we got fun and games

Sorry for the late post - I was writing for the last three hours, and didn't feel like stopping until I hit the wall really hard and realized that this is approximately five hours after the bedtime that had been imposed by the lack of lights at the silent retreat.

So, as you can guess from that, today was good, but I'm trying to go hard after the book again since I have a serious deadline and am not as far along as I would like. I got up and tried a new place for breakfast/coffee - Juno's is super close by here, but it requires turning left instead of right when you leave my hotel, and I don't do that very often. It was great, though, and I spent several hours catching up on email and life tasks while drinking coffee and observing the world.

Then I came back here and procrastinated. But I broke the procrastination cycle and wrote some this afternoon (after buying some ointment for the very very many ant bites I've acquired), and then I virtuously skipped all fun plans and worked this evening. I did write at Element with a burger and a glass of wine (it's like a poor man's Des Amis, if you remember my love for that place)...and like Des Amis, I've made friends with the staff, which is a double-edged sword since they're friendly but they also tend to want to talk while I'm working.

But I got some good stuff done, and then I took a break when I got back here to hang out in the kitchen and talk to the people who had had fun tonight (I didn't miss much, although their food/drink options were much more varied than mine). Then I came upstairs and worked for three hours. And now I am desperate for sleep so I can do similar magical feats tomorrow - goodnight!

strike a pose

Today was a long, lovely day, and I'm ready for bed (even though I should stay up all night and write...but maybe I'll do that tomorrow night). I got up fairly early and spent the morning chained to my laptop, which was quite productive once I got started. The writing process continues to intrigue and mystify me, but at least it's working now, so hopefully I'll produce a book worth publishing in the next month (doable, but I've got a lot of slogging to do before the end).

Anyway, a smoothie and a couple of coffees kept me going until noon, when I ate a sandwich and then showered/put on a dress/made up my face so that I could pursue my afternoon/evening activities. I had made this plan a month ago, back when I thought I was turning my book in to my editor last week instead of this coming week, and so while I was a little loath to socialize this afternoon from a timing perspective, I was super eager for the plan itself. I met Joann (of spinster honeymoon fame) and the original Jen Lui at the de Young, where we had tickets for the Oscar de la Renta exhibit. I hadn't been to the de Young since Jen got married there, and when they told me to meet them in the garden where she had gotten married, I had a brief moment of disorientation because I had been quite tipsy when I had arrived to her wedding (due to ill-advised champagne consumption while watching a football game) and so wasn't sure if I remembered where the garden was. But I found them, and we talked for a little bit before going in to the exhibit.

I thought it was all quite lovely - de la Renta's collections had many more wearable (or theoretically wearable) pieces than I've seen at some of the other fashion exhibits I've been to (namely Alexander McQueen, which was perhaps more stunning but also mostly crazytown). Of course, I might not have worn the pants that had fur hanging off the cuffs in a way that almost looked like a string of small rodents (or maybe that's exactly what I would wear, provided I became a postapocalyptic warlord, which is kind of my backup career choice). But I really enjoyed the exhibit, and I'm glad we caught it.

Then, we wandered around several other areas of the museum, including a great photography exhibit and a bunch of interesting stuff from Oceania (New Guinea, etc.), which made me think a little bit about the ethics of collecting stuff. All in all, it was a nice way to spend an afternoon, and since I recently bought a membership, I really should go there (and the Legion of Honor) more often, if only to people watch and scribble in my notebook in a more beautiful setting.

After we were done, we adjourned to Laurel Village (a neighborhood I never go to) for dinner at Spruce. We started with a drink at the bar, and I downed my tequila and strawberry cocktail in record time because it was quite refreshing. Then we had an amazing dinner - we split a kale caesar salad and some foie gras, and both were excellent. I had a pork loin for my entree, and I thought it was excellent - the pork was perfect, and it was served with a sweet potato puree and some random assortment of vegetables, all of which worked quite well together. We also split a deconstructed s'more and some chocolate mousse, and it was all quite delicious.

The verdict was that we would all go back if the opportunity presented itself. As it turns out, Spruce is owned by the same restaurant group that used to had Des Amis, and so I hugged one of the waiters who used to be at Des Amis (and whom I ran into too late in the meal, since we might have gotten comped some wine if Spruce had known about or acknowledged my former VIP status). Unfortunately, it's too far away from my house (and also too stuffy/expensive) to become my Des Amis replacement, but it was an excellent Saturday night outing - and gave us plenty of time to gossip and catch up and discuss a wide variety of topics.

We were done by eight, and Jen and Joann dropped me off on their way out of the city, which was perfect. Then, I did a little bit of work, but mostly fell down a wikipedia black hole - and now I think it would be better to sleep and start fresh tomorrow. Wish me luck with that - goodnight!

find me where the wild things are

I meant to be in bed an hour ago, but wine and writing and laundry derailed me. Today was pretty good, all things considered - the morning was not productive enough (mostly because I spent it researching potential coworking spaces that could make me more productive, which was an insidious type of procrastination because it almost felt like work). But I made some iced coffee, meditated, and salvaged the rest of the day, so it's all good.

Of course, I couldn't salvage the day without picking up my packages downstairs, which included a gorgeous new fountain pen and a bottle of my favorite ink (a somewhat-impulse buy from last week, although I'd had my eye on a new pen for awhile). So of course I had to ink it up and test it out, and it exceeded all my expectations (and now I want to write with it again immediately, even though bed is more important). Yes, I'm a dork, but you knew that...and fountain pens are vital for my process because I'm a serious artist, so whatever.

After that, I walked down to the Marina and had lunch at my favorite cafe, where I talked to Tony for quite awhile. There was virtually no one in there by the time I got there, so he sat at my table and we discussed a broad variety of topics (and I told him about my horrific experience visiting the Little House in the Big Woods as a child, which he found quite entertaining). This was all good for my spirits, even if it wasn't good for my productivity (or my theoretically low-carb choices, since I had to get huevos rancheros because I'm still feeling leery about eating salmon and other fish-type situations after last week's food poisoning adventure, and so I couldn't get the salmon/poached eggs that I usually get when craving something healthier).

Eventually, I parted ways with Tony and went to Equinox, where I sat in the lobby and wrote for two hours. Then I was tempted to go home, but I forced myself to do the workout I had planned, which went well (although my calluses were almost gone and I'm having to rebuild them with the kettlebells, but that's not the end of the world).

Then I was still going to go home, but I needed to finish the scene I was working on, and I knew I wouldn't want to write if I got here. So I showered and dried my hair, but I hadn't brought my makeup bag, so I went to Sephora (conveniently on the same block) and 'tested' some tinted moisturizer and mascara. And then I went to Belga, which used to be Des Amis, and pretended that it was Des Amis and that it was totally cool for me to pull out my laptop and write over a glass of wine and some steak.

This turned out to be a good call - I got another ten pages or so, and I felt happy there despite the fact that it's all different (and the chairs in the bar area are stools rather than benches/chairs, which isn't quite as comfy). And either I just have a face that makes bartenders/waiters want to comp me stuff, or the Ghost of Des Amis whispered in my waiter's ear, because he declared that he was buying my second glass of rosé and comped it even though I'd never met him before, had only been to Belga once before, and I assume the Des Amis VIP list did not transfer to the new owners (and even if it did, I hadn't given them my name). Lolol. I will gratefully accept whatever luck it is that gets me free drinks, and ignore the possibility that I'm burning my luck on drinks instead of books.

Eventually, though, my eyes were about to fall out, so I got a lyft home. And then I did laundry because the situation was getting dire and they're turning the water off in the building tomorrow night, and I have plans Wednesday and Thursday nights. And now, after all of that, I need to sleep rather desperately - I also have fun daytime plans tomorrow (writing date in the north bay, yay), so sleep is imperative. Goodnight!

i took a pill in ibiza

Today got off to a bit of a weird start when I thought there was an earthquake, but it seems that it was some bizarre sensory combo of intense rain on the skylights above my bed + somehow rocking myself in my sleep. Yeah, I don't know what to make of that either.

But I went back to sleep after realizing that I was alive and not about to be buried under the apartment above me, so that was all good. And when I woke up, I had a fairly decent morning - I made some avocado toast, drank some iced coffee, did some writing, and had a great realization about the next scene I need to work on, so that was all delightful.

By 1:15 it was time for me to slack off for the day, so I went to my favorite nail place and got the old gel polish removed and new gel polish put on. Then I met up with Chandlord for a late afternoon drink and snack, which is a delightful way to spend Friday afternoon (as I discovered last week). We ended up going to Belga, which used to be my oh-so-beloved Des Amis - I hadn't been in there since it opened, since I couldn't quite get over my Des Amis grief, but it has been over a year, so I suppose it was time. On most evenings it looks way too bro-ish for my tastes (although I think Chandlord would assume that bros are my thing, since I am white), but in the afternoon it was quiet and lovely, and so a glass or two of rosé and some fries to share was a perfect interlude. Vidya totally lost interest in my detailed observations of everything that had changed between Des Amis and Belga (they kept most of the layout, but restained the wood to make the place lighter, switched some of the table layout in the bar area, etc...but you don't care either). But on the whole, we had a good conversation, so it was worth it.

Then I walked her to Blue Fog so she could grab a bottle of wine for the thing she was going to, and then I decided to stay in the Marina (my old 'hood) and have dinner rather than sharing a lyft with her. I was going to stop in at Nectar to say hi to the owners, but they were having a private event tonight, so I v. briefly said hello to Chris and then continued on my way. I ended up at Mezes, which I hadn't been to in forever, and it was quiet early on, which gave me ample opportunity to catch up with Marco about all the things we've been up to + the trip he's about to take to Brazil (I voted for him to spend his money on an economy plus upgrade rather than a yellow fever vaccine, but I warned him repeatedly that I'm not a doctor, so his mileage my vary).

And now that I've had a v. Marina afternoon and evening, I think I want to sleep and aim for some solid wordcount tomorrow - goodnight!

oh christ she's not alone

I have returned to my hedonistic San Francisco lifestyle, where 45 degrees is considered cold and my veins are well-lubricated by red wine. I slept as much as I could this morning (which wasn't quite enough), then got up and took care of some tings before showering and going down the street for breakfast and a reunion with Tony, the owner of my favorite breakfast place. Tony and breakfast were both great, thanks for asking!

Then I came home, talked to Terry for awhile (this was our first rendezvous of 2015!), and spent a couple of hours procrastinating, doing laundry, etc. Then I ventured to Polk Street and bought lingerie at the French lingerie store (okay, it was only three bras, and they were mostly basic, but still, this is far more decadent than anything one can find in my home town, unless the used goods store has started carrying French lingerie). And then I went to Des Amis for one final hurrah - as I mentioned the other night, they're closing for good tomorrow, which makes me tres sad.

However, my tres sadness turned into tres drunkenness, since I had four glasses of wine to see them out in style. The first was on my own; the second and third were with Terry when she joined me there; and the fourth was provided compliments of the restaurant, who in my mind didn't apologize nearly enough for leaving me. C'est la vie, as they say.

Having left them in style, I came home, took a seventeen-minute nap that was all that stood between me and certain death, and then smeared some eyeliner on my face in an attempt to look glamorous before going to Kathia's new place for a combo cocktail party/housewarming. It was lovely to see her, although our mingling was brief; I spent most of the night hanging out with Josie, who also writes, and she gave me some life-coach type lessons that were by turns illuminating and hysterical.

But because I had been at Des Amis, and because I'm not over my jetlag yet, and because I have high hopes for being a productive member of society tomorrow (or at least going to the gym), I left the party relatively early, and I'm going to go to sleep immediately (or after I get rid of the eyeliner I smeared on my face earlier) - goodnight!

turn away and slam the door

The presentation I had to give today went mostly swimmingly (other than some vague disquietude over gender politics, which I've felt more in my current group than I felt in previous groups since there are fewer female leaders as I continue to climb the ladder (a ladder I never intended to return to, incidentally)). But that means that all that stands between me and two weeks of vacation is a few mostly pointless meetings, one more presentation, and some attempt to clear my inbox before ignoring everyone. I'm pretty sure I can survive for that long...

But at least today was mostly better than yesterday; I got up at 5:30 again, but I was able to leave at three, so that's something. Sadly, it started to rain just as I pulled out of the parking lot, and so it took an hour and a half to get home. But I made it, ate an apple, talked to [censored], did a bit of shopping, and then had dinner and a drink (well, I had two drinks and she had zero drinks) with Terry at my favorite French place. And while I plan to get up dreadfully early tomorrow as well, I'm in the home stretch and I don't expect anything dramatic to happen (knock on wood). To accomplish that, though, I must sleep immediately - goodnight!

come on hide your lovers underneath the covers

Another brutal day - this refrain is likely getting as old for you as it is for me. I woke up at six, wrote until eight (successfully!), worked until ten, trained with Alyssa, and then slogged relentlessly until 4:30 (okay, not so relentless - I did take a break for coffee, but I consider that a requirement these days). Then I endured an almost two-hour commute, since clearly everyone wanted to come home and watch the Giants/Royals game. And as it turned out, everyone was wrong in trying to get home to watch it, since it was a bloodbath.

But I got home eventually (and was even not that stabby when I finally made it here), and I went to Des Amis for the third night in a row, where I wrote again. I'm happy with how this scene finally turned out, and there's only one scene left to fix/rewrite, so I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, I can get through it tomorrow. But either way, this fucker may actually come out sooner rather than later - we can all hope that's the case, since clearly I'm going to go crazy if I don't get done with Thorington soon.

Now, though, after doing an hour of work for the day job to wrap up my day of brutality, I must sleep so I can do it all again tomorrow. Goodnight!

until the love runs out

I wanted to go to bed forty-five minutes ago (yes, at nine p.m., I'm old), but I made the mistake of checking my work email, and so I got sucked in until now. Today was decent, but I find it impossible to believe that it's only Monday - surely it must be Wednesday, given how much I've done already? I woke up at 5:45, was a bit sluggish getting ready, and so didn't get out the door until 6:40ish - which would have been fine except I forgot that I was out of gas. So by the time I filled up and made it out of the city, my commute took an hour and a half. Sucks.

But I slogged incessantly from 8:20 to 4:15ish, with nary a break in sight (although I did get coffee, but those of us who got coffee talked about work the whole time, so it doesn't count). Then I drove home, took care of house chores, and went to Des Amis, where I finally got the breakthrough I was looking for in terms of writing productivity and finished one of the scenes that was blocking me. YES.

And now I'm going to go to bed, get up super early, and write before taking meetings from home and then going to the gym - wish me luck. Goodnight!

worth everything ever wished for

I begin to feel that I have become just the tiniest bit repetitive. Is that true? Is it true that my days can all be summed up thusly: that I woke up earlier than I wanted to, that I endured a long and bitter commute, that I had a lot of meetings, that I did something fun with someone or multiple someones at the office, and that I obsessed over Thorington at Des Amis?

Yeah, I guess they can. My apologies. Thorington is coming to an end, though...I got my last edits back from my editor this afternoon, and so I came home from work and immediately went to Des Amis to process them (over chicken and a single glass of white wine, so everyone there assumed the worst about my mental state). Three hours later, I felt really good about the shape Thorington is in - yes, I have to finish the last chapters, but this is not insurmountable, and the rest of the book is pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. This is mostly because I adore Thorington (yes, I know he's fictional, shut up), but Callie is pretty awesome too. And I'm even somewhat excited for the next book (Rafe and Octavia), even though I have no idea what it's about and will undoubtedly reach the same level of despair at some point that I reached over this one.

So, I'm going to do my damnedest to slog brutally and relentlessly this weekend so that I can hit publish before going to Germany next week. Obviously if I think I can't do this without sacrificing quality, I won't - but I think it's possible if the stars align. And I'm going to fucking force them to align, because I need a vacation and want to spend a magical weekend in Frankfurt/Heidelberg before work starts again the following week.

sssanyway. I got up this morning and made it down to Palo Alto almost on time (a miracle since it was raining), where I trained with Alyssa. Her nefarious kettlebell agenda has expanded to snatches, which means flinging the bell onto my wrist, which is supposed to be done without bruising the hell out of the wrist, but I haven't totally figured it out yet. It went better than I expected, though, and was even maybe kind of fun, so that's cool. Then I went to the office, took a couple of meetings from main campus, and was ten minutes late getting back to my building for my first meeting with my new hire (she will get used to my fast and loose adherence to calendars, hopefully - at least I warned her in advance that today was going to be messy). But we adjourned our meeting to have a team lunch at In-n-Out - yes, it's ridiculous that we took her out to a buy-your-own-lunch situation when we are surrounded by free food, but the rest of us wanted to get off campus and she had never been to In-n-Out, so hopefully it wasn't too bad.

After that, I took advantage of the free food by having an iced latte and working at the coffee shop with one of my coworkers for an hour. Then I had meetings, and then I drove home, and you know the rest.

So yeah, that was predictable. You and I just have to survive another week, and then I'll be in Germany and will have entirely new content for you. Goodnight!

oh...and p.s., I posted the first chapter of Thorington's book on my writing website, if you are interested in reading it. Yay.

say geronimo

I've reached the manic part of my process, I think.

That's probably all I need to say...you loyal readers have now lived through me finishing five books, which is hard to believe, and so at this point you may know my process as well as I do. Today was good, but I need to stop and take a breath. I trained with Alyssa this morning, and the session was good (I guess I'm now swinging 20kg bells? Good?), but I was 20min late due to the absurd traffic caused by the first bit of rain we've had in ages. Then I went to work, showered, slogged, ate lunch, went to the coffee shop to work for a bit, and then had three more meetings before calling it a day.

Then I suffered another hour and a half on the road, which sucked. But I got home, sat for a few minutes, forced myself to rally, and went to Des Amis, where I accomplished quite a bit despite my exhaustion. I also accomplished quite a bit despite my precarious emotional state...everything is uncomfortably close to the surface right now, as it always is when I have to bleed the last few chapters directly onto the page. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's horribly perfect that I feel compelled to make a career out of sharing emotion through stories when I often do my level best to ignore my own. Tanks, universe.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

dressed up to the eyes, it's a wonderful surprise

Today was both gorgeous and productive, and so I'm going to bed a happy (and very full) camper. I oddly woke up at 5:30ish, laid in bed for quite awhile wondering why I'd woken up, and finally got up and made tea so that I could start the writing day early. It was still slow going, but better than it has been in awhile (I got ten pages), so I'll take it. I took a break around 9:30ish to have breakfast, and then I did some shopping therapy on Union Street (which was entirely unnecessary - I've been doing far too much shopping the last few weeks, which is a clear sign that the book is troubling me in deep and dreadful ways). But I got some things from Sephora for my upcoming trip to Germany, bought a new umbrella, and got a cute dress and a top, so that's all fun.

Then I came home, worked some more, and eventually dragged Terry to Des Amis, where we worked in the late afternoon (I invited her with the express commandment that I needed to write, so we split an order of fries and then I had a coke while writing and she had a cocktail while reading). Then I came home, took a v. restorative nap, put on a fancy dress, made my eye makeup all smoky, and put on crazy heels for the first time in months.

This was all in support of the day's main plan - Kathia took me to Gary Danko for my birthday, which was absurdly indulgent and completely wonderful. We ended up waiting an hour and a half for seats at the bar, but we had champagne while we waited, and the wait was completely worth it. The food was amazing, from the amuse bouche (some sort of gazpacho), to all the mains, to the cheese course, to the chocolate mousse they brought out for my birthday. Possibly the best dish was this little buckwheat thing with caviar and creme fraiche, but the scallops were to die for, and the pork belly was definitely my weakness. Oh, and the risotto with crab was great. And the blue cheese on the cheese platter was so very good.

So, that was all intensely yummy. And because we were sharing the courses over the span of a few hours, we had plenty of time to catch up, which was great since we hadn't hung out without our laptops in ages. Kathia gave me a pep talk and ordered me to stop holding myself back (which I agree with), and we discussed all sorts of other topics and generally had a fun time. And now I want to go on a quest to go to all sorts of other fabulous restaurants in the city since I mostly just go to Des Amis (did you know that?), but that's going to have to wait until I have some more time...

...and speaking of time, it's time to go to bed if I have any hope of accomplishing what I want to accomplish tomorrow. Goodnight!

champagne supernova

Happy national day of mourning to me! Today was perfectly delightful - I didn't sleep that well last night, as has been typical for the last few days, but I awoke feeling chipper and eager to face the day. This is probably because I'm one of those weird people who is always excited to face her birthday like she's six again, and not like she's another step closer to the grave. So I got up early, got ready, talked to my parents (this is perhaps the earliest we've ever talked on my birthday), and drove to the glorious south bay to train with Alyssa. Our workout was fairly strenuous, which was great, and then I took my sweet time getting ready and drying my hair so that I felt like I was completely ready to face the day.

And the day was great. I had a couple of meetings, but I survived them. I met a baby, and I survived that as well. I had lunch with Alaska Matt (a comrade from my India days), and I required no special effort to survive that since he's always wonderful. I spent some quality time pulling a prank on someone in my cube, which means I have to go into the office tomorrow even though I was planning to work from home. And my team brought cupcakes (including gluten free cupcakes!) and champagne for my birthday, so that was awesome.

The only non-awesome thing was my drive home, which took an hour and a half. But I survived it, then talked to [censored], then threw on a v. hot dress and some extra eye makeup and went to Des Amis for my birthday dinner. Nine other people joined me over the course of the evening, and it was the usual suspects - Terry, Lauren (aka Subz - India was v. good to me in terms of long-term friends), John, Jess, Shedletsky, Tina (aka Mrs. Shedletsky, which is weird to say), Adit, Chandlord, Kathia, and Priyanka. It was wonderful to see them all, and we had a v. secluded, v. romantic back corner in which to accomplish our business. Also, the chef sent out some delicious pates and tings as gifts, which only John, Jess, and I ate, which was fantastic. Also, I got a creme brulee for dessert with a candle along with it. Also, we had two bottles of champagne and a bottle of my favorite zinfandel. Also, I drank a substantial amount of that second bottle of champagne, since the sommelier took great pride in pouring me an entirely full glass.

Anyway, a great time was had by all. Terry was a true friend and went out late on a school night. Lauren looked v. casual chic, as befitting her status as a (temporary) resident of coastal California. John and Jess brought me a v. heartfelt card that was entirely appreciate and entirely out of place with a generally flippant and sarcastic group, which made me appreciate it more. Shedletsky and Tina brought me several v. interesting books about British sex scandals (yay) and also decided to set up competing online dating profiles for me and see which one does better (uh, boo). Adit was v. late and looked like a hipster sailor, but endeared himself again by rearranging everything on the table as per usual. Chandlord was v. relaxed compared to her pre-dance days, and also got a glimpse of the glasses Adit stole from her (and changed the prescription on so that it suited him) nearly ten years earlier, and also instigated some v. personal questions towards me (tanks). Kathia was out of words but had at least showered, so I think she's doing well. Priyanka has had a super stressful few weeks, but she managed to show up and she also managed not to fall asleep during dessert, so I think she may have been the winner.

In short, it was perfect. And now I must sleep, and greet thirty-three with a happy heart. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, everyone! Goodnight!

it's a lie, a kiss with open eyes

I'm way too tired to blog, so you're getting something abbreviated just to prove that I'm alive. But my day was great - there's going to be another royal baby, I wrote from 8am to 9:30am and again from 7pm to 8:30pm, and my day wasn't too horrible since I stayed sufficiently caffeinated and entertained throughout. This was particularly helped by a) going to get coffee at the coffee bar on campus rather than making my own like a peasant, and b) the fact that I arrived at work and found that my coworkers had taken time on Friday to meticulously cover my desk, monitor, chair, and all other surfaces of my work area in post-its. I'd actually known this on Friday since one of my coworkers very helpfully texted a picture of my desk, but they appear to have continued their labors after the photo I received.

So, that was all very entertaining, particularly as I started digging into my investigations and they all turned on each other and started sharing evidence. Yes, I was v. productive today!

And now I must sleep so I can get up at 5:45am and write again...wish me luck. Goodnight!

[...]

Writing is still a stupid profession, but it was marginally less stupid today than it was yesterday. I'm still not done, but I'm getting closer. I wrote this morning from home, then grabbed breakfast, then wrote at Equinox (yes, I wrote at the gym - but the new one on Union Street has this awesome library-style lobby that was perfect for writing), then worked out. Then I showered and called my parents.

Unfortunately, after that I was less productive than I hoped; I went to Des Amis with the intention of writing all night, but my wine made me sleepy and my brain wasn't having it. So I came home and took a nap, thinking that would help...and it didn't. And so now I'm going to go to bed and get up early so that I can keep going with this - goodnight!

somewhere along the way, my anger turned to vengeance

Today was mostly a lost cause. I trained with Alyssa, but since my finger is still messed up, we couldn't do swings or deadlifts or the other stuff we usually do. But she spent most of the session doing nerve exercises for my hand/arm, which seemed to help just a little bit.

Then I showered and went to urgent care to get the finger checked out. Happily, it isn't hurting as much today as it did yesterday; instead, it's just numb, although it's still swollen and I can't make a perfect fist. Sadly, I inadvertently saw the same doctor I saw when I broke my toe, and he didn't bother to xray it - instead, he said, "this will likely bother you your entire life" and gave me some Aleve. Jhokes. So I'm going to hope that anti-inflammatories help, but then I'm going to make an appointment with a specialist and get another opinion at some point, since I don't like the idea of this bothering me my whole life (and also I find it odd that, while the finger has occasionally ached since I broke it, it would suddenly flare up badly 13+ years after the original injury).

But enough about my health woes. I then went to work, where I slogged for a few hours. This all ended in our team meeting, where champagne was served (because why not?). I hung out a bit after to let the champagne subside, and then I drove home (traffic was brutal), stared at the wall for awhile, and finally dragged myself to Des Amis, where I got a few pages over steak and wine (plus an amazing heirloom tomato and goat cheese salad that the chef brought out for me, ostensibly as an apology because some couple on a first date had snagged my favorite table in the lounge just before I got there. Ha.).

And now I must sleep - I'm taking tomorrow off, and I'm going to finish this draft of Thorington if it kills me. Goodnight!

when i look at the television, i want to see me staring right back at me

Thorington was pretty much all-consuming today, but it was v. slow going, and I didn't get the word count I'd hoped for. It wasn't for lack of trying, but I need to catch fire tomorrow if I have any hope of sustaining momentum through the week and turning a final draft into my editor next weekend. Since I have afternoon plans tomorrow, it would have been more ideal if I'd caught fire today instead, but c'est la vie.

That said, it wasn't all bad; I'm happy with what I did write, and I feel way more immersed in the story than I did yesterday. I woke up around seven, poured some tea and ate a snack, and worked in bed until almost ten. Then I showered and had breakfast down the street, where I stunned Tony (the owner) and the entire waitstaff by ordering an omelette instead of huevos rancheros. I knew this would stun them, and I had to say as soon as I walked in that I was going to order something else because Tony just starts the huevos as soon as he sees me walk through the door. I love that place. But the omelette was delish, and it didn't put me to sleep like huevos sometimes do, which was critical for my afternoon writing session.

After that, I ran a couple of errands, got a pedicure (and wrote a tiny bit while getting the pedicure, but I mostly just sat there and enjoyed a few minutes of not working), came home, and wrote the rest of the afternoon. But I slacked off around 5:30 to meet up with Kathia - we hadn't seen each other properly in awhile, and so we had a long, leisurely dinner at Des Amis. It was particularly good tonight, both because of the company (okay, almost entirely because of the company), and because we started with a delightful heirloom tomato salad and lingered over coffee at the end.

And then I came home, thought about writing some more, laughed at the thought, and procrastinated instead. But now I must sleep so I can get up early tomorrow and write before my afternoon plans lead me astray - goodnight!

wait...they don't love you like i love you

As you may have guessed from last night's post, today was a v. long day - but I'm in a surprisingly chipper mood despite my exhaustion. I woke up at 5:15am (MDT), after less than five hours of sleep, and managed a shower and some decently good hair (despite lacking a comb, but luckily the hotel had Aveda hair products, so I was saved) before catching a cab back to the airport. There, I made it through security in a relatively straightforward manner, and I had time to have a leisurely breakfast before boarding my flight.

Sadly, I was in the middle of a regular economy row, which made me feel like a total peasant - I felt like having a Scarlett O'Hara moment and vowing never to sit in the middle again, but it couldn't be helped. And I wrote four pages while I was sitting there, so I suppose it could have been worse. Then I got to SF, grabbed my bag, got in another cab, and went straight to the office since I had stuff that I needed to do in person today.

But even though going to the office on four hours of sleep would have made me surly in other circumstances, all my meetings were relatively enjoyable. Then I caught a ride home with a coworker, thus saving me from the shuttle and certain despair...particularly since we left before five p.m., which always makes me happy. When I got home, I changed into something that hadn't been on the airplane and went straight to Des Amis, where I was going to write but instead stared off into space and returned to my libertine San Francisco ways (if a glass and a half of wine counts as libertine). Terry joined me for a bit of it, which allowed us to catch up before I spend the next three days out of commission with this work event I have going on.

Speaking of that, I really need to sleep if I'm going to survive tomorrow - goodnight!

babe we're only here, oh, for a little while

I had a delightful day! Despite my lack of sleep and my vague hangover (nothing too tragic, just general dehydration/exhaustion), I woke up at seven and wrote for an hour and a half before working. Thorington is slowly coming together, and I was happy with what I wrote today even if I wasn't ready to toss it aside and get into the day job. But luckily for me, my 8:30 meeting was canceled, so I was able to work on day job stuff for an hour and a half while lazing in bed (lazing is probably the wrong work; I was reclining in bed while answering emails). Then I drove south and trained with Alyssa - she continues to push her nefarious kettlebell agenda, so I did a whole bunch of twelve-kilo single-arm swings, which will likely come back to haunt me tomorrow (for Americans, that's 26.5lbs; my standard double arm swing is more like 16-20kg, but that's still easier for me to do with correct form than singles). But it was good to see her despite her agenda, and hopefully I can get in another good workout on Thursday before returning to ye olde Iowa and swinging with the minicows instead.

sssanyway, then I went to the office, showered, ate a v. subpar salad (even for my cafe, which is always subpar - and yes, I can complain about free food), had a bunch of meetings, and then grabbed a restorative iced latte before my final meeting of the day. Then I worked for another hour or two, spent an hour and a miserable half commuting, and had just enough time to refresh my makeup before heading out to Des Amis (do you know that place?). I wasn't there to do work, to the surprise of everyone; instead, I met Ritu, Bill, Adit, and Priyanka, and showed all of them where I spend all my time. Tuesdays are half-off wine bottles, so we had two bottles of wine, five cheeses to start, and some v. tasty main courses, and it was all perfectly lovely.

But now I must sleep so that I can continue my unsustainable mix of writing/work/friendship tomorrow - goodnight!

your drug is a heartbreaker

Today was a surprisingly delightful mix of writing, socializing, and more writing. It might have been perfect if I'd snuck in a nap as well, but we can't have everything (yes, this is #firstworldproblems). I tried to wake up at eight, which was an exercise in sadness, but I managed to get out of bed and meet Kathia at 9:30 for a writing date (it was supposed to be nine, but see: inability to get out of bed). I only had it in me to go for a couple of hours, and I think most of what I wrote was complete crap, but that's how it goes when getting back into the story after several days away.

After that, Kathia and I parted ways, and I came home, messed around on the internet, showered, and then met a friend from work for lunch. A burger and a glass of wine at Roam turned into two more glasses of wine at Des Amis, and it was all v. delightful and entertaining and mostly civilized. Sadly, the friend had to return to the south bay after that, so I came home and called my parents, who seemed to be in fine spirits. Or I suppose they're in as fine a spirits as one can be when one has found a tombstone in one's pile of rocks - this happens to other people too, right?

My parental conversations ended in due course, and I really just wanted to curl up on the couch and watch 'Drunk History' (or my eyelids), but I forced myself to text Kathia and see if she wanted to do another writing date. She was in it to win it, so we went back to Des Amis, where I had another glass of wine and got another four v. hardfought pages that I'm (mostly) proud of. Then we ordered dinner, Todd (my fave manager) joined us, and Kathia's husband showed up, so that made for quite the round of socializing.

And now, I should really be smart and get some sleep so that I can survive the week ahead - goodnight!

many are strong at the broken places

I'm horridly, brutally exhausted, and my heart is eating itself. I tried to keep myself going by going to Des Amis (rocking my librarian-like glasses and a pair of leggings as pants, which is a sure sign I've reached the end of my days), where I had chicken and two glasses of wine and some quality time with my journal. And it definitely helped to center me, even if it didn't make me less tired. They take care of me in a v. home-like way, and I feel safe and warm there even if it's weird that I'm sitting alone in the lounge with my laptop like a crazy person while other fancy people make out and enjoy each other's company.

But their caretaking means that I can get work done even when I'm too tired to contemplate the idea of continuing. I didn't write tonight, but I wrote down all the thoughts my conference experience spurred about what I need to do for my writing career in the next few months. And I followed up with some people post-conference - not everyone I want to follow up with, but a more admirable effort than what I usually make twenty-four hours after getting home.

However, I think it's time for me to take a break from screens and try to sleep nine or so hours so that tomorrow isn't quite so brutal - goodnight!