apple crumble

I’m sitting in my room after a long but fruitful day in Seattle. I woke up this morning relatively early, even for my current VC life, and I got coffee from the lounge before settling in to my room to write in my journal. It was v rainy and atmospheric, especially thirty floors up, and while the atmospheric clouds were cool to look at, they confirmed that I must never live in Seattle because I would have seasonal depression three hundred days a year - and then it’s just depression, not seasonal depression.

Anyway, I wrote and did various tings for quite awhile, and also went back to the lounge to eat and grab more coffee. I know I sound insufferably bougie, but it amuses me that the lounge at a Sheraton or Marriott (which is accessible only if you have, like, platinum status, which I do) serves the exact same powdered eggs that you get with any free breakfast at a Fairfield or Courtyard. Granted, this breakfast also had better coffee and an amazing view, but I’m just saying that perks aren’t what they used to be (but are probably still better than no perks at all).

At some point I took a twenty minute nap because I had gotten up too early, and then I showered and ventured out into the world. I stopped in at the flagship Nordstrom (technically Nordstrom Store #1) just to see it, and while it was beautiful, it just made me nostalgic for the old SF Nordstrom flagship that was even better and is now dead. I also grabbed some dry shampoo at Sephora to replenish my supplies, and then I went to a couple of Korean/Japanese stationery shops, which is basically my holy grail in any city. After I bought all of their products, I had a late lunch at a French bistro, then wandered through Pike Place Market and bought a variety of dips and snacks for Ritu and her family.

I then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening hanging out at Ritu’s house. I did not say much yesterday because I was too tired, and I will perhaps not say much tonight either. But Ritu’s brother and sister-in-law (+ their two adult kids) and her sister were in residence the entire time. I’ve met them all several times since I went to Shelly’s wedding in Germany many years ago, and they also all grew up in ye olde Iowa, so it all felt very familiar. Due to the traditions around Hindu funerals they can’t really leave the house, cook, use open flame, or do much of anything else until the rituals are all completed. So I took them snacks yesterday and today, and other friends and neighbors dropped off or ordered food to keep them all going.

It is, of course, all quite sad; Ritu’s mom had been declining for awhile, but they didn’t quite expect that she would pass quite as early as she did. Luckily Shelly made it to the US just in time, although her daughter can’t come due to a passport issue, which is rough. And in a sort of intellectual, compartmentalization kind of way it was interesting to see how other families handle mourning and logistics (which is, perhaps, the only kind of way that I could think about it while still not so far from my own mourning and logistics).

So anyway, I hung out until late evening, and then decided that I should say my farewells before I started to melt down as badly as the children from too many snacks + lack of sleep. And now I probably should go to bed (even without availing myself of a free wine at the bar) - while the time change may help me out tomorrow, I do have to get with it in the morning so that I can go to Vegas. Wish me luck on the next phase of my journey - goodnight!

she's got a heart of gold, she'd never let me down

I have successfully arrived in San Francisco, which I am mildly surprised by - the weather here has been atrocious, and earlier in the day there were dozens of canceled flights and lots of long delays. So, I proceeded with my day operating under the lurking suspicion that I would be spending the night in Seattle. I still got up (slightly painfully), showered, packed, and checked out, and I still went to the airport at the right time (which was a good thing), but it doesn't feel quite real that I made it.

Today was really nice, though - I had a leisurely morning, and then I met up with Ritu to look at tile (for her house, not mine, although it gave me some remodel PTSD) and then I v. delicious lunch at an excellent Italian place across the street from my hotel. I have a strong urge to recreate the salad that they made, and the gluten free pasta was perfect, so it was a good way to recover from yesterday's shenanigans. It was also a good way to hang out with Ritu - it's never long enough, but it was a lovely visit.

Then, she went to pick up her daughter and I had an iced coffee at my hotel before going to the airport. The travel was as uneventful as it could be, which was v. welcome, and I slept most of the flight. Then, I came to Chandlord's, since she is graciously hosting me while I'm here. She let me in and we caught up briefly, but it's a work night for her and I want to get up tomorrow and get back into the writing zone, so we said goodnight early. And now I'll do the same to you - goodnight!

the salt in my eyes, as i clear the border

I had a delightful day with other Iowans in ye olde Iowa. This required more driving time than actual time spent hanging out, but that's also par for the course in a state where tings worth doing are hours away from each other. I got up this morning and left the house fairly soon after waking up so that I could drive 3+ hours to Cedar Falls, where I saw....

<drumroll>

Ritu Rani, the original Master of Disaster. We are both Iowans (Iowegians), although we didn't know each other here, and she was in the state because her niece started med school at University of Iowa this weekend. So, Ritu and I took Ritu's small children (who are full-blooded Iowans since their dad is also Iowan, although they were born on the coasts) out for lunch in Cedar Falls. We stopped by a cute little paper store, and then we had a leisurely lunch on the patio of a place where I ate entirely too many varieties and quantities of fried potatoes (tots under my steak and eggs, and also truffle fries with cheesy sauce). I'm also pretty sure that Ritu's younger daughter is a raccoon since she washed her pizza in Ritu's water glass, but I could be wrong about that one.

Lunch was a total delight, and we followed it up with a trip to the candy store (where Anika, the older daughter) managed to negotiate her way into far more candy than anyone intended), and then to the Dairy Queen where Ritu used to go as a kid. Ritu also drove me by the house where she grew up, which was fun for me (and prob v. bittersweet for her). I've never been to Cedar Falls or Waterloo, as far as I can remember, because there is no reason for me to go there, but if I were going to spend five hours in Cedar Falls, this was the way to do it.

Eventually, we met up with Ritu's mom at a coffee shop, and then I abandoned them to their evening plans and drove home. And now, I need to sleep so that I can get some stuff done tomorrow - goodnight!

uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seís

I have made it to ye olde Iowa after a v. long day of driving, and I'm not particularly excited about turning around and going back in a couple of days. However, there was some stuff in Colorado that needs to be in Iowa, and I could spare the time to make the trip this weekend, so I did it.

Of course, that meant loading the car this morning, so I didn't get out of Denver until almost 10:45am. But I made it all the way with only a couple of gas/bathroom stops + a longer break to sit down and eat dinner at Runza (an apparently Nebraskan chain I had never heard of until I started driving I-80 regularly). And I had a couple of nice chats to break the monotony of the drive - both Ritu and Terry called me, and it was great to hear their voices.

And now, I'm rather desperate for sleep, but I've been engaging in bedtime procrastination. It's time to rectify that. Goodnight!

muscle to muscle and toe to toe

I had a pretty good day today - it was the first day where I didn't feel like I had to take a nap, although I do feel like I need to go to bed early. I wrote for a bit before work, which was great, and I survived all of my meetings unscathed. And when I was done with meetings, I probably should have done house stuff or packing stuff to prep for going back to ye olde Iowa this weekend...but instead I made spaghetti all'amatriciana (one of my favorite fast-ish weeknight suppers - cook bacon, red onion, garlic, and red pepper flakes, add some tomato sauce, and toss with spaghetti). It was delicious, and also made me want to go to Italy.

Instead of going to Italy, I spent the rest of the evening torturing myself by reading the first couple of chapters of DIRT - it's a memoir by a guy who moved his family to Lyon so he could learn French cooking. So far so good - his style is easy (he's a writer/journalist by trade, not a chef, so of course the writing is easy) and I'm completely ravenously desperate to go to Europe. I also tortured myself by texting with my family time group; Jess had sent an article yesterday about how all the pandemic group chats are dead, which is quite unfortunately not true of ours, since it mostly consists of unwelcome reminiscences (Adit reminded me tonight that I was in his bottom 8 - aka the least cool people in our dorm), insults (see the aforementioned), and too much discussion of Ritu Rani's nephew the tiktok influencer. But at least I'll be in SF in a month, which is not Europe but is also better than nothing.

And now I need to sleep so that I can power through some work tomorrow and then also power through some house stuff and then also watch some Olympics (YAY) - goodnight!

lover come hold me, head's on the fritz

I had a v. lazy day, with the intent of supporting my recovery as much as possible. However, the pain in my abdomen was slightly worse today than it was yesterday - the incisions are tiny and don't look particularly angry, but perhaps those holes were just big enough to slip an immersion blender inside and go to town with it. Who knows - I certainly don't, since I was asleep when the robot attacked. But as along as I take ibuprofen or tylenol as scheduled, and occasionally slip in something stronger, it's all totally manageable.

So today was fairly boring, but I got plenty of sleep last night and took a couple of naps today, so that seems good. I also grazed on soups and various snacks throughout the day, texted with some people (hi master of disaster!), and talked to my parents, [censored], and Veronica. And I've finished the evening by reading quite a bit of a book called FOUR THOUSAND WEEKS, which is a self-help type book that is anti-productivity (at least in the classic sense of how productivity books are usually written) - so far it's really good and is hitting a lot of nerves that I've been working through recently, but I'll have more to say about it when I finish it.

And now, even though my mind wants to stay up and finish the book, my abdomen is telling me it's time for bed. Goodnight!

everyone's a winner, we're making our fame

I should not have stayed up to work until 11:30, but that's the way it goes right now. Today was a brutal meeting slog (starting at 8:30, ending at 5:30, with two 30min breaks), but I survived (thanks to a poke bowl delivery). Then I took a break in the evening - I ate dinner, did some laundry, finally planted my last plants that I bought a couple of weeks ago, read twitter, and gave myself a fresh gel manicure. So the work didn't pick up again until 9:30, and then I couldn't help myself in terms of what I absolutely had to get done.

But now I can go to bed, push hard through tomorrow's similarly heavy meeting schedule, have some fun, and then coast through Friday before the weekend begins in earnest.

And now, before I go to bed, I shall document that Adit, Ritu, Chandlord, Claude, and Jess had dinner in Oakland (jhokeland) at Arthur Mac's last night. They sent me a picture this morning wondering if it even happened if it wasn't documented on my blog - so voila, it's now part of posterity. And I am jealous, but my time in San Francisco is coming eventually. Goodnight!

he always holds the door but i found him in a mosh pit

I'm v. v. tired, which is always how I feel after driving back to Colorado. The combination of the drive (which was rough on my still-healing calf, although I think it'll be okay if I'm careful), the interminable miles across Nebraska, and the return to altitude after several weeks away leaves me feeling dehydrated and almost hungover.

That said, today was as good as the reentry day can be. I woke up this morning and got on the road pretty quickly, thanks to the fact that I had leftover Casey's pizza and a Starbucks coffee drink in the motel minifridge so that I didn't have to deal with finding food when I left. I did end up stopping in North Platte for gas, which was a bit of a jhoke because the pump was going so slow that it was taking a minute per gallon (well, actually, 54sec per gallon - I timed it). So I left with only four gallons, grabbed a coffee, and drove to Colorado, where I stopped in Sterling (I think) for more gas and another drink.

I made it home around 12:30pm MDT, unloaded everything from my car, and promptly spent most of the afternoon lounging in bed. I knew that the likelihood that I would feel like doing anything this afternoon was slim, so rather than fighting it, I just changed into some shorts, opened my balcony door to air out my room, and lazed. I spent an hour talking to [censored], who was on his way back to [censored], since we hadn't had enough conversation the last few weeks (and also [censored]'s drive is almost five hours, which is shorter than mine but still can use some phone call distraction to get through it). I messed around on my phone and sort of napped. All in all, it was a lovely, lazy, blurry afternoon, and it was what I needed.

I did rally in time to order dinner from my favorite Indian place (which was strangely not as good as usual), and I did two loads of laundry and unpacked a bunch of stuff. And then I ended the night with a family zoom call - we were overdue for a call. Adit, John, Jess, Claude, Sam, Ritu, and Bill all showed up, so we were only missing Chandlord (and Priyanka, but it was 11pm on the east coast when it started, so Adit was willing to stay up but Priyanka is forgiven). Everyone seemed to be in fine form, and we got to admire Claude's baby, discuss random people none of us have seen in years, watch John eat some birthday cheese, discuss property values and building material costs (a favorite topic for me and [censored], so I had info to share), etc., etc. All in all people were in fine form and it was a delightful way to end the weekend, even if I should have slept two hours ago.

And on that note, it's time for bed - goodnight!

let's get it started in here

Well, I am certainly awake later than I had planned. Today was pretty productive, from what I remember - I made some oatmeal for the week, journaled, showered, etc. and then talked to Veronica for an hour, which was very much overdue. She was a delight, as usual, and I feel v. grateful to have writer friends who know exactly what a struggle the writing can be sometimes.

Then I spent the afternoon taking care of tings around the house, including another attempt at the harissa-rubbed pork shoulder that I made last weekend. Last weekend's effort was a disaster that was so bad that I threw out four pounds of pork, which is really just a total tragedy. But I was determined to try again. So, I made the rub and put the pork in the oven around one. Then I messed around, did some laundry, and did a couple of hours of day job work to make tomorrow just a little more bearable.

Eventually, the pork was at the right temperature (part of what I didn't like of the original recipe was that she gave a time for cooking it, not a temperature to cook it to, which is really not a good idea when it comes to big chunks of pork). So I let it rest and did some more work, and then cranked up the oven heat, threw some beans in with the pork, and finished it off. The end result was much better than last week - it was actually good, and while I think I could still perfect the technique, I was happy with how it turned out.

Then, as supper ended, I poured a glass of wine....and accidentally watched the Oprah/Harry/Meghan interview twice. I say accidentally because I very much intended to watch it once tonight (I had set a recording and also told myself that if I finished work I could watch it undistracted). But then Adit texted about a live watch as a family, and they were an hour behind me (two hours, actually, since the timezone is an hour back but then the broadcast schedule is even later). So I finished my watch and immediately hopped onto a zoom to watch with Adit / Chandlord / Riturani.

I had a lot of thoughts, but I'm too tired to recap here - basically it's just a sad situation and it's kind of shocking that the royal family (esp Charles) doesn't seem to have learned any lessons in the past forty years. Not so shocking that the palace is full of racist, hidebound courtiers - but shocking that the family didn't do more to figure this situation out. Anyway, it was v. interesting to watch, and it was entertaining to watch it a second time with the family (I did my nails while watching the second time, so at least I have something to show for it).

After the interview was over, we debriefed (and Priyanka joined)...and now it's after midnight here and I desperately need to sleep. Goodnight!

all my favorite songs are slow and sad

I'm back in Denver, after the v. sad realization that the only states I've been in in almost a year are Colorado, Iowa, and Nebraska. Colorado and Iowa are great, but I hate driving across Nebraska (and yet it continues to be my destiny). This is the one-year anniversary of my last week in California, and it feels like a lifetime ago....

sssanyway. Things seemed to be going well when I said my farewells to my parents this morning, so hopefully my dad stays on the mend. I left them with the threat that if I have to come back to cook for them, I'm cooking garbanzo beans, so hopefully that's some motivation. After I packed up my car and ate some breakfast and said goodbye to my parents, I hit the road - the drive is officially ten hours and twenty minutes, but I think I lost fifteen minutes because I stopped four times, so it was more like ten hours and thirty-five minutes. Usually I speed just enough to almost keep up the pace, but still, I feel like I made pretty good time.

The drive grows ever more boring since there is nothing new to see, but I had a long chat with [censored], so that helped. I also listened to an audiobook called CHATTER by Ethan Kross - it's about our internal monologues and how to reshape them (which is key, since my internal monologue veers mostly between arguing with coworkers + being worried about not writing enough + tallying up my quarantine stockpiles). It was really interesting and sort of made me wish I'd gone into neuroscience after undergrad - and it was a good audiobook to listen to while drowning out my internal monologue on the drive.

When I got home, I dragged most of my stuff inside, ordered Indian takeout, and took a quick shower. Then I had a family dinner zoom - we hadn't talked in weeks, so when John suggested a zoom tonight, we all showed up. Priyanka didn't join, and Sam was offscreen, but otherwise it was a full quorum: Claudia (aka Santy), Chandlord (aka Vidya), John and Jess, Adit wearing a v. fashionable sweatshirt, and Ritu and Bill (+ a very creepy doll that Bill left on screen as a placeholder before they could actually join). We had much to discuss, which was accomplished, and we also went a little too deep on discussions of influencers and SPACs and how to wipe off a cake.

And now, I'm completely wiped out and need to sleep since I have to work tomorrow - goodnight!

falling asleep at the wheel

It's ridiculously cold today, and it's a reminder that winter isn't just coming...it's here. But in my house, it's cozy - I have bought every faux fur blanket and fleecy loungewear it's possible to buy, and I have a space heater for my office and a fireplace for my living room and flannel sheets for my bed. Yes, I have gone so hard on #treatyoself quarantine goodies that I have basically fashioned a nest for myself out of material objects to replace tings like friends and family and restaurants and travel and the ability to walk into any store without worrying about catching a communicable disease (okay, I used to worry about communicable diseases in some places, but they were mostly places that I shouldn't have been and mostly diseases related to food poisoning).

ssssanyway. Today was pretty good - I had a long but productive day at work, and I had a break around 4:30 to start a chickpea stew, which was a good thing because it took two and a half hours to simmer. This was because I started with dried chickpeas rather than canned; I had soaked them overnight, but they still took awhile to soften. But I made a chickpea and chorizo stew, the recipe for which I got from a winery in Sonoma a million years ago, when I went on a Thanksgiving weekend trip with Ritu and the guy she was dating at the time (who is not Bill). She should have known it wasn't gonna work out when she invited me to share her two-bed hotel room with her and the guy - but I got a lot of fun memories and a recipe for chickpea and chorizo stew, so it was definitely worth it for me. Editor's note on the memories, though: I completely forgot that after we went to five wineries, we had dinner at Panda Express (according to the blog), which definitely tells you that it happened in 2004 when I was still relatively poor and also eating gluten. Ah, to be that young and innocent and able to soak up wine with orange chicken.

sssanyway again. The stew was delicious, and my kitchen is now clean, and I'm pretty sure I won't cook a damn thing tomorrow. I spent the last bit of time designing my Christmas card, and I'm hopeful that it will turn out beautifully, but we shall see. And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

nothing hurts like your mouse

Today was good, but long and full of zooms. I woke up and had a v. leisurely morning with coffee and journaling, etc. And I made some tasty acelgas guisadas, which is basically just stewed tomatoes, onions, potatos, and chard - I make it every once in awhile as a bed for poached eggs, and it hit the spot today.

The afternoon was then consumed with a variety of catch-ups - I talked to my parents first, which was unusually early, but I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to catch up. Then I talked to Veronica; we hadn't talked in weeks, so we were v. overdue. Then, almost immediately after that I talked to Terry - we did a phone call instead of a zoom because everyone is zoomed out, and it was lovely.

Then I took a break, ate some takeout thai food, messed around, took a nap, etc. And I ended the evening with a family dinner zoom in honor of Adit's birthday; Marina was a surprise special guest. Vidya won best jhoke for a truly terribly joke about all the mink that died of covid (coatvid), which she only won because there were no other jokes. Adit and Priyanka claimed to be in a local maxima, but everything they discussed seemed pretty minima - they won 'worst problem', which was that they had a mouse staring at them and eating one of their doors through most of the call.

You can catch up on the rest of the topics with the chat transcript, which was used to catch people up as they joined late:

[in regards to Adit's birthday] Adit’s parents ordered cake
Sister ordered cupcakes
Priyanka bought flowers for the photos
They have a mouse

John bought a dinghy

Marina had to teach online bc the Colorado college students all have covid

John and Jess’s kid is still in backyard school

Bill is wearing plaid pants

The mouse is eating through the door
it’s like a zombie mouse
trying to get to them

Ritu and Bill bought a house
but they can’t get out of their lease
one road in, one road out (same road, as Bill said)

oh yeah - John’s new dinghy has a hole in it
The term 'dinghy' is a loanword from the Bengali ḍiṅgi, Urdu ḍīngī, and Hindi ḍieṁgī

They hired a professional [to get rid of the mouse]
$1000

a dingo is not a dinghy

Pls vote for coated!!! coatvid

We also discussed nap dresses and nap suits, Priyanka's problem with mopping floors, how Adit's best birthday was the one he didn't spend with any of us, Bill's parents' house sitting unattended in Georgia (if you need somewhere to break in), paddleboarding, air quality in the bay area, etc. Pretty standard, and pretty low energy if we're all being honest. But seven months into quarantine, everyone is pretty low energy, so I guess that's what you get.

And now I need to sleep - goodnight! 

sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tear

 It is 1:12am, which means my goal of smoothly transitioning back into work bedtimes is behind schedule. Today was v. lovely, though. I woke up this morning in time to write for a bit, which went decently well. Then I took a previously-scheduled hiatus to meet with someone from work - he's the person who I delegated most of my stuff to, and he's out next week when I come back, so we decided to sync up today just to make sure I'm aware of what's happening. Sounds like everything went decently smoothly, and so while I'm sure there are surprises lurking in my inbox, hopefully I shall survive them.

Then I had two house things scheduled - a plumber to check the leak in my bathtub (which I've ignored for months because it doesn't always drip if I turn the handle just right) + hook up my new gas grill, and someone to measure my master bedroom shades so I can replace them with something that is actually a shade instead of a thin piece of mesh. They were both surprisingly early - the plumber was an hour early (so I had to pause my work meeting), and the shade guy showed up before his two-hour slot. The plumber is coming back Monday to fix the tub, but he was able to hook up the gas grill v. v. quickly; the shade guy was quick and efficient, so hopefully I can figure that out in the next couple of weeks as well.

Since that was all over before noon, I had some unexpected time on my hands. So I ate lunch, then went to a local cheese shop and bought some v. delicious cheeses; I also stopped in at my liquor store and bought Fernet, which is the official drink of San Francisco. I don't like it, but I guess I was homesick. I also bought another half-bottle of champagne and some more Aperol for future Aperol spritzes, because why not. Then I came home, put tings away, and prepped some food for tomorrow.

I then spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning, tidying, throwing things away, etc. And then around 5:30, Sarah-Frances came over - we're coworkers, but we had a potential friendship before we became coworkers, so I feel like it's fair game. She came back from maternity leave exactly two days before I went on vacation, so we were overdue for a catch-up, and my patio is ideally situated for social distancing. We ate cheese, drank bourbon cocktails (with Fernet - the other reason I bought Fernet is because I remember she likes it, but she discovered it in Argentina instead of SF), ordered v. delicious Thai food, and drank wine with dinner. It was delightful to hang out, and she stayed until after dark, and it all almost, kind of, not quite felt normal.

After she left, I texted a photo of the Fernet bottle to the family and suggested doing shots, which turned into a zoom call to check in on each others' local minima. For a zoom call at 10pm MDT / 9pm PDT with 20min notice, turnout was steller; Adit and Priyanka joined (Adit for local minima reasons, Priyanka to talk to me about nap dresses), as did John and Jess (whose local minima was the worst of the night), Chandlord, Ritu Rani, and Ritu Rani's naked baby. We discussed a wide variety of topics over the course of two hours, including local minima, nap dresses, the British royal family, the San Francisco housing market, politics and truth and how screwed we all are, sandwiches, the ability of toddlers to button clothes, and a variety of other tings.

So, that was all v. restorative (or at least as restorative as a late-night zoom call can be). And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

wind chimes

Today was lovely - except for the fact that I woke up and discovered that my torso is covered with chigger bites from yesterday's efforts to mortar the cave. This is unfortunate, since chigger bites last for days. But despite being surly (and itchy) from that, I persevered - I got up, got ready, and the spend the morning taking care of tings around the house.

Sometime around eleven, Aunt B and Uncle B showed up with stuff to give to us (note: my mother's basement is coming a chair graveyard; we already have too many and this haul just added six more to the collection. But we had a lovely couple of hours together - my parents made brats, and baked beans, and five cup salad (which involves fruit and coconut and sour cream, just trust me).

After they were gone, I sat around, did some desultory stuff, and said goodbye to [censored]. The evening progressed through multiple rounds of sitting outside + several western movies (mostly for my dad), and ended up a semi-impromptu family dinner. Ritu (and a sleeping Bill), John/Jess, Chandlord, and Claudia/Sam all dialed in, and it was pretty much the same as usual. We especially went deep on nap dresses, slugs (especially slugs named Naner), snails (which are destined to eat Jess's garden, sleeping patterns of infants, yawning (fake, real, and suppressed), etc. So, it was lovely to see them all - but now I've been falling asleep in my chair for the last thirty minutes, so I need to go to bed. Goodnight!

so many problems, you can take your pick

Man, what a day.

I got up earlier than I have been because my dad's company was taking an online safety training for an upcoming job and I was tech support. [censored] and I have a strict division of tech support labor - [censored] supports wired tech and I support wireless. Since we determined the best way to run this training was to use my laptop to cast to a chromecast/tv, that made it a wireless problem. So I made coffee, set things up, and was generally around in case any problems happened. I probably had a better morning than the guys who had to sit through a safety training, but it was still an unusual way to spend my Friday morning.

I then spent the afternoon relaxing after such an onerous activity - and by that I mean I read Twitter obsessively, got sad/angry, took a nap, and then repeated that cycle. The news coming out of Minneapolis (and Louisville, and Georgia, and the many other places where black people are basically murdered by cops who can claim they were just doing their jobs and/or afraid, with no repercussions regardless of how clearly they're violating people's rights) is awful; we seem to be headed for another summer of 1968, this time in a pandemic, and with a political climate that is going to incite the worst behavior Americans can unleash on each other. So yeah, not feeling totally good right now, tbh.

But I rallied because we had some family photos scheduled for tonight. [censored] and I had arranged them as a Christmas present, so a photographer came out to take our photos. I think it went really well - the photographer was lovely and hilarious, and she caught some great moments, and the weather was totally perfect for an evening in my mom's flowers and my dad's rock formations. The photographer also spilled some hot gossip, which I'm always here for....so, all in all, it was a lovely evening and I'm super glad we did it.

After the photos wrapped up, Jess texted me asking for an impromptu family dinner, which I duly organized. Ritu had told us that a girl we went to college with had died suddenly (unclear why), and Jess had known the girl's mom pretty well through a strange twist of fate related to working in the same company, so it was a bit of a shock. So, Jess/John, Adit/Priyanka, Claudia/Sam, and Claudia's two-month-old joined a family dinner zoom - it was v. late in Iowa, but v. welcome that we can usually make an impromptu family dinner work whenever someone is feeling like a local minima.

So we chatted for ages, and it was v. lovely and left me feeling happy. And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

it took a lifespan with no cellmate

Gotta go to bed immediately - it's after midnight and I had planned to be in bed two hours ago. Today was better than yesterday, though, mostly because I started by getting eight hours of sleep. I took care of some tings around the house this morning, ate some leftover muffins, made avocado toast for lunch, did some laundry, trimmed my bangs, took a full shower (full shower = washed my hair and shaved my legs, so fancy), bought some turnips in Animal Crossing, etc., etc. I also ran an errand to Crate and Barrel to get curbside pickup for my new coffee grinder, which is quarantining in its bag for a day or two before I pull it out.

Then I came home, cleaned up my back patio, and called my mom (Happy Mother's Day!). It wasn't a particularly happy day, it sounds like, since the weather wasn't conducive for gardening and the world is on fire, but it was nice to talk to her. Then I talked to my dad, and then I spent some quality time making supper. I made a perfectly cooked ribeye, and I also made blistered green beans and reheated a twice baked potato, so it was all v. delicious.

Then I talked to [censored] for a bit. And then I had an impromptu family dinner that lasted a couple of hours - I had texted the family asking who had ended up in a local minima this week, and that turned into a zoom call to discuss:

- Chandlord and I are definitely in local minimas, although hers is worse than mine. Mine is just the slowly simmering dread and angst over the knowledge that I'll probably be working from home the rest of the year. Chandlord's is somewhat work-related, with the added possibility that she's been exposed to the 'rona.
- Ritu seemed to be fine, although her child was full of cake and still awake. But I accidentally called her a non-essential employee, so our friendship is probably over.
- John and Jess joined and John said his local minima was last week; Jess hasn't had a local minima in four years.
- Adit added Chris Boyd, whom none of us had seen in forever; Chris claimed to be fine, but the story he told right at the end indicated that he may only be 'not in a local minima' because he hasn't hit bottom yet.
- Adit and Priyanka are dealing with the horror of having two small children at home, one of whom is a loser who can't play basketball. So they may have it the worst of all.


And now it's 12:30am and I have to work in the morning, so I should really really go to bed. Goodnight!

i'm faded

I'm sleepy. Today was fine, but it involved more meetings than I wanted to have - but since I wanted to have zero meetings, any number of meetings was going to feel like too many. However, I slogged pretty steadily from nine until five, and then I snuck out to run to Whole Foods and stock up before the weekend. Dairy and eggs are back, and I got antibac kitchen spray for the first time since before quarantine, and most other things were available - but Cinco de Mayo cleared out limes and cilantro, and the continued disaster unfolding in the slaughterhouses meant that a lot of the meat was gone. Luckily I didn't really need meat (although I opportunistically bought some chicken legs, and I also bought some lunch meat, and also some scallops (which maybe don't count)), so I left feeling in pretty good shape.

Then I came home, put my groceries away, and reheated some carnitas and rice/beans for a carnitas bowl. Then I talked to Riturani for quite awhile - she was in fine form, and her daughter sang some songs to me, and it was all v. lovely. I could have kept talking all night...but instead I think it's time for bed. Goodnight!

sing about the sixblade, sing about the switchback and a torture tattoo

Day 41. There are moments when it feels like I can't cook another thing, clean another thing, do another thing, especially by myself. There are moments where I would give my fortune to sit at a bar and watch someone make me a drink while overhearing a first date gone bad. There are moments when I obsessively count my canned goods and frozen meats, and other moments when I think I could just eat cereal until this is all over.

But then there are other moments, like the fact that my college friends are doing family dinner on Sunday nights again despite being spread across several states (and the SF vs East Bay divide is usually just as insurmountable as SF to Colorado, or East Bay to Seattle). Tonight's family dinner included:

- a long discussion about urine, mostly because of the...
- introduction to Claudia's baby! Téo is less than three weeks old, but he made it to the Zoom call and did so in style. He doesn't have a nickname yet but I'm sure it's coming.
- an also-long discussion of baby massage
- Nepalese nannies
- a tour of my house, which started mostly because I went off in search of a refill on my Bailey's
- nap dresses (aka nightgowns for you peasants out there)
- Bill wearing a blanket like a shawl, but not quite like Lenny Kravitz's blanket-scarf
- John and Jess being out of barbecue sauce
- the lack of barbecue sauce didn't stop them from making the Round Barn their background image for part of the call
- Vidya managed to wrap a scarf all the way around her head and then get it unwrapped before sneezing, which was a real feat of physical prowess in these troubled times

sssanyway. Family dinner was lovely, even if it wasn't spent at Enjoy Vegetarian eating a variety of vegetarian Chinese dishes while being judged/ignored by the waitstaff. The only downside is the lateness of the hour and the fact that I've been drinking slow/steady since two p.m. (truly slow/steady - I had a mojito at 2, two glasses of wine from 5-8, and two pours of Bailey's from 8-11).

The rest of my day was okay - I woke up and could have ended up in a total black pit hellscape, but managed to pull myself out of that mood. I did a bit of writing at some point this morning too, which I'll take. And I did some stuff around the house, talked to some writer friends (Anne, Grace, Veronica, and Barbara), and took a walk while talking to my parents. And now, unfortunately, I need to sleep - goodnight!

i hope i get the chance to travel the world but i don't have any plans

Today was not great - it's hard to eat enough when my tongue hurts, and I'm taking maximum doses of ibuprofen, so I woke up with a stomach ache. So I canceled as many meetings as I feasibly could, which helped, but I talked for three hours straight this afternoon, which definitely didn't help. When I'm not talking and just sitting still it doesn't hurt too much, but talking makes it worse and eating is definitely unpleasant.

sssanyway. I made potato soup for supper and pureed the whole thing, and I let it cool down, and it was almost edible (it tasted really good, but I had to go slow). And I talked to Chandlord and Riturani (and Riturani's husband, mother, and child). Anika (the baby) and I ate our soups together, although hers was miso and she wasn't wearing anything below the waist, and I was just a bit more clothed (although I guess it's hard to tell on videoconference). And the conversation was a delightful way to catch up, although it would be even better if we were all in the same city and not under lockdown and able to eat dinner together.

Then I cleaned up my kitchen and read some twitter and watched the first episode of this season of Top Chef - it's all-stars, which means I'm familiar with a bunch of the chefs, and I was pretty bummed about who got sent home in the first episode. But the food looked amazing and I always enjoy watching Top Chef, so maybe this season I'll watch mostly in real time and stay caught up. A girl can dream (and a girl doesn't have anything better to do anyway).

And now it's time for bed - I'm not going to set my alarm and am just going to see how much sleep I can get. Goodnight!

would you choose water over wine

I'm in an airport hotel near SFO and I should have gone to bed awhile ago - but I survived an epic first day in California. I had to wake up at 3:30am MDT (2:30am PDT) to get ready and go to the airport, which made for a very rough day. I also didn't really sleep on the flight - I had work that absolutely had to get done, so I pumped myself full of iced coffee and worked most of the way.

So by the time I got to the office at nine (ten in BLD), I'd already been up for 6.5hrs, was running on four hours of sleep, and knew that I was in for a bit of a rough day. However, I survived my meetings, including an in-person chat with my VP (I had intended to update her on some projects, but she spent the first ten minutes checking in on my burnout levels, likely because she is v. well aware that I'm a flight risk given my previous history (and also that I've got a lot going on and may burn out). But she also knows that I just bought a house, which basically means that I've accepted the golden handcuffs, so she didn't seem too worried). And I v. fortuitously ran into Jane, of my friendship renewal crew - so we had lunch together out in the sunshine, which was delightful.

I eventually left and was reminded why I don't live here when it took an hour and a half to get to the city, where I had the option of getting one taco, from a food truck, for $6.50. I did not take that option. Instead, I ate the pizza Adit had procured - Adit (some people call him the cat), Priyanka, Vihaan, Kaaviya, Ritu (aka the master of disaster), Ritu's mom, Bill, Anika (aka brown bill), Claudia (aka Santy Claude, but only in December), Sam, Sam's sister, and Chandlord (aka Vidya) all met up at some brewery, where the kids v. much enjoyed running around while we attempted to catch up.

At 7:30 the children were kicked out of the brewery, so we ended up going back to Adit and Priyanka's, where we continued to hang out in a slightly less noisy environment with slightly more singing and much more negotiation over the sharing of toys. I'm happy to report that, nearly twenty years into knowing each other, Adit and I might be on the verge of becoming friends. And seeing this group is always a delight.

So, it was worth it that I flew in early...but tomorrow will be painful if I don't sleep right now. Goodnight!