working on the night moves

I had a delightful day in Carlsbad (which I continue to call Oceanside because that's where I'm supposed to be on retreat). I slept so much better last night because I had a real bed instead of a crib nest that I'd made out of the top bunk bed, and the sound of the ocean rolling endlessly outside my window is truly gorgeous.

So I awoke this morning in a pretty great mood, but I ruined it a bit by doing an hour of day job stuff (I knew I was going to have to do this one thing, but I really didn't want to). I also made myself a perfect breakfast sandwich with a folded egg and some cheddar. At some point Christie and I took a break to walk to the liquor store for wine, which was a fun errand. And I spent the afternoon mostly outside, writing in the gazebo overlooking the water - I got a few pages, which is better than no pages.

By five-ish the sun was going down, so several of us sat overlooking the water with drinks in hand. Then, Grace, V, Anne and I left to go shopping slightly before dinner - I didn't buy anything, but it's always fun to window shop. The whole group ended up going for dinner at Las Olas, which is only a couple of blocks from our house - Mexican food always makes me happy, and margaritas make me even happier (until they don't, but I refrained from going too deep tonight).

We all hung out until around ten, and it was one of those lovely evenings of meandering, shifting conversations with ever-fluctuating members of the group. Twelve people is almost too many for a retreat, but it's nice to have so many people to have so many great conversations with. But even though they're all great, I was ready for a break tonight - and so I retreated to my room around ten. Anne knocked on my door a few minutes later to find out where I'd put her tshirt (which she had handed me to bring downstairs)...and I realized, much to my embarrassment/hilarity, that I hadn't been paying attention when she gave it to me and I'd put it in the fridge with my leftover. Lol.

And then I spent the last couple of hours reading, and now it's time for bed - goodnight!

help me piece it all together darling

After a surprising turn of events that involved shenanigans and secret ballots, I'm now in a new rental house in Carlsbad, which is approximately ten minutes south of the house in Oceanside. The morning started off not so great - I had gotten about five hours of sleep when the construction site next door went into full production at seven a.m., including a machine that was compacting the sand/dirt so forcefully that our whole house was vibrating (and filled with noise) for over an hour. This was a v. unwelcome development - I'd gotten my top-bunk crib cocoon into slightly better shape with the addition of blankets and I thought I was #inittowinit for the week, but the construction was becoming a real nightmare.

Of course, I didn't say anything, I just tried to doze for a couple of hours. I went upstairs when most people had left for a walk, and I made iced coffee and journaled / daydreamed on the upstairs deck while getting some sun and watching a lone surfer attack the waves. And I probably just would have grinned and bore it the whole week...

...but then opportunity presented itself when Barbara got back from the walk and had talked to the rental company, who offered to move us to a different house. This house is split, so we have to go outside to go between units - but they're on top of each other in the same building, so it's not much of a hardship. I initially didn't want to have to pack stuff up, but I ended up deeply in the #wrexit (writer exit) camp after looking at the floorplans and also thinking that the construction could get worse.

So the twelve of us talked it over, and there was a lot of 'I'm fine with anything', so we ended up doing a secret ballot. It was closer than expected (7 to 5 in favor of #wrexit), but we went with the majority. We stuck around the old house all afternoon (which proved the perils of construction - I think they were on lunch break when we voted, but it was noisy off and on all afternoon), but then executed a fairly quick move of our luggage + the contents of the kitchen around five p.m.

I think it was the right move - the common spaces are smaller, but the rooms are better and no one has a bunk bed. Also, there is no construction, and we are still right on the water. So tonight was fairly relaxing - we ordered pizza, hung out, and several of us ended up in the hot but. Then, Anne, V and I came back to our unit - the slightly shady thing I did was carve us out of the normal "everyone chooses in order" room process and suggest that we take the three rooms in the lower unit since we get up way later than everyone else and are often bothered by the kitchen (which is true). But it was v. nice to hang out with them late-ish into the night, and Jules and Christie joined us as well, so that was super fun.

But now I need to sleep if I have any hope of writing tomorrow - goodnight!

keep your money, i got my own

I had a really lovely day in Oceanside. It started off a little funky because I didn't sleep all that well - I'm on the top bunk, and it feels like I'm sleeping in a crib. But I got up, showered, made some iced coffee, and then wrote in the morning. Then I snuck out of the house and grabbed brunch by myself so that I could keep my head in the story - I had a v. delicious omelette and journaled there, then came back and took a nap.

Then I alternated between writing and doing some research, and overall I got about seven pages, which I will totally take. Smug with my accomplishments, I then spent the evening hanging out - we ordered in burgers and burritos and it was all v. tasty. We also went deep on books, RWA, life, etc. But now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

i keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean

I am no longer in my ridiculous airbnb in Los Feliz; I am instead in a ridiculous vacation rental in Oceanside, which is exactly the same house that we stayed in exactly one year ago this week. The rental overall is certainly nicer than the place I stayed in the last two nights, but I drew one of the worst numbers in our room-selection draw and so have a room with bunk beds. You win some, you lose some; I've had pretty good luck the last couple of retreats, so it's time for some suffering. And the suffering is mitigated by the fact that a) I am not near the kitchen and b) can hear the ocean murmuring its secrets all night, so I'll take it.

Today was really lovely, and it was a great kickoff to the retreat. I woke up, showered, packed, vacated the airbnb, and grabbed some coffee before heading to Santa Monica to rendezvous with Barbara (Colorado Barbara, not California Barbara). Barbara's son lives in Santa Monica, and she took us out for a really delicious brunch so we could meet each other before she hitched a ride with me to Oceanside. My first view of the ocean in Santa Monica was a delight, the weather was perfect, it was great to meet Ian and put a face to Barbara's stories, and overall it was a nice way to start the writing week.

Then Barbara and I drove to Oceanside, which was pretty easy and relatively non-trafficky. We were early, so we sat at Starbucks for a bit before meeting the rest of the group for a late lunch / early dinner. There are twelve of us on this retreat, and eleven of us got in at approximately the same time, so we ate at a delish Italian-type restaurant in Carlsbad. My seafood risotto was incredible, and the overall mood was v. fun and relaxed. And it was great to be reunited with my favorite writing friends (Anne, California Barbara, Christie, Deb, Grace, Jules, Steph, and Veronica, in alphabetical order rather than order of preferences), as well as meet the two new-to-me authors on the trip (Brenda, whom I've met casually a couple of times and always liked but haven't spent time with, and Jamie, whom I've heard great things about).

So we hung out there, then came to the house, unloaded, went through the brutal room selection process (the house is spread over four floors, so it's confusing and a lot of work to run around checking things out), and made a grocery list. But I refused to go grocery shopping; instead, I hung out at the house and then drove V and Anne a ridiculous block and a half to go to the nearby liquor store and pick up some wine.

We spent the evening just hanging out, snacking, gossipping, etc., and I availed myself of half of Veronica's rose, so so far I'm #winning. But now I need to sleep so I can hit the writing hard tomorrow - goodnight!

you been on my mind girl since the flood

I've had a great weekend in Los Angeles, and I anticipate having an equally wonderful week in Oceanside. The weekend was super chill - I got to the airport yesterday morning with enough time to have a tasty breakfast skillet and a mimosa, and then I worked on day job stuff on the plane ride + for another hour in the airport upon landing. That wasn't really what I wanted to do and I had hoped to leave my work laptop at home, but I will feel better knowing I left things in good shape.

Then I grabbed a rental car and drove into LA to check into my airbnb before rendezvousing with Irish Matt. We've been friends for many, many years - this April will be the fifteenth anniversary of when we lived in India together, which feels like a lifetime ago and also feels like it couldn't possibly be fifteen years ago. Irish Matt now has six-month-old twins, which also seems impossible - so our weekend was chill by necessity and design. We grabbed a quick drink together late yesterday afternoon, but then we went home and put the babies to bed while Matt's husband went to a party. So we stayed home and ordered takeout and drank too much wine, and then talked about politics and feminism and homophobia and babies and the tech industry and all sorts of other fascinating topics.

So, last night was #worthit, but I woke up this morning feeling a bit like death after having too much wine followed by not enough sleep in an unfamiliar bed. Also, annoying, the hot water heater in the airbnb was off, so I couldn't shower, which made me super surly. But I did leave the house, grab coffee at Caffe Vita, and write for half an hour, so that made me feel better. And then I spent the rest of the day with Matt and the babies - we went and looked at a house that Matt and Michael are considering buying (but probably won't), then had lunch at Messhall (I just had oysters, since I'd had breakfast at Del Taco and was still super full). The babies started to get fussy at the end, so we went home, and then I took a break to come back to my airbnb and talk to my parents (who were fine, with the exception of a slight fever and a v. v. gruesome story of blood and pain).

I went back over for dinner, though - I hung out with the babies a bit more, and then they went to bed. Matt ordered takeout Italian (my mushroom risotto was perfect), and I made margaritas using my favorite mix (which I found at the liquor store down the street), and we watched a couple of episodes of Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP show on Netflix, which may be considered research for the project I'm working on now. Then Irish Matt and I said our goodbyes, since I'm headed to Oceanside tomorrow. And now, even though it's only 11pm, I'm going to go to bed - goodnight!

we sang dirges in the dark

I would like to say that I'm in vacation mode, but I'm not yet - there are still several tings that I need to do to leave the office in good shape for next week, so I may take my work laptop with me so that I can accomplish those tings on the plane. I was planning to leave my laptop at home, but I would rather get some sleep tonight instead of trying to get everything done right now, so the laptop may be unavoidable.

But I told everyone at work that I'm going to be offline and not to bother me and that I won't even be checking my work phone, so hopefully I can do a couple of things in the morning (and one minor thing on like Thursday) and ignore the office the rest of the time. I shouldn't need a break, since we're like three weeks into the new year, but I'm pretty happy that I'm going to miss a week of work and focus on writing instead. I'm especially happy that the weather in Oceanside looks lovely - I could use some sun and warmth (sorry other people trapped in the midwest, for whom sun and warmth is a distant memory).

sssanyway. I went into the office today even though it probably would have been more efficient from a time perspective to work from home - but I knew that my mood still wasn't great, and it was better to see people in person rather than hermiting out. I was still a wee bit more direct with just about everyone than I probably should have been, but c'est la vie.

But I got the most pressing things done, left the office at five, came home, ate some delish leftover carnitas (seriously a perfect thing to batch cook, since reheating it in a skillet takes five minutes and adds just the right amount of crispy bits to the meat), and spent the evening packing, taking care of tings around the house, and generally getting ready to go to California. And now that I've accomplished all of that, I really need to go to bed - my flight is at ten, which means I can't dilly dally in the morning. Goodnight!

because the love, the love, the love, the love, the love that i gave was wasted on a nice face

I had a fairly horrible day at work, thanks for asking. Part of this was my fault - while it always feels good in the moment to stay up late and get things done (because I'm a night owl), my night owl self is never happy to wake up after too-little sleep and too much thinking about work in my dreams. So I woke up a little surly, ran late as a result, and never quite recovered my equilibrium. I made my best efforts (got a bit of work done, had lunch with others rather than eating at my desk, drank a Mountain Dew), but by five p.m. I was beyond done.

So I went to the mall and engaged in some retail therapy, which was probably a poor investment because it would be cheaper and probably better in the long run to pay for real therapy rather than assuming a hot pink sweater and some new moisturizer will cure everything that ails me (but I swear it will!). I grabbed dinner at Motomaki, then drove home and spent the evening ignoring work. I should have done a million things because I'm going to be off next week, but I wasn't feeling it - so I did laundry, put away dishes, took out trash, made a packing list, used my new moisturizer, journaled for awhile, and generally tried to unwind so that I can approach tomorrow with a slightly better outlook.

And now after that very woe-is-me post (which deserves a whole symphony of tiny violins, since I am paid very well for my rage and so can deal with it), it's time for bed. Goodnight!

my interior world needs to sanitize

Today was incredibly boring for all of you, and fairly boring for me - I woke up and wrote a bit before work, then went to the office, slogged until 4:15ish, and then dashed out to get a mani/pedi. After, I dropped back by the office to pick up a couple of packages, then came home, ate leftover carnitas, and then worked for the last three hours. And now, after an incredibly boring day that was good for getting things done, it's time for bed - goodnight!

don't take the money

I worked from home today and was way more unproductive than I had planned - getting back into it on the Tuesday after a three-day weekend was harder than I expected (with no real rationale, since I should have expected exactly this outcome because I've had many three-day weekends in my life, and they have never resulted in me being super eager to get back to work on Tuesday). But I did get up before work and write a few pages, so I'll take that and hope to replicate tomorrow.

And the day wasn't all bad - I did get a few things done, which is better than nothing. And I wrapped up a little before five when Caroline showed up at my house - she and I made plans to see the major Monet exhibit at the Denver Art Museum before it closes in a couple of weeks, so she drove into Denver and met me at my house. I haven't been to the Denver Art Museum in years (since before moving here, actually), so it was fun to play hooky at the end of the day and go there.

The Monet exhibit was, frankly, incredible - it was a gigantic retrospective of the artist's work over his entire career, and if I were to switch jobs I might be interested in the logistics, finances, and negotiations that must have occurred to get so many works on loan from so many different museums around the world. It was really well done, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Also, there is something not so different about visual artists like Monet when compared to the writing life -- his obsessive return to specific themes over the course of his life, the way he kept distilling things down from what were fairly detailed paintings in his twenties to what became a very abstract attempt to capture the essence of light and color and feeling in the end, the way he played with and broke the rules around form and movement....it all resonated, even if I'm more familiar with using written words to describe the landscape of internal conflict instead.

So, I'm really glad we made it into the exhibit before the end - it was worth it. When we were done, we had a fancy dinner at Panzano - I never go out downtown, but we had an excuse since we were already in that area. The brussels sprouts were amazing to start with, along with an excellent burrata; I then had a pork chop with polenta that was pretty much perfect. And it was great to hang out with Caroline - we have many things in common, especially with regards to work, and so we were able to go deep over wine rather than limit ourselves to drive-by discussions at the barista area at work.

And now, Caroline is ensconced in my guest room and I need to sleep if I have any hope of writing tomorrow - goodnight!

hold the wheel and drive

I had quite the productive day despite having it off. I woke up after slightly too little sleep, and I journaled and then wrote for an hour or so. I also did a tiny bit of day job work, but I kept it limited to a few minutes. Then I showered and actually vacated my house - I know, you're shocked too.

My destination was an Alamo Drafthouse movie theater, where I saw KNIVES OUT. I haven't been to a movie in forever forever, and I used to really like going to movies, so I bought the ticket yesterday on a bit of a whim to force myself to go. I'm glad I did - the movie was really fun and ridiculous and reminded me why I used to go to the movies. Also, if you haven't been to an Alamo Drafthouse, that's another bit of wonder - they have food service brought to your seat. I just got popcorn and a diet coke, which was stupidly expensive but cheap compared to California, and they brought the popcorn in a metal bowl, which eliminated crinkling paper bags.

So, I had a nice afternoon doing that, and I should just make it a plan to do this more often since the theater is on the way home from work. Then I ran some errands, came home, made carnitas in my instant pot that turned out fantastically (with enough leftover for a couple of meals this week + two more that I froze). And then I spent the evening talking to Terry and installing my new security system - I didn't get the cameras fully set up, but my interior seems to be working.

And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

all i do is win

I had a v. hermity day today - with the exception of walking down the block to pick up a pizza for dinner, I didn't leave the house and most of my interactions were in my own head. But it was a perfectly quiet kind of Sunday. I woke up, drank coffee, and journaled, which always makes for a better morning. I also showered and ate leftover chili for lunch, with the intention of going to the mall to return a couple of things - but I realized that if I went to the mall to return a couple of things, I was almost certainly going to buy more things, so I skipped it and decided to ship my return instead.

Still, I should have left the house to buy groceries, but I did not. And even though I don't really care about football, I watched the last half of the Chiefs game and most of the Niners - while my loyalty is ultimately to the Chiefs due to my childhood, it's hard not to be happy for the team that was my hometown team for so many decades. At some point in there I talked to my parents, and I also texted with [censored] and Drewbaby, all of whom were most likely v. happy about the Chiefs. And while I was watching football, I put together some sliding drawers for my hall closet and filled them with tools, survival supplies, etc. This was the extent of my house work today, and I should have done way more, but it'll have to do.

I also wrote for a couple of hours (a bit in the morning, mostly in the evening). I have no idea where it's going, or what I'm doing, or why, but it's going somewhere, and I guess I'll see where it's headed. And then I took a break from phones and tvs and laptops and picked up my ipad instead (which maybe doesn't look like a break) and read half a book. And now, I really must sleep - goodnight!

things are fine now

Today was a great mix of socializing and house stuff. I had brunch with Morganne at Linger, then did a bunch of house stuff, and then hosted my friend Sara, who lives north of here but was going a training in Denver and needed a place to crash. That meant she practiced coaching me, and then we grabbed delish food at El Camino. And now, after gossipping for many hours, it's time for bed - goodnight!

i just wanted you to watch me dissolve

I'm way too tired to blog, so you'll just have to trust that I had a good day. I had a whole bunch of meetings, including with the big boss, but the cafe had potatoes au gratin for lunch, so that went a long way toward making up for it. But I worked too much this week, and so tonight my brain was fried out - I wanted to do a whole lot, and instead did a whole lot of nothing. I did make chili and journal, so it wasn't a total waste - but I need to sleep and hope that my brain resets by morning. Goodnight!

mama if that's moving up then i'm moving out

Yep, the other shoe dropped and I was the one who dropped it. I slogged all day (my only break was lunch at 11:30), got home around six, made some sad gluten free boxed mac and cheese, and then worked for the last four hours. The thing I worked on was a) something no one asked for, b) is likely unwelcome, and c) will probably go nowhere, but in my usual style I can't let sleeping dogs lie. The problem I'm trying to solve has existed for a year and a half and will probably outlive me, and I should just let it go. But letting go isn't in my nature, so I will either solve this problem or continue to gnaw on it until the end of time.

sssanyway. Other than that, work was good. And since I take a perverse pleasure in trying to solve unsolvable, unpopular problems, making slides tonight was good too. But now I really need to consciously uncouple from my laptop and go to bed - goodnight!

life got led by people who just wanna flood your head

I had another day of slogging, but I'm weirdly starting to feel caught up. I haven't felt that way in at least a year...and so that probably means another shoe is about to drop. Or I may drop that shoe myself, since I tend to spin up major projects when I get even the slightest bit of extra time in my day.

But today was okay, all in all - I didn't write this morning because I had to be in the office earlier than I wanted to be, but I'm planning to get back on it tomorrow morning. I had meetings straight from when I arrived until 4:30, with a 30min break with lunch that I mostly wasted on fruitless arguing about policy with someone who doesn't care about my feelings on the situation (that sounds dramatic, but it was related to me trying to get a replacement for a work phone that broke due to a defect rather than my own negligence, and feeling v. entitled to something better than they were offering me). Luckily, fruitless arguing usually gives me energy, so I sailed through the rest of the day on the current of my self-righteousness.

As soon as my last meeting was over, I immediately fled - I wanted to come home and not talk to people for awhile, which I succeeded in. I did some stuff around the house, procrastinated, ate leftover Indian food, etc. but eventually I pulled out my work laptop and did a couple of hours of email. And now, still feeling weird that I'm almost caught up and wondering if I'm missing something, I'm going to go to bed.

And finally, on a better note, happy birthday to the one and only Drewbaby [my cousin, but you have probably pieced that together by now]. Goodnight!

people try and hide their lies underneath the covers

Today was pretty much a straight slog - I woke up not feeling particularly well (headachey, not anything serious), so I ended up journaling over my coffee, then showering, then doing a few hours of work from home. Unfortunately, I had to go into the office - I had a presentation to the big boss this afternoon, and while I could have taken it from home, it didn't feel like the right vibe.

However, I was rewarded for my diligence with some truly excellent carnitas for lunch, which is better than the peanut butter toast I would have had at home. I had meetings all afternoon, then did the presentation (which went well), and then a couple more meetings, and then I left a little before six. I stopped at Whole Foods to stock up on coffee and half and half, which is basically what I live on. Then I came home, ate, tidied up the house, and worked for the last 2.5 hours to put a dent in what has become a truly embarrassing email backlog. Luckily the dent I put into it was pretty impressive, so it was worth the pain of staying up. I also did it while drinking hot chocolate, which was almost as good as drinking wine (and probably more productive).

And now, I should really sleep - goodnight!

falling into you

So after staying up until midnight working last night, this morning was a bit painful. Still, I was going to be on time - until my eye started hurting while I was driving, which ended up resulting in me getting off the highway because I had a small hair stuck underneath my contact lens and couldn't get it out while I was on the road. Ugh.

But I made it in only a few minutes late to my nine a.m., and I stayed in the office and slogged pretty steadily until six. Then I grabbed Motomaki, drove home, and talked to [censored] on the way since we hadn't caught up in awhile. We talked even after I got into my house, and when we eventually parted ways, I had a few minutes to change into sweats before talking to Lauren [aka Subz] about plans for Terry's bachelorette. Luckily my scouting trip to Disney World in November came in handy, because I sound like I know what I'm talking about. So we made some decisions, and I did some more research, and we're in the process of booking things.

And now, after having spent a couple of hours going deep into the Walt Disney rabbit hole (or mouse hole, ugh, I'm embarrassed that I even said that), it's time for bed - goodnight!

these seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days

I should have gone to bed two hours ago, but that's the story of just about every Sunday.

Today was pretty solid, though. I woke up of my own accord around 7:30, made some coffee, and wrote for a couple of hours, which netted about seven pages. I also spent some time browsing Neiman Marcus in the name of "research", and it totally counts. The writing felt really good this week, so hopefully it continues to feel good long enough to actually get into the book. I won't write tomorrow morning because it's almost 12:30 and I have to be at the office by 8:45, but the rest of the week looks promising.

I spent the rest of the day procrastinating, doing laundry, talking to my parents, talking to Katrina (who I missed on my last trip to California, so we were way overdue), and then running a couple of errands and picking up takeout Indian food on the way back. And then, sadly, I worked from nine to midnight...I thought the thing I had to do would only take an hour, but I'm a perfectionist and so it took three instead. Oops.

But I'll be glad tomorrow that I did it, and I'll be even more glad if I go to bed right now instead of pushing off bedtime any longer. Goodnight!

i'd love it if we made it

I had a super lowkey day - I probably should have done more, but I probably don't care. I woke up in time to journal just a little bit this morning, and then I sped through the shower so that I could meet Katie for breakfast. We went to Bacon Social House, which I really enjoy - it's always a scene and always pretty loud, but their bacon hash is delicious. Katie and I spent quite a bit of time catching up there, and when it was time to vacate our table to let someone else come in from the 45min wait (we, smugly, had a reservation and so sailed right in), we wandered up and down that block and window-shopped. I ended up buying a plant (a variegated pothos), which was probably completely unnecessary, but made me pretty happy.

Sadly, we eventually had to part ways (after sitting in my car for ten minutes to partake of the most possible time in each other's company), so Katie and I went to our separate homes. I then spent the afternoon / evening alternating between trying to do stuff (calling my parents, measuring and planning the gallery wall of photos for my dining room, trying to choose photos for that wall, etc), and trying to do nothing at all (napping, reading twitter). I also wrote for about 45mins tonight - nothing spectacular, but it'll do.

And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

how many secrets do you keep

I was pretty lazy this morning - I had a whole week of not quite enough sleep, so I wasn't feeling getting out of bed this morning. I did, of course, eventually manage the feat, and I sat downstairs with my coffee and journaled and planned for the day. I also did a bit of work from my couch and would have happily stayed there all day, but I had to go in...

So I drove to work and had meetings from ten to four, with a break to talk to Kristen and eat lunch. Then I drove home and got here just in time for Kelly to come over - we hadn't caught up since before the holidays, and while I Instagram stalk her, it isn't the same as stalking her in person.

We sat on my couch and talked for quite awhile, and then her husband came over and we picked up pizza at Blue Pan. It was all low-key and chill the way all my favorite old-person Friday nights are, and I could have kept going - but they had to leave, and it was probably for the best since then I could just enjoy my fireplace and doze like my inner octogenarian wanted to.

And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

do I wanna know if this feeling goes both ways

I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night, which slid me a little closer toward my manic state...which I define as happy to be alive and therefore desiring to talk to everyone and not work at all. But I got up in time to write before work, so that was a win.

I then was at the office all day, although I wouldn't say I slogged - instead, I told some people about the ongoing romance drama (the president and executive director resigned today!), and I also started cleaning my desk. I haven't sat at my desk for more than a few minutes in at least three months - but now that I see some light in my schedule, it would be nice to have a reasonably clean desk (it was piled with the remains of multiple events, and covered in a fine layer of white dust from the ongoing construction nearby).

I ended up staying and working until 5:30ish, then came home, cleaned my kitchen, ate supper and journaled. I was considering doing some work tonight, but instead I talked to Drewbaby on the phone for awhile, which was a great wind-down to my day.

And now, I should really sleep - goodnight!

I might be as crazy as you say

Too tired and too late to blog - I got up and wrote before work, showered, drove to Boulder, and slogged all day (with an ill-advised Twitter break to check in on the ongoing destruction of my favorite professional organization, which a former coworker I haven't heard from in years pinged me to ask me about because it's gotten THAT BIG even outside the romance community, lolol sob).

Then I went to a happy hour and drank a Coke instead of tequila, which was a pretty major sacrifice since the other attendees mostly talked about kids the whole time. Then I drove home, ate, procrastinated, and worked for a couple of hours...and now I need to sleep so I can do it all over again. Goodnight!

you're my head start, you're my rugged heart

I woke up feeling vestiges of the anger that I sometimes woke up with last year, mostly related to a task that I'd put off last night and still didn't want to do. But I overcame my rage and drank coffee and wrote three pages, and was still in the office by nine. So that was a pretty great start, all in all.

I slogged all day, but I cancelled some meetings to get some actual work done, which made for a better day than usual. And then I had happy hour with my team - someone new is visiting from California, so some of us went out. This mostly ended up being Kristen and Kim and the new guy (Anthony, who I've been working with for awhile already), and we went to Sanitas, where we discovered that three of the four of us are doing dry January, and we also discovered that Sanitas no longer sells kombucha as a non alcoholic option. So I had a sad can of sparkling water, but it was made up for by the truly delicious nachos from the taco stand outside.

So we had a pretty delightful time, and it was a nice break / welcome back from the holiday. Then I dropped Anthony at his hotel, picked up some cream from the store, came home, ate leftover frittata, and worked for a couple of hours.

And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

some people never learn

It was the first work day of the new year that felt like a real work day, which was unfortunate. I also stayed up too late last night, but I managed to drag myself out of bed and write this morning. I netted about three pages, and also journaled briefly, which all felt amazing.

Sadly, it was a slow downhill slog from there. But I left at 5:15 and went to Shine with Vicky - we're both doing dry Januaries (although I intend for mine to end when I go on my writing retreat, and I did have wine when Becky and Brian were here), so instead of having wine we drank 'potions' (which are basically juice). We also had brussels sprouts and sweet potato fries and enough conversation to fill almost 2.5 hours, so that was a lovely way to spend my evening.

But by the time I got home it was 8:30, and I didn't want to do any of the day job stuff that is already piling up, so I ate leftover chile verde and did some stuff around the house. And now I really must sleep - goodnight!

hell is other people

I had a really lovely day, and I am really really not ready to go back to work tomorrow. I spent the morning drinking coffee, journaling, reading, and writing while curled up under my favorite blanket next to my fireplace - and if that ain't fucking idyllic, I don't know what is. Then I ate lunch, showered, and walked a mile or so north to Tennyson St (which is actually west of me, but I walked to a shopping district that is north of me), where I had coffee at Allegro and actually wrote for another hour. I know, you're shocked. I'm shocked. I won't say more for fear of jinxing it and not writing for another six months, but today felt good, so I'm going to nurture that little miracle and see what comes of it.

Then I walked home (with a stop in a clothing boutique - this felt like a v. San Francisco kind of day, other than the fact that my nose almost froze off on the walk back). When I got here, I dealt with some laundry, then called my parents. They were in fine form, and we chatted for about an hour before it was time for us to eat our respective suppers. Mine was leftover chicken from Friday + a freshly baked potato, and it was all v. tasty.

Then I wasted a bunch of time on twitter, messed around with more laundry, sent some emails about Terry's bachelorette, etc. And now I should really sleep so that I can get up and write before work - goodnight!

the devil you know

I had a hermity day, but since Barbara came to visit me and stayed for several hours, I was a hermit with company. I was pretty lazy this morning, but I got up in time to shower and start prepping brunch before Barbara arrived. Not that brunch was particularly hard - I made a frittata and had some berries to go with it, which was the sum total of my prep work.

It was really great to see Barbara - even though we live in the same state, we haven't seen each other in months because we were both traveling almost every weekend this fall. I gave her the tour of my house, and we chatted while eating brunch and then relaxing on my couch. It always does my soul good to hang out with other writers, and Barbara is particularly good for my mood. I get to spend a whole week with her (and many other friends!) on retreat at the end of the month, so hopefully I made it through three weeks of work and set things up so I can disconnect while I'm supposed to be writing.

After Barbara left, I was pretty lazy again - although I did rouse myself to put together an instant pot batch of pork chile verde. It turned out really well, although it took longer to cook than the chicken chile verde I'd made before - and I stupidly cut the pork into bite sized chunks before cooking, forgetting that I needed to remove those chunks after cooking so that I could puree the tomatillos/onions/chiles. So digging out all the pork was a little annoying, but it all tasted great, so #worthit.

Then I wasted a bunch of time on Twitter, but I eventually pulled myself out of the morass, reinked one of my fountain pens, and wrote for an hour. And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

i'm feeling like everyone's feeling alone

I worked from home today, which was such a joke that I feel like I should put work in quotation marks...but hey, it counts. I had a couple of meetings to bookend the day, and I accomplished some stuff in between - not as much as I should have given how busy next week will be, but it was better than nothing. And I did some quality journaling this morning, so at least I have that going for me.

But I sloughed off at 3:30ish so that I could make an early dinner for Aunt Becky and Uncle Brian, who drove up from Castle Rock to see me and my new house. I think they maybe actually really drove up to deposit the ten boxes of Gram's china and glassware that they brought me, but I'll pretend it was to see me. So we unloaded that, and then I gave them the usual tour, and then we ate some cheese while I finished making dinner. I made a baked lemon chicken (which I'd made for Katie and [censored] a few months ago and wanted to make again), some baked potatoes, and a tasty salad with dried cranberries, toasted pumpkin seeds, apples, and cheese. All in all I was pretty happy with how the food turned out, and I'm also pretty happy to have a kitchen and a dining room for the first time in years.

We talked for quite awhile, which was nice, and then they took off so they could get home before it got too late. I then wasted the rest of the night (although I did clean my kitchen), but now I'm in bed and I'm going to read a bit before going to sleep. Goodnight!

in spaceships, they won't understand

I went back to work today, and I wish that all work days could be like this - mostly because I only had one meeting, and it only lasted ten minutes. So, I was able to get a bunch of stuff done, and enjoy my lunch, and still get out of there at four to get a manicure.

Once the manicure was over, I bought a bunch of groceries, drove home, put those groceries away, and then messed around reading (both books and the internet until now). And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

come along, catch a heffalump

Happy new year! It would be awesome if my first post of 2020 had some grand revelation, or amazing occurrence to discuss - but if that's what you're here for, you shall be sorely disappointed.

Still, despite the lack of grand revelations and amazing occurrences, I still had a good day. I spent some time journaling this morning, which is always a good way to start the day. And I mostly alternated between being lazy and getting stuff done - on the getting stuff done side, I shoveled a path to my garage, did a couple of loads of laundry, made a grocery list (but failed to go grocery shopping, because lazy), and finally finished organizing my office. This involved putting together a set of shelved to go in the closet, then arranging a bunch of stuff, putting photos on my writing mood boards, etc. I still want to get something to hang on one of the walls, and there's a box of papers that needs to be sorted and filed, but for the most part it's all pretty well organized. So, that's a great clearing exercise to start the year.

I also reread some older manuscript pages, even though I didn't actually write - but it's a start. We'll see what 2020 holds, but I intend to make it hold a lot more writing and a lot less stressing about the day job - let's see how successful I am with that.

And now, I should go to bed - I have to go to the office tomorrow, and while I'm not ready to go back to work, tomorrow and Friday should be pretty quiet and I'd rather save those vacation days for another purpose. Goodnight!