finished symphony

I had another great day in Boulder - the new year is off to a great start if you ignore the day job, which I've successfully done so far. I woke up in time to trim my bangs, shower, and throw together a frittata before John, Jess, and Ian came over for breakfast. The frittata turned out v. tasty, as usual, and I also had a bunch of berries (which was key since that's mostly what Ian wanted, although that turned into him force feeding them to John). Ian ran around my house a bit after, disappearing upstairs for a minute and then yelling down the stairs, "Auntie Wamp, can I play with this?" Since it turned out that 'this' was my rotary cutter, which was possibly the most dangerous thing he could have found in my house with only thirty seconds of searching, we decided that he could not play with it.

But despite my cold-hearted denial of his desire to play with my rotary cutter, we had a good morning. John and Ian went to a park, and Jess and I went to do the free tour at the Celestial Seasonings plant, which is based in Boulder. I don't drink much Celestial Seasonings because almost  all of their 'teas' are herbal infusions (no tea), or tea that has been overly flavored for my tastes - I mostly likely my tea without any flavors, unless it's a nice Earl Grey. But the tour was pretty interesting - they produce something like 1.6 billion bags of 'tea' a year, so the factory was cool.

After that, Jess and I grabbed a quick lunch at Boxcar, and then she went back to their hotel and I came home, napped, and journaled/wrote in the afternoon. We were supposed to rendezvous at Pizzeria Locale at 5:30...but at five, I idly wondered why I hadn't gotten a confirmation today, and then discovered it's because I'd made the reservation for next Saturday. Extreme rookie move. So I dashed over there without much hope, since it's v. hard to get a table there on weekends. I put my name in and they said they'd probably be able to seat us at the pizza bar around the same time as my original reservation, but that a table would be a two hour wait. Resigned to fate, I got a glass of wine - but also chatted up the staff whom I've befriended there, and suddenly a table appeared. We had to vacate it by seven, but that was more than doable - and I was pretty happy that I would be able to show my friends the full Pizzeria Locale experience (although my actual Pizzeria Locale experience is usually drinking three glasses of wine and reading a book at the bar, but this was acceptable too).

John/Jess/Ian arrived just after I scored the table, and we ordered some v. tasty stuff - the pizza that I usually get (a spicy pepperoni-type pizza), along with a pear pizza that Jess chose (delicious!), and some broccolini that was insanely good. We also got the little arancini balls to start, which I loved, and the whole meal was just about perfect. After, we took Ian out to 'hit the town' (it's super cute when he says it), but he wasn't as in the mood for another bar as we were, so we went back to the hotel and hung out in their room until it was time to say our goodbyes.

And now I should sleep - it's back to the usual grind tomorrow, since they're leaving super early and I have a bunch of stuff to do in preparation for the week/month ahead. Goodnight!

i been up all night, no sleep

I need to go to bed immediately - happily, it's my bed in Boulder for the next few days, not a bed in some other city (aka the city I actually had a bed in for ten years). I woke up this morning at 5:30am after less than six hours of sleep, which was a v. unwelcome start to the day - but I made it to the airport in time to have my favorite Mexican breakfast, so I guess it was okay. I spent the first part of the flight sleeping and the second part working, as per usual. When I got to Denver, I grabbed a coffee to keep me going, and then drove to the office, where I made it with two minutes to spare for a meeting (yes, that felt v. jetsetter; no, my life really isn't very glamorous).

But I only had one meeting, and then I promptly left the office to go to a team offsite. There are only five of us in Boulder right now, so it was the perfect-sized cozy group to go out for high tea. We went to the Boulder Teahouse, which was, oddly enough, built in Tajikistan, disassembled there, shipped here, and reassembled - which made for a really interesting space. The food, though, was all traditional British teastuffs (although they had a v. excellent chai). The gluten free options were pretty decent, and the company was great (made even more great by a glass of sparkling wine, of course). It was a really fun way to spend a couple of hours, and definitely far more relaxing than spending the rest of the afternoon in meetings.

After that, I wandered around Pearl Street for awhile - I verified that there is a paper/pen/ink store here that is more than qualified to fill my needs (but I didn't buy anything, which is so shocking that I have to point it out). I did, however, buy overpriced mittens that are more suited for skiiers than jetsetters - my body is not ready for these below-freezing temperatures. And then I came home, turned the heat up (it was set to 58 and it was actually 58 when I walked in, which is different than past trips, where it warmed up enough during the day to prevent such shenanigans), huddled under a blanket while waiting for the heat to kick in, and inadvertently took a nap.

But eventually I had to do some work, so I did, and now I'm realizing I should have gone to bed an hour ago. "Should Have Gone To Bed An Hour Ago: The Sara Wampler Story" is probably the name of my memoir. Goodnight!

hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies

Today felt like two days in one. I spent most of the morning overindulging in social media and schadenfreude, just like the good old days when I had a home and nowhere pressing to be. But I had to rally eventually so that I could meet Katie for lunch - there are a bunch of great food trucks that set up shop downtown during the summer months, so she suggested that we meet James there. However, her coworkers all decided to come as well, which made for a v. different, entertaining-in-a-bizarre-way vibe. I think I liked them all, but one of them managed to power through all the worst questions I get as a writer in the shortest amount of time possible (1. do you sell enough to make a living? 2. how many copies have you sold? 3. [insert somewhat condescending commentary on bodice rippers] 4. how did you start writing - but really, how did you *actually* start writing?). She obviously didn't mean any harm and was actually interested, so I didn't take offense, but it was a reminder that at some point in the future I need to develop a compellingly uncompelling version of my life so that I don't have to answer questions about writing....

But that's an extreme #firstworldproblem, especially since I'm lucky to be able to make a living from writing, so I'll suck it up and move on. Lunch was really great, all in all - it was warm out, I liked the people, Katie is always lovely, and my food was good. I picked some bison from an American Indian food truck - it was supposed to come on frybread, which probably would have made it spectacular, but I can't have frybread, so the wild rice substitute had to suffice. The bison was delish, though - braised and shredded, with cheese and sour cream and a tasty corn salsa. But there were a lot of other trucks that looked wonderful as well. Clearly this is another area in which Denver is more than capable of meeting my needs.

When we were done with lunch, I drove to Platform T and worked all afternoon - first with an iced tea, then with a cold brew iced coffee. The writing went kind of well, although I was having doubts today...but that's standard at this point, so just ignore my whining. Then I came home and talked to [censored], since I wanted to hear about his first [censored] and his new [censored] and all the other developments in his new [censored]. After that, I ate dinner (leftover beef tacos), turned on the tv, and watched like five episodes of an old season of Top Chef while answering emails that were almost as old. I am really not good at email, but you all know that, right?

And now I must sleep and hope no distracting news breaks overnight since I want to write tomorrow - goodnight!

i ain't giving you a dollar

I think it's time for bed - I spent all day replenishing my introvert reserves, but now it's important to sleep so that I can pour my reserves into my writing tomorrow. Today started off early - I woke up at six so that I could get ready and take Aunt B to the airport so that she could catch a flight back to the city of corn (aka Des Moines). We said our farewells at the airport, and then I drove into Denver to pursue a day of solitude and preparation...

First up, I desperately needed breakfast. I found a place called Wild Eggs - it was more fast-casual than I was expecting (although that's not the right term, since there was a wait staff, but it felt like some weird amalgamation of fast-cazh, diner, and bistro based on the menu/prices/ambience). My food was good, but not great, but good enough that I left happy.

Then I found a tea and coffee place nearby that made me SUPER HAPPY - Platform T has a lot of delish teas (including the cold brew Earl Grey iced tea I had), and lots of coffees, and an interesting-looking food menu. I predict several visits to this place in the near future, since I'm a ten minute walk from it. I journaled there for an hour or two, and was quite content to just stay there...

...but at some point I had to vacate so that I could check into my airbnb. I got a one-bedroom this week so that I can hunker down and work and occasionally not wear pants (okay, the biggest motivation is that I'm tired of wearing pants). The place is super cute, and it's in a neighborhood that I'm checking out as a possible move location...so far so good.

After I checked in, I ran a couple of errands, including a trip to Whole Foods. I realized tonight that I don't think I've cooked dinner for myself since sometime in London, which was three months ago. I've helped other people cook, and I've watched other people cook, and I've made a lot of scrambled eggs/omelettes/avocado toast...but it's no wonder I'm feeling a) in need of some hermit time and b) kind of gross and unhealthy since I'm eating a strange combo of things all the time.

So, I bought groceries, then came back and called my parents (they're good, thanks for asking!). Then I went to Target to buy food storage containers, since there aren't any in this place and I wanted to prep stuff for the week. Then I came back and made a taco salad, which was super tasty if I do say so myself. It's a good thing I thought it was tasty, since there's enough for three more meals...

And then I finished unpacking, and now I'm going to go to bed oddly early in hopes of getting up tomorrow and hitting the words fresh. Goodnight!

champagne wishes and caviar dreams

My body is rebelling against all the food and champagne I forced into it today, and the especially cruel double whammy of making it walk for hours in between food/champagne stops. But today was a lovely day in London town. I woke up in time to shower before writing for half an hour in the early morning hours (where 'early' equals '9am'), which was v. necessary. Then I walked over to South Kensington to meet Jen so that I could show her my favorite haunts.

We started with brunch at Muriel's - the wait wasn't bad, and my halloumi and poached eggs (the same dish I had earlier this week) was perfect. Then we ended up going to the V&A Museum quite by accident, where Jen got a v. oddly specific tour from me (and by that I mean that whenever we saw something I knew something about, I told her about it - this mostly means anything between 1790 and 1820). We saw some highly enjoyable fashion stuff, and some delightful furnishings/gold/decorative stuff, and then ended up trapped in an odd assortment of rooms related to theatrical productions that had a lot of creepy costumes and many blocked exits. #donotlike

So we left the museum and stopped by Roam so that Jen could see where I live (verdict: she liked it but we're both glad Google is paying for a hotel for her). Then we wandered up and down Kings Road for a couple of hours, doing some desultory shopping - of course, she's the one who wanted to shop and I'm the one who ended up buying boots. That's the story of my life, so #noregrets.

Then we took the tube one stop to Victoria, and we decided we were both too exhausted to walk for another hour, so I took one for the team and had a glass of champagne (real champagne! veuve clicquot!) so that we could sit at a bar for an hour. We then proceeded to the main event: high tea at the Goring Hotel.

The Goring Hotel, as I'm sure all of you know, is where the Duchess of Cambridge (née Kate Middleton) and her family stayed in the days leading up to her wedding back in 2011 (what, you didn't all know that?). It was also a favorite hangout of the Queen Mother, and the current queen still goes there on occasion. More importantly, I'd read that they have one of the best gluten-free high teas in London. So when I found out Jen was coming, I promptly made a reservation - and I have to say that it was spectacular.

My gluten-free tea was just as impressive as hers, which is a rare feat. We had four finger sandwiches - my favorites were the curried chicken salad and the salmon, but the cheese sandwich and the roast beef were lovely too. There were two scones apiece, and they were perfect - both on their own and as a vehicle for delivering as much devonshire cream and jam into my mouth as possible. And the desserts on top were too much - I didn't actually finish mine, since there were five apiece, but the macaroon was great and I adored the chocolate/coffee cake.

We also had two glasses of champagne there (real champagne again), so I was feeling very full and mildly tipsy by the end. We were both basically falling asleep at this point, which made for a low-energy goodbye - but I'll see Jen again this week, either for something impromptu or for the dinner we've reserved for Friday night.

I then came home, took a nap, messed around online because I'm too tired to think, and now need to sleep for real - goodnight!

your eyes keep on shifting to the boys that don't matter

Today was pretty great, all in all. I totally didn't hold to the plan I'd made for myself for today, mostly because it involved getting up at 6:30am and I instead turned off my alarm and slept until almost nine. Oops.

But I eventually got up, showered, went downstairs, spent some leisurely time making tea in the kitchen while talking to Michelle and Jenn, and eventually got to work. I took a very long break at noon, though, to talk to Sarah (the friend I made in Bali) - we had a video chat for almost two hours, thus confirming that we're more than just summer friends. We're making tentative plans to hang out and work someplace together for a month this summer, which would be awesome - it would give me a chance to go someplace where I don't necessarily know anyone, since I would have some social outlet with her built in. So, we'll see if that happens, but I'm crossing my fingers...my summer could be quite delightful if some of the things that are currently in the works fall into place.

Then I was going to write some more, but it was a gorgeous day today, so I decided to go for a walk. I ended up going to the Temple Church, which I've been to before; it was the home of the Knights Templar way back in the day, before they were disbanded in the 1300s for heresy (aka getting too rich and powerful), and is now the main chapel of a couple of the Inns of Court. I wasn't planning to go in since I'd been there before, but there was an exhibit on the contribution of various Inns of Court members during World War I (spoiler: a whole bunch of them died, which was true of so much of England). So I went in, and it was all pretty fascinating stuff.

Then I walked back along the Thames for awhile, although I eventually decided that I would be better served by writing my fucking book than I would be by exploring more. So I headed back to my neighborhood, with a stop at lululemon to buy a sweatshirt (I should have brought a hoodie with me, and I'm tired of regretting almost every day that I don't have one) and a stop at a tea shop to buy more loose leaf tea, since I'm drinking tea like a fiend here. Then I went to Good Life and had a cappuccino and a muffin, thinking that would fuel me for writing...

But then I talked to Katie for an hour, which was way better than writing. She'd gone to Mexico for a few days on vacation, so we talked about that + how hard the reentry to work is after a trip to Mexico. After we got off the phone, I messed around online, then went downstairs to reheat last night's Lebanese food for dinner - but the only other person in the kitchen was someone I'm quickly growing to dislike excessively, so I only ate half my dinner since I didn't want to sit around and heat up/eat the other half while she was there. Yes, going to bed hangry is only punishing myself, but you know how I roll.

However, despite that setback, I still managed to get some good writing done tonight to make up for my afternoon break. And now I'm going to sleep, and aim toward making tomorrow fit my intended schedule better - goodnight!

lenny bruce is not afraid

My move is coming all too quickly, but I spent most of today spending time with important people rather than packing - which was the right decision for my heart responsibilities, and the wrong decision for my more prosaic move-related responsibilities. #noregrets

This morning I had to scurry around like mad and get out of the house early (but not early enough - I was half an hour late). I went over to Berkeley to see John and Jess - I wanted to make sure we got some quality time before I left. We were originally planning to go to Saul's for our usual breakfast, but they suggested that I come over to their house instead - which was perfect, since we were able to hang out for three hours, and they could let Ian sleep for most of it instead of going out into the rain.

So, it was great to see them; they made me a delicious breakfast (that looked suspicious like brunch, since we ate at 10:30 and John and I had mimosas, but Jess doesn't like eating brunch, so let's call it breakfast). John made homemade tortillas, and Jess poached some eggs, and there were delicious black beans and cheese and salsa and avocado, and some v. strong coffee to wake me up. Ian woke up about an hour before I needed to leave, so we kept talking while playing with him - he's possibly one of the cutest babies ever (no joke), so I enjoyed making silly faces at him while Jess kept telling him that my name is 'Auntie Wamp'.

But I had to leave there around 12:45 to make my next stop in my grand tour of the bay - this time, I had to go to Los Altos to have high tea with Jen and Joann (of spinster honeymoon fame). It was delightful to see them as well - tea was v. necessary given the weather, although I think that more of the food there was prepackaged than I would have preferred (but I've been snobby about food recently since I've been watching Top Chef). But we had a delightful conversation as well, so it was worth driving down for.

Then I came home, and traffic actually wasn't that bad all the way up to the city, until I made a critical error and turned onto a street that was closed a block up, and the only choice was to take a detour that cost me twenty minutes to go a mile. I was feeling nostalgic and bittersweet after spending the day with my friends, but that little interlude trying to get home erased all sweetness and reminded me that I need to get the fuck out of the city. So I came home, ordered thai food, watched an episode of Top Chef, talked to my doorman about guns for awhile, and cleared out my bathroom closet and packed up some of my clothes. There's still tons to do, of course, but I'm making progress.

But now I desperately need to take advantage of my bed while I still have it - goodnight!

i've been downhearted baby ever since the day we met

I'm dreaming again of far-flung lands and parts unknown...and that could probably be the beginning and the end of this blog post, since there's no reason to say anything else because I've made no decisions (and also because I had told myself I wasn't allowed to make any decisions until I finish this fucking book, which is not tonight). But there are a lot of things I want to do this year (mostly telling stories, but also finding places that are conducive to the telling of those stories). So, I'll try to stop teasing you and save further posts until I've made some decisions (which shouldn't be until May - so if I make a decision before then, tell me to stop procrastinating on the writing and get some actual work done).

sssanyway. I didn't get any writing done today, but I took care of a variety of other things. I also made myself a gigantic cobb salad for lunch, which required cooking chicken and boiling eggs, but now I have stuff for lunch for the next few days, so that's pretty winning. I also introduced my parents to the joys of cobb salad, which went over much better than my attempt to convert them to risotto several years ago, so perhaps someday I'll convince them that I'm a decent cook.

Eventually, I absconded with my mom's car and went into town to see Lorena, who is technically our neighbor (she and Ross own the land across from us, although they live in town). Her grandson Duncan was visiting, and the three of us spent three hours talking about a variety of writing-related topics over tea and chocolate - he's starting a business to record peoples' histories and turn them into memoirs, which I found pretty interesting, and he wanted to talk about my publishing experience, etc. So it was all quite delightful, although I am beginning to wonder if thirty-four is officially the age at which newish college grads begin to sound like young whippersnappers - he's so full of excitement and passion for his venture, while I am a withered old hag.

Okay, so that's an extreme overstatement - I am not withered, thanks mostly to moisturizers, nor am I that old (although I am perhaps a hag, but only on my sarcastic surface - I think I still maintain a bit of a heart of gold? maybe?).

sssanyway again. I enjoyed the conversation a lot, and it's always good to see Lorena - and to be reminded that I need to do my own project here, sooner rather than later, which would potentially be a good thing to do this summer. I left there around 6:15 and came home to find supper almost ready - my mom made ham and beans (Katie's favorite!) and gluten free cornbread that was super tasty, and I ate it all with gusto. Then I watched some fine CBS programming (NCIS, NCIS New Orleans, and a James Corden special), but I mostly ignored the tv and played around with marketing stuff.

And now, after having written in my journal (some ideas for my spinster book + some travel plans, because I suck at reminding myself that I'm supposed to stay put and finish this book), I should sleep and plan to write tomorrow - goodnight!

even if the sky is falling down

If you were to go back in time to visit fourteen-year-old Sara, you would find someone who was far, far less fashionable than I am. Seriously, she was a total mess, and it's a wonder I have any style at all. But that's a given. You would also find someone who lived in a safe, old, remote farmhouse, which occasionally leaked and only had one bathroom and also didn't have heat the upstairs bedrooms, so there were some downsides. But also, to the best of fourteen-year-old Sara's knowledge, it did not have any people regularly defecating around it (either on the sidewalks, which didn't exist, or on the ground), so there were also some upsides.

Fourteen-year-old Sara dreamed of riches, and possibly of cities, and was pretty sure she would have her life figured out twenty years later, when she would be thirty-four and making a killing as a writer or doctor or something equally glamorous. Thirty-four was *so old*, and she would obviously know what she was doing by then....or at least own a house, right?

Now, let's tell fourteen-year-old Sara that, twenty years later, she would be making a living as a writer. Yay to that. But let's also tell her that she would be spending $x/month renting (renting, not owning) a studio apartment (which you would have to explain to her, since she didn't know what a studio apartment was, or that there were any people in the first world living in a single room), and that the fact that parking was included would be a big deal (isn't parking always included?). And now let's tell her that that studio apartment is going to leak in not one, but two, places. And now let's sit back while fourteen-year-old Sara thinks that she has failed at life and at everything she set out to do if she's spending that much money to live in a tiny tiny sieve in the middle of a city full of human feces.

Okay, maybe that's all dramatic. But the apartment has now sprung two minor but worrisome leaks. Chandlord came over this morning to check out the first one, and I also pointed out the possible development of the second one (which went from questionable paint damage to actual dripping later this afternoon). Then I made her tea and an omelette and we caught up on real life stuff, which wasn't fun, precisely, but it was certainly a good way to spend an hour.

That kind of derailed my morning, and after she left I ended up taking a nap. But I rallied and drove down to Fort Mason, since I really wanted to pay a visit to Goody Cafe - and I got some really good writing done with a few hours spent toiling while drinking my favorite 'cloud and mist' green tea. Then I rewarded myself with some colored pencils and a new backpack from Flax (the colored pencils were planned; the backpack was an impulse, but #noregrets).

Then I came home, showered, dealt with the second leak, and walked down to the Tenderloin for Rajiv's birthday party. He and Sheila hosted it at Chambers/the Phoenix Hotel, which I didn't really realize existed there - the hotel has a heated pool (wasted on us with the rain, although some other party decided to jump in), and Chambers has cocktails and food, so we hung out in their room and occasionally ventured to the bar for more drinks (if we felt like drinking professionally-made cocktails rather than whatever we could make in the room).

John was there when I got there, and Vidya and Katrina and a host of other people eventually showed up, and I ended up staying way later than I planned. I met some v. interesting people, including a woman who is a private investigator and wants to be a screenwriter, and also someone who loves all my books (although I've met her several times before, but it's always nice to hear compliments, although I sometimes struggle to take them). And I had a great time hanging out, even if Katrina did ill-advisedly mention Prom King (talking about my fake baby doesn't really make me sound sane, as it turns out). And when someone said they wanted to write a book about a tickle monster, I heard fecal monster, which proves I've lived in SF for too long and need to leave immediately.

Anyway, after several cocktails (one more than I planned, since the bartender mysteriously made me an extra one), and after some fries and the toppings off some pizza, I really need to go to bed - the time change will mess with me and I also have breakfast plans, which means sleep is imperative. Goodnight!

don't you know that you're toxic

As you might have guessed from last night's post (which was really this morning's post), my day was kind of brutal. I dragged myself out of bed at 8:30 and managed to shower and make myself look halfway presentable before walking down to Samovar in Yerba Buena Gardens for a brunch date with Heather (aka dear respected madam).

We hadn't seen each other in a couple of months, partially because I was out of town and partially because she somehow had the wrong number in her phone for me and so texted multiple times and then assumed I hated her. Lol. I definitely hate people, but not her. Luckily, we cleared up that misunderstanding and had a great time catching up over brunch - it's perhaps an exaggeration to say that it was 'fun', since she's dealing with family stuff and I had a lot of drama to catch her up on (all of which is luckily behind me, but again, we hadn't seen each other since before I went to Denver, so there was a lot to say about SF and NYC and my writing and everything else). But I always love hanging out with her, so I loved our extended catch-up over tea and toast ('toast' is big in SF right now - I'm sure all of you in other parts of the country also love spending $10 on a piece of bread with a couple of eggs on top!).

sssanyway. My voice was shot even before I got to her, and I had somehow had something like an asthma attack this morning while getting into the shower (luckily I have an inhaler), which I'm going to blame on no sleep, too much alcohol, and too much karaoke/shouting to be heard at the bar. But I didn't feel quite like death, so I stopped at the mall, flipped off a guy and his friend who made some comment about my pussy and then vaguely wondered if they would find me and murder me later (so far, the answer to that would be no), tried on (and liked, but did not buy) some jeans, and then decided to go home. I left the mall and promptly walked into the middle of a big anti-abortion protest (the sexual harassers in the mall must have been avoiding that scene), and I was a) v. glad I hadn't driven downtown and b) v. eager to get out of the crowd.

So I walked home, grabbed Philz on the way, and then messed around on the internet in a desultory fashion until it was time to talk to Terry - we had a lot to catch up on, so we did it via hangout, and I got to hear about her experience with the historic blizzard. Then I took a nap, which was v. v. necessary, and did some more productivity stuff, and ate some spaghetti with some amatriciana sauce that I'd frozen last month (delish - I wish I had more sauce and am going to have to make another batch asap).

At that point, I was supposed to go out - I had tentative plans to do more karaoke with John and Vidya at Rickshaw Stop, but despite texts from both of them, I held firm to my belief that I needed to stay home and sleep tonight so I can get something productive done tomorrow. I've been happy with how social I've been this month, and I'm determined to do more new things this year than I did last year (I have the time for it, and that was one of the reasons I quit my job to begin with) - but tonight I needed a break, so I took it.

So I got some more stuff done tonight, and now I'm going to sleep, hope that I get nine hours, and then try writing in the morning before pursuing my other plans for the day. Goodnight!

you're getting me getting me through the night

This post is skippable because my day was super boring - you've been warned.

Despite the boring nature of my day, though, it was pretty good. I pursued my new strategy of lazing about in the morning, which was quite enjoyable, but I eventually showered, tidied things up, dropped my dry cleaning off at the cleaners, and then walked downtown to do some writing at Samovar. This involved more rehashing of old ideas than I had expected; I reread a bunch of notes I'd made weeks/months ago, which helped me to pick up some plot threads that I was in danger of losing.

But this was all good, and it was accomplished over poached eggs and bacon and gluten free toast, which was even better. Then I went to the mall - I had a brief moment of wondering whether I wanted to be in a crowded location, but then I decided not to let the terrorists get in the way of me unnecessarily spending money. Not that I spent much - I bought a single sweater, in deference to all the upcoming cold weather travel I've got going on (but grandly stating that I only bought one thing ignores the fact that I have several packages of coats/leggings/socks coming, although I assume I'll return some of it).

Then, I walked home and was desperately tired, but for some stupid reason I didn't take a nap or drink caffeine - I just stared at my laptop and thought about writing, which was dumb. Then I ran to the grocery store, came home, made chicken tortilla soup, and stupidly (very stupidly) watched the Stanford game. I could have gone to the game, since Anne asked me if I wanted to go, but that would have required driving down and back by myself, and I decided I was too lazy. But the loss was pretty sad, and scotched any productivity I might have attempted tonight.

So now I'm going to go to sleep, with grand plans to be less of a hermit tomorrow - goodnight!

waterloo...i was defeated, you won the war

I think I barely slept last night; I went to bed around 2:30, and then I woke up at 5:30 because the almost-full moon was directly above the skylights over my bed, and it was too bright to sleep. Tonight I shall rectify this by having my travel eye mask at the ready...and also by going to bed at 10:30 like I'm supposed to instead of 2:30 like I'm holding on to the last gasp of my youth.

sssanyway. Despite not sleeping much, I stayed in bed until nine and attempted to doze (with occasional success). Then I ate a snack, checked email, took care of various tings, cleaned myself up, and walked down to Samovar, where I wrote in my notebook for three hours and got approximately ten pages. This was a delightful way to spend the afternoon - I was holed up in a corner with no one near me, and I had poached eggs and bacon and gluten free toast, and a masala chai, and some mint tea after, and it was all enough to keep me fortified.

So. That was good. Then I went to Anthropologie, where I returned a top and bought a pair of pants instead, and then I walked home. I got here around 4:30, and I was suddenly exhausted and hungry (see: not sleeping last night; also see: only had poached eggs and toast and bacon without having another meal in there somewhere). So I ordered takeout, ate the takeout, messed around in my notebook some more, and was valiantly trying to make it to ten p.m. without sleeping - but I failed and had to take a nap. However, I woke up after thirty minutes and then read for the last couple of hours.

This was all the sort of introspective, hermity day that I needed to recover from the last few, and while there were probably other things I should have done (grocery shopping springs to mind), I'll take it. And now I'm going to see if I can stay up for another little bit (doubtful), and then go to bed and hope that the time change treats me right. Goodnight!

open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind

I'm once again losing track of what day it is, but it seems that today was a good one. My morning deviated from its usual course because I took care of vanity-related activities - I wanted to get a facial, and I needed to get my bangs trimmed and my eyebrows waxed, but since my aesthetician is about to get married and so will be out for 3.5wks, she's been v. difficult to schedule with. So I went to the salon at 8am for the facial...which was actually great, since I just rolled out of bed and went over.

So the facial was great, and then I went to Samovar in Yerba Buena, which is one of my favorite places ever. I didn't know that they open at nine, but now that I know, I might have to go there more often - it was really quiet at 9am, so I was able to write in my notebook for awhile, and the gf toast with poached eggs and bacon was delightful. So I hung out there for a couple of hours, enjoying the beginnings of today's heat while looking out over the gardens.

After that, I went back to the salon and worked for an hour in the Peet's under the salon before finishing my pampering by getting by brows and bangs done. Then I bought a bunch of groceries to stock up my fridge, since I'm not going anywhere for at least a month and should really cook more and go out less (at least for breakfast/lunch). And then I came home and took a nap directly in front of my fan in an attempt not to die of heat exhaustion (I know, 88 degrees isn't that hot, but in SF it's like the apocalypse). And then, sadly, I spent the rest of the afternoon doing business stuff since I needed to figure out earnings for tax payments, etc.

But the day took a dramatic upswing after that...I met [censored] at Lers Ros in Hayes Valley so that we could eat before [censored]. [censored]'s conference is going well, but [censored] snuck away so that we could go to Phantom of the Opera together. So we ate Thai food at Lers Ros, which was extremely delicious (although I was somewhat uncomfortably full after), and then we walked to the Orpheum. I don't think [censored] was impressed with the [censored] along Market Street, but we made it to the Orpheum without anyone getting [censored], so it was all good.

And it probably goes without saying that the musical was awesome. Of course, a really tall girl sat in front of me, so I spent the first half leaning precariously to one side...but, oddly, our entire row was empty, and so we switched seats for the second half (as did a bunch of other people). But it was really good to see Phantom again - I hadn't seen it since Des Moines in 2008ish (actually, February 16, 2007, when it was apparently -4 degrees in Des Moines, which is the opposite of today), which was a v. different experience. I liked the set design quite a bit, and the music was, as always, delightful.

When the show was over, [censored] and I shared a cab, and I dropped [censored] off at [censored] before coming home. And now I need to sleep - tomorrow *must* be productive, since I've got plans off and on most of this weekend...and if a crazy psychopath in an underground, water-filled dungeon can manage to be productive and write an entire fucking opera, I can surely write a book. Yes, I realize this is spurious logic and that the Phantom is entirely fictional, shut up. Goodnight!

see our love turn to rust

I didn't do nearly enough laboring on Labor Day, which is pretty much all you need to know. However, I feel that I should record the rest of the day's events for posterity. I woke up, lazed about in bed like a total wench, and finally showered and ate a snack while mulling over the next scene in my book...so, really, that's like every morning.

Eventually, though, I had to leave the apartment and venture into the million-degree heat to meet up with Katrina, Chandlord and Priyanka. We had a v. ladylike excursion to Crown and Crumpet, which is a tea place in Japantown, conveniently located only five blocks or so from my apartment. Despite its proximity and the fact that it's everything I adore, I had never been there before, so I'm glad that Katrina organized the activity for us.

The place was super cute and v. much an attempt at being British (although I'm not sure the Brits use quite so much pink), which is a bit odd given that everything else around it/above it/below it is v. Japanese. But they had the traditional multi-tiered tea services and the individual pots of tea for each person, which I always love. Even better, they have a v. good gluten-free tea service, with gf bread for the sandwiches, gf scones, and other gluten free delicacies. So Katrina and I each had the gluten free service, and Vidya and Priyanka each got veg stuff, and we succeeded in meeting all of our dietary restrictions with minimal eyerolling from the waitstaff.

But despite the heat being a little too much for tea, we had a great time - it was a nice place to catch up, which was key since I hadn't seen Katrina in ages, and the food was v. filling. So we hung out there for a couple of hours, and it was a nice way to end the long weekend (not that things like 'weekends' matter all that much to me anymore).

After tea, I came home and took a nap and lazed about directly in front of the fan, since it was all I had energy for. I also called my parents; I usually call on Sundays, but [censored] had stopped that from happening yesterday, and I didn't really have much to discuss since I just saw them on Wednesday. Still, it was good to talk to them despite the lack of any substantive updates. I perhaps should have gone out tonight, but instead I indulged my inner hermit (not that my inner hermit is all that secretive about her existence, since everyone knows of my hermit side), ate whatever I could scrounge up in my fridge, drank iced coffee to keep myself going, and alternated between writing / journalling / coloring (yes, coloring, more on that another time perhaps) / procrastinating / bemoaning the heat.

So that was a nice, quiet evening, and I'm feeling good about the week ahead (if I can buckle down on Rafe and Octavia, which I think I can). The only thing I'm not feeling good about is the vaguely scratchy feeling in my throat and the vague press of a headache behind my eyeballs, which I hope stays vague/nonexistent and doesn't turn into a summer cold to remind me that I'm turning 34 and will soon be old and decrepit. So I'm going to sleep and hope the stave off whatever might be brewing...goodnight!

tonight i'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

Today felt rather endless, but I think that's because I'm still sick, still somewhat unable to focus as a result, and so was listless and apathetic all day. That's probably overstating it...but it really did feel like today was a million hours long. I woke up and did a bit of work this morning before making eggs (with avocado and salsa, winning), getting dressed, and going downtown to see my hair person so that I could get my bangs trimmed. I was also supposed to get my brows waxed, but the salon called this morning to say that my aesthetician was sick...and I'm feeling a bit guilty to think that maybe I was the one who knocked it out, since she gave me a facial on Friday and I probably breathed all over her. Oops.

Anyway, my bangs were trimmed v. quickly, and then I went to Samovar and worked for a couple of hours while eating jook and drinking chai in an attempt to revive myself. I kept pressing on what my issues are with Rafe (I'm currently blocked because I don't understand him yet, and so whenever I have to write a scene from his POV it feels all weird and false and uninteresting), and I think I'm getting there, so I have high hopes for tomorrow. After I could take no more, I ran a couple of errands, came home, took a nap, and ran down the street to get some groceries for supper.

Supper didn't happen until later; I spent some more time writing/journaling/staring off into space tonight, which felt good(ish). Then I made chicken fajitas using a new recipe I found on Chow - I thought the marinade was quite excellent, and it was all very easy. It also gave me a chance to finally use my new grill pan, which worked wonderfully. I made a corn tortilla quesadilla to go with the fajitas, and when I added avocado/salsa/sour cream, it was scrumptious. And, since I have enough leftover for two or three more meals, this is pretty winning - I expect I'll make it again sometime (although perhaps in the future I'll start the marinade in the morning so that the flavor is even better).

After I ate, I painted my nails, and then I read the first part of Amy Poehler's memoir ('Yes Please'). So far I'm really liking it - similar to Tina Fey's memoir, it's a bit of a hodgepodge of disjointed chapters, but I'm finding myself getting into this one more easily. So easily, in fact, that it's now eleven p.m. and I meant to be in bed an hour ago, but c'est la vie. Goodnight!

spending saturday night in your arms

Despite the fact that I'm getting the black lung, my three-day weekend was very nearly perfect. Today I continued my generally slothful peregrinations - I lazed in bed for quite awhile before eventually showering, making some eggs, and going to Rapha to drink hipster coffee and scribble in my notebook about Rafe and Octavia for awhile. I'm still not quite sure what to do about them, and I think a trip to Stanford library may be necessary sometime this week or weekend to check out some books about the time period and look for inspiration.

But they're a problem for another day. I eventually came home and talked to my parents (I know it's a Monday! but holiday weekends always throw me off), and there was much to catch up on - the death of one of their neighbors, the selling of the minicows, and other various and sundry updates. But eventually I had to part ways with them so that I could reconnect with the other family...

...and that started with tea and late-afternoon snacks with Claudia at Samovar. I beat her there by half an hour or so, so I did some more brainstorming over chai before she arrived. Then, we caught up on our generally ridiculous work situations and life situations while enjoying some lazy afternoon tea time. When we were done enjoying our tea, we adjourned up the hill to Adit and Priyanka's house, where we exchanged pleasantries for five or ten minutes before we all commenced working on our own projects like we were in a study hall instead of a social gathering. But that was fine by me, since I had many emails to answer (did I answer all of them? of course not.), and many research books to look up.

Eventually, though, we put away our work and met Katrina at Mama Ji's for family dinner (tm). It was one of the more ridiculous family dinners we've had in awhile (I know, I say they're all ridiculous, but that's not a lie) - everyone was in particularly fine form, and the conversation delved deeply and awkwardly into people's personal lives (as is appropriate for a family). My life was more of a focus than usual, but I successfully got out of my story and turned the spotlight on Katrina, who came v. close to flipping the table over to deflect attention (or to vent her displeasure). But it was all v. v. fun, with such pearls of wisdom from Priyanka as 'it sounds like everything has changed, or nothing has changed', and one of Adit's usual pronunciations that I'm in a complete regression (which is, frankly, way better than a local minima, so I'll take it).

In short, I'm #blessed. Goodnight!

you want to party in france?

I continue to be in miraculously perfect health, and so today was yet another delight. Kathia and I woke up sometime before eight and proceeded to the Cafe du St Denis on Ile-de-St-Louis, where I had an omelette du fromage (cheese and more cheese) and we both attempted to write. The attempt was mostly successful, although I still hate Prudence (although Kathia told me I need to adjust my attitude, which is probably correct). We ordered some morning champagne to try to help things along, which I suppose was a good idea, although I think I should probably drink some water at some point while on French soil. Terry met up with us there, and we adjourned to do some much-deserved (not-at-all-deserved) shopping in the Marais.

And thus began my pretty-much-perfect day. Kathia has even more of a weakness for lingerie than I do, and we stumbled upon a great lingerie store where we all spent far too much money on unmentionables. This was en route to the street that I had read about where three or four amazing stationery stores lived - and when I got there, I was so overwhelmed by the window displays that I didn't want to go into any of them. We went into one and I bought a new journal, but I held off on buying more because the other amazing one didn't open until two. So we adjourned to a nearby cafe and had steak and red wine, which was amazing. Then we went back to the stationery stores, I explored the other store, and then went back to the original store and bought three more notebooks.

My heaven should have been complete at that point, but there was more in store; we went to St. Germain and had tea at Mariages Freres, which is a grand French tea establishment founded in 1854 that has six hundred varieties of tea available. The tea list is on a placard, but each tea is explained in more detail in a novel-sized paperback book that comes with the menu. We got three teas, each better than the last, and a tea-infused creme brulee that was tastier than anything should rightfully be. Kathia and Terry also got scones, but I turned my nose up at the flour and instead just had a bite of butter and jam (which is the whole point of scones anyway). Kathia and I wrote a bit more there, but then we adjourned to the hotel so that I could take a nap - at that point I was like an overstimulated toddler at Disneyland whose every childish dream has come true, and I needed to sleep before I had a meltdown.

But I was properly revived by 6:45, so I put on a party dress and we went out to meet a couple of my coworkers who also chose to come to Paris after last week's book fair. We had a v. lovely dinner at Le Petit Chatelet, which is next to Shakespeare and Company (the famous English-language bookstore). I didn't have high hopes since it looked touristy from the outside, but our appetizers were delicious (and I gorged on foie gras, which is illegal in California, much to the shock and horror of our waiter) and the entrees were all delectable. It may shock you to know that I ordered chicken, but the chicken was awesome and I have no regrets.

We all parted ways at eleven, and then Kathia, Terry and I had a nightcap in the hotel lobby. And now I must go to bed. Paris has thus far been pretty much perfect, so I don't know whether to look forward to my last full day tomorrow with anticipation or dread - it doesn't seem like it can get better, and yet it doesn't seem likely that it will be worse. Either way, I will blog tomorrow unless my heart explodes tonight from happiness. Bonne nuit!

well let me tell you how we do it in california

My best laid plans continue to go awry. Blame it on the alcohol, indeed. But I'm having a glorious time at the conference; this year I'm feeling no pressure at all, since I'm not up for anything, wasn't responsible for anything, and had to give one workshop that was done by noon on the first day (that would be today). So the rest of the conference is pure working and fun. Actually, I suppose I should be thinking about the editor meetings I have tomorrow (both my freelance editor and the editor I'm pitching), but I prefer to ignore all of this.

Today was utterly lovely - I woke up too early, since I thought my workshop was at ten, but that meant that I was able to meet up with my friend Sarah in the lobby and write over coffee for an hour or so. I didn't get much done, since I discovered a massive fucking problem right in the middle of my manuscript, which I now think I know how to fix but wasn't making me happy this morning. Then I gave the workshop, skipped out of the hotel (not fast enough, since I kept running into people, which meant I had to take a taxi), and went to the office, where I did one meeting while eating a whole plate of steak. Then, I left the office, got to the subway, realized I'd left my phone in the office, went back to the office, and then had to call an Uber to take me to the Ritz-Carlton, which was an expensive but luxurious way to roll up to the fanciness in style.

At the Ritz, I had high tea (and a bellini) with some historical writer friends and the readers who won having tea with us as part of a charity auction we participated in in May. And I utterly gorged myself on gluten, but for once I don't regret a single bite, because it was all totally amazing. They had this grand marnier infused cream puff that was the best thing I've ever eaten, and there were all these great tea sandwiches, and they had scones, and I wanted to die from happiness. Then I almost really did die when the taxi on the way to the hotel had no air conditioning and took forty-five minutes, which meant I sweated ('glowed') all the way through my dress and missed my meeting with my freelance editor (who was luckily in communication via text, so we're meeting tomorrow).

So after all that, I was going to take it totally low-key - but instead, I took a cold shower, went downstairs, and had a v. lovely dinner with my San Francisco writing chapter (a dinner I was way too stuffed to eat, so I just had alcohol and a potato, which is like my perfect meal). Then I was going to go to my room and write, but I walked out of the restaurant with Rachael, so I ended up in her room talking selfpub over a glass of scotch. Then I actually made it to my room...but Kristin texted me, so I met her in the bar, where I had two drinks and networked with a million awesome people, and also told two Microsoft guys my father's distinction between romance novels and porn, which is too dirty to repeat here. The Microsoft guys were perhaps initially uncomfortable, since I overheard one of them whispering to the other that 'all the women here write *smut*), and I v. uncharacteristically interrupted and called them out on it. But then we had a rambling half-hour conversation about romance, which was made particularly shocking to them when they learned that I work at [tech company] and one of my fellow writers is an Episcopal priest. Heh.

sssanyway, after having a v. fruity drink with Tessa Dare (namedropping) and her v. high-powered literary agent (who lives in the same town as my former agent, may her name live forever in my heart), I have finally returned to my room, and I shall stay here for eight blessed hours. And then the fun will commence again, hopefully without me developing cirrhosis overnight. Goodnight!

how can we make love if we can't make amends?

Today was lovely, albeit wet...San Francisco is certainly warmer than Iowa was, but it has also been much greyer the past couple of days, which is a shame. Or maybe just today - I guess I don't remember much about yesterday's weather in the city, and it was sunny in the south bay. Whatever - I'm sure I'll start keeping track of the days better once I fall back into some semblance of a routine. sssanyway, it was very grey today, which contributed to my delinquency. I slept until 9:30, then made myself some bacon and some scrambled eggs with cream and herbes de provence, which were delish. After cleaning up my breakfast mess, I made gluten-free chocolate chip scones, and then showered, messed around on the internet, and contemplated Nick and Ellie.

Around three, though, the real fun began - Heather (aka dear respected madam) came over for teatime, which was the rationale for baking scones. Terry joined us for teatime, so I made a big batch of tea and we sat around the table eating scones and talking about [censored]'s recommendation that I colonize [censored], which met with a surprising degree of enthusiasm (although I think they were seeing dollar signs in hopes that TLC or Lifetime would make a reality tv show about the endeavor). Then, Terry went out for a drink with someone, and Heather and I drank some more tea and talked about Nick and Ellie. We continued that discussion, with some interruptions, over supper at Regent Thai, and it was all very lovely.

The good news is that Heather loved it; the bad news (if it can be called bad news) is that we came up with a better idea for how to resolve that f*@%ing killer subplot, which will necessitate some rewriting of the ending. Not a tragic amount of rewriting, but between that and the couple of other scenes I want to add/tweak, I need to get cracking. I don't want to start tomorrow, though, since I'm kind of waiting to hear back from my agent about all her feedback and any other business considerations before I start...so I'm kind of twiddling my thumbs on it and just jotting down notes rather than doing a wholesale rewrite. Hopefully that feedback comes in soon, though, since I want to turn it into my editor by the end of next week...fingers crossed.

After dinner, I dropped Heather off at her car, came home, and talked to Terry for awhile before getting back into my Nick and Ellie zone. Now, though, I should sleep - goodnight!

it takes my pain away

I must go to bed immediately - I'm leaving for Iowa tomorrow morning, and while my flight is at the not-so-inhumane hour of 8:30am, it's still not exactly humane in my book. Anything that requires me getting up before eight is unwelcome, and getting up at 5:45 is particularly unwelcome. But, I'm all packed up, I have my clothes laid out, etc., and so all that remains is sleeping, showering, drying my hair (maybe), and making some sort of gluten-free sandwich or some other tings with whatever is left in the fridge after my efforts to clear it out today. Yay.

Today was v. busy in my efforts to get ready to go - I answered email, took a quick shower, and then sped down to the glorious south bay to return my library books at Stanford, pick up two more books, mail a bunch of letters and packages (all business related, so none of you get anything fun), check my mail (where I found a delightful package of stuff from someone in Australia whom I had sent my first two books to - yay), buy some fancy-pants coffee beans to take home with me, etc. Then I sped back to the evil city to meet up with Tammy (aka Tammmmmmeh), an activity I normally would have blown off the day before a trip had I seen her more recently than many months ago. We had tea at Samovar, which was out of everything we wanted, and caught up, etc. Then I dragged her to Nordstrom, where I was v. bad and bought a handbag; it's less bad since it was almost free since I needed to use up a whole passel of rewards points before they expired. Do you hear the note of rationalization in my voice?

And now, after having cleaned out the fridge, taken out the trash, packed, repacked, etc., I need to sleep. Hopefully I can write on the plane tomorrow - while today was all errands, it somehow unlocked a vast aquifer of creativity which I intend to tap like a motherfucker until it runs dry and leaves only a desolate wasteland behind. In less vulgar terms, I came up with several key plot points, backstory realizations, etc. which I think may have fixed some of the last bits that I'm struggling with in terms of the plot and character motivations, and we'll see whether those realizations hold up to the sunlight. Goodnight!