peace of mind

I have had a v. eventful few days. Work continues to be a slog, which is why I haven’t had the energy to post at the end of the day - but it’s a (mostly) fun slog, so I am not that resentful of the increased demands on my time.

So, let’s see what we missed (what you missed in reading + what I missed in documenting):

Thursday was my birthday (#neverforget), and I celebrated as soon as I woke up by having a funfetti cupcake instead of a granola bar with my coffee. I spent the day slogging through a variety of tings and also fielding texts from a variety of people - the advantage of a 9/11 birthday is that it is remembered by people even if they don’t have it on their calendars, so I feel like I hear from more people than average (and then feel guilty because I definitely don’t remember everyone else’s birthdays).

After I was done with work, my mom, [censored] and I went to Garden Grove to celebrate my birthday at one of the only restaurants around that was open. I always love their cheese curds and fried pickles even though they certainly are not gluten free; I also had a southern Iowa lemonade, and the bourbon made up for the fact that my burger wasn’t as good as it usually is. So, we had a nice birthday dinner, and I ended the day feeling very loved (especially because someone at work refused to add me to a 9-11pm meeting because it was my birthday, so I went to bed while everyone else slogged).

Friday was chaotic = I got up and went into town to get allergy shots, and then I slogged through more meetings than I like to have on Fridays. I also had to pack to leave for SF, which made things more chaotic. But since I was originally supposed to fly out Friday night, the fact that I didn’t leave until Saturday morning made it just a wee bit more manageable. So I got packed up, watered all my plants and gardens, organized things, and also made dinner - I baked some chicken breasts, cooked the last of a pack of bacon that was going to go bad before my return, sliced up some fresh tomatoes and some leftover mozzarella, and [censored] and I had a surprisingly delicious dinner (and I left him with leftovers, assuaging my guilt at also leaving him with plants to water).

Saturday, I flew to SF. My flight was at 9, which meant leaving home at 6…and I only left twenty minutes later than planned, which is luckily not a problem when flying out of Des Moines. I parked in the garage, walked straight through security with my carry-on, and had time for a glass of nerve-calming rosé at the bar before boarding on time. My flights were both smooth from a timing standpoint, but unfortunately I was banking on eating on the Denver->SF flight, and they didn’t end up offering any food because there was too much turbulence.

So I landed in SF early but starving. Since I didn’t have to pick up a checked bag, I grabbed a late lunch at a restaurant at the airport before taking an uber into the city. I checked into my hotel, fully unpacked, and then went to my absolute favorite mani/pedi place, were they cleaned up my hands and feet and made me feel ready to seize a week of girlbossing in the city of sin. After that was done, I came back to my hotel, took a much needed twenty-minute nap, put on fresh clothes, and rendezvoused for some much-needed family time.

Adit (no one calls him the cat), Chandlord, Claude and I met up at True Laurel for drinks (aka cacktales), and my boulevardier went a long way toward restoring me after my travels. Then we had dinner at Flour + Water, which has gotten v. good for gluten free. The four of us now arrange our seating by our joint dietary preferences - Claude and I avoid gluten and eat meat to compensate, while Adit and Chandlord are veg only but eat as much gluten as possible. We split all the veg/gluten free salads on the menus, and then Claude and I split an excellent gf pasta + some salmon. This might be my new fave gf pasta in the city, which is v exciting since a place called Flour + Water is not typically welcoming of our gf sensitivities.

We also (of course) ordered a bottle of wine + another couple of glasses after. This is sedate compared to the outings of our twenties and thirties, but still felt like going big given our advanced ages. We spent most of dinner playing a game we dubbed ‘Vibe Check’ - the person in the hotseat had to pick a number between 1-10, where 1 is worst and 10 is best. The other three then went around and asked category questions - e.g., if someone asked ‘Biblical characters’ (as Claude did of me), then the main person had to name something within that category that matched the number/ranking they were thinking of.

As it turns out, we know each other quite well - they got that I had picked a 4 (for reference: my biblical characters was Paul bc I acknowledge his role in promoting the church and writing great letters, but do not appreciate his misogyny or how judgy he was after his Damascus conversion - and Claude guessed exactly how I felt; my other answers were all similarly mid), and for the rest of our rounds we all got within 1 of the person’s number. As games go it was quite fun and not nearly as dangerous as games involving shots, so I would 100% recommend.

Sssanyway, after we finished dinner (with an excellent chocolate budino), we walked a few blocks to meet up with Michael, who is friends with Chandlord and Claude. We hung out in his lobby with him and his partner, and drank some truly atrocious canned Paloma drink (lukewarm 52-proof tequila and grapefruit is really not good, but I drank it anyway because I’m polite and also have no boundaries). We chatted about a variety of topics related to book bindings, house renovations, SF neighborhoods, etc., and it was all generally delightful.

Adit and Chandlord then went with Michael to the Stud (and later to Grubstake, which I’m very sad to have missed, but I couldn’t have survived until 1:30am PT / 3:30am CT after waking up at 5am CT). I walked Claudia back to her car, grabbed an uber from there, and then came to my hotel and fell asleep with the lights on because I was too tired to think.

Today was a great recovery day though. I woke up fairly early, grabbed coffee downstairs, and then chilled and ordered room service breakfast. I also ran over to Chandlord’s to get a set of keys from her - SF hotels are cheap this weekend but out of control this week, so I’m checking out tomorrow and staying with her. Then I came back to my hotel, showered, and walked to the Embarcadero…

…where I had lunch (don’t call it brunch) with John and Jess at Coqueta. I was in the mood for tapas and paella, which I never get in ye olde Iowa, and Coqueta delivered. My salt air margarita was perfect, and the paella was fantastic - and the patatas bravas (fried potatoes if you’re Iowan) were so good that we got a second order. It’s warm in the city right now, so we sat outside, and we people-watched and water-watched and caught up on life in general, and it was all a delight.

After we parted ways, I did basically nothing for a couple of hours (and finally gave up and took a proper nap). Then I grabbed a chai from the Yemeni coffee shop down the street, came back to my room, and wrote for a couple of hours. Eventually I realized I was finally hungry again, so I grabbed a burger and a glass of wine from the hotel bar. And now, I need to start unwinding so that I can hit the work slog hard tomorrow - goodnight!

up on a hill across the blue lake

I had a v. nice day, even if it did involve going to the dirty east bay. It helped that I got a lot of sleep last night and so was starting to feel normal again - and I also wrote for an hour or so this morning, which felt great. Then, I walked down Post Street to a rental car place; while my current abode in Japantown is still quite nice and the neighborhood here is generally good, it seems that the Tenderloin is encroaching on the eastern part of Post. Post was always just a little sketch, but I walked it all the time from Lower Nob Hill to the SF office (or Union Square and the mall) back when I lived at Chandlord's place. I would still walk it today, but it felt grimier. So far my impression of SF has been mostly positive (it's definitely livelier than it was during any visit I've made during the pandemic), but I'll be curious to see how the rest of the week shakes out.

sssanyway, I picked up a rental car and immediately remembered how to drive in the city, which is a good thing since it's a next-level mess of one-way streets and ill-enforced traffic laws. I drove across the bay to Oakland, where I was 40mins early for my lunch (unheard of), so I sat in my car and wrote. Then, I met up with Victor for lunch, which was a real blast from the past - I'm guessing it's been well over a decade since we last saw each other. He was in my freshman dorm at Stanford, and we kept in touch for several years after college - but he and his wife moved away at some point, and we fell out of touch. We reconnected via LinkedIn recently, though, and decided to get together since I was going to be here. It was really wonderful to see him - and a little strange to pick up with someone again after fifteen years, but it seems to be one of my skills.

After we had lunch, I drove to Berkeley and wrote for another hour at a way-too-cool-for-me coffee shop (the building felt like it was just a hallway and everyone was sitting on the floor because there were no chairs (although there were posh cushions for the floor), and grabbed a table outside that was on a fairly steep hill). Eventually, John joined me, and we caught up for forty-five minutes or so. He was at my party with Jess on Saturday, but we hadn't really chatted, so it was nice to say hi.

Then I drove back to the evil city, and was pleasantly surprised that traffic wasn't a nightmare. When I got here, I wrote for just a bit more and then walked over to The Progress to meet up with Claude. We spent a couple of hours eating a variety of tasty things that I absolutely can't get in Iowa, and we also went deep on each other's lives. I may have convinced her to come visit me in Iowa, especially by offering up [censored]'s services to let her son play with a tractor or excavator, which would probably be the best thing to ever happen to that kid.

After we parted ways, I walked back to my hotel and met up with Chandlord, who was here for a drink with one of her coworkers who is also staying here. So, we chatted for a bit (and I referenced my blog to settle a dispute, which the coworker was in awe of). And now, I need to sleep - goodnight!

wild cards, men from mars, dressed in stars and stripes

I'm still recovering from yesterday's festivities, but my recovery wasn't too bad today - my post last night was abbreviated because it was 2:30am (4:30am in Iowa) and I was so tired that I was starting to type gibberish, but I actually wasn't that intoxicated from the party. So, other than the fact that I slept like garbage last night, which gave me a headache, I felt mostly fine.

Yesterday was fantastic, though. I ran some errands in the morning (to buy decor for the party) and then had lunch with Chandlord. We went to a ramen place near my hotel, where I ordered a pork dish with rice because I can't eat ramen - it was pretty tasty, and I'm glad I got that instead of the spice that made Chandlord weep silently while she was eating her food. What a fun and interesting experience!

Then, I parted ways with Chandlord and took an uber to the Marina and back to pick up a bunch of cupcakes. I did a bit of work, took a brief nap, and then took care of some party stuff. Jess showed up at my hotel so that she could get ready, since she was already in SF for something earlier in the day, and I roped her into helping me with some decor elements. We shared an uber to the party venue, and she very kindly helped me set up the space. I'm very grateful that she was able to help, since I would not have had time to do everything myself!

Eventually, the party started, and it was a total riot. People were mostly on time and also mostly took it as an opportunity to dress up after years of no parties. The food and drinks were excellent. And I saw a total cross-section of all the major phases of my California life - Stanford people (freshman year and senior year), early coworkers, writing friends, and some connections between the groups. I'm used to seeing these people in separate / smaller gatherings, but it was really fun to see everyone in more of a party mode.

Of course, some ridiculous tings happened. Julie kept insisting on doing shots, but since the bar wasn't actually doing shots, they just poured cocktails into shot glasses - which was much tastier and safer for my liver. We discovered that Jane has a bunch of old photos stored on SmugMug, which I didn't even realize was still in business. John gave me (and everyone else) a Magic card for "The Swamp," which seemed appropriate. Walter came on his own actual birthday, which was great (and I hadn't seen him in forever, so I was glad he and his wife made it). I indulged Chris, Adit, and John, in playing "All the Way Up to Heaven" on the epic playlist. And we had an abbreviated candle ceremony in which Adit read a brief but v. dirty scene from one of my books (and other people gave other, more sincere, toasts), which will live in my heart for a long time.

So we hung out for about four hours, and people slowly trickled out at the end. The final nine went to Last Rites, which was around the block...but Adit and I made the mistake of ordering three punchbowls for nine (reasonable) and then discovering that really, only four or five people were drinking (not reasonable). I didn't need a punchbowl after the cocktails at the party, but I persevered, and Adit and I finished our punch bowl even though we had to give up on the other two. And the final group (Julie, Tom, Rachel, Shari, Chandlord, Adit, and I) was a very solid final group.

I don't think I'll have a birthday party again for a long time - but I have to say that this one lived up to my expectations, and I was thoroughly delighted by it. Happily, I have some time to catch up with poeple more quietly the next few days, but as parties go, this one was pretty great.

So I got back to my hotel around two last night, went to bed, and slept v. v. fitfully. Today, I mostly took it easy - I ate breakfast at the hotel, did some work / writing, ordered a takeout sandwich from Ike's (I do love their sandwiches), took a nap, etc. Then, I walked down to Beretta (on Divis) to meet up with Katrina - she wasn't able to come to the party last night, so it was great to see her. We caught up for three hours over pizza and squid ink risotto, and it was v. tasty (and wonderful).

And now, I really need to sleep - goodnight!

i don't wanna rain on your crazy parade, buddy

Today is essentially my last day in the city of sin, and while my body will be happy to get back to avoiding gluten and getting eight hours of sleep, my heart is happy that I made the trip here.

I woke up this morning in Tracy, and Jen, Joann, Jane, and I finished our sleepover with breakfast, which was basically last night's leftover dinner. We had enough tater tot casserole left for all of us, and we put a fried egg on top of each serving, which made it a total winner. I'm tempted to experiment with making a breakfast tater tot casserole (with sausage and maybe some peppers instead of the carrots/onions), but we'll see what I discover. We also had leftover apricot salad, which is also a nice breakfast treat. So, all in all, my attempt to bring Midwestern culinary delights to California was a success.

Eventually, I left Tracy (while the rest of them stayed and continued hanging out) to drive to Alameda to see Claudia. Claude's mom was visiting, so we had a nice chat - I hadn't seen her since Claudia's wedding, but it was great to see that she's doing well. She brought tamales with her, which were delish. And I took some leftover jello to Claudia and her son Téo - Téo wasn't really interested in lunch since he'd already eaten, but he had a small scoop of jello and then demanded three more scoops of jello with a crazy gleam in his eyes.

So, we had to take him to the park to burn off a bunch of sugar. Claudia and I talked while watching him play in a sand pit, and it was actually pretty delightful - the weather was nice, Claudia and I were overdue for a chat, and Téo (who turns three soon) is perhaps the cutest child in the history of children (no offense to my other friends' children). It was a really nice afternoon, so hopefully we'll get a chance to do it again sometime soon.

Then, I parted ways with them and drove to Berkeley to see John and Jess. I did not see their kid, so I have no report about Ian since they dropped him at his grandparents' place. But I'm happy to report that John and Jess are doing well. We went to Saul's Deli, which is where we always go for breakfast, and I was surprised to see that it's open for dinner and also serves surprisingly fancy (and inappropriately named) cocktails. So we had latkes, and I had a sandwich with roast beef / harissa / horseradish / swiss that was excellent, and John and I each had a cocktail and split another while Jess enjoyed her fancy healthier beverage choice.

And then, I parted ways with them, drove back to the city of sin, and met up with Chandlord. We were supposed to grab a drink, but instead we stayed in - and I somehow, some way, tricked her into watching SAHARA (and paying to rent it). This is basically the opposite of doing something nice for someone who hosted you. I, of course, still love it, but Chandlord seemed rather displeased with a variety of plot holes that I thought she made much too big a deal of. C'est la vie, I guess.

And now, I need to sleep so that I can pack up tomorrow - I'm moving to an airport hotel tomorrow night and doing some exploration of the south bay before that, so I want to get out of the city in good time. Goodnight!

marry me juliet you'll never have to be alone

I had an excellent day in the city of sin. I woke up earlier than I wanted to so that I could walk to the Financial District - my old hair stylist from a lifetime ago fit me in on her day off, and I'm delighted that I got to see her and also got a much-needed hair cut. We caught up on many topics (life, covid, dating guys who were on the Bachelorette), and it was an excellent way to start my day.

Then, on a whim, I caught an uber to Hayes Valley, where I had brunch, did some window shopping, and then stopped in for a glass of rosé and some writing time at Arbor. This turned into extra rosé because the server mysteriously and miraculously said 'the manager said to top you off' and poured me almost a full glass when my glass was empty. I don't know what it is about my face, but I'm glad that my magical free alcohol power still seems to be in full force. Then I ordered another glass just because, as well as some curly fries (also just because) and they gave me a friends and family discount, so I'm v. disposed to think kindly of them going forward.

More importantly, I got several good pages of writing done, and I'm excited about that. Then I came back to Chandlord's and helped her get ready for tonight (while also napping). She had a bunch of people over for dinner - the main event, in my opinion, was Claudia, but Chandlord's friends are pretty entertaining. There was a girl who also writes romance (although hers sounds smuttier than mine), and a bunch of hilarious guys, and some Germans, and various groups of the Indian subcontinent, and a v. strange guy from Texas (definitely the strangest guy in attendance). Our conversation alternated strangely between Malala, ChatGPT, camels, and Tennessee motels, and we ended fairly convinced that AI is going to destroy us sooner rather than later. But this was all excellent grist for the book mill, so hopefully I can write this book before the end.

And now, I really need to sleep so I can pursue additional plans tomorrow - goodnight!

it's two a.m. and i've gone and lost my friends

I made it to Seattle and am safely ensconced in bed after a v. long day of travel and a moderately long night of socializing. In retrospect, I should have rented a car and driven myself from the Oregon coast to Seattle, since it would have been faster than leaving absurdly early (6:15am) to drive to Portland and wait three hours for my flight (to accommodate the people I was with). But still, I was v. grateful to not have to drive in today's intense rain, and I was also grateful to just sip my venti cold brew and offer navigational assistance, so it was probably #worthit.

However, after the many bottles of Veuve Clicquot rosé and various Oregon pinot noirs that were consumed yesterday, and after going to bed at 1am for a 5:45am wakeup, I was not #inittowinit. I had breakfast at the airport post security, and I slept for the ~24mins that we were in the air between Portland and Seattle, but it wasn't enough. So, when I landed, I got my baggage (which took too long), then uber'd to my hotel, where I checked in, briefly unpacked, grabbed some sushi across the street, and took an hour-long nap.

The nap was v. necessary to sustain myself for my evening plans - the only reason I'm here is to see Ritu Rani, and she is notorious for feeding me first dinner, second dinner, several appetizers/desserts, multiple bottles of wine, and an inordinate number of cocktails. I think she thinks I'm a foie gras goose, but I'm going to roll with it. I took an uber to her house a little before five and was greeted with mango mimosas and three kinds of cheese, as well as two kinds of small children (a five year old and a two year old have even less in common than a truffle brie and a mild manchego). We hung out and chatted and played a board game (and by that I mean something to do with dragons and gemstones that was appropriate for a child), and then ate dinner (lamb rogan josh), which was delish.

Eventually, after I read to the girls, Ritu lied and said that she and Bill had to take me to the airport, so we left and went to a bar (don't worry, Ritu's mom was there so the kids weren't fending for themselves). We had a drink there, then adjourned to another bar down the street from that, where I had a truly excellent rum cocktail that I will probably dream about.

And now, I need to go to bed so I can maximize my time with Ritu tomorrow before flying to SF (aka the city of sin) - goodnight!

the past was only practice

I had a pretty good day - not enough writing, but I thought a lot about the story, so I feel good about that. I got up in time for a 9am call with someone in London, which almost felt like being back at work - probably because she's a former coworker and we caught up on gossip, and also because I never take 9am video calls anymore. Despite the time, it was good to talk to her, and it also reinforced that I made the absolute right decision to leave when I did.

After that, I refilled my coffee and then talked to John for a bit - we hadn't caught up since I was in SF in September, and I mostly wanted to brainstorm with him about some plot points for my book that relate to artificial intelligence. I took a couple of classes on it in college and it was a possible focus area in my major, but John went on to get a PhD and become a professor and found a company using AI, so he's a little more knowledgeable about current trends than I am. The conversation gave me a couple of killer ideas for possible plot points, so I left feeling buzzy and excited about where to take the book.

Then, I took care of some tings, ate some leftover pasta, talked to [censored], etc. This turned into wanting to take a nap, which I did, since I went to bed too late last night (and am headed in that direction again tonight). And then I did laundry, took care of some necessary tasks, reread my manuscript and thought a bit, and then talked to my friend Sara. I unfortunately had to cut off slightly early to go to dinner, but I was v. happy to accept an invitation to my parents' house to eat, since I didn't have anything ready to cook.

So, [censored] and I went out there and ate, and stayed for awhile after. Then we came home, and I thought about writing, but instead scrolled the internet (but also reread some notes and made some fresh notes about where the plot is going). And now, I should probably sleep - goodnight!

never forget

I had an excellent birthday in the city of sin. Despite last night's blog post ending abruptly, I was actually pretty sedate yesterday - I guess we're all growing up, or something. After seeing Jess yesterday afternoon, I came back to my hotel, freshened up briefly, and then went to ABV for a pre-dinner drink. ABV was one of my old haunts in my youth, and it's still got it - I had a Mumbai Mule that was quite tasty. Claudia and Sam joined for the pre-dinner drink, which was a nice way to get the party started. 

Then we walked to Burma Love, which I chose specifically because I now live hundreds of miles from the nearest Burmese restaurant. We met up with Adit, Priyanka, Chandlord, and John, and the seven of us had a decadent and delicious dinner. It of course devolved into the usual shenanigans (i.e. everyone got to ask me a question; we wanted to do a candle ceremony, but there were no candles, and the birthday dessert that was brought out to me had a rather dangerous sparkler in it instead of candles). Then we adjourned to Elixir, where we drank alcoholic slushies (mountain = irish coffee; beach = spicy margarita) and felt like we were going to get run over in our parklet every time the MUNI went by. I must say, I like the proliferation of parklets (booths outside in former parking spots, created tanks to covid), but this particular parklet felt like we were going to die (especially after John and I accidentally broke the plastic divider, ha).

Side note: San Francisco feels like it's finally coming back to life. The handful of trips I've taken here since the pandemic have been strange and sad and apocalyptic, since no one was out and everything was closing early. But Friday, Saturday, and today were all busy and bustling and wonderful. The first two bars we tried to go to before Elixir were either too noisy or had lines out the door and around the block; Friday was also surprisingly busy and back to normal. It's too early to say what the future holds, but this is closer to the San Francisco I remember, and my heart was happy to feel it.

After Elixir, the final crew (me, Chandlord, the cat, and Dirty John) went to the Hideout and had a final cocktail while ensconced upstairs. Then it was last call, and we got overly-expensive ubers to get ourselves out of the Mission. As usual, family dinner was a success, and as usual, I remain happy/surprised/delighted/confused that I've been friends with most of these people for twenty-three years and counting.

So, this morning was better than it could have been - last night's alcohol consumption was pretty relaxed, and my physical health this morning was wrecked more by lack of sleep than by tequila. So, I was lazy this morning before eventually rallying to have brunch with Chandlord, since we haven't had 1:1 time in ages. We went to True Laurel, which was incredible (I've had some great meals this weekend, and Burma Love and Beretta held their own, but this may have been the best) - I had a fantastic deconstructed pork fried rice that I'll probably dream about. We also got to catch up on work and life in ways that are harder in big groups, which was much overdue. And I got to see Chandlord's remodeled bathroom, which gave me some ideas...

Then I came back to my hotel, took a long nap, and talked to my parents. And then I had a late afternoon snack with Katrina, who came to Japantown for me - I had ended our hangout Friday rather abruptly, so we continued the convo today. We hung out in one of the pedestrian areas of Japantown, then had some shishito peppers and seaweed salad (for her) and buns with pork and sweet/sour chicken (for me), and it was v. lovely.

Then, I spent approx ten minutes switching out of sweats into a dress and also putting on eyeshadow, and then I met up with Veronica for dinner at Gardenias. Today was v. much a #girlsdayout since I purposefully chose to hang out with some of my favorite girlfriends, and dinner was exactly what I need. V and I hung out over dinner, then came back to the Kabuki for one last drink before she headed home. And then I switched back into sweats, came back to the bar, and nursed a final ginger beer while writing this.

And now, my birthday is nearing its close - but it's the best one I've had in quite some time, and I'm happy that I got to spend it here. And now, I should sleep - goodnight!

the city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps

I had such a wonderful day - it's amazing how a random Thursday can be great when I am in San Francisco and don't have to work. I spent the morning getting ready, drinking cold brew, and journaling...and then I had a call with Alyssa, which was excellent. This week has been quite stressful, but time off is already helping me to decompress.

After I talked to Alyssa, I walked over to the Ferry Building, where I browsed and then got lunch (a gluten free BLTA) and snacks (a gluten free bear claw) at Mariposa Bakery. They are entirely gluten free, and it was nice to take my sandwich out back and people watch near the ferries. Later, I went to Yerba Buena Gardens, where I meet up with Jess for an extended chat in the afternoon sun. My beloved Samovar had been replaced (at least for now) by a pizza place, so we shunned it and just hung out on the lawn. It was a delight to see her, and I am v happy to hear that leaving her last company has gone so well for her. And we took a selfie with the Shaking Man statue, which always amuses me.

After we parted ways, I ran a quick errand at Nordstrom, came back to my hotel (which took too long because of a random fire at Fifth and Mission, which is par for the course there), changed, and then met up with Adit (some people call him the cat) at the

Embarcadero bart station. We took the train to the dirty east bay, where John picked us up at the station so that we could have an old school night out.

We started at North Light (after attempting to start at Snail Bar and discovering it was too popular), and it was perfect. My first cocktail was a Spice Runner, which was a refined, low-key tiki-type drink, and I adored it. My second drink was the Jaguar Shark, which was good, but Adit lured me into lapping up the topping (egg white, which is standard in a cocktail, and squid ink, which is definitely not) like I was a cat with a saucer of cream, and I've got to say that cocktails with squid ink as a topper aren't meant to be lapped. But maybe squid ink and caviar would be a nice way to step up future Olympics parties (certainly classier than just dumping black food coloring in a cocktail to represent the black Olympic ring), so perhaps I should experiment.

sssanyway. We talked about work and life and whether we would fight or evacuate if we were in Ukraine, and we ate some tots, and it was great. Claudia eventually was able to join us - I continue to be amazed and grateful (#gratitude) that Claude was my random freshman roommate and Adit/John lived next door to us and we're still friends over twenty years later.

We switched to a table then and ordered another drink so that we could talk about algebra and SATs and conspiracy theories, but our new table was cold, so we adjourned to Cholita Linda next door and had tacos (and margs for me and Adit, who weren't driving and won't be in peak physical condition tomorrow). Adit gave me a surprisingly earnest pep talk (surprising only bc he had said an hour earlier that gen z-ers give each other too much praise and then realize it's awkward to do it in person instead of on tiktok), and our overall convo was exactly what I needed.

Eventually, it was time to part ways, so we said our farewells (not for long, since I'll be back in April) and then Adit and I shared an Uber to the city of sin. And now I must sleep - goodnight!

she's the last true mouthpiece

I'm completely exhausted since my body still hasn't adjusted away from Central timezone and I just threw it two hours even further away, but I had a v. nice day (all things considered) and am now in Hawaii (Oahu to be exact). I woke up in the middle of the night at Ritu's and got an email that my flight was delayed three hours - this was due to the crazy storm they had here over the weekend, which knocked out power to the Maui airport and affected my inbound plane. But by the time I got to Hawaii tonight (three hours later than planned), the rain was gone, so that's lucky.

Since my flight was delayed, this morning was a little more relaxing than I intended for it to be. Bill dropped me off at the airport around ten, and I checked in and spent some time in the AmEx lounge, which was nice. It would have been nicer if I were still hanging out with Ritu (preferably there, on our way to somewhere fancy), but at least I got some quality time with her the last couple of days.

After I boarded, it was all smooth sailing. I read all of THE LAST GRADUATE, by Naomi Novik - I had been saving it, and I knew I would be annoyed at the end because of the requisite cliffhanger at the end of the second book in a trilogy, but it was excellent.

I also, serendipitiously, saw a parade of Pearl Harbor and other WWII vets - my Uber driver couldn't get me all the way to my hotel due to closed streets, so I walked the last five minutes dragging my bag. I paused to see quite a few of the vets, though - with the 80th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, there aren't a lot of survivors left, so it was nice to see the parade.

Then I settled in, grabbed dinner at the restaurant downstairs, and settled in some more. And now I really need to sleep - it's only 9:32pm here, but I could use ten hours of sleep while still getting up early enough to do some fun things. Goodnight!

you've been dreamless and sleepin' for years

I am in San Francisco and it feels like home, which is such a strange dislocation because my tiny town in Iowa also feels like home and there is no way for my brain to reconcile these competing desires. Today was exactly the day I wanted (other than the fact that I got exactly five hours of sleep last night). I woke up in San Bruno and had a latte and some conversation with Veronica and Adam (and their dog Gus, who realized approximately eight hours too late that I broke in last night). After we chatted, I took a v. abbreviated shower and packed my bags and said goodbye (sadly)....

And then I drove to Alameda, where I picked up Claudia (who will legally be known as Santy Claude in less than a month, once Thanksgiving is over and her true identity is revealed to the world). We left her adorable toddler and less-adorable husband sitting on the porch while we went to a tea shop, where we indulged in hot beverages while hanging out on the back patio. This trip has served, as always, as a good reminder of how v. much I appreciate the friends I have collected along the way - Claudia and I were random freshman roommates back in 1999 and could have very well found each other contemptible (or, barring that, forgettable), but we're 22 years in and going strong.

So, Claudia and I caught up in a delightful but abbreviated fashion (she had a cold, which her toddler gave her via a loving donation of spit and particulates). After, I dropped her off at home and met John and Jess at Saul's, which is the home of many previous lunches (don't call it brunch in front of Jess). Saul's has created a bunch of outdoor seating due to the panny, so we sat outside and it was pretty perfect for my usual order of corned beef hash. John and Jess also gave me the best birthday present ever - a copy of a board game called 'Raccoon Tycoon', which also involves railroads, and so hits every interest I have. So, I predict some new adventures for Wampler Family Christmas (tm) in the future.

We spent a couple of hours having brunch/lunch + gelato, and then I went back to their place for a bit more chatter. Eventually, I had to come back to SF, so I checked into my hotel, took a nap, and bailed on dinner plans with Chandlord due to extreme exhaustion. The panny has left me unable to deal with so much socializing, and I have to work tomorrow, so I indulged in a lowkey evening of unpacking + talking to my parents. I also had a late dinner + wine at the bar where I had my last hotel bar experience pre-pandemic - I am pretty sure it was the same bartender, but instead of talking to a stranger who had dated someone in the Denver mafia, I talked to a stranger whose wife was at UCSF for a brain tumor. Separately, I am 99.5% sure that someone else at the bar was someone I had had a v. bad first date with years ago; I  compared notes with the bartender, who was reluctant to say anything at first bc she's been burned by secret shoppers in the past, but our resulting conversation was hilarious.

And now, after fully reimmersing myself in my San Francisco ways, it's time for bed - I'm back to work tomorrow, and that requires some amount of focus. Goodnight!

everyone's a winner, we're making our fame

I should not have stayed up to work until 11:30, but that's the way it goes right now. Today was a brutal meeting slog (starting at 8:30, ending at 5:30, with two 30min breaks), but I survived (thanks to a poke bowl delivery). Then I took a break in the evening - I ate dinner, did some laundry, finally planted my last plants that I bought a couple of weeks ago, read twitter, and gave myself a fresh gel manicure. So the work didn't pick up again until 9:30, and then I couldn't help myself in terms of what I absolutely had to get done.

But now I can go to bed, push hard through tomorrow's similarly heavy meeting schedule, have some fun, and then coast through Friday before the weekend begins in earnest.

And now, before I go to bed, I shall document that Adit, Ritu, Chandlord, Claude, and Jess had dinner in Oakland (jhokeland) at Arthur Mac's last night. They sent me a picture this morning wondering if it even happened if it wasn't documented on my blog - so voila, it's now part of posterity. And I am jealous, but my time in San Francisco is coming eventually. Goodnight!

he always holds the door but i found him in a mosh pit

I'm v. v. tired, which is always how I feel after driving back to Colorado. The combination of the drive (which was rough on my still-healing calf, although I think it'll be okay if I'm careful), the interminable miles across Nebraska, and the return to altitude after several weeks away leaves me feeling dehydrated and almost hungover.

That said, today was as good as the reentry day can be. I woke up this morning and got on the road pretty quickly, thanks to the fact that I had leftover Casey's pizza and a Starbucks coffee drink in the motel minifridge so that I didn't have to deal with finding food when I left. I did end up stopping in North Platte for gas, which was a bit of a jhoke because the pump was going so slow that it was taking a minute per gallon (well, actually, 54sec per gallon - I timed it). So I left with only four gallons, grabbed a coffee, and drove to Colorado, where I stopped in Sterling (I think) for more gas and another drink.

I made it home around 12:30pm MDT, unloaded everything from my car, and promptly spent most of the afternoon lounging in bed. I knew that the likelihood that I would feel like doing anything this afternoon was slim, so rather than fighting it, I just changed into some shorts, opened my balcony door to air out my room, and lazed. I spent an hour talking to [censored], who was on his way back to [censored], since we hadn't had enough conversation the last few weeks (and also [censored]'s drive is almost five hours, which is shorter than mine but still can use some phone call distraction to get through it). I messed around on my phone and sort of napped. All in all, it was a lovely, lazy, blurry afternoon, and it was what I needed.

I did rally in time to order dinner from my favorite Indian place (which was strangely not as good as usual), and I did two loads of laundry and unpacked a bunch of stuff. And then I ended the night with a family zoom call - we were overdue for a call. Adit, John, Jess, Claude, Sam, Ritu, and Bill all showed up, so we were only missing Chandlord (and Priyanka, but it was 11pm on the east coast when it started, so Adit was willing to stay up but Priyanka is forgiven). Everyone seemed to be in fine form, and we got to admire Claude's baby, discuss random people none of us have seen in years, watch John eat some birthday cheese, discuss property values and building material costs (a favorite topic for me and [censored], so I had info to share), etc., etc. All in all people were in fine form and it was a delightful way to end the weekend, even if I should have slept two hours ago.

And on that note, it's time for bed - goodnight!

dig deep, can't hide from the corners of my mind

It was a v. nice four-day weekend [editor's note: that's partially a lie; it was a four-day weekend, but it was only somewhat nice rather than v. nice]. Today was a bit more relaxing than yesterday, mostly because I willed it to be so - I slept a little later, wrote in my journal while nursing my coffee, played some word games on my ipad to relax, and generally tried to unwind a bit. I probably should have gone for a walk, but it was cold out, so I mostly chilled in my room.

This evening, I made the rather grandiose plan to cook two stir-frys at once, neither of which I'd made before. This was a delicate balance, since I had to prep ingredients for both, get the rice going, make sure I knew which bits of tings and which sauces were going into which pan, etc. Luckily [censored] hung out with me while I cooked and was the perfect sous chef (and by that I mean he occasionally handed me iced tea spoons and also made jokes).

But despite the complications of cooking two main dishes, dinner was banging, if I do say so myself. I made a Mongolian beef that I will absolutely make again, and a cashew chicken stirfry that I would also make again (although I might experiment with some different sauce options). The beef was a real winner - I almost quadrupled the recipe so that we would have leftovers, but we hit it pretty hard tonight. This recipe made for super tender beef (if you slice the flank steak correctly and sear it without overcooking - if you don't, sorry, it will be inedible) and the sauce was delightful.

So, I was pretty pleased with how it all turned out, even if it took longer than planned and ended up on the table later because my parents had company (people around here are slowly hearing what's going on with Dad, which means more visitors and more calls). After we were done eating, I hung out with my dad for a bit, then cleaned up the kitchen. Just as I was wiping the counters and soaking the last pan, John called, so I took a break and talked to him for almost an hour. We hadn't talked in ages and ages, so it was really nice to catch up. Jess also took a turn on the phone to say hi; hopefully I'll make it to California for an extended trip this summer, since we are long overdue for some in-person engagement.

So, talking to John and Jess made my heart lighter, which was much needed and appreciated. Then I finished washing that last pan, messed around online, and generally procrastinated on going to bed. But I suppose sleep would be a good idea since I have to work tomorrow - goodnight!

all my favorite songs are slow and sad

I'm back in Denver, after the v. sad realization that the only states I've been in in almost a year are Colorado, Iowa, and Nebraska. Colorado and Iowa are great, but I hate driving across Nebraska (and yet it continues to be my destiny). This is the one-year anniversary of my last week in California, and it feels like a lifetime ago....

sssanyway. Things seemed to be going well when I said my farewells to my parents this morning, so hopefully my dad stays on the mend. I left them with the threat that if I have to come back to cook for them, I'm cooking garbanzo beans, so hopefully that's some motivation. After I packed up my car and ate some breakfast and said goodbye to my parents, I hit the road - the drive is officially ten hours and twenty minutes, but I think I lost fifteen minutes because I stopped four times, so it was more like ten hours and thirty-five minutes. Usually I speed just enough to almost keep up the pace, but still, I feel like I made pretty good time.

The drive grows ever more boring since there is nothing new to see, but I had a long chat with [censored], so that helped. I also listened to an audiobook called CHATTER by Ethan Kross - it's about our internal monologues and how to reshape them (which is key, since my internal monologue veers mostly between arguing with coworkers + being worried about not writing enough + tallying up my quarantine stockpiles). It was really interesting and sort of made me wish I'd gone into neuroscience after undergrad - and it was a good audiobook to listen to while drowning out my internal monologue on the drive.

When I got home, I dragged most of my stuff inside, ordered Indian takeout, and took a quick shower. Then I had a family dinner zoom - we hadn't talked in weeks, so when John suggested a zoom tonight, we all showed up. Priyanka didn't join, and Sam was offscreen, but otherwise it was a full quorum: Claudia (aka Santy), Chandlord (aka Vidya), John and Jess, Adit wearing a v. fashionable sweatshirt, and Ritu and Bill (+ a very creepy doll that Bill left on screen as a placeholder before they could actually join). We had much to discuss, which was accomplished, and we also went a little too deep on discussions of influencers and SPACs and how to wipe off a cake.

And now, I'm completely wiped out and need to sleep since I have to work tomorrow - goodnight!

and now my problems got problems of their own 'cause they're growing up

I had a really delightful Thanksgiving, which might not have been expected given that I didn't go anywhere or see anyone. But I definitely made the most of it. I slept in a bit (but not too much), then spent the morning messing around the house, eating, showering, etc. I then spent the afternoon mostly putting up a Christmas tree - I've never put up a Christmas tree of my own volition before, although I was coerced into several by Terry. Given that 2020 is truly a weird year and it's important to find all the joy you can, I bought a tree - a relatively small (i.e. not very girthy, since I have no room for a large tree) prelit fake one, which looks pretty good despite being small and fake. I spent most of the afternoon 'trimming' it, as ye olde Victorians would say - since I'd never had a tree before, I also had to buy ornaments, but I'm pretty happy with the assortment that I acquired over the last few weeks. I also hung up some Waterford crystal ornaments that I bought in Ireland like fourteen years ago and never had a place to hang, and they look great. And I bought an ornament that is a merman, which is totally ridiculous and yet I love it.

In between trimming sessions, I took a walk while it was still daylight out and called my parents to wish them a happy thanksgiving. I also took a break to make dinner - I made a potato fennel gratin from Barefoot Contessa that turned out super good (although weirdly undersalted - I usually trust her recipes, but I should have trusted my instincts on this one and quadrupled the salt), along with pork chops and brussels sprouts. Not exactly a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, but a very tasty one nonetheless. And I tested out a blended margarita with cranberry juice (and cute cranberries and mint on top as a garnish), which was a total winner.

After all that, and after finishing the tree, it was 8:45pm and I could have just curled up with a book and gone to bed. Instead, I kept the festivities going for the last few hours - we had a family dinner Thanksgiving, in which "family" = "my college friends". It happened by accident, since Jess meant to set up a zoom for her actual family and accidentally invited us instead, but when she caught the mistake we turned it into a real zoom for us anyway.

Of course, the conversation was utterly ridiculous. There were some shocking revelations, including Jess getting bitten by rat mites for the past few years (apparently rat mites are translucent and the size of a period, and apparently they had rats in their attic, and apparently an exterminator ran into the house with a handgun of the bb variety and shot a bunch of the rats). We also learned about raccoon latrines, which I did not know were a thing. We learned about a book called 'All Joy and No Fun', which Jess is reading about parenting. We learned about Adit's ongoing credit/debit card fiasco in a choose your own adventure where nothing actually happened. We learned that Adit's children want to sleep with Priyanka every night, but see sleeping with him as a punishment. We learned that Ritu was at work, but Bill still dialed in from bed, where he mostly judged who had the best joke (Vidya was in the lead for a poop joke, but Jess had a surprise zinger that I have now forgotten but that encouraged her to leave the call on top). We learned that Claudia's cat excels at killing mice, and Claudia's baby excels at crying. We learned that if you dial into Zoom from your phone, everyone on the call can tell when you switch away from the Zoom to look at something else online because your camera turns off. We learned that Priyanka has been engaging in retail therapy, which I sympathize with since that's my only therapy too. And anyway, since I am wearing a nap dress that I bought solely because I loved hers and succumbed to the instagram marketing, I can never judge anyone for their covid spending habits.

There were other shocking revelations, and other not-shocking revelations, and it was all quite entertaining. But now, Thanskgiving is over (although my gratitude is not!) and I need to sleep - goodnight!

nothing hurts like your mouse

Today was good, but long and full of zooms. I woke up and had a v. leisurely morning with coffee and journaling, etc. And I made some tasty acelgas guisadas, which is basically just stewed tomatoes, onions, potatos, and chard - I make it every once in awhile as a bed for poached eggs, and it hit the spot today.

The afternoon was then consumed with a variety of catch-ups - I talked to my parents first, which was unusually early, but I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to catch up. Then I talked to Veronica; we hadn't talked in weeks, so we were v. overdue. Then, almost immediately after that I talked to Terry - we did a phone call instead of a zoom because everyone is zoomed out, and it was lovely.

Then I took a break, ate some takeout thai food, messed around, took a nap, etc. And I ended the evening with a family dinner zoom in honor of Adit's birthday; Marina was a surprise special guest. Vidya won best jhoke for a truly terribly joke about all the mink that died of covid (coatvid), which she only won because there were no other jokes. Adit and Priyanka claimed to be in a local maxima, but everything they discussed seemed pretty minima - they won 'worst problem', which was that they had a mouse staring at them and eating one of their doors through most of the call.

You can catch up on the rest of the topics with the chat transcript, which was used to catch people up as they joined late:

[in regards to Adit's birthday] Adit’s parents ordered cake
Sister ordered cupcakes
Priyanka bought flowers for the photos
They have a mouse

John bought a dinghy

Marina had to teach online bc the Colorado college students all have covid

John and Jess’s kid is still in backyard school

Bill is wearing plaid pants

The mouse is eating through the door
it’s like a zombie mouse
trying to get to them

Ritu and Bill bought a house
but they can’t get out of their lease
one road in, one road out (same road, as Bill said)

oh yeah - John’s new dinghy has a hole in it
The term 'dinghy' is a loanword from the Bengali ḍiṅgi, Urdu ḍīngī, and Hindi ḍieṁgī

They hired a professional [to get rid of the mouse]
$1000

a dingo is not a dinghy

Pls vote for coated!!! coatvid

We also discussed nap dresses and nap suits, Priyanka's problem with mopping floors, how Adit's best birthday was the one he didn't spend with any of us, Bill's parents' house sitting unattended in Georgia (if you need somewhere to break in), paddleboarding, air quality in the bay area, etc. Pretty standard, and pretty low energy if we're all being honest. But seven months into quarantine, everyone is pretty low energy, so I guess that's what you get.

And now I need to sleep - goodnight! 

sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tear

 It is 1:12am, which means my goal of smoothly transitioning back into work bedtimes is behind schedule. Today was v. lovely, though. I woke up this morning in time to write for a bit, which went decently well. Then I took a previously-scheduled hiatus to meet with someone from work - he's the person who I delegated most of my stuff to, and he's out next week when I come back, so we decided to sync up today just to make sure I'm aware of what's happening. Sounds like everything went decently smoothly, and so while I'm sure there are surprises lurking in my inbox, hopefully I shall survive them.

Then I had two house things scheduled - a plumber to check the leak in my bathtub (which I've ignored for months because it doesn't always drip if I turn the handle just right) + hook up my new gas grill, and someone to measure my master bedroom shades so I can replace them with something that is actually a shade instead of a thin piece of mesh. They were both surprisingly early - the plumber was an hour early (so I had to pause my work meeting), and the shade guy showed up before his two-hour slot. The plumber is coming back Monday to fix the tub, but he was able to hook up the gas grill v. v. quickly; the shade guy was quick and efficient, so hopefully I can figure that out in the next couple of weeks as well.

Since that was all over before noon, I had some unexpected time on my hands. So I ate lunch, then went to a local cheese shop and bought some v. delicious cheeses; I also stopped in at my liquor store and bought Fernet, which is the official drink of San Francisco. I don't like it, but I guess I was homesick. I also bought another half-bottle of champagne and some more Aperol for future Aperol spritzes, because why not. Then I came home, put tings away, and prepped some food for tomorrow.

I then spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning, tidying, throwing things away, etc. And then around 5:30, Sarah-Frances came over - we're coworkers, but we had a potential friendship before we became coworkers, so I feel like it's fair game. She came back from maternity leave exactly two days before I went on vacation, so we were overdue for a catch-up, and my patio is ideally situated for social distancing. We ate cheese, drank bourbon cocktails (with Fernet - the other reason I bought Fernet is because I remember she likes it, but she discovered it in Argentina instead of SF), ordered v. delicious Thai food, and drank wine with dinner. It was delightful to hang out, and she stayed until after dark, and it all almost, kind of, not quite felt normal.

After she left, I texted a photo of the Fernet bottle to the family and suggested doing shots, which turned into a zoom call to check in on each others' local minima. For a zoom call at 10pm MDT / 9pm PDT with 20min notice, turnout was steller; Adit and Priyanka joined (Adit for local minima reasons, Priyanka to talk to me about nap dresses), as did John and Jess (whose local minima was the worst of the night), Chandlord, Ritu Rani, and Ritu Rani's naked baby. We discussed a wide variety of topics over the course of two hours, including local minima, nap dresses, the British royal family, the San Francisco housing market, politics and truth and how screwed we all are, sandwiches, the ability of toddlers to button clothes, and a variety of other tings.

So, that was all v. restorative (or at least as restorative as a late-night zoom call can be). And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

wind chimes

Today was lovely - except for the fact that I woke up and discovered that my torso is covered with chigger bites from yesterday's efforts to mortar the cave. This is unfortunate, since chigger bites last for days. But despite being surly (and itchy) from that, I persevered - I got up, got ready, and the spend the morning taking care of tings around the house.

Sometime around eleven, Aunt B and Uncle B showed up with stuff to give to us (note: my mother's basement is coming a chair graveyard; we already have too many and this haul just added six more to the collection. But we had a lovely couple of hours together - my parents made brats, and baked beans, and five cup salad (which involves fruit and coconut and sour cream, just trust me).

After they were gone, I sat around, did some desultory stuff, and said goodbye to [censored]. The evening progressed through multiple rounds of sitting outside + several western movies (mostly for my dad), and ended up a semi-impromptu family dinner. Ritu (and a sleeping Bill), John/Jess, Chandlord, and Claudia/Sam all dialed in, and it was pretty much the same as usual. We especially went deep on nap dresses, slugs (especially slugs named Naner), snails (which are destined to eat Jess's garden, sleeping patterns of infants, yawning (fake, real, and suppressed), etc. So, it was lovely to see them all - but now I've been falling asleep in my chair for the last thirty minutes, so I need to go to bed. Goodnight!

so many problems, you can take your pick

Man, what a day.

I got up earlier than I have been because my dad's company was taking an online safety training for an upcoming job and I was tech support. [censored] and I have a strict division of tech support labor - [censored] supports wired tech and I support wireless. Since we determined the best way to run this training was to use my laptop to cast to a chromecast/tv, that made it a wireless problem. So I made coffee, set things up, and was generally around in case any problems happened. I probably had a better morning than the guys who had to sit through a safety training, but it was still an unusual way to spend my Friday morning.

I then spent the afternoon relaxing after such an onerous activity - and by that I mean I read Twitter obsessively, got sad/angry, took a nap, and then repeated that cycle. The news coming out of Minneapolis (and Louisville, and Georgia, and the many other places where black people are basically murdered by cops who can claim they were just doing their jobs and/or afraid, with no repercussions regardless of how clearly they're violating people's rights) is awful; we seem to be headed for another summer of 1968, this time in a pandemic, and with a political climate that is going to incite the worst behavior Americans can unleash on each other. So yeah, not feeling totally good right now, tbh.

But I rallied because we had some family photos scheduled for tonight. [censored] and I had arranged them as a Christmas present, so a photographer came out to take our photos. I think it went really well - the photographer was lovely and hilarious, and she caught some great moments, and the weather was totally perfect for an evening in my mom's flowers and my dad's rock formations. The photographer also spilled some hot gossip, which I'm always here for....so, all in all, it was a lovely evening and I'm super glad we did it.

After the photos wrapped up, Jess texted me asking for an impromptu family dinner, which I duly organized. Ritu had told us that a girl we went to college with had died suddenly (unclear why), and Jess had known the girl's mom pretty well through a strange twist of fate related to working in the same company, so it was a bit of a shock. So, Jess/John, Adit/Priyanka, Claudia/Sam, and Claudia's two-month-old joined a family dinner zoom - it was v. late in Iowa, but v. welcome that we can usually make an impromptu family dinner work whenever someone is feeling like a local minima.

So we chatted for ages, and it was v. lovely and left me feeling happy. And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!