take me to church

I'm in Boston and it's almost three a.m., and I've had more than my body weight in alcohol, which should not surprise you since I'm visiting Ritu, who is perhaps the only true rival Adit has in terms of consistent ability to push my liver past its limits. [note: I don't actually hold either of them responsible; clearly the strange, wonderful alchemy of our friendships encourages us to keep going long past when we all know we should stop, because who would want such a wonderful thing to stop? it's just that in most of my relationships, the other person is smart enough to call a halt after the fifth drink rather than getting a crazy light in their eyes and going all in....]

sssanyway. Today was pretty much perfect, although I only got five and a half hours of sleep. I was so disoriented when the alarm went off at 5:30am that I bolted awake, thought 'I don't go to work anymore and no one owns me!', and almost went back to sleep before remembering that I had a plane to catch. So I hustled through the shower and out the door, and I made it to the airport in time to eat a proper breakfast and get an iced coffee before boarding, which was perfectly timed.

The flight was super uneventful (after they got the boarding door closed, which looked dicey for about five minutes), and I actually wrote 3200+ words, which is close to my record for a non-end-of-book day. Apparently knowing that there is no internet to check is good for my creativity; who knew. And that was even with some breaks to enjoy my coffee and play sudoku on my phone.

When I got to Boston, I discovered that Ritu was working later than planned. At first I bought a coffee, but then I realized that I was about to have a heart attack from so much caffeine, so I threw it away and went to a bar, where I had a glass of wine and wrote some more. I got another 800 words in and finished the scene, which was super awkward - awkward because I was writing the prologue (which I'd been putting off until today, when I have a flash of genius insight and realized that the prologue needed to be Lucy's grandfather's death, not Lucy in London or any other time), and to conjure the emotion needed for the scene I was channeling my own grandfather's death, which I have mostly ignored/not processed/refused to acknowledge for the past fourteen years. So as I was writing, I would occasionally write a line that made tears streak down my face, which looked SUPER DRAMATIC since I was sitting in an airport bar (pre-security, where not a lot of people hang out), drinking wine and looking at my laptop and silently crying. Oops.

But the scene is great, so #noregrets. Then I took a cab (after an uber fiasco) to Ritu's, where we proceeded with our glorious reunion. She's great, as always, and we're great together, and everything is great. We started with dinner at La Voile, where we split a bottle of wine (I chose it poorly, or else it was bad, but we drank it all) and had foie gras with duck and lardons (super super rich, obvi), and then I had a ribeye with french fries. I only ate eight of the ten ounces, which was probably for the best...because as soon as we were done there, we went to Eastern Standard (where we've been together before) and had second dinner.

Second dinner has become a tradition of ours, but usually second dinner happens when first dinner is ~5pm and second dinner is at midnight. Tonight, first dinner was at 8:30 and second dinner was at 11, which was waaaaaay too close together - especially since, for second dinner, we split another steak. Lolololol. But I had a cocktail named Inca Tea (or something similar), with pisco and tea and all sorts of other goodness, which was delightful. Then, I switched to the Dutch Courage, which was mostly like an old fashioned, and I loved that as well.

At some point, Ritu's friend Steph (yet another Steph from the other two friends of Ritu's whose names are Steph) joined us, so Ritu and I had to stop congratulating each other on how great we are and incorporate her into the fold. Luckily, she was wearing a great shirt covered in elephants, so she fit right in. We finished off the steak (rather abruptly), and had dessert, and I declared that we weren't ordering a third drink because otherwise we would have had ten more. But our waiter, who adored us (okay, maybe he didn't adore us, but he humored Ritu for several minutes while she tried to convince him that 'Bread and Leather' would be a great title for a romance novel - and it's such a bad title that the single guy sitting next to me interjected himself into the conversation to say it was awful), took my joke about a shot-like cocktail to heart and ran with it, so we ended up with shots for the road (so welcome, so not necessary). Steph had had a drink called 'The Long Goodbye', and I had said that it would be great if they had shots called 'The Short Goodbye' - and he came back with our bill and three shotglasses of something that they chose to call 'The Final Word'. Apparently my ability to charm waitstaff into drinks spans timezones....

Then Ritu and I came home (with a truly weird lyft driver, but c'est la vie), and I am desperate for sleep. And I'm not as drunk as I thought I was, since typing wasn't much of a challenge tonight...but I'm sure I'll rectify that on Sunday (Ritu is working tomorrow night, so the liver gets a reprieve). Goodnight!

the words that i sent to you, never got into you

Today was another slog, and I need to trek to Mountain View and pick up my new glasses tomorrow, because I think my eyes will be happier if I stop subjecting them to contact lenses and computer screens for sixteen hours a day. But I'm really happy with what I got done - I finalized the cover and title for Lucy's book (which will be announced on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter tomorrow, although the preorder is already live on iBooks because I set it up tonight). That took me a ton of time because I made the cover myself - this is not typically advised in publishing circles, but I decided to abandon the cover that I'd paid for a year and a half ago because I realized the guy was too ugly to salvage, and I couldn't wait the 2-3mos to get on my cover designer's waitlist. So I decided to try doing it myself, learning more about photoshop as I went - and I think it turned out pretty well. Well enough that it looks professional and pretty, at least. And now I'm itching to redesign all my covers...but that's definitely not necessary at this particular moment.

So anyway, I played with photoshop until almost two, when I realized I was incredibly hungry (two scrambled eggs and some iced coffee before that weren't enough to last all day). So I made some fancy tuna (which is just tuna, but with celery and shallot and parsley and s/p/cayenne and lemon juice, along with homemade mayo, because I had all those things on hand and fancy tuna salad in a bowl with no bread feels marginally less sad than regular tuna salad). Then I went to the grocery store, came home, and made dinner....

...which took four hours because I used a slow cooker, which was about four hours longer than I wanted to wait, but I really wanted to try this recipe. I made slow cooker chicken tikka masala, which turned out superbly - it was really tasty and the spices were balanced, and it was really easy to make (and would be even better if I set it up in the morning to cook all day, rather than impatiently waiting for it to cook in the late afternoon). I also tried a new technique for cauliflower rice and thought it was great - rather than sauteeing it (which takes work), I microwaved it (per this technique from epicurious), and it was perfect.

So, my dinner, at least, was a success. And the rest of the night wasn't bad either - I did some more work, made some lists, took care of some admin stuff, and quietly contemplated Lucy's story while all that other busy-work was going on in the foreground. But now I really need to sleep so I can slog all over again tomorrow - goodnight!

this was all you, none of it me

I'm back in San Francisco and I need to go to bed, but I had quite a successful retreat. I slept a little later this morning, but I considered the story while I was in the shower, and I'm feeling good about where it might (maybe, possibly) be headed. When I went downstairs, I spent a couple of hours chatting with Barbara and Lisa + taking care of a bunch of other random to-dos and emails that I'd neglected over the weekend. Then, Lisa and I went across the street to Starbucks to get coffee, since the french vanilla flavored Keurig coffee wasn't doing it for me at all - I probably should have sucked it up and driven to the real Starbucks, since the coffee at Safeway was lukewarm and tasted like burning, but the caffeine content was what mattered, so at least that was a success.

When I got back to the house, I did a bit more work, and then I made myself an omelette (with cheddar, leftover salmon from last night, and pesto on top with some roasted potatoes on the side - last night's leftovers turned into an awesome breakfast). Barbara sat with me on the deck while I ate, and it was so idyllic - the beach and lake were mostly empty since most people were back at work, and the view and the weather and the sun were all perfect.

After I ate, I wrote for another hour or so and got several more pages of Lucy's story, so that's great. But at four p.m. I had to throw in the towel so that I could pack all my stuff (it's remarkable how much my stuff got strewn about the house in less than seventy-two hours) and load up my car. Lisa and I said our goodbyes to Barbara and were on the road by five, and we made excellent time - there was no traffic, and I got out of the mountains before the sun started shining directly into my eyes, so we made it to Walnut Creek (where I dropped her off) by 7:45, which is a new record. After I dropped her off, I found a Chipotle and grabbed dinner since I was starving and knew I wouldn't be able to make it home (and that there would be no food in the fridge when I got here). Then I drove the rest of the way home, making it here by 8:45, which would have been good time from Tahoe even if I hadn't stopped to drop Lisa off and have dinner.

When I got here, I failed to unpack - I just messed around online and got ready for bed instead. And now I need to sleep - I want to work in the morning, and I have a writing date in the afternoon and dinner plans in the evening, so it's back to my usual grind. Goodnight!

it's all your fault i screen my phone calls

I had a great day, despite some initial sloth, and now that I'm staring down the beginning of Lucy's book in earnest, it's probably time to quietly keep reminding myself that a) I've written six books, so I can surely write a seventh; b) the beginning always feels like shoving through molasses; c) it's possible to accomplish a lot in one or two solid hours and I shouldn't hate myself for how I spent the rest of them (although it would induce more happiness if I spent the rest of them reading or wandering through the city instead of aimlessly scrolling through twitter).

But despite the early sloth, I managed to recover. I spent the morning cleaning up stuff around the house, and then I engaged in some sloth, and then I took a bath to reset (bathing/showering often helps me reframe and get into the story again, provided I'm not angry about something, in which case showering is an opportunity to plot murder). Then I ran to Whole Foods to pick up a couple of things for this afternoon - my timing was far less ideal than it was on Friday, so the lines were ridiculous, but I was in and out about as efficiently as I could have been today.

After the grocery store, I met up with Tom for a writing date at Quetzal. I don't actually like Quetzal, but they have plenty of space and are v. conveniently located between us (and my jasmine tea, since I was avoiding sugar and non-heavy-cream milk products and so couldn't get a coffee, was serviceable enough). Tom and I caught up for a little bit, and then I wrote for awhile and actually got three pages, which was better than I expected - hopefully that will give me some momentum for tomorrow.

But I had to end early - the Shedletskys were coming over for dinner/Olympics watching, and so I needed to come home and prep. I made chicken bouillabaisse, which is one of my go-tos for meat-eaters when I want to make something that looks/tastes impressive but is actually easy (and whose leftovers I will happily eat for a couple of days). There's something wrong with the rouille recipe to go with it - rouille is a mayonnaise, and while it came together flawlessly the first time I ever made it, I've never been able to get it to come together since then (although even the runny, oily mess is tasty, since it's full of oil and egg and garlic and lemon and salt and saffron). But the chicken and potatoes are out of this world delicious - and if it weren't for the cup of wine and 3tbsp of Pernod in the base, it would be pretty close to the paleo-type whole30ish thing I'm doing. So, at least for this time, I'm calling it a win.

Of course, drinking my share of two bottles of wine is not whole30-approved - but Shedletsky brought a v. nice pinot noir, and then I made the mistake of opening a bottle that I'd bought when we had our epic wine tasting afternoon in Sonoma last year, so of course we had to finish that as well. Ostensibly we were going to watch the closing ceremonies, but those seemed boring, so we instead flipped through some esoteric sports whose rules we didn't know (air rifle, handgun, skeet, synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, etc.), and that was super fun.

But they eventually left, and I ran the dishwasher and did some writing admin stuff and drank some water (and, admittedly, ate some ice cream - I never crave ice cream, but I've had it twice in three days since starting to kind of move toward this whole30ish thing, which is a little weird...but I'm going to blame it on all the leftovers in my freezer from my Olympics party, which I should probably toss). And now it's time for bed - I'm pretty recovered from the wedding and excited to move forward on Lucy's story, so it's time to get some sleep and hit it in earnest tomorrow. Goodnight!

you'd still enjoy it with your foot on masada

Okay, today was really long, but I got a lot of stuff done that I had intended to get done, so I feel good about that. I didn't get up until 9:30 since I went to bed so stupidly late last night (a feat I'm on track to repeat tonight), but then I cleared things off my table and took care of things in the kitchen so that I could start working by 11. And I actually worked for several hours (four-ish, which is less than I need to work but more than I've worked on a book since finishing the last one) - most of it was research, along with some daydreaming, but I think I'm tiptoeing toward a viable plot and am nearly ready to begin writing in earnest.

But then I took a break to go to Staples to buy markers (so very necessary, because I only have like a hundred markers), and also to a hardware store to buy some supplies for a home project. Then I came home, turned on the Olympics (last night's coverage, then tonight's coverage), and did three loads of laundry, ordered Indian takeout (I look like such a poser with mehndi on my hands and a bag full of butter chicken), and organized all of my jewelry (verdict: I have too much stuff, but I always want more) while watching. I also put away the rest of the stuff that I'd dumped in my apartment after coming back from the wedding - I have more stuff than I had when I left, which is unfortunate since my place is too small for more stuff, but I'll deal with that later.

Then I continued to watch the Olympics while working on my secret home project for awhile - we'll see whether it comes to fruition. But it's suddenly almost one a.m., and I have stuff to do in the morning before another writing date with Barbara and Deborah, so I should sleep and prep for that. But at least I'm not Ryan Lochte (or, worse, one of the swimmers he was with who didn't make it out of Brazil in time - lolololol). Goodnight!

taffy stuck and tongue tied

I once again didn't get enough done today, but I'm still going to chalk it up as a win. When I woke up this morning, I had to scurry around like a crazy woman to get ready for someone to come and clean my apartment - yes, I cleaned before the cleaning. But there were things I needed to put away and tidy and straighten to make the cleaning as effective as possible. And while it felt indulgent to pay someone to clean a studio, which I am typically capable of keeping clean myself, I'm glad that I did - since I've been gone so much, it was descending into filth (the wampdevils were in danger of consuming the bathroom floor entirely), and my stomach woes make me unfit for cleaning.

So anyway, the person I hired showed up at 9:30, and he did a pretty good job - his vacuuming was perhaps less thorough than mine would have been, but since I despise vacuuming, I'll take it. While he was cleaning, I took care of some other things around the apartment, and also sent some emails, and made some lists, and generally tried to organize myself for the many other tasks ahead.

As soon as he was gone, I gathered my things and drove down to San Mateo. I had a writing date with Barbara, but I went early to eat a salad at Specialtys (which made my stomach hurt) and go to Target to buy some household tings (which I would have had delivered, but Google Express couldn't deliver anytime in the next two-three days, which is *not* the definition of Express). Then I met Barbara and worked for a couple of hours - I didn't produce many real words because I went down a rabbit-hole of trying to find a name for the hero, and then I realized that I may want a different kind of name entirely because he may be the rougher, more self-made sort, so perhaps all of this was for naught.

sssanyway. Around 4:30 I parted ways with Barbara, who will be in Hawaii for the next week, so there will be no more writing dates (not that there would have anyway, since I'll be consumed with wedding stuff). Then I went to Diddams and got some party stuff. And then I spent an hour driving home, which got on my nerves....

...so when I got here, rather than cleaning things or organizing things or doing the million things on my to-do list, I ate some leftover pizza and spent a couple of glorious hours reading 'A Natural History of English Gardening: 1650-1800'. Yes, I understand that you may not find this glorious. And, to be fair, I'm not entirely in love - the guy is entirely too wordy for the points he's attempting to make in some places. But the book itself is gorgeous - well-suited for a coffee table, and he did some beautiful illustrations, and the research is interesting. It also pointed me toward a book about women and gardening that I think will be far more useful for the purpose of Lucy's story, so maybe I'll read that in my off-time tomorrow.

But there shouldn't be much off-time tomorrow - I *must* go grocery shopping in the morning, and bake some cakes, and get some liquor, and do some laundry, and generally do the things I should have done tonight. So sleeping now would be a good idea - goodnight!

i love cheap thrills

I'm still in recovery mode from this weekend's adventures, so today was kind of rough. I spent the morning trying to get my life back into some semblance of order - answering a few emails (not enough), ordering groceries, doing laundry, making appointments, etc., etc. My house is nowhere close to tidy and I have a ton of stuff to do if I'm going to host an olympics party anytime soon, but at least I got some basics taken care of.

But then, after messing around online and eating some eggs and generally trying to motivate myself, I scurried down to San Bruno and met Barbara for a writing date. We talked for longer than we should have (mostly about ads, but also about life), but I eventually settled in to write, and I officially produced the first page of Lucy's story. No idea if it's going to stick or if I'll keep going with that storyline, but it's a start. And it's odd to start a book, I must say - opening up a new file and conjuring a story completely from scratch is a strange thing to do with one's life.

When I finished with that, I parted ways with Barbara, drove home, took care of a couple of things, and then made the v. unusual move of knocking on my neighbor's door. I had run into the guy in that couple in the elevator, and something compelled me to ask what he does for a living, at which point he mentioned that he's looking for a job. So I told him that I have some contacts (lol), and he said I should stop by for a glass of wine when I got home. And I actually followed through, and we had a nice chat.

It turns out that his wife was on her way to a historical fiction book club (which, in retrospect, would have been way more fun for me than talking about the tech scene), but we all talked for twenty minutes or so - and then he and I finished the bottle of wine that he'd opened while discussing the neighborhood, the shitty aspects of our building and the management company (while I merely had some tiny leaks, they have an actual hole in a closet, which sounds way worse), favorite restaurants, methods of coffee brewing (I think I sold him on an aeropress), etc., etc. So it was a rather interesting and impromptu evening, and we'll have to do it again in a week or two because we ended up not talking about tech at all.

But by the time I left their place (and walked two feet to my place - next time I'm not going to wear shoes; and also, we could just break into each other's places anytime anyway, since we share a terrace and both leave our windows open), I was *starving*, and so spending an hour making the soup I was going to make tonight wasn't in the cards. So I ordered some subpar curry from Sprig (the first thing that has ever disappointed me from them, but maybe I was too hungry to appreciate it), messed around online, and generally did very little - I'm tired, and my stomach still hurts, and I think relaxation and sleep tonight are important so that I can try to get a lot done tomorrow.

And on that note, it's time for bed - goodnight!

if i hadn't blown the whole thing years ago i might be here with you

I'm nearly as tired as I was last night, but I'm going to rally and provide some content to keep the masses (aka my mother) from coming after me with pitchforks. Today was a slow reentry to the grind, although most of you will probably not accept me calling my life a 'grind', so let's start over.

I woke up this morning, threw on some clothes, and was at Philz by nine, where I worked for the rest of the morning. I'm trying to come up with a plot for Lucy's story, which is slow going since I know very little about her world except for what I said in Octavia's story...and that gives me some stuff to work on, but it's not enough. I had an idea for her already, but I'm doing my due diligence to make sure that idea has enough conflict built in to create a whole story from - but it's possible that I'm overthinking it and need to start writing. We'll see, we'll see.

Around noon, I came home and inadvertently took a nap - I'm still a little burned out socially from my conference, so I seem to be sleepy. But I woke up and went to Lers Ros for a late lunch since I still haven't bought groceries - I had some thai food to revive me, and I spent another hour scribbling plot notes into my notebook, so that was all great.

When I got home I really wanted to slack off, but I forced myself to watch a couple of hours of video tutorials about facebook ads (life is glamorous). But by 6:30 I was beyond done, and also needed to clean myself up, so I showered, threw on some clothes, and walked down the street to my dinner date.

Dinner was with Lauren (aka Subz) at Gardenias, which I hadn't been to before - it may become our new go-to for #girlsnightout. It's only five blocks or so from me, which makes it appealing as my possible elusive Des Amis replacement (although it's five slightly sketchier blocks than my Marina haunts, so I don't know). They had several interesting and delightful wines on tap, and the food was great - we split some mushrooms and some avocado/lime/cucumber dish to start, both of which were fantastic, and I had a pork chop that made me as happy as pork usually makes me. We were both in the mood for dessert, but Lauren had her heart set on a fruit crisp that I couldn't eat, so I had meringue and mint ice cream, and we both finished all of our desserts, so they were clearly delish.

And, of course, seeing Lauren was as great as it always is. We had a lot to catch up on, since I hadn't seen her since the night before I left for Iowa, but Gardenias gave us ample time and ambiance to discuss our lives. When it was finally time for us to part, she gave me a ride home in her lyft, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again when I'm back from my next adventure.

But now I need to sleep - I have tings to do tomorrow, and books to write and marketing plans to make, and those things won't happen without sleep. Goodnight!

come on over baby

I'm going to actually try to go to bed before 12:30, which would be a new record for my time at home. Today was okay, all in all, although I got very little done, and what I tried to get done ended up breaking everything....

I spent most of the morning/afternoon hanging out on the patio. It was only seventy-ish degrees and cloudy all day, so it wasn't the most beautiful day on the patio ever, but it was probably way more comfortable than it will be tomorrow, when it should hit 95 degrees again. My mom joined me for quite a bit of this, which was lovely. We also took a break to help [censored] with [censored] before he [censored], although it's unclear whether [censored] survived the adventure (fingers crossed!). And I spent a little bit of time scribbling notes about Lucy's story in my notebook - I want to start writing this week, or at least have a better sense of where the story is headed.

Eventually, though, I came inside and ate the bounty of my dad's afternoon activity - he used his smoker to make ribs, along with an experiment in pork belly, and it was all so fucking good. I am fond of pork, while [censored] isn't, so it's a good thing he had to [censored]. But the ribs were delicious and the pork belly was fantastic (and would be even more fantastic if it were grilled or fried after being smoked), and my mom's potatoes and green beans were a delightful addition.

So we mostly didn't talk while eating all of that, since we were all in our own individual hog heavens (had to, #sorrynotsorry). Then I started messing around with my website again, and I tried a new wordpress theme that broke everything (including my old theme). I got it back to the point where it's a viable website again, but I need to decide whether to keep going down the wordpress route, or whether to finish the Squarespace site that I was playing around with (which looks very pretty, but has some limitations), or whether to do something else entirely. Decisions, decisions.

But now I really need to sleep - there's lots I want to get done tomorrow (mostly sitting in the sun drinking coffee, rather than sitting in the clouds drinking coffee) - goodnight!

selling the drama

I didn't get much done today - as mentioned last night, I kind of hit the wall, and that feeling continued through most of today. It didn't help that I stayed in bed until ten, but that felt necessary. But I spent most of the day sitting on the patio (first with coffee, then with iced tea). For the majority of it, I did nothing but some desultory checking of sales rankings and social media. But then I did some brainstorming for Lucy's story (get ready for new names! I will no longer be talking about Rafe and Octavia!) while trying to move as little as possible so as not to scare the kittens who were also eager to hang out on the patio (but not eager to hang out with oh-so-threatening humans). The brainstorming went well and I might actually be excited about her story...but since I have no idea who her hero is, what he does, what his issues are, or even what his name is, it might be premature to start writing.

Eventually, though, I put everything away, took a shower, and drove into town. My parents' political party was selling food on the town square as a fundraiser - there's music on the square every Thursday during most of the summer, and different groups take turns selling food for it to raise money. I dropped my mom off, took her car home, talked briefly to Katie, and then went back into town to eat, since there would be no supper for me otherwise. They were serving smoked pork (delicious) and baked beans, and also some excellent hot dogs, and pie that I couldn't eat, but I didn't miss pie when I could have a hot dog instead.

This also allowed me to see a variety of townsfolk (the former owner of the flower shop; my old piano teacher; my friend Elaina's mom; the county attorney; the sheriff; various and sundry other people). I was likely the only person there who is on Nancy Pelosi's email distribution list, which was a comment that drew much amusement and head-shaking, but they didn't run me out of town, so I'd say it was a success.

Eventually, I came home, and I guess I lied about getting nothing done because I spent the last five hours working on website stuff. It doesn't feel like I got anything done because it's not done and that time would have been better spent taking care of other tasks, but c'est la vie. And now I need to sleep - goodnight!