a new dawn, a new day, a new life

I'm going to write a rare morning post because I just checked last night's post and it was incomprehensible to the point of concern. I wasn't actually that drunk...I was just exhausted (I hadn't stayed up until 2:30 in a long time, and I'm still a little bit on midwestern time, so it definitely felt like 3:30 or 4:30), and I remember falling asleep over my keyboard and having trouble remembering the words that I wanted to use. So, suffice it to say I had a good time, but I was merely in the same state of mind that I was during that memorable Stanford finals period where I tried to argue in a paper that Russian intellectuals like to eat at Senor Taco - I was not at the point where someone had roofied me. And, like that paper, I've awoken with a clear head and can rectify my mistakes in time.

sssanyway. Yesterday was totally lovely; I took the day off (shocker) in the interest of seeing friends and having some semblance of a life. Priyanka's birthday was last week, so Adit invited a bunch of people over for what was supposed to be a lunch party. It should surprise none of you that a lunch party turned into an all day/all night extravaganza of fun. I went over a little after noon and spent close to three hours hanging out in their house and backyard, catching up with them, John and Jess, and some other randoms (who are probably not randoms to Adit and Priyanka, but they were to me and I intend to keep them that way because I'm a curmudgeon who has no time for new friends). I also, quite shockingly, saw one of my first managers from my first go-round at the day job oh-so-many years ago; his younger sister is also friends with Adit/Priyanka, and they apparently hang out with Bill sometimes as well. I did not know this. I also didn't know he was still alive (hence my shock); the last I had heard, he'd been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer a year and a half ago, and since neither I nor any of my friends at work had heard any further updates, I kind of assumed that the statistical odds of living with stage four lung cancer (very low) had claimed him. But he looked good and seemed to be in good spirits despite having had chemo every three weeks for the past sixteen months. Crazy.

I left the party around three to come home for another crazy development...some researcher at USC wanted to interview me about this blog for research he's doing, and he had a film crew with him who are filming a documentary on people who blog frequently about their personal lives. I knew I was a dying breed in this respect, since I have no friends who still blog and most blogs are now career-focused (i.e. fashion or food blogs where the person is hoping to build an audience/get ad revenue). But apparently I'm such a dying breed that my blog may be of interest to 'science' and there are potentially other researchers out there who have/will scrape it because I've got what must be approaching a million words of free content about daily life. Odd.

But the people were v. nice; the researcher asked me some questions, and then the documentary guy asked me some questions, and two other guys filmed it all. And I suppose my key takeaway is that I don't care that this is public, since I came to terms years ago about what I share here (my daily life in all its minutiae) and what I don't (some personal subjects, emotional reactions to or criticisms about friends, family, coworkers, other writers, etc.). And I will probably only stop if Sara Ramsey gets so famous that this becomes a liability, but even then I might just keep going and be more circumspect.

For what it's worth, the researcher also said that I was very good (better than most of the other subjects) at keeping my identity secret - which surprised me, since I wasn't trying that hard, and also since my blog is one of the first search results for my actual name. But I suppose that's by design - if you know who I am, I'm very easy to find, but if you find the blog first, it's harder to identify my full name. Similarly, you can get to Sara Ramsey easily from here, but it takes more digging to get here if you start with my writing name. And I think that's probably a good thing.

After the researcher left, I ate some leftover Thai and considered writing for the rest of the night...but my hair and makeup were better than usual, and I succumbed to the lure of going back to Adit and Priyanka's. I had a most excellent time at the second part of the party; Katrina was there, and Chandlord eventually came back (for the third time, although the first two were during my initial absence), and I built a friendship with Jesse (aka Jasvinder) and Maya - Jesse was in SLE with me, although I'd forgotten that since I wasn't a model pupil and we lived in different dorms. I may have drunkenly promised him that he could be my maid of honor someday, so that's something. I also drank a lot of bourbon (which I don't like) and red wine (which I know I shouldn't drink heavily because it gives me headaches), plus a tequila shot, and this is a recipe for the kind of post I wrote last night.

We did karaoke for hours, but Chandlord/Jesse/Maya/I plotted our escape a little after midnight and went to Sparky's, where I had a v. restorative two-egg breakfast with bacon and hash browns and coffee (which did nothing to help me stay awake to blog last night). Then, Chandlord and I shared a taxi home, I was sober enough to wash my face and brush my teeth before writing that disaster of a blog post, and then I fell immediately into a deep, deep slumber.

Now you're caught up, my head doesn't really hurt (thank you, poisonous Diet Mountain Dew), and it's time for me to get cracking. Good day!

you already won me over

I wanted to stay up and write tonight, but I'm beyond exhausted; going back to the day job on five hours of sleep wasn't the best move in the world, even if there was nothing I could do to change it. But, I got up in time to stop at a coffeeshop on the way out of the city and grab a latte, so I survived the drive down to the glorious south bay. Then, I sat in a mixture of meetings all day, with just enough time at my desk to get caught up on some stuff without having enough time to actually fall asleep in my chair.

But, rather than drive home and risk killing myself, I left my car on campus and took the shuttle home, which gave me an hour and a half to sleep. Then, I answered a few Sara Ramsey emails and wrote for half an hour, which netted me a page and a half -- not the million pages I wanted to write, but it's a page and a half more than I had before, so I'll take it. I need to get better about writing in those odd twenty or thirty minute chunks between activities, rather than feeling like I can only write when I have hours stretching out in front of me.

I threw in the towel when Terry got home, though, and we had a roommate dinner at Tortilla Heights. There was much to catch up on since I'd been gone and she has also taken a trip to NYC during my absence, so we caught up over margaritas and too many chips. Then we came home, I came upstairs with the intention of writing (but got sucked into some more Sara Ramsey email/business stuff), and only wrote another few sentences before realizing I would be better served by going to bed. But hopefully I can write tomorrow night, and all day Sunday - Saturday is potentially turning into a wash, unless my jetlag continues and I get up at six a.m. of my own accord. Goodnight!

i will wait, i will wait for you

Today was both tamer and way more frantic than yesterday. In case you couldn't tell, I had four drinks last night (well, three drinks plus a sniff and a bit of a sideeye at this nasty white zinfandel that I was served in the hotel bar). This would normally not be that much, but the first two were on an empty stomach, which turned me into a total lunatic. So, this morning was rough. Sadly, it was the only morning that I needed to be 'on' during this event; I had two panels back to back, and a book signing this afternoon, so I was totally wrecked by the end of it. But, both panels went really well, and I signed books and met fans, and it was all lovely!

Sadly, you don't get any more than this; my roommates are trying to sleep, and I want to sleep like nine hours tonight, which isn't quite possible since I need to get up in less than eight. Boo. Goodnight!

every second of the night i live another life

Sadly, I must go to work early tomorrow. In some ways it's sad that I have to go to work at all...but not really. I actually really like my job, and I'm excited about it. I just wish that I could sleep for nine hours every night and still get everything done that I want to get done. But until my ambition decreases or my hourly productivity rate increases, I suppose that's not really physically possible.

Anyway, today was good; I worked from home a bit in the morning to avoid traffic, and got into the office around 10:30. Then I slogged all day; I only had two meetings, which was nice, so I was able to get some other stuff done. Then I met up with Terry at Fiesta del Mar for a roommate dinner; it was good to catch up, and, no offense to Terry, even better to drink a margarita and stuff myself silly with chips. Yes, my priorities are skewed, and yes, I know this is why I will die alone (but with a well-marinated liver).

I did no writing today, which is a shame - but my ideas are still exciting even in the light of day, so I'm planning to get some writing in tomorrow despite today's lapse. Or perhaps I won't write and instead will order my stupid postcards/bookmarks/business cards/swag/whatever. Ugh. On that note, it's time for bed - goodnight!

kreuzberg sonata

I'm in San Juan! And I'm quite tired, although I suspect sleeping will be difficult since I will probably be jetlagged. However, I'm having an awesome time so far, even if the day just involved sitting around. My flights were all on schedule, which meant I landed in Charlotte at what felt like 3am for me and had to kill almost four hours there in a haze of exhaustion. But that airport is a v. nice place to be dazed; there was a cool atrium with rocking chairs, where I spent forty-five minutes people watching, and I took a nap somewhere else, and I had breakfast, so it all worked out. Then, my flight from Charlotte to San Juan was uneventful, getting a taxi was uneventful, and arriving at the house was uneventful.

The house, though, is totally awesome - Ritu found a vacation rental that is totally lovely, with a cool indoor/outdoor living room and a couple of cute bedrooms/bathrooms. It's in a great location in Old San Juan, with a door that looks straight out to the ocean, and is right next to a fort and near lots of cafes and bars. Ritu and Bill were off doing a rainforest tour thing, so I showered, changed into something more respectable, avoided the temptation of the bed, and went down the street to find something to eat and drink while I waited for them...

...and I ended up at Cafe Berlin, which proved to be almost the only thing I saw in San Juan today. I stayed there from 3:30 to 5:30, eating ceviche and caprese salad and drinking a mojito and a diet coke while waiting for my friends. I also did some journaling in a v. desultory way. When Ritu and Bill finally arrived, we ended up ordering another drink...and then another...and then some dinner...and we ultimately ended up staying there for another four hours on top of the two I'd already been there. Yes, that's totally ridiculous. But there was a cute outdoor patio overlooking a plaza, and the food was good, and the drinks were tasty although they were clearly weak given how sober I am in relation to how many drinks we had. Finally, we moved on and wandered around Old San Juan for a bit; there were clearly preparations for Good Friday going on in the streets, and the night was bustling, so that was cool. The city is super charming, with narrow cobblestone streets and cool houses built around inner courtyards, so I'm looking forward to exploring it more tomorrow.

But now, I really must try to sleep - yes, sleep is for the weak, but I don't want to get bronchitis again, and I have many more days of drinking and carousing to pace myself through. Goodnight!

just say yes

Another day, another endless reacquaintance with the Microsoft office suite. Yes, I should be using the Google online office products instead. However, when my skills at PowerPoint are rusty and my skills at Google Presentations are even rustier, and I have to get something out immediately, I'll take the enemy over the friend. Yes, I make bad life decisions based solely on current expediency - don't we all?

Anyway, I slept until seven, which was blissful (how sad is it that seven is blissful now? the 'me' from three months ago is sobbing hysterically in the darkest reaches of my heart right now), and actually had time to dry my hair and put on makeup and a dress and everything before catching the shuttle. I slogged on a spreadsheet all the way to work, then slogged some more, then spent what should have been my lunch break having a quick call with my agent (nothing to report, although we were discussing plans for the next year - it all went well, but I have a lot of writing to do...). Since I didn't actually have lunch, I suddenly realized at two p.m. that I was about to die if I didn't put away the spreadsheet and eat, so I grabbed a v. belated lunch in one of the cafes while continuing to work on powerpoint. I sent the first draft to my manager, had a quick chat with Heather (aka dear respected madam), and then got feedback back...but there wasn't time to incorporate it before I left, since I had dinner plans with the friendship renewal crew.

It was a bigger group than usual; it's rare that it's more than four, but Lizzie is in town for the week, and Sarah was able to make it for the first time in awhile, so Joann, Jane, Tolu and I had two more people than usual. We went to Fiesta (my fave) and had a v. lovely time catching up. Then, I drove Sarah back to the evil city with me (lovely, since a) I adore her and b) it kept me from falling asleep), dropped her off, and came home, where I stared at my laptop and tried to remember how to do the things I needed to do to finish this blasted deck (that part of me that is sobbing hysterically in the darkest reaches of my heart is also sad that when I say 'deck' now, it's more likely to reference a powerpoint presentation than a pirate ship).

But I'm all done, and the thing has been sent to the appropriate parties, and I'm going to go to bed before the wailing and gnashing of teeth begins. Actually, I'm predicting no wailing and gnashing other than my own, since I have no doubt they'll just ask me to dig up more info and make more slides, and I can do that in the morning. Goodnight!

bittersweet symphony

This weekend has involved more hanging out than my last several weeks put together (unless you count Tahoe, I suppose, but since I got bronchitis directly after that I've sort of forgotten that lovely interlude). Today was almost entirely hanging out, which I didn't exactly anticipate, but I think I'm glad for my sanity that I just leaned in and seized the day (do you think Sheryl wants us to lean in to our social lives too?).

The day started with sleeping until almost eleven, which was v. necessary. Then, I did some desultory grooming, etc., and Terry and I went over to the general Dolores Park area to grab lunch at one of my favorite cafes before going to a birthday party. The cafe was great, and I definitely had a pang of missing my previously carefree cafe lifestyle (even if these cafes are ones I have to pay for, where the cafes I eat in now are all free and mostly excellent). Post-cafe, we went to the park for Dan's birthday party. It was, quite ridiculously, set up in the midst of Bear Fest (or some such named event). If you're not in the know (because you haven't lived in SF or you didn't spend six months getting paid to review porn ads), you can read more about bears on wikipedia - suffice it to say they have nothing to do with ursine mammals and everything to do with large, hairy gay men, many of whom seem to enjoy being shirtless and growing beards and occasionally wearing leather. Dan had apparently gotten there and staked out an area in the park well before the bears showed up, but they set up all around us in an effort to seize the territory, and we refused to leave, so there was a cautious, if frosty, standoff for the rest of the afternoon.

But the party was delightful, even if I did see some dude (not a bear) lying on the ground and peeing into the grass (luckily for him, he was peeing downhill, but I didn't appreciate the visual, particularly since I saw it right as I was calling my mother to tell her that I wasn't dead even though I hadn't called at my usual hour). We hung out for several hours drinking wine and scotch, and I made some new friends (shocking, I know), and it was a perfect day to be in the park. Terry left at some point, as did John and Jess, but I went back to Dan's house (two blocks away) and played Cards Against Humanity for a little bit.

Sadly, I had to bounce, and I made it over to Adit and Priyanka's in time to have dinner with them at Nopalito. Dinner was tasty, and the company was delightful, even if it did remind me that I had dream last night that I had gone to work at Facebook and was trying to find a sweatshirt in the FB onsite store so that I could fit in there. Heh. They were v. kind and drove me home, which was lovely since I would have had to take a cab instead, so my day ended on a v. lovely note. And now, properly rejuvenated by a weekend of extroversion, I'm going to return to my introversion and try to get massive amounts of stuff done this week - wish me luck. Goodnight!

time can do so much

I continue to be in Tahoe, which should not surprise you, since no one comes up here for the night (except for the time I came up with John just to drop off the top to his convertible and have a sandwich with his dad before turning around and going back to Stanford, but obviously that was one of the many strange and bad decisions I made back in the day, so we'll leave it at that). Today was lovely, though; I was in desperate need of a break, as should be obvious from the increasingly frenetic language of my previous posts. And today was totally a break. We had a v. leisurely breakfast in the cabin, despite me being called out for my overly controlling nature in the kitchen/life (I'm just trying to hack y'all, you know - it's not a judgment, just an attempt to unearth the most optimal outcomes). Then, Subz and Terry went skiing while Nathan and I retreated to our separate corners with our laptops. I had intended not to work, and I didn't *really* work - but I did do some Prudence/Alex brainstorming, and set up some marketing campaigns, and answer some email, and tweet some tweets...

...so yeah, I continue to suck at taking vacation. Sorry, me. But it was all lowkey, and Nathan and I took a coffee break, which was nice. Eventually, we met up with Lauren and Terry at the village for some apres-ski action (that's 'drinking', for those of you who don't speak French). We had some fantastic tacos at some Mexican place, and then we found seats by a fire pit, where I indulged in a glass of wine and a fantastic hot chocolate with vanilla vodka and butterscotch liqueur, which may have been too sweet, but I was past the point of caring. We came home, spent some quality time in the hot tub, and eventually went back into the village for a late (and, consequently, hurried) dinner at the sushi place in the village. We had to get our act together because it turns out the shuttle closes at ten p.m. - this is such a family establishment that it's apparently unheard of for anyone to want a drink past 9:30. Crazy. But the sushi was fantastic, and the company was even moreso.

And now, after much hanging out and merrymaking and winedrinking and all the rest, I should go to bed. My only regret is that I couldn't do this weekend twice; Pincubus was in San Francisco today, but I got my dates mixed up and double-booked myself, and so I missed him. Sad, because I love him, and also because today looked like an amazing day in the city. Sigh. But Tahoe has been lovely, and I really needed a break, so I'm looking forward to another day of fun tomorrow. Goodnight!

born to run

Obviously, I should have posted this last night - I never post at eleven a.m. But last night ended sometime after five in the morning, and when I finally got to my laptop, I was capable of neither thought nor typing, so a blog post didn't happen.

However, I feel it is imperative to verify that I am still alive. Last night started, as all of my bad decisions do, with a v. low-key, romantic dinner with Adit (some people call him the cat). Or rather, I had intended to have a low-key dinner (my original suggestion was Korean hot pot), but it turned fancy when we ended up at Central Kitchen, a place that sounds like it should be part of some food court full of off-brand chains, but is actually the kind of place that has the gumption to charge $23 for an "entree" where the main ingredient is celery root. Wtf, man...wtf. Also, there were more white people there, in a higher white:nonwhite ratio, than I've seen anywhere since eating at a buffet-style restaurant with my sister at Christmas, which is bizarre and unusual in San Francisco.

But the food was good, albeit overpriced and pretentious - although if I were to have a low-key, romantic dinner in the future, I'd rather go to Mission Beach Cafe for that level of expenditure. The ambiance was cool, though. I'm pretty sure our waiter was drunk, but he seemed like a nice dude. And he asked us if we were in the food industry, so I must have looked hip enough with my weird sweater poncho to not drag Adit down, since Adit always looks hip (do kids still say 'hip' these days?) - the chef asked the waiter to ask us, since the chef thought he recognized Adit. Ha.

The wine was excellent, though...and that's where my troubles began. We split a bottle, which was an aggressive move on what I had intended to be a low-key night. But I was destined for trouble anyway. I was in a celebratory mood, since I seem to have fought off the flu (which will undoubtedly sneak back in and try to kill me since I let my guard down last night). And more importantly, my next book is suddenly, awesomely/regrettably coming out next week - the Nook people want to feature it as part of their Valentine's Day promo, which is fantastic news, but also means I need to work all weekend. But I hadn't taken a break, or hung out for an appreciable length of time, or done anything beyond the occasional dinner, in what feels like months...(but maybe hasn't been months, although I feel like a total hermit)...and so that half-bottle of wine turned into the beginning of a fun, slow-motion trainwreck.

Post-dinner, we joined Chandlord, Katrina, and Raja at the adjacent bar, where the drinks are printed on a booklet of Pantone paint chips (I love/hate SF) and had a cocktail. Then, we went to another bar, where I asked Adit to order me a vodka cranberry and he came back with a whisky ginger, which are two of my least favorite things...and yet I drank the whole damn glass. Then Katrina and Raja parted ways with us, and Chandlord, Adit and I continued to a third bar, where Adit and I each had two drinks while the three of us played Jenga on the bar (and we were surprisingly good considering our levels of inebriation). Then, since Chandlord had stopped drinking hours earlier and yet was somehow still up for hanging out with two drunken fools, she drove my car to Safeway, where we bought cheese and gluten-free bread, and then we went back to Adit's and made grilled cheese and egg sandwiches. Of course, we had to open a bottle of wine to go with that (mistake #20 of the night)...and then we did whisper karaoke until five, which started as real karaoke until Adit found out, via angry text, that his neighbor was still home rather than gone for the weekend like he had thought. Oops.

sssanyway, Chandlord dropped me off at home, then took my car to her place, so I'll have to retrieve it at some point - but going to her place to get it is much more convenient than going to 20th and Harrison, so I'm v. glad she has it. And now you're all caught up, and I need to get over my headache so that I can proofread - have a lovely day!

when the lights go down in the city

There is sadness in San Francisco tonight. Granted, the pragmatic, doesn't-want-to-die prepper part of me is glad that the 49ers fans didn't burn the city down to celebrate winning, but the competitive side of me is v. sad that we lost.

But today was lovely. I woke up around 8:30, showered, made myself some breakfast, and wrote for about three hours (and by 'wrote' I mean 'edited', if that matters to you). Then, I talked to my parents earlier than usual before going downstairs to help Terry with the preparations for her Super Bowl party. In normal circumstances we would have both invited people, but a) I care about football whole orders of magnitude less than I care about the Olympics, and b) as you may have gathered from a read between the subtle lines of my blog, I'm trying to finish writing Ellie and Nick's book. So, I didn't invite anyone myself, but I love the people she invited (Lauren (aka Subz), Nathan, Fred, Jamie, Angela, and Lauren/Nathan's friend Mary, who wasn't invited formally but was a v. welcome addition). Terry pulled together the vast majority of the party, including some delish crab dip, her homemade guacamole, and other appetizers. She also made a baked potato bar, which was winning. I contributed a pitcher of mojitos (dangerous, since I think I drank half of them), my verging-on-famous chili (which I made a double batch of, so I'll be eating it later this week), and I grilled the lemon chicken skewers that she had skewered earlier in the day while the chili was cooking, since it was better for me to stay in the kitchen where I belonged than to pay attention to the game.

But I missed less of the game than I might have, since the infamous power outage happened while I was pulling the last bit of stuff together. And the post-power outage comeback was magical, and would have been truly epic if we had won. Unfortunately, not winning put a damper on things, and everyone pretty much left immediately, although Nathan and Lauren chose to watch an episode of "New Girl" with us until Terry was ready to drive them home so that they weren't subjected to outrageous surge-level pricing on Uber (a transportation/cab app, for those of you who don't live in SF/NYC). Although I suppose I should mention that we did watch more of "Puppy Bowl IX" than I had expected before everyone left. Also, I'm a little glad that the Ravens won, solely because the Ravens' owner looks like a true mafia don who would have killed John Harbaugh on the field if he had lost. As much as I would have liked to have seen that, I suppose it's best if both Harbaughs live to fight another day.

And now, I must sleep; apparently I have to go to the office or something tomorrow? Ridiculous. Goodnight!

dynamite with a laser beam

So, as you know, I stayed in San Jose last night. This meant that getting ready was slightly less streamlined since I had to do it out of an overnight bag rather than my well-stocked cabinet of potions and beauty aids, but I think I pulled it together. And the lack of streamlined efficiency was made up for by the fact that the commute (especially since Heather drove me back via the carpool lane) was less than half an hour. Magical. So, I was in time for my nine a.m. meeting (barbaric), and then I slogged pretty hardcore all day. Or maybe it just felt hardcore because I barely ate anything; I didn't get a chance to grab breakfast other than a gluten-free snack bar, which was half the size of a normal snack bar since zee man is apparently trying to cut our calories (the days of gallon-size m&m dispensers are long, long gone). And when I went to the nearest cafe to grab lunch, their only entree option had gluten in it, so I had to have a v. subpar salad that made me feel sad and vaguely ill. Yes, first world problems - but I do not like not getting enough meat, and this all upset me.

So, when I was done slogging for the day, I went to Starbucks and successfully wrote for an hour (surprising, right?). Then, I met up with Joann and Jane for a friendship renewal dinner (sans Tolu) at my favorite Mexican restaurant near work. And I continue to have an odd relationship with the wait staff there, in particular with one of the waiters, who rather inappropriately rubs my back when asking if I want a margarita. But, he comped our drinks and brought guacamole on the house...which makes me wonder if this is the equivalent of whoring myself out. I don't know. All I know is the margaritas are awesome and I don't think he's ever going to roofie me, so I'll keep going. Yay.

Anyway, Joann and Jane were in good form, and we had a lot to catch up on, so that was super fun. Then, I drove my car home since I didn't want to have to drive it back tomorrow, and I meant to write...but I'm a bit too tired for it. So I cleaned up several scenes, made some notes of tiny things I need to fix, and took care of some promo stuff. And now, I must go to bed immediately so that I can catch the shuttle tomorrow - goodnight!

ho hey

I must go to bed immediately because, due to an absurdly bad decision on my part, I must get up in less than four hours so that I can go to the airport and head for Iowa. The 'head for Iowa' decision was not the bad segment of that statement, but the fact that I booked at 5:30am flight was just sheer stupidity on my part.

Aggravating the stupidity was the choice Terry and I made to host a small holiday soiree tonight, so I'm drunk on life (and by life I mean eggnog) and really *really* not in the mood to take a flight tomorrow. But the party was worth it -- many of my favorite people came, including most of the usual suspects (Chandlord, Fred and Jamie, Adit and Priyanka, John and Jess, Katrina, Dan, Lauren and Nathan (aka Subz and Subz-ma'am-sir), Tom and Minnie, Julie, Rat (in a special guest appearance from Bangalore), etc.) And I made two soups, two types of cookie, a lemon cake, and a whole vat (aka a punch bowl, which is rarely seen in these parts) of homemade eggnog, which was to die for. Many jhokes were told and much merriment was made, including a dramatic reading of part of one of the sex scenes from my first book + some dramatically terrible color commentary on the Niners game (from those of us who know next to nothing about football, which either amused or infuriated those who cared about the game).

So now that I have reconnected with my friends for three hours after my marathon/sprint to finish Nick and Ellie, I must bid them all farewell, sleep for three hours, and go to Iowa. Goodnight!

hey there delilah

Today was a little bizarre...the school shooting in Connecticut was obviously awful, and I have no words to describe it, but I also was too mentally exhausted to handle watching hours of coverage about it, so I tried to take care of other stuff on my list instead. I didn't sleep all that well last night, likely because I was in a strange bed and my back is still hurting, but I spent a couple of quality hours hanging out, drinking tea, and checking email before driving to Mountain View to have a v. quick lunch with the big boss. She's just as busy as she ever was, it seems, and it had taken a couple of months to get time on her calendar - so even though we only had half an hour to catch up, I was still glad to see her and reconnect (that sounds so business-y - we basically just talked about my books/career and her career/life, which wasn't nearly as business-y as it sounds).

Post-big boss, I went to Michael's (the craft store) to get some Christmas crafty stuff. Yes, I've gone over the deep end. But it was all already discounted, and there wasn't much on my list - fake snow was the key ingredient, and I got some absurdly glittery fake flowers, which I did something legitimately cool with despite what they sound like. Then I drove home, with a stop at Lowe's to return a plastic christmas tree stand and buy new lightbulbs for the entry light fixture, and some absurd city traffic that was already springing up at 2:45pm. Then I talked to my parents for quite some time to catch them up on my life and hear all about the many and varied things they've been up to.

And then, I drank half a bottle of wine and decorated like I'm a crazy woman, which is probably true since I chose to hang out drinking wine and decorating rather than going with Terry to her holiday party. It's not like I bailed on her, since I'd refused the invitation when it was extended due to the fact that I knew finishing my book was going to wipe me out. But she seemed to enjoy drinking and watching me decorate before she went to her party. I put up garland and lights over the fireplace, I fixed the rocking chair (not broken, but the felt on the bottom of one of the rockers was hanging off), replaced lightbulbs, and made a glittery floral arrangement and a bunch of little terrarium type things with fake snow and glitter flowers. I realize as I type that that those decorations sound truly hideous, but I promise they're pretty cool - perhaps I'll take pictures to demonstrate. But for now, I really need to go to bed; I have grand plans to grocery shop, alcohol shop, make cookies, and pack for Iowa tomorrow, and since I've barely slept this week, my bed seems mighty appealing. Goodnight!

i belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart

Hello! I had too much eggnog.

But I will continue to write this blog post as though I've never imbibed any alcohol in my life, since I like to pretend that I'm sober and see whether I can make it through the post without typos. Today was less productive than I had intended; I was out of bed around nine-ish, and I made myself an awesome breakfast (three slices of bacon, one egg, and one slice of gluten-free toast, where the limiting reagent was the toast; I only had one slice of bread left in the freezer, and runny eggs sans toast is a tragedy, so I had to cut back on the eggs this morning). Then I thoroughly cleaned the kitchen because I am turning into my mother. Then I reread what I wrote yesterday, did some light edits, and pronounced myself satisfied with what I had produced (miracle!).

But I had to go to the glorious south bay today, which interfered with everything. First it interfered with my writing; I had to shower, get dressed, dry my hair, and do all those other things grownups supposedly do. Then, I went to my optometrist, who pronounced my eyes to be wonderful, but not before he dilated them, which made the drive home and most of this evening just a little odd. Then I drove home during the beginning of rush hour (not really a good thing to have done, since I'm considering getting a job, and rush hour reminds me how wonderful my current shindig is). And then I had to work on my Christmas list, since I knew that if I didn't send it to my mother today, she would kill me...

I took a rebellious break, though, and had dinner with Lauren (aka Subz, aka the bride in that epic wedding I went to last month) and Terry (aka my long-suffering roommate who came home to discover that I was singing to the same song over and over and over again, as is my wont). The food was tasty (fish tacos), the wine was also tasty (a pinot grigio that was more of a rose (row-ZAY, but I'm too lazy to find the little accent to go over the 'e'), and a pinot noir), and the company was tasty (I refrained from licking either of them). Then, Terry and I dragged Lauren back to our place, and I made a small batch of egg nog to get in the holiday mood (not hard, since you'll be in the holiday mood just mixing the stuff up - even the fumes are potent).

But Lauren left long ago, and Terry went to bed an hour and a half ago, and I'm just quietly rocking out alone with my last glass of eggnog and the feeling of satisfaction over sending my Christmas list before [censored] did, thus winning yet another skirmish in our interminable sibling rivalry. [censored] will win the war when he takes excellent care of our parents someday while I just throw money at the problem, but for tonight, I reign supreme. I shall go rest on my eggnog-soaked laurels now...goodnight!

don't pay no mind to the demons, they'll fill you with fear

Today was exactly the day I wanted to have - v. productive, with a v. lovely end, and only a little bit of broken glass and spilled wine along the way. I woke up a little after eight, messed around on the interwebs, did the first of three loads of laundry, showered, blowdried my hair, and proceeded to my favorite cafe down the street for some restorative huevos rancheros (not that there was much in need of restoration, since I wasn't hung over, but I had no food in the house and so had to go out). When I got home, I spent almost an hour on the phone with my agent - no news to report, but we were discussing possible launch strategies for Ellie and Nick, whether to redo my covers, marketing schemes, etc., etc. I'm feeling good about all of that; Ellie and Nick will almost certainly come out later than I had hoped, but it will be a better book because of it (or at least I can tell myself that).

sssanyway, after talking to my agent (I'm going to keep saying 'my agent' in as pretentious a way as possible), I went to the post office to pick up the mail they couldn't deliver, then went to the grocery store and stocked up for my impending week of solitude (that's a gross distortion, of course). Then I came home, put away the clothes that were done and started another load, took care of some little but necessary tasks, changed clothes (because I live like a Regency lady and must wear multiple outfits a day), and then took a bus up to Pac Heights, where I wrote for a couple of hours. And I'm happy with what I wrote; I had to scrap an early scene and rewrite it, and I got about six new pages this afternoon, which I will take.

Eventually, though, it was time to meet up with Lauren (aka Subz) for dinner and a long-overdue debrief from her wedding and honeymoon and everything we've each been up to since then. I hadn't seen her since the day after the wedding, since she left immediately thereafter for her honeymoon and I was in Iowa by the time she got back. So, we had much to discuss, although it got off to a poor start when our server dropped Lauren's wine as she was serving it, shattering the glass on the table and getting wine all over the place. They moved us to a different table, but brought us a free and unwanted dessert rather than comping our drinks, which I thought was a little annoying. However, the food was delicious (a papaya salad, a crab with cellophane noodles, and a chicken claypot that I thought was thebomb.com). And Lauren and I talked for over two hours, which was very lovely; luckily, my arrangement of an afterparty at her wedding was taken as a fun thing to have done rather than a sign of how trashy I am, so we're still friends and hope to remain that way. Or at least I hope to remain that way - I try not to scare her off, although I did mention that I hoped there was a good photo of us from her wedding so that I could put it in a heart-shaped frame on my desk. She took it well.

And now that I've walked home and probably destroyed me feet again (the hill down from Pac Heights is so steep that there are ~3 blocks that have stairs cut into the sidewalk), I should really sleep - I want to finish that scene tomorrow and power through some more edits, and I should theoretically go to this Sound of Music singalong thingy, so sleep is crucial. Goodnight!

a beauty and the beat

I am embarrassed with myself for quoting a Bieber song in the title, but we'll all just have to deal with it. I have successfully returned to San Francisco, after a v. long day of continuing to be my alter ego, followed by reverting swiftly to my real identity so that I could spend some time with an old boss, followed by sitting in DFW airport and talking to strangers because my flight was delayed.

But first things first...I actually made it to breakfast on time this morning, and discovered that Sarah MacLean and Eloisa James were sitting at my table, which was super fun and surprising. The breakfast itself was utterly ridiculous for reasons that I won't go into in a semi-public forum (okay, one reason: the author who hosted the entire breakfast did a Q&A that ended up revolving around her own sex life, which made me incredibly uncomfortable). But I had an awesome time at the conference, and I'm invited back for next year, so I'll have to figure out my conference schedule and see whether it makes sense to go again or try somewhere new.

Post conference, I finished packing, then drove to another side of Dallas to hang out with Laura for a few hours. She was a director in my group way back in 2007/2008 (the one who was really into crafting), but her family lives in Dallas (although she's now working in San Antonio and going back to Dallas on the weekends). It was so great to see her and get to catch up, since it had been over a year since I had seen her; she seems to be doing well, and her son is applying to colleges, which is hard to believe. They sent me on my way around 4:30, and I successfully got to DFW, returned my rental car, got to the airport...and discovered my flight was delayed by an hour. Boo. So I had enchiladas and a couple of margaritas at a cantina type place in the airport, where I befriended a guy in the oil industry who was flying back to Alaska tonight. Then I grabbed a latte, talked to my parents for awhile, and then had a v. uneventful flight back to San Francisco. And now, alas, I should sleep; I know I say this every day, but tomorrow really does need to be all about the writing. Goodnight!

it's a nice day for a white wedding

Lauren and Nathan are married! Really, that's all the detail you need. I am beyond thrilled for them, and had such an awesome day getting ready and celebrating with them. Actually, I woke up at five a.m. because I was so excited (or hungover, not clear), and I didnt really sleep after that. Oops. Anyway, I had a lovely time getting ready - I'm low maintenance, but compared to the other bridesmaids I'm like a makeup addict, so the hair and makeup artists had fun with me. Beyond that, I'm so happy that I got to hang out with Lauren while she prepared - it was so awesome, and she looked beautiful. And when she started to panic five minutes before the ceremony and all the new mothers on her bridal party (since all the bridesmaids other than me had babies under a year old) were just panicking as well, I calmly did what I'm trained to do - I found a bottle of tequila and some limes, and Lauren, her sister, and I had small shots before progressing to the future.

Anyway, the wedding was beyond awesome. The tables were gorgeous, the food was wonderful, and I got to sit by the people who have my love and yet spurn it (aka Vidya and kafria$. And the reception and band were awesome, and I had a small afterparty that resulted in jessica getting body checked, but that's the price you pay, rights? nd now I have to vote - good luck!

[editors note from the next morning: I never go back and fix typos, so I will let the last paragraph go unchanged despite it being a trainwreck, but in my defense I was typing on my iPad while falling asleep, and it autocorrected me in some strange ways. Not really sure how Katrina became kafria$, but maybe I'll start calling her that all the time]

but i won't stop until that boy is mine

I need to go to bed right now - I need to get up in eight hours to get ready for this wedding that I'm in (have you heard about it?), so sleep is vital if I'm going to look great in the photos without presenting too much of a challenge to the makeup artist (although if she's an artiste, she's surely up for it). Today was a lovely celebration of Lauren and Nathan (mostly Lauren) - I hung out with Lauren this morning and made her some eggs using whatever I scrounged up in her kitchen, and then we went down to Carmel-by-the-Sea (see previous post) for a lunch hosted by her grandmother (whom they all call Beauty) for the bridesmaids and immediate female relatives. It was totally lovely, and the food was to die for, which seems to be a theme at this wedding.

Post lunch, Lauren, Devon (her twin), and I went for manis and pedis before heading back to the ranch (which sounds waaaaay more rustic than it is) for rehearsal. After we were properly rehearsed, we went into Carmel Valley (see previous post) for the rehearsal dinner, which was v fitting with the vibe for this weekend - a fabulously gorgeous venue and a casual but delicious food offering. They had a taco truck (which doesn't do justice to how delicious the tacos were - I should have had ten of them), and the brought out hot chocolate and churros to finish it off. And my toast went quite well, if I do say so myself - I achieved the optimal alcohol:coherency ratio and was able to say what I wanted to say, so yay.

Post dinner, we adjourned to a wine tasting room across the street for welcome reception for everyone who was already in town, where I reunited with Terry after a v traumatic 32 hours apart. And I continued my quest to meet everyone at the wedding - I should have gotten them to stamp a card for me or something. We shut the place down (sorry, liver, and sorry face, which has to try to not look puffy in the photos tomorrow) at 10:30ish, and then John, Jess, and I played dice in the game room at the ranch (again, not rustic) and caught up since I've been a total hermit for days (weeks, months). But now, sleep. And tomorrow, if all goes well, Lauren and Nathan will get married - and, since I introduced them, they will owe me forever. Yay to indebtedness! Goodnight!

show me a garden that's bursting into life

I am in Carmel Valley, which is not to be confused with Carmel-by-the-Sea for reasons that should be obvious to anyone with a moderate grasp of the English language. I spent the morning getting ready and eating a subpar breakfast, but I left all of that behind me and drove down here this afternoon, with a brief but crucial stop in Gilroy to procure clear deodorant and a venti-sized vat of caffeine.

Properly fueled, I made it down to Carmel Valley around 3:45 and checked into my room, which is gorgeous and close as one can possibly be to the wedding venue (the ceremony is approximately a thirty second walk from my door). I hung out and made some notes about Nick and Ellie from the musings I mused on the way down, and then hung out with Lauren's mom and sister while waiting for Lauren and Nathan to come back from their massage. Suffice it to say that the venue is gorgeous, the wedding party is entertaining, and I think this is going to be a super fun break from my recent hermitville.

But the fun started tonight with a dinner for Lauren and Nathan's families to meet each other - or perhaps it was for them to meet me, since I was the only person there who both a) wasn't related to anyone else in attendance and b) didn't work at the restaurant. But it was really fun to meet all of them - and there were a lot of them, since Nathan's mom came from a family of ten and Lauren's parents have several siblings each (and Lauren has three siblings as well; Nathan's sisters weren't in town yet). I sat right in the thick of the action, across from Lauren and her siblings and next to her dad, who I think I could have gotten well and truly sloshed with had I not (prudently) volunteered to drive. I say prudently because I can't turn down free wine unless I'm driving, but I had already sternly warned myself to save my epic hangover for Sunday morning, since I have responsibilities tomorrow and can't look obviously hungover in the wedding photos on Saturday. I have so much restraint, I know.

sssanyway, the families are lovely, and since it takes me several rounds of meeting people before I remember their names, I'm glad I got some practice tonight. And now I really need to sleep - it seems like everyone in the world gets up earlier than I do these days, so I can't loaf around in my pajamas until noon tomorrow. Life is hard. Goodnight!

leave all your love and your loving behind

I'm in a much better mood than I was last night at this point. Also, I'm drunk. I would like to pretend that that's correlation, not causation, but I'm not sure I can tell you that with a straight face.

But first, the beginning. I woke up this morning and succeeded in not obsessing over the internets, thanks to my sim card being in my v. old-school dumbphone that I got in Singapore three years ago - I can receive calls and texts just fine, but I can't check my email or my goodreads reviews or my amazon sales stats on it, so that's an automatic win in terms of preserving my peace of mind. So I got up, took a shower, went downstairs, made myself some delish eggs (scrambled eggs with onions, andouille sausage, and cheese) and some coffee, and enjoyed my breakfast while reading my hometown paper from last week (highlights: they misspelled 'crowd' in a headline on the front page, and there was a pic of a woman spinning wool *directly from* her angora rabbit). Then I stewed over my book, and eventually walked up to the Peet's at Bush and Van Ness, where I wrote four pages or so while waiting for my car to be finished.

The car was done around 4pm, which was two hours later than I had planned, which put me behing on my dinner preparations. I'm over how much I spent on it; it wasn't the money that bothered me as much as not being an expert at all things and so not knowing whether this was something that was truly necessary vs. somewhat necessary vs. a total ripoff. You all know that I like to be right about everything, so this reaction will not surprise you. sssanyway, after the dealership, I went to Whole Foods to get some groceries, and then I came home and embarked on a v. fast death march towards dinner. I was hosting book club tonight, and I was making only things I've never made before, so that added to the stress...

...but it all turned out wonderfully. I bought the appetizers (guac and hummus), but the entree was a roasted eggplant and garlic soup that was *amazing*, if I do say so myself. It was amazing enough anyway because it is both gluten free and dairy free, which is v. hard to find in the "tasty" category of entrees. But the taste was lovely; it required roasting the eggplant, onion, carrot, and celery first (as well as roasting the garlic in a separate pouch), then combining it with broth, potato, tahini, garbanzo beans (aka chickpeas), salt, pepper, and lemon juice, and then pureeing it with my immersion blender. It came out seeming v. fancy and delicious, but it was quite easy to prepare - I would totally make it again. And I plan to try some of the other soups in the cookbook; my parents gave me this Culinary Institute of America Book of Soups for Christmas (at my behest) one year, but I was kind of daunted by the recipes...and now I am no longer daunted, so if you're reading this, perhaps someday you'll benefit!

I also made a gluten free apple crisp, using my Gram's recipe but substituting a speciality gluten-free flour mix for the regular mix, and it turned out perfectly. And we drank two bottles of wine (or rather, we split two bottles of wine, of which I had approximately 3/4s of a bottle myself since most people had to drive). And we discussed TURN OF MIND, which was mostly a discussion of how sad all of us were about the people we knew who had dementia, but it seemed the everyone really 'enjoyed' the book (if 'enjoyed' is the right word, which it's not entirely). And now I must really sleep, since I am sure I'm going to be hung over in the morning and I need to recover just enough to go get my brows waxed (and tinted, since they're going white, ugh) and my hair cut, and go to the mall to get shoes for Lauren's wedding. Goodnight!