i only want to sing your song

I need to stop looking at screens *immediately* - which is what I told myself an hour ago. Today was chock full of meetings and talking - it started at nine a.m. and continued straight through to six, including a presentation to my team and also a presentation to the new team I got reorged under (luckily, 130 people doesn't feel like very many when most of them are on videoconference).

So, needless to say, I was wiped out by the end. I came home, tidied up my kitchen, and reheated the last of some ribeye for dinner - along with two fried eggs and some hashbrowns (maybe not totally whole30 approved, although they didn't contain any forbidden ingredients, so #yolo). This was the height of restraint on my part, since all I wanted to do was drink a bottle of wine and watch Top Chef until I passed out. Instead, I did some laundry, did some dishes, and then worked for two more hours because I'm a masochist.

But now I'm really logging off and going to bed - goodnight!

good morning sophie

I tapped out my social energy today - or maybe I'm just physically exhausted from trampolining, not clear. I also haven't gotten quite enough sleep in the last week to recover from staying up reading until super late one night last week + staying up until 2am putting my office together Saturday night. So even though it's 10:13pm, I'm going to close my laptop, go upstairs, and go to bed as soon as I finish this post (I swear!).

But today was good(ish) - I had an early meeting that I took from home, and then I went to the nice office and had three minutes to grab breakfast to take to my next meeting. We ended up meeting, quite unnecessarily, in an old RV that has been brought in and parked next to the barista - so I ate my breakfast on a formica tabletop in a 50s-style RV while discussing some tech requirements for something. Yes, my life is the opposite of what it was a year ago when I was en route to Bali....

Then I had some more meetings, spent 90mins writing an email I didn't end up sending, ate some lunch, went to my building (less nice, but still fine), and then had a team offsite. We went to a trampoline place in Arvada, and the person who organized it bought a two hour pass because we had the money for it - but we all realized pretty quickly that two hours of trampolining (even with trampoline dodgeball and trampoline basketball and a variety of other things) was way more trampolining that any of us wanted. So we adjourned slightly early and went to Denver to have a drink and dinner - which was so close to Katie that I really just wanted to see her instead, but I had to drive people home, so I couldn't sneak out.

We ended up at a place called Recess, which was perfect - Andy's girlfriend (who also works at our company) met us there with their dog, and we sat out on the patio under a heat lamp that was almost unnecessary - it was 60+ degrees here today, so eating outside in January was actually viable. I tried my best to stick with the Whole30 - I didn't have alcohol or grains or cheese, and I skipped my beloved ketchup because of the sugar.  But I did get fries, which were almost certainly cooked in some sort of forbidden oil - but if that was the only thing that I slipped on, I'm not sorry.

Then I drove some people back to Boulder, came home, wandered around like a zombie, changed my sheets, and journaled to clear my head. And now I'm really, truly going to bed - goodnight!

i feel like i'm always dreaming

I had meant to log off an hour ago - but at least it's only 10:15pm, rather than 1am like it usually is when I make a statement like that. I spent some quality time tonight answering email, which I believe all of you know is my least favorite activity - and there are lots of things lurking in my inbox, many of which were several months old. I'm still not through everything, but I feel much better about my contribution as a human now that I've gotten through some of them...

The rest of my day was also fantastic, all in all. I woke up at 8:30 feeling like I could have easily slept another couple of hours, but Katie was coming at 9:30, so I needed to get going. However, I was moving v. slowly due to last night's late bedtime (I ended up going to sleep after 2am), so when Katie showed up, I wasn't wearing a shirt and hadn't finished my makeup. The shirt was rectified before she found my front door, and she's seen me without makeup many times (and also as a teenager, when no amount of makeup could fix my face and the makeup choices that I made probably made it all worse).

So Katie hung out upstairs and looked at all the high school photos I found while I slowly put on makeup (it's hard to move fast when you take a break every thirty seconds to look at the photos she was laughing at). I had a real treasure trove of high school stuff, and it was pretty entertaining to look through it all. Then we walked down Pearl Street and had brunch at Zeal - it's very paleo, which was good since we're both doing Whole30 and couldn't eat a lot of brunch options. I didn't totally love the bowl I ordered, but that was my own fault since I don't particularly love kimchi and the fact that I'm doing Whole30 doesn't mean I'm going to like kimchi any better now - but I wanted to taste something different than sweet potatoes and kale, since I get plenty of that in the rest of my life. But the vibe was delightfully Boulderish, which is very similar to Palo Alto or Berkeley or Marin - rich people pretending to be progressive hippies by eating free range organic food and complaining about economic growth while simultaneously blocking all property development so that their personal real estate wealth will keep going up.

So I enjoyed my $5 kickstart coffee (coffee with coconut oil and butter, so silicon valley) and my meandering conversation with Katie - it felt right at home (because it's not so different from San Francisco) and also totally alien (because it was the first meal I had out since getting back from Iowa, and Zeal is pretty much the opposite of Seymour's only restaurant).

Then I gave Katie a tour of the new office building, and then we went to Whole Foods together (what is it about produce sections that prompts inappropriate conversations?). Then she went back to her family and I spent some quality time doing absolutely nothing. I also called my parents, who were in fine form. And then I procrastinated some more before making dinner (the second ribeye in my fridge, which I stopped cooking at the rare point so that I wouldn't set off the smoke alarm) and answering emails (yay/boo).

And now I need to unwind and consider going to bed - goodnight!

say you won't let go

I meant to go to bed two hours ago...but you've heard that one before. I'm pretty pleased with what I got done today, though - true, I didn't get up until 9:45, but that was fine by me. I spent the rest of the morning journaling and drinking coffee, which was v. pleasant. Then I made a late breakfast and spent all afternoon/evening doing homemaker-type stuff. This mostly involved organizing my jewelry and tidying up my bedroom (all those annoying last few things to put away were eating into my space...and while I didn't put them all away, it's closer).

Then I went to Whole Foods to grab stuff for dinner - I made my favorite amatriciana sauce (bacon, red onions, garlic, red pepper flakes + tomato sauce that I made a couple of months ago and froze) and tossed it with zucchini noodles instead of spaghetti. This was satisfyingly delicious - it would have been better with a lot of cheese, but as far as the spaghetti substitute itself goes, it was pretty tasty.

Then I spent the last few hours organizing my office. I think I need to buy one more shelf or cabinet of some kind, but that can wait - I'm now at the point where all my books are well-organized, my mementoes and other inspirations are properly displayed, and my bulletin boards are covered in a pleasing hodgepodge of photos, old cards, quotes, and other memories. I think I want to swap out some of the photos at some point, since I haven't printed new photos for the board in a couple of years - but this is a good start. I still have some lingering stuff to put away, and I want to get some art for the wall, but again, that can all wait.

But then I suddenly realized it was one a.m., which means I need to sleep immediately since I have grand plans to have fun, cook, journal, work, and generally be productive tomorrow. Goodnight!

lightning and the thunder (thunder)

I just realized I need to go to bed immediately - my first meeting is at 8am tomorrow, which feels cruel since I'm not really ready to be fully back into the swing of things. But today was decent, all in all - my first meeting was at 10, and I took it from home because I made myself breakfast first (scrambled eggs with spinach ([censored]'s favorite!), shallots, mushrooms, and crushed red pepper flakes), which was totally the right move. Then I went into the office - the convenience of being a seven minute drive from the office cannot be overstated. Once I got there, I mostly had meetings, but I was done a little before six - so I stopped at Whole Foods to pick up food before coming home and cooking.

Dinner was ribeye (happily, I didn't set off the smoke alarm - the only good way to cook ribeye on the stove is at high heat, which yields more smoke than one might wish to have in one's apartment) and green beans, and they were both pretty fucking delish - the steak turned out perfectly (helped along by some clarified butter at the end), and I tried a new green bean recipe that resulted in some v. delish, slightly/perfectly charred beans.

Then, however, I went deep into sloth - I did manage to trim my bangs and clean up the kitchen and put away some laundry, but otherwise I wasted several hours online. But tomorrow is another day, and it will be here all too soon, so it's time for bed - goodnight!

searching for my last shaker of salt

I have the worst headache tonight - I can't tell if it's from staring at screens all day, or from the altitude, or from dehydration, or something else. Whatever it is, I'm hoping that some sleep will make it all go away....

But today was a pretty decent first day back at work. I really didn't want to get up this morning, especially since I didn't have my car here (I'd left it at the office over break) and knew I was going to have to either lyft or walk over to get it. I ended up opting for a walk, and I chose to stop at the new building on the way - we just opened a new campus last month, and while my team wasn't one that moved, I'd heard great things about the new space.

And now that I've checked it out, I never want to work anywhere else. The cafe is on the fourth floor with a view of the mountains, so I ate breakfast while looking out over my new(ish) hometown. I also spent some quality time journaling, both personal and work, since that seemed like a good way to kick off my first work day back. And then I spent most of the day in the 'library', which has comfy chairs, a v. quiet vibe, and plenty of ambience for pleasant concentration. I powered through some emails and also got down to business on some stuff I need to get done this week, so that was all good.

But around 4pm I decided I had done enough, so I walked to my building and got my car, then went to Whole Foods to stock up on groceries since I'll be here for ten whole days before I leave again. When I got home, I made some chicken and sweet potatoes (something I used to make in SF before I started traveling) and took care of some writing business stuff that I'd been putting off. And then I watched a couple of episodes of Top Chef - I'm almost done with the season I'm watching (Charleston), which means as soon as I'm through with it, I can start watching the current season (taking place in Denver, so I'm eager to see what they decide to feature).

And now I need to sleep and hope my headache goes away - goodnight!

cut your teeth

Yesterday was great for writing, and today wasn't. I woke up with grand plans (despite too much coughing), but I got sidetracked by some administrative stuff, and then I couldn't get in the zone. Finally, I walked over to Fillmore and tried writing at Starbucks - but I sat next to the wrong person (a slightly batty old woman who might have been in the early stages of dementia, or maybe just doesn't have any social skills), and she kept trying to talk to me. I still got two pages, but that was a far cry from yesterday's productivity.

Then I stopped at Whole Foods on the way home, which took too long since it was peak time. Then I made soup, which also took way longer than anticipated - the recipe claimed 45mins, but it took more like 80. The soup was an attempt to rid myself of this cold once and for all - I can't have chicken noodle soup, and I'm avoiding corn, so chicken tortilla soup was also out. But I made some paleo-type chicken soup with carrots, celery, onion, garlic, ginger, turmeric, cauliflower, and other herbs, and it turned out pretty well. I thought it cooked down a little too much, so I added some extra liquid before storing it - but otherwise, it was what I wanted.

As I was getting ready to eat it, Chandlord showed up unexpectedly, so we caught up for awhile. After she left, I was going to write - but it still didn't happen, and now I'm tired. Tomorrow's another day, though - so I'm going to take my cough and my surliness and go to bed. Goodnight!

i traveled the world and the seven seas

Today was a slow, lazy Sunday, with an adrenaline spike in the middle of the afternoon that left me drained for the rest of it. Thanks to last night's adventure with bourbon and nostalgia ('bourbon and nostalgia' is usually the best way to describe these occasional nights with Adit and Vidya), I stayed in bed until noon, which was not my original plan for the day, but c'est la vie.

Eventually, I dragged myself out of bed, took a shower, made some iced coffee, and settled in with my laptop to get some work done. But I got an email from a reader, which I almost didn't read right away because I assumed it was a standard fan note (either praise or disdain). Luckily, I opened it - and discovered that when I did all that work last week to reformat all of my existing books, redo all the links, etc., etc., I had a made a single, rather serious mistake. Somehow, when I replaced the second book on iBooks, I accidentally uploaded the interior file for the fourth book instead. That means that whoever bought the second book on iBooks this weekend opened it up and got Prudence's story instead of Amelia's.

Boooooo. Needless to say, I was pretty appalled. These things happen; I've heard of author friends with traditional Big 5 publishers whose releases were totally screwed up because the wrong file was uploaded, or was missing chapters, or was formatted so badly as to be unreadable. But I don't like making mistakes.

Luckily, it appears this was the only mistake I made. Also, <50 affected="" afternoon="" an="" and="" annoyed.="" but="" can="" contacting="" directly="" file="" get="" got="" have="" hours="" i="" it="" no="" now.="" of="" p="" people="" processed="" really="" right="" so="" still="" the="" them="" think="" this="" three="" updated="" uploaded="" was="" way="" were="" whoever="" within="" wrong="">
So that took a lot of time that I'd intended to spend writing. Then I put on sunscreen, sat on my terrace (it was a gorgeous day today and I wanted to soak up some sun), and called my parents. I'll be seeing them on Tuesday (!), but we had our usual catch-up anyway. Then I came inside, cooked some bacon and chicken and boiled a couple of eggs, and made a cobb salad for tonight + enough for another one tomorrow.

The rest of the night was fairly slothful, although I wrote a bunch of emails and took care of some other tasks. And now I need to sleep so I can get through my massive to-do list before leaving for Iowa - goodnight!

i've got a line on the new frontier

Today was one of those gloriously empty days in which I could have theoretically done everything, and instead I did virtually nothing. But I did reset my planner, and contemplate Lucy, and do three loads of laundry, and go grocery shopping, and make this insanely delicious slow cooker broccoli beef (paleo approved!), so I guess it wasn't a bad day, all things considered.

But I need to hit it harder tomorrow, and I have social plans, so I think I'll go to bed early so that I can reset in the morning. Goodnight!

the words that i sent to you, never got into you

Today was another slog, and I need to trek to Mountain View and pick up my new glasses tomorrow, because I think my eyes will be happier if I stop subjecting them to contact lenses and computer screens for sixteen hours a day. But I'm really happy with what I got done - I finalized the cover and title for Lucy's book (which will be announced on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter tomorrow, although the preorder is already live on iBooks because I set it up tonight). That took me a ton of time because I made the cover myself - this is not typically advised in publishing circles, but I decided to abandon the cover that I'd paid for a year and a half ago because I realized the guy was too ugly to salvage, and I couldn't wait the 2-3mos to get on my cover designer's waitlist. So I decided to try doing it myself, learning more about photoshop as I went - and I think it turned out pretty well. Well enough that it looks professional and pretty, at least. And now I'm itching to redesign all my covers...but that's definitely not necessary at this particular moment.

So anyway, I played with photoshop until almost two, when I realized I was incredibly hungry (two scrambled eggs and some iced coffee before that weren't enough to last all day). So I made some fancy tuna (which is just tuna, but with celery and shallot and parsley and s/p/cayenne and lemon juice, along with homemade mayo, because I had all those things on hand and fancy tuna salad in a bowl with no bread feels marginally less sad than regular tuna salad). Then I went to the grocery store, came home, and made dinner....

...which took four hours because I used a slow cooker, which was about four hours longer than I wanted to wait, but I really wanted to try this recipe. I made slow cooker chicken tikka masala, which turned out superbly - it was really tasty and the spices were balanced, and it was really easy to make (and would be even better if I set it up in the morning to cook all day, rather than impatiently waiting for it to cook in the late afternoon). I also tried a new technique for cauliflower rice and thought it was great - rather than sauteeing it (which takes work), I microwaved it (per this technique from epicurious), and it was perfect.

So, my dinner, at least, was a success. And the rest of the night wasn't bad either - I did some more work, made some lists, took care of some admin stuff, and quietly contemplated Lucy's story while all that other busy-work was going on in the foreground. But now I really need to sleep so I can slog all over again tomorrow - goodnight!

my name is no, my sign is no, my number is no

Today was almost fully productive, which made me happy. I still got up later than planned (I am such a sloth in the mornings when I don't have to be anywhere), but I was at my desk by nine, and I wrote steadily until almost noon. I also came up with an excellent idea to tie some stuff together that was bothering me about the plot, so I felt pretty smug about that.

Then I left the house and sped down to San Mateo, where I went to the gym and worked out for the first time in months. It was embarrassing how long it's been - long enough that my kettlebell calluses are mostly gone and I'm going to have to earn them back. Also, doing swings kind of made me want to throw up. But I did a version of a workout I would have done three months ago (although I dropped the weight on the swings/snatches so that I wouldn't accidentally hurt myself), and it felt really good to go back. I'm going to try to be more disciplined about going to the gym whenever I meet up for writing dates with Anne and Barbara - adding a 45min workout in my day really isn't stopping me from writing enough, and it's good for me (and it's way better than wasting those 45mins on twitter).

However, I'm sure I'll be sore tomorrow and will regret whatever blithe assertions I've made about how often I'm going to work out going forward. But that's a problem for tomorrow. The rest of my day was lovely - I showered at the gym and ate one of their paleo to-go lunches (one thing that would be hard if I left the bay area is that I've gotten used to all my gluten-free/paleo-ish whims being catered to, which isn't true everywhere). Then I met up with Anne and Barbara. We spent three hours at Starbucks, and while we talked the first hour, I definitely got more stuff done during the next two hours - I wrote a few pages in which my hero's family sprung up from nowhere, so that was kind of fun (the writing process is weird and inexplicable).

But by 5pm I was done. The drive home took an hour, which was very displeasing. But when I got here, I messed around for a little bit, and then I ate an apple because I was starving, and then I made dinner - roasted chicken thighs and sweet potatoes and shallots. This may sound kind of boring, but a) it was all roasted in the same dish, which made it super easy, and b) it was covered in garlic and a vinaigrette of olive oil, red wine vinegar, dijon, italian seasoning, so it was actually really delicious. I found the recipe here; I skipped the tarragon, but otherwise thought it turned out really well. And that vinaigrette would probably be good on roasted fish too (although the potatoes would have to be cooked separate in that case) - I'll have to try it sometime.

While the chicken was cooking, I spent some quality time cleaning out my bathroom - I have way more cosmetics/beauty products than anyone needs, and things were getting messy enough that it was starting to stress me out (because that's the kind of person I am - the kind who gets stressed by messes hiding in closed drawers). Order has now been restored, which means I can move on with my life (or, more likely, start stressing about my closet instead).

After I'd finished with the bathroom and eaten my chicken, I watched an episode of 'Project Runway' and sent/answered emails until I was tired of that activity. And now I need to sleep - I have grand plans to get a lot done tomorrow, especially since my weekend is shaping up to be v. social. Goodnight!

shake it up just like bad medicine

I had an awesome day in Denver and would move here immediately if it weren't for how daunting packing and finding a new apartment is (and also all my friends in San Francisco, por supuesto). This awesomeness was in no way harmed (and, in many ways, was enhanced) by Katie's toddler army - Anne and Julia are now four and two, which means Anne is mostly more reasonable than she used to be and also doesn't need a nap, and Julia is super sweet and funny, so they are fun and entertaining. Also, they didn't get up until nine this morning, which was v. v. much appreciated.

So, we all had a lazy morning, which eventually led to James making us bacon and eggs and hashbrowns (breakfast of champions!). Then we went to City Park, which is next to the Museum of Nature and Science -- we hung out in the shade for a bit, and then we fed/chased some geese, and I caught some pokemon that I've never seen before, so that was all delightful.

James eventually absconded with Julia to try to make her nap (failure), while Katie and I took Anne into the museum to see some dinosaurs. She decided she'd rather see the space stuff instead, which mostly meant that she played with a bunch of sand that mimics water erosion for half an hour while Katie and I sat on a bench and talked. That was totally fine by me, but it made me miss the days when I used to plan to be an astronaut...I always really loved natural sciences, and in a different life I might have gone the astronaut or geologist route. C'est la vie, I guess.

Suddenly we were all v. hungry, so we had a girls' outing to Avanti, which Katie and I went to last time I was here - they have a bunch of food stalls and bars, so we grabbed some arepas and enjoyed a leisurely late lunch. Arepas are highly recommended, especially for gluten-free people (meat and plantains and avocado and cheese stuffed into a pocket made of cornmeal) - but they failed the no-grains part of my #whole30ish plan, and so I should probably remember how I felt an hour later, when I came home and promptly fell asleep on the couch (Katie was reading to the girls in an effort to get them to nap, and that trick only worked on me).

But I rallied, and we hung out and fed the girls dinner, and then James v. kindly volunteered to put the toddler army to bed while Katie and I went out and made some memories. So she and I went to Root Down, which is so fucking delicious - we sat on the patio with a view of the Denver skyline, and Katie had soup and I had beet salad, and we shared some burrata with heirloom tomatoes and some tuna crudo, and we had cocktails (hello, gin, my old friend - and I'm glad to see you brought some jalapeños with you for the party), and it was all perfect. Katie thought it was a bit chilly on the patio, but I was so thrilled to have a summer evening (even if summer is dying) where I could sit outside past ten p.m. that I didn't feel any chill. Again, I would move to Denver immediately if moving weren't such a pain in the ass.

But after we had finished being ladies about town, and after she had told me that she's a parallel parking goddess, it was time to come home. So we got here and talked to James, and I gave them a monologue about creativity, and we talked about mind-altering experiences, and then we realized we were about to have a mind-altering experience from sheer fatigue if we didn't go to bed immediately. So it's time for me to turn in so I can have more delightful times tomorrow - Katie is good for my soul, and I intend to suck every last bit of friendship out of her this weekend. Goodnight!

this was all you, none of it me

I'm back in San Francisco and I need to go to bed, but I had quite a successful retreat. I slept a little later this morning, but I considered the story while I was in the shower, and I'm feeling good about where it might (maybe, possibly) be headed. When I went downstairs, I spent a couple of hours chatting with Barbara and Lisa + taking care of a bunch of other random to-dos and emails that I'd neglected over the weekend. Then, Lisa and I went across the street to Starbucks to get coffee, since the french vanilla flavored Keurig coffee wasn't doing it for me at all - I probably should have sucked it up and driven to the real Starbucks, since the coffee at Safeway was lukewarm and tasted like burning, but the caffeine content was what mattered, so at least that was a success.

When I got back to the house, I did a bit more work, and then I made myself an omelette (with cheddar, leftover salmon from last night, and pesto on top with some roasted potatoes on the side - last night's leftovers turned into an awesome breakfast). Barbara sat with me on the deck while I ate, and it was so idyllic - the beach and lake were mostly empty since most people were back at work, and the view and the weather and the sun were all perfect.

After I ate, I wrote for another hour or so and got several more pages of Lucy's story, so that's great. But at four p.m. I had to throw in the towel so that I could pack all my stuff (it's remarkable how much my stuff got strewn about the house in less than seventy-two hours) and load up my car. Lisa and I said our goodbyes to Barbara and were on the road by five, and we made excellent time - there was no traffic, and I got out of the mountains before the sun started shining directly into my eyes, so we made it to Walnut Creek (where I dropped her off) by 7:45, which is a new record. After I dropped her off, I found a Chipotle and grabbed dinner since I was starving and knew I wouldn't be able to make it home (and that there would be no food in the fridge when I got here). Then I drove the rest of the way home, making it here by 8:45, which would have been good time from Tahoe even if I hadn't stopped to drop Lisa off and have dinner.

When I got here, I failed to unpack - I just messed around online and got ready for bed instead. And now I need to sleep - I want to work in the morning, and I have a writing date in the afternoon and dinner plans in the evening, so it's back to my usual grind. Goodnight!

one night samba

I'm strangely exhausted...I don't know if it's because I'm still recovering from staying up until three a.m. the other night reading, or if it's because I haven't had any added sugar in the last four days and my body is probably reaching peak withdrawal. Either way, I hope my body gets its shit together soon, because I've got stuff to do and I don't have time to indulge my inner octogenarian right now (or maybe I should say my inner toddler...the octogenarians I've known probably get less sleep than I do).

But despite that exhaustion, today was a good day. I woke up at nine and scrambled to get ready, then left the house and walked down to Yerba Buena, where I went to my beloved Samovar. I was there to meet up with Lisa, who used to report to me at my old job (she left before I did and went to business school, and recently graduated and started working). We only had an hour, but it was great to catch up, and I forced her to watch me eat bacon and poached eggs since I hadn't had time to make breakfast before going there. An hour definitely wasn't enough time to catch up on everything, but at least it was better than nothing, right?

After we parted ways, I ran a couple of errands around there - I went to Target and got a cheapish white bedskirt since I'm planning to switch up my bedding (using stuff I already have + the lovely pillows I got as freebies from Ritu's wedding), and I went to Container Store to return something, and I stopped by CB2 and Crate and Barrel to browse and indulge in some homemaker daydreaming. Crate and Barrel made me super sad because I discovered that they discontinued the blush color of my dinnerware - I have a hodgepodge of light grey, dark grey, blue, blush, and white (all in the same pattern - they're intended to be mix and match) and I had intended to get some more blush, but that dream is now dead. It doesn't appear that they're going to discontinue the rest of it since they introduced a new color, but I'm still sad.

But I suppose that's a #firstworldproblem, so I'll move on. I took the bus back to my neighborhood and went straight to Peets, where I drank iced coffee and wrote for awhile. Then I came home and took a nap. And then I worked on a secret project, the results of which may be shared someday, but not today. But I had to stop doing stuff for myself then and walk over to Fillmore for dinner - I met up with Carolyn, who you likely won't remember.

Carolyn and I taught a summer class to high school students at Berkeley several years ago, but she was only out here for the summer, and then she went back to NYC. But she has moved here full time, and so we finally got together - it was supposed to happen in San Mateo today, but I bailed on writing down there and then also bailed on driving down for dinner. But while she's working down there, she's currently living up here, so dinner in the city ended up working out. We went to Gardenias (which I'd been to with Lauren once before), and it was a lovely place to catch up - we spent a couple of hours talking over wine and tasty food, and it was all delightful.

Then I walked home, and now I think I'm going to go to bed rather than trying to force myself to get anything else done. Goodnight!

make it all all right for us

Today started with a productivity bang and ended with a whimper. I worked pretty steadily from nine to noon (mostly website stuff) when I realized that I needed to get ready to leave immediately or I was going to be late for my writing date in San Mateo. As it was, I was fifteen minutes late, and I made the heinous move of taking tuna salad to eat in front of them (although it looked super cute since I packed it in a bento box, and they claimed they couldn't smell it). The downside of this whole30ish thing I'm pursuing is that it's harder to eat something impromptu - but I successfully turned down our traditional rice krispie treat (even though we split it into thirds, so it's not like anyone gets too much), so sugar and grains will have to wait for another day to defeat me.

sssanyway. The writing date was with Anne and Barbara - I hadn't seen Anne in weeks (since before I went to Iowa, I think), since I was gone and she was gone and she didn't go to the conference in San Diego, and so our travels kept us apart for way too long. Barbara hadn't seen her in ages either, so we planned to meet at 1:30 instead of 2 so that we could catch up before we worked - and instead, that just meant we talked for 3+ hours instead of 2.5 hours. In other words, I did no writing at all.

But catching up is important, and we had a lot to discuss. And we did do a little work - we talked about ads and release schedules and goals, and I got some feedback on my tentative website design, so that was all worthwhile. I won't see Anne again until next week, but I'm making a last-minute trip to Tahoe with Barbara and another writer this weekend to do some serious writing, so hopefully I'll come up with a plot at some point.

But that's a struggle for tomorrow. When I left Starbucks, I went across the street to Safeway to get a couple of things that I can't get at Whole Foods, and then I suffered through a dramatically bad commute home (actually, it was normal for current traffic levels, but apocalyptic compared to what I wanted). When I got here I had grand plans to make tomato sauce and meatballs and zucchini noodles, but I was so hungry and so tired that I ate some salami, and then I made scrambled eggs, and then I called it a night.

I was going to do more work tonight, but instead I watched two episodes of Project Runway while answering a few emails in a most desultory fashion. And now I need to sleep and try to get back into the semblance of a regular schedule (but not too regular, since I'm driving to Tahoe late Friday night - but I'll have someone with me, so staying awake shouldn't be an issue as long as I get some sleep the next couple of nights). Goodnight!

kiss me twice

After last night's reading bender, you might have guessed that this morning did not quite go according to plan. I woke up at eight (after five hours of sleep), sulkily grabbed my eye mask, and blocked out the light so I could get another couple of hours of sleep. That meant I got up at ten, which wasn't terrible from an amount-of-sleep standpoint, but quality of sleep suffered somewhat. And, needless to say, quantity of work suffered as well.

But I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower and made myself presentable. Then I made mayonnaise, because I am clearly on a one-way trip to crazytown in the kitchen. The mayonnaise turned out perfectly from a consistency standpoint, but I need to find a lighter-flavored olive oil...but at least I know that I can make mayonnaise now, despite the repeated failures with the rouille recipe. I then used that mayonnaise to make fancy tuna salad (fancy tuna salad is exactly like my usual tuna salad, except I added some lemon juice, onion, celery, parsley, and chives since I had all that stuff on hand), which I ate like I was starving, because I was.

After that, it was time for a nap.

But I managed to sleep for less than thirty minutes this time, and then I packed up my stuff and walked down to Books Inc, where I found the second book in the series that I started last night (and I accidentally saw one line in the middle of the book that made me want to read it all immediately, but I am being good and refraining). Then I went to Philz, where I did a couple of hours of work. I'm still plotting, and still messing around with character development, and I think it might come together eventually.

Once I was done with my coffee and done with the people watching, I went to the library - I never go to the library, but I maybe should start, since it's only a couple of blocks from Philz and I'm there pretty regularly. This excursion was to get 'Lunar Men', which might be good research for some stuff related to the hero - it's about inventions and the start of the Industrial Revolution, so while it predates the time period I write in by some fifty years, that's good background for me to have. I also picked up a fantasy book while I was there, because why not.

Then I walked home, and I was starving again when I got here, so I had some salami and some leftover cheese from my Shedletsky party. Then, I cooked some stuff for tomorrow - I'm trying a sweet potato hash, and I cooked some components tonight for tomorrow's breakfast. It turned out so well that I almost ate it all tonight, but instead I had leftover thai beef, turned on the tv, and watched three episodes of an old season of 'Project Runway' while working for the past four hours. This was all admin stuff - I drafted a newsletter to send out tomorrow, and I messed around with website stuff, which I've been wasting a lot of time on for no real output yet. At some point soon I may have to decide to just hire somebody, but I'm stubbornly convinced that I can do what I need to do by myself if I just focus for a bit, so we'll see.

But now, I need to sleep (and not read) - goodnight!

likely story

At 8:30pm, I realized that I was tapped out on writing for the day (I was in hermit mode and attempting to focus on coming up with a plot today, which was both successful and not-so-successful, but I'll get to that in a moment). And I was all proud of myself when I crawled into bed with a book and the intention of reading for an hour before bed rather than mindlessly scrolling through social media....

...but now it's almost three a.m., and I'm bleary-eyed and dehydrated, but I read the book straight through from cover to cover. I haven't done that in awhile, and while I'll pay for it in the morning, it was worth it. The book was 'The Fifth Season' by NK Jemisin, and I'd bought it in paperback (in an actual bookstore!) the week it came out last year - I've loved everything else I'd read by her, and this promised to be no different. However, between one thing and another (my general malaise and despair last fall, and my mad scramble to write a book this spring/summer), I never got around to reading it. But she won the Hugo for it this weekend, which is scifi/fantasy's top honor, and so I was reminded that I had intended to read it.

And if you like fantasy, you need to read this right now. You should also read her other stuff ('The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms' was amazing, but this was even better). The narrative structure was complex and interesting and sneaky and heartbreaking, and the worldbuilding was fascinating, and it made me cry repeatedly and dream of writing epics instead of trying to pack a whole world into the confines of an English country houseparty.

So yeah, if you like fantasy, read it.

The rest of my day was mild and uninteresting by comparison. I got up this morning determined to write, so I shut off my internet and put away my phone (after making a v. delicious whole30ish approved omelette with avocado), and I daydreamed about the story. I also played in my planner notebook, which is always a good way to procrastinate while feeling productive. Then I called my parents, and inadvertently ended up talking to them for almost four hours - I wasn't able to talk much yesterday because of my hostess duties, and apparently without the natural boundary of either supper or bedtime (as happens on Sunday late afternoon/evenings), we just continue to talk. Then, since I'd already spent four hours on the phone, I called Aunt Becky and checked in with her as well (and gave my regrets since I can't make the party she's hosting in mid-September - I think I'll go home at the end of September instead).

Then I alternated between writing and failing to write for most of the evening, with a break to eat some leftover chicken bouillabaisse (yum). And then I read the book, which turned into many hours of enjoyment which will wreck me in the morning (especially since I fully intend to walk down to Books Inc in the morning and attempt to procure the sequel, which apparently came out last week). I can't binge read it until I get some more plot developments for my own story, but it's going to happen sometime soon (although binge reading it is probably a mistake - this one ended on a cliffhanger, and the next one is the second book in the trilogy - a trilogy she may be behind on finishing, since she skipped the Hugo ceremony for her deadline and someone else had to accept her award for her. So bingeing now and then waiting forever for the next one might be a bad idea, but we'll see.) Goodnight!

it's all your fault i screen my phone calls

I had a great day, despite some initial sloth, and now that I'm staring down the beginning of Lucy's book in earnest, it's probably time to quietly keep reminding myself that a) I've written six books, so I can surely write a seventh; b) the beginning always feels like shoving through molasses; c) it's possible to accomplish a lot in one or two solid hours and I shouldn't hate myself for how I spent the rest of them (although it would induce more happiness if I spent the rest of them reading or wandering through the city instead of aimlessly scrolling through twitter).

But despite the early sloth, I managed to recover. I spent the morning cleaning up stuff around the house, and then I engaged in some sloth, and then I took a bath to reset (bathing/showering often helps me reframe and get into the story again, provided I'm not angry about something, in which case showering is an opportunity to plot murder). Then I ran to Whole Foods to pick up a couple of things for this afternoon - my timing was far less ideal than it was on Friday, so the lines were ridiculous, but I was in and out about as efficiently as I could have been today.

After the grocery store, I met up with Tom for a writing date at Quetzal. I don't actually like Quetzal, but they have plenty of space and are v. conveniently located between us (and my jasmine tea, since I was avoiding sugar and non-heavy-cream milk products and so couldn't get a coffee, was serviceable enough). Tom and I caught up for a little bit, and then I wrote for awhile and actually got three pages, which was better than I expected - hopefully that will give me some momentum for tomorrow.

But I had to end early - the Shedletskys were coming over for dinner/Olympics watching, and so I needed to come home and prep. I made chicken bouillabaisse, which is one of my go-tos for meat-eaters when I want to make something that looks/tastes impressive but is actually easy (and whose leftovers I will happily eat for a couple of days). There's something wrong with the rouille recipe to go with it - rouille is a mayonnaise, and while it came together flawlessly the first time I ever made it, I've never been able to get it to come together since then (although even the runny, oily mess is tasty, since it's full of oil and egg and garlic and lemon and salt and saffron). But the chicken and potatoes are out of this world delicious - and if it weren't for the cup of wine and 3tbsp of Pernod in the base, it would be pretty close to the paleo-type whole30ish thing I'm doing. So, at least for this time, I'm calling it a win.

Of course, drinking my share of two bottles of wine is not whole30-approved - but Shedletsky brought a v. nice pinot noir, and then I made the mistake of opening a bottle that I'd bought when we had our epic wine tasting afternoon in Sonoma last year, so of course we had to finish that as well. Ostensibly we were going to watch the closing ceremonies, but those seemed boring, so we instead flipped through some esoteric sports whose rules we didn't know (air rifle, handgun, skeet, synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, etc.), and that was super fun.

But they eventually left, and I ran the dishwasher and did some writing admin stuff and drank some water (and, admittedly, ate some ice cream - I never crave ice cream, but I've had it twice in three days since starting to kind of move toward this whole30ish thing, which is a little weird...but I'm going to blame it on all the leftovers in my freezer from my Olympics party, which I should probably toss). And now it's time for bed - I'm pretty recovered from the wedding and excited to move forward on Lucy's story, so it's time to get some sleep and hit it in earnest tomorrow. Goodnight!

heart of darkness

Deep in the heart of the east bay -- so far beyond the bay that one might be forgiven, when one is there, for forgetting that the bay exists* -- lies a place called Castro Valley. Castro Valley is, indeed, a valley, with housing developments stretching up the walls of the valley to give the houses views of the land below. They also enjoy a view of sunshine, which makes it preferable to San Francisco, where it's been all fog and gloom for days.

When I woke up this morning, I intended to stay in San Francisco and work - I'm feeling antsy about the book and it's past time to get cracking. But then Jess sent me an adorable photo of Ian wearing the raccoon vest that I got him, and so I decided to throw aside my productivity plans and go east to inspect a few members of the child army.

But first, I had to feed myself - so I made these sweet potato and zucchini latkes, and fried a couple of eggs to put on top, and it was fucking #winning. I might leave out the cumin next time, since I wasn't in the mood for cumin at ten a.m., but they could be great with a little bit of cayenne, perhaps. I will say that if I keep up with this Whole30ish plan, I'm going to be using my food processor a lot more than I usually do - I used it last night for cauliflower rice, and this morning to shred zucchini and sweet potatoes (something that I might do in bulk and freeze if I intend to make a lot of latkes), and I intend to make mayo and rouille tomorrow. But I'm kind of excited to cook again, so I'm going to embrace it while this feeling lasts.

After I ate, I showered, sent some emails, and then went to Books Inc to buy a birthday present for a member of the child army (my favorite Dr Seuss book, "If I Ran the Circus", and a book about the Summer Olympics). Then I made myself a snack and got in the car and ventured east, and then even farther east, until I reached Castro Valley.

Castro Valley is the home of a lot of identical houses, one of which is owned by Oniel (aka Fauxneil, aka Bill Crosby, although I suppose that nickname should now be retired since Oniel has never, to my knowledge, given anyone quaaludes) and Katie (who doesn't get a nickname because she didn't come to my 2008 Olympics party because she was boycotting China's human rights violations, which is admirable, but I mean, come on, there's cake!). Oniel's oldest kid, Cole, turned five, and so I went to say hi and wish him happy birthday even though he has no idea who I am. But he and his sister are super cute (and very very tall for their ages), and I got to see Folkman and Kristen and some other people whom I hadn't seen in ages (because they have all produced members of the child army). And hopefully now that Oniel and I have seen each other twice in a month, we'll get into a more steady rhythm than once every five years.

But all good things must end (or, rather, all east bay communities can eventually be escaped from), so I said my farewells and drove to Berkeley, which is a different part of the east bay, to say hi to John and Jess and Ian. Ian was being his usual adorable self, although he refused to nap today (not my problem!). And John and Jess seemed to be doing well - we hung out in the house, and then we ended up going to Cancun for tasty Mexican food (this was not at all Whole30ish approved - I avoided the legumes and rice, but I had the crispy corn tortilla and chips, which was probably a mistake). That turned into a super stressful outing because John and I were both having extreme social anxiety about the people around us who were trying to claim twenty seats before they'd ordered any food (which is such a ridiculous thing to say, but it was stressful to watch).

sssanyway. After dinner we went back to their house, and John and I had a drink (beer for him, water for me) and discussed going to Missouri in 2017 for the total solar eclipse (it's on!). Then I drove home, put on my jammies, and watched Olympics (and got super angry about Ryan Lochte, who is such a douchebag).

And now I need to sleep - I need to be productive in the morning because the Shedletskys are coming over in the late afternoon for our last chance to watch Olympics together this year. Goodnight!


*disclaimer: it is less than five miles as the crow flies from the bay. But with traffic, that's approximately eighteen hours**

**disclaimer 2: it took me less than an hour, with traffic, to get out of SF, cross the Bay Bridge, and reach Castro Valley. But still, it was a journey.

i've touched this place before somewhere in another time

I spent almost all of today homemaking, which means I'm wiped out but may be able to feed and clothe myself for awhile. I had intended to get up and write this morning, but I didn't set my alarm and I ended up sleeping until 9:30, which I guess is what I needed (and I kind of hope I repeat that feat tomorrow). That long sleep set me up for a morning of slothfulness, which is probably also what I needed.

But then I got down to business - I did laundry, made my shopping list, and started tearing apart my kitchen to figure out what I need, what I need to throw out, and how to better organize things so that I can cook more aggressively in a small space. When my laundry was done, I drove to Whole Foods and managed to hit at exactly the right time for ample parking (where 'ample' equals 'more than two spaces available in the garage') and short lines. This was a good thing, since the shopping itself took forever - as mentioned last night, I'm moving toward cooking/eating no added sugar, along with a variety of other things to cut (I'm dubbing it 'Whole30ish', since I'm cutting the grains/legumes/sugars like Whole30 but allowing myself cream and butter because ain't nobody got time to make ghee all the time, and also allowing slightly less militancy when going out for dinner with friends). So I spent an exorbitant amount of time and money tracking things down for the recipes on my list - now that I have things like coconut oil (and coconut aminos, which seems like some sort of sorcerer's trick) and more spices, hopefully shopping won't take as much time/money in future trips. Of course, discovering that Whole Foods sells pre-julienned zucchini for zucchini noodles means there will probably be times when I prioritize quality of life over saving money, but we'll see.

sssanyway. When I finally got home, I proceeded to thoroughly clean the rest of my kitchen and take out the compost and recycling. Then I made a thai beef stirfry with cauliflower rice - it was slow going, mostly because I'd never made either recipe before and had to keep adjusting. But the end result was really, really good (and I could see it being even better if I turned the stirfry into a curry.

Of course, tonight wasn't a perfect exercise in restraint...I heard the Coke commercial one too many times and made myself a coke float (which I deeply, deeply enjoyed - I haven't had a coke float in forever, but I happened to have ice cream and coke leftover from my Olympics party, since they're not usually staples in my house). So after my tasty, healthy meal, I indulged in   sugar bomb, which promptly put me to sleep.

And now I need to take out my contacts and go to bed and dream of all the things I want to get done tomorrow - goodnight!