the human touch is what i need

I had a fairly productive day, all in all, despite the fact that I woke up at four a.m. overheating and having what seemed like an anxiety fever dream (I put my heaviest comforter on my bed last night, which was a mistake, and for some reason woke up at four a.m. sweating and thinking of overdue expense reports and slides for work weirdly conflated with the fact that I haven't written a book this year or met the love of my life....this is not a good combo of thoughts to wake up to in the middle of the night, obvi).

But I managed to go back to sleep, then get up in time to run an errand this morning. After that, I went to Boxcar, where I ate lunch and had coffee while writing for an hour. Then I came home, threw in some laundry, messed around for a bit, took a brief nap, and then dragged myself back out of the house to get a mani/pedi. When that errand was accomplished, I went to the grocery store to load up on food for the week (Whole Foods was as calm as I've ever seen it - most people other than me probably still have leftovers).

Then I came home, tidied up my kitchen, put away my groceries, ate some supper, and spent the last couple of hours messing around with database software. I have a database of Regency research that I haven't really updated or used much in the last few years - I did a bunch of research for my first series, but my second series required less research (and the research I did ended up stored in Scrivener rather than in a database, which was good enough). However, I've been reading a lot of medieval history in case I ever get back into the young adult book, and that stuff could benefit from a database since it's all complex and interwoven.

So, I got my software going again (it's been so long that it wasn't even installed on my latest laptop, which is almost three years old), restored my old database, and am back in business. Yes, this was a v. fun, youthful way to spend a Saturday night. But now that I'm done with that, it's time for bed - goodnight!

the way we were before

Today was long, but somewhat rewarding - I didn't make it to the office until ten (so I missed breakfast again), but I had meetings straight from 10am to 6:30pm with v. little break. However, the breaks I did have were good - they had baked potatoes and chili as an afternoon snack, and it happened to coincide with a 'cheese-off' that a coworker had planned and that I'd helped with - I had taken two kinds of bleu cheese, and all the cheeses that people brought were v. tasty.

Anyway, having meetings last until 6:30 is fairly rare in my current situation, but that's what happened, so I was tired by the end of it. But I had dinner plans out - a couple of coworkers were visiting from other offices, so nine of us ended up at Next Door. It was quite fun, and I had a tasty salad (which I didn't even want after all the potatoes and cheese). I should probably go to other places at some point, since I've been there twice already and haven't explored nearly all the restaurants on Pearl or anywhere else in Boulder - but for tonight, it was great.

Then I came home, got ready for bed, and read for awhile - I didn't read the rest of my cracktastic fantasy book that I started the other day because I knew I would stay up too late to finish it, so instead I picked up a nonfiction book that's been sitting on my shelves forever (IRRESISTIBLE NORTH, about two Venetian brothers from the 1300s who may have sailed around the North Atlantic). It's pretty good so far, but I was falling asleep as I was reading it, so now I think it's time for bed for real. Goodnight!

god save the queen

Today got off to a v. inauspicious start - the fire alarm went off at 7:30am, right as I was waking up and debating going back to sleep and skipping the community breakfast. So I stumbled downstairs, and it was a false alarm (probably someone else's shower), but since I was already up and Michelle saw me up, I decided I should probably go to breakfast.

This was a mistake. I should have gotten more sleep instead. I probably should never have kids, since I can't seem to function on less than eight (seven at the least) hours of sleep for more than one night a week. But I showered and made it downstairs by 8:15 to meet for breakfast. It seems that most people made better decisions than I did, since it was only Michelle and this guy Edgar (don't learn his name, he's leaving tomorrow). We went to Bluebird, which I've been to a couple of times before, and it was actually lowkey and lovely, but my energy was already flagging by nine a.m.

But I'd taken my laptop with me, so I abandoned them and stopped at a cute coffeeshop called Wanted Man that I'd been wanting to try. The coffee was good and I got a juice as well - I had a horrific headache for most of the day, and I was hoping the juice would help. It didn't, but I got some writing done, so that was good.

Then I came back here and worked more of the afternoon, when I wasn't nursing my headache or eating lunch. And at four p.m. I took a twenty-minute nap, which I probably should have done at ten a.m. since it went a long way toward restoring me.

Then I threw on real clothes and went to today's exciting adventure - a semi-private tour of Buckingham Palace. I've never been since the palace is usually only open during the summer when the queen is at Balmoral, and I saw this ticket by chance a month ago and bought it. I'm so glad that I did - the tour was only thirty people, and we were guided around for an hour and a half and shown all kinds of wonderful stuff. I'm obviously a suuuuuuuper dork about all of it, both the historical stuff (the guy who collected much of the stuff in the most impressive rooms was George IV, who was better known as the Prince Regent while George III was too mad to rule, and the Regency period is named after him) and the modern stuff (when we stepped into the music room, I immediately knew it was where a bunch of royals had been baptized, because I am crazy).

Anyway, I loved every second of it - picturing both the balls and soirees of Victoria's day and the pomp and ceremony of the present, and all the history in and around the building and its contents. The tour ended with a glass of champagne, which encouraged me to buy a mug in the giftshop (it's no Starbucks mug, but I'll be drinking tea out of it for a long time anyway). No photos were allowed in the palace, so you'll just have to trust me that it was super cool.

When I was done, I took a few pictures outside as the sun was setting, and then I came back to Roam, ordered some thai food (I was starving, so I ate it all), and hung out briefly with some people who were getting ready to go out to the pubs. I, however, am taking the virtuous path and going to bed right now so that I can get lots of glorious sleep before doing lots of glorious work tomorrow. Goodnight!

what'd i miss

Today was really lovely if you ignore the fact that I have a book due very imminently. I woke up at eight, made tea, and read and journaled in bed - it felt kind of like the peace I attained at the silent retreat, and I was in a way better mood today than yesterday because of it. Or maybe I was in a better mood because the sun was out, which is always better.

So because the sun was out, I decided to go for a walk and take advantage of it. I had lunch at Muriel's, which is a brunch-y type place that I've been to a couple of times already - the people watching at the window bar is great, and today's food choice was perfect (grilled halloumi cheese, tomatoes, and poached eggs, with a side of excellent fried potatoes). Then I took the tube to the British Museum. It's free, so I felt no guilt about dipping in and out for an hour. I mostly went down the ancient Europe corridor, and was made sad by a box full of human bones, and started daydreaming about all the people who lived, died, and were buried with objects that are now on display in a way they never, ever could have imagined. I ended up in the Sutton Hoo room, with all the burial horde that was discovered in a ceremonially buried ship, and now I'm dreaming of stories that have nothing to do with the Regency...

...but I have to finish this fucking book first. So I left, and wandered toward Covent Garden - I wanted to walk through Seven Dials, which used to be one of London's most notorious slums. It's got seven streets radiating out from a central circle, with lots of little nooks and alleyways that started out posh back in the 1600s and then quickly degenerated into a nest for thieves and whores. But now it's in the heart of some prime real estate, and the alley I stumbled into was totally gorgeous - if I didn't need to write, I would have spent the rest of the afternoon drinking prosecco in the sun and watching people come and go.

But writing had to get done, so I came back to Roam and worked for a couple of hours. I should have kept working, but I'd already rsvp'd yes to community dinner, which was at Bluebird - which, it turns out, was rather posh. I liked my risotto, although it was so full of garlic that I probably won't be fit company for a day or two. And they comped us some champagne to start since Michelle (the community manager) organized it, so that was a lovely beginning.

But just as we were done, some dude showed up 2.5 hours late, and proceeded to order food, and I was beyond over it, so Jenn and I paid and left the rest of them to babysit him. And now I am going to sleep - I should write more tonight, but sleep is probably the better decision. Goodnight!

i'm smiling, she's living, she's golden

I'm sleepy and I inadvertently had more wine than I intended, and while that all ended hours ago, I think I'm going to drink a bunch more water and go to bed. Today was good, though. I spent the morning messing around, cleaning my room, and writing, as most of my mornings are usually spent. Then, in the afternoon I went to the Sir John Soane Museum for a class on making 'jasperware' jewelry.

The Soane Museum is one of my favorite museums in London - it was founded by Sir John Soane, who was a famous architect and major art/antiquities collector. His sole surviving son was a wastrel who disappointed him one too many times, so Soane got an Act of Parliament passed to disinherit his son and leave the house and all its contents to the nation, with the intent that it would be preserved in perpetuity as a museum. This probably sucked for the son, but is great for all of us, since it's an amazing example of an early 1800s townhouse (and v. much more interesting than most of them would have been anyway, since he was an architect and put in lots of clever skylights, mirrors, etc. to brighten things up, and also managed to get the massive stone sarcophagus of Pharaoh Seti I into his basement by knocking out a wall).

sssanyway. The workshop was in the basement, and there were five of us, along with the two women who worked for the Soane who were leading it. We mixed up plaster and poured them into our first molds, and while those were drying we got a short private(ish) tour of the upstairs. Today was the last day of an exhibit of Robert Adam's documents - he was the most important architect in England in the generation before Soane, and his neoclassical designs had an enormous influence on British design. I really should have gone to see this exhibit separately and spent more time in it, but it's okay that I didn't - the tour was enough to get the highlights. And I got to see bits of the museum that aren't open to the public - namely the place where Soane buried his dog and turned it into something that looked like an abbey ruin so that it would feel like the house was built on top of ruins. Ha.

We then spent the rest of the afternoon painting our creations, with a break to have prosecco. I had more prosecco then I realized, I think, and I drank my last bit quickly since we were out of time...and it hit me when I was sipping a glass of wine at a pub down the street, which was poor timing. But I had a great dinner of short ribs at the Star Tavern (which was started in the 1500s, although the building has been rebuilt). And then I came back here, passed out briefly, woke up, wrote in my journal, and then considered working but instead watched the season finale of last year's Top Chef - I'd watched the entire season while packing my apartment back in December, but with the holidays and everything I never finished it.

And now I need to sleep - I have no plans tomorrow and need to get some serious work done, and sleep will help toward that noble goal. Goodnight!

those little red panties they pass the test

Today was a pretty great day, all in all, even though I had to finally admit that I'm not done with my book and push my preorder date back, which made me sad. Not as sad as it probably should have...which gave me a vague, fleeting feeling of wondering if I really still want to be writing historical romance, since there's a lot of other stuff I'm excited about.

But I sorted everything out and made a plan to finish the book - I'm pretty close, but it's not where I want it to be and I'd rather make it right than publish early and wreck my fanbase. And I made an announcement on Facebook and also solicited reviewers and already got a bunch of replies, so I think it will all be okay in the end.

Still, it's not ideal, and I'm going to have to work pretty steadily to hit my new target. But I'm also in London and need to take advantage of my time here to learn new things and find ideas for my next series, so I took a long break this afternoon to go to the V&A Museum (one of my favorites in the world) and see their temporary exhibit on the history of undergarments. It closes on Sunday, so I bought a ticket earlier in the week to see it today so that I wouldn't put it off until the very end. I'm super glad I went - they had some cool stuff from 1700 to the present, and while I couldn't take photos, I definitely wrote almost four pages of notes from the exhibit. People really aren't all that different through the ages - we all want to feel sexy and well-groomed and fashionable, and we're willing to wear dumb things occasionally to do it (although few things were as dumb as the cage crinolines that made dresses so wide that women would sometimes catch their dresses on fire and burn to death - the Victorian version of 'on fleek' was way riskier).

So, the exhibit was great, and I have more museum plans coming soon. Then I came back to Roam, dropped off my stuff (I bought a book on historical fashion, of course), and went to the department store to buy an electric kettle. This may be dumb, but I've got another month here and there have been many mornings already when I really wanted tea as soon as I woke up but didn't want to go down two flights of stairs and interact with strangers to do it. So I bought the cheapest kettle they had, which also happens to be dual-voltage so I can take it back to the US if I want.

Then I ran a couple more errands, came back to Roam again, and ordered Thai because I was starving and couldn't be bothered to cook. The Thai delivery was pretty tasty, and I ate while talking to Michelle (the community manager) since we were both staying in tonight. Then I came upstairs and messed around online and dealt with email, more preorder stuff, etc.

But that's all I have to say - tomorrow I need to write in the morning, because I have museum plans in the afternoon. Goodnight!

offer me that deathless death

I was falling asleep moments ago, so I need to get this posted and go to bed. Today was a pretty good day for a Monday (which somehow still resonates even though I haven't had a day job that required distinguishing between weekdays and weekends in a long time). I got up, ate some cereal, worked, ate some eggs for lunch, worked some more, took a quick nap, went down the street to get a coffee to wake myself up, and worked some more.

But at 4:30ish I stopped and took the tube to the King's Cross/St Pancras area, which is home to the British Library. First, I bought a dress (Jen is coming to visit in a couple of weeks and we've booked a couple of fancy ladies' engagements, and I suddenly panicked that maybe I should have something nicer than what I've been traveling with for the last two months). Then I went to a pub called Somerstown Coffee House - it's super comfy inside, but the real draw was that I discovered, quite by accident, that they have gluten free fish and chips. Since I love fish and chips and can't usually have them anymore, I went for that, and they were delightful.

Then I went to the British Library - the real reason I went to that part of town was because I'd bought a ticket to a talk about mesmerism (hypnotism) called 'Science vs. Superstition in the Victorian Era'. I'm idly begin to look for an idea for my next series, and it might have something to do with science, so even though 1837 is a little past my time, I thought this would be interesting. And it was interesting - I'm glad I went, even if part of me was thinking about my massive to-do list rather than the equally important long-term work of learning new things...

Then I took the tube home and strolled through the darkened streets around Sloane Square while falling even more in love with London than I already was. And now I'm desperate for sleep, so I'm going to indulge - goodnight!

running through my veins an american masquerade

I'm falling asleep on my couch after falling down an interminable wikipedia rabbit hole, so I think it's time for bed. I had a lovely day, though - I had an earlyish lunch with Alyssa (remember her?) at Joanie's in Palo Alto, where we had a lateish celebration of my birthday. Then I ran some errands in Mountain View before driving up to San Mateo to write with Barbara. Three hours of work really boiled down to ninety minutes of work, since we were both distracted/talking, but I'll take it.

Unfortunately, the drive home took over an hour, which was v. unwelcome. Then I ate supper (I begin to wonder if tomatoes are the cause of some of my woes, but now's not the time to go into that), sat down to work, and spent the last four hours in some form of either work, wikipedia research, or daydreaming. So now it's time for bed, and I shall hit it again in the morning - goodnight!

hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride

I think I need to call it a night early - I didn't get nearly enough sleep after last night's drive, and the sleep I did get was fitful (the combo of sleeping in a new place + it's hard for me to sleep past eight even if I'd like to sleep until ten or eleven). Also, altitude is not my friend, and the combo of the altitude + my sugar detox seems to be totally draining.

However...despite the bleakness of all of that, today was pretty fucking great. For one, there's sun in Tahoe - lots and lots of glorious sun to help me get over the gloom of San Francisco (where it apparently only got over 70 degrees once in August, which explains a lot of my malaise). For another, while I didn't write new scenes, I had a fantastic idea for the hero...which translates into a fantastic idea for a new series. So fantastic that even Barbara was excited about it (and she doesn't get excited about historicals, for the most part).

That idea came in the shower, which is where many of my best ideas come from - so I'm glad I took a break in the middle of the day to shower, since I might not have had the idea otherwise. But I spent the rest of the day (before and after the shower) either talking to Barbara and Lisa or messing around in my journal/on my laptop while playing with the story, and I'm feeling happy about all of that. But I'm at the point now where I just need to pick a path and start writing - I have a month before I have to turn something in to my editor, and I'd rather not fuck around anymore.

So I think I'm going to play in my journal for a bit longer and then go to bed and hit it again tomorrow - goodnight!

kiss me twice

After last night's reading bender, you might have guessed that this morning did not quite go according to plan. I woke up at eight (after five hours of sleep), sulkily grabbed my eye mask, and blocked out the light so I could get another couple of hours of sleep. That meant I got up at ten, which wasn't terrible from an amount-of-sleep standpoint, but quality of sleep suffered somewhat. And, needless to say, quantity of work suffered as well.

But I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower and made myself presentable. Then I made mayonnaise, because I am clearly on a one-way trip to crazytown in the kitchen. The mayonnaise turned out perfectly from a consistency standpoint, but I need to find a lighter-flavored olive oil...but at least I know that I can make mayonnaise now, despite the repeated failures with the rouille recipe. I then used that mayonnaise to make fancy tuna salad (fancy tuna salad is exactly like my usual tuna salad, except I added some lemon juice, onion, celery, parsley, and chives since I had all that stuff on hand), which I ate like I was starving, because I was.

After that, it was time for a nap.

But I managed to sleep for less than thirty minutes this time, and then I packed up my stuff and walked down to Books Inc, where I found the second book in the series that I started last night (and I accidentally saw one line in the middle of the book that made me want to read it all immediately, but I am being good and refraining). Then I went to Philz, where I did a couple of hours of work. I'm still plotting, and still messing around with character development, and I think it might come together eventually.

Once I was done with my coffee and done with the people watching, I went to the library - I never go to the library, but I maybe should start, since it's only a couple of blocks from Philz and I'm there pretty regularly. This excursion was to get 'Lunar Men', which might be good research for some stuff related to the hero - it's about inventions and the start of the Industrial Revolution, so while it predates the time period I write in by some fifty years, that's good background for me to have. I also picked up a fantasy book while I was there, because why not.

Then I walked home, and I was starving again when I got here, so I had some salami and some leftover cheese from my Shedletsky party. Then, I cooked some stuff for tomorrow - I'm trying a sweet potato hash, and I cooked some components tonight for tomorrow's breakfast. It turned out so well that I almost ate it all tonight, but instead I had leftover thai beef, turned on the tv, and watched three episodes of an old season of 'Project Runway' while working for the past four hours. This was all admin stuff - I drafted a newsletter to send out tomorrow, and I messed around with website stuff, which I've been wasting a lot of time on for no real output yet. At some point soon I may have to decide to just hire somebody, but I'm stubbornly convinced that I can do what I need to do by myself if I just focus for a bit, so we'll see.

But now, I need to sleep (and not read) - goodnight!

sorry i'm not home right now, i'm walking into spiderwebs

I was highly productive today - expect my posts to be boring for a couple of weeks, for the most part, since I'm sinking into a productivity phase in an attempt to recover from the month of fun. That doesn't mean everything's going to be dull, since I do have some social activities coming up...but for the most part, they won't involve half a bottle of bourbon and a bunch of bad decisions. #sorrynotsorry

So anyway, I got up today and took care of tings around the house and worked for a couple of hours from the comfort of my couch. Then I ate lunch and drove to San Bruno, where I met up with Barbara and Deborah for another writing date. We met early but talked longer than we should have; we're all in the early phases of books and no one seemed all that excited to work on their stuff, but eventually we buckled down and I got a couple of solid hours of work done. I'm still not writing - I was researching the industrial revolution for most of today, and I found a couple of books that I want to read to go more in-depth on some stuff. But at this point, I'm getting close to the point where I just need to get started and trust that it will all work out in the end...even though it's hard to trust that, for some reason, despite the fact that I've now pulled it off six times and will undoubtedly pull it off again.

By 4:30 or so I was done, so I parted ways with Barbara (Deb had left earlier), ran a couple of errands around there since they were easier to do in the south bay than the city, and came home. Once I got here, I ate some leftover Indian takeout and spent the rest of the night holed up on my couch watching Olympics and doing some intensive meal-planning - I want to eat more cleanly for the next couple of months (read: less alcohol, no sugar, cut back on all the weird grains that I eat in an attempt to make up for my gluten loss), but that requires stocking up on totally different things and perhaps trying some new recipes (which should be fun, since I like cooking). So I made a list of things that I need, and I intend to go to the grocery store at a point tomorrow where traffic + parking aren't bad (which is a miraculous, rarely-discovered combo) - normally I walk to the store, but this trip is too intensive for that.

But now I'm desperate for sleep, and I need to write for a few hours tomorrow before I get distracted by food + homemaking like I've been for the past few days...goodnight!

you'd still enjoy it with your foot on masada

Okay, today was really long, but I got a lot of stuff done that I had intended to get done, so I feel good about that. I didn't get up until 9:30 since I went to bed so stupidly late last night (a feat I'm on track to repeat tonight), but then I cleared things off my table and took care of things in the kitchen so that I could start working by 11. And I actually worked for several hours (four-ish, which is less than I need to work but more than I've worked on a book since finishing the last one) - most of it was research, along with some daydreaming, but I think I'm tiptoeing toward a viable plot and am nearly ready to begin writing in earnest.

But then I took a break to go to Staples to buy markers (so very necessary, because I only have like a hundred markers), and also to a hardware store to buy some supplies for a home project. Then I came home, turned on the Olympics (last night's coverage, then tonight's coverage), and did three loads of laundry, ordered Indian takeout (I look like such a poser with mehndi on my hands and a bag full of butter chicken), and organized all of my jewelry (verdict: I have too much stuff, but I always want more) while watching. I also put away the rest of the stuff that I'd dumped in my apartment after coming back from the wedding - I have more stuff than I had when I left, which is unfortunate since my place is too small for more stuff, but I'll deal with that later.

Then I continued to watch the Olympics while working on my secret home project for awhile - we'll see whether it comes to fruition. But it's suddenly almost one a.m., and I have stuff to do in the morning before another writing date with Barbara and Deborah, so I should sleep and prep for that. But at least I'm not Ryan Lochte (or, worse, one of the swimmers he was with who didn't make it out of Brazil in time - lolololol). Goodnight!

the bombs bursting in air

Today was a lovely mix of work, fun, and olympics - if only all days could be this gorgeous. I woke up around 7:30, messed around the apartment and did some cleaning, and then made it to Philz by nine, where I worked for a couple of hours. I didn't write anything, but I started reading a fascinating book called 'Green Retreats', about women's relationships to gardens and gardening in eighteenth century Britain. I only made it through the introduction, and I'm looking forward to reading the other sections (each section is about a different gardener - mostly rich women who also had time to write journals/correspondence, so obviously a lot of women have been erased from the historical record entirely). It's much more of a sociological study than it is about gardens themselves so far, but it's giving me a lot of ideas about Lucy's character and what might have mattered to her.

So that was great, and I didn't really want to leave - I probably could have gotten another coffee, and then had lunch at some comfy place nearby, and been quite content to read all day. But I had to meet up with Bill and Ritu, who have arrived to prepare for their nuptials (which they claim are still happening). They got to my place and dragged all their luggage up here, and then we walked down to Arlequin and had lunch and wine in the sun (the wine shouldn't be a surprise, since that's what we do together). Then they went to City Hall to get their marriage license, and I came home and took care of some tings.

When they were done with that, we dragged all their stuff back downstairs and took it to the airbnb where Ritu and her family are staying this week. It's a lovely house, and hopefully everything is smooth this week. We also tasted some riesling for the wedding (which I've apparently had for days - it was shipped to me by the venue so that they could taste it today and make a decision).

Then, Bill and I came back to my place (he's staying here for one night only before picking up his family tomorrow and checking in to a hotel), and I set up my new gadget - I realized yesterday that my livestream of the Olympics was skipping really badly on the Chromecast, but wasn't skipping much at all on my laptop, so decided that maybe the issue was the Chromecast (which is several years old at this point). So I ordered a Roku Stick ($50) on Amazon, and somehow got free one-day shipping, so it was here this afternoon.

It turns out to be a great decision - my livestream hasn't skipped at all tonight, and the quality is way better than the Chromecast was (close to HD). It also has its own remote and on-screen interface, so after I was done setting it up, I don't need to use my laptop or phone to stream. It still needs a cable subscription for most of the apps to work properly, but it's slick enough that I'm happy with it as-is and probably won't bother hooking up real tv at this point.

So needless to say, as soon as I was on my couch and ready to watch Olympics, I didn't leave it. I had tried to watch men's gymnastics before Ritu and Bill arrived, but when I tried to finish watching it this afternoon (while Ritu and Bill were at the courthouse), the results were spoiled by the app, so I gave up. After Bill left, I ate supper (leftover pasta, yum) and took a nap, and then I watched the full evening coverage (still ongoing) while answering a bunch of emails, taking care of my face via mud masks, etc. My favorite moment, of course, was Michael Phelps' death stare, but it was all fun - and I'm going to have to pack in as many livestreams as possible over the next two weeks now that my devices are all working properly.

But now, I need to get some sleep - I have to do some grooming/shopping activities for the wedding tomorrow, and I have dinner plans, and I need to keep reading about gardening and also watching Olympics (women's gymnastics!). Goodnight!

taffy stuck and tongue tied

I once again didn't get enough done today, but I'm still going to chalk it up as a win. When I woke up this morning, I had to scurry around like a crazy woman to get ready for someone to come and clean my apartment - yes, I cleaned before the cleaning. But there were things I needed to put away and tidy and straighten to make the cleaning as effective as possible. And while it felt indulgent to pay someone to clean a studio, which I am typically capable of keeping clean myself, I'm glad that I did - since I've been gone so much, it was descending into filth (the wampdevils were in danger of consuming the bathroom floor entirely), and my stomach woes make me unfit for cleaning.

So anyway, the person I hired showed up at 9:30, and he did a pretty good job - his vacuuming was perhaps less thorough than mine would have been, but since I despise vacuuming, I'll take it. While he was cleaning, I took care of some other things around the apartment, and also sent some emails, and made some lists, and generally tried to organize myself for the many other tasks ahead.

As soon as he was gone, I gathered my things and drove down to San Mateo. I had a writing date with Barbara, but I went early to eat a salad at Specialtys (which made my stomach hurt) and go to Target to buy some household tings (which I would have had delivered, but Google Express couldn't deliver anytime in the next two-three days, which is *not* the definition of Express). Then I met Barbara and worked for a couple of hours - I didn't produce many real words because I went down a rabbit-hole of trying to find a name for the hero, and then I realized that I may want a different kind of name entirely because he may be the rougher, more self-made sort, so perhaps all of this was for naught.

sssanyway. Around 4:30 I parted ways with Barbara, who will be in Hawaii for the next week, so there will be no more writing dates (not that there would have anyway, since I'll be consumed with wedding stuff). Then I went to Diddams and got some party stuff. And then I spent an hour driving home, which got on my nerves....

...so when I got here, rather than cleaning things or organizing things or doing the million things on my to-do list, I ate some leftover pizza and spent a couple of glorious hours reading 'A Natural History of English Gardening: 1650-1800'. Yes, I understand that you may not find this glorious. And, to be fair, I'm not entirely in love - the guy is entirely too wordy for the points he's attempting to make in some places. But the book itself is gorgeous - well-suited for a coffee table, and he did some beautiful illustrations, and the research is interesting. It also pointed me toward a book about women and gardening that I think will be far more useful for the purpose of Lucy's story, so maybe I'll read that in my off-time tomorrow.

But there shouldn't be much off-time tomorrow - I *must* go grocery shopping in the morning, and bake some cakes, and get some liquor, and do some laundry, and generally do the things I should have done tonight. So sleeping now would be a good idea - goodnight!

the slow hum

I'm about to collapse from exhaustion (all mental/emotional, as it always is at this stage in the writing), so you're getting v. little from me tonight. I didn't write as many words/revise as many scenes as I had hoped today, but I had some startling insights/flashes of inspiration regarding the ending, and now I need to spend tomorrow going back through the whole thing and figuring out what's working and what's not and what I can fix in time to send it to my editor tomorrow night (which will likely be the wee, wee hours of Thursday morning).

So, needless to say, I was a hermit today. And I spent way too long digging into Wikipedia - once I start looking into a minor detail around whether characters could go to Italy in 1813 (they likely couldn't - most of Italy was theoretically free but actually under the control of Napoleon, and Napoleon and Britain were obvi at war), I only emerge from Wikipedia hours later, when I'm thirsty/hungry/unable to see straight.

But I did shower, put on something cute, put on red lipstick to complete the illusion of grown-up competence, and walk over to Fillmore, where I had a v. late lunch at Grove and drank a glass of subpar rosé while working for a couple of hours (seeing other people in the wild is always stimulating). Then I came home, did some laundry, talked to Terry about my upcoming NYC trip, and generally messed around on wikipedia before getting back into the story.

So that's all I've got for you. Never fear, the next couple of weeks are going to get way more interesting - I leave Thursday night on a redeye bound for Boston, where I shall spend the weekend with Ritu and Bill, and if you've read my blog at all this winter, you know how wonderful/terrible Ritu is for my liver and my fun-factor. So that will be a good break, but I need to earn it by going to bed now and writing like mad tomorrow -- goodnight!

some love is just a lie of the heart

Today was the first day this year in which I didn't leave my apartment building at all (this is a true statement: I verified with a combo of my calendar + my blog). So my reputation as a hermit may be of long standing, given that in the past I have been a hermit - but clearly I am failing in my hermity ways at the moment.

However, even though I didn't leave my apartment building, I did spend most of the day outside, and it was *glorious*. It was gorgeous in SF - one of those rare warm, sunny days with minimal wind, when living in a building with a pool is actually useful. So I woke up, messed around, ate some breakfast, put on a swimsuit and sunscreen, and then laid out by the pool from eleven to three. I spent the first hour plotting and scheming, and then I took a brief nap. Then I ran back into my apartment to make some iced coffee, and then I spent a couple of hours rereading part of a book called 'Courtesans: Money, Sex, and Fame in the Nineteenth Century'. I read it several years ago when I was researching Ellie and Nick's story, even though Ellie wasn't really a courtesan (she was a widow, which is a totally different ballgame). But Octavia technically is a courtesan, and I was in the mood to reread parts of it to get into the proper frame of mind. The history of all of that stuff is fascinating...but I shall spare you the details, since you don't care and I need to go to bed anyway.

By 3pm, the sun had disappeared from my side of the pool, so I came upstairs, took care of a couple of things, and then sat on my terrace and soaked up some more sun while talking to my parents. They were their usual selves, but my dad's one attempt at an inappropriate joke was blocked out by a fortuitous signal loss, so that was great.

Then, I probably should have written Rafe and Octavia....but the sun was still so lovely, in a way that I probably won't get again for awhile, and I was feeling contemplative about my spinster honeymoon project. So I poured a glass of rosé and sat on the terrace until sometime after six, and I wrote three pages of notes for that project. It's weird to be contemplating something new - I have no idea who the characters are, or how to structure it, or what the story is. But I have a lot of snippets of dialogue and scene and feeling, and I'll have to trust, at some point, that there will be a book there.

At that point, I really should have written Rafe and Octavia...but I decided to give in fully to my spinster honeymoon desires instead. So I ate the last bits of my leftover pasta, poured another glass of rosé, and watched 'Trainwreck' instead. It is definitely research for Spinster Honeymoon (and I shall write it off on my taxes, I assure you) - I thought the pacing was just a bit uneven, and there was way more LeBron James than I had realized there would be. But it was funny and heartfelt and an interesting play on some familiar tropes, and I enjoyed it quite a bit.

But my day in the sun + my day as a hermit has come to an end, and I must go to bed so that I can pursue my plan of getting up early and attempting to reform my habits starting tomorrow morning. I only have a few hours to write before I must go to the south bay for other activities, so I need to make it happen. Goodnight!

blood sticks, sweat drips, break the lock if it don't fit

My morning went almost exactly as intended...I woke up pretty early, made tea, and worked for a solid 2-2.5 hours before going down to the south bay to see Alyssa. The sun was coming up as I dove into the story, and I finally have my workspace situated to make me comfortable (even if I'm mildly embarrassed that I turned thirty-four and bought what is effectively a cushion for old people with coccyx injuries...but the cushion raised me up three inches, which is enough to get me at the right ergonomic position, so I'm going to have to live with the shame). So I sipped tea, wrote some pages, and then lost myself in a rabbit hole of research into Palladian architecture so I could figure out what rooms Rafe and Octavia might be getting up to some shenanigans in during the coming chapters.

However, I had to throw in the towel earlier than I wanted so that I could go to the south bay. I've been ruminating over my schedule for awhile, and as it has become clear that mornings are my best writing time, I've become increasingly loath to schedule anything before 1pm...which has made balancing my desire to see Alyssa against my desire to write a fucking book (and then many more books after this one) tres difficile. Sooooo....

Alyssa and I are taking a break. My personal intention is that we'll still do some form of coaching, more remotely, with fewer days required for me to drive to the south bay...I definitely don't want to stop working out or doing things that make me feel healthy, etc. But where it made sense to pay a trainer to force me to work out when I had two jobs (and would realistically not have made time for the gym on top of everything else when I was so focused on writing before work), it seems to me that I don't need the forcing mechanism...and if I can't motivate myself to go to the gym with my current schedule, I'm kind of wasting my time/money by paying a trainer. I might have felt differently if she were in the city, but it's hard to waste three or four (or more) of the best hours of my day twice a week when I really need to be focused on the books.

So, we had a long talk about all of this, and discussed taking a break so I could reflect on what I want from our next steps + she can figure out what she thinks she can offer me. That resulted in a very abbreviated workout at the end of the session, and an intent to go back on Wednesday to talk some more and do another workout before taking a three-week (or so) break. That's probably good timing since I need to finish this book, etc., but still...I love Alyssa, and I'm sad to pause things even though I think it's the right decision.

Anyway, after that I showered and went to my former place of employment, where I had a v. long, leisurely lunch with Heather (aka dear respected madam). We caught up on all sorts of ridiculous things while eating a relatively tasty lunch, and it was good to see her even if I've gone back to campus / talked to former coworkers an embarrassing number of times in the last couple of weeks. However, Heather was a coworker so long ago that I don't think it counts anymore, so I'm not going to sweat it.

I left her in time to beat the worst of the traffic home, but when I got here I was sleepy and vaguely hangry, so I ordered an early dinner and took a nap like the coccyx-cushion-using octogenarian that I am. And then I spent most of the evening working - no new words, but a lot of stuff for business-related activities + some continued research into British architecture. I know, my life is glamorous.

And now I must sleep so I can get up early and repeat the morning feat before getting embroiled in some ridiculousness tomorrow afternoon...goodnight!

nothing lasts forever...but the sound of love astounds me every time that it calls

I had meant to go to bed super early tonight to make up for last night's debauchery, but I sabotaged myself by reading a book instead. C'est la vie...it wasn't the worst choice I could have made, I suppose. I was pretty lazy this morning (see: last night's debauchery), but I eventually wandered to my old neighborhood and had a late breakfast at Tony's cafe. It was good to see him; he showed me pictures of the vacation he and his family took this week, which were cute enough to make me forgive him for being closed when I wanted breakfast there on Thursday. Then I was going to go to the gym, but I hung out for an hour writing first, and by the time it was time to work out, I wasn't feeling it.

So I came home, ate a snack, took a nap, showered, and went to Philz, where I spent a couple of hours continuing to read the book about satire in seventeenth century London (riveting!). I read it for another hour when I came home, but at that point I needed to take a break from such a stimulating subject (and from staring at pages). So I straightened up my apartment, made a sandwich, ate the sandwich, painted my nails, and then read some filthy vampire erotica to make up for my studiousness.

But now that the illicit fireworks finally seem to have died down outside, I'm going to sleep and hope that I restore myself so that I can write tomorrow - goodnight!

the dream maker's gonna make you mad

I was highly productive today, which felt awesome (even though my eyeballs would like to fall out of my skull and surrender). I didn't get to the cafe quite as early as I intended, but I was still there by 8:15ish, which was early enough to verify that my possibly-adulterous lovebirds were back and making out in the upstairs corner table. It was also early enough that I was able to get in three hours of work/writing/brainstorming before coming home and making some eggs to sustain myself with.

After I ate, I took a brief nap (this is the best part of being self-employed), and then I spent the afternoon/early evening alternating between researching/reading on my couch and at Philz. I started reading a fascinating book on magic in the middle ages (called "Magic in the Middle Ages", of course), and the relationship between magic and religion, which is giving me some great ideas for the young adult books. I didn't do any actual writing today, but I was thinking hard about the rules of the world, how magic works, what their limits are, etc.

I also happened to come up with a great idea for Rafe's story while I was at it - I'm not quite unblocked there, and I have some reading/research to do to see if it will work, but I'm tentatively excited about it again. And I'm curious to see whether hopping back and forth between Regency and fantasy young adult will actually be good for me, or whether it's an exercise in total madness.

However, not everything went swimmingly - my car battery is dead, which is a most unwelcome discovery and means I probably won't go to Palo Alto to train with Alyssa tomorrow. However, at least I discovered this tonight when I went to get something out of my trunk, rather than tomorrow when I was trying to drive to Palo Alto. Other than that, though, the day was good, and I hope to make similar progress (but hopefully with a bit more original writing) tomorrow.

But progress tomorrow requires sleep tonight, and sleep requires that I stop staring at a screen for at least the next half-hour, so goodnight!

you got me begging for thread

Today was v. similar to yesterday, all things considered. I left the apartment by 6:20, and so I was able to squeeze in forty minutes of coffee drinking / brainstorming (the priority of those should have been reversed, but Rafe and Octavia are in early days and I'm still totally lost as to what to do with them) before beginning my meetings for the day. I had quite a few of them, but not so many that I couldn't catch up on email while hanging out in the couch area. And while I'm only two days into the new year, they were two better days in a row than I had in most of November/December, so I'll take them.

But maybe they were better because I left again at ~4:30 and spent the evening being pretty quiet and hermity. I got home a little before six, and I intended to look up books about Napoleonic spies, but I got sidetracked by looking at flights to India and Tokyo - it looks like I might have to go to India/Tokyo for ten days, leaving approximately four days after I get back from spending a week in NYC in February, which pretty much screws my whole vow to travel less in 2015 since I'm going to be out of commission for most of February. Lol.

sssanyway, I didn't really care that much about booking a flight tonight, so I abandoned my laptop and grabbed dinner while reading a bit about the French/British/Spanish/Portuguese battles in the Iberian Peninsula in 1807(ish). But the book I'm reading is too heavy on battle tactics and too sparse on high jinks, and it's high jinks that might inspire me for Rafe's character rather than tales of incompetent generals ordering suicide charges up steep ravines. So I tried to find more books about spies and drew a big blank. This might require some quality time at Stanford library in the next couple of weeks, if I can coerce myself into spending an evening there when all I want to do is go to bed early.

Speaking of, I need to go to bed right now so I can repeat these wondrous feats tomorrow - goodnight!