any wrong you do he's gonna see

I'm so so tired. Last night, as you may have predicted, was rough - I got five hours of sleep in Katie's guest room, almost all of which was fitful and disturbed, before waking up at seven and dragging myself out of the house like some kind of thief. The only thing I stole, though, was whatever still lurked in my liver, so she should thank me for taking it so that she didn't imbibe it all herself.

I got back to my airbnb and promptly took a nap, then showered and finished packing and cleaned up and vacated around ten. I had to drive to the airport then - my friend Sarah, whom I met in Bali, came out to spend the next week here, and so I picked her up at the airport so that we could commence our reunion as early as possible. First up was brunch at Revelry - it was super tasty, but we were both regretful that we didn't get the baked potato with lobster and bacon, since that seems like a much better idea than huevos rancheros (even if huevos rancheros are statistically proven to end my hangovers faster than any other).

Then we found our airbnb and checked in - it's a super cute, surprisingly spacious two-bedroom Craftsman style house about a mile from Katie's, and I'm already in love. We immediately left again to stock up on groceries, but we were both in dire need of naps (Sarah flew from the east coast and I was still recovering from Katie), so we each got a bit of sleep before getting ready.

Our evening activity was a girls' night out with Katie. We went to Lola, which is an upscale hipstery Mexican place - the guac was great, my chicken enchiladas were excellent and unusual, and my (three) spicy jalapeno margaritas were perfect. Well, the one that came out tasting like we'd been baited and switched with cucumber wasn't perfect, but they remade that round for us, so #noregrets.

Of course, any time two or more Iowans get together, we are required by law and custom to reminisce about our home state as much as possible (Ritu and Bill and anyone who has had the misfortune of dining with us can attest to that). So, Sarah got to hear allllll sorts of stories about #smalltownlife - religion, water quality, a crazy gay dude evading property taxes, etc., etc.

We eventually vacated Lola and went around the block to Linger, where we sat on the roof deck and had frosé (apparently a thing now and I'm too old for this shit). It was surprisingly chilly for Denver tonight, but it was still gorgeous up on the roof, and we joked a lot about Walker Texas Ranger (as one does). Also, Katie and I strung together the perfect long joke about the dude who was farting next to me, Pa Ingalls, and fever and ague - you had to be there, but I'm recording it here so that future biographers will wonder what magic they missed.

And now I'm too exhausted to keep typing - but it was a super fun night, made even more fun by the fact that Katie and Sarah liked each other and so I didn't have to kill one of them to support the other. What a relief. Goodnight!

i keep on falling in and out of love with you

My time in Bali is drawing to a close, and it doesn't feel real yet - but I must get up in four hours to go to the airport, at which point my wine headache and lack of sleep will probably make it feel very, very real.

Today was an exercise in saying farewell - I got up early because I couldn't sleep, and I spent the morning working on the roof deck for the last time while drinking a flat white and trying not to miss the place before it's gone. Then I spent several hours packing - it was made easier by the fact that I just have to throw everything into bags, but it still required some organization skills. And then I spent an hour eating a burger and drinking wine and reading a book at Element (see: saying farewell). I then needed to go to the supermarket to hit up an ATM and buy some wine for tonight, but it was the hottest day we've had since I've been here and I was thoroughly melted already, so I hired my favorite motorbike guy to drive me there, wait five minutes, and bring me back. #missionaccomplished

Then I spent the rest of the night saying farewell to people. I also traded sunscreen for a skirt, which was the kind of bartering that can only happen in these odd serendipitous travel situations. A few of us toured each other's rooms (a weird shadow of the night when Clayton, Sarah and I toured each other's rooms, but Clayton has been gone so long that the people on this tour never knew his name...), and I pawned off some stuff that I was getting rid of (no need for spray sunscreen in London!), and then I took Rachel's skirt from her, which felt like I was getting a better end of the bargain.

And then we ate in the kitchen downstairs - Xavier cooked, using ingredients and a recipe prepared by Eka (one of the women in the cafe who had the day off and made this for us Blue Apron-style). Several people also had the same idea of contributing wine, and we all bought the same kind, so there were like six bottles of wine + a box of the same wine, and I got very happily buzzed. And I said goodbye to all my favorite people, and we planned my presidential campaign (it is perhaps ill-advised to start a presidential campaign with three Americans, two Russians, a French guy, an American-Chinese dual citizen, an Indonesian, and a bunch of Canadians, but they quickly said I could go for world president (and the French guy, Xavier, bowed out because 'the French are useless'), so campaigns have gotten off to worse starts, I guess). We also listened to auctioneering recordings on YouTube, waded in the pool to cool off, had a sidebar convo in the laundry room where I unveiled my master detective skills about the people around us (luckily Tamara and Fenny had both been drinking as well, so they were duly impressed), and generally had my favorite kind of night.

But now I'm desperate to close my eyes for a few hours - and then the journey begins again. Goodnight!

tryna rain, tryna rain on the thunder, tell the storm i'm new

I spent today saying goodbye to Ubud. That meant taking some much-needed time to myself and exploring new things (mostly shopping) + saying goodbye to favorites. First up was breakfast with Fenny (the community manager I've befriended) at Elephant. We walked down the crazy footpath with the ravine on one side, which I won't miss, and then I had an iced coffee frappe, which I will miss.

We also had a long, very interesting discussion about religion and politics and culture - she grew up in Java and Sumatra and is Muslim (like the majority of Indonesia, although Bali is predominantly Hindu), but even though her mom just made the pilgrimage to Mecca, she is not strict in her own beliefs (yes to alcohol, no to veils). And she doesn't have a lot of patience for the way some of the hardline Muslims are using religion to rile up their constituents against certain politicians who are predominantly ethnic Chinese, and whom there is a lot of jealousy against because some of the Chinese descendents (who have been in Indonesia for a long time) have become quite rich - there's an issue going on right now with the mayor of Jakarta, who is Chinese/non-Muslim, and a hardline Muslim group who is trying to bring him down by accusing him of blasphemy.

And here, again, it feels like more of a divide between rural and urban than it actually does between religion or morality, and Indonesia's democracy, with its melting pot of multiple religions and ethnicities and languages, seems to face very similar challenges to America's. And in a lot of cases, I think political parties pay lip service to a specific set of beliefs (whether it's the evangelical movement or progressive politics) in a cynical attempt to gain votes and stay in power - they can rile up the base during the election, and then ignore them until it's time to go back to the ballot box.

sssanyway. That wasn't the most coherent couple of paragraphs I've ever written, but I need to go to bed asap - I haven't been sleeping well because I've got too much on my mind, and I have to upload my book in seventeen days and I'm not done, and I have to go to London this weekend. So moving on from Fenny (whom I adore), I spent part of the afternoon shopping for souvenir-type things that I hadn't bothered to buy the rest of the time I was here (a great leather purse, a couple of figurines, etc.). I also went to Seniman and wrote for a bit. I got an impromptu foot/hand reflexology massage, which I adored.

And I ended up at Night Rooster by myself - it's the bar associated with Locavore (home of the incredible meal I had a couple of weeks ago), and it's very nearly as good as Locavore itself. Both of my cocktails were great (I preferred one, called Ashes, way more; the other one was a bit of an ordering mistake on my part since it was too sweet, but Ashes had rye whisky and a burning pinecone next to it, and you'll just have to trust me when I say it was perfection in a glass). I also had shepherd's pie, which I realized in retrospect was a weird dish to transition between Indonesia and London...and then I had the 'd.i.y. indo mie', which was a noodle dish with a duck egg and some duck, to which you added your own mix of chili sauce/soy/peanuts. It was also incredible - I ate every single bite of both dishes, and tried to scrape every last bit of flavor off the bowls.

Then I came back to Roam, did a load of laundry, and talked to Lisa, Tess, and Fenny while I waited for it to be done. And now I am going to bed - goodnight!

recapture the rapture

I'm soooo sleepy - today was good, all in all, but I'm ready to crash. I woke up early (for me), took a shower, and spent an hour on the roof talking to my parents - the weather is improving (in other words, there's less rain), and so I took advantage of the sunny skies to sit on a lounge chair and get some morning sun before the heat became too intense.

Then I packed up my stuff and went to Yellow Flower, where I ate and drank coffee and wrote for a couple of hours. Then I came back, rested, and wrote some more while eating some nasi goreng (only three more days of nasi goreng!). Then I rested again. And then I dragged Erin to Pacha Mama so that I could enjoy one last meal there - we lounged on one of the sofas, ate delicious vegetarian mexican, and talked about writing and novels, and travel, which was great.

Then we walked back, and I ditched her along the road to pop in to Element and have a drink with Tamara - I'd avoided drinking at Pacha Mama, but I decided one last glass of wine at Element (if it's the last glass) would be good. We talked for quite awhile before heading back, and when I got here I realized the washing machine was free, so I decided to do laundry despite the hour. That resulted in a lot of time spent hanging around the kitchen doing nothing...although my conversation with Olia (a Russian who teaches English and also is very very into yoga) was great, and I enjoyed bantering with Xiao and Meg (don't bother to learn any of these names, because in three days I'll be going elsewhere and there will be a whole new cast of characters to introduce).

But now my laundry is done (although still damp for dumb reasons), and I must sleep so I can accomplish allll the things tomorrow - goodnight!

sugar coma

Nothing to report - I got up late because I'd stayed up late, and then I had lunch at Juno's, and then I wrote all afternoon. For dinner, I went with several people (including a new person, since apparently I have to keep making friends right up to the last moment) to Room4Dessert, which was tasty (again), but took waaaay too long. We ordered some regular food to start, and then we shared the 'full tasting', which was all nine desserts on the list - and rather than bringing them out smorgasbord style, they brought each dessert one at a time, with 10-15mins between each one, which took forever (so long we had to call our taxi and tell him not to come yet).

And then we got home, and I wrote for another hour, but I've hit the wall hard and need to sleep. Goodnight!

put my thing down, flip it and reverse it

I had an amazing time at my silent retreat - so amazing that I can't really put it into words. And also, I am desperate to sleep - it's 10:23pm, but I went to bed by nine for the last three nights because there were basically no lights in the retreat (it was solar powered, so I could read with a reading lamp, but that gets old), so I've hit my wall for the day. Also, I left the retreat and returned straight into eight hours of socializing, which was too much (albeit good).

So you're going to have to wait for a recap - just suffice it to say that the retreat was incredible, the location was stunning, the food was great (I never knew how much I liked curried cassava until now), I was glad I smuggled in some caffeinated tea, and I'm already trying to figure out when I can go back for a week. But now I need to sleep, and enjoy the air conditioning + the fact that I can't hear any frogs/birds/insects making a glorious cacophony (the humans were all silent, but the jungle did not get the memo). Goodnight!

looking for clues at the scene of the crime

IMPORTANT PROGRAMMING NOTE: there will be no further blog posts until Friday evening, 17 February (Bali time - that's approximately Friday morning in the US). I am leaving for a silent retreat tomorrow and will be offline for three days, which is the longest I'll be without internet since the day I got my smartphone (and possibly since somewhere around 1996). I am excited and ready to disconnect, but I'm sorry that you won't hear the minutiae of each day until I get back.

I spent the day mostly working - nothing too exciting, although I spent some time doing some personality stuff and talking to Lisa about it (Lisa is certified to coach on some of this stuff and has some great insights, especially since it turned out that four of my top five strengths on the assessment I did overlap with hers). No more on that yet - I need to do some meditating on it while I'm off being silent in the jungle.

I then spent the evening having a solo dinner with Sarah - I'm leaving for my retreat tomorrow and she's leaving to go back to the US before I get back, so we had to say our goodbyes tonight. We went to Naughty Nuri's first and had barbecue - it was a v. different experience than most of the places we've been going, since a) it was almost entirely meat, and b) it was more open to the elements, more rustic/old school, and full of meaty smoke from the barbecue set up out front. But it was super tasty - I had a hot dog, of all things, and my fries were great, and the margarita was surprisingly wonderful.

Then we went next door to Room4Dessert, which we hadn't remembered was there - Sarah had wanted to try it, and we realized by accident that we were right next to it. That turned out to be incredible - the space is really cool, and their dessert menu is decadent and interesting, and they have a fantastic-looking cocktail list. We had wine instead, but that was also tasty, and our two desserts (a chocolate creme brulee and something called 'Whisky, Torture, Turgenev', which I ordered solely for the name bc I like Russian authors and whisky and torture) were both outstanding. There was an American woman working there, which was also interesting, and so we chatted her up when we weren't busy talking to each other.

Then we came home, which was an experience - the motorbike guys who had taken us there came back to pick us up, but at that point the rains had arrived, so I put on the poncho one of them handed me (which was more heavy duty than my jacket) and we set off. I don't know how they see anything, since the rain was driving into my eyes and blinding me, but it was an exciting adventure and I made it back in one piece. Then Sarah and I sat on the roof and talked for a couple more hours and generally tried to make peace with the fact that we're about to part ways and go back to our regularly scheduled other lives. This is the downside of summer friends.

But now I need to sleep - I have a bunch of stuff I want to do tomorrow before I go offline, and I also need to pack and eat something before I go. Goodnight!

it's raining men

It's not raining men, but it was certainly raining enough today to sound like little men were hitting the roof at terminal velocity. This was one of the wettest days we've had here, I think - it started raining sometime midmorning and basically didn't stop. I'm going a bit stir crazy, since I spent the whole day working on the roof (although I slept last in deference to the fact that I didn't get enough sleep the night before). But the writing that I got done was good, and the business work was also good, and I also took a break to talk to Sarah (of course), and I also did laundry, so #noregrets.

At six, I had a side meeting with Sarah, Xavier, and Tamara - we're in early discussions to potentially come back to Bali later in the year and rent a villa. I'm personally not in any position to commit yet...while I'm definitely enjoying significant elements of the nomadic lifestyle, I'm not positive yet that I'll still be enjoying it by the end of the year. But I've been more productive this past month than I was for most months of last year, and there's a lot to be said for that. And I'd like to come back to Bali when it's not the rainy season - and there's a major writing festival here at the end of October, which is appealing. But we at least agreed to what we'd theoretically want to spend and where we'd theoretically want to look - the idea is that we could have some places in mind (and possibly have one of us actually look at a couple), and then confirm it when we get a little closer and can make some real decisions.

sssanyway. Chances are I'll come back to the US and decide that I need to live someplace with a desk and friends rather than traveling forever, but we'll see. Ironically, we then went out for dinner and I had a sudden introvert meltdown and had a moment where I would have happily never seen anyone I've met here ever again. But I think that's because I've done too many group things, and not enough hermity things, and the emotional stress of saying goodbye to people while also meeting new people is weighing on me. Alex and Sanj left today, which was a bummer; several other people showed up, and I spent some time trying to guess their life stories. And that all takes a very different kind of energy than talking to people whom you've known forever.

Anyway - enough of all that, it's time to go to bed. Goodnight!

i've had my fun and now it's time to

I think I had the best meal of my life tonight. I wasn't expecting it; I've had amazing, incredible culinary experiences before, and while Locavore was recently named the best restaurant in all of Asia, I didn't actually expect it to live up to the otherworldly meal I had a Momofuku in NYC, or even the likes of Gary Danko, Rich Table, or Octavia (Octavia isn't a crazy stand-out like Momofuku, but the strawberry float with homemade strawberry soda, and the Eton mess, and the deviled egg, will live on in my memory long after the rest of you have faded into the darkness of dementia).

(wow, that got bleak. let's rewind.)

I think I had the best meal of my life tonight.

Unlike everywhere else I've been in Ubud, it's essential to have a reservation for Locavore - a restaurant that is committed to the local food movement, and which also partners with local artisans to produce all of the serving dishes and other products. I managed to score a reservation for me, Sarah, Tamara, Gemma, and Xavier for eight p.m., and we all agreed to do the seven-course tasting menu with paired drinks. The paired drinks were all cocktails instead of wine, and they were some of the most inventive, interesting cocktails I've ever had.

But before we did that, we each ordered a cocktail to start. Mine was called 'trouble maker' (of course) and was served in this ridiculous wooden urn with lots of ice, a flower, a straw, and a bunch of bulleit bourbon and hibiscus - yum. But Gemma ordered the one I'd almost ordered ('into the wild'), and it was delicious - but on the side, they had a little pot of herbs which they lit on fire, and she said the cocktail was even more incredible when you sipped it with the smoke from the herbs wafting around the drink.

Then the food started, and it just kept coming. Before we even got to the first course, there were like three pre-amuse-bouches and two amuse bouches, and they were all totally incredible. There was some sort of seaweed 'pillow' with a delicious liquid inside that none of us understood but all of us loved; there was a potato fritter with some sort of sauce that I would have killed to be able to eat more of; there was a salted spinach chip that was somehow beyond my usual enjoyment of any of the base components; and there was a palate cleanser of 'bloody mary sorbet', which you will just have to trust when I say it was fucking delicious.

And then the main courses and the drink pairings started, and it was a culinary wonderland. Little touches, like spraying mushroom essence into the cocktail at the table, turned into gorgeously tasty moments. There were seven courses, but the standouts were the beef tartare, which had some accompaniments that I can't remember but that made for the best single bite of the meal; the catfish, which was laughably decadent compared to the breaded and fried (and delicious in a different way) catfish of my youth; and the slow cooked duck egg with rice, snails, garlic, frog, and wild flowers, which I could have eaten forever.

Dessert was way too much - there was the regular dessert, which was a trio of sorbets (good way to end)...and then they brought out like five more bites for each of us, including some sort of yogurt in a spoon, a chocolate cake bite, and an egg custard served inside an eggshell. So we were all totally stuffed at that point. But throughout the night, the conversation flowed, the people were lovely, and the food was delightful - so it made for an epic night. And while it was certainly decadent by any standards, the total came to <$140 each for all the food and eight drinks each, which I consider a total win.

Then we came home, and now I just want to lie in bed and rub my belly and dream of this meal, and past meals, and future meals, and how food binds us all together. The rain is falling outside, as it was when we were leaving the restaurant, and the thunder and lightning and rainfall is as soothing and exciting as the meal was...and makes me miss other summers, and other storms, and other meals, even as I wouldn't trade this one in for anything.

Other than the meal, the rest of my day was unexciting; I went to Yellow Flower with Sarah for breakfast, and then I came home and worked allllll day, with a brief break to eat some nasi goreng and chat with Katrina via whatsapp (the app of the future). [also, I just noticed that I called this place 'home'...interesting]. The work was good, in the end - I redid my whole sararamsey.com website, and it looks like it's basically launched, which is great since the old one was in dire need of a revamp and I finally figured out how to get Squarespace to do what I wanted it to do.

But now, it's definitely time for bed - real life returns tomorrow, since I will be mildly hungover, still full, and v. much in need of some writing time. Goodnight!

i can taste the dishonesty

I'm finally, truly getting back into the story - a scene that had stymied me for days suddenly came together with an unexpected arrival (as in, I didn't expect it either), so that's good news. Also, I felt better today, since I got a little overheated but never got carsick and also didn't drink any coffee made by shitting cats...so my stomach was in a better place than it was yesterday.

So, brief recap: I got up, showered, threw on some clothes, and walked into central Ubud in search of breakfast and coffee and a place to work. I ended up at Seniman, which is a lot farther away than Lazy Cats, but is also delicious - I'd been there once before, and they're definitely serious about their coffee. So I had their huevos rancheros and a perfect iced double latte, and I journaled for a bit. Then I relocated to a bigger table, pulled out my laptop, and had a cold brew coffee while writing. I was there for so long that I needed lunch as well, but the lunch I ordered was weird - it had 'square rice', which I assumed was regular rice in the shape of a square, but it had somehow been densely compressed into little squares that looked like tofu, and I was not a fan. But it fueled some more writing, so all was forgiven.

Then I walked back home, although I stopped at a jewelry store on the way and bought a ring (so necessary, I know - but it will be a good souvenir). By the time I got here, I was drenched in sweat and on the verge of overheating, so I turned on the air conditioner, drank some water, and took a nap. Then I skipped the community dinner in favor of doing more writing/work - this book ain't gonna write itself, and I'm on a tight deadline and need to focus when I'm feeling the urge to write. Also, tomorrow night I have plans for an absurdly fancy dinner, which means a) I won't be able to write tomorrow night and b) I probably also won't be able to write Friday morning, although I'll make my best attempt.

But now it's time for bed - goodnight!

where's your head at

Today went totally off the rails, so I need to go to bed and try again tomorrow. I got up early this morning so that I could go to Denpasar to renew my visa, and that was the best/most seamless part of my day - the driver picked me up at 7:45, drove me to the immigration office, and it became immediately clear that I had paid for some v. extra special expediting, since when I walked in someone handed me a number (like you pull at the DMV or a deli counter) and I was 7th in line with 20+ people waiting. I got my fingerprints and photo taken and was out of there within twenty minutes; they'll bring my passport and my extended visa back to me in a couple of days. I don't know how much my processing cost above the standard fee, but considering that I didn't have to fill out any forms or navigate any lines, it was well worth it.

I then asked the driver if he could drop me at Lazy Cats instead of my hotel on the way back, since I needed to work. This was no problem for him, but since I'd mentioned that I like coffee, he suggested that I try the famous luwak coffee on the way back. I knew this was a trap - it's the lowest of the low season for tourism right now and all the drivers/shops/restaurants are politely desperate, and I'm guessing he got some sort of kickback for taking me there. However, I'd had 'try luwak coffee' on my possible to-do list, so I decided to roll with it.

Luwak coffee, for those of you who are still blessedly unaware, is coffee made from beans that were eaten by a wild civet cat, which partially digests them before shitting them out. The beans are then collected, washed (hopefully), and turned into some of the most expensive coffee in the world. The place we stopped was obviously a tourist trap - they had two coffee bushes/trees of different varieties, a couple of ginger, lemongrass, aloe, pepper, and other plants, an elderly woman half-heartedly roasting a few beans, etc. My guide/waitress later confided that the coffee can't be grown there anyway because it's too hot. She was also an expert at getting me to feel guilty about how much money I have, but I tipped her anyway because she was funny and I enjoyed talking to her.

So I tried all the teas/coffees (free tasting! of course), and then paid for a cup of the luwak coffee. It was not very good. I like my coffee with milk anyway, and I really couldn't tell much difference between that and the usual Balinese coffee on the island (which I also find to be a little harsh/unenjoyable compared to Sumatran/Javan coffees).

After I parted ways with the coffee lady, my driver drove me the rest of the way back to Ubud. I should have gone home instead of Lazy Cats, because I was already way too overheated and vaguely carsick. But I went to Lazy Cats, tried to work, and utterly failed.

Then I went to a massage at Tamarind - I got a hot stone massage, which I wouldn't have booked if I'd known two weeks ago that this was going to be one of the hottest days of my trip. The massage was excellent, but the stones were a little too hot, and I have some suspicious red marks like tiny burns in a couple of sensitive locations. However, I would totally recommend the place despite that - but try to be cool before you arrive, since hot stone massage is not a good activity for warm weather.

Then I was going to come home, but as I walked out of the spa, it started raining, so I dashed back to Lazy Cats since it was the closest nearby cafe. Sarah was there, so I talked to her, and then I eventually grabbed a cab back to my hotel.

But I ventured out against to have dinner at Element and try to write in my journal - but I've once again befriended the wait staff, so I wasn't able to write much because we were talking too much. And eventually Sarah walked by; she'd gotten completely drenched in the downpour that had happened a few minutes earlier, so she joined me and we had a lot of wine and talked for two hours and it was all beautiful.

But now I need to sleep - the day ended on a positive note, but my stomach felt gross all day (either I was still carsick, or the teas/shit coffee didn't agree with me) and I was way too fucking hot, and then way too fucking wet on the walk back, and I need to get some real work done. Goodnight!

midnight in a perfect world

Today was an experiment in trying to be more productive that didn't actually result in any additional productivity...but I was still happy, so I'll chalk it up as a minor win. I woke up at 6:45 (shocker) so that I could call my parents, but I went downstairs to make tea first and ended up spending almost an hour talking to Tamara (and making eggs for breakfast). Then I called my parents - it was around the time I usually call them back home, but that meant I kind of interrupted the Super Bowl for them (and by 'kinda' I mean 'definitely', but it was the early part).

After that, I showered and went upstairs and worked for awhile. That was successful. Then I met up with Sanj and walked to Elephant Cafe for lunch - the original plan was to go to the ATM (very necessary), have lunch (slightly less necessary, but fun and delicious), and then go to yoga. Instead, we went to the ATM, had a long lunch, and skipped yoga entirely. Sanj left a couple of hours after we got there, but I stayed and tried to work for an hour, with v. mixed results since I was falling asleep the whole time despite all the coffee I had today.

So I walked home in the brutally oppressive heat, stopping to buy a pair of earrings and a couple of dresses (having cash is dangerous). Then I spent way too much time trying to cool off in my room before showering and going upstairs to work. The first hour and a half of work was actually great, but then I started talking to Tamara, and then Sanj showed up, and we started talking about fertility (which made me want wine, which I ordered, along with some nasi goreng because I was *starving*), and that turned into two glasses of wine, and then Sanj and Tamara spent a lot of time trying to get a French guy with a manbun to realize that he needs to break up with his girlfriend asap. At some point I realized that this conversation was 'no longer serving me' (in other words, I was wasting a lot of time on something that meant basically nothing to me), so I ran away to my room.

But it's too late to write tonight - I have to get up early again tomorrow so that I can go to Denpasar (the state capital) to get my fingerprints taken for my visa renewal. Goodnight!

don't want to fall in love with you

After a sweltering day with no rain, the winds are beginning to howl outside and it feels like a storm is moving in. Yes, I've been complaining about the rain, but when it's not raining, steam rises from the ground and turns the world into a sauna. With the heat and humidity, I had an odd moment today where I could almost feel corn silk in my hands, like it was summer back home and I was shucking corn (not that I ever had to do that, since my parents usually took care of it).

But I'm not at home - I'm still in Bali, which continues to delight. I had breakfast and a long conversation with Sarah; Yellow Flower has rice pancakes, which are basically a big, thin crepe covered in bananas, coconut, and syrup, and they were completely delicious (and an odd departure for me, since I rarely have sweet things for breakfast). And Sarah and I had a lot of interesting parallels in our respective lives, so we've gotten pretty deep into our summer camp friendship.

After breakfast (which basically became brunch), I came back here and did some work, although I wasn't satisfied with what I got done. Then I got a massage, which I was v. satisfied with - it was better than either of the other massages I've had here, and was a three minute walk from the hotel (made perilous only by roosters in the rice paddies and angry dogs that seem to belong to the spa and are doing nothing for their business). Then I came home, rinsed the oil off, and took my laptop and snuck out to have a solo dinner at Element. As mentioned yesterday, I haven't been getting enough alone-time, so dinner and a glass of wine and my journal and some work on my laptop were like balm to my soul.

Then I came back and did a bit more work upstairs, but the wind kicked up and I'm feeling tired, so I think it's time to sleep. Goodnight!

romeo save me

I woke up this morning far less hungover than I deserved to be, but I definitely didn't get enough sleep last night, which made today somewhat brutal. However, I got up and showered in time to say goodbye to Clayton, who left this morning. Then I walked to Yellow Flower, where I ate a delicious omelette and messed around in my journal.

It was a gorgeous day today - it was the first sunny day without afternoon rain in at least a week, and I wanted to take advantage of it. I declined the opportunity to get in a car and go to some touristy 'traditional village' (although it sounds like it was cool), and instead said goodbye to zee Germans (who also left today, after having birthday cake for one of them) and then laid out by the pool for an hour. By the time I got out to the pool, I only got twenty minutes or so of direct sun before it slipped behind the building, but that was perfect - and I was able to lay with my feet in the water, which helped to cool off from the oppressive heat and humidity.

But I couldn't laze around all afternoon - I needed to get some writing done, so I spent the rest of the afternoon writing, eating nasi goreng, doing laundry, and having a great chat with Tamara about writing. I had intended to be a hermit and order food in and keep working tonight, since I'm reaching the (temporary) end of my tolerance for large group activities, but Sanj messaged me about dinner with her, her boyfriend Alex, Sarah, Tamara, and Saurabh. That was at the upper end of my tolerance for group size, but I like all of them and it's Saurabh's last night here (it feels like half the group is turning over this weekend), so I agreed.

Unfortunately, though, the six of us suddenly turned into twelve - two other people joined us, and when we got to Pacha Mama, we found four more people from the hotel who had just arrived there and decided to merge with our table.  Of those six additions, I can't stand one of them and find two of them super weird and possibly crazy, so that put a sudden damper on my mood. Also, it was live music night, which added a layer of noise on top of my grated nerves (although I really enjoyed watching this one man-bun-wearing yoga-type dude request 'Wonderwall' from the band and have his own little groovefest in his head while listening to them). But I maneuvered myself to sit with most of the group I came with (throwing Tamara to the wolves, alas), so I mostly managed to enjoy the conversation. And I refrained from drinking anything despite my annoyance, so I'm hoping I can get a good night's sleep and hit the work hard tomorrow.

Anyway, that's all a very long way of saying that I need some me-time. I genuinely like so many of the people here, and my #fomo means I don't want to say no to dinners - but I also don't like large group activities. And because we've all discovered the same 'best things' nearby, it means that when I do go out by myself, I tend to run into people - I saw Sarah and another couple at Yellow Flower this morning (and said I didn't want to join them when they invited me), and I saw Clayton both times I went to Lazy Cats this week, and that makes it hard to get away.

But this is a real #firstworldproblem - on the whole, I'm really glad that this has lived up to my hopes so far in terms of meeting people and making friends and learning new things. But I think I need a day off from friendship...and I intend to get it tomorrow. Goodnight!

gotta break loose cause that's the motto

Today was rather wild - or, at least, I will tell myself that tomorrow to console myself for my inevitable hangover. The morning/afternoon was quite productive - I got up, cleaned myself up, and walked to Lazy Cats so that I could get some fresh air and get some work done. On the way, I had my first bargaining experience - I bought two dresses for 150,000 rupiah (which is $11), after the guy opened with 99,000 for one of the dresses and I counter-offered 150k for two. Perhaps I got ripped off, since he accepted immediately; but I could never buy two dresses I actually like for $11 total in the US, so I walked away satisfied.

Then I went to Lazy Cats, where I did a substantial amount of writing and also a substantial amount of admin work. I also talked to Claudia (aka Santy Claude), which was delightful. It started raining at some point, and it kept raining for hours, so eventually I was forced to walk back in the drizzle so that I could shower and get ready for tonight's main event...

...which was drinks at the Four Seasons to celebrate Clayton's birthday/going-away. You all know that I'm a fancy bitch and I love the Four Seasons, and this place was next-level gorgeous - the bar looked out over a perfectly groomed tropical jungle, and the drinks were perfect. So, because they were perfect, I had four (as did Clayton). Sarah and Clayton and I went early to secure a space and hang out in a quieter setting, and I felt like such a lady ridding sidesaddle on a motorbike over there (in deference to my dress, since I couldn't straddle my motorbike taxi guy without looking supremely inappropriate). But a bunch of other people showed up over the course of the evening, and we were pleasantly surprised to see a Balinese dance performance - it felt like one of those rare, magical night when everything goes right.

When we were done, the bill came to 4.5 million rupiah (to contrast, each of my cocktails was 30k more than my two dresses this morning), so it was fun counting that huge stack of money. Then we came back to our neighborhood and had dinner at Element - I also had four more cocktails there, which was four more cocktails than I needed to have. And when we were done there, we all came home, and Sarah, Sanj, Saurabh and I sat on the roof and drank a bottle of wine.

Needless to say, I need more water and less typing, so I think it's time for bed. I'll really miss Clayton, but the nomad life requires a fickle heart and an eye toward the future, so I'll have to lay a friend trap for whoever shows up next (but typing that makes me sad, so let's pretend I didn't say it). Goodnight!

i stopped an old man along the way, hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies

Tonight took an unexpected turn. I blame the rain, which has fallen throughout the day, alternating between calming drizzle and apocalyptic downpour. I woke up relatively early this morning, showered, made myself some eggs, and then went upstairs to drink tea/work for awhile. As I was working, the first great wave of rain arrived - the wind picked up, and suddenly it was driving rain into the coworking space more aggressively than I've seen it so far. We all scattered, pulling up laptop and power cords and papers, and pulling tables and cushions away from the west 'wall' so that we could escape the rain.

But once we were all away from the open areas, work resumed. However, I took a long break to talk to Ritu - it was the first official friend chat I've had since I've been here, and it was delightful. Bill joined us, which is fine since he claims he can distill alcohol during the apocalypse for us (I'll believe it when I see it). So we caught up, and I quite enjoyed it, and they seemed to be able to hear me despite the sound of driving rain the background, so that's all good.

Then I ate some nasi goreng (the rice dish I eat all the time here), and then I worked for the rest of the afternoon. But in the evening, I took a break to have dinner with Clayton and Sarah - we went to Pacha Mama (again) because I was desperate to get out of the property, and so we skipped the community dinner. The food was delish, as usual. But I also had two glasses of wine - and then, when it suddenly started pouring and we had to switch tables to avoid getting wet, we all had a third drink. We also ordered the bananas flambe, and I was drunk enough (or social enough) to get the owner/chef to show me how to make them, which meant I got to cook them for us tableside with his oversight. I didn't set any of us on fire, so that was #winning.

Then we tried to leave and come home, but halfway here it was so wet that Sarah and I dashed into Element (abandoning Clayton) and had another drink there while we continued our conversation. Just after we dried off, we finished our drink and it was time to leave, so we ran the rest of the way. But I'm sufficiently dry now, and I need to sleep if I have any hope of being productive tomorrow. Goodnight!

so you used to shake 'em down, but now you stop and think about your dignity

Today didn't really go according to plan - I think it was the first day I had here where I felt really unproductive and was also unhappy about it. I woke up and spent way too much time online, and then I forced myself to write for a bit, but then I got distracted again. Also, I had plans for most of the afternoon - I'd booked a package at what's supposed to be one of the better spas in the area, so I was out of commission from a productivity standpoint all afternoon.

The spa was pretty good, all in all - my massage was good, and I also got a facial that was pretty delightful (except for the fact that the water she used to rinse after each product smelled like the mothballs that were everywhere in the bathrooms in India, which kind of put me off the treatment). But I ended up taking a subpar motorbike taxi ride back - I wasn't feeling real confident about the guy's driving, especially since it was drizzling and the road was slick, so I got him to drop me off at Elephant (thus avoiding having to go up a steep hill near the hotel). But while I was enjoying some coffee at Elephant, a downpour started, so I got stuck there (sans laptop) for far longer than I'd intended.

But I salvaged the night by coming home, making tea, and working for a few hours - no writing, but I sent some emails and dealt with some admin stuff. And now I'm going to sleep and hope that tomorrow is better - goodnight!

smooth operator

Today was shorter than I planned - I somehow didn't wake up until almost eleven, which was probably a good thing since I haven't been sleeping enough lately. I spent the afternoon working pretty steadily, despite my social media distractions; I also had a brief phone chat with Katie, which was way overdue, and I answered some emails and generally tried to connect with my network despite being thousands of miles and sixteen hours away.

But I slacked off at six, took a shower, and then had dinner with Clayton at Pacha Mama. Yes, we all keep going to the same three places - but Pacha Mama is so delicious, and also a three minute walk, so I have #noregrets. I branched out a bit today and got the tortilla de españa, and it was incredible - perfect eggs with some great potatoes inside, topped with a zucchini 'chorizo' that was really just highly flavored/spiced zucchini. I also had the carrot tostadas, which I've had before, and Clayton got the buffalo cauliflower (cauliflower cooked in a spicy/sweet sauce like buffalo wings, which is amazingly delicious) and the nachos, which are also perfect. And I ordered red wine, and it was surprisingly good as well. So we sat around and talked for a couple of hours, and it was nice and relaxing and delicious all at once.

It's only 10:30, but I'm going to try to go to bed and reset myself to get up earlier - I have a massage in the afternoon (rough life), so I want to work in the morning, and that means not letting myself sleep until eleven again. Goodnight!

[insert the song lyric of your choice, i'm too tired to think of one]

I was rather lazy today, all in all - I spent way too much of it going down twitter rabbit holes while consuming every bit of news I could about executive orders. But I also got off the internet and out of the hotel for a few hours - I went to Yellow Flower, where I had a truly delicious brunch (corn fritters topped with a delish array of veggies and two poached eggs) and lingered over coffee and my journal for awhile. Then I came home, did some laundry (sweating through everything all the time means my laundry needs are excessive), took another shower, and worked for a couple of hours.

But I slacked off around six to talk to some people (Nadia, whom I've mentioned before, and Eka, who works at the cafe on the roof of the hotel), and then at sevenish I went out for dinner with Clayton and Saurabh. Then I came home, consumed too much media, and called my parents for our usual Sunday catch-up (although it's way too late for me, and way too early for them - but I'll only be here another handful of Sundays before we can get to a slightly better schedule).

And now I need to sleep, since I want to get back on the writing train tomorrow - goodnight!

baby i like your style

I spent most of the day either working or walking around, and all of it sweating. I'm in a groove on the book, which is a great thing, and also trying to keep myself off social media (with limited success, since some of the news is so grim - I'm annoyed by plenty of things, but banning refugees on Holocaust Remembrance Day is horrifyingly short-sighted. Especially since that ban includes people already holding visas/green cards - green card holders are permanent legal residents, they've already gone through months/years of vetting, and I can't imagine that many of them are now trapped overseas if they were traveling for business/vacation and happened to be outside the US when the order came down. I could write a diatribe about how this goes against the very foundations of our democracy, illegally discriminating based on religion (while also, pragmatically, ignoring the fact that the US already has the most stringent immigration vetting, and that this is all 'security theatre' to make the base feel more secure without actually accomplishing anything positive).... but you're all here for a recap of what I ate, so I'll keep it suitably banal).

sssanyway. I got up, showered, and went to Lazy Cats, where I worked for several hours while enjoying a tasty omelette, a couple of coffees, and a coke. Then I went to the ATM, grabbed a snack (the first meal I've been truly disappointed in here - but it's on Monkey Forest Road, which I hadn't walked down yet but is just as touristy as I've been told), and walked back to the hotel. When I got here, I'd sweated through everything, so I cooled down and took a shower before doing a bit more work on the roof.

But I took a break at seven to have dinner with Clayton - we walked to Copper, which is a v. posh restaurant inside a v. posh hotel. The food was excellent - they brought out a menu that looked like a prix fixe list, but it became clear after I ordered one thing from each of the four courses that the server thought I'd ordered way too much. So Clayton and I shared everything (and added another starter), and it was outstanding. The starters were tuna sashimi and this corn fritter dish that was incredible; that was followed by a fish dish that was possibly the best thing I've eaten here, and I could have happily kept eating that until I was stuffed. That was followed by a beef dish and a vegetable curry that were both good, but couldn't compare to the fish. But all in all, with those dishes (plus an amuse bouche) and one cocktail each, the bill came out to $35 each, which is reason #4276 that I love it here.

Then we walked back, and I was sweaty again, so I took another shower and worked for another hour or so. And then I fell asleep while I was working, but I managed to wake myself up so that I could write this (and read the latest news on people trapped in airports, and get angry again). And now it's time for bed - goodnight!