why do all the monsters come out at night

I meant to go to bed an hour ago, so I really need to shut down so that I can get up in the morning. Today was excellent (or at least excellently productive) - Aunt Kathy came down from the city purely to help me with house projects, which was incredibly nice of her. So, I was up and at 'em before nine, since I assumed she would arrive relatively early. We spent the morning prepping and painting the closet in [censored]'s bedroom, and then in the afternoon Aunt Kathy painted the living room / front entrance closet while I finished prepping [censored]'s room to get painted tomorrow. All of this was a huge help since I would not have gotten it done by myself - and now I'm ready to paint a room tomorrow, which is exciting.

So, we spent the whole day doing house stuff, which [censored] joined in on a little after lunch. My parents stopped by somewhere in there to inspect progress, which was fun - we all continue to marvel at how terrible the bathrooms are in this house, but right now the stove and the kitchen in general are my nemeses and will need to be replaced before the bathrooms.

Eventually, we were done, and so Aunt Kathy went to my parents' house and [censored] and I picked up Mexican takeout to supply for dinner. We hung out at my parents' house for a couple of hours, which was nice - Dad told a story about a dead cat [not recently; it died in the 1970s, which I guess you had to be there for. And then [censored] and I came back to my house, where we tested out some tings, watched some Olympics, discussed kitchen options, etc.

And now, I'm desperate for some sleep since I'm 100% committed to painting a bedroom tomorrow - goodnight!

all my favorite colors

No blog tonight - I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night, and I exerted myself all day. I didn't get a chance to play with my new paint sprayer, but I did get as much as possible prepped for tomorrow. Forward progress on other activities was halted due to [censored]'s more pressing need to install a new hot water heater, but I now have hot water and [censored] is still speaking to me, so I take that all as a good sign.

So, [censored] successfully got the water heater installed and it looks much better than how the previous one was hooked up, so I'm grateful for that. [Censored] also put in the new shower head in my bathroom, so I may truly enjoy the hot water tomorrow. My dad also spent some time outside with a skid loader and a dump trailer - the previous owner had left a raised flower bed made of old railroad ties, which was good in some ways because I could see it looking good when it was full of flowers (and it also kept you from backing straight into the tree stump that was part of the flower bed). But it was also bad because it made getting in and out of my driveway more challenging than it needed to be.

I also ran some errands - primarily to buy paint, which is in such short supply nationally that the lumber yard can't get a lot of stuff and I may not be able to get enough paint there to finish every room in my house in the next month. But, they mixed me six gallons and sent me on my merry way without having to sign or pay for anything (see: yesterday's post about the beauties of charge accounts in small towns). So we'll see what that means...but that's a problem for Future Sara.

And now, I'm falling asleep typing this and have a million things I want to get done tomorrow. Goodnight!

everybody wanna pass as cats

Merry Christmas! I hope that you all had a wonderful day of celebration and feasting in whatever manner you chose to pursue given that we're living in 2020 and nothing is normal. I had a lovely day - we had our usual delightfully lazy morning opening packages, and I got a lot of gadgets and cookbooks to add some new techniques to my #quarantinechef game. That's a good thing, since #quarantinechef has no real end in sight yet...but now is not the time to think about that. And I like cooking, so I will choose to focus on the positive of how much more experimenting I'm going to get to do in the next few months.

After opening presents, I took a shower and switched into almost-pajamas (my winter leggings are basically pajamas and now I live in them) for my daytime activities. We had Christmas brunch (breakfast casserole, muffins, ambrosia), which was all perfect. Then I had a v. lazy afternoon - I had to suffer through [censored] winning at Ticket to Ride again, and then I relaxed and took a long nap. For supper, we had prime rib, which was an excellent way to get some protein/iron after too many days of my own cooking (I mostly make chicken, sorry guys). All in all, it was a really nice day, and hopefully things stay nice for the rest of my trip.

After all of that, I really just wanted to go to bed - but I rallied for a late family dinner (Christmas version) that came together somewhat last-minute with Adit and Priyanka, John and Jess, and Claudia and Sam. Ritu was too tired to join and Chandlord was mysteriously absent, but it was nice to talk to everyone else - and as much as this year is ridiculous, I do enjoy that it is forcing people who live in California to include me in their social plans because all social plans happen online now.

And now, I need to sleep - I have grand plans to do a bunch of writing-related stuff tomorrow and maybe start bingeing Bridgerton (a Netflix show based on one of my favorite historical romance series from back in the day) - we shall see, we shall see. Goodnight!

serial thrilla

Did I tell you that I bought an Audi? Yes? Well, I now have an even newer Audi. Surprise!

The thing I didn't say on the blog over the last month was that there were some irregularities (at least, in my mind) with the Audi that I bought a month ago vs. what the dealership had contractually agreed to. So, while I loved the car, I eventually lost my patience with them and sent a strongly worded email at five a.m. on Friday to the general manager of the Audi dealership, threatening to file a false advertising / false mileage / contractual failure complaint with the state + leaving negative reviews everywhere I could. The end result of this was that they swapped my original Audi for an even newer Audi - same trim, same features, same money, but none of the issues with the original.

Of course, that took time that I didn't really have to spare today - but I was in and out in about an hour, after signing all the paperwork and giving back my original and testing out the new one. They're functionally identical, and the dealership was profusely apologetic about my previous experience - so I forgive them and would recommend them in the future. And that's a good thing, since I adore my car and can see myself buying Audis in the future (provided that I continue to live a life of corporate whoredom, of course, in which case I will make myself feel better about the golden handcuffs by eventually upgrading to a sporty two-door coupe when my midlife crisis fully hits).

sssanyway. The rest of my day was uneventful - I got up in time for a 7:30am conference call (I do not recommend this), and then slogged until five, when I went to the dealership. I should have worked tonight, but instead I went to Pizzeria Locale and had two glasses of wine and some pizza and did some journaling in anticipation of my birthday (I like journaling on my birthday and reflecting upon my year, #sorrynotsorry). And now I should still be working, but I'm going to go to bed and hope that sleep will make me more productive in the morning - goodnight!

i'm only one call away

Today went pretty much perfectly, but I just stayed up too late and need to go to bed immediately. But until now, things probably couldn't have gone much better. I woke up a little after seven solely because Hamilton tickets went on sale for Des Moines this morning - Des Moines somehow scored one of the earliest stops on the touring show, and Hamilton is there for three weeks next summer. I logged two computers and two phones into the online waiting room during the 45min before the official opening of the digital line, since the policy was that anyone in the waiting room would be randomly assigned a place in the line at 9am. My phones both had an hour-plus wait when the line opened, but one laptop only ended up waiting for twenty minutes - so I grabbed four tickets for a matinee show, which means I can take my parents and [censored] if they choose to accept this mission.

That all went so much more smoothly than expected - I was sure that I wouldn't get tickets at all, or that they would be single-seat nosebleeds. So, my day was already set by nine a.m. But it continued to go well even after that - my furniture delivery showed up at ten, and the Room and Board guys were waaaay better than the Crate and Barrel dudes - R&B delivered two beds, a mattress, a dresser, two nightstands, and a bench/ottoman without complaining at all about the stairs, unlike the C&B guys. The furniture all looks great, and I'm super happy with it - and I can confirm that my bed frame is good because I took a nap on it this afternoon, so the initial test run went really well.

I spent the rest of the day alternating between day job stuff and unpacking stuff (plus a quick run to Target to buy another swathe of housewares). I was done by 5:15, though, and I walked around the block to get my hair cut - it was starting to look a little bedraggled, and at some point I'm going to have to find a stylist here despite my love for my SF stylist. I'm on the fence about the woman who cut my hair tonight - I think she did a good job, but my bangs are a little too blunt and her blowout wasn't nearly as good as Lauren's (but then, no one's is). So I may try another salon or two before I commit to a new relationship....

Then I came home and spent most of the evening doing housework. My end tables for my living room came yesterday and I had intended to ply Drewbaby (my cousin Andrew) with beer and tell him they were a puzzle to solve, but I decided to put them together myself. I also rolled out my new rug, which was just slightly too wide for the space, so I need someone to help me lift the couch (which is horrendously heavy because it's a sleeper sofa) so I can tuck the edge of the rug underneath it.

But things are coming together - not fast enough to look polished and well decorated for Thanksgiving, but fast enough that I might actually feel settled in the next few days. Isn't that a novel idea? And now I'm desperate to sleep - goodnight!

all monkeys do what they see

I had a pretty perfect day in the dirty east bay. I got enough sleep, then got up, showered, took Lily for a walk, and talked to my parents - probably not for long enough, and definitely way earlier in the day than usual, but I wanted to catch up with them before the rest of the day's plans commenced.

Then, John and Jess and Ian and I went down to Saul's (aka the best place to have breakfast/lunch/brunch in Berkeley, although don't tell Jess that we had brunch since she disapproves of such a dissolute meal). We had to wait a little bit for a table, but it was totally worth it - I had my favorite corned beef hash, which was as perfect as always, and I also got a latke and inhaled almost all of it. John's spinach benedict looked amazing, as did Jess's pita/egg sandwich, and Ian did a great job trying to eat his crayons. In other words, we all won!

Then they left to come home, and I wandered around the neighborhood for a bit and bought some groceries just in time to get picked up from Safeway by Heather (aka dear respected madam). She v. kindly drove all the way up from San Jose to see me, and it was totally delightful - we spent a good seven hours hanging out, mostly on the back patio in the dappled sunlight with a bottle of rosé and some snacks. Then we ordered Indian food for dinner (pretty tasty, not the best I've ever had), and then we sat in the hot tub as the sun went down, and it was all pretty much perfect.

Then she left, I took a quick shower to get rid of the hot tub feeling, and I also messed around online for too long. But now it's time for bed - goodnight!

do you see it clearer or are you deceived

I had a great day - I woke up slightly later than planned, but early enough to shower, eat breakfast, and make it out the door and to the coworking space before 9:30. Katie was already there since she's far more diligent than I am, so we chatted briefly, and I attempted to get some work done.

All in all, it was a v. successful attempt - I worked more hours on the story than I have in weeks, and I enjoyed the brainstorming and daydreaming and writing. I took a break to have lunch with Katie (we each brought our own stuff and ate it in the kitchen while laughing about ludicrous Civil War conspirators), but mostly worked all afternoon.

And then, when it was time to stop, I went back to Katie's with her, hung out with her and the girls (and James, who arrived just in time to take care of the grill), and ate dinner with them. Then I watched shark videos with the kids, who will hopefully not have nightmares tonight, and talked a little more with the grown-ups before it was time for the girls to go to bed and for me to come back to my airbnb.

Now, though, I need to sleep so I can recreate this magic tomorrow - goodnight!

i've had my fun and now it's time to

I think I had the best meal of my life tonight. I wasn't expecting it; I've had amazing, incredible culinary experiences before, and while Locavore was recently named the best restaurant in all of Asia, I didn't actually expect it to live up to the otherworldly meal I had a Momofuku in NYC, or even the likes of Gary Danko, Rich Table, or Octavia (Octavia isn't a crazy stand-out like Momofuku, but the strawberry float with homemade strawberry soda, and the Eton mess, and the deviled egg, will live on in my memory long after the rest of you have faded into the darkness of dementia).

(wow, that got bleak. let's rewind.)

I think I had the best meal of my life tonight.

Unlike everywhere else I've been in Ubud, it's essential to have a reservation for Locavore - a restaurant that is committed to the local food movement, and which also partners with local artisans to produce all of the serving dishes and other products. I managed to score a reservation for me, Sarah, Tamara, Gemma, and Xavier for eight p.m., and we all agreed to do the seven-course tasting menu with paired drinks. The paired drinks were all cocktails instead of wine, and they were some of the most inventive, interesting cocktails I've ever had.

But before we did that, we each ordered a cocktail to start. Mine was called 'trouble maker' (of course) and was served in this ridiculous wooden urn with lots of ice, a flower, a straw, and a bunch of bulleit bourbon and hibiscus - yum. But Gemma ordered the one I'd almost ordered ('into the wild'), and it was delicious - but on the side, they had a little pot of herbs which they lit on fire, and she said the cocktail was even more incredible when you sipped it with the smoke from the herbs wafting around the drink.

Then the food started, and it just kept coming. Before we even got to the first course, there were like three pre-amuse-bouches and two amuse bouches, and they were all totally incredible. There was some sort of seaweed 'pillow' with a delicious liquid inside that none of us understood but all of us loved; there was a potato fritter with some sort of sauce that I would have killed to be able to eat more of; there was a salted spinach chip that was somehow beyond my usual enjoyment of any of the base components; and there was a palate cleanser of 'bloody mary sorbet', which you will just have to trust when I say it was fucking delicious.

And then the main courses and the drink pairings started, and it was a culinary wonderland. Little touches, like spraying mushroom essence into the cocktail at the table, turned into gorgeously tasty moments. There were seven courses, but the standouts were the beef tartare, which had some accompaniments that I can't remember but that made for the best single bite of the meal; the catfish, which was laughably decadent compared to the breaded and fried (and delicious in a different way) catfish of my youth; and the slow cooked duck egg with rice, snails, garlic, frog, and wild flowers, which I could have eaten forever.

Dessert was way too much - there was the regular dessert, which was a trio of sorbets (good way to end)...and then they brought out like five more bites for each of us, including some sort of yogurt in a spoon, a chocolate cake bite, and an egg custard served inside an eggshell. So we were all totally stuffed at that point. But throughout the night, the conversation flowed, the people were lovely, and the food was delightful - so it made for an epic night. And while it was certainly decadent by any standards, the total came to <$140 each for all the food and eight drinks each, which I consider a total win.

Then we came home, and now I just want to lie in bed and rub my belly and dream of this meal, and past meals, and future meals, and how food binds us all together. The rain is falling outside, as it was when we were leaving the restaurant, and the thunder and lightning and rainfall is as soothing and exciting as the meal was...and makes me miss other summers, and other storms, and other meals, even as I wouldn't trade this one in for anything.

Other than the meal, the rest of my day was unexciting; I went to Yellow Flower with Sarah for breakfast, and then I came home and worked allllll day, with a brief break to eat some nasi goreng and chat with Katrina via whatsapp (the app of the future). [also, I just noticed that I called this place 'home'...interesting]. The work was good, in the end - I redid my whole sararamsey.com website, and it looks like it's basically launched, which is great since the old one was in dire need of a revamp and I finally figured out how to get Squarespace to do what I wanted it to do.

But now, it's definitely time for bed - real life returns tomorrow, since I will be mildly hungover, still full, and v. much in need of some writing time. Goodnight!

imma wade, imma wave through your shallow love

Today was about as perfect of a capstone as I could ask for on this east coast trip - I'm sad to leave tomorrow, but also excited to wear some clothes that haven't been in my suitcase for the past two weeks, so it's probably time to get back to the city of sin. But Boston, Provincetown, and New York were everything I wanted, so it will be bittersweet to say goodbye.

But that's not for a few hours yet, so let's recap. My morning/midday/afternoon will be exceedingly uninteresting to you - I got up, showered, and then spent a couple of hours at Irving Farms, where I ate mediocre eggs and tasty gluten-free toast with avocado, and drank some hipster iced coffee while writing. Then, I was going to take a call with my editor from Terry's apartment, but I couldn't get the keys due to an unexpected snafu, so I went to another cafe and talked to the editor there instead. The verdict seems to be that I'm overreacting about hating this book and that it's all fixable, but we'll see.

Then, I was going to come back to Terry's, but the key situation was still a problem. So then I was going to go to Starbucks, but that didn't feel appealing - so I ended up at Cafe Tallulah, which is a French bistro that would be my Des Amis equivalent if I lived in this neighborhood. I sat at the bar to dry out (it was raining and I got exceedingly wet), and I wrote while eating some truffle fries and drinking an excellent pinot noir. My 'give me free alcohol' face must have been working today, because the server gave me a 'splash for the road', which turned into a full glass, which meant I drank more than I intended. But the work I got done there was pretty valuable, so #noregrets.

Then I finally came back to Terry's, and we talked about life and generally relaxed and drank cosmos and then ordered/ate some gluten free pizza that was really tasty. We also watched James Corden's Carpool Karaoke with the 'Hamilton' creator + some other Broadway stars, and it was totally awesome - definitely watch it.

And then we progressed to the main event - we had tickets to see Beyoncé tonight at Citi Field (the Mets stadium), and so we took the subway over. The opening act was DJ Khaled with a bunch of people whom we'd mostly never heard of because we're old (so old that I could only roll my eyes when the kid behind me was begging his friend to let him use her snapchat in exchange for $80, and she declined the offer). But he was mercifully over eventually, and then we watched some ads for Beyoncé's athletic wear clothing line, and then there were some music videos....

And then Beyoncé came out, and it was like the heavens parted and we were temporarily raptured for two hours, only to be brutally dumped back into the apocalyptic hellscape that we inhabit (okay, sorry, NYC isn't a hellscape, but SF is). Everything was incredible - from the main stage (involving a massive cube with screens on all sides, which kept rotating/opening/closing/occasionally shooting fire), to the catwalk out to the secondary stage (the catwalk had moving walkways to make the dancers appear to float sometimes; the secondary stage seemed normal until the end, when it became a shallow pool they cavorted in), to the costumes, to the dancers, and everything and anything in between.

But Beyoncé herself is an incredible artist, and there were parts of her performance that left me in awe. It helped that we had great seats and I could actually see her at various points, which was amazing (I mean, I've been closer to way more important musicians, like Gavin Rossdale, but this was pretty cool too). So Terry and I had an awesome time singing and dancing around and generally being inspired.

But all good things must end, and after she told us she could see her halos (which was nice of her to say), we left and braved the hordes of people to get on the subway back to Manhattan. We were lucky and got seats on the train, so it could have been way worse. And we made it back safely, and still in awe, and it was all great.

Now, though, I must sleep - my flight isn't early tomorrow, but I want to get some rest so that I can work on the plane without wanting to sleep the whole way. If Beyoncé can drop this surprise album and build an elaborate tour around it, I can surely write a fucking book this summer. Goodnight!

i get a little bit genghis khan, don't want you to get it on

Boston's climate today was a scorched hellscape, but the music scene was angelic...so perhaps the net net is that I wound up in some sort of weird purgatory? Read the following paragraphs and be the judge....

I didn't sleep all that well last night - between the jetlag, the alcohol, the excitement of seeing Ritu, the relatively warm room, and the fact that I usually don't sleep that well on my first night in a new place, my slumber was super fitful. So theoretically I got seven and a half hours based on when I went to bed and when I got up, but it felt like five. This was v. unwelcome coming on top of Thursday night's redeye (barely slept) and Wednesday night's sleep/writing break (another five or six hour night). But I got up and hung out with Ritu while drinking coffee and doing nothing, and that was great.

Eventually, we all showered and tidied up and had brunch/lunch at Ribelle, which was delish - I had an omelette with cheese that was a standout winner of its class, and the coffee also went a long way toward restoring me. At that point I was still trying to be healthy(ish) - I had turned down morning champagne with Ritu, which had taken her completely by surprise. Of course, that ended as soon as we got to the concert venue. It was at least ninety degrees today, which made for a v. intensely warm experience, and so when we got there we pretty much immediately sought out cold wine in a can and a bit of shade on the back terrace.

But we listened to some of the afternoon sets and really liked them - in particular, I liked Battles, the Vaccines, and also Børns, who sings 'Electric Love', which is a delightful song. We alternated between hanging out in the main area and seeking shade in some of the back channels, and it was all great (albeit super sweaty).

But by 4:30ish, we needed a break, so we left the venue and had a v. long, leisurely early dinner at Rigoletto, which was a couple of blocks from the stages at City Hall. They had a gluten free pasta with a really excellent bolognese sauce, and we had two bottles of wine, because that seemed sooooo necessary. And then, after we'd cooled off and eaten and liquored up, we went back to the festival....

...but by that point, I was so sleepy that I was practically falling asleep standing up. We watched Miike Snow, who was great, and then we mostly hung out away from the crowds during Odesza (whose music I really like, but it's all electronica, which I wasn't really in the mood for). We also watched some of the Warriors game, since there was a lounge area with TVs (lol). And then, after even more alcohol, we infiltrated the stage area and watched Robyn (who was great, but it's hard to top the amazingness that was Sia's performance last night).

When the concert was over, we adjourned to Eastern Standard, where we all had another full meal at 11pm + cocktails that were delightful. At this point Ritu went off the rails and was talking nonsense (I think due to exhaustion, not alcohol), and it was all ridiculous (but the food and ambience were great!). The ridiculousness continued on the way home, when it suddenly became scarily clear that I am the only person sober enough to make decisions (and since Ritu, as of fifteen minutes ago, thought Bill was possessed by the devil and Bill was making no efforts to convince her otherwise...but then, I make terrible decisions on far less information than this, so I suppose they're good for each other).

And now, after getting them safely into bed (and considering hiring a pagan goddess to confine them there, although that would be a real blow to the romantic ideal of falling in love easily or staying together no matter what)...it's time for me to sleep and hopefully survive tomorrow. Goodnight!

i'll run to the moon and walk on the sea, i'll start a new world for you and me

Today went much better than yesterday, but due to some social activities I wasn't able to maximize my newly productive situation. However, I'll totally take what I got. I woke up at 6:30 (shocking), meditated, made a smoothie (I'm sounding like some insufferable yuppie at this point, but whatev), and then did a bit of admin work. Then I wasted some time while drinking my smoothie. But I pulled myself together, showered, and sat down at my kitchen table (after dusting everything, which is as much of a procrastination sign as the fact that I cleaned my bathroom yesterday and cleaned my kitchen shelves a couple of days ago), and I wrote for a couple of really solid, focused hours, which felt great.

Unfortunately, I had to abandon productivity because I'd made plans to meet Anne and Barbara for a writing date. This one was less productive than usual; we always spend some time talking, but Barbara was just back from BEA (an industry conference), and she and Anne had just had lunch with one of my favorite romance novelists of my youth (Catherine Coulter, whom Katie and I totally adored and worshipped back in the day), so they told me about that. Even better, Catherine was giving away some books, and Anne snagged three research books for me (one on smuggling and two on clothes) - which made my heart stop, because I now have research books previously owned by my idol. Of course I had to text Katie tonight about all of this, because she's the only person who can understand the depth of my joy...and now I need to write a smuggling book (which was, theoretically, a possible plot for the next book in this series, but I can't think of that right now).

So we talked way longer than usual. But I did manage to get another thirty minutes of solid writing in, which was great. Then traffic was looking bleak, so I went to Burlingame and grabbed a salad for dinner, and then I went to the Philz there to get some beans so I can make coffee at home, since I don't have time to go there the next couple of days. When I got home, I texted Katie (as mentioned above), and then I should have written, but I didn't quite pull myself together.

But tomorrow is another day, and I hope the morning and evening are as productive as today's morning was...but I have fun plans in the middle of the day, so I need to get to sleep so I can do stuff early tomorrow. Goodnight!

some love is just a lie of the heart

Today was the first day this year in which I didn't leave my apartment building at all (this is a true statement: I verified with a combo of my calendar + my blog). So my reputation as a hermit may be of long standing, given that in the past I have been a hermit - but clearly I am failing in my hermity ways at the moment.

However, even though I didn't leave my apartment building, I did spend most of the day outside, and it was *glorious*. It was gorgeous in SF - one of those rare warm, sunny days with minimal wind, when living in a building with a pool is actually useful. So I woke up, messed around, ate some breakfast, put on a swimsuit and sunscreen, and then laid out by the pool from eleven to three. I spent the first hour plotting and scheming, and then I took a brief nap. Then I ran back into my apartment to make some iced coffee, and then I spent a couple of hours rereading part of a book called 'Courtesans: Money, Sex, and Fame in the Nineteenth Century'. I read it several years ago when I was researching Ellie and Nick's story, even though Ellie wasn't really a courtesan (she was a widow, which is a totally different ballgame). But Octavia technically is a courtesan, and I was in the mood to reread parts of it to get into the proper frame of mind. The history of all of that stuff is fascinating...but I shall spare you the details, since you don't care and I need to go to bed anyway.

By 3pm, the sun had disappeared from my side of the pool, so I came upstairs, took care of a couple of things, and then sat on my terrace and soaked up some more sun while talking to my parents. They were their usual selves, but my dad's one attempt at an inappropriate joke was blocked out by a fortuitous signal loss, so that was great.

Then, I probably should have written Rafe and Octavia....but the sun was still so lovely, in a way that I probably won't get again for awhile, and I was feeling contemplative about my spinster honeymoon project. So I poured a glass of rosé and sat on the terrace until sometime after six, and I wrote three pages of notes for that project. It's weird to be contemplating something new - I have no idea who the characters are, or how to structure it, or what the story is. But I have a lot of snippets of dialogue and scene and feeling, and I'll have to trust, at some point, that there will be a book there.

At that point, I really should have written Rafe and Octavia...but I decided to give in fully to my spinster honeymoon desires instead. So I ate the last bits of my leftover pasta, poured another glass of rosé, and watched 'Trainwreck' instead. It is definitely research for Spinster Honeymoon (and I shall write it off on my taxes, I assure you) - I thought the pacing was just a bit uneven, and there was way more LeBron James than I had realized there would be. But it was funny and heartfelt and an interesting play on some familiar tropes, and I enjoyed it quite a bit.

But my day in the sun + my day as a hermit has come to an end, and I must go to bed so that I can pursue my plan of getting up early and attempting to reform my habits starting tomorrow morning. I only have a few hours to write before I must go to the south bay for other activities, so I need to make it happen. Goodnight!

i'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime

I am in ye olde Iowa, finally, after a long adventure with many twists and turns. Yesterday, as I said, was partially fun/exciting and partially stressful/exhausting. I had a lot of fun people-watching and talking to strangers, as is my wont, and I got to end the day with a four-hour convo with Katie (and occasionally James) over a bottle of wine in their basement, which was pretty much perfect.

Today was slightly less perfect - getting four hours of sleep for the second night in a row was not good for me. And then I went back to the airport, which was not good for my bank account - while my lyft last night was a reasonable $70 (when the roads were horrible), my uber this morning was at 4.8x surge pricing, so it cost $300 to get to the airport. I think my flight was $303 roundtrip, so the uber was a rather unfortunate addition. It was still worth it to see Katie (and to sleep in a bed for four hours, and shower before getting on the plane), although that would have paid for a flight to see her for a whole weekend some other time.

But my mood grew surlier, paradoxically, when I got to the airport and sailed through security in five minutes - I had planned to get there two hours early in case the lines were terrible, and while they were terrible at check-in, I had a boarding pass and TSA precheck and was through in a blink. So I sat, in a v. surly manner, and had breakfast at the airport - I must have had an epic case of resting bitch face because the server, upon seeing that I hadn't finished my omelette, asked in a v. worried manner if something was wrong with it. The only thing wrong was my exhausted body and my rebellious stomach, so I set his fears at ease (or maybe scared him away entirely).

However, my flight to Des Moines was on time, and I alternated with sleeping and writing (more sleeping, less writing). Then my parents picked me up, and we had a delish lunch at Johnny's, as per usual. We drove home after that, with a stop at a grocery store, where I got some rather bad coffee to keep me going while they grabbed some necessities.

Then we came home, and I mostly wasted the rest of the day - but I did accomplish the feat of rebooking my return ticket without a penalty, so I'm going to stay here a couple of extra days to make up for the fact that I basically lost yesterday and today. I also watched some basketball, including the Kansas game (go Big 12, I guess). And I had supper with my parents (also delish), and then [censored] got home around ten, so we spent the next hour and a half talking about [censored], [censored], [censored], etc.

But now I'm desperate for sleep - I should have gone to bed two hours ago, since I must write most of tomorrow and I need to rest my fog-filled brain (mental fog, not #karlthefog, although he lives in my heart). Goodnight!

we'll be counting stars

Merry Christmas! Paradoxically, one of the shortest days of the year somehow always feels like one of the longest (I think I mean that in a good way?). Or perhaps that's because it's a random day where I have to get up super early in the middle of vacation, and after seven months of basically getting up whenever I feel like it.

However, it was all wonderful. I woke up shortly after seven, and we spent a glorious couple of hours opening packages. It's traditional in our family to take turns and open one gift at a time, which tends to lengthen the festivities. Also, we take things like stocking stuffers very seriously (or not at all seriously, depending on your viewpoint), which makes for some entertaining gifts (such as the coloring book of the Kings and Queens of England that my dad got me). I was quite happy with my gifts, which are geared toward an alcoholic octogenarian hermit (lovely Sorel slippers + a Vacuvin for increasing the longevity of open bottles of wine make for a happy hermit, along with a few cookbooks to make sure I feed myself well in my hermitage, as well as various and sundry other items). I also got some travel-related items, though (especially an anti-theft purse and a luggage scale), which makes me think I'm sending mixed signals about my desire to be a hermit vs. my desire to get the fuck out of my current life and explore the unknown.

That last sentence was probably the most true thing I've typed in awhile. sssanyway. I was also quite happy with the reaction to the gifts I gave others, and I think we all had a great Christmas morning. Then we all picked up everything (our other Christmas tradition is that paper can't lie on the floor for more than fifteen minutes after the last gift is opened), messed around with our gifts (we also had to clean up so Mom could test her new vacuum cleaner, which is the stereotypically worst gift to give someone, but she wanted it), and generally got ready for the second phase of the day.

This started with brunch - my mother made a delicious breakfast casserole, and my father had made ambrosia last night (grapefruit, oranges, and bananas), and I contributed a bottle of champagne and some orange juice to get the party going. We had barely cleaned up from all of that before my sister and her family arrived - I think we were Christmas #3 for them (#4 for Sammi and Jaicee, who visited Sammi's paternal grandmother before coming out). So we hung out, opened more presents, played with Jaicee (who in an energetic, moody, super cute six-year-old), and ate an early supper (or late dinner, or early dinner, depending on your terminology) - Mom made ham and baked beans and cheesy potatoes and other crowd favorites, and it was super yummy.

Then Sammi took Jaicee into town to give her to her dad, and then Sammi came back and we all (sans Shawn, who refrained) played Cards Against Humanity until we were all too tired to continue. The less said about that, the better. Then they all left, and [censored] and Mom and I hung out in the kitchen while Mom finished the cleanup (in retrospect I should have done more to help, but I was intent on helping finish more of the champagne). And now, I'm desperate for sleep, and I hope I sleep in tomorrow to make up for today's bout of extreme socializing - goodnight! And I hope you all had a very merry Christmas (or whatever else you pagans celebrate)!

so bring us some figgy pudding

I had the best day today! Yes, I used an exclamation point; my serious writer card is hereby revoked (although I also used a semicolon, so maybe I'm just on probation). But today was seriously great. I messed around the apartment this morning, taking care of things and grooming and packing, but I made it out of the building by eleven so that I could spend an hour working at Goody (with some success - the young adult book is exciting me at the moment). Then I drove to wine country, and that's when the real fun began...

First up was a very long, leisurely afternoon at Gloria Ferrer. You may remember that I became a member because I'm a fancy bitch, and so I met up with Shedletsky and Tina (aka Bride of Shedletsky), and we sat on the terrace for a long time and enjoyed the complimentary flights that come with my membership. We also had charcuterie and cheese, which was delish, as usual. And then, because we were enjoying the terrace so much, and because there was no one there, we bought a bottle of pinot noir to split; I think this was technically against the rules, but they seemed cool with it. The weather was perfect for it, and they brought us blankets when it became slightly less perfect, and we moved inside for the last half hour when it started to rain, so that was all delightful. Needless to say, Gloria Ferrer remains one of my favorite places; they may not have the best wine in the entire valley ever (although I think their sparklings are really good), but the terrace alone is worth the visit.

After we were done there, we drove up to Healdsburg and checked in at Madrona, which is where I had my weird/fabulous/eccentric night out in August. We had made reservations ages ago to go to the Dickens-themed dinner, and we were v. v. excited about this. I was particularly excited about the eggnog, which was what brought me here; as you may recall, I befriended the bartender in August, and she had told me that she had started the eggnog back in February. So when we had changed and made it downstairs, I made sure to order a pre-dinner eggnog and reintroduce myself to the bartender, who was v. happy to see me (#protip: befriend the bartender). And the eggnog was everything I had dreamed about...

But dinner was also incredible. It was a five-course menu; we started with this amuse bouche served in an eggshell that had had the top perfectly sliced off, which was so good. Then there was a dungeness crab salad, and a truffle risotto that was so fucking good (although Tina had the soup, which was also amazingly good), and beef wellington (the beef was perfect, as were the potatoes), and a fancy dessert that looked like a ho-ho and tasted like an andes mint, with meringues shaped like mushrooms around a 'log' of chocolate cake. And we had all the wine pairings, which were delish.

But the other weird/amazing/awesome thing about dinner was the Victorian-style carolers who came around and sang during courses. It was two men (a bass and a tenor) and three women, and they were in full period garb, which was super cool (if you're an extreme dork like me). They came through a few times and sang 2-3 carols each time, and they were really good (although if you hate being sung to at dinner, this was not for you - but they were carefully timed with the courses/waitstaff, so no one was ever actually eating while they sang). Tina wanted to set me up with one of the carolers, but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

But then we went back to the bar area (a covered patio with heatlamps and the awesome sound of rain pounding outside). Shedletsky and I were going to just get an eggnog to finish off the night, but Pam wanted to share some of the things she's been making, and I couldn't decline. So she comped us a liqueur, and she also made two cocktails with a special liqueur she made for herself + a homemade shrub (vinegar-based syrup) + sparkling wine, and that cocktail was *delish*. She also brought me a little bottle of the new bitters she's been making/experimenting with, and asked me to try it out at home and let her know what I think. Again, #protip, befriend the bartenders.

So we enjoyed our drinks, and talked about a lot of ridiculous things (politics, bullets, spinster honeymoons), and then we got a last round of eggnog before Pam went home. We closed down the bar so hard that the last hotel employee just showed us how to turn off the heat lamps and lock the doors, so we hung out until we could hang out no more.

And now I want to sleep, and try to sleep off the alcohol, and dream of sweet things until it's time to meet the Shedletskys for breakfast - goodnight!

we never go out of style

Today was pretty much perfect, in an entirely different way from the perfection of Bora Bora. Bora Bora is a manufactured paradise, made perfect for tourists (and honeymooners especially) - granted, they have the gift of awesome weather and an amazing setting around a sinking volcano, but the perfection comes from the setting and the service, not the saccharine cultural overlay that seems to have only minimal basis in history.

Easter Island, by contrast, is perfectly remote and very nearly totally desolate, thanks to the deforestation the inhabitants caused while using trees to move their crazy statue heads from the quarry to opposite sides of the island. Only seven thousand people live on the island, and it's nearly 2000km from the nearest inhabited land (Pitcairn Island, which isn't exactly a bustling metropolis) and well over 2000km from mainland Chile. So they're really isolated, and you can feel it in how empty the tourist locations are; only 70,000 tourists make it here per year, and we're hitting the low season, which means that the hotels aren't anywhere close to full and the tour guides have plenty of availability.

This, it turns out, worked entirely to our advantage today. After sleeping for almost ten hours last night (and still having to set an alarm to get out of bed - dawn isn't until 8:30 here, which is crazy), we met up with our guide for today's tour. It turns out that he was possibly the best thing of the entire trip - his name is Marcus, and he's a Swede who came here on a backpacking trip, came back, fell in love with a local woman, and stayed put. He's now learned Rapa Nui, which was super helpful in negotiating the local politics (more on that in a moment). He gave me and Joann a private tour of some of the best spots on the island - the most famous statue locations (the ahu, or ceremonial platforms where the moai (statues) were placed), the quarry where they were carved (and where hundreds still sit in varying forms of completion), and the beach where legend has it that the first king landed.

All of this was completely, desolately gorgeous. It rained a bit off and on all day, which added to the atmosphere. There was also a bit of local drama to add some spice; a self-appointed group of local revolutionaries has 'overthrown' the park ranger service and is now controlling access to everything, a state of affairs that the Chilean government seems to be tolerating during the low season. This is sort of good for us, since it meant we didn't have to buy the sixty dollar park pass, but it seems to be untenable in the long term. But Marcus knows them all (and everyone else on the island), and since their beef is with the Chilean government and recent Chilean immigrants rather than with the lone Swede on the island, we were totally fine.

So we spent the day touring, along with a lunch break at the beach, where I had a pork dish that completely shocked the cook - apparently tourists only order the empanadas, but since I can't eat wheat, I ordered meat. When I ordered, she made some joke about me being a Rapa Nui warrior; then she came out again later to say (in Spanish) that she was sorry it was taking so long, but she was cooking it really thoroughly so my tourist stomach could handle it. Hahahaha. But it turned out to be the most amazingly, simply delicious thing I've had in awhile, so if I get trichinosis from it, so be it.

Marcus ended the day by singing to us on the beach, and we enjoyed it so much that we booked him again for tomorrow. And then we came back to the hotel, rested a bit (or, in my case, went crazy because the internet wasn't working), went out and grabbed an early dinner (ceviche and half a bottle of wine for me, chicken stir fry and local beer for Joann), and then speed-walked back to the hotel as dusk was turning to darkness and the feral dogs started baying and snapping at each other.

And now I must sleep; we have another tour tomorrow, and then we're going to freshen up and have dinner before going to the airport for yet another short red-eye flight (in economy this time - but I have a lot of Chilean wine to look forward to at the end of it). Goodnight!

groove is in the heart

I deeply regret not blogging last night, mostly because it means that I must blog tonight or I may be faced with a mutiny of all hands (or at least a mutiny of my mother, which is far scarier). But today was lovely. Since I will be accused of burying the lede if I don't share my good news straight away, I'll share my good news now: thanks to some pricing experimentation + a well-timed ad with an ebook daily deal newsletter, my first book (Heiress) suddenly became the #1 Regency romance on Amazon, B&N and Apple at the same time. Shocking! It's in the top fifty overall on Amazon, top twenty on B&N, and top sixty on Apple. This spike won't last forever - maybe a couple of days, and then it will taper dramatically - but hopefully it will lead to more name recognition and better sales of the other books in the series.

Needless to say, that was pretty much all I cared about this afternoon, which made me pretty useless, so it's good that I worked from home today. I snuck offline early to get a much-needed pedicure (yes, it's a need, not a want), and then I came home, dolled myself up, and sped out the door to meet up with Kathia for drinks and dinner before my corporate holiday party. I had planned to take Terry, but she bailed for another engagement, and luckily Kathia was up to the last-minute challenge. So we had two glasses of champagne at Nectar to continue celebrating her book launch and my advertising success, and then we had a delicious dinner next door, where we gorged ourselves on peppers and animal flesh and met a v. entertaining couple (the husband claimed that he ripped seven bodices today when he found out that we write romance).

After dinner, I would have happily continued to drink wine anywhere else, but we were good sports and grabbed a taxi to go downtown to the party. As it turns out, I'm super glad we went; the music was pretty good, the drinks were strong (and the bartender was way entertaining about the fact that Kathia had to drink Old Crow whisky if she didn't want to pay to upgrade), the dancing was fun (even if Kathia pulled me out onto the floor early, when the only other person dancing was the VP of the whole group), and I saw most of my fellow teammates who were in attendance, so it was all quite winning. And we adjourned around 11:30 so that we could catch a cab before the rush, and then went to Brazen Head, where we split some escargots and had awesome bailey's cappuccinos. Her husband joined us there and we hung out quite happily for an hour or so before I decided that I had to come home and go to bed.

And now I really must sleep - goodnight!

and he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at johnny's feet

I am both v. sad and incredibly relieved that conference is over for another year. Sad because I think this is the best conference I've ever been to; relieved because I need to finish this damn book, then write several more to fulfill my one-year plan for world domination (call it a Great Leap Forward, sans Mao Zedong and the forced relocation of a bunch of intellectuals). Today was utterly exhausting and rewarding, though. I woke up hungover, which is what I deserved, but I made it downstairs in time for a metadata workshop with Courtney Milan, who is one of the smartest selfpubbers in the business. Then I had lunch with Grace, Tina and Kristin, which was lovely. After lunch, I spent half an hour thinking about writing and instead making a list of all the things I want to do publishing-wise when I get home (which is v. extensive), then went to another couple of workshops, then went to my room and rested for a bit.

Tonight was the last night, though, and it was also the RITA/Golden Heart ceremony, so I needed to rally. I put on my dress and some eyeliner, met up with some friends for dinner, and then had a drink in the bar and another while standing in line for the ceremony (the hotel v. smartly sent waiters down the line, so I got some more red wine, which was a triumph and a tragedy). The ceremony was fun, although I personally think last year's was better, but I may be biased since I planned that one. Yes, my inner bitch is showing.

After the ceremony, I hung out in the bar for three hours or so with Kathia and whoever happened to wander by. Then I came upstairs, packed most of my stuff, and am now blogging so that you know I'm not dead (as of when I hit 'publish'; my liver makes no promises after that).

But if you care to know my heart and soul rather than just the facts of my day, I will say that this conference (and this year) has been quite excellent for me in terms of figuring out my priorities, feeling like I know what I'm doing, and making or reinforcing connections that will hopefully be good friends in the long term. Whether I'm faking it until I make it or I'm actually becoming friends with people, I would say that I'm getting to know some of the awesomest people on both the historical side and the selfpub side, which is wonderful and enjoyable even if it does nothing for my career. And I'm feeling that now, more than ever, I can see a path toward gaining a ton of readers and making a ton of money with my writing, which is a goal I've theoretically had all along but have not worked particularly hard to achieve.

But that path requires a lot of writing and a lot of business stuff - and since I have a full-time dayjob, I may need to reconsider all of this (or hire an assistant, which I've considered doing). For now, though, suffice it to say that while I'm looking forward to returning to my real life and my real-life friends, I have enjoyed being Sara Ramsey this week, and I'm so psyched to finish Prudence and Alex's book. I'm sure that feeling will die a hideous death when I try to write on the plane tomorrow, but c'est la vie. Goodnight!

like a real aristocrat

I'm too tired to blog and had hoped to go to bed twenty minutes ago, so this shall be brief. I woke up in Texas and am now home, which is probably all you really need to know (if you need to know any of this). But the day was mostly fine, as long as I maintained my zen attitude about extreme travel delays. I ate breakfast with the family, checked out of the hotel, bid them a fond farewell, and then followed my parents and [censored] for about an hour and a half on the way to Austin. We waved goodbye to each other as they went off on the highway that would take them north on their endless drive home while I went to the airport to return my rental car and check in for my flight.

My flight wasn't supposed to be until 6:45, but since I got to the airport at one, I decided to pay the $75 to get a confirmed seat on the 3:01 flight instead. And this was the best $75 I ever spent (except for the cost of the sex show in Amsterdam, but I guess I didn't pay for that, so this is back on top of the list). As it turned out, all flights to San Francisco from anywhere in the country were delayed by approximately three hours because SF wanted to remind me why it sucks to live here and why I should be constantly questioning all of the life decisions that led me to this point. Or I could be less melodramatic and just try to fly in/out of Oakland instead of SF, but I digress.

So, my 3:01 flight took off at 6:45...the time that my original flight was supposed to take off. But when I landed in SFO, I got an email saying that the original flight was canceled, so if I hadn't done what I did, I would still be in Austin, and likely much surlier than I am now. Since I was in a relatively zen mood, though, I took a nap in the airport, played on my phone, and enjoyed watching strangers freaking out over something that was absolutely uncontrollable. Heh.

The rest of the trip was uneventful; I drank a glass of wine and wrote twelve pages on the plane, then came home and unpacked some of my stuff so that I can be ready for work tomorrow. And now that all the family fun is over, I must get back into the swing of my day job/writing life. And for that I require massive amounts of sleep - goodnight!

now you're just somebody that i used to know

I'm super, super sleepy, but I must report that the family reunion has been amazeballs. Granted, I know no one and am having trouble remembering names (when in doubt, say 'wamp'), but I'm having a truly lovely time. The morning started off right with a shower after five and a half hours of sleep (not enough), followed by breakfast with [censored], where we sat at the same table where the 'rents and Aunt B and Uncle Mark had been hanging out for awhile already. After we all had breakfast, we adjourned to the cars, where we had a loose convoy going - due to carsickness being a genetic commonality amongst us, we had to take three cars for six people so that no one had to ride in the backseat. [censored] and I beat the rest of them to the ranch, which took a good forty-five minutes. Even with a Google Maps tour from the comfort of my bedroom a couple of nights ago, I didn't fully appreciate just how remote this ranch is...

...but for all its remoteness, it's amazing. The facilities we're using are only used officially for a week a year plus some family events for the owners plus our family reunion (since Wendell is tight with the owners of the ranch) - and it's totally insane that this place is only used once a year for a large group of horseback riders. But they have a ninety-nine year lease on this part of the property, and have put in amazing bunkhouses, an amphitheatre, a swimming hole, and all sorts of other stuff that was v. cool to see.

Even cooler was seeing some of the extended family that I don't know/had only heard of. The attendees are all descendants of my great-great-grandfather (aka Patriarch Wamp - j/k), and since my great-grandfather was one of eight siblings, there are quite a few descendants. My immediate branch looks quite small by comparison. But I heard some truly amazing stories (note to self: rescuing shipwrecked sailors from the USS Indianapolis; a fourteen-year corresponding romance between a merchant marine/Clark Gable lookalike named Virgil and a girl with gorgeous blue eyes who'd suffered a severely debilitating bout of childhood polio that led to a shipboard wedding in Mobile; a cousin who died in a car accident and the attendees of the funeral who died in a car accident on the way home; the photos of my granddad and his twin brother on Wendell's wall; shooting wild hogs out of a helicopter rather than killing them with dogs and knives 'like you see on tv'). And I got a chance to hang out with the fam in a way that I wouldn't have otherwise.

After, [censored] and I survived the drive back to the hotel, and then we hung out on Aunt B's deck and drank some wine (okay, I drank most of it, even without Adit here to lead me astray). And now, I must sleep so that I can make another trip out to the ranch tomorrow. Goodnight!