peace of mind

I have had a v. eventful few days. Work continues to be a slog, which is why I haven’t had the energy to post at the end of the day - but it’s a (mostly) fun slog, so I am not that resentful of the increased demands on my time.

So, let’s see what we missed (what you missed in reading + what I missed in documenting):

Thursday was my birthday (#neverforget), and I celebrated as soon as I woke up by having a funfetti cupcake instead of a granola bar with my coffee. I spent the day slogging through a variety of tings and also fielding texts from a variety of people - the advantage of a 9/11 birthday is that it is remembered by people even if they don’t have it on their calendars, so I feel like I hear from more people than average (and then feel guilty because I definitely don’t remember everyone else’s birthdays).

After I was done with work, my mom, [censored] and I went to Garden Grove to celebrate my birthday at one of the only restaurants around that was open. I always love their cheese curds and fried pickles even though they certainly are not gluten free; I also had a southern Iowa lemonade, and the bourbon made up for the fact that my burger wasn’t as good as it usually is. So, we had a nice birthday dinner, and I ended the day feeling very loved (especially because someone at work refused to add me to a 9-11pm meeting because it was my birthday, so I went to bed while everyone else slogged).

Friday was chaotic = I got up and went into town to get allergy shots, and then I slogged through more meetings than I like to have on Fridays. I also had to pack to leave for SF, which made things more chaotic. But since I was originally supposed to fly out Friday night, the fact that I didn’t leave until Saturday morning made it just a wee bit more manageable. So I got packed up, watered all my plants and gardens, organized things, and also made dinner - I baked some chicken breasts, cooked the last of a pack of bacon that was going to go bad before my return, sliced up some fresh tomatoes and some leftover mozzarella, and [censored] and I had a surprisingly delicious dinner (and I left him with leftovers, assuaging my guilt at also leaving him with plants to water).

Saturday, I flew to SF. My flight was at 9, which meant leaving home at 6…and I only left twenty minutes later than planned, which is luckily not a problem when flying out of Des Moines. I parked in the garage, walked straight through security with my carry-on, and had time for a glass of nerve-calming rosé at the bar before boarding on time. My flights were both smooth from a timing standpoint, but unfortunately I was banking on eating on the Denver->SF flight, and they didn’t end up offering any food because there was too much turbulence.

So I landed in SF early but starving. Since I didn’t have to pick up a checked bag, I grabbed a late lunch at a restaurant at the airport before taking an uber into the city. I checked into my hotel, fully unpacked, and then went to my absolute favorite mani/pedi place, were they cleaned up my hands and feet and made me feel ready to seize a week of girlbossing in the city of sin. After that was done, I came back to my hotel, took a much needed twenty-minute nap, put on fresh clothes, and rendezvoused for some much-needed family time.

Adit (no one calls him the cat), Chandlord, Claude and I met up at True Laurel for drinks (aka cacktales), and my boulevardier went a long way toward restoring me after my travels. Then we had dinner at Flour + Water, which has gotten v. good for gluten free. The four of us now arrange our seating by our joint dietary preferences - Claude and I avoid gluten and eat meat to compensate, while Adit and Chandlord are veg only but eat as much gluten as possible. We split all the veg/gluten free salads on the menus, and then Claude and I split an excellent gf pasta + some salmon. This might be my new fave gf pasta in the city, which is v exciting since a place called Flour + Water is not typically welcoming of our gf sensitivities.

We also (of course) ordered a bottle of wine + another couple of glasses after. This is sedate compared to the outings of our twenties and thirties, but still felt like going big given our advanced ages. We spent most of dinner playing a game we dubbed ‘Vibe Check’ - the person in the hotseat had to pick a number between 1-10, where 1 is worst and 10 is best. The other three then went around and asked category questions - e.g., if someone asked ‘Biblical characters’ (as Claude did of me), then the main person had to name something within that category that matched the number/ranking they were thinking of.

As it turns out, we know each other quite well - they got that I had picked a 4 (for reference: my biblical characters was Paul bc I acknowledge his role in promoting the church and writing great letters, but do not appreciate his misogyny or how judgy he was after his Damascus conversion - and Claude guessed exactly how I felt; my other answers were all similarly mid), and for the rest of our rounds we all got within 1 of the person’s number. As games go it was quite fun and not nearly as dangerous as games involving shots, so I would 100% recommend.

Sssanyway, after we finished dinner (with an excellent chocolate budino), we walked a few blocks to meet up with Michael, who is friends with Chandlord and Claude. We hung out in his lobby with him and his partner, and drank some truly atrocious canned Paloma drink (lukewarm 52-proof tequila and grapefruit is really not good, but I drank it anyway because I’m polite and also have no boundaries). We chatted about a variety of topics related to book bindings, house renovations, SF neighborhoods, etc., and it was all generally delightful.

Adit and Chandlord then went with Michael to the Stud (and later to Grubstake, which I’m very sad to have missed, but I couldn’t have survived until 1:30am PT / 3:30am CT after waking up at 5am CT). I walked Claudia back to her car, grabbed an uber from there, and then came to my hotel and fell asleep with the lights on because I was too tired to think.

Today was a great recovery day though. I woke up fairly early, grabbed coffee downstairs, and then chilled and ordered room service breakfast. I also ran over to Chandlord’s to get a set of keys from her - SF hotels are cheap this weekend but out of control this week, so I’m checking out tomorrow and staying with her. Then I came back to my hotel, showered, and walked to the Embarcadero…

…where I had lunch (don’t call it brunch) with John and Jess at Coqueta. I was in the mood for tapas and paella, which I never get in ye olde Iowa, and Coqueta delivered. My salt air margarita was perfect, and the paella was fantastic - and the patatas bravas (fried potatoes if you’re Iowan) were so good that we got a second order. It’s warm in the city right now, so we sat outside, and we people-watched and water-watched and caught up on life in general, and it was all a delight.

After we parted ways, I did basically nothing for a couple of hours (and finally gave up and took a proper nap). Then I grabbed a chai from the Yemeni coffee shop down the street, came back to my room, and wrote for a couple of hours. Eventually I realized I was finally hungry again, so I grabbed a burger and a glass of wine from the hotel bar. And now, I need to start unwinding so that I can hit the work slog hard tomorrow - goodnight!

up on a hill across the blue lake

I had a v. nice day, even if it did involve going to the dirty east bay. It helped that I got a lot of sleep last night and so was starting to feel normal again - and I also wrote for an hour or so this morning, which felt great. Then, I walked down Post Street to a rental car place; while my current abode in Japantown is still quite nice and the neighborhood here is generally good, it seems that the Tenderloin is encroaching on the eastern part of Post. Post was always just a little sketch, but I walked it all the time from Lower Nob Hill to the SF office (or Union Square and the mall) back when I lived at Chandlord's place. I would still walk it today, but it felt grimier. So far my impression of SF has been mostly positive (it's definitely livelier than it was during any visit I've made during the pandemic), but I'll be curious to see how the rest of the week shakes out.

sssanyway, I picked up a rental car and immediately remembered how to drive in the city, which is a good thing since it's a next-level mess of one-way streets and ill-enforced traffic laws. I drove across the bay to Oakland, where I was 40mins early for my lunch (unheard of), so I sat in my car and wrote. Then, I met up with Victor for lunch, which was a real blast from the past - I'm guessing it's been well over a decade since we last saw each other. He was in my freshman dorm at Stanford, and we kept in touch for several years after college - but he and his wife moved away at some point, and we fell out of touch. We reconnected via LinkedIn recently, though, and decided to get together since I was going to be here. It was really wonderful to see him - and a little strange to pick up with someone again after fifteen years, but it seems to be one of my skills.

After we had lunch, I drove to Berkeley and wrote for another hour at a way-too-cool-for-me coffee shop (the building felt like it was just a hallway and everyone was sitting on the floor because there were no chairs (although there were posh cushions for the floor), and grabbed a table outside that was on a fairly steep hill). Eventually, John joined me, and we caught up for forty-five minutes or so. He was at my party with Jess on Saturday, but we hadn't really chatted, so it was nice to say hi.

Then I drove back to the evil city, and was pleasantly surprised that traffic wasn't a nightmare. When I got here, I wrote for just a bit more and then walked over to The Progress to meet up with Claude. We spent a couple of hours eating a variety of tasty things that I absolutely can't get in Iowa, and we also went deep on each other's lives. I may have convinced her to come visit me in Iowa, especially by offering up [censored]'s services to let her son play with a tractor or excavator, which would probably be the best thing to ever happen to that kid.

After we parted ways, I walked back to my hotel and met up with Chandlord, who was here for a drink with one of her coworkers who is also staying here. So, we chatted for a bit (and I referenced my blog to settle a dispute, which the coworker was in awe of). And now, I need to sleep - goodnight!

wild cards, men from mars, dressed in stars and stripes

I'm still recovering from yesterday's festivities, but my recovery wasn't too bad today - my post last night was abbreviated because it was 2:30am (4:30am in Iowa) and I was so tired that I was starting to type gibberish, but I actually wasn't that intoxicated from the party. So, other than the fact that I slept like garbage last night, which gave me a headache, I felt mostly fine.

Yesterday was fantastic, though. I ran some errands in the morning (to buy decor for the party) and then had lunch with Chandlord. We went to a ramen place near my hotel, where I ordered a pork dish with rice because I can't eat ramen - it was pretty tasty, and I'm glad I got that instead of the spice that made Chandlord weep silently while she was eating her food. What a fun and interesting experience!

Then, I parted ways with Chandlord and took an uber to the Marina and back to pick up a bunch of cupcakes. I did a bit of work, took a brief nap, and then took care of some party stuff. Jess showed up at my hotel so that she could get ready, since she was already in SF for something earlier in the day, and I roped her into helping me with some decor elements. We shared an uber to the party venue, and she very kindly helped me set up the space. I'm very grateful that she was able to help, since I would not have had time to do everything myself!

Eventually, the party started, and it was a total riot. People were mostly on time and also mostly took it as an opportunity to dress up after years of no parties. The food and drinks were excellent. And I saw a total cross-section of all the major phases of my California life - Stanford people (freshman year and senior year), early coworkers, writing friends, and some connections between the groups. I'm used to seeing these people in separate / smaller gatherings, but it was really fun to see everyone in more of a party mode.

Of course, some ridiculous tings happened. Julie kept insisting on doing shots, but since the bar wasn't actually doing shots, they just poured cocktails into shot glasses - which was much tastier and safer for my liver. We discovered that Jane has a bunch of old photos stored on SmugMug, which I didn't even realize was still in business. John gave me (and everyone else) a Magic card for "The Swamp," which seemed appropriate. Walter came on his own actual birthday, which was great (and I hadn't seen him in forever, so I was glad he and his wife made it). I indulged Chris, Adit, and John, in playing "All the Way Up to Heaven" on the epic playlist. And we had an abbreviated candle ceremony in which Adit read a brief but v. dirty scene from one of my books (and other people gave other, more sincere, toasts), which will live in my heart for a long time.

So we hung out for about four hours, and people slowly trickled out at the end. The final nine went to Last Rites, which was around the block...but Adit and I made the mistake of ordering three punchbowls for nine (reasonable) and then discovering that really, only four or five people were drinking (not reasonable). I didn't need a punchbowl after the cocktails at the party, but I persevered, and Adit and I finished our punch bowl even though we had to give up on the other two. And the final group (Julie, Tom, Rachel, Shari, Chandlord, Adit, and I) was a very solid final group.

I don't think I'll have a birthday party again for a long time - but I have to say that this one lived up to my expectations, and I was thoroughly delighted by it. Happily, I have some time to catch up with poeple more quietly the next few days, but as parties go, this one was pretty great.

So I got back to my hotel around two last night, went to bed, and slept v. v. fitfully. Today, I mostly took it easy - I ate breakfast at the hotel, did some work / writing, ordered a takeout sandwich from Ike's (I do love their sandwiches), took a nap, etc. Then, I walked down to Beretta (on Divis) to meet up with Katrina - she wasn't able to come to the party last night, so it was great to see her. We caught up for three hours over pizza and squid ink risotto, and it was v. tasty (and wonderful).

And now, I really need to sleep - goodnight!

i don't wanna rain on your crazy parade, buddy

Today is essentially my last day in the city of sin, and while my body will be happy to get back to avoiding gluten and getting eight hours of sleep, my heart is happy that I made the trip here.

I woke up this morning in Tracy, and Jen, Joann, Jane, and I finished our sleepover with breakfast, which was basically last night's leftover dinner. We had enough tater tot casserole left for all of us, and we put a fried egg on top of each serving, which made it a total winner. I'm tempted to experiment with making a breakfast tater tot casserole (with sausage and maybe some peppers instead of the carrots/onions), but we'll see what I discover. We also had leftover apricot salad, which is also a nice breakfast treat. So, all in all, my attempt to bring Midwestern culinary delights to California was a success.

Eventually, I left Tracy (while the rest of them stayed and continued hanging out) to drive to Alameda to see Claudia. Claude's mom was visiting, so we had a nice chat - I hadn't seen her since Claudia's wedding, but it was great to see that she's doing well. She brought tamales with her, which were delish. And I took some leftover jello to Claudia and her son Téo - Téo wasn't really interested in lunch since he'd already eaten, but he had a small scoop of jello and then demanded three more scoops of jello with a crazy gleam in his eyes.

So, we had to take him to the park to burn off a bunch of sugar. Claudia and I talked while watching him play in a sand pit, and it was actually pretty delightful - the weather was nice, Claudia and I were overdue for a chat, and Téo (who turns three soon) is perhaps the cutest child in the history of children (no offense to my other friends' children). It was a really nice afternoon, so hopefully we'll get a chance to do it again sometime soon.

Then, I parted ways with them and drove to Berkeley to see John and Jess. I did not see their kid, so I have no report about Ian since they dropped him at his grandparents' place. But I'm happy to report that John and Jess are doing well. We went to Saul's Deli, which is where we always go for breakfast, and I was surprised to see that it's open for dinner and also serves surprisingly fancy (and inappropriately named) cocktails. So we had latkes, and I had a sandwich with roast beef / harissa / horseradish / swiss that was excellent, and John and I each had a cocktail and split another while Jess enjoyed her fancy healthier beverage choice.

And then, I parted ways with them, drove back to the city of sin, and met up with Chandlord. We were supposed to grab a drink, but instead we stayed in - and I somehow, some way, tricked her into watching SAHARA (and paying to rent it). This is basically the opposite of doing something nice for someone who hosted you. I, of course, still love it, but Chandlord seemed rather displeased with a variety of plot holes that I thought she made much too big a deal of. C'est la vie, I guess.

And now, I need to sleep so that I can pack up tomorrow - I'm moving to an airport hotel tomorrow night and doing some exploration of the south bay before that, so I want to get out of the city in good time. Goodnight!

i can still make the whole place shimmer

I had a v. lowkey day in the city of sin - in fact, there was barely any sinning, which seems like a waste. I got up, did some various tings, did some stretching, and treated myself to lunch at MyMy. I went there last week too, but I liked what I ordered today much better - their chorizo scrambled eggs with corn tortillas were exactly what I wanted, even if my body is starting to beg me for some water or lettuce or something.

Then, in an effort to stay out of the house (due to construction noise), I wandered amongst coffee shops. The first one was v. tasty but not conducive to working. The second one was Saint Frank, on Polk Street, which is one of my old haunts from when I used to live here. Kathia and I used to meet in their upstairs area at 6:30 or 7am before I would get on a shuttle to Mountain View - but now their upstairs area is closed, and Kathia is gone, and I no longer work for the man, so all of that has changed completely. However, I did get some good work done, and their iced latte was as good as I remembered, so that was a bittersweet delight.

Then, I wandered down Polk Street and stopped in at Amelie for a quiet glass of rosé and some more writing. I had a major breakthrough (I think) in the story while I was sitting there, so I'll take it. After I wrapped that up, I grabbed dinner at a Thai place, which was v. tasty. And then I came back to Chandlord's, curled up in my nest, and took a nap. Eventually, Chandlord showed up - we had discussed going out for a drink, but instead we hung out in her house and talked for a couple of hours.

And now, I need to sleep - I have some relocation plans for tomorrow, which means I need to get up and get organized. Goodnight!

the end is nigh

As an experiment, I asked Bard (Google's new AI chatbot, which released to early access today) to write my blog post for the day. Three seconds after I prompted it, it gave me this:

I woke up this morning to the sound of rain hitting the windows of my room at the San Francisco Fairmont. The weather was terrible, but I was determined to make the most of my day. I started by writing several pages of my novel. I was really getting into the story, and I was excited to see where it would take me.

After a few hours of writing, I took a break and went to the Fairmont bar. I ordered a glass of rosé and sat by the window, watching the rain fall. It was a beautiful sight, and it made me feel relaxed and peaceful.

After a while, I decided to go out for dinner. I met Vidya, Julie, and Deano at a restaurant in the Marina District. We had a great time catching up and talking about our lives. The food was delicious, and the company was even better.

Even though the weather was bad, I had a great day. I got a lot of work done on my novel, I relaxed and enjoyed a glass of rosé, and I spent time with some great friends. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

The weather in San Francisco today was very bad. It was raining heavily, and the wind was blowing very strong. The temperature was also very cold. I was glad that I was able to stay inside and stay warm.

All in all....valiant effort, Bard, especially since I just told it to "Write a blog post of approximately 200 words that captures what I did today. It should include that I stayed at the San Francisco Fairmont, wrote several pages of my novel, had some rosé at the Fairmont bar, and had dinner with Vidya, Julie, and Deano. It should also mention how bad the weather was in San Francisco today."

Needless to say, I'm increasingly convinced that AI is about to drive us over a job cliff in the next 6-24 months, and it's going to be like the farm crisis (in that whole industries are going to be decimated), but everywhere all at once. So I really need to write this book asap before the end arrives.

sssanyway, Bard told you most of what you need to know. I did wake up and write, although I also procrastinated and drank room service coffee (Bard thinks I'm more productive than I am). I had lunch and did some more writing, then messed around, took a nap, and availed myself of my room until my late checkout at 4pm. Then I sat in the bar and had a glass of rosé and wrote some more. All in all it was a v. good quick solo writing retreat, and I enjoyed it.

I did not, however, enjoy the weather, which is a total jhoke - downed trees everywhere (taking MUNI and power lines with them), ferry service canceled due to high winds/tides, big rig overturned on the Bay Bridge, etc., etc. We're in yet another atmospheric river system, and I had to walk to and from dinner in the rain. But it could be worse, so I guess I'll stop complaining.

After I finished at the Fairmont, I met up with Chandlord, and we walked to Julie and Deano's for dinner (they hosted; we did not go out, and they live in Russian Hill, not the Marina, but same same). We had a v. lovely evening of catching up and reminiscing, and Julie v. kindly made me gluten free pasta, so it was all great.

And now, I need to go to bed so that I can contemplate the end of humanity again tomorrow - goodnight!

it's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do

I had a v nice day in the city of sin, and I spent it mostly catching up with people I haven't seen in a million years. I felt surprisingly good when I woke up this morning (probably because I felt not-good at six and took a bunch of ibuprofen), and so I had no trouble make it down to the deep heart of Noe Valley to have breakfast with my friend Chris at Front Porch. I truly haven't seen Chris in forever - he was an old high school friend from a summer camp I went to for extreme nerds, and we stayed in touch our senior years (and several of the campers went to Mardi Gras with him, since he lived in New Orleans and apparently all of our parents had similarly strange judgment and sent us to Mardi Gras while we were underage). We caught up a couple of times as adults but never got into a regular hangout cadence. But I follow his wife on insta and she alluded to some health issues he's having, so I reached out, and we got together.

This was a delightful thing, even though it was a relatively quick breakfast - it was really nice to see him, and the restaurant happened to be New Orleans-themed, so it seemed appropriate. After we parted ways, I took an uber back to Chandlord's, where I rearranged my stuff, changed into sweats, and talked to my mom. Then, Chandlord came home from her own brunch and we had a v lazy Sunday watching a movie - I conned her into watching THE LOST CITY, which I still enjoy even though she pointed out that it's basically SAHARA, which cost me a lot of friends over the years due to my staunch defense of its artistic merits.

After that, we parted ways - I spent tonight hanging out with Jenni and Jesse, whom I also haven't seen in ages (although much more recently than Chris). They invited me to spend the night at their house, which is a total delight - and Jesse made possibly the best cheeseburger I've ever had, which is a real shocker since it tasted restaurant-style but I watched him make it and there was no witchcraft involved. While he was cooking, and then while he was watching basketball, Jenni and I caught up on tons of life stuff and had most of two bottles of wine (we did share with Jesse because we're not totally selfish). It's been great to hang out with her and v. overdue, so I'm glad my trip this time is relaxed enough to let me move around and spend some quality time with people.

I also appreciate that they served dinner at six and we were all ready to go to bed before ten, which is what I v. desperately need. So, I'm going to unwind and go to bed and sleep as late as humanly possible - goodnight!

marry me juliet you'll never have to be alone

I had an excellent day in the city of sin. I woke up earlier than I wanted to so that I could walk to the Financial District - my old hair stylist from a lifetime ago fit me in on her day off, and I'm delighted that I got to see her and also got a much-needed hair cut. We caught up on many topics (life, covid, dating guys who were on the Bachelorette), and it was an excellent way to start my day.

Then, on a whim, I caught an uber to Hayes Valley, where I had brunch, did some window shopping, and then stopped in for a glass of rosé and some writing time at Arbor. This turned into extra rosé because the server mysteriously and miraculously said 'the manager said to top you off' and poured me almost a full glass when my glass was empty. I don't know what it is about my face, but I'm glad that my magical free alcohol power still seems to be in full force. Then I ordered another glass just because, as well as some curly fries (also just because) and they gave me a friends and family discount, so I'm v. disposed to think kindly of them going forward.

More importantly, I got several good pages of writing done, and I'm excited about that. Then I came back to Chandlord's and helped her get ready for tonight (while also napping). She had a bunch of people over for dinner - the main event, in my opinion, was Claudia, but Chandlord's friends are pretty entertaining. There was a girl who also writes romance (although hers sounds smuttier than mine), and a bunch of hilarious guys, and some Germans, and various groups of the Indian subcontinent, and a v. strange guy from Texas (definitely the strangest guy in attendance). Our conversation alternated strangely between Malala, ChatGPT, camels, and Tennessee motels, and we ended fairly convinced that AI is going to destroy us sooner rather than later. But this was all excellent grist for the book mill, so hopefully I can write this book before the end.

And now, I really need to sleep so I can pursue additional plans tomorrow - goodnight!

don't ever compare me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced

I had a lovely day, and it was definitely better than I deserved after last night's shenanigans. I woke up this morning not feeling #inittowinit for obvious reasons (see: several glasses of sauvignon blanc), but I rallied and went to Another Cafe to write for awhile. This was one of my favorite haunts back in the day, and it's comfortingly similar to how it used to be - the upper mezzanine is perfectly quiet in the morning, and it was a good place to force myself back into the story after an extended hiatus.

After that, I came back to Chandlord's, got ready, and walked over to my old nail salon, with a stop for a quick Korean spicy pork and rice bowl (perfection). The ladies at the salon waxed my brows and gave me a mani/pedi, thus turning me into a better groomed version of myself. It was good to see them all, and even better to get my nails looking spiffy, so I'm glad I was able to get in today before my social plans begin in earnest.

Then I came back to Chandlord's again, did some laundry, took a nap, etc. Eventually, I left to rendezvous with her (eventually), but I was feeling like I needed to write some more, so I ducked into a strange little bar on top of the Stockton tunnel to write in the relative quiet of their establishment. I nursed a boulevardier for as long as I could, but right after I ordered my second (having already been there over an hour), the bartender gave me a free shot because the people hanging out at the other end of the bar were all getting a free shot and he decided to include me despite the fact that I was entirely antisocial. So, my second drink turned into a second drink + a shot of fernet, which is really not what I wanted, but I went along with it because that's what happens with me and bartenders and free alcohol.

However, it was all worth it because I got some really excellent writing done at the bar, and I hope to continue that tomorrow. I left the last half of my second boulevardier at the bar and met up with Chandlord, where I was dismayed to discover that she had ordered me an old fashioned (luckily, it was also free), and I said farewell to one of her coworkers (since it was a farewell party, although I had never met the guy).

Eventually, we escaped, and we tried to meet up with Adit, but it turned into a bit of a jhoke and we ended up at a v. weird restaurant that has a name like a taqueria and a menu on the door that promises pupusas, but instead they serve steak and pasta. And the steak is suspiciously cheap for SF - I had a thin-cut ribeye for $18, and it was good enough that it should have been more than that here. So maybe it's a front for something else, idk.

Adit did show up just in time to get some yogurt for dessert, and we talked until they closed, and then Adit drove me and Chandlord home. And now I need to sleep since I suddenly have three meal plans + a lot of writing to get done tomorrow - goodnight!

she's got a heart of gold, she'd never let me down

I have successfully arrived in San Francisco, which I am mildly surprised by - the weather here has been atrocious, and earlier in the day there were dozens of canceled flights and lots of long delays. So, I proceeded with my day operating under the lurking suspicion that I would be spending the night in Seattle. I still got up (slightly painfully), showered, packed, and checked out, and I still went to the airport at the right time (which was a good thing), but it doesn't feel quite real that I made it.

Today was really nice, though - I had a leisurely morning, and then I met up with Ritu to look at tile (for her house, not mine, although it gave me some remodel PTSD) and then I v. delicious lunch at an excellent Italian place across the street from my hotel. I have a strong urge to recreate the salad that they made, and the gluten free pasta was perfect, so it was a good way to recover from yesterday's shenanigans. It was also a good way to hang out with Ritu - it's never long enough, but it was a lovely visit.

Then, she went to pick up her daughter and I had an iced coffee at my hotel before going to the airport. The travel was as uneventful as it could be, which was v. welcome, and I slept most of the flight. Then, I came to Chandlord's, since she is graciously hosting me while I'm here. She let me in and we caught up briefly, but it's a work night for her and I want to get up tomorrow and get back into the writing zone, so we said goodnight early. And now I'll do the same to you - goodnight!

never forget

I had an excellent birthday in the city of sin. Despite last night's blog post ending abruptly, I was actually pretty sedate yesterday - I guess we're all growing up, or something. After seeing Jess yesterday afternoon, I came back to my hotel, freshened up briefly, and then went to ABV for a pre-dinner drink. ABV was one of my old haunts in my youth, and it's still got it - I had a Mumbai Mule that was quite tasty. Claudia and Sam joined for the pre-dinner drink, which was a nice way to get the party started. 

Then we walked to Burma Love, which I chose specifically because I now live hundreds of miles from the nearest Burmese restaurant. We met up with Adit, Priyanka, Chandlord, and John, and the seven of us had a decadent and delicious dinner. It of course devolved into the usual shenanigans (i.e. everyone got to ask me a question; we wanted to do a candle ceremony, but there were no candles, and the birthday dessert that was brought out to me had a rather dangerous sparkler in it instead of candles). Then we adjourned to Elixir, where we drank alcoholic slushies (mountain = irish coffee; beach = spicy margarita) and felt like we were going to get run over in our parklet every time the MUNI went by. I must say, I like the proliferation of parklets (booths outside in former parking spots, created tanks to covid), but this particular parklet felt like we were going to die (especially after John and I accidentally broke the plastic divider, ha).

Side note: San Francisco feels like it's finally coming back to life. The handful of trips I've taken here since the pandemic have been strange and sad and apocalyptic, since no one was out and everything was closing early. But Friday, Saturday, and today were all busy and bustling and wonderful. The first two bars we tried to go to before Elixir were either too noisy or had lines out the door and around the block; Friday was also surprisingly busy and back to normal. It's too early to say what the future holds, but this is closer to the San Francisco I remember, and my heart was happy to feel it.

After Elixir, the final crew (me, Chandlord, the cat, and Dirty John) went to the Hideout and had a final cocktail while ensconced upstairs. Then it was last call, and we got overly-expensive ubers to get ourselves out of the Mission. As usual, family dinner was a success, and as usual, I remain happy/surprised/delighted/confused that I've been friends with most of these people for twenty-three years and counting.

So, this morning was better than it could have been - last night's alcohol consumption was pretty relaxed, and my physical health this morning was wrecked more by lack of sleep than by tequila. So, I was lazy this morning before eventually rallying to have brunch with Chandlord, since we haven't had 1:1 time in ages. We went to True Laurel, which was incredible (I've had some great meals this weekend, and Burma Love and Beretta held their own, but this may have been the best) - I had a fantastic deconstructed pork fried rice that I'll probably dream about. We also got to catch up on work and life in ways that are harder in big groups, which was much overdue. And I got to see Chandlord's remodeled bathroom, which gave me some ideas...

Then I came back to my hotel, took a long nap, and talked to my parents. And then I had a late afternoon snack with Katrina, who came to Japantown for me - I had ended our hangout Friday rather abruptly, so we continued the convo today. We hung out in one of the pedestrian areas of Japantown, then had some shishito peppers and seaweed salad (for her) and buns with pork and sweet/sour chicken (for me), and it was v. lovely.

Then, I spent approx ten minutes switching out of sweats into a dress and also putting on eyeshadow, and then I met up with Veronica for dinner at Gardenias. Today was v. much a #girlsdayout since I purposefully chose to hang out with some of my favorite girlfriends, and dinner was exactly what I need. V and I hung out over dinner, then came back to the Kabuki for one last drink before she headed home. And then I switched back into sweats, came back to the bar, and nursed a final ginger beer while writing this.

And now, my birthday is nearing its close - but it's the best one I've had in quite some time, and I'm happy that I got to spend it here. And now, I should sleep - goodnight!

like a videotape, it's just a memory slipping away

I'm not ready for the weekend to be over, but I suppose that's a common human sentiment. Today was lovely, all in all - I didn't get enough sleep last night because I stayed up until one finishing my book, but I spent the morning puttering around the house, cleaning, drinking coffee, etc. At some point, I did some research into couches / sectionals, since [censored] will no longer be my buddy if I don't replace the horrible sectional that Marvin left behind and that is currently our frenemy in my Iowa house (frenemy because it's better than having no couch at all, but also maybe I would prefer to sit on a beanbag because it would be equally impossible to get out of and also I would not find leftover candy wrappers of Marvin's whenever I move).

Eventually, I spent some quality time catching up with my parents, who were doing well (although there is much cleanup to do after the tornado). Then, I picked up Chandlord near Union Station - she was in town for the weekend with some coworkers, but they departed this afternoon so that I could have her all to myself. We went to Bookbar and had coffee on the back patio, and then we walked up and down Tennyson (not as exciting as San Francisco, but also not as much visible drug use), and then had dinner at Mazevo. I've ordered takeout from there during the pandemic, but it was my first time eating at the restaurant, and it was a delight.

Then, Chandlord and I adjourned to my house and watched some tv (a surprisingly uninspiring episode of Queer Eye, followed by a couple of episodes of 30 Rock). And now I need to sleep if I'm going to get up in time to bid Chandlord farewell before work - goodnight!

oh, this is how it starts, lightning strikes the heart

I'm back in Denver and brutally tired, but I had an excellent long weekend in the city of sin. Friday was particularly delightful - I spent an hour drinking coffee and journaling at Philz, and then I packed up all my stuff, checked out of my first hotel, and left my tings there while I took an uber out to Beach Chalet for lunch with Anne and Veronica. Barbara is out of town and Grace couldn't make it, so we were a smaller group than usual, but I was v. happy to see Anne and Veronica. I am reminded, as always, how much I miss my writer group in SF, even if we usually met at an uninspiring Starbucks in the peninsula instead of having a fancy lunch overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

After we parted ways, I went back to my hotel, grabbed my stuff, and took an uber to the Fairmont, where I checked in for wedding shenanigans. I had just enough time to get ready and put on my outfit before it was time to head out - I shared an uber with Lauren (aka Subz) and Nathan to the Friday evening party, where I met Adit (some people call him the cat), who was my date for the night. I wore the v. fancy lehenga that I bought in Denver last month, and I loved it - it was v. princessy, which is not usually a look I go for when I'm a wedding guest, but it was great.

The first night was dry, which was less than ideal, especially since I had to give a toast. However, Terry's dad snuck in approx 100 airplane-sized bottles of vodka, so I was able to have a vodka and diet coke to get me ready to go. Also, the food was really excellent and the venue was nice, so all in all it was good. My toast was also great, if I do say so myself, so it felt like a rousing evening.

After the Friday event was over, Adit and I went back to the Fairmont and rendezvoused with Chandlord. We were going to go to the Tonga Room, but it was stupidly closed early, so I changed clothes and we ventured into the Tenderloin. Our first drink was not great due to a potential bartending mishap, but then we went to Zombie Village and had a couple of punchbowls while holed up in a booth and talking about Ritu's nephew (our favorite topic of conversation). And when we were done, I took an uber approx five blocks because I didn't feel like walking up Nob Hill at 2am.

The next day, I had room service breakfast (my favorite) and then went downtown to quickly buy a new pair of shoes, since my Friday shoes had created blisters and I didn't have any other options. That errand was easily accomplished, but getting back was a pain - the St Patricks Day parade was happening all along Market, which completely screwed up traffic, and so I ended up walking up Nob Hill with my shoes. This was not what my blistered feet wanted, but I made it back, took a shower, and took a nap. Then, Subz came to my room so we could get ready together - she had arranged some people to do our hair + her makeup, which was super fun. Unfortunately, the wedding was so windy that my updo didn't look as awesome as it did in the first thirty minutes of its life, but it was still great to get some girl time with Lauren.

Then we went to the wedding, which was at Cavallo Point in Sausalito. The vow renewal was outdoors, and since it's San Francisco, that meant it was totally freezing - I was glad I had decided to prioritize comfort over fashion and brough my down puffer, because I needed it. However, the Golden Gate Bridge made for a gorgeous backdrop, and Terry and Haseeb's vows (a vow renewal, since they got married at City Hall as NYC was shutting down two years ago) were beautiful.

The rest of the night was super fun - lovely cocktail hour followed by dinner, then lots more toasts, and then dancing. Eventually we all headed back to SF, and I ended up going out with most of Terry's siblings + Lisa (an old Stanford friend) until whatever bar we went to shut down. And then the time changed as I got back to my hotel, so suddenly it was three a.m. and I was ready to collapse.

Today was smooth, even though I didn't get nearly enough sleep - I got up, ate breakfast, packed, showered, etc. and made it to the airport with just the right amount of time. Getting to Denver was easy (albeit turbulent), and my house is still here, and I had takeout sushi to celebrate being home. And now, I desperately need to sleep - goodnight!

muscle to muscle and toe to toe

I had a pretty good day today - it was the first day where I didn't feel like I had to take a nap, although I do feel like I need to go to bed early. I wrote for a bit before work, which was great, and I survived all of my meetings unscathed. And when I was done with meetings, I probably should have done house stuff or packing stuff to prep for going back to ye olde Iowa this weekend...but instead I made spaghetti all'amatriciana (one of my favorite fast-ish weeknight suppers - cook bacon, red onion, garlic, and red pepper flakes, add some tomato sauce, and toss with spaghetti). It was delicious, and also made me want to go to Italy.

Instead of going to Italy, I spent the rest of the evening torturing myself by reading the first couple of chapters of DIRT - it's a memoir by a guy who moved his family to Lyon so he could learn French cooking. So far so good - his style is easy (he's a writer/journalist by trade, not a chef, so of course the writing is easy) and I'm completely ravenously desperate to go to Europe. I also tortured myself by texting with my family time group; Jess had sent an article yesterday about how all the pandemic group chats are dead, which is quite unfortunately not true of ours, since it mostly consists of unwelcome reminiscences (Adit reminded me tonight that I was in his bottom 8 - aka the least cool people in our dorm), insults (see the aforementioned), and too much discussion of Ritu Rani's nephew the tiktok influencer. But at least I'll be in SF in a month, which is not Europe but is also better than nothing.

And now I need to sleep so that I can power through some work tomorrow and then also power through some house stuff and then also watch some Olympics (YAY) - goodnight!

everyone's a winner, we're making our fame

I should not have stayed up to work until 11:30, but that's the way it goes right now. Today was a brutal meeting slog (starting at 8:30, ending at 5:30, with two 30min breaks), but I survived (thanks to a poke bowl delivery). Then I took a break in the evening - I ate dinner, did some laundry, finally planted my last plants that I bought a couple of weeks ago, read twitter, and gave myself a fresh gel manicure. So the work didn't pick up again until 9:30, and then I couldn't help myself in terms of what I absolutely had to get done.

But now I can go to bed, push hard through tomorrow's similarly heavy meeting schedule, have some fun, and then coast through Friday before the weekend begins in earnest.

And now, before I go to bed, I shall document that Adit, Ritu, Chandlord, Claude, and Jess had dinner in Oakland (jhokeland) at Arthur Mac's last night. They sent me a picture this morning wondering if it even happened if it wasn't documented on my blog - so voila, it's now part of posterity. And I am jealous, but my time in San Francisco is coming eventually. Goodnight!

let's get it started in here

Well, I am certainly awake later than I had planned. Today was pretty productive, from what I remember - I made some oatmeal for the week, journaled, showered, etc. and then talked to Veronica for an hour, which was very much overdue. She was a delight, as usual, and I feel v. grateful to have writer friends who know exactly what a struggle the writing can be sometimes.

Then I spent the afternoon taking care of tings around the house, including another attempt at the harissa-rubbed pork shoulder that I made last weekend. Last weekend's effort was a disaster that was so bad that I threw out four pounds of pork, which is really just a total tragedy. But I was determined to try again. So, I made the rub and put the pork in the oven around one. Then I messed around, did some laundry, and did a couple of hours of day job work to make tomorrow just a little more bearable.

Eventually, the pork was at the right temperature (part of what I didn't like of the original recipe was that she gave a time for cooking it, not a temperature to cook it to, which is really not a good idea when it comes to big chunks of pork). So I let it rest and did some more work, and then cranked up the oven heat, threw some beans in with the pork, and finished it off. The end result was much better than last week - it was actually good, and while I think I could still perfect the technique, I was happy with how it turned out.

Then, as supper ended, I poured a glass of wine....and accidentally watched the Oprah/Harry/Meghan interview twice. I say accidentally because I very much intended to watch it once tonight (I had set a recording and also told myself that if I finished work I could watch it undistracted). But then Adit texted about a live watch as a family, and they were an hour behind me (two hours, actually, since the timezone is an hour back but then the broadcast schedule is even later). So I finished my watch and immediately hopped onto a zoom to watch with Adit / Chandlord / Riturani.

I had a lot of thoughts, but I'm too tired to recap here - basically it's just a sad situation and it's kind of shocking that the royal family (esp Charles) doesn't seem to have learned any lessons in the past forty years. Not so shocking that the palace is full of racist, hidebound courtiers - but shocking that the family didn't do more to figure this situation out. Anyway, it was v. interesting to watch, and it was entertaining to watch it a second time with the family (I did my nails while watching the second time, so at least I have something to show for it).

After the interview was over, we debriefed (and Priyanka joined)...and now it's after midnight here and I desperately need to sleep. Goodnight!

all my favorite songs are slow and sad

I'm back in Denver, after the v. sad realization that the only states I've been in in almost a year are Colorado, Iowa, and Nebraska. Colorado and Iowa are great, but I hate driving across Nebraska (and yet it continues to be my destiny). This is the one-year anniversary of my last week in California, and it feels like a lifetime ago....

sssanyway. Things seemed to be going well when I said my farewells to my parents this morning, so hopefully my dad stays on the mend. I left them with the threat that if I have to come back to cook for them, I'm cooking garbanzo beans, so hopefully that's some motivation. After I packed up my car and ate some breakfast and said goodbye to my parents, I hit the road - the drive is officially ten hours and twenty minutes, but I think I lost fifteen minutes because I stopped four times, so it was more like ten hours and thirty-five minutes. Usually I speed just enough to almost keep up the pace, but still, I feel like I made pretty good time.

The drive grows ever more boring since there is nothing new to see, but I had a long chat with [censored], so that helped. I also listened to an audiobook called CHATTER by Ethan Kross - it's about our internal monologues and how to reshape them (which is key, since my internal monologue veers mostly between arguing with coworkers + being worried about not writing enough + tallying up my quarantine stockpiles). It was really interesting and sort of made me wish I'd gone into neuroscience after undergrad - and it was a good audiobook to listen to while drowning out my internal monologue on the drive.

When I got home, I dragged most of my stuff inside, ordered Indian takeout, and took a quick shower. Then I had a family dinner zoom - we hadn't talked in weeks, so when John suggested a zoom tonight, we all showed up. Priyanka didn't join, and Sam was offscreen, but otherwise it was a full quorum: Claudia (aka Santy), Chandlord (aka Vidya), John and Jess, Adit wearing a v. fashionable sweatshirt, and Ritu and Bill (+ a very creepy doll that Bill left on screen as a placeholder before they could actually join). We had much to discuss, which was accomplished, and we also went a little too deep on discussions of influencers and SPACs and how to wipe off a cake.

And now, I'm completely wiped out and need to sleep since I have to work tomorrow - goodnight!

turning saints into the sea

I got a flurry of hits on my blog tonight for the search term "now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling dekalb", which is a joke I made for myself as the title of a post during the election in November - and I wish I would have tweeted that shit because I saw someone tweet it tonight and they got many tens of thousands of likes. Also, I hate everything I just said about posting it on twitter for the likes.

sssanyway. Today was full of existential dread, but I didn't feel too bad about being unenthused and unproductive because every person I talked to at work felt similarly. Tomorrow is soon enough to rally and get caught up. I did, however, write for an hour before work and thirty minutes after, and that is a feat I very much hope to accomplish again tomorrow. I also made some brussels sprouts, roasted some sweet potatoes, and made a chipotle/maple/orange butter from my new Barefoot Contessa cookbook to go on the sweet potatoes - it was pretty tasty and a good way to add some interest to sweet potatoes. And any 'added interest' to anything in my life right now is a good thing - I risk slipping into deep, soul-crushing boredom while being stuck at home, so fancy butter is at least something.

While I was cooking that stuff, I had a phone conversation with Chandlord, who is just as bored as I am. Then I ate those tasty things with some of the pulled pork I made yesterday, and it was a delightful dinner. After that, I made the mistake of turning on election results and spending too much time going down rabbit holes, but I rallied, turned off the tv, and spent some quality time with my planner.

And now I need to go to sleep if I want to write tomorrow - goodnight!

and now my problems got problems of their own 'cause they're growing up

I had a really delightful Thanksgiving, which might not have been expected given that I didn't go anywhere or see anyone. But I definitely made the most of it. I slept in a bit (but not too much), then spent the morning messing around the house, eating, showering, etc. I then spent the afternoon mostly putting up a Christmas tree - I've never put up a Christmas tree of my own volition before, although I was coerced into several by Terry. Given that 2020 is truly a weird year and it's important to find all the joy you can, I bought a tree - a relatively small (i.e. not very girthy, since I have no room for a large tree) prelit fake one, which looks pretty good despite being small and fake. I spent most of the afternoon 'trimming' it, as ye olde Victorians would say - since I'd never had a tree before, I also had to buy ornaments, but I'm pretty happy with the assortment that I acquired over the last few weeks. I also hung up some Waterford crystal ornaments that I bought in Ireland like fourteen years ago and never had a place to hang, and they look great. And I bought an ornament that is a merman, which is totally ridiculous and yet I love it.

In between trimming sessions, I took a walk while it was still daylight out and called my parents to wish them a happy thanksgiving. I also took a break to make dinner - I made a potato fennel gratin from Barefoot Contessa that turned out super good (although weirdly undersalted - I usually trust her recipes, but I should have trusted my instincts on this one and quadrupled the salt), along with pork chops and brussels sprouts. Not exactly a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but a very tasty one nonetheless. And I tested out a blended margarita with cranberry juice (and cute cranberries and mint on top as a garnish), which was a total winner.

After all that, and after finishing the tree, it was 8:45pm and I could have just curled up with a book and gone to bed. Instead, I kept the festivities going for the last few hours - we had a family dinner Thanksgiving, in which "family" = "my college friends". It happened by accident, since Jess meant to set up a zoom for her actual family and accidentally invited us instead, but when she caught the mistake we turned it into a real zoom for us anyway.

Of course, the conversation was utterly ridiculous. There were some shocking revelations, including Jess getting bitten by rat mites for the past few years (apparently rat mites are translucent and the size of a period, and apparently they had rats in their attic, and apparently an exterminator ran into the house with a handgun of the bb variety and shot a bunch of the rats). We also learned about raccoon latrines, which I did not know were a thing. We learned about a book called 'All Joy and No Fun', which Jess is reading about parenting. We learned about Adit's ongoing credit/debit card fiasco in a choose your own adventure where nothing actually happened. We learned that Adit's children want to sleep with Priyanka every night, but see sleeping with him as a punishment. We learned that Ritu was at work, but Bill still dialed in from bed, where he mostly judged who had the best joke (Vidya was in the lead for a poop joke, but Jess had a surprise zinger that I have now forgotten but that encouraged her to leave the call on top). We learned that Claudia's cat excels at killing mice, and Claudia's baby excels at crying. We learned that if you dial into Zoom from your phone, everyone on the call can tell when you switch away from the Zoom to look at something else online because your camera turns off. We learned that Priyanka has been engaging in retail therapy, which I sympathize with since that's my only therapy too. And anyway, since I am wearing a nap dress that I bought solely because I loved hers and succumbed to the instagram marketing, I can never judge anyone for their covid spending habits.

There were other shocking revelations, and other not-shocking revelations, and it was all quite entertaining. But now, Thanskgiving is over (although my gratitude is not!) and I need to sleep - goodnight!

summertime, and the living's [quarantined]

I'm falling asleep in my living room, so I need to take myself off to bed. Today was decent, all in all - I slept in a bit, then took care of a bunch of tidying-type projects around the house. My kitchen and laundry room are now tidier than they've been in quite some time, so that's a win.

I also talked to Chandlord briefly, and at some point I talked to my parents, and later I talked to my brother. I made myself a perfect BLT(+ A for avocado) for dinner, did some outdoor stuff, and then ended my night with a family dinner call with Chandlord, Adit, John and Jess, and Claude and Sam. Everyone is in a bit of a local minima, mostly due to fires...but otherwise people seem to be okay-ish, and it was good to hear people's voices.

And now I need to sleep - goodnight!