanted to see, and had a glass of wine with a couple of my classmates, so that was great.

And now I need to go to bed - goodnight!

you're too sweet for me

I had an excellent day at my writing workshop - I'm starting to make some friends, and I'm really enjoying my breakout group. I also figured out my nutrition situation - I had a bigger breakfast (clearly their strong suit), bought a sandwich for lunch (meals are included at the dining hall, but I wasn't in the mood for lentils; I had to pay for the sandwich at the cafe, but it was one of the best sandwiches I've had in a long time, so it was #worthit), and then had a reasonably acceptable dinner.

I was, however, quite tired - while my cold is improving, I got less than six hours of sleep last night, and I woke up to do a bit of writing before class at nine, so I was wiped out. So after the workshop ended, I attempted a nap, then grabbed aforementioned sandwich, talked to some people, took care of various tings, and then journaled/napped in the sun. Unfortunately I had to spend two hours on a day job call in the late afternoon, but I ended in time to grab dinner before going to the evening readings. They were all quite good, so that was v enjoyable.

And now I'm going to go to bed and attempt to get eight hours of sleep for the first time in a week - my sleep debt on my oura ring is the highest I've ever seen it, so it's time to prioritize some sleep over anything else. Goodnight!

but i want you to want me too

I had an excellent first day at my retreat, although it started off a bit rough - I did not sleep well last night due to my cold + the fact that my bed creaks whenever I move, and so the morning was painful. But I grabbed breakfast, grabbed cold brew, and then had three hours of class (?), which was a very long and good discussion on place.

After that, I came back to my room and took a quick nap, and then I grabbed lunch. I found an adirondack chair by the pond in which to journal / work on my assigned writing prompt this afternoon, and I did do some writing, but I also did quite a bit of napping in the sun. Then I went to an afternoon panel session, spent some time talking to my mom, relaxed a bit more, and then grabbed dinner. When I was done eating, I went to this evening's readings, which were from four more faculty/staff members, and all of them were excellent and v. inspiring.

Then I came back to my room, though about going to bed, and instead wrote for the last two hours. But now I really do need to sleep if I'm going to get enough rest for tomorrow's workshop. Goodnight!

i'm taking a [amtrak] on the hudson river line

I am feeling slightly better today - my throat isn't quite as bad, so I was able to sleep last night, but my nose is running and my cough is still acting up, which may make for some awkwardness in a bunch of small group writing sessions this week.

But I woke up this morning feeling like some sun might help, so I grabbed a cold brew and sat in Madison Square Park (not to be confused with Madison Square Garden) and journaled while people watching. The city was very quiet this morning, likely because everyone was out late celebrating last night - all the guys at the front desk of my hotel were running on a couple of hours of sleep since they were the 6am shift, but they all claimed it was worth it. It was a v fun week to be in NYC even if I did get sick, and I guess I'm now a Knicks fan until next year.

After I was done journaling, I grabbed an amazing gluten free bagel with salmon and cream cheese from the bagel place in my hotel - and now I'm bitter that I didn't know they had amazing gluten free bagels until today, because I would have had one literally every day if I'd realized. Then I was cutting it close to finish packing, but I trimmed my bangs, showered, packed, and checked out exactly at my checkout time. I left my bags at the front desk and did an hour of personal work, and then I headed to the train station to catch a train to my next adventure.

At the train station I had just enough time to grab a gf chicken caesar wrap to go and drink part of a glass of rosé before boarding. My destination was a retreat center about ninety minutes north of the city, out in the farms and wooded areas of the Hudson River valley. I got here without issue and checked in, and then I unpacked into my little cabin, walked around to get my bearings, took a brief nap, and ate a quick dinner in the cafe.

I'm here for a five day writing workshop that I applied for almost on a whim a few weeks ago. I was looking for something different than my usual writing excursions, and I stumbled across this workshop geared toward writing about place and environment. Since so much of what I'm writing these days has to do with Iowa, which is a v specific place, this seems like it's going to be quite fruitful. Tonight there was an intro session with readings from a few of the faculty members, and I'm pretty excited to get to know them - even if I'm also exhausted, and still sick, and feeling shy in the midst of a bunch of new people. I'm sure that will wane as the week goes on, but tonight I'm indulging my desire to go to bed early so I can recover. Goodnight!

big lights will inspire you

I did not have the day that I intended to have in New York today. That was mostly because I slept very poorly last night and woke up feeling sicker than I did yesterday, which was a real bummer. I'm bound and determined to recover in time for what I have coming up this week, and so sadly I cancelled all of my friend plans so that I could sleep. This meant missing out on seeing both Sara and Terry, which was v unexpected, but hopefully I'll be back in a couple of months. 

So I dozed fitfully through the morning, then had breakfast in the hotel lobby. I also ventured out to run a couple of errands, which mostly meant buying several more types of cold medicine plus some bug spray so that I'm ready for my trip up the Hudson tomorrow. The errand running really wiped me out, and so I came back to the hotel and slept/read various articles on my phone for most of the afternoon. I went around the block to grab some food for an early dinner at four pm, which was well-timed. The restaurant was totally empty, and the cops were already setting up barricades for the various Knicks activities that were expected tonight. My food was tasty and probably would have been even better if I hadn't been sucking on honey-flavored throat lozenges.

But that wiped me out again, so I came back to my room and slept some more. Unfortunately, that means that I'm now pretty much wide awake, but I haven't declined any further today, so hopefully that means that I'll turn a corner. And I ended up watching the end of the Knicks game on my room TV. While I kind of wish that I was out in the city celebrating, it was still cool to be here during the NBA Finals run, even if I'm experiencing it from bed. 

I'm going to attempt to sleep since I need to get up and pack and check out tomorrow morning. Wish me luck with all of that - goodnight!

I like the way you move

I am v unfortunately getting sick - yesterday I had convinced myself that it was the after effects of karaoke, but overnight it became apparent that it was just my immune system in total rebellion.

So I slept fitfully last night, and then got up in time to drop my laundry at a place down the street with same day service (and willing to wash and fold nine pounds of laundry for the cost of one dress with the hotel laundry service). I also bought cough drops, although perhaps I should have stood in line for Sudafed.

I would have been tempted to stay back today, but I left my laptop in the office last night, so I had to go in. I had too many meetings, but they were all uneventful. And then I came back to my hotel, picked up my laundry, and spent two hours taking with Avichal, Curtis, and Aditya. This took it out of me, and I was going to just grab food at the hotel bar, but the live music was too loud, so I went to pecora bianca and had a v tasty gf pasta with vodka sauce. 

And now I'm going to try to sleep a million hours to promote recovery - goodnight!

I know you're trying to forget

I had a reasonably good day despite feeling much better than I deserved and much worse that I wanted to. I didn't get much sleep and I felt it all day...but the work I did do was good. And I had a v delightful extended dinner and drinks with Maya at Thai Diner - the line was ridiculous, but it was v nice to catch up. 

But now I need to sleep immediately - goodnight!

I scream at the top of my lungs what's going on

I accidentally had an Adit kind of night tonight. I was at the office a little after 8am and worked v diligently all day, until our team dinner at an Italian restaurant at 6. There were twelve of us at dinner, which was great. Then we whittled to 8 before going to a bar, where we hung out until they closed at midnight (and watched the Knicks win at the last second on Adit's phone, which we shared with the bartenders, and then we got comped more shots).

Then we whittled to the final 5, and went to karaoke, where we sang in a private room for two hours, which means it's now 2:30am and I vaguely want to die. But even though the city is still buzzing (thanks to the Knicks), I'm safely ensconced in my hotel and am going to try to power through enough sleep to get me through tomorrow. Goodnight!

I dream of love as time runs through my hands

I had an excellent day in NYC, and I need to go to bed immediately if I'm going to trust similar feats tomorrow. I woke up early (after exactly the right amount of sleep... so far after two nights in NYC my official sleep deficit is zero and my heart rate is still low, so I'm doing something right), and I swung by Starbucks before getting to the office at 8:15 and slogging v diligently for an hour.

Then I escaped the office for a brief interlude to have breakfast at Friend of a Farmer with a podcaster who I've connected with through various writing and Stanford channels. I am not likely to make a podcast (although I'm always tempted) and she is not likely to work in tech, but we have many other things in common, so it was a v fun meetup. And breakfast was great, so I went back to the office in fine form. 

Unfortunately I then had meetings for many many hours. I also ordered an açai bowl for lunch, which I have literally never done and will probably never do again, but in this moment (still full from breakfast), some cold açai with fruit and coconut and almond butter actually hit the spot. I ate it while participating in various convos about various tings, and somehow I survived until leaving the office at 6:15.

Then I came back to my hotel (with some window shopping along the way), relaxed in a way that came dangerously close to turning into a nap, and then frantically got ready when I realized that I was about to be late for dinner. This would have been particularly embarrassing since dinner was less than a block away. But I got there just in time to meet up with Emily. We had dinner at Lola's, which was an absolute delight. Emily's company is always a delight, but the food was astonishingly good. We had a tuna sashimi dish that was excellent, some gumbo grilled oysters that were extremely delicious, and a beef and barley tartare that was out of this world good. Of course, barley has gluten in it, which means I may pay for this decision, but the tartare is probably the best thing that we had, so #noregrets.

The main course was a surprisingly interesting and good Carolina rice grit cake, which I can't really explain, so you'll have to trust me. We also had a short rib that was a delight as well. And we had two hours of excellent conversation, which was long overdue. It was great to get a chance to catch up outside of the office, and hopefully we'll have more fun in the next few days.

Then I came back to my hotel, and now it's time for bed. Goodnight!

space ghost coast to coast

I got a glorious 8.5 hours of sleep last night, and while I woke up to a slightly sore leg (thanks to a bed that's not exactly to my ergonomic tastes), I felt very much rejuvenated. Since I had gone to bed so early last night, that meant that I was able to get going this morning early enough to grab a benti cold brew to fuel my walk to the office. I was in the office by 8:30, and I had quite a fun day. It's always great to hang out with co-workers in person, and my meetings were an appropriate blend of productive and entertaining. I also got to have sushi for lunch, as well as another coffee at some point in the afternoon, so I felt pretty well fueled for the day.

After work, we had a finance and friends happy hour, which meant that the finance team went out with a variety of other folks. There were nine of us in total, and Adit happens to be in town for the week as well, so we had quite a delightful happy hour/early dinner. My dinner was perhaps too early since I'm feeling a little bit hungry right now, but since my only options are $8 M&Ms from the mini bar or braving the real bar downstairs during the Knicks game, I think I'll refrain.

Happy hour was relatively sedate, though. I had one cocktail and a burger, which was just the right amount to have fun without going overboard. Then I walked back to my hotel with a couple of coworkers since we were all headed to the same general vicinity. The blocks near me are closed due to the Knicks game, but I was able to get to my hotel with no issue.

I should have done some work tonight, but I was feeling a little bit too wiped out. So I mostly caught up on the news on my phone, went on a fruitless search through the hotel for ice, and then handwrote my to-do list since I was feeling a little bit scattered. And now I need to go to bed since I have many plans tomorrow - goodnight!

I wanna see you in another light

I'm completely exhausted, so I may go to bed by 10 / 9 central, which is unheard of. Yesterday was excellent, but I did far more than I usually do on a Saturday - I was prepping to fly to NYC today and so felt compelled to do all the things.

This mostly meant gardening, although I did run some errands and do some basic tidying around the house. I had finally hardened off various seedlings enough that I didn't think I would kill them (although I'm planting two weeks later than planned, so we'll see what they do). Also, a rascally rabbit or some other non-apex predator had wrought havoc in my raised beds, killing two of my four tomatillos outright and also damaging my eggplant. Luckily I still had two more tomatillos on deck (literally, since I was storing them on my deck), but still. 

So I planted many things in grow bags, and we will see how they do. [Censored] also came up with a plan to fence the garden, which was exciting. And I did some Florida weave to support the tomatoes, tomatillos, and eggplants that still survive, so hopefully things get better (until some new pest arrives).

That took basically all day though, which was perhaps ill advised since I had to wake up at 5:15 this morning to go to the airport. I took a break last night to pick up Mexican so that [censored] and I could eat with Mom. Sadly I was too busy to hang out very long, since I hadn't started packing - and I forgot a couple of things that I basically never forget, so that's a sign that I was a little too last minute on this. But I got five hours of sleep and made it to the airport in time to have breakfast, so it could have been worse.

My flight was uneventful, and while my Uber failed to get me the last couple of blacks due to a parade, everything was otherwise smooth. This may be my favorite hotel that I've stayed in in NYC (pending how I sleep tonight) - the rooms are small and the bathroom is laughable, but the bed seems nice and the lobby bar is great. My room wasn't ready, so I journaled while eating a Caesar salad and having a glass of rosé.

My room was ready just in time for me to drop stuff off and switch shoes, and then I walked down the street to get my nails done. Then I came back, unpacked, thought about going to bed, was too hungry to go to bed, and so went to La Pecora Bianca for tasty gf pasta. 

And now I must sleep immediately despite the hour - goodnight!

have you had enough wine

I had a surprisingly productive day - probably because I didn't shower and instead started puttering around the house and taking care of various tasks. Then I sat on my balcony and worked for several hours. I am v fortunate that I work somewhere where I can dial into a meeting with my camera off...or with my camera on, thus revealing that I'm wearing sunglasses, which conveniently cover up my lack of makeup. 

So I worked outside until after one, and then I finally ate lunch, showered, and got back to it. My meetings were all good, and I ended with a call with Natalie (an old coworker), which was quite nice. 

Then I was supposed to water plants in town, but Mom and I took a chance on delaying since it looked like it would rain tonight - which was the right call since it seems to be pouring now. So I started rice in the rice cooker, did some tasks, and then made salmon teriyaki for me and [censored]. I hadn't made it in ages, so it was nice to have it again. 

And then I mostly procrastinated until now, but I'm going to go to bed and hopefully hit it early tomorrow. Goodnight!

the city's gonna love you and leave you alone

I have had a fairly boring couple of days, which is why I have not been blogging - it's all work meetings and household tasks and watering plants (my own and the town's), with some attempts at journaling and writing sprinkled in. It's finally warm enough that I can consistently work on my balcony - although that just reminds me that I want to do several big outdoor projects involving my balcony and deck and maybe a fence and also the gazebo, and potentially a fire pit too. So sitting outside isn't as relaxing as it could be, but it's better than being inside. 

However, I have nothing else to report and a million things I want to do tomorrow, so it's time for bed - goodnight!

i'm on fire, but i'm trying not to show it

I had my usual Monday - got up fairly early, tried to write (with limited success), started working, ended up taking a meeting in my pajamas, and then got ready so I could slog through meetings the rest of the day. I did run into town quickly to grab milk for tonight's dinner, so at least there was that. But it was too hot to work on my balcony, and various neighbors were burning various tings, so I decided to stay inside and attempt to focus.

By 5ish I was done, and then Mom picked me up so that we could water the planters downtown. When I got home, I inspected my plants (rabbits are attempting to eat them before they can produce anything tastier than leaves), took a break, and then made dinner. [Censored] was home tonight, unusually for a Monday, and I had picked up some swiss chard in Des Moines on Friday, so I made this rigatoni with sausage and chard and lemon zest that I occasionally make when the stars align. It's quite delicious, and it's not that much more effort than any other pasta dish - but since it requires chard, and I can't get chard within 75 miles of here, it's a rare treat.

So we ate pasta, and then I cleaned up, came upstairs with the intention of getting something done, and instead procrastinated completely. And now it's time for bed so that I can reset tomorrow - goodnight!