this is the remix

I somehow only got six hours of sleep again last night...I am slowly dying here. And tonight isn't going to be any better - I have to pack, sleep, shower, and leave super early to drive to Mountain View in time to give a nine a.m. presentation (which I probably still need to put another 30min of work into).

But tomorrow I have two meetings, and then I drive to the airport and fly business class to Paris, so things could be worse, amirite? Granted, one meeting is a presentation to my boss that I'm not ready for, and one is my team meeting (which I'm also not ready for). But then it's all smooth sailing.

So yeah, today was painful in some ways (lots of fires), but good in others (lots of 1:1 conversations with people whom I adore). Then I picked up a rental car and made the mistake of driving to Burlingame at rush hour - it wasn't a mistake to see Barbara and Anne, since I've been feeling seriously in need of some writer friend time to remind me that there is more to my life than presentations, but it was a mistake to try to go anywhere at rush hour. We had a relatively quick dinner at Limon, where I had some totally awesome empanadas and a glass of wine that wasn't enough to fix my woes (although the amount of wine necessary to fix my woes would have rendered me unable to drive, let alone able to finish the work I had to do tonight).

When we were done, I drove back to the city of sin, and I sat in the lobby for the last hour working on the presentation because I knew I would just go to sleep if I tried to work on my bed. But I'm done for now, so it's time to throw stuff in a suitcase and go to bed - goodnight!

when all of your flaws and all of my flaws are laid out one by one

I'm really having quite an excellent conference. There's something that feels a little different about this one than several of my previous ones - and maybe part of it is where it falls in my release schedule, since this is the first time I've come when I just released a book. My books have typically come out in the November-March timeframe, which means July is usually when I'm in the doldrums of despair over the next one - and this time I'm feeling quite good about things, which is a welcome change.

But it's more than that...I don't want to jinx it, but it feels like a lot of the cloud from last year has lifted, and I feel confident about both my writing and my business plans again, and I also feel more confident and happy as a human being, which means I've had no shame about seeking out people and making new friends and networking and doing all those things that I should have been doing. So instead of hanging out exclusively with my safe, easy clique (which is, admittedly, filled with absurdly successful people), I've forced myself to seek out new experiences and reconnect with other friends.

So today was more of that. I woke up, showered, and grabbed breakfast before making it to a 9:45am workshop on branding and marketing (I knew a lot of it, but some of it was useful). Then I went to a workshop on publishing data and trends, which was super interesting because I'm a data nerd; I would have found it more interesting if I were working for my former employer, but it was still good for me.

Then I took a break and had lunch with Elizabeth, who writes historical romance/mystery - she's moving into self-publishing, so we had a long talk about that over cobb salad at a restaurant down the street. Then I came back, went to part of a workshop on historical romance, and skipped out to grab some caffeine and go back to my room to change. I also chatted with Leigh and Amy/Carey (same person, two names) for awhile, which was delightful.

But then I forced myself into more social activity and went to a Nook-sponsored cocktail hour, where I told the Nook manager (with whom I've hit it off) all about my five-bottles-of-rosé experience from last week, which is such a funny story that I have to tell it to everyone. No business was conducted, but I think I won cocktail hour with that story, so yay. Then I had dinner with Grace, Tina, Jami, Veronica, and Poppy, followed by a mai tai with a subset of them + some SF writers (including Rachael for a bit, whom I adore).

So that was all good. My face continues to win - I don't know why people want to give me things and tell me things, but the lunch bartender gave me a bunch of new sangria (delish, especially with all the hard alcohol in it), and someone today told me a family secret that most of her family doesn't know. and I continue to be stunned and delighted and intrigued by the human condition. But now I really, really need to sleep - I have a breakfast thing, and tomorrow night will be late, so I should get some sleep. Goodnight!

and she was looking at herself, and things were looking like a movie

Perhaps I should have stayed home and watched political coverage like a good Wampler...politics are in my blood, although I've ignored that blood while living in California, where it feels that my vote doesn't matter and I don't feel any particular tie to the land or the community. But, needless to say, I didn't stay home....but more on that in a second.

First, the beginning of my day. I woke up and laid in bed daydreaming slightly longer than I should have, but I succeeded in forcing myself out of bed, and I was at Philz on Golden Gate by 9:15 (an eminently respectable time for someone who doesn't have to commute or hold herself to a schedule). I wrote a couple of pages more than I had and a couple of pages less than I should have, but I'll take it. Then I came home, ate some leftover pasta + sauce (omg, still, so delicious), and took a nap.

But I slothed as much as I could sloth, so I spent the afternoon taking care of a variety of business-y type tings in advance of my Hawaii trip. Then, eventually, I changed out of yoga pants and into real clothes (with a shower as an intermediary step) and walked down to the downtown area to pursue an evening of non-caucus-y fun.

First up was drinks and tacos with John at Novela - it was kind of a shitshow, and maybe I won't go back there again, but the wine was tasty and the tacos were good. And really, the only reason we were there was because it was close to the next plan of the night...my romance writing alter ego got free VIP tickets to an advance screening of the new Nicholas Sparks movie (THE CHOICE, out on Friday). This turned out to be an incredible experience. For one, you can apparently buy wine at the concession stand and take it in, which I did not know. For another, because we were VIP, we had great reserved seats, and also we didn't have to surrender our phones (everyone else had to surrender all electronics at the door, because apparently someone thought that someone might want to film/steal this, which is impossible).

So, we got to the theatre just in time, and the movie started without any trailers, and we were shushed by someone nearby within the first two minutes of the movie (apparently our witty and erudite commentary was not as welcome as we thought). All in all, it was so bad that it was good, or something. Or at least we enjoyed ourselves. And even though it was terrible, I still teared up a couple of times at the end, because beneath my resting bitch face lies a heart of gold.

After the movie was over, we went to another bar and split an italian hot sausage and fries, and I had another glass of wine, which was both totally unnecessary and totally necessary. And then we parted ways, and you can tell that I was tipsy because I got into the first available cab rather than calling a lyft like a good techie.

And now, I need to sleep so that I can call my parents tomorrow and get the caucus lowdown, and also get some writing done, and also keep prepping for Hawaii. Goodnight!

and he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at johnny's feet

I am both v. sad and incredibly relieved that conference is over for another year. Sad because I think this is the best conference I've ever been to; relieved because I need to finish this damn book, then write several more to fulfill my one-year plan for world domination (call it a Great Leap Forward, sans Mao Zedong and the forced relocation of a bunch of intellectuals). Today was utterly exhausting and rewarding, though. I woke up hungover, which is what I deserved, but I made it downstairs in time for a metadata workshop with Courtney Milan, who is one of the smartest selfpubbers in the business. Then I had lunch with Grace, Tina and Kristin, which was lovely. After lunch, I spent half an hour thinking about writing and instead making a list of all the things I want to do publishing-wise when I get home (which is v. extensive), then went to another couple of workshops, then went to my room and rested for a bit.

Tonight was the last night, though, and it was also the RITA/Golden Heart ceremony, so I needed to rally. I put on my dress and some eyeliner, met up with some friends for dinner, and then had a drink in the bar and another while standing in line for the ceremony (the hotel v. smartly sent waiters down the line, so I got some more red wine, which was a triumph and a tragedy). The ceremony was fun, although I personally think last year's was better, but I may be biased since I planned that one. Yes, my inner bitch is showing.

After the ceremony, I hung out in the bar for three hours or so with Kathia and whoever happened to wander by. Then I came upstairs, packed most of my stuff, and am now blogging so that you know I'm not dead (as of when I hit 'publish'; my liver makes no promises after that).

But if you care to know my heart and soul rather than just the facts of my day, I will say that this conference (and this year) has been quite excellent for me in terms of figuring out my priorities, feeling like I know what I'm doing, and making or reinforcing connections that will hopefully be good friends in the long term. Whether I'm faking it until I make it or I'm actually becoming friends with people, I would say that I'm getting to know some of the awesomest people on both the historical side and the selfpub side, which is wonderful and enjoyable even if it does nothing for my career. And I'm feeling that now, more than ever, I can see a path toward gaining a ton of readers and making a ton of money with my writing, which is a goal I've theoretically had all along but have not worked particularly hard to achieve.

But that path requires a lot of writing and a lot of business stuff - and since I have a full-time dayjob, I may need to reconsider all of this (or hire an assistant, which I've considered doing). For now, though, suffice it to say that while I'm looking forward to returning to my real life and my real-life friends, I have enjoyed being Sara Ramsey this week, and I'm so psyched to finish Prudence and Alex's book. I'm sure that feeling will die a hideous death when I try to write on the plane tomorrow, but c'est la vie. Goodnight!

you'll still be standing next to me

My best laid plans went ridiculously awry tonight - but it looks like I'll be in bed before 12:30am, so it's better than last night. Today was utterly lovely; the conference doesn't officially start until tomorrow, but I had a full-day retreat for current/former Golden Heart finalists, followed by a signing, followed by dinner, so I already feel exhausted by the whole endeavor. Shockingly (both in light of my hatred of mornings and my eyebrow-raising scotch consumption), I made it up in time to have a real sit-down (my Iowa roots are showing) breakfast before going to my nine a.m. event. Crazy, I know.

The retreat was awesome; I don't know that I particularly learned anything, but I was v. inspired. Susan Elizabeth Phillips started it off, then Courtney Milan talked selfpub (the most useful part of the day for me, since she's crazy smart), then Nora Roberts (aka Nora, since there is no other) gave the keynote. She happened to say that we should 'do your writing a solid', which I thought was rather hip phraseology for the queen of the genre, so needless to say I was impressed (if having two hundred books out wasn't impressive enough). Then I ate a v. hurried lunch so I could sneak back to my room and take a thirty-minute nap, which totally saved me today.

The afternoon session was mildly interesting, if I'm being frank, so I left as soon as it appeared to be wrapping up and wrote in the lobby for forty-five minutes before grabbing coffee with some writer friends. Then I went to the huge literacy signing and signed books; the event lasts for two hours and I sold five books, which I was actually thrilled with considering that I was competing with 400 other authors and am relatively unknown. Then I had dinner with the Rubies (we rented a bus to take us away from the hotel, which was a good move), then came home and was about to go to bed...but when I got to my room, my keycard was demagnetized. So I went downstairs, got it reprogrammed, was coming back upstairs - and then ran into my friend Kathia, whom I've been writing with in SF. So I had a gin and tonic with her and nibbled on her fries while she had a late dinner, and it was all v. lovely.

And now I must really go to bed - I'm giving a workshop tomorrow, and having high tea with some historical writers at the Ritz Carlton, and generally being my fabulous Sara Ramsey self instead of my hermity regular self. Goodnight!

in this tidal wave of mystery

My first day in Atlanta got off to a v. late start; I tried to get up at eight, and promptly went back to bed and slept until eleven. That was only eight a.m. my time, which still felt rather unfortunate, but at least I got eight or so hours of sleep before starting zee day. I got ready, contemplated eating at the hotel, and instead figured out how to take the subway (aka MARTA) to the Atlanta office so that I could get some work done (and, more importantly, eat a free lunch).

The Atlanta office is really nice - not any nicer or less nice than other offices I've been in, with a small cafe that seems to be mostly catered in (but, since it's caterers, they seem to care less about broader health and wellness initiatives, so I saw my first bag of Fritos at work in a million years). I procured a desk, slogged away all afternoon, and then got called into a 6-7pm meeting with the guy who sits next to me at my regular desk. This was fine, since the meeting needed to happen, but it meant that I forgot to call my parents as promised (sorry, parents!), and didn't make it to the hotel until 7:30.

So, I messed around on zee internet, played on Twitter (this is 'work' for Sara Ramsey), and ate a decent room service cheeseburger. I also wrote three pages of Alex and Prudence, since this book can wait for no man, and answered some work emails on my phone. And now, I desperately need to sleep; I want to try to get on Georgia time so that I can get some work done in the morning before California wakes up, and it would behoove me to get on EDT anyway because the rest of the week will start early as well. Goodnight!

maybe i'm just in love when you wake me up

I'm super tired, but I had an awesome day at this conference despite the fact that it's two hours ahead of California and I believe we've already established (exhibit: everything) that I'm not a morning person. But I had a v. enjoyable day despite that, and I even wrote a page of Nick and Ellie's story, which was unexpected but v. welcome. I had to hang out in the 'author lounge' for an hour in the morning, where I sat at a table with other readers and writers and discussed books, which is always fun. Then I had lunch at a table with some v. fun writers; the conference served tex-mex, which as far as I can tell just means that everything is smothered in cheese (change we can all get behind). Eloisa James was the featured author, but she did a q&a instead of a keynote, which was great to hear.

After lunch, I hid in my room for a bit because I needed a break, but then I had a panel with Sarah MacLean (love her!) and Connie Cox (a contemporary writer whom I've never read, but that's not surprising since I don't really read contemporary). It was all about naming characters, a topic I didn't really have enough thoughts on to fill an entire hour, but the attendees seemed to enjoy it anyway. After the panel, Sarah and I walked down the street to Starbucks, then came back to the hotel and wrote (and talked) in the lobby until it was time for the book signing. I actually sold a few books to people, and had a couple of people come up to me and say that they'd read and loved my books already, which was kind of squee-worthy - it's still incredibly bizarre to have that happen, and I don't know how to handle it (or how to sign my name, since ending a signature with a 'y' is so different than ending with an 'r'). But even though I'm a baby author compared to a lot of the people here, it all feels more real at events like this - so that was fun.

Post-signing, I freshened up and then went out to dinner with Sarah, Eloisa James, Lauren Willig, and four readers we invited to come along with us. Sarah had invited me to this dinner, and told me to bring a reader, so I snagged one of the women I sat with last night, and we all had a fabulous time over more tex-mex (chicken enchiladas smothered in shredded cheese and cheese sauce for me, plus appetizers for the table that involved smothered french fries and smothered nachos). We made it back to the hotel just in time for the bachelor auction (ridic) and costume contest (also ridic), where I hung out with some new writer friends and was incredibly entertained by a major historical romance writer who is probably my mom's age and yet knew all the words and some awesome dance moves to apply to the seminal Lil Jon/LMFAO song "Shots". And now I'm suddenly out of energy, and I have to get up earlier than I had planned tomorrow because it turns out my attendance is required at breakfast, which is a travesty that I will disallow if I ever become a big enough deal to dictate my schedule at these things. A girl can dream. Goodnight!

it's not a homeless life for me

I have arrived in Dallas, where I shall spend the next couple of days being Sara Ramsey. Luckily, I remembered my alter ego when I ran into some bloggers in the elevator and had to introduce myself - they said I looked familiar and recognized my name immediately, and when they said which blog they write for I knew who they were, so that was kind of fun. I'm by no means famous, but it's totally crazy to run into people who have read my stuff, so I'm feeling good about life (even if I need to work on Nick and Ellie in every free moment this weekend).

Anyway, my trip was uneventful, albeit annoying; traffic was bad on the way to the airport and the security line was longer than usual, so instead of having all sorts of extra time to eat breakfast, I had just enough time to get a coffee and a takeout container of scrambled eggs before they were calling final boarding. But my flight was only half full, so there was an empty seat between me and the window guy, which was v. conducive to getting some work done. I got to Dallas around 4pm, retrieved my bags (protip: two suitcases full of books are pretty heavy), and took the shuttle to the rental car location...which must be on the Rio Grande or some shit, because it took like half an hour to get there. Then I drove through rush hour (not advised) to my hotel, which is lovely - it's amazing how big the rooms in a Hilton Garden Inn can be when it's Texas instead of the Bay Area.

By the time I dragged my stuff upstairs and sent a couple of emails, I realized that the only things I'd eaten during the day were those scrambled eggs and some Fritos, so I was suddenly ravenous. I used Yelp and found a Mexican restaurant nearby, which was totally delicious - I love seeing how different 'Mexican' food is in different parts of the country, and this was certainly different than the bay area. Their salsas were tasty, although I didn't care for the avocado/sour cream one (odd, since I'm all about sour cream). And both enchiladas were good; the salsa verde one was a little bit more vinegary than the salsa verde I usually get at Fiesta del Mar, but the sour cream sauce on the second enchilada was something that I could have eaten forever. After becoming stuffed just as rapidly as I had become ravenous earlier, I came back to the hotel, hung up all my clothes, took care of some tings (not to be confused with things) online, and am now going to go to bed at the ridiculously early hour of 10:30pm (8:30pm on the west coast) to try to make up last night's sleep deficit before the conference starts. Goodnight!

calling, calling, calling me home

I'm super sleepy, so I need to go to bed immediately - today was a long but v. productive day, unless you think that my productivity needs to involve putting words on the page (which, actually, is a good guess on your part...I should be writing with every waking moment I have). But I got up absurdly early since my fucking neighbor decided to use what sounded like a shop vac on something in the carport behind my bedroom window at 7:15am - who does that?! So, when I accepted that my sleep was stymied, I got up, showered, made some coffee, and worked until it was time to meet up with someone for brunch.

I don't think I mentioned, but my other piece of good news recently was that I was asked to co-teach a class to high schoolers on writing for publication; the class is at Berkeley (sssssssss), and the irony of going to work for the enemy is certainly not lost on me. But the other teacher and I needed to sort out the syllabus and discuss our plan of attack, since the first class is on Wednesday, and so we met up for a v. long working brunch at Chow to plow through some stuff. I'm really excited to do some teaching, so even though I really don't have time for it given my other deadlines, it was too good of an opportunity (and highlight for my resume, if I want to do more teaching) to pass up.

Post meeting, I got home around 3:30, and then Terry and I filmed the last little bit of stuff for my next romance writer video. Then I talked to my parents (Happy Father's Day, Daddy!), and then I started editing the video so that I could get it up as soon as possible. I took a break, though, to have dinner with Terry and Lauren (aka Subz, aka Zubisubz) at Nettie's Crab Shack, which is down the street from my apartment. I'd never been there, but the food was awesome; I had their salmon special (perhaps an unwitting homage to my parents, who were having salmon tonight), which would have been really healthy if I hadn't had a piece of pizza before, or a glass of wine at dinner, or a serving of soft-serve swirl ice cream after. Oops. But it was great to see Lauren and catch up on all the stuff in her life, and I'm really glad that I had a bit of socializing after a week of mostly hermity activities.

After dinner, I came home and came straight upstairs to finish editing the video. I was successful, so I plan to share it broadly tomorrow - but you can get a sneak peek now here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFo0-9pyAps. And now that I've burned out my eyes with iMovie, I must sleep at once - goodnight!

just another heartache on my list

I'm super sleepy, but I think my day was a success! I drove up to Cedar Rapids to hang out with some old family friends and give a talk at the Cedar Rapids Public Library, which was super fun. So I spent the morning getting ready, printing off handouts, printing maps (since I wasn't sure I'd have data service where I needed it to find my way to Cedar Rapids), eating, etc. before taking off around 12:30. I stopped for diesel on the way out of town and ran into the office manager for the convenience store I used to work at (not really surprising, since the office faces the diesel pump on the side of the building) -- hard to believe that her kid, who was twelve when I started working there, is now twenty-six and has a four-year-old. Craziness.

Anyway, the drive to Cedar Rapids was long (almost four hours) but uneventful. I went the longer way to avoid the deadly combo of road construction cutting swathes of the shorter route down to one lane + a ramp closure in Iowa City + Obama's visit to the town where I would have gotten onto the interstate, but the longer way was v. nice; the roads were good all the way, and if I had had more time I would have stopped at the "American Gothic" house (although the last time my mom and I tried to find it, it appeared that someone was living there, which kind of took the shine off it).

Once I got to Cedar Rapids, I saw Carol and Gene (my parents' friends from when I was little; Carol was the town librarian and turned a blind eye to my romance reading habits) and their daughter Jan, who is the reason why I chose to play the flute even though my embouchure sucks. I also met Jan's husband Mark, who wasn't sure I actually existed since he's met the rest of my family several times but has never met me, and their three kids -- four-year-old twins and a two-and-a-half year old, which is madness. They had also invited over a woman I didn't remember, since she graduated from my high school in 1983, but my mom was her 4-H club leader, so that means we go way back.

We didn't get to hang out at the apartment all that long, since I had left later than I intended, and so we all packed up and drove across town to the library, which is temporarily located in several storefronts of a mall because the catastrophic floods of 2008 ravaged the original library and they're still in the process of rebuilding it. Not to say that Cedar Rapids was as catastrophic as Katrina, particularly in terms of loss of life, but the city was pretty devastated and things are just now starting to come back (case in point: Jan works for a major museum there that is just reopening its permanent space this summer). But the library was quite nice, and the staff were super friendly - they'd apparently ordered several of my books, and all of them are checked out, which was awesome news!

As I expected, about four people whom I didn't know showed up, but between them, my entourage, and my library host, there were about ten people, which I thought was totally respectable. The talk went well and was really fun, and I signed books after, so I'm glad I did it. After I wrapped up, we all went to a restaurant called Leonardo's, which was awesomely kitsch (red booths, lamps made out of flower planters, an entranceway wall covered in black rocks, etc.) and caught up some more. But the kids needed to sleep and I needed to get back on the road for my three-hour drive home, so we wrapped up around 9:15. And my drive home was utterly uneventful, and I didn't fall asleep or hit a deer, so the trip was a success!

Now, though, I must sleep; I think I'm decorating graves with my mom tomorrow, so sleeping is imperative. Goodnight!

you don't know you're beautiful

Today was entirely successful, but I'm glad it's over, since I was more nervous than I realized (even if I manage to come off as a completely cool customer to those around me). I slept in this morning, then took care of some various tings before driving into downtown Denver to meet up with a romance writing friend, Maire, who finaled with me for the Golden Heart in 2011 (and won her category; she writes historical romance, while I write Regency, but the Regency and historical categories are pretty close sisters). We ate at an Italian place, where I had some amazing lamb meatballs over polenta (which I'm pretty sure just made my father throw up in his mouth a little, given his aversion to lamb), and we talked and gossiped about writing and the industry to our hearts' content. Then I grabbed an iced latte, came back to Katie's, and spent some quality time figuring out what I was reading tonight. Yes, I put it off. If you thought I wouldn't put it off, you really don't know me at all. I also packed most of my suitcase, since I have to leave the house at 6:30am tomorrow -- bleh.

Anyway, I got all dressed up and went downtown early so that I could find the place, park, and get some fortifying beverages before the event (a strawberry soda, not alcohol). I had previously decided I didn't really need to practice, but I ended up panicking and reading the whole thing v. quietly to myself in the corner of the cafe -- irony, since I had previously looked askance at the vagrant who was muttering to herself in the other corner. I also wrote two pages of a completely different project than anything I'm working on -- I had this idea for a novella about Malcolm's distant ancestor, the first earl, and his 'courtship'/kidnapping of his bride, since I love raunchy medievals and it could be a fun promo/giveaway/sales tie-in to SCOTSMEN. So many ideas, so little time...

Finally I went to the wine bar where the reading event was held, and had a malbec to take the edge off while I waited for my turn. The ladies who organized it were totally sweet, and there were probably ~15 people there, which was just the right size for me to give a first reading in front of without feeling too small. Katie came, as did Maire, so I had some moral support. And I thought it went well, even if I think I left them wanting Prudence's story instead of Malcolm and Amelia's -- oops, since I haven't even plotted Prudence yet.

After the reading, Katie and I came home (with a sudden but v. necessary detour to a frozen yogurt place) and hung out with James until bedtime. And now I really must sleep; I have to get up in six hours, which is better than the schedule I had on the way out here, but not by much. Denver has been a blast, though, and even though I'm eager to sleep in my own bed again, I'm glad I spent a long weekend with Katie and James (particularly since their cat, the appropriately-named Chewie, didn't even bite me a single time). Goodnight!

when a heart breaks well it don't break even

For once I have two important things to share with you! Prepare yourself!


The first is my Authors@Google talk from two weeks ago, for those of you who want to watch the interview and listen to what I had to say about writing, self-publishing, romance, etc: 

It was quite fun to do, and I thought it went really well - so yay to that.


The second is that I broke up with Alyssa today. It was v. v. difficult, partially because I love her and partially because my preferred method of breaking up is to stop talking to someone and ignore all attempts to contact me until the other person gets the hint. Bad Sara, I know. But it just doesn't make sense to keep driving down to Palo Alto so often, particularly when I end up eating out every time I'm there and negating the benefit of working out, and spending less time enjoying myself in the city, etc., etc. These are all totally valid reasons and I've thought about this for a long time before pulling the trigger, but that didn't make it any easier to tell her.


But I did tell her, and she took it well (at least to my face), although we agreed to get together in a month and see how I'm doing and whether it makes sense to try something else (either setting me up with a trainer up here, or doing something long-distance with her- this does sound like a relationship, doesn't it?). But I'm glad I had the conversation with her, even though I will miss her tremendously. So I'm in mourning now, but hopefully some writing time in the city over the next few weeks will help me get over it.


After the breakup, we worked out for half an hour (awkward). Then I showered and drove to my old place of employment, where I had lunch with Gyre, which was great (and he had me sign a copy of my book for his team, who has been taking turns reading it and then reporting back to him on the dirty bits, which is hilarious to me). Then I hung out at Philz for awhile, and then Starbucks for awhile, generally playing online and following romance news, since today was the day that RITA and Golden Heart finalists were announced and so there was a storm of news and gossip going on.


Eventually, though, I abandoned the laptop and had a lovely, hilarious dinner with Heather (aka dear respected madam), followed by an equally lovely, hilarious free tea with her back at her office. We finally parted ways around nine, and I drove back to the evil city and spent the last couple of hours catching up on stuff. And now I need to go to bed so that I can hit it hard tomorrow -- goodnight!

golden state

So, I have good news - my latest book is a finalist for the 2011 Golden Heart award**! I knew that the announcements were coming today, and I didn't sleep well last night as a result. I had dozed off again sometime before eight a.m., even though I expected that calls would start around eight a.m. in each time zone, and was awoken by my voicemail tone. This surprised me, since my phone had never rang. Even though the person didn't leave a voicemail, I called back (which I never, ever do), left them a voicemail -- and got a call ten minutes later saying that I had finaled. Much rejoicing ensued, of course; even though I went through this before, it's still super exciting to be recognized and feel like I'm on the right track, etc.

Luckily, I had someone around to celebrate with; Walter was on my couch in the living room, and so he got the honor of hanging out with me this morning while I was sublimely happy and not particularly interested in talking about anything else. We both eventually showered and then went into Palo Alto for lunch, where we oddly settled on Pasta? -- mostly because we were able to get from the car to that particular block on University without getting rained on, and I didn't want to take the chance of going another block (which proved to be prophetic, as we just missed a downpour). So we had lunch, came back to my place and enjoyed a cup of tea, and then Walter left to go to southern California. It was v. good to see him, and I'm sad that we don't live closer to each other since we both seem to be constitutionally incapable of keeping in touch over long distances.

After Walter left, I caught up on the online romance world (since this was a big day in that community, obviously), took a nap, and caught up on this week's "Top Chef: All Stars" while continuing to practice my knitting, since I needed a little downtime before getting to work. After that was over, I started thinking about my next book. I need to figure it out this week, so my little vacation is over and productivity begins immediately. I took a break to eat some leftover boeuf bourguignon (yum), then spread out a whole bunch of materials on my kitchen table, archived all the notes and detritus from Madeleine and Ferguson's story, and made new binders for Ellie and Nick. This may seem like procrastination, but I can't work without notebooks, and so this was an important first step. So, everything's now organized, and I have all the little notes I made to myself with ideas about Ellie's story gathered in one place, so I can get started.

Now, though, I think I'll go to bed; after the euphoria of finaling and the joy of Walter's visit wore off, I was left with a raging headache, and I'd like to get some sleep. Goodnight!



** For those of you who pay only casual attention to anything I say about the romance world, the Golden Heart is the award that I won in 2009 for my first book. They narrow down ~1000-1200 entries and come up with 6-8 finalists per category, and then those finalists are judged in a second round before the winner is announced at the annual romance conference in the summer. While I was still polishing my book for the past couple of months, the first round is based on the first fifty pages, which were apparently strong enough to get to the finals. Yay.

check out the hook while my dj revolves it

RWA 2010 has come to a close; I've had a fantastic time, but I'm really looking forward to getting back to California and diving headfirst into my book. My day started far earlier than I would have liked, with a ten-minute pitch session at 9:20 with an editor from Harlequin. It went pretty well, but since I already have an agent, it wasn't a make or break scenario -- and, since I'm in a complete shake-up in regards to Ferguson's character, it was hard to be completely clear with the editor about where I'm going. But, since I promised to get the book done by October, I need to get cracking.

After the pitch, I did some manuscript work in my lobby, then came back to my room and packed so that I could see whether I would need to ship anything. I managed to fit about ten books into my luggage, only sacrificing two that I know I'll never read. I need to finish packing tomorrow morning, but I think I'm going to make it without having to stand in the insanely long line to ship things home. I met up with Grace and Tina for lunch, where I fortified myself with a cheeseburger before attending a two-hour rehearsal for the Golden Heart/RITA presentation. It was quite exciting to be sitting in a room with not just my fellow winners from last year who were presenting this year (five of us total), but romance superstars like Stephanie Laurens, Teresa Meideros, Meg Cabot, Victoria Alexander, Sabrina Jeffries, etc. I then dashed back to my room, took a nap, showered, blowdried my hair, carefully applied my makeup -- and just barely made it downstairs by six p.m. to walk over to the awards ceremony.

They seated presenters and finalists at six p.m. and started serving our food then, so we were done eating by seven, and the awards ceremony didn't actually start until eight. The dinner was pretty standard hotel fair -- an okay salad, a chicken breast entree, and a chocolate dessert. But, while most of the women at my presenter table were fellow Golden Heart finalists (Darynda, Jeannie, Kelly, and their dates), we were also joined by Roxanne St. Claire and Kresley Cole. Roxanne was presenting and Kresley was up for a RITA for paranormal (for a book I adored -- and she ended up winning!). Roxanne at some point had made friends with the hotel's general manager, and he sent several bottles of Veuve Clicquot to our table -- which I stayed away from before presenting, but hit liberally when I was done, since I adore good champagne more than virtually any other drink.

So my presenting went well -- I didn't fall, stumble, stutter, slur, or do anything else to embarrass myself. It's possible that I grimaced more than I smiled, since smiling is not my face's natural resting state and I was trying to force myself to smile while listening to the winner's speech, but I pulled it off regardless. Then, I drank several glasses of champagne while watching the rest of it (including Julia Quinn getting her third RITA). The lifetime achievement award went to Debbie Macomber, who has 75 million books in print, had one of her books turned into the Hallmark Channel's most-watched movie of the year, has a tie-in with a lot of knitting books and supplies, etc., etc. When she finally got up after all her many accomplishments were listed, she thanked like seven agents -- her fiction agent, her non-fiction agent, her merchandising agents, her tv and movie agents, and some other agent that I'm forgetting. Basically, she sounds like the sweetest woman, and she left me feeling simultaneously inspired and incredibly daunted by what she's accomplished.

After the awards ceremony was over, Grace, Tina and I met up with Sharon and Amy from Charleston and went over to a dance club at the Disney Boardwalk. It was a ridiculous, no-cover, all-ages-over-21 (although the door 'man' was 20) establishment, where the DJ was more of a VJ, since he played the videos for all the songs, which I found really distracting and wonderful. I had a blue hawaiian there, so while I'm not soused, I'm definitely lightly lubricated.

Unfortunately, I need to go to bed; my flight's a little after 3pm tomorrow, but since Orlando is full of screaming, overstimulated children, all of whom will likely trying to be getting home on Sunday (in addition to the squealing, overstimulated writers who are leaving the conference), my shuttle is picking me up shortly after 12pm. That means I need to get up and finish packing, and since I'd like to have breakfast with Grace and Tina before I go, sleep is imperative.

I shall leave you with two pictures: me in my fancy-pants dress before the start of the awards ceremony, and Kresley Cole's RITA award for best paranormal novel (with champagne in the background). Since a RITA award and a lot of champagne would be one of my biggest dreams come true, I'm going to take this photo above my desk until I get a RITA of my own. Goodnight!

tings are starting to heat up

Yes, I meant to say "tings". It's an homage to my California friends, and a fond memory of how horrified Katie was at our ridiculous grammar. Ironic that I'm a writer and I willingly slip into Adit-speak, but there you have it; it can only get worse when I move in with the dude.

Anyway, I had another excellent day. You can catch up on the details of the conference on zee romance blog, but suffice it to say that I successfully made it out of my first hotel and into the conference hotel. The lines at the conference hotel were v. long, and I wasn't able to get my room right away, so I spent some quality time eating a sandwich in the hotel pub and chatting it up with some people sitting near me. Then, I went to a very interesting afternoon activity for current/former finalists, and it was a good way for me to ease into the conference. Then, I eased right back out of it by meeting up for dinner with Stephanie; she was Ritu, Renee, and Connie's drawmate, and she lived in Loro my senior year. It was great to catch up with her, since she's a journalist and I heart journalists even if my company is slowly and unintentionally destroying her livelihood.

I won't blog here for long because I really really REALLY need to go to bed, but I will say that this conference already feels light-years different than last year's conference. It really boils down to the award nomination, I think; it encourages me to chat with people, probably because I feel more legitimate than I did last year when I attended without a completed manuscript and with no real ties to anyone in the entire hotel. This year, I've interacted with many people online already, and so I run into people whom I've either chatted with online, or who are current/former finalists themselves and so willing to say hi. And, since I now have an agent and saw all the superstar novelists' talks last year, some of the pressure is off, and I can focus my workshop attendance on topics like craft and marketing rather than hitting up all the "famous" speakers just to see them in person.

So, I'm having fun, and tomorrow will be even better because Terry arrives in the afternoon! Wish me luck as I try to stay awake through the day tomorrow...

the sound of settling

If you want to know what I did today, read the romance blog. Hint: I went to the National Archives, saw an exhibit called "Tsars and the East," and had dinner with some fellow writers. But, I can't write my day up for the romance blog and then write it up again for this blog, even if the styles (and, more importantly, what I include/don't include) aren't quite the same. You'll just have to deal this week, and expect a return to my usual verbosity on this blog next week.

However, if all you do is check this blog to make sure I'm still alive, consider your quest fulfilled for another night.

Now I'm off to bed -- the conference starts tomorrow!

but it doesn't mean that i'm serious

I'm so stupid -- I should have been in bed about four hours ago, but I keep looking at the clock on my laptop and forgetting that it's two hours behind. That means that instead of going to bed at 2am (the time listed on my laptop), I'm going to bed at 4am, likely around the time that my parents are waking up.

But, I accomplished a lot today; I made substantial progress on the final tweaks of my romance novel, and I worked from 9pm until 4am on the design and implementation of what I hope will be a new site/blog combo for my romance alter ego. And, I took some time out to hang out with the family and eat another fabulous midwestern meal (bratwurst and homemade mac and cheese) -- although I'm suddenly starving again, likely because dinner was nine hours ago and I shouldn't have stayed up.

That's all you're getting out of me tonight -- goodnight/good morning!

you ring just like a xylophone

Today was excellent despite my meetings. None of the meetings were bad and I actually had a couple of hours free, which was totally awesome. So there's nothing much to report on the work front, other than to lament my usual feeling of being behind. But after work, Heather, Tracy, Lisa and I went out for margaritas and pie -- our monthly-ish get-together at a local Mexican restaurant to drink margaritas, overeat, and gossip/catch-up outside of work. It was fantastic, and exactly what I needed; while I see them all the time (and in fact had had a meeting with them at 3pm today), seeing people outside of work is just a little bit different.

I made it home safely and intended to go to bed at nine because I'm an octogenarian trapped in the body of a twentysomething. But instead, I got sucked into the online world. As mentioned before, I'm setting up an alter ego for my romance novel, and so I've spent some time over the past couple of days setting up a Facebook profile and adding friends (which broke my heart -- my own brother turned down my friend request). I also announced to my online Golden Heart group that I'm changing my name, and I spent way too much time dealing with some major interface challenges with Yahoo Groups (I know I'm biased, but this was ridiculous). But most ridiculously of all, I started a Twitter account for my alter ego. You can follow me @ramseyromance; I'm still evaluating what types of info I want to share on twitter, Facebook, and my romance blog, and I think my writer personality will emerge over time, but the sooner I get started, the less daunting it will be later.

But, blogging about two completely different things on two completely different blogs is a bit difficult, and now my brain is fried. I'll try to keep going with the double blogs, but I leave you with this pic that Can Sar said me (which he prefaced by asking what it meant about both of us that he saw it and thought that I needed to see it):