in the blinking of an eye, that moment's gone

I made a valiant attempt to write this morning - but after cutting some things and adding some other things, my grand total word count for the day was one (1). Still, it was better than nothing, and I'm eager to get back into it tomorrow - the first day after a break is always the hardest, and while I did write while I was in San Francisco, I didn't write last week after getting back, so today was a recovery day.

I also did some other computer-type stuff this morning, and then I ate lunch with [censored] - last night's pad thai was still gummy, but the chicken was great and the side of broccoli was excellent, so I powered through (and [censored] had leftover spaghetti sauce with fresh spaghetti, which was probably a better choice). Then I took a belated shower and ran to Centerville to pick up a bunch of stuff at Walmart - Walmart is not my store of choice, but it's the best option within 40min of my house, so sometimes it's what needs to happen. I stocked up on a bunch of canned goods, but the main draw was my favorite gluten free bread. I still need to do a Des Moines run at some point soon, but this will tide me over until I can get to someplace with produce.

Then, I came home, put tings away, and made burrito bowls for me and [censored]. Yes, this is the second time in five days, but they're easy and delicious, and I jazzed up this version with some Spanish chorizo, which definitely adds something. After eating, I took care of my garbage situation (it is easier to put garbage in my trunk and dump it at my dad's dumpster than it is to wheel my cart across my yard, so that's what I did). And then I watched the men's basketball final - it wasn't exactly exciting and I had literally zero opinions since I didn't watch a single game of the men's tournament this year, but it was something to do.

And now, I should sleep - goodnight!

broken windows and broken tiles, frozen willows will go for miles

I got up this morning and engaged in a bunch of cleaning in my kitchen / living room in case a friend of [censored]'s stopped by - spoiler, the friend did not stop by, but I got a clean kitchen and mostly clean living room out of it, so it was still worthwhile. My renovated kitchen continues to be delightful, and I'm happy with how it turned out - and it's even better when it's freshly scrubbed / dusted / swept.

After that, I spent some time this afternoon sorting through tings in my bedroom and office so that I can do the final bit of organizing to make both of them feel finished. Even after that's over, there's still a final final stage in which I hang art and other items, but for now, the focus is on no longer having a random hodgepodge of stuff on the floor (which is hard, since my bedroom is absurdly shaped and is both probably larger than any two of my previous bedrooms combined + also has no storage space). I made progress, so we'll see what tomorrow holds.

Eventually, [censored] took me on a tour of [censored], which remains an alarming delight. It's best explored on days like today, when it's too cold for wasps, and also when the sun is still out so that it's too light for bats. We grabbed some postcards that are tangentially related to the volunteer project I'm working on, said hi to all of my childhood modes of transportation (my tricycle, two bikes, and a scooter), and skedaddled before we ran into any trouble.

Then we went to the parents' house, where my mom made an excellent roast. We then played Ticket to Ride, which my mom was determined to win; unfortunately, she lost to [censored] by about ten points, but she roundly beat my dad and I, so at least there's that.

And now, I should go to sleep (which is what I should have done two hours ago) - goodnight!

muscle to muscle and toe to toe

I had intended to go to bed an hour ago, but I did some desultory shopping of tings online (without actually buying anything) and attempts to figure out where to stay in San Francisco next weekend (without actually booking anything). I had a really nice day in Tahoe, though - I got eight and a half hours of sleep to start, and then I made some coffee, took a shower, and made an omelette. I spent most of the afternoon hidden away in the media room reading a book and journaling, which was exactly what I wanted - while I've been doing writing retreats with some configuration of this group for seven years now, and while I usually try to write when I'm on a retreat, I'm treating this one as a combo vacation + refill the well. That means I'm more focused on reading and also spending serious quality time with friends (beyond the usual lunch or dinner excursion) for the first time in sixteen+ months.

Of course, it's a little silly that I came to Tahoe in late October - winter is coming to Denver but it's not there yet, while here we're getting slammed by an atmospheric river that's going to dump rain and snow for the next couple of days (and there's a winter storm warning in the mountains above us). I felt my inner rural Iowan kick into anxiety over the state of our grocery / food situation, since we didn't stock up enough to make me feel like we could survive a storm - so at some point this afternoon I ran across the street with Jules to get some more stuff, and carried back what I could carry (ingredients for chicken tortilla soup + another bottle of wine + some lotion = the necessities).

Late in the afternoon, Grace joined me in my media room hideout, so we both worked/read for awhile and then talked a bit. And then the group broke for dinner - Christie made soup, and we hung out and talked for a few hours. It's mostly the usual suspects (or at least the usual suspects from the last couple of Tahoe retreats) - Barbara, Christie, Anne, Grace, Tina, and Jules, which makes for a v. manageable group (i.e. one in which everyone gets their own bedroom and there are plenty of places for everyone to work and we can all fit around one table). Veronica is supposed to be here too, but due to some scheduling woes isn't here yet - but I'll take any time I can get with her.

sssanyway, I need to go to bed now - I have to do a bit of day job work tomorrow that I didn't get done before I left, and then I want to read something fun. Goodnight!

put your loving hand out, baby

I'm sleepy and need to go to bed immediately - happily/sadly, that bed is my bed in Denver, which I returned to today. My trip to Iowa was excellent, even though I worked the whole time. And yesterday, which I didn't blog about, was fun - [censored] and I ran up to Des Moines to liberate some possessions from Brian (aka the scandalous pirate uncle). We met up with Aunt Kathy there, who was similarly liberating possessions that are destined for Drewbaby in Fargo. We walked out with more stuff than I was expecting to, and [censored] may have to make another trip next week.

It isn't an exaggeration to say that our family has a slow-moving but relentless current of stuff moving between us, something like one of the ocean currents that fuels the world's climate. In this case, we're just endlessly moving stuff between us; for example, Aunt B took all of Gram's china, moved it to Colorado, eventually put it in my basement here, and I'm likely to take it back to Iowa this fall. But since we all like stuff, and since there are many basements and sheds and garages between us (more basements and sheds and garages than there are houses and people, actually), the current shows no signs of slowing down.

sssanyway. Today was lowkey - I hung out with my parents, watered some of their garden, ate some snacks, showered, packed, etc. [Censored] and I left around 2pm, and [censored] kicked me out at the airport, where security was worse than usual (I think it took four minutes instead of two). Then I had a salad and a glass of rosé while writing for an hour. My flight was uneventful, and my drive home was uneventful, and now I should sleep since I have to work tomorrow and can pretty much guarantee I won't be in the mood. Goodnight!

tuesday, wednesday break my heart

I'm feeling too tired to blog - I worked too late last night, went to bed too late, and got up too early to start the whole process over again. My meetings and other activities were fine - in one of my meetings, someone actually hired a goat ('goat to meeting') to dial in for ten minutes, which meant we all just got to watch a goat roaming around on camera. It was bizarre and stupid and wonderful, and I'm v. impressed with the goat farm's business model.

So I slogged all day, but it wasn't too onerous. When I was done, I ate a snack and then made a Whole Foods run - I may want a little more fresh produce for next week, but for now I'm pretty well stocked up for the staycation / writing retreat that I'm planning to indulge in. I have plenty of food, decorative items to put up for Christmas, grand plans to turn my guest room into a space for kettlebells/yoga, a new velvet sweatsuit, and a book to write...and I just have to make it to Friday afternoon unscathed, which I think I can do.

So I bought some groceries, came home, put everything away, and ate some more boeuf bourguignon. There were still three servings left, so I froze two of them, which means I can make something else tomorrow. Then I messed around and did basically nothing until now, with the exception of some journaling / stuff for the class I'm taking with Alyssa.

And now I need to sleep and hope it restores me - goodnight!

i liked you better in college

I'm tired and should have gone to bed two hours ago, but instead I've been trying to decompress by lounging under a faux fur blanket and occasionally sipping a glass of wine that I poured ages ago. Today was hectic - it started by dropping my car off at the dealer for routine maintenance, which meant driving halfway to Boulder on a road that I barely ever take anymore. Everything felt vaguely apocalyptic this morning - someone at the dealer looked outside and said it was snowing, and then someone else asked if it was actually ash (I think it was ash). It was cold enough to be snow, but we also somehow suddenly have the second largest fire in state history rushing through Rocky Mountain National Park to connect with another fire that's been burning for a couple of months, so shit feels particularly real right now.

Then I came home and slogged all day, and some of my meetings were really fun but some were super annoying. Then I rushed back to pick up my car. At that point I would have happily drank wine and sat on my couch and stared at nothing, but I forced myself to eat something and then go to Whole Foods - my food hoarding is kicking back in as I watch coronavirus cases tick up, and it doesn't help that the US response is so much worse than the rest of the developed world. So I stocked up on a bunch of stuff and am happy that I won't have to brave the crowds tomorrow since I'm sure they'll be packed in advance of the snow we're going to get on Sunday.

And now I've done enough dozing off downstairs - I should really go to bed. Goodnight!

time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Today was okayish. Work was ridiculous this week, and while it's all fine, it was also a lot of dealing with other people's emotions, which always wears me out. So, I ducked out around two to run some errands - I had glasses sitting in Boulder that I should have picked up three weeks ago, and I needed to make a return to Nordstrom Rack (of which there is one in Boulder). It was a bit bizarre to go up there because I realized I might not have a reason to go back at all this year - it's unlikely that I'll go to the office, and there almost certainly won't be a holiday party, and I don't have any other reasons to go. Strange times, friends.

Then I made a Costco run, which I refuse to do on the weekends. I was mostly there to stock up on canned goods and other sundry supplies, but I also found a space heater / cooler / air filter that I'd had my eye on and it was deeply discounted (enough to get it under the remaining budget that I had from my company giving us money for our workspaces). So, that was exciting - I want to actually work out in my basement, but it's slightly too chilly, especially in the winter. And the smoke has been bad off and on here, so an air filter is not amiss (if I choose to have it in my bedroom or office instead).

And then, depressed that the most exciting thing about my day was finding a space heater, I came home, unloaded my bounty (actually, I meant that metaphorically; literally, I left the 18-pack of Bounty paper towels in the car), and took a nap. Then I ate leftovers, but they were so delicious that they still felt decadent - that chicken stuffed with cheese and wrapped in prosciutto is really fucking good, and I reheated some broccoli and made a fresh baked potato, and it was a delight.

Then I finished reading UNTAMED (also a delight), texted with some people, etc. And now I think I will go to bed, unless I start another book - goodnight!

don't fall on your sword, just follow your instinct

I'm so tired. It's my own fault - I should have gone to bed at ten, but instead I worked for the last couple of hours. That was after having meetings straight from 9-4...but I took a walk for 25min, which was a great break. It was 67 degrees and sunny this afternoon, but we're sliding into a winter storm warning tonight, so I decided to prioritize sun and social distancing while I could.

I took a break a little before five to make a margarita and have a virtual happy hour with Tomas. It was a nice way to end the day - we didn't really talk about work, just the end of the world. Then, I broke quarantine and went to Katie's - I'm pretty convinced that Denver will be ordered to shelter in place in the next couple of days, so I thought I should see her while I had the chance (which probably defeats the point of social isolation, but I've been pretty isolated the last twelve days or so). She and James made dinner and spared some of their precious food supply with me, which was a real sacrifice (and, btw, dinner was delicious - a chickpea dish that I wish I could recreate, but I have not been able to find chickpeas anywhere). We also talked about the end of the world, which is a v. natural topic of conversation right now, and I tried not to touch anything but probably failed.

Then I came home, with a couple of stops to indulge my inner panic. I didn't stock up crazy - I was looking for chickpeas and dishwasher soap, and the first two places didn't have any of either, so I was forced to get dishwasher soap at CVS. But I bought some garlic, which I was almost out of, and a couple of other tings, and then I got some nail polish at CVS, so I think I'm pretty set.

When I got home, I tidied up, prepped my coffee for tomorrow, and did some work. And now I must sleep - goodnight!

kill the headlights and put it in neutral

It's day five of working from home (officially day three, but I worked from home Monday and Tuesday, before the office closure was announced). I may be going slowly insane. I haven't seen a person I know since Katie and I had dinner at El Five on Monday, which was a lifetime and many germs ago. My fridge is now utterly full of food, and I could easily survive for a month (maybe two, although I'll run out of cream for my coffee at some point), but I still feel some vague unease that I haven't prepped enough.

sssanyway. I worked all day, mostly meetings. I also took a break to watch some of Trump's speech, which was a) in retrospect sad/hilarious because apparently he completely exaggerated/lied about the website my company was supposedly working on and b) probably a good way to watch a bunch of older men pass coronavirus to each other, since Trump seemed to purposefully insist on shaking almost everyone's hand (the later CEOs seemed to realize what was happening and dodge contact). Then I sloughed off early to run to the mall and pick up a new coffeemaker. When I picked it up, I gave my name, and the woman asked if my mom's name was Jean....to which I replied "yes!", but it turns out her old coworker was a different Jean, with a different daughter named Sara, both of whom have my last name. Super weird, so clearly there is a glitch in the matrix at the moment.

I also bought some more comfy pants at Athleta, since I'm stranded here forever, and I was already out and risking coronavirus anyway. Then I went to Whole Foods and got a couple more tings, mostly produce, but also some hamburger. They were completely and utterly sold out of eggs, so I felt vindicated that I went out and panic bought eggs on Wednesday. They were also completely cleared out of all frozen fruits and vegetables, all pastas and beans and lentils (except some of the weirdest beans), all limes (not necessary, but I would have grabbed a few if they were there), all peppers except jalapenos (but they had tomatillos, so I'm making chile verde this week), and all garlic. That said, my previous prepping was clearly spot-on, since the things they were out of were things I'd already stocked up on.

Then I came home, put away my stash, ate some leftover pasta, and watched the India episode of 'Ugly Delicious' with Padma Lakshmi and Aziz Ansari. I follow Padma on Instagram bc I love her on Top Chef (and my friend Roopa performs carnatic music for her on the regular), and I'd seen that she was on the show, so I thought it might be a good way to spend a Friday night of social isolation. All it did was make me miss India. But then, I would miss any kind of travel to anywhere, with anyone, at this point, so maybe that's not fair. But it was an excellent episode, and I loved it. Then I went back and started with the first episode of the first season and it was super boring by comparison; it seems to be a show that has found its legs later on.

Now, though, I should sleep - not that I have any plans tomorrow, but I will find a variety of tings around the house to entertain me. Goodnight!

you call her jabberjaws

Merry Christmas again! Today was Wampler Family Christmas (tm), which meant that my dad's brother and sister and their families arrived at some ungodly hour to spend the day together. The hour was less ungodly than usual because every family member stayed up way too late last night watching the Iowa State / Washington State game, but they still got here between ten and eleven, which is impressive since it was a 1.5-2hr drive for everyone other than us.

We spent the day in our usual haze of eating all the random food that showed up, telling stories about all the random people we've known, and listening to Gram's same two or three questions interjected at random (but v. frequent) intervals. Gram's dementia is truly shocking; she walked into our house and asked whose it was, and kept asking that all afternoon, even though we've lived here for eleven years (and on this property for almost forty) and she's been in this house over a hundred times. Another bit of her long-term anchor has slipped; she no longer knows where things are located between the towns in our county, which used to be an immutable map in her head since she was born here and has spent eighty-eight years in and around these parts (with some time living in other towns, although she always came back to visit her parents / my granddad's parents before moving back in the sixties).

sssanyway. We had some awesome smoked turkey and ham for lunch to go with all the variety of fixings that showed up, and then we did the family white elephant, which was as ridiculous as usual. I ended up with two 20+ year old bottles of alcohol that will probably poison me, and a bongo that I can play as I'm going blind from the alcohol. Drewbaby (my cousin) chose the gift that he was destined to have - [censored] put in a book for how to cope with being the child of hoarders, which Drewbaby is (but we're all children of hoarders and destined to become hoarders ourselves, so c'est la vie). And we generally all had a v. entertaining time.

The rest of the day was spent with more eating, more merriment, and some quality time drinking Aunt Kathy's gift (she chose a bottle of margarita mix, and I was happy to supply the tequila, although I eventually switched to Bailey's on the rocks, followed by some of Aunt B's malbec). Gram went back to her assisted living facility, and the rest of us hung out until the wee hours. For Uncle Mark and Aunt Kathy, that was only eight p.m. since they drove home tonight; Aunt B and Uncle Brian stayed until ten since they have a hotel room in town; and Drewbaby is sleeping on our couch, so he stayed up with me and [censored] and our parents, talking about a lot of adult topics until it was finally time for all of us to sleep.

So I guess I should go to bed - goodnight!

but the restlessness was handed down

The last couple of days in ye olde Iowa have been fairly uneventful, all in all - I am definitely in the mood for uneventful at the moment, so it's living up to my desires. Yesterday, I unpacked from my trip across the Great American West, spent quite a bit of time hanging out in the kitchen, and also ran into town to buy some [censored] for [censored] (and some Mountain Dew for me). And I tried to help [censored] with [censored], but he doesn't trust my sorting skills - I know nothing about anything in [censored], so while sorting through a box of the contents of my granddad's junk drawer from 20+ years ago, I tried to throw away what I thought was a fake candle and what [censored] insisted was a usable part of an old rain gauge. So, I have been banished to the safety of the house, which is fine with me since nothing in the house is covered in [censored], and the house also has heat.

sssanyway. We had supper in Seymour last night, where the prime rib was fine and the deer heads on the walls were wearing their Santa hats. Today, I got up relatively early (for vacation), had breakfast with the parents, and then did a bunch of bits of nothing. However, I wrapped half of my Christmas presents (the half that is due tomorrow), so at least that was something. We had supper in town at the Mexican restaurant that opened there a few months ago - it was super tasty, and it's also the only thing in town open on Sunday night, so that was a win all around. We also ran into my old social studies teacher, which is always entertaining.

Then we came home and tried the new Ticket to Ride: Europe game that I'd bought - it's really quite different from the America game from a strategy perspective, so it will take some getting used to. But my dad won one game and I won the other, thus ending [censored]'s dominance, so I'll take those results.

And now I really need to sleep - goodnight! 

now is your time and you know where you stand

I really need to go to bed, but today was mostly great from a health standpoint even if it wasn't great from a productivity standpoint. Actually, scratch that; I spent almost three and a half hours commuting, so that totally sucked. But while I was at the office, I spent a couple of quality hours cleaning off my desk - I realized that I hate working in that space and I needed to do something about it, so I attempted to fix it by cleaning everything and getting rid of stuff. Yes, I'm still in purge mode. I feel pretty good about the new layout, so that's good, even if my team probably now thinks I'm secretly planning to quit.

After that, I had lunch with Chandlord and Heather (aka dear respected madam), which was awesome. Then I had some meetings, which was less awesome. Then I drove home, which was terrible. But when I got here, I adjourned to someplace down the street (ten points if you can guess where I went), where I had yet another steak and did some seriously good brainstorming for Thorington's book. It's shaping up better than it was a week ago, so hopefully I can start writing someday soon. But I got slightly tipsier than I had planned since the waiter poured me an extra glass of wine for the road (free of charge, and also I was walking, so it wasn't really an endangering move), which means I was slightly less productive than I had planned when I got home. But I made some more progress organizing my room, and I'm hoping that I can be totally done this weekend, barring disasters or laziness.

And now I really must go to bed if I want to get eight hours tonight - goodnight!

save me, i'm lost

Today was lovely, if you like being a hermit. I slept until 9:30, which was desperately needed. Then I read about feng shui in bed for an hour and got myself fired up about cleaning out all of the crap I've accumulated over the last fourteen years of living in California. But before I could do that, I needed sustenance, so I took a shower and made bacon and eggs and v. strong coffee. And then I spent the rest of the day sorting, organizing, cleaning, etc. I've still got a ways to go, but things are already looking better, and I'm excited to get through the rest of my closet and reorganize my bookshelves even more.

Of course, I had to take a break to talk to my parents, which was v. welcome. And at some point I had to throw in the towel so that I could eat something...which meant a well-deserved trip to Des Amis. I was going to go and brainstorm Thorington, but Terry was hungry as well, so she went too and we brainstormed him verbally instead of in my hermity notebook. Also, in continued proof that I go there too often, one of the sommelier/manager guys said that the next time I go to my family reunion in Texas, I should coordinate with him since his parents live near there and we can do wine tasting and whisky tasting and gun shooting. Sounds like a fine plan!

But now, alas, I must sleep; I just realized that I'm going to get less than eight hours no matter how I slice it, and that's tragic. Goodnight!

every second of the night i live another life

I had a v. wonderful day, but I'm now v. sleepy and would have gone to bed two hours ago if it had been ten p.m. instead of eight p.m. then. Instead, I forced myself to stay up, which was probably stupid since I wasn't productive at all and should have at least read a book instead of messing around on the internet while ignoring everything else I should be doing.

But the day was totally worth the exhaustion. I slept for almost ten hours last night, which means I kept my parents waiting even though I was ready to go at the totally civilized hour of 9:15. We had breakfast, then went to our first disappointment of the day: Sea Glass Beach, where there was absolutely no sea glass in evidence. It was also foggy and only fifty-five degrees, which my parents found a bit barbaric. But then the day began to look up. We went inland a few miles, where it was sunny and seventy-five, and walked around in a v. deserted redwood grove -- the sound of the trees was amazing, and something I'm v. unaccustomed to in the lives I live (part city, part open countryside).

Then we came back to the coast, descended into the fog, and walked out to Point Cabrillo lighthouse. It's one of the last six lighthouses remaining in California, and while the lighthouse itself was small, the walk out to it (on the nature-type pathway rather than the sidewalk/road we could have used if we'd known about it) was totally gorgeous. They've also restored the lighthouse keepers' houses -- you can rent a couple of them as vacation rentals, but one is a little museum with period furnishings, and I really enjoyed that (including a lighthouse keeper's version of a child's rocking horse: instead of a rocking horse, they had a rocking dolphin, which I will post a picture of once I upload my photos).

Post lighthouse, we went to a beach north of town, where we had been promised the opportunity to see lots of interesting sea creatures in the tidal pools left behind at low tide, but I think I saw one tiny crab and a bunch of sea lettuce. It's clear that some of the locals are overstating the glamour of their beaches. But with the fog and mist and pounding surf, it was still a gorgeous sight to behold. Then we went to a glass blower's shop, where I procured my souvenir for the trip; rather than getting a Starbucks mug, I returned to my preferred type of souvenir and bought something glass instead. In this case, it was a gorgeous paperweight with a purple jellyfish inside. Yes, collecting glass is a stupid endeavor for someone who lives in a major earthquake zone -- but perhaps I believe I will move away before the big one hits. Or perhaps I will be okay with everything I own being destroyed so that I can start over. The second idea is rather doubtful, but in any event, the paperweight is totally cool and will look great on my desk.

After that, we were hungry (since we were living like peasants on two meals a day), so we had a relatively early dinner at a place overlooking the harbor. The food was excellent, and my fish tacos were exactly what I was looking for. The glass of wine was also what I was looking for, and I think all three of us were delighted that this place lived up to the recommendation from our hotel dude (the same guy who suggested Sea Glass Beach and the tidal pools, so we had come to fear him). Then we came back to the hotel, parted ways, and you know the rest of my procrastinatory laziness.

And now, I must sleep. We are leaving tomorrow to drive back to San Francisco, and I have to stay awake for that + hang out when I get home + hopefully write something + do some day job stuff in anticipation for Monday. Goodnight!