always on trial for the thoughts in my head

I'm exhausted and so full that my body wants to run away and never eat again, but I had a good day during this weird 'celebrate Heather's birthday without Heather' weekend. Luckily, Heather did join us after lunch today, but Salim stayed home to recover. Unluckily, she missed the only good weather day of the trip, since it will likely rain all day tomorrow. But I'm really glad she made it here and that we'll get to celebrate her birthday tomorrow (actually, today, given how late it is).

I relaxed this morning, drank some coffee, and made some quick and uninteresting scrambled eggs for me and Michelle to keep us from dying while waiting for lunch. Then, the seven of us who were here last night went to the Tillamook Creamery visitors' center - we got to see the production line for cheddar, where they make massive quantities of cheddar 24/7. The self-guided tour was really cool, even if it did feel like we were in a zoo where the animals were humans + 40lb blocks of cheese.

However, we mostly went to eat - we had lunch at their cafe, and I had a cheeseburger with a side of fried cheese curds. I should not have had this because a) gluten and b) difficulty stopping eating until they're all gone, and in this case the basket was particularly large. But lunch was delicious, even if I was so full that I willingly skipped the ice cream that everyone else got.

Then we came home, said hi to Heather (aka dear respected madam), and I took a nap. I did go for a quick beach walk sometime this afternoon - it's all unbelievably picturesque. Eventually we all went to Tillamook for a birthday dinner reservation at a Mexican place - it was tasty, and I enjoyed the convo at my side of the table.

Then, after driving home and losing some Cards Against Humanity, I nursed some wine while talking to people for awhile....but now I'm feeling a v. strong urge to sleep. Goodnight!

golden teeth, crooked track

I spent the day doing more stuff around the house, but really I spent the day listening to several videos from the Vegas conference and then going down a rabbit hole with other videos from one of the conference speakers. The speaker is a certified Clifton Strengths coach (formerly StrengthFinder) and has built a community of writing coaches...and she has made a bunch of 45-60min videos discussing each of the 34 Clifton strengths in detail from the perspective of how those strengths impact / influence a writer's craft and career.

I took the test way back in the day, and I've come back to the results a few times - mostly because literally all of my top five strengths are in the 'strategic thinking' bucket and I don't have any 'execution' strengths in my top ten, which is probably part of why I don't get things done and would rather just read / talk / brainstorm / daydream all day. The videos were surprisingly super helpful, though - obviously there are a lot of writing benefits to being able to generate a lot of unique ideas and then game out what would happen along a million different paths if an idea came to fruition (my top two strengths are Ideation and Strategy). And my third strength, Context, is a lot about knowing everything about the past to predict the future + people's future behavior, which is spot-on and also ties into why I need to know so much about characters' backstories before I can really write them.

So, I only watched the videos for my top three strengths, but I think I'll go through my top ten and see what they have to say. All in all, it was a v. worthwhile exercise, and I'm looking forward to digging into it some more.

Beyond that, I have v. little to note - construction continued, and Randy is making excellent progress. It was 29 degrees and windy, and is the warmest that it will be in the next ten days, which is unwelcome. I went to my parents' house with a tub full of dirty dishes to run through their dishwasher (partially because I'm lazy, partially because I wanted to disinfect from [censored]'s covid) and chatted with them for awhile. And I decorated my Christmas tree, which sparks a lot of joy - maybe I'll leave it up until February since I put it up so late, but we'll see.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

it seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye

My hands are covered with paint, but luckily the garage walls are also covered with paint, so I think it was a worthy tradeoff. Today was far more manual labor than I like to pack into my Sunday, but there was really no other choice given the many tings that are coming up in my schedule over the next few weeks.

When I woke up this morning, I made some coffee and got ready, and then [censored] and I did some garage prep. Then, we took one of my mattresses to my parents' house (it's been sitting in my garage since I moved, but it's going to replace the mattress in my bedroom at their house). We also drove around the field, which is always fun.

The fun ended when we got back to town - I made some eggs to fortify us, and then we painted. We decided to roll the paint in the garage instead of spraying it due to the intense prep that spraying requires, but rolling has its own issues (namely, it hurts more due to the repetitive motions). But we successfully rolled a coat of stain/odor blocking primer, and then rolled a coat of paint, and it looks really good. It helps that [censored] has scaffolding on wheels, so when I was cutting in the ceiling with a brush, I could do several feet at once, and then [censored] could roll me on the scaffolding to the next location. This felt almost majestic, especially when I had to crouch down to avoid the garage door tracks and so felt like I was being slowly paddled down a jungle stream -- or perhaps the fumes from the primer really got to me.

sssanyway, all of that took 6+ hours, not including a break to let the primer dry. But it looks really good - I have some touching up to do, and then I need to tape up a whole bunch of plastic since we are going to spray the ceiling. But I think the project was #worthit, even though it was painful.

When we were finally done, we picked up Mexican takeout (I had it two days ago, but beggars can't be choosers here, and I am happy to eat that instead of having to cook after spending six hours painting). Then, I relaxed for a bit, and now I should sleep so I can get back into the writing swing of tings tomorrow. Goodnight!

we're cool for the summer

I have successfully arrived in ye olde Iowa, after a long drive on several days of too-little sleep. Today was the same boring haze that Nebraska always is - I stopped for gas and Starbucks in Kearney, and for a snack in Lincoln, and for McDonald's in Clarinda, and it was all extremely boring. I regret that I know this route so well, but it makes it easy to go on autopilot. The only exciting thing was getting stuck behind a trailer with a blade of a giant windmill somewhere in Iowa, which I evaded by cutting across a road I'd never gone down and then cutting back to the main highway. This was really not exciting, but I had to share something with you to keep you coming back for this riveting content.

sssanyway, I got home around five, unloaded all my heat-sensitive stuff, took a twenty minute nap, and went to my parents' house for dinner (which I didn't eat all of, but I saved my cheeseburger for breakfast tomorrow). Then I ran to the grocery store, came home, and talked to the guy who drove my moving truck here - he is parked outside my house and is sleeping in his truck tonight so that they can deliver in the morning. It really is a bit bizarre that this is a viable option, but he seemed much happier than he was yesterday (probably because he got here with no issues, parking is easy alongside my house, and he could get beer and food from the convenience store next door). So, I'm relieved to know that all my stuff is less than 50 feet from me, and I'm looking forward to seeing (most of) it tomorrow.

I spent the rest of the evening putting away the tings I brought in my car, and also figuring out where I'm putting various pieces of furniture tomorrow. And now I must go to bed so that I can get some quality sleep before the unloading begins tomorrow - goodnight!

do you feel the love? (i feel the love)

I'm pretty tired and I have a lot to do tomorrow before I head back to Denver, but I'm happy with what I accomplished today. This mostly meant painting the walls in my pantry - unfortunately, it's a time-consuming task, since the shelves can't be taken out and so I had to cut in around each shelf individually (and paint under the lowest shelf while lying on my stomach). But the color looks awesome and I'm happy with how it turned out. However, it's now even more imperative that I paint the shelves - the whole pantry (and kitchen, and the living room before we painted it) was a rather depressing yellow that may have been the worst color to put in this house, and so the bleak yellow shelves next to my beautiful new walls is especially terrible.

So, painting shelves is a task for tomorrow - but so is getting ready to drive to Denver, so we'll see how that all goes. I listened to some podcasts while painting, and I talked to [censored] a bunch this morning, and then I picked up Mexican takeout and took it to my parents' for dinner. When I got back to my place, I briefly considered doing some more painting, but instead I journaled and then hung out with [censored]. And now, I should sleep so that I can get cracking in the morning - goodnight!

oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart

I'm back in Denver and brutally tired, but I had an excellent long weekend in the city of sin. Friday was particularly delightful - I spent an hour drinking coffee and journaling at Philz, and then I packed up all my stuff, checked out of my first hotel, and left my tings there while I took an uber out to Beach Chalet for lunch with Anne and Veronica. Barbara is out of town and Grace couldn't make it, so we were a smaller group than usual, but I was v. happy to see Anne and Veronica. I am reminded, as always, how much I miss my writer group in SF, even if we usually met at an uninspiring Starbucks in the peninsula instead of having a fancy lunch overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

After we parted ways, I went back to my hotel, grabbed my stuff, and took an uber to the Fairmont, where I checked in for wedding shenanigans. I had just enough time to get ready and put on my outfit before it was time to head out - I shared an uber with Lauren (aka Subz) and Nathan to the Friday evening party, where I met Adit (some people call him the cat), who was my date for the night. I wore the v. fancy lehenga that I bought in Denver last month, and I loved it - it was v. princessy, which is not usually a look I go for when I'm a wedding guest, but it was great.

The first night was dry, which was less than ideal, especially since I had to give a toast. However, Terry's dad snuck in approx 100 airplane-sized bottles of vodka, so I was able to have a vodka and diet coke to get me ready to go. Also, the food was really excellent and the venue was nice, so all in all it was good. My toast was also great, if I do say so myself, so it felt like a rousing evening.

After the Friday event was over, Adit and I went back to the Fairmont and rendezvoused with Chandlord. We were going to go to the Tonga Room, but it was stupidly closed early, so I changed clothes and we ventured into the Tenderloin. Our first drink was not great due to a potential bartending mishap, but then we went to Zombie Village and had a couple of punchbowls while holed up in a booth and talking about Ritu's nephew (our favorite topic of conversation). And when we were done, I took an uber approx five blocks because I didn't feel like walking up Nob Hill at 2am.

The next day, I had room service breakfast (my favorite) and then went downtown to quickly buy a new pair of shoes, since my Friday shoes had created blisters and I didn't have any other options. That errand was easily accomplished, but getting back was a pain - the St Patricks Day parade was happening all along Market, which completely screwed up traffic, and so I ended up walking up Nob Hill with my shoes. This was not what my blistered feet wanted, but I made it back, took a shower, and took a nap. Then, Subz came to my room so we could get ready together - she had arranged some people to do our hair + her makeup, which was super fun. Unfortunately, the wedding was so windy that my updo didn't look as awesome as it did in the first thirty minutes of its life, but it was still great to get some girl time with Lauren.

Then we went to the wedding, which was at Cavallo Point in Sausalito. The vow renewal was outdoors, and since it's San Francisco, that meant it was totally freezing - I was glad I had decided to prioritize comfort over fashion and brough my down puffer, because I needed it. However, the Golden Gate Bridge made for a gorgeous backdrop, and Terry and Haseeb's vows (a vow renewal, since they got married at City Hall as NYC was shutting down two years ago) were beautiful.

The rest of the night was super fun - lovely cocktail hour followed by dinner, then lots more toasts, and then dancing. Eventually we all headed back to SF, and I ended up going out with most of Terry's siblings + Lisa (an old Stanford friend) until whatever bar we went to shut down. And then the time changed as I got back to my hotel, so suddenly it was three a.m. and I was ready to collapse.

Today was smooth, even though I didn't get nearly enough sleep - I got up, ate breakfast, packed, showered, etc. and made it to the airport with just the right amount of time. Getting to Denver was easy (albeit turbulent), and my house is still here, and I had takeout sushi to celebrate being home. And now, I desperately need to sleep - goodnight!

i see a red door and i want to paint it black

Another day, another doomscroll through the apocalypse. I had a quiet day at work, since I had a no meeting Friday on top of a no meeting week, which meant it actually got honored and I didn't have to talk to anyone at all over video today. So, I was able to get some actual work done, although there are still some tings I need to do (which is tough, since I'm driving back to Colorado this weekend).

All in all, it was a v. quiet day, although my dad did stop by and drank some iced tea while admiring my carpet and telling [censored] and me the latest about what he was hearing from Ukraine. One of our friends (whom we call Little Sergey for reasons that now don't matter since we don't keep in touch with the other Sergeys we knew, which is a real shame because Sergey Pickup was a nice name) evacuated from Kiev with his family (and the older daughter's boyfriend, whom they had never met, which probably made for an extra bit of interest on an already-tense car ride), headed for some resort in western Ukraine that his company had rented to evacuate employees to. The friend and the daughter's boyfriend wouldn't be able to leave Ukraine now since men 18-60 aren't allowed to leave in case they need to be mobilized, but at least they aren't in the city. Our other friend (Svetlana) stayed put, but she's an hour south of Kiev; her son just turned eighteen, so they can't leave either. And our friend Vova, whom some of my college friends met during one epic dinner party at my apartment in ~2014, was already out of Ukraine with all of his family except his father and sister, so hopefully they stay safe.

Still, it's all astonishing and upsetting, so I spent more time reading twitter than getting actual work done. Eventually, around six, [censored] and I picked up takeout from the Mexican restaurant in town (which took longer than usual due to an unusual mixup) and went out to our parents' house to eat. We hung out there for awhile while discussing Ukraine, and while [censored] did some clearing of kitchen drains ([censored] is critical to the upkeep of multiple houses other than his own). Then, [censored] and I came back to my place, moved the sectional back into the living room so that we'd have someplace to sit (even though we hate the sectional), and watched a couple of comedy specials and some news.

And now, I really need to sleep - I need to pack up my car tomorrow, but I also need to get a ton of sleep because I haven't slept enough this week and I need to rest up for the road. Goodnight!

why do all the monsters come out at night

I meant to go to bed an hour ago, so I really need to shut down so that I can get up in the morning. Today was excellent (or at least excellently productive) - Aunt Kathy came down from the city purely to help me with house projects, which was incredibly nice of her. So, I was up and at 'em before nine, since I assumed she would arrive relatively early. We spent the morning prepping and painting the closet in [censored]'s bedroom, and then in the afternoon Aunt Kathy painted the living room / front entrance closet while I finished prepping [censored]'s room to get painted tomorrow. All of this was a huge help since I would not have gotten it done by myself - and now I'm ready to paint a room tomorrow, which is exciting.

So, we spent the whole day doing house stuff, which [censored] joined in on a little after lunch. My parents stopped by somewhere in there to inspect progress, which was fun - we all continue to marvel at how terrible the bathrooms are in this house, but right now the stove and the kitchen in general are my nemeses and will need to be replaced before the bathrooms.

Eventually, we were done, and so Aunt Kathy went to my parents' house and [censored] and I picked up Mexican takeout to supply for dinner. We hung out at my parents' house for a couple of hours, which was nice - Dad told a story about a dead cat [not recently; it died in the 1970s, which I guess you had to be there for. And then [censored] and I came back to my house, where we tested out some tings, watched some Olympics, discussed kitchen options, etc.

And now, I'm desperate for some sleep since I'm 100% committed to painting a bedroom tomorrow - goodnight!

model citizen, zero discipline

I just spent the last few hours answering email, which I should really do more often - it's my least favorite work task by far, but if I could make it just a little bit more consistently, I would probably be CEO by now. Instead, I'm not a CEO, and am just curled up on the couch with a blanket and the Olympics. That's probably a better outcome, but the couch could be much nicer if I were a CEO, so idk.

sssanyway. Today was a slog, mostly since I stayed up late last night and then got up early for morning meetings. But I took a break to eat a potato / cheese / pulled pork for lunch, which was absolutely perfect - I just want to eat that all the time. I also took a break because my dad showed up in my driveway, so I talked to him for a bit (and accepted getting a large painting of the round barn pawned off on me - I do actually want it for my house, but it's hard to deny that by dropping the painting off here, my dad avoided having to carry it into his house). Then I walked halfway across town to drop something at the post office - but this is not really that impressive when town is only seven blocks from north to south, so that three blocks was pretty easy (except for the fact that it was cold and windy).

After that, I had one more meeting, and then I made a double batch of chili so that I would have something for supper + something to freeze. Then I watched some Olympics before picking up my laptop and answering email, and now I'm done with screens for the night. Goodnight!

pull it out of park put it in drive

I'm sleepy - I had meetings earlier than usual this morning, and I stayed up for an 11pm version of a meeting that I could have attended tomorrow instead (but I preferred to watch it in my pajamas). Today was good, though - I had some entertaining and bizarre meetings, which are my jam. Then I went to my parents' house, where I gratefully scrounged leftovers for dinner. And then I came back to my house and watched the Olympics before my late meeting - I continue to be astonished and disgusted over the Russian doping issue, and it will be interesting to see what comes of this.

But now, I should really sleep so that I can make it to tomorrow's meetings - goodnight!

off off off with your head

I meant to go to bed an hour ago, but I needed to unwind a bit, so I guess I'm not surprised that I'm still awake and watching Olympics at a quarter to midnight. Today was a little rough - I didn't get enough sleep last night, and then I had to do quite a bit of work this afternoon / evening on something that I need to get done for next week. But I did a bit of writing this morning and I had time to make huevos rancheros, so I'll take it.

Eventually, I took a break to go out to my parents' house for supper (cheeseburgers and french fries and creamed peas, yum). Then I came back into town and worked most of the rest of the night, while also keeping an eye on the Olympics in the background. There are a lot of athletes in their late thirties hanging out in the games, and it was crazy to me that Shaun White's last halfpipe event was today and that I now like him after finding him ridiculous (when he was like twenty) in 2006.

And now, I really should go to bed so I can get everything done that I need to do tomorrow - goodnight!

switch triple cork eighteen hundred

I had a weird day. For the most part, it was because I was in a bad mood, and also tired, which made it hard to focus. I did get some writing done in the morning before work, and I snuck out in the middle of work to buy paint. Paint is still v. hard to come by, but luckily one of the colors I need (for [censored]'s bedroom) uses a darker base, and so Kent had enough paint for that even though he's completely out of the pastel base needed for the colors I would get for the rest of the house.

sssanyway, the rest of my day was sort of fine, sort of annoying. It got better when I left my house and went to my parents', where I hung out for awhile and then made supper. I had a leftover batch of bolognese sauce in my freezer from when I was here in December, so I took that with me and made spaghetti and garlic bread. It was pretty tasty overall, and now I need to make another big batch of sauce so I can freeze it for future evenings.

I came back to my place around 8:30, and happily I didn't get rabies - before I left, there was a massive fight between two big raccoons on our back patio, which was not something you really want to walk into. I spent a bit of time installing my new air fresheners - I deeply judged how many air fresheners the previous owner had and I threw them all away because they gave me a headache, but that made it clear that there's a smell issue that necessitated the air fresheners. [censored] and I are still debating the source, but in the meantime, I got some fancy smart diffusers that can be programmed for when they're on/off, can be used as nightlights, can switch between scents, etc. I'm sure Marvin would be unimpressed by me buying smart air fresheners to make my house smell like Anthropologie (literally - one of the scents I got is the signature scent used in Anthropologie stores), but so far I find it much better than an assorted pack of Glade fresheners competing with each other for dominance.

sssanyway, then I turned on the Olympics and did a couple of hours of work that I should have done this afternoon. And now I need to sleep since I have unusually early meetings tomorrow - goodnight!

guess i gotta go and get famous for doing nothing

First day back at work and I didn't exactly have a case of the Mondays, but I'm definitely suffering from some post-covid exhaustion. Today wasn't all that bad, though - I got some work done, and I enjoyed my coffee, and I had leftover fish chowder for lunch. I met with Alyssa at the end of the day, and she determined that my breath is still way too shallow - I'm not noticing it, but I can't fill my lungs as deeply as I should be able to. So, I'm going to ease into some stretches and breathing exercises this week, and we'll see how that progresses.

After I talked to Alyssa, I was really tired and should have taken a nap, but instead I ran (well, drove) down the street to my favorite cheese shop to get some supplies, since it's supposed to snow tomorrow. Then I came home, ordered Thai takeout, waited for it, and was v. disappointed when the order got canceled right as I was expecting it to arrive. So I ordered different Thai takeout via a different app, and when it finally arrived it was quite tasty.

I had intended to write or do something else moderately productive tonight, but I'm too wiped out - so I put on my pajamas and finished reading CIRCE by Madeline Miller. It was a total delight - I'm a sucker for Greek mythology anyway, and this retelling was excellent (and very much about humanity, even if the main character was a goddess).

And now that I'm done with that, I think it's time for bed - goodnight!

i pretend i scraped them climbing in the trees

I think today was the first day since getting sick that I didn't take a nap. That's not to say that I didn't need one, but I didn't need one as badly as I've needed them on previous days. I also left the house for the second day in a row, which was exciting - but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I spent the morning drinking coffee and lounging in my living room. I also, v. surprisingly, fixed my gas fireplace without electrocuting myself or blowing up my house, so that was really exciting. The fireplace hadn't ignited since last winter, even though the pilot light was clearly going steadily the whole time, but I hadn't had time / inclination to find someone to check it. However, I did some research and discovered that the likeliest culprit was that the connectors in the wall switch were dirty or corroded - the fireplace switch takes such little electricity that any dirt or corrosion can potentially stop it from completing the circuit. So, I pulled the switch out of the wall, cleaned the connectors, replaced the switch - and happily, it worked perfectly. So now I have a fireplace to lounge next to, and that makes everything better.

Eventually, I scrambled to shower / eat so that I could run some errands. I took some stuff back to Nordstrom, but I didn't shop at all, so I was in and out of the mall in record time. Then I went to Room and Board and browsed the whole store - I'm daydreaming about couches, and while nearly any couch would be better than the one Marvin left for me in my house in Iowa, I would like to do better than that very low bar. So I sat on every couch in the store and got a lovely associate to give me some fabric swatches. No decisions yet, and of course everything is backordered, but hopefully I'll get a couch sometime this year.

Then, I drove so far into Aurora that it felt like I was basically in Kansas, found a house in a random residential neighborhood, and bought a lehenga for Terry's wedding. I'd found an Indian dress shop on Google and made an appointment for today - the seller runs it out of her basement, but she has some really lovely stuff. I bought the first thing I tried on because it was perfect (and extremely sparkly - I think the skirt has every sparkle that I didn't get to wear during the pandemic), and she's going to tailor it and get it back to me next weekend.

So, that errand was accomplished quickly, and I was delighted. Then I drove home, with a stop at BookBar to pick up an order that had been waiting for me since the covid beforetimes. And then I spent the rest of the evening talking to my parents, messing around, eating fish chowder, talking to [censored], etc. And now, I want to actually try going to bed at a better hour than the after-midnight times I usually go to bed. Goodnight!

i was taken by the sound of a spirit in need

Today felt very much back to normal - I'm still not physically 100% there, but mentally / emotionally I'm ready to be better. I spent the morning hanging out with my coffee and messing around online, mostly trying to figure out some decor-type stuff for my Iowa house. I also made bacon and eggs, and I did a load of laundry, and I took a nap...so so far, that's mostly a standard quarantine Saturday.

However, I broke out of quarantine in mid-afternoon to meet up with Katie and El Camino for a very extended happy hour. It was a really nice day in Denver, so we were able to hang out on the back patio (with heaters) and have margaritas and two orders of nachos and plenty of time to catch up and discuss life. We were there for almost 3.5hrs, and we still had plenty to discuss, but eventually we decided it would be wise to part ways. It was an excellent first outing for my post-covid life, since I love Katie and I love nachos, so hopefully we'll be able to repeat it again soon.

Then I came home (well, Katie dropped me off), messed around, changed into pajamas, and had a friendship renewal call with Joann, Jen, and Jane. And as soon as that was over, I messed around on my laptop a bit more and dozed off like the recovering invalid that I am. So I think I should probably go to bed - goodnight!

you can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart

Today was another step closer to normal - I'm just the slightest bit congested, and I'm still more tired after doing things than I think I should be, but I'm on the mend. It helped that I was done with meetings by 12:30 today - I still had work to do, but I also ate lunch and took a nap, and that helped. And I was even able to shovel a path from my back door to my garage this morning so that it would melt off and not turn into a massive ice problem, so that was more effort than I've expended on anything other than showering in the last two weeks.

I cut off a little earlier than usual and got a mani/pedi - my nails were dire, and I was deeply in need of getting out of my house. I also got a few groceries, since my fridge is completely empty and I've been living on takeout. Then I came home and talked to Katie for a bit to muster a plan for the weekend. I then, v. ill-advisedly, spent two hours making fish chowder - I hadn't cooked anything more elaborate than heating up some frozen enchiladas or making toast or fried eggs in the last two weeks, but the moment I felt like cooking, I wanted to *cook*. It ended up tasting fantastic and was exactly what I wanted, but it took more chopping / stirring / standing energy than I probably should have put into it. And you know I'm still not quite in it to win it, since I used my coravin to extract half a cup of white wine from a sealed bottle to put in the chowder, rather than opening the bottle and drinking a glass of it to go along with the cooking.

But I was delighted by the chowder and happy to be cooking again, so #noregrets. Then I spent the evening reading CIRCE by Madeline Miller - it's been on all sorts of bestseller / recommended lists for years and sitting on my Kobo for awhile, but I picked it up tonight on a whim. I'm probably two-thirds of the way through and so far I'm really enjoying it - I probably could have kept going until I finished it, but I know that staying up until three is not what I should actually do tonight.

So, on that note, I'm going to go to bed and hope I can use this weekend to sleep off the rest of my ailments. Goodnight!

we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife

I've had a fairly miserable headache all day today, which is apparently an omicron thing (side note: somehow I don't think a tshirt that says "It's an Omicron thing" would sell very well, although it sounds catchy). Luckily, my sore throat is basically gone and my congestion is decreasing, so I feel like I'm on the mend. But the headache is a real aggravation, and I am tired enough that I took an hour nap this morning and took a two-hour nap this afternoon.

This was not, of course, what I wanted to be doing - I wanted to be well enough to pick up a couple of curbside things that have been waiting for me, and maybe cook something. I did shower, and I even shaved my legs, but that took basically all of my motivation for the day. It was snowing lightly most of the afternoon as well, so it was perfect for hanging out on my couch - which is all I did. I made some mac and cheese for lunch (I had other leftovers, but boxed mac and cheese was what I wanted), and I had leftover pizza for dinner, and otherwise I just alternated between napping and watching five episodes of Queer Eye.

So, with that very exciting time behind me, I think I should consider going to bed - goodnight!

now i'm not breaking, the train's just shaking

I'm v. tired, but my living room is fully painted and looks great. [censored] and I got to my house to paint this morning and discovered that the furnace wasn't running properly last night, so it was approximately sixty degrees (and there may be a longer-term problem with my air conditioner that is a problem for Future Sara). That took the wind out of our sails, so we sat on the floor and drank coffee and contemplated. That contemplation led to me running an errand in the morning that I'd intended to save for afternoon - I went to a carpet store to finalize carpet for installation in February. It's basically the only carpet store in the county, which made it easy to decide where to go - and I think I picked something good, but we'll see how it looks when it gets installed.

Then I came home (after a quick stop at city hall (aka a single room on Central Ave) to check on my water bill, which is sent by one of my high school classmates) and got to painting. We decided to go the conservative / high prep route and mask the walls with paper / plastic rather than attempting the fast-but-risky method of using a paint shield, so it took a couple of hours to mask the room (even with [censored]'s fancy scaffolding). Then we took a quick late lunch break at our parents' house before coming back to my place and finally painting the ceiling. This got paint and dust everywhere, but it went about as smoothly as it could have gone, so no regrets there.

After we were done, we sliced through plastic to be able to get to our rooms, and I took a much-needed shower. Then we went to our parents' place for dinner - Mom made delicious beef and gravy over mashed potatoes, which was pretty great. It would have been nice to take the rest of the night off, but instead [censored] and I came back to my house, pulled down all the plastic / masking / tape, put away the dustcloths, vacuumed, and put all the furniture back in place. The paint looks awesome, as far as I can tell at this point - [censored] did a great job taping near the ceiling, and the blueish-white color is perfect. We capped it all off with some episodes of Letterkenny, which was a great way to end the night.

However, I'm v. tired and yet need to contemplate painting tomorrow while also doing a million things to prep for a major winter storm on Saturday + consider going back to Colorado this weekend (although Colorado is not a great place to be either - hopefully all my friends who live between Denver and Boulder are safe, because the fires there today were horrid). Goodnight!

polarized feelings, i don't wear them on my face lately

I am sitting in Veronica's guest room (which is technically not her guest room; it's the extra room in her airbnb, which she's staying in because of renovations) in the bay area, down in the peninsula haunts of my youth. Actually, I didn't haunt San Bruno in my real youth, but I did write in San Bruno in my early thirties, so I'm counting that.

Today was lovely, but v. long and I'm v. tired. We had to leave Tahoe today, which made me sad; happily, I drove back Grace and Anne, whom I adore, and it made for excellent conversation. Traffic was really bad getting out of Tahoe due to multiple places where the road was cut to one lane to allow for ongoing cleanup from the fires - it's really quite astonishing that so many houses and town survived given the intense fire damage along the way. So, it took longer to get back than expected, and we certainly weren't pushing it (we stopped for a late lunch, which was v. needed). I dropped Anne off at her place, then took Grace to Barbara's to pick up her car. Happily, Barbara and her husband showed up at the same time that we did, so I got a tour of Barbara's new house (same location as the old house, but I hadn't seen the new version since it got finished just before the pandemic). I'm super sad that our retreat is over, but I'm looking forward to more fun times with the group in the next few months.

When I was done driving + saying goodbye, I drove to Veronica's. I was supposed to just drop stuff here and then head into SF for dinner, but I called an audible and canceled on dinner - I was cutting it way too close, and was too tired, and really just wanted the comfort of Veronica and sweats and a bottle of chablis. So, Veronica and Adam v. graciously pivoted and included me in their dinner prep - we had snacks and talked while Adam cooked, and Adam made us gins and tonics (followed by the aforementioned chablis), along w/v. tasty rice bowls. And we watched some tv and I had retired to my room by ten, which is exactly what I needed. And, as always, Veronica and Adam are a delight, and I'm delighted that I got to spend extra time with them.

And now, I really need to sleep - tomorrow I'm peregrinating around the south bay and seeing a bunch of people I haven't seen in 2+ years, and I'm both v. excited and also already tired. But it should be a great time. Goodnight!

all my favorite songs are slow and sad

I went back to work today, but it was a bit of a challenge - sitting in a desk chair is not my friend right now, so I mostly took meetings while lounging on my chaise like a Victorian invalid. I also seem to get tired pretty easily, despite getting a full night's sleep last night, so that is going to start getting frustrating soon. But I am recovering, even if it's slower than I would like, and I'm lucky that there is nothing truly physically demanding going on right now.

So, I made some attempts at work, and it was all totally fine, but I slacked off early and talked to Alyssa. Then I did mostly nothing the rest of the evening - I could have done some virtual socializing but my body didn't feel up for it, and so instead I messed around / journaled / ate leftovers / relaxed. And now, I'm contemplating how early is too early to go to bed, and I'm finding that perhaps the answer is that I should go to bed very soon. Goodnight!