if she remembers, she hides it whenever we meet

I have relocated to a house down the block from where I spent the last ten days - which means no more access to the hot tub (sadness) but also no more responsibilities to a dog who sometimes adored me and sometimes wanted to eat my face. I spent the morning getting ready, packing, walking the dog, tidying up after myself, etc., and it's a good thing that I was efficient about this because the owners came back several hours earlier than I was expecting. But that was actually good for me - it meant that I could leave their place around noon without worrying that Lily would think I was abandoning her just like everyone else had.

So I said goodbye to the dog and dragged my stuff into my rental car, which I then drove halfway down the block so that I could unload it. I'm staying at John's parents' house since they're in Tahoe this week, which is super convenient for me (and v. kind of them). I unloaded my car when I got here, then promptly left to run some errands - this mostly involved going to Walnut Creek and window shopping (and shopping shopping), which was a fun way to spend the afternoon.

Then I came back here and spent an hour talking to my friend Maya, who is also a writer, and I am slowly seducing her into the idea of coming to Denver next year for a writing retreat. This is an easy sell because next year's RWA conference happens to be in Denver, and if I'm living there and have a guest room (obvi not a done deal yet, but my inclinations are in that direction), she could stay with me.

As soon as I was done with her, Jess called, and we rendezvoused and John and Jess's house for dinner. John made some vegetarian tacos (zucchini and onion) that were utterly delish, so I loaded up on that (which was really a perfect base for guac/salsa/cheese, which is what the people actually want). I also loaded up on boulevardiers and port...it's clear that I'm growing up since port is now a delightful sipping moment at the end of the evening rather than the disastrous cheap port debacles that Adit poured down my throat so many years ago. And yes, that's me playing the victim and blaming Adit for all my bad choices, #sorrynotsorry.

But by nine it was time for all good adults to be in bed, so I left John and Jess and walked across the street to settle into my new abode. I wanted to fall asleep then, but instead I unpacked and did a load of laundry (not necessary from a quantity of clothes standpoint, but v. necessary from how much dog hair was on my stuff). I fell asleep waiting for stuff to dry, then woke up and folded tings, but now it's time to sleep in earnest. Goodnight!

we keep this love in a photograph

I didn't get the ten hours of sleep that I hoped for last night, but it was pretty close. When I woke up, I stayed in bed for awhile daydreaming/ruminating, but I eventually dragged myself out from under the covers, took a shower, and did a few hours of work. I didn't get any writing done, but I had a lot of stuff to take care of, and I got through a decent amount.

Then I vacated the apartment and went to the Mission, where I got a haircut so that I can see again; my bangs recently surpassed super-stylish, and it was time to trim them up. Then I came home, messed around for a bit, and decided to walk downtown and go to the mall before my dinner plans.

This turned out to be a great decision (for my acquisitive heart, at least, if not my bank account). When I got there, I talked briefly to [censored] about [censored] while drinking a tea, and then I went to Nordstrom and very efficiently parted myself of some money in exchange for some goods. The first stop was the lingerie department to buy a bra for the dress I want to wear tomorrow (success, I think; well, success in the fact that I bought three, although whether any of them will work remains to be seen).

The second stop was the shoe department for a pair of suede boots that I've had my eye on for months. In a highly amusing turn of events, the guy who helped me was the guy who sold me my Jimmy Choo sandals back in March (for the charity gala I went to, although I didn't wear them because my dress selection changed). He actually remembered the Jimmy Choos, and where I previously worked, and who I was going to the gala with - all of which was astonishing, and even he seemed astonished since he claims he doesn't remember people that well. So I bought the boots from him while telling him that I now write romance novels and hate men, and we had a highly amusing fifteen minutes as a result.

Ah, memories.

Then I left the mall and met up with the original Jen Lui for drinks and dinner at Gitane. We had a lot to catch up on, so we had a drink at the bar, and then spent two hours splitting a variety of food items (we overordered, since the server told us we weren't ordering enough - she was wrong). It was great to see her, even if our conversations tend to veer toward concern/depression over getting older (as all conversations do these days, it seems).

And then we parted ways, and I started to walk home, but when I saw my first crackhead, I promptly called a lyft to take me the remaining six blocks (I wasn't feeling the crackhead scene today, since when I had been driving at noon today, one of them lurched toward my passenger door as though he was going to get in, so I had to lock my doors, which was all very bizrre). And now I need to sleep - I am running away to Healdsburg tomorrow, so I need to get up and pack and hopefully write for a couple of hours before that happens. Goodnight!

all your perfect imperfections

So I kind of, sort of, almost took today off. This was pretty necessary, given that I seem to have developed an allergy to looking at a screen; the two times that I spent more than 30mins on my laptop today made me feel incredibly exhausted, but I'm hoping that that reaction is temporary. I woke up at 6:15 and decided to start working because I'm an idiot, but after an hour of doing rote bookkeeping work, I was tired enough to go back to bed for awhile. Then I got up, put on some clothes, ate some leftover steak while talking to Terry, and went downtown to have coffee with Heather (aka dear respected madam) before she got a facial and hair cut at my salon (yes, I convinced her to start going there, and they should probably pay me for it because she spends just as much on overpriced beauty products as I do). I hadn't seen her in six weeks, which is pretty much criminal, and so while we caught up on the basics, I'm hoping we can get together again soon so we can move beyond my jury duty/endoscopy and her work/life issues.

After she went to keep her beauty appointments, I had originally planned to be a good little Puritan and buy groceries before working all afternoon (although I suppose a good little Puritan would have spent the day curing maize in lye to make hominy, so I shouldn't act so saintly). Instead, I decided to fuck work and go shopping. This proved to be a relaxing, albeit financially imprudent, decision. I hit Nordstrom pretty hard, scoring an awesome top + sweater, a couple of dresses, a pair of jeans, and two pairs of shoes. I also bought a new watch, which was completely unnecessary and yet totally necessary.

But all things must end, even the glorious feeling of complete freedom. So I left the mall and met up with Kathia to write for an hour, which resulted in me writing three pages and then deleting two of them. Stupid. Also, writing (or the caffeine I ingested with it) gave me a massive headache and totally killed my post-acquisition buzz. So I came home, showered, dried my hair, put on my new top (yay), and dragged Terry out to hang out with John, Jess, Adit, and Priyanka.

The group was just the same as always, which only surprised the people who think that individuals are capable of change (that would not be me, obvi, given that I tend to think most people's natures are set in stone). Terry and I went to John and Jess's first, where we drank whisky sours while I tried to negotiate a dinner settlement that met our desire to eat promptly and also met Adit/Priyanka's desire to eat fashionably (note: we won). Then we had a lovely dinner, followed by an inexplicable couple of drinks at the 500 Club. And now I must sleep; while today's day off was fantastic, I can't take tomorrow off or I deserve to be strung up by the thumbs and horsewhipped. Goodnight!

the cold never bothered me anyway

I'm a very dull boy this week; there has been space in my life for v. little beyond work. But I'm mostly happy, if only because I don't have time to stop and think. Today was another brutal slog, compounded by spending close to four hours commuting, which should be illegal. I left the house at 6:45am and was at my desk at 8:45am (taking the shuttle is better for productivity, but involves more walking/schlepping around on either end of the trip), and then I left my desk at 4:30 and was home at 6:25 (which would have been slightly better had I not had to make a long detour for gas). The rain has turned everyone into idiots again, and I'm not psyched about driving down again tomorrow, but I shall survive.

Once I reached the office, I ate my salary in smoked salmon, then had meetings pretty much straight from 9am to 4pm, with a brief break that I used to straighten up my desk rather than doing anything more pressing. But there was champagne in the middle, so that's not bad. Then I came home, was home for five minutes, and immediately left to a) buy new workout clothes (my favorites are embarrassingly worn at this point) and b) eat at my favorite place and write some of Thorington's book. The workout clothes buying was successful, I wrote three and a half pages of Thorington while limiting myself to only one glass of wine (shocker), and I caught up on the lives and scandals of all my favorite waiters, so it was all lovely.

And now I must sleep so I can do it all again tomorrow, although I'm adding Alyssa and likely subtracting the wine. Goodnight!

now is your time and you know where you stand

I really need to go to bed, but today was mostly great from a health standpoint even if it wasn't great from a productivity standpoint. Actually, scratch that; I spent almost three and a half hours commuting, so that totally sucked. But while I was at the office, I spent a couple of quality hours cleaning off my desk - I realized that I hate working in that space and I needed to do something about it, so I attempted to fix it by cleaning everything and getting rid of stuff. Yes, I'm still in purge mode. I feel pretty good about the new layout, so that's good, even if my team probably now thinks I'm secretly planning to quit.

After that, I had lunch with Chandlord and Heather (aka dear respected madam), which was awesome. Then I had some meetings, which was less awesome. Then I drove home, which was terrible. But when I got here, I adjourned to someplace down the street (ten points if you can guess where I went), where I had yet another steak and did some seriously good brainstorming for Thorington's book. It's shaping up better than it was a week ago, so hopefully I can start writing someday soon. But I got slightly tipsier than I had planned since the waiter poured me an extra glass of wine for the road (free of charge, and also I was walking, so it wasn't really an endangering move), which means I was slightly less productive than I had planned when I got home. But I made some more progress organizing my room, and I'm hoping that I can be totally done this weekend, barring disasters or laziness.

And now I really must go to bed if I want to get eight hours tonight - goodnight!

you want to party in france?

I continue to be in miraculously perfect health, and so today was yet another delight. Kathia and I woke up sometime before eight and proceeded to the Cafe du St Denis on Ile-de-St-Louis, where I had an omelette du fromage (cheese and more cheese) and we both attempted to write. The attempt was mostly successful, although I still hate Prudence (although Kathia told me I need to adjust my attitude, which is probably correct). We ordered some morning champagne to try to help things along, which I suppose was a good idea, although I think I should probably drink some water at some point while on French soil. Terry met up with us there, and we adjourned to do some much-deserved (not-at-all-deserved) shopping in the Marais.

And thus began my pretty-much-perfect day. Kathia has even more of a weakness for lingerie than I do, and we stumbled upon a great lingerie store where we all spent far too much money on unmentionables. This was en route to the street that I had read about where three or four amazing stationery stores lived - and when I got there, I was so overwhelmed by the window displays that I didn't want to go into any of them. We went into one and I bought a new journal, but I held off on buying more because the other amazing one didn't open until two. So we adjourned to a nearby cafe and had steak and red wine, which was amazing. Then we went back to the stationery stores, I explored the other store, and then went back to the original store and bought three more notebooks.

My heaven should have been complete at that point, but there was more in store; we went to St. Germain and had tea at Mariages Freres, which is a grand French tea establishment founded in 1854 that has six hundred varieties of tea available. The tea list is on a placard, but each tea is explained in more detail in a novel-sized paperback book that comes with the menu. We got three teas, each better than the last, and a tea-infused creme brulee that was tastier than anything should rightfully be. Kathia and Terry also got scones, but I turned my nose up at the flour and instead just had a bite of butter and jam (which is the whole point of scones anyway). Kathia and I wrote a bit more there, but then we adjourned to the hotel so that I could take a nap - at that point I was like an overstimulated toddler at Disneyland whose every childish dream has come true, and I needed to sleep before I had a meltdown.

But I was properly revived by 6:45, so I put on a party dress and we went out to meet a couple of my coworkers who also chose to come to Paris after last week's book fair. We had a v. lovely dinner at Le Petit Chatelet, which is next to Shakespeare and Company (the famous English-language bookstore). I didn't have high hopes since it looked touristy from the outside, but our appetizers were delicious (and I gorged on foie gras, which is illegal in California, much to the shock and horror of our waiter) and the entrees were all delectable. It may shock you to know that I ordered chicken, but the chicken was awesome and I have no regrets.

We all parted ways at eleven, and then Kathia, Terry and I had a nightcap in the hotel lobby. And now I must go to bed. Paris has thus far been pretty much perfect, so I don't know whether to look forward to my last full day tomorrow with anticipation or dread - it doesn't seem like it can get better, and yet it doesn't seem likely that it will be worse. Either way, I will blog tomorrow unless my heart explodes tonight from happiness. Bonne nuit!

but you never really had a doubt

I meant to go to bed a million hours ago, but I have no regrets. Unless, of course, I wake up with pneumonia in the morning, in which case I will hate myself. But I had a totally lovely day - I slept well, had a ridiculously nice breakfast, went to the book fair, accomplished some great tings, hung out with coworkers, and explored the little shops set up in one of the many vast courtyards, where someone convinced me to buy earrings as a souvenir of Frankfurt. I was back at the hotel by five, and I succeeded in packing everything up, leaving me just enough time to walk twenty minutes each way to the nearest Starbucks so that I could find a Frankfurt mug (I succeeded).

When I got back to the hotel, I thought I was going to have a quiet dinner with one of my coworkers at the hotel, but we ran into all the people who were meeting up to go out, and we got dragged along with them. It turned out to be quite lovely; I talked to some people I hadn't had a chance to catch up with yet, and I had a delicious steak and some great red wine, so that was all nice. Then I got dragged even further into the night and ended up at Spritzerhaus, some really divey bar where there was a live band covering American/British rock (and smoking while they sang/drummed, which was v. unexpected). I lasted for about five songs, but then another girl and I bailed since we both have early travel plans tomorrow.

And that means I should really sleep - I'm only going to get six hours now, which is better than nothing but not really enough. Still, my time in Germany has been incredible, and I'm sad that it's over. But I can't really be sad when I'm off to Paris in the morning - yes, life is hard. Goodnight!

make that money, watch it burn

I probably should have gone to bed when I felt like doing so three hours ago, but I had tings to do, so I made myself a mug of tea and slogged on. Today was hectic; I got up late since I had stayed up late last night, but I decided to run for the 8:20 shuttle without drying my hair, since I wanted to make it to work in time for breakfast. But when I got to the shuttle stop, after nearly running, I pulled out my phone and discovered that the shuttle wasn't coming and I had to wait twenty minutes. Which, obvi, would have been enough time to dry my hair. Curses. I maybe should have just skipped that one too and had breakfast before going south, since not having breakfast threw off my whole day, but I stuck it out and got to the office at ten. And I had the rather hideous realization that the amount of time I've spent commuting this week is nearly equal to the amount of time I will spend on planes to/from Europe next week, which is a really fucking sobering thought. Traffic has been awful this week and I've spent three or four hours a day on the bus or in my car, so I'm looking forward to twelve glorious days of not commuting.

I slogged v. hard all day, but I snuck out in the afternoon for a doctor's appointment with my new primary care doctor, whom I really liked. Then, I was going to go shopping at Stanford mall since I was right next door, but I checked my work email and discovered that my business cards had come in just in time (I never use them in my real life, so I'd forgotten to ever order them), so I drove back to campus to pick them up. Then I went to Nordstrom Rack and did less damage than I wanted to but more than I should have. Then I ate a snack bar that I found in my purse and just barely survived the drive back into the city without going into some epic hunger-induced road rage. Once here, I was too tired to go out and too tired to cook, so I ate some frozen enchiladas and worked until now.

And now, I really should sleep; I have a writing date in the morning and tons of stuff I have to do to get ready for my trip. Goodnight!

every second of the night i live another life

I had a v. wonderful day, but I'm now v. sleepy and would have gone to bed two hours ago if it had been ten p.m. instead of eight p.m. then. Instead, I forced myself to stay up, which was probably stupid since I wasn't productive at all and should have at least read a book instead of messing around on the internet while ignoring everything else I should be doing.

But the day was totally worth the exhaustion. I slept for almost ten hours last night, which means I kept my parents waiting even though I was ready to go at the totally civilized hour of 9:15. We had breakfast, then went to our first disappointment of the day: Sea Glass Beach, where there was absolutely no sea glass in evidence. It was also foggy and only fifty-five degrees, which my parents found a bit barbaric. But then the day began to look up. We went inland a few miles, where it was sunny and seventy-five, and walked around in a v. deserted redwood grove -- the sound of the trees was amazing, and something I'm v. unaccustomed to in the lives I live (part city, part open countryside).

Then we came back to the coast, descended into the fog, and walked out to Point Cabrillo lighthouse. It's one of the last six lighthouses remaining in California, and while the lighthouse itself was small, the walk out to it (on the nature-type pathway rather than the sidewalk/road we could have used if we'd known about it) was totally gorgeous. They've also restored the lighthouse keepers' houses -- you can rent a couple of them as vacation rentals, but one is a little museum with period furnishings, and I really enjoyed that (including a lighthouse keeper's version of a child's rocking horse: instead of a rocking horse, they had a rocking dolphin, which I will post a picture of once I upload my photos).

Post lighthouse, we went to a beach north of town, where we had been promised the opportunity to see lots of interesting sea creatures in the tidal pools left behind at low tide, but I think I saw one tiny crab and a bunch of sea lettuce. It's clear that some of the locals are overstating the glamour of their beaches. But with the fog and mist and pounding surf, it was still a gorgeous sight to behold. Then we went to a glass blower's shop, where I procured my souvenir for the trip; rather than getting a Starbucks mug, I returned to my preferred type of souvenir and bought something glass instead. In this case, it was a gorgeous paperweight with a purple jellyfish inside. Yes, collecting glass is a stupid endeavor for someone who lives in a major earthquake zone -- but perhaps I believe I will move away before the big one hits. Or perhaps I will be okay with everything I own being destroyed so that I can start over. The second idea is rather doubtful, but in any event, the paperweight is totally cool and will look great on my desk.

After that, we were hungry (since we were living like peasants on two meals a day), so we had a relatively early dinner at a place overlooking the harbor. The food was excellent, and my fish tacos were exactly what I was looking for. The glass of wine was also what I was looking for, and I think all three of us were delighted that this place lived up to the recommendation from our hotel dude (the same guy who suggested Sea Glass Beach and the tidal pools, so we had come to fear him). Then we came back to the hotel, parted ways, and you know the rest of my procrastinatory laziness.

And now, I must sleep. We are leaving tomorrow to drive back to San Francisco, and I have to stay awake for that + hang out when I get home + hopefully write something + do some day job stuff in anticipation for Monday. Goodnight!

gonna look in every corner of the city

I'm falling asleep while lying in bed with my laptop, so I think that means it's time to go to bed in earnest rather than pretending to work any longer. Today was v productive, though; I took the shuttle down and was able to work all the way down, and then I was surprisingly productive at work. I left the office a little after six, made a stop at Anthropologie (my weakness), and then had dinner at a mexican place in Palo Alto, where I brainstormed some of my young adult/new adult non-gargoyle romance, since I keep coming back to that story.

And I was going to tell you all sorts of fun and angsty things about how I'm feeling about my writing, but you'll just have to accept a placeholder: [insert brooding here]. There's no time for more brooding when I desperately need to sleep. Goodnight!

to prove it i put it in a song

Hello. I realized today that perhaps my blog is not upbeat enough, since two different people asked me if I'm okay and if everything is all right because my blog is making me sound v. stressed and not particularly happy. Ha. And the answer is...I think I'm happy? But I launched my book too fast in an effort to take advantage of that Nook promo, which threw off my whole month, and trying to launch a book that I wasn't prepared to launch + get trained up in a job that I had not planned on having three months ago was a bit wearing, to say the least.

So, I think where I'm at is that I'm happy with how the book turned out and I'm happy with how my writing career has gone so far. Simultaneously, I am finding my new job interesting, and it may be something that I could be passionate about for a v. long time. These are all v. good things. But the lurking worry under all of that is that a) if I'm passionate about my job, it's easy for me to relapse into my old bad workaholic habits, and I need to find a way to stay centered and balanced, etc., since it took me a long time to get to even a baseline level of comfort with not being a workaholic. And b) I'm still v. passionate about my writing, which means that the temptation is to spend every non-dayjob moment working on the next book, which would be all well and good except c) I'm worried that I'm becoming a not-so-great friend (since I have emails stretching back months that I haven't answered) and am going to wake up in twenty years with fifty published novels attempting to fill the hole in my heart where meaningful relationships should have been.

What I'm trying to say is that if my blog sounds vaguely weird and not so enthused, fear not. I'm happy with the moment...perhaps I'm just borrowing trouble by thinking about how all of this plays into the future. But I'm sure I'll figure it out. And perhaps I'll figure it out before I give myself another ulcer, but we shall see.

When I wasn't shredding my stomach lining, however, today was lovely! I slept in, which was awesome, and then cleaned my room and showered before heading over to Morning Due for some quality time with my notebook. I am brainstorming new series ideas, and I came up with a bunch of ideas, some more valid than others - hopefully I can spend some more time on that task in the next couple of weeks. Then I met up with Katrina, whom I hadn't seen in decades; we grabbed coffee and sat in Alamo Square, which was gorgeous for an hour and then turned ridiculously foggy and cold. So I abandoned her and drove home, where it was still sunny, and so I wandered down Union Street for awhile. I got a new sim card for my new Nexus 4 phone, since my old phone was on its last legs (and accidentally called my parents in the middle of the night last night - oops), and then hit up Sephora for some makeup therapy.

I was going to have dinner at the bar at Nettie's Crab Shack on my way home, but they are closed for the week for vacation (I swear that place is a front for something - the food is probably my favorite on Union Street, but they never seem to be full, and who can afford to close a restaurant for vacation for a week?). So, I had a burger and a glass of wine at Roam, then came home and talked to [censored]. Then, I was going to do some marketing-type tasks, but I was feeling too tired to concentrate, so I started reading this book Lauren had recommended to me ("How Remarkable Women Lead"). So far so good, although I didn't love the rambling intro - we'll see what I think when I am a few more chapters in. But now, I really should sleep; I'd planned to go to sleep two hours ago, but I suppose going to bed at midnight is respectable. Goodnight!

guaranteed to blow your mind

If yesterday was all work and no play, today was mostly the opposite. Granted, I got to work early - not early enough, as it turns out, since my boss made the bold move of emailing me at 7:30 to ask if I could stand in for him at a 9am meeting. Luckily, I was leaving my apartment then, but since it took an hour and twenty minutes to get to work, I didn't have time to grab breakfast before the meeting. First world problems, I know. So I sat through the meeting, ate some string cheese and a granola bar, sped to another meeting, came back and slogged for forty-five minutes, and then had lunch with the recruiter who got me in the door, which was lovely. Then I worked for another hour before packing it in and going bowling with our team as an offsite. It wasn't really an offsite, since there's a bowling alley on campus, but it was still fun even if I'm not a very good bowler.

Post bowling, I caught a shuttle home and walked in the door at six p.m., which was exactly the time I promised Terry I would be home. I took care of some stuff around the house, including opening a package of jewelry I'd ordered from fab.com (point a: having a job is dangerous; point b: I'm a hipster, if my jewelry tastes are any indication). My taste is impeccable, if I do say so myself. Or at least it's impeccable if you like lucite pendants in the shape of the state of Iowa, or earrings made out of typewriter strikers (mine have the letter 's' on them so I can wear them as both my real self and my romance alter ego), or an awesome silver cuff bracelet engraved with a map of the London Underground. Hot.

Eventually, though, Terry and I went to Des Amis for steak and wine to celebrate (belatedly) my third book coming out. It was so very anticlimactic when it came out, since it sort of released three weeks before I had intended for it to, and so I never really had time to celebrate it or appreciate that I was done. Sadness. But it is kind of shocking to me that I've written three books, and it was nice to acknowledge it. So we drank wine and talked about work and recounted our favorite romance novels ever, etc., and it was all v. nice. And now I really should go to bed; I expect traffic will suck tomorrow since it looks like it will be raining, and since I have another nine a.m. meeting I really need to get out the door sooner. Goodnight!

born to run

Obviously, I should have posted this last night - I never post at eleven a.m. But last night ended sometime after five in the morning, and when I finally got to my laptop, I was capable of neither thought nor typing, so a blog post didn't happen.

However, I feel it is imperative to verify that I am still alive. Last night started, as all of my bad decisions do, with a v. low-key, romantic dinner with Adit (some people call him the cat). Or rather, I had intended to have a low-key dinner (my original suggestion was Korean hot pot), but it turned fancy when we ended up at Central Kitchen, a place that sounds like it should be part of some food court full of off-brand chains, but is actually the kind of place that has the gumption to charge $23 for an "entree" where the main ingredient is celery root. Wtf, man...wtf. Also, there were more white people there, in a higher white:nonwhite ratio, than I've seen anywhere since eating at a buffet-style restaurant with my sister at Christmas, which is bizarre and unusual in San Francisco.

But the food was good, albeit overpriced and pretentious - although if I were to have a low-key, romantic dinner in the future, I'd rather go to Mission Beach Cafe for that level of expenditure. The ambiance was cool, though. I'm pretty sure our waiter was drunk, but he seemed like a nice dude. And he asked us if we were in the food industry, so I must have looked hip enough with my weird sweater poncho to not drag Adit down, since Adit always looks hip (do kids still say 'hip' these days?) - the chef asked the waiter to ask us, since the chef thought he recognized Adit. Ha.

The wine was excellent, though...and that's where my troubles began. We split a bottle, which was an aggressive move on what I had intended to be a low-key night. But I was destined for trouble anyway. I was in a celebratory mood, since I seem to have fought off the flu (which will undoubtedly sneak back in and try to kill me since I let my guard down last night). And more importantly, my next book is suddenly, awesomely/regrettably coming out next week - the Nook people want to feature it as part of their Valentine's Day promo, which is fantastic news, but also means I need to work all weekend. But I hadn't taken a break, or hung out for an appreciable length of time, or done anything beyond the occasional dinner, in what feels like months...(but maybe hasn't been months, although I feel like a total hermit)...and so that half-bottle of wine turned into the beginning of a fun, slow-motion trainwreck.

Post-dinner, we joined Chandlord, Katrina, and Raja at the adjacent bar, where the drinks are printed on a booklet of Pantone paint chips (I love/hate SF) and had a cocktail. Then, we went to another bar, where I asked Adit to order me a vodka cranberry and he came back with a whisky ginger, which are two of my least favorite things...and yet I drank the whole damn glass. Then Katrina and Raja parted ways with us, and Chandlord, Adit and I continued to a third bar, where Adit and I each had two drinks while the three of us played Jenga on the bar (and we were surprisingly good considering our levels of inebriation). Then, since Chandlord had stopped drinking hours earlier and yet was somehow still up for hanging out with two drunken fools, she drove my car to Safeway, where we bought cheese and gluten-free bread, and then we went back to Adit's and made grilled cheese and egg sandwiches. Of course, we had to open a bottle of wine to go with that (mistake #20 of the night)...and then we did whisper karaoke until five, which started as real karaoke until Adit found out, via angry text, that his neighbor was still home rather than gone for the weekend like he had thought. Oops.

sssanyway, Chandlord dropped me off at home, then took my car to her place, so I'll have to retrieve it at some point - but going to her place to get it is much more convenient than going to 20th and Harrison, so I'm v. glad she has it. And now you're all caught up, and I need to get over my headache so that I can proofread - have a lovely day!

as my broken heart lies bleeding, you say true love, it's suicide

It's my last night in Carmel, and as much as I've loved being down here, I'd say it's time to go back to my regularly scheduled life - I think I've hit the wall on trying to be productive, and I might as well hit the wall in a place where I can also do laundry and take care of other tasks instead of someplace where I can go shopping. Although the shopping was particularly good today; I found the shoe store that I think Aunt B and I went to when we came to Carmel approximately eleven years ago, where she bought me my all-time favorite pair of Merrell sandals that have long since worn out. So I bought some super cute work flats and a pair of tennis shoes; that sounds like a necessity, right?

sssanyway, today was moderately productive, but as I said, I think I've hit a wall. I wrote a scene, but I still have two to go on my quest to add brand-new scenes, and since this is my least favorite part of writing (yes, writing is my least favorite part of writing - shut up), it's been slow going. I did that + editing several existing chapters at the public library, where people were talking to themselves, which was oddly entertaining to me. Then I had a late lunch, hit up that shoe store and another clothing place down the street from it, came back to the hotel, and packed up most of my stuff so I can get out of here early tomorrow. I also typed up what I'd written earlier, and messed around online, and made a fire in the fireplace (which I've loved having).

Yes, I'm boring. But now, I think I shall sleep early so that I can get up early and get on the road at some reasonable hour so I can thread the needle between the end of morning rush hour and what will be an early start of evening-before-a-three-day-weekend rush hour. Goodnight!

welcome to thunderdome

I'm super sleepy and expecting my sleep to be interrupted by the same bitchy monotone voice of the weather radio announcer who interrupted my sleep last night. Last night's weather announcement was just to warn us about this impending blizzard that we already knew about, although the announcement was apparently warranted because they were upgrading (downgrading?) us from a winter storm warning to a blizzard warning. YAY, right? But the weather radio is automated and super loud, since it's meant to wake us up when there's a tornado, so that was all v. unwelcome for me.

sssanyway, I had to get up anyway because my mother and I were on a mad dash to stock up on groceries and finish Christmas shopping before the blizzard. We went over to Centerville and bought groceries first, knowing it was so cold that we could do that first and they wouldn't go bad while we did everything else (you know you're not in California anymore when you put fruit in a cooler to keep it from freezing rather than keeping it cold). Then we met up with my sister and my nephew for lunch to celebrate my mother's birthday - we had a buffet, and while the restaurant is quite nice (it's where Katie, if you remember her, had her wedding reception), the buffet was not particularly gluten-free friendly, so I had some subpar meat and some scalloped potatoes made from a boxed mix. Boo.

Then, we went to Walmart (under duress, since there is nowhere else to shop for the stuff we needed in Centerville anymore), and then I dropped my mother off at her dentist appointment and killed an hour at a consignment-type shop while waiting for her. I am reminded that I know more about ceramics and porcelain and antiques than someone my age probably should, and I bought at ceramic plate with a green chinoiserie design on it that later research confirmed was probably pre-World War One. I know, I need a chinoiserie plate like I need a hole in the head, but it was cute and I was drawn to it like the ceramics crackhead I am, so whatever.

sssanyway again, we drove home as the rain began (which seemed so ominous) and got our groceries put away while my father was making sure his animals will survive the upcoming apocalypse. The minicows and peacocks aren't going to be very happy, since this is the first major winter storm in quite some time (last winter was really mild). Then we had supper, played a game of hearts, and have been enjoying (if that's the right word) a v. odd thunderstorm. It's raining, with a lot of lightning and thunder, but it's only 33 degrees, so at some point this is going to switch over to ice, then snow. They're having thundersnow north of us, which is even more intense than regular snow, so I'm hoping we get some of that. We're prepped for the worst, so getting snowed in tomorrow would actually be kind of fun. I'm a hermit by nature anyway, so it's not like I'll go stir crazy if I just have to sit inside and read a book. And if it gets really bad, I have a bottle of Bailey's, which it would be nice to pour over fresh snow and drink by candlelight, right? Anyway, I need to sleep so I can enjoy whatever tomorrow brings -- goodnight!

oh, we're bleeding out

I'm so exhausted. I can't remember the last time I was this exhausted - maybe during my dad's surgery week? So obviously this is way less intense than that, now that I've put it in context, and I feel like a terrible person. sssanyway, I'm still tired enough to complain about the fact that I'm tired. Part of the reason why I'm exhausted is that I barely slept last night; I'm still full of Nick and Ellie adrenaline, I think, and my posture while finishing was so bad that my back and legs and everything else ache like mad, so I had to pop four ibuprofen just to feel human again. I had some stuff to take care of in the glorious south bay today, so I came down around eleven, had lunch, did my tings, picked up my new contacts, got a pearl milk tea (sans pearls) and continued south to Santana Row, where I intended to do some Christmas shopping...

...but I was so tired that I thought I might cry if I couldn't just sit down, so I got an impromptu, v. fancy pedicure instead. That satisfied my need to sit down, and I got a foot massage to help alleviate the fact that I've been wearing heels more often lately. It was the right call, even though I felt a bit lazy; the rest of this weekend is going to be a mad dash to finish everything I need to finish before going to Iowa, so it was nice to have some me-time. Then I met up with Heather (aka dear respected madam) for dinner, where I had a glass of wine that helped to start my cure. Then we came back to her place, where I drank some Bailey's on the rocks, which made everything right again. We also watched "Miss Congeniality" for some reason that still eludes me. And now I must sleep; I have lunch with the big boss tomorrow (provided her admin doesn't cancel on me; we've been trying to have lunch for four months), so I should at least attempt to look respectable. Goodnight!

forget what we're told, before we get too old

I am still a little burned out and crazy from finishing Nick and Ellie's book last night, but even though I was exhausted, I didn't sleep well - I think I'm still on an adrenaline rush. Or the caffeine I've pumped into myself over the past week is still working its way out of my system. Anyway, I was up and about by a little after eight this morning, and I took care of a whole bunch of stuff around the house before going downtown to get my bangs trimmed and my eyebrows waxed in preparation for the holidays. Then, I ran some errands (buying coffee beans to take back to the midwest, getting Christmas decoration supplies at CB2 and Cole Hardware, buying more leggings at Nordstrom, getting a present for my grandmother, doing other Christmas-related things, etc.).

And then I came home, finishing doing stuff around the house, and spent the past couple of hours contemplating the publishing industry while painting my nails and trying not to fall asleep, detrimentally, at eight p.m. But I have fun plans for tomorrow, including a sleepover with Heather (aka dear respected madam), and then I can spend the weekend getting ready to go back to Iowa! Yay! Goodnight!

let the right one in

Today was both wonderfully productive and amazingly unproductive. Wonderfully productive in that I was out of bed and out the door by nine a.m. to participate in some roommate bonding/Christmas decorating schemes; amazingly unproductive because I did not finish the book today. I had toyed with the idea of going to Stanford to work, but I was too tired (less than six hours of sleep never works well for me) and too unmotivated.

But I can officially say that I have caught the Christmas spirit after so many years trying to avoid it. Damn. Terry and I went shopping for a tree stand because we didn't want to buy the one at the place where we bought the tree...but after going to two different Lowe's and discovering both were sold out of tree stands, we ended up going back to Fort Mason and buying a tree stand there. There was also a craft fair going on, so I got a soap dispenser made out of a blue Mason jar, which I adore. And then we came home, put up the tree, I made us some celebratory eggnog french toast (most delicious french toast ever, and you couldn't tell I used gluten free bread), and Terry put up the lights while I cleaned the kitchen. So, all in all, that was successful...

...but I have not decorated for Christmas ever, and now all of a sudden that's all I want to do. I warned Terry that I believed that Christmas decorating is like vampires -- per vampire lore, they are not allowed to cross the threshold of your house unless you invite them, but once they're in, you're basically powerless to stop them. And for me, that was true with Christmas -- as long as I never decorated, I was safe, but the moment I decided to decorate, I was lost. And now I'm truly lost, thinking of cool centerpieces and interesting garlands, etc., etc. Damn.

So the rest of the day was mostly a wash, but that's probably because I was too tired to really think and my head has hurt all day. I should have just taken a nap in the afternoon, but I tried to power through and didn't get much done. I did shower and talk to my parents, so I suppose that's something. And I took a break tonight to watch an episode of 'Wedding Band' with Terry. But now I'm going to throw in the towel, admit defeat for the night, go to bed, and hopefully sleep nine hours so that I can be revived for a long slog tomorrow. Goodnight!

these spies, these slow hands

I'm totally out of words because I wrote fifteen pages of new material today to fill a placeholder I had made for the scene that was supposed to go there (a rather intense Nick and Ellie scene, and by intense I mean they had sex and it always takes me forever to write those, and I usually write them last so I know what the emotional arc is so that the scene feels necessary and not gratuitous). It's actually rather amazing that I wrote fifteen pages, since I didn't start until six p.m. -- but that fifteen pages took me six and a half hours, with a break to eat some string cheese and another break to eat some chocolate, and a third break to do a crossword puzzle because I'm an octogenarian at heart.

Anyway, the beginning of my day didn't look promising; I stayed in bed too long, and since I wasn't looking forward to writing this scene, I kept putting off working. Then, it was time to go downtown and get my bangs trimmed -- they were actually the perfect length, but in a few days they would be too long, and my new stylist is so great that I don't want to lose her trust by trimming my bangs myself if they get too bad before it's time to see her again. So I got them trimmed, then went to the mall to return a bra that I had bought a month ago, worn once, and discovered it squeaked every time I moved (which is quite distracting when you work alone in a silent house). It was odd that it squeaked, since I had bought two others in different colors and they were totally fine. Anyway, I returned that one, bought a different black one to replace it, and then got some leggings to replace the worn-out onces I had to toss. Then I ate at Chipotle (gluten free food of the gods), came home, and worked for the last six hours. Yay, me.

And now, I really should sleep -- I need to repeat this performance tomorrow (sans shopping), and I have an eye appointment in Mountain View and a social plan (gasp!) in the evening, so productivity is going to have to happen earlier in the day. Goodnight!

this is a wasteland now

Today was...odd. I was actually up and at my desk by 9:30, which is practically unheard of given my lacksadasical morning 'routine', and I made great progress with the writing for an hour or two...when suddenly I hit a wall. And by 'wall' I mean that I got interrupted by a phone call, and then I discovered that the Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant (this is major news in my industry), and then I got lost in a two-hour wormhole on Wikipedia that started by looking up what year Tipu Sultan was killed during the Fourth Anglo-Mysore War (too early for my purposes by a year or two). So I ate some lunch, but my concentration didn't really come back. I left the house around four, in hopes that a walk might help, but it only helped my closet (and harmed my bank account) since I live far too near some v. cute clothing boutiques for safety. Damn my gluttony.

So I came home, messed around with the book a bit more, ate a v. subpar supper (actually, come to think of it, it wasn't supper - it was two slices of ham and a piece of cheese, which may explain why I'm hungry now). I had promised myself a snack later, but at some point I decided that continuing to bang my head against my laptop was fruitless and bad for my eyes, and so I picked up my kindle instead. We all know how that decision turned out for me -- I read the whole book I started in one fell swoop over the last five or six hours. Bleh. But the book was great; it was the first YA book by one of my favorite adult paranormal authors (Kresley Cole), called POISON PRINCESS. Some of the pacing was a little off, since the places where there would have been sex scenes in one of her usual books were replaced with almost-kisses and considerations on whether this was the right time for the main character to lose her virginity. Since everything around them was a post-apocalyptic wasteland, I'm torn between 'when's the WRONG time?' and 'it would be beyond foolish to risk a pregnancy at this point!'. And I also thought the book took a bit too long to get rolling, with a bit too much happening before the apocalypse. But the premise is v. intriguing to me (a bunch of teenagers are all fated to play the roles of various Major Arcana cards from the tarot deck, and will end up killing each other in a battle of good vs. evil), so hopefully the next book comes out soon.

And now it's almost two a.m., and I need to get up tomorrow and write enough to not feel guilty about the fabulous dresses in my closet (and they *are* fabulous - perfect for whatever job I will end up getting to pay for them). Goodnight!