high on the roof, thin the blood

I had a headache pretty much all day, perhaps verging on migraine-ish (although I don't know if my headaches qualify as migraines). I blame the fact that I had to stop taking my allergy meds because I have an appointment with an allergist next week, and so I woke up feeling as congested as if I had a cold, even though I do not.

I did successfully get up and write and do some stuff and go to a meeting for my mural project, so at least I was able to fake it until then. But then I came home, ate lunch, dozed, and generally deferred to my headache's desire to do nothing. I did finish reading the book I was reading last night, and it was excellent, but my headache returned in force. At some point, I decided to sit on my balcony with a blanket and my notebook and avoid looking at screens for a couple of hours - while I did not actually write, I daydreamed a lot, and my headache felt better.

Eventually, I made myself some boxed mac and cheese, which is not a dinner of champions but was better than real cooking. Then, I read a book - an on-paper book, which was better than screens, but still probably not what my headache needed. I got through 2/3 of a book called THE BOOK EATERS, which is a rather grim and depressing fantasy about some people who get all their sustenance from eating ideas (either in print form, or by sucking out people's memories). I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I will finish it because I want to know what happens. And if the last two books I read were excellent for triangulating what I want to write, this one is probably excellent for nudging me away from something that's too dark and bleak (but I think I already knew that).

And now, I need to go to sleep and hopefully get over my headache - goodnight!

maybe then i'll fade away and not have to face the facts

I slept pretty late this morning because I was up until almost two last night, but #noregrets. I poured myself some cold brew and wrote for an hour as soon as I got up, which was good for everything except my carpal tunnel. Then, I made breakfast for me and [censored] - the usual scrambled eggs and hash browns, but they were particularly tasty today.

Then, I procrastinated pretty hard for a couple of hours. But I also cleaned the kitchen and washed my sheets, so it wasn't all wasted effort. I also answered some email - not all the email I should have answered, but enough to make me feel just slightly more caught up. Perhaps I'll continue that trend tomorrow!

After that, I made supper - the semi-usual-for-Sunday burrito bowls. I added some spicy Spanish chorizo that needed used, and I increased the rice/salsa/liquids a bit because I had more chicken than usual, and it all turned out perfectly. High on that success, I decided to end the evening on that note -- and so I came up to my room and finished the book I was reading last night (INFINITY GATE). It was book one of two in a series, and the next one won't be out for a year, which is a bummer. But it was really excellent - a lot of interesting inferences on AI and personhood, with some strong characters and great writing/dialogue. I ruminated a bit on the book today - my own book has some AI elements, but it's more fantasy, whereas this was definitely pure sci-fi (despite the talking rabbit). So I'm still playing around with how I want my book to read, and it would be nice to figure it out sooner rather than later, but we'll see.

And now, I'm going to push myself toward going to bed at a relatively reasonable hour so I can get some tings done tomorrow. Goodnight!

i hate to bug you in the middle of dinner

I have v little to report - the weather is ridiculous and v cold, which has put me in a somewhat sour mood. Despite that, I did write as soon as I woke up, which was a good thing. I tried to do a bit more writing after fueling myself up with coffee and yogurt, but it was slower going - still, anything is better than nothing.

At some point, I had the last of my leftover chicken tacos for lunch. I also cleaned the living room - dusting and vacuuming aren't my favorite tasks, but at some point they have to be done. [Censored] and I grabbed takeout from the Mexican place for dinner, and we timed it pretty well to avoid the traffic related to the high school prom. And then, I considered watching some tv with [censored], but instead came upstairs and read a book. I have now stayed up at least an hour longer than intended, but the book is quite good - it's called INFINITY GATE, and it's got some interesting stuff going on with multiverses and AI that is interesting and also mildly relevant (in topic, not in storylines or voice) to what I'm working through.

I really just want to stay up and finish it, but I also have a headache and know that sleep is probably a better idea - so I'm going to do the v. adult thing and go to bed at the very civilized hour of 1:30am. Goodnight!

surrender all your dreams to me tonight, they'll come true in the end

I decided to let myself have a mostly-hermit day, which in SF means I only saw people for approximately four hours. I also looked at my fitbit, saw that my heartrate has increased by 10-12 bpm since leaving Iowa (likely thanks to wine and overstimulation), and decided to indulge my inner bougie self and check into a hotel for the night. So, I'm writing this from the top of the Fairmont, overlooking the city of sin, and likely able to write this off on my taxes because the Fairmont is weirdly part of my next book (#winning).

Anyway, I woke up this morning, gathered my tings, relocated, and had a late breakfast while doing a bit of stuff on my laptop. Then, I rendezvoused with Adit (some people call him the cat) for coffee in Potrero Hill. We discussed a lot about life and AI while I drank a flat white, and it simultaneously gave me great ideas for my book + a lot of unease about the future of humanity (+ a lot of caffeine). Then, we relocated to Tartine Manufactory, where we had a late lunch (a delish salad with endives, radicchio, blue cheese, candied walnuts, citrus, and tuna salad for me). We eventually met Claudia there, where Adit told her that my book is basically "a girl moves to Iowa and becomes a magician," which is both accurate and horribly stated in a way that makes me never want to write it.

sssanyway, it was a lovely afternoon with two of the people whom I've known for my entire adult life (I met them a week after I turned eighteen!). Then I came to the Fairmont, flush with ideas, and promptly took a nap. Then, I spent the evening writing in the hotel restaurant - I ate an overpriced steak, drank some tasty zinfandel, and wrote a lot of pages about where this book is headed. And then I read an entire novella (ALL SYSTEMS RED), written from the perspective of a 'murderbot' android in a future space world, which was v. helpful for what I'm trying to do.

And now, I'm going to continue indulging my inner hermit by sleeping as much as possible and then writing all day tomorrow before my social plans commence again. Goodnight!

the only thing that waits is overconfidence

I overslept today, but I'm okay with that - according to my fitbit, I've been getting the most sleep that I've gotten in years, which I assume is good for me? And since I'm about to head off for a couple of weeks of fun in the fog (thanks for being a cold vacation destination, Pacific Northwest/Bay Area), sleep is probably a good thing to bank right now.

Anyway, I overslept, but then I rallied, made some coffee, and made brunch for me and [censored]. We ate it while watching SNL as per usual, and as per usual it was pretty iffy - the guest host was one of the Kansas City Chiefs players, and he is most certainly not an actor, but a couple of the skits were funny enough.

Then I spent the afternoon procrastinating a bit, but I did manage to write about seven pages of my weird novel, so I'm happy with that. Then, I ate some leftover chocolate cake before making dinner - I don't do well with dessert at night, but I feel just fine eating cake before dinner, I guess. I made the usual chicken burrito bowl, but I added andouille sausage just to spice it up, and it was pretty tasty.

Then, I messed around on my phone, cleaned the kitchen, came upstairs, painted my toenails (which were looking pretty dire thanks to the lack of vanity-catering services around here), messed around with my manuscript for a bit, sent some emails, and started my packing list for my trip. And now, I need to sleep so that I can get a bunch of stuff done tomorrow - goodnight!

put apprehension on the back burner, let it sit, don't even get it lit

I had a lovely day, although it started late because I went to bed sometime after two and so got up at 10;30. I have no regrets about that, but I am trying to go to bed earlier tonight (it's only 11:48pm!). But I got up, made some tea, got ready, and got some good writing done, so I'm happy about that.

I had some leftover spaghetti for lunch, ran to the grocery store to get some broccoli, messed around a bit, and then spent most of the afternoon finalizing my tax information to send to my CPA. I did take a long break to talk to Katie, which was great (and v. overdue). And then I made dinner, which turned out perfectly - salmon teriyaki, rice, and roasted broccoli, which is v. easy and also v. delicious. While I cooked, I listened to a couple of good entreprenuer-type podcasts, which gave me the push I needed to wrap up the tax stuff and upload it. And then I celebrated by reading - I started a book called THE FINAL STRIFE, which I picked up on a whim at the bookstore in Indianola last month. So far so good, but we'll see how it goes as I get deeper into it.

And now, I need to go to bed, or at least not look at my laptop - goodnight!

treat this night like it'll happen again

I mostly accomplished what I set out to do today - I wrote seven pages, which felt pretty good, even if I still have no idea where this story is headed. I also ate leftover burrito bowls with [censored] and spent some time this afternoon getting my tax documents together - I'm not done, but I'm farther ahead than I have been the last couple of years.

Eventually, [censored] left, so I said farewell, and then I took care of a bit more online stuff before making dinner. I whipped up some spaghetti all'amatriciana, which was delicious and relatively fast. Then I took my trash to my dad's dumpster, did a bit of writing, and ended the night by finishing a book I started the other night (ROSEMARY AND RUE). I didn't totally love it, but it is in the genre that I'm maybe writing, so it was v. thought-provoking.

However, it kept me up later than intended (but I needed to finish it because my library due date was fast approaching, so no regrets there) - so I think it's time for bed. Goodnight!

i get lost on my way searching for liars

Today was much less social than yesterday, which helped me to get some tings done. Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep in like I wanted to because Randy always shows up just before eight and I usually try to make it downstairs around his arrival - but I was not feeling particularly chipper to be awake this morning.

The day didn't entirely improve because it was vaguely snowy and very grey all day, which does not help my mood. However, I managed to work despite that - I spent a lot of time doing some office-related tasks, which felt good to get organized. I also had a burrito bowl for lunch, which was delish. And, I had a coaching call for the writing strengths class that I'm taking - the call is a 1:1 included in the course registration, and it was super helpful to talk through my own unique blend of strengths with someone (especially someone who matches approximately five of my top ten strengths).

So, the coaching was v. interesting - I walked away with some practical tips for my writing, plus some new ways about thinking about some of my problems. I'm eager to see what's in the remaining lectures, but at this point I'm ready to start setting some writing goals for this year with a bit more intention than I've had in the past couple of years.

After that, I messed around with house stuff and then continued organizing my office. Eventually, I made a v. delicious ribeye using the reverse sear method (roast it low until ~95 degrees, then sear it and then let it rest), and I also made some broccoli and heated up a frozen-for-a-gloomy-day twice baked potato. The ribeye hit the spot, so #noregrets on that even though my house now smells like the charcoal part of a barbecue.

I think wrote just a teensy bit, and then [censored] showed up and we talked for awhile. And now, I need to go to bed - it's not at all late enough for me to *want* to go to bed, but I'm so tired from not getting to sleep in that I think I need to make the shift. Goodnight!

searching for signs of life, but there's nobody home

Happy birthday to my mom! And also happy birthday to Chandlord! A momentous day indeed!

Beyond the birthdays, I have little to report - I got up this morning and made eggs and hashbrowns on my new stove, and I was quite happy with how it performed. Then, [censored] and I watched some SNL while eating, which is a nice Sunday tradition (even if this season is still real rough).

After that, we moved mattresses and box springs around between here and my parents' house - I'll spare you the details, but we were swapping newer / older models and putting older models in the rolloff dumpster that I now have at my house. It was only fourteen degrees when we did this, but that's about the warmest it will be this week, so we decided to do it anyway.

[censored] then spent the afternoon cleaning up the garage, and I should have helped...but my trash is [censored]'s treasure, so I stayed out of the way. Instead, I washed a bunch of dishes (in the bathroom, which is not efficient), cleaned out my fridge/freezer, did some Christmas shopping, and put the shelves in most of my upper cabinets. I'm really eager to get my kitchen organized, although I can't really do that until the countertops are in and the rest of the handles/pulls are installed. But so far it's coming together, and I can't wait for the end result.

Eventually, [censored] and I ate some leftover spaghetti before [censored] headed for [censored]. Then I watched another YouTube video about my StrengthsFinder writing strengths before adjourning to my room and taking care of some tings. And now I'm going to journal and go to bed - goodnight!

let's all move to madrid

I did more today than I intended, which is perhaps a good thing. I got up in time to make tea and take care of some stuff before Randy came to start working on my kitchen. I also got a delivery from my beloved Room and Board - I got some new bookshelves for my office + shelves to fit in the weird alcoves in my bedroom, and they look great (although they're still empty because I didn't have time to fill them up today).

I had a long chat with Katie to discuss funeral plans for Lorena (tl;dr I might not go because I've been exposed to covid, which meant Katie didn't want to stay with me if she came back)...and of course, we discussed a lot of other ridiculous tings as well. After that, [censored] and I had lunch (leftovers), and I ran a couple of errands to stock up on supplies. And I talked to Alyssa, who was in fine form.

After that, I messed around for a bit, and then I made two full entrees - a beef stew and the usual chicken burrito bowls. I perhaps spent more energy than I should have cooking, but it means that [censored] and I have food for a couple of days, and that seemed like a worthy endeavor. Both turned out quite well, if I do say so myself, even if they took more time than usual to make and clean up from due to the lack of a kitchen. [censored] and I also watched a video of the time our great-uncle Fred was on a game show back in the sixties, which [censored] didn't remember hearing about but which we were able to find thanks to the miracles of YouTube.

And now, I really need to get some sleep - goodnight!

take a seat near the imitator

I had a pretty good day, although I'm trying to stave off what may be a cold or may be something else, and so I tried to be as relaxed as possible. I made myself a big pot of tea and spent most of the morning curled up on the chaise in my bedroom, drinking tea and brainstorming my book. I was testing out a technique I learned in a writing video I watched last night, and it was an interesting way to approach my plotting problem.

At some point, I had lunch (leftover chicken and wild rice soup), did some more writing, and took a nap. Then, I put on makeup and jewelry (an unusual step for me on most Tuesdays these days!) and had a call with my former big boss (not the original big boss - the VP who I worked for for several years in my last role). She'd emailed me a few days ago asking how I was doing, and I was delighted to hear from her, so we set up time to chat. And no, I'm not going back to my former employer for a fourth time - but she was v. encouraging (unsolicitedly) of me thinking about getting into some advisory or consulting work. It was an interesting convo and gave me some things to think about, even if my focus through the end of the year is remodeling my house and getting deeper into my book.

After that, I did some house stuff, ate dinner (leftover sweet and sour pork), and journaled. And now, I must sleep - goodnight!

all night long, writing poems to california

I had a fairly excellent day, all in all. I did some stretching and a bit of kettlebell stuff, and then I spent the morning doing some legit writing, which felt great. It's quite likely that none of it will make it into the final draft, but it's also quite likely that I'm getting into something interesting. We'll see where it takes me tomorrow!

I also had lunch with [censored], although we ate different things. Then I did a bit more work before talking to Alyssa, who was a delight. After, I did a bunch of random house stuff - I put together the rest of a set of shelves, did some laundry, tidied up the kitchen, etc. And eventually, I made dinner - I roasted some salmon, along with some roasted potatoes and some roasted broccoli, and even though everything roasts for different times and even though (or perhaps because) I used approximately one gallon of olive oil, it all came together right on time and was quite delicious. I ate it while [censored] and I watched some TV (Big Bang Theory reruns + some replays of this week's SNL - ooof, that cast is gonna need some time to gel).

Eventually, I came upstairs and read part of a book on the folklore of rural crafts (especially beekeeping and blacksmithing), which is way too high level but also gave me some interesting avenues of exploration. And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

some things lookin' better, baby, just passin' through

I'm in the midst of a purge of all the tings that I have let pile up in my house, including many tings that I haven't used since before the pandemic (or perhaps even before that). I spent several hours today cleaning out my bathroom - that amount of time shouldn't be necessary for a bathroom, but I tend to hoard cosmetics, and I also tend to get a lot of free samples, and all in all things were out of control.

It was a little sad to toss lipsticks that I didn't wear the last two years, or eye shadows that went bad because I wasn't going to parties. I have clearly lost my appetite for trying new skincare regimens, and instead just stick with the stuff that works for sitting in my house on video calls. But while the purge was painful, I 1) don't want to continue looking at things that I no longer use, and 2) don't want to risk giving myself an eye infection by using makeup that I've had for half a decade. And now my bathroom drawers are much cleaner and better organized, which is a delight.

I did the same purge to my laundry room, which is a catch-all for junk, and I also took care of a bunch of trash in my basement. The incentive for so much trash removal was because tomorrow is an extra trash pickup day - but even with everything I tossed, I recycled what I could recycle and composted what I could compost, so I didn't fill my normal trash bin. I still have a lot to purge (especially clothing, which has truly spiraled out of control as my wardrobe has 90% shifted from work/going-out clothes to yoga tights and strange jumpsuits), but I felt good about today's dent.

I also got sufficient sleep, took a nap, and ate a poke bowl to make up for not enjoying the poke bowl I ordered on Monday (my fault for trying fried garlic on it, which was overpowering). And, more exciting, I caught up with Jess for awhile - we hadn't talked since I was in SF in March, so it was nice to hear how she's doing with her new coaching business (which sounds great!).

And now, I'm going to wrap this up and wind down before bed - goodnight!

and you think that you never really tried...open your heart, open your mind

I got several things done that I intended to get done today - probably not as much productivity or relaxing as I had intended, but it was all good. I messed around in the morning and did some planning/cleaning, and I also poached an egg to put on last night's leftover potato/chorizo/cheese goodness, which was pretty terrific. And I spent the afternoon cleaning my garage and doing some yardwork - I had a bunch of stuff in the garage that needed to be tossed or recycled, and the floor was desperately in need of sweeping. I also cut the suckers growing up from my backyard trees, which was a good task to get done when it was 75 degrees out today (since Colorado is still more than capable of snowing in the next two months).

Eventually, I folded laundry, took a break, took a shower, and ordered takeout Thai food. Then I spent the rest of the evening procrastinating a bit before doing some writing - I haven't been able to write much the last few weeks, but when I got back into it tonight I had some awesome ideas, so that was pretty exciting. And now I need to go to bed earlier than I went to bed last night, even though my soul wants to stay awake until four a.m. - but my body knows I can't stay up late and hope to get anything done tomorrow. Goodnight!

off off off with your head

I meant to go to bed an hour ago, but I needed to unwind a bit, so I guess I'm not surprised that I'm still awake and watching Olympics at a quarter to midnight. Today was a little rough - I didn't get enough sleep last night, and then I had to do quite a bit of work this afternoon / evening on something that I need to get done for next week. But I did a bit of writing this morning and I had time to make huevos rancheros, so I'll take it.

Eventually, I took a break to go out to my parents' house for supper (cheeseburgers and french fries and creamed peas, yum). Then I came back into town and worked most of the rest of the night, while also keeping an eye on the Olympics in the background. There are a lot of athletes in their late thirties hanging out in the games, and it was crazy to me that Shaun White's last halfpipe event was today and that I now like him after finding him ridiculous (when he was like twenty) in 2006.

And now, I really should go to bed so I can get everything done that I need to do tomorrow - goodnight!

nobody knows any better, anyway

I have nothing of note to report - I'm feeling slightly better tonight, but I had a headache most of the afternoon. Again, it's unclear whether that's covid or my life, but I'm pretty sure it's covid. I'm still not working at 100% capacity, but no one else is either, so I think I can take it easy-ish for another couple of days and hopefully be fully recovered by the weekend.

So, that's all, really - I worked, ate some salmon on toast for lunch, and made some enchiladas for dinner. That was super easy, since I'd made them a couple of weeks ago and frozen them, so I just pulled them out of the freezer this morning and cooked them tonight. Somewhere in there I took a nap, which was v. needed. And I should have gone to bed, or at least gotten off my laptop, hours ago, but I distracted myself with looking at things for my Iowa house, which is not urgent but is certainly fun.

And now, I really need to sleep - I do unfortunately have a couple of meetings that I have to be "on" for tomorrow, which means I should probably wash my hair and perhaps wear something other than a sweatshirt. We shall see, we shall see. Goodnight!

wear it out, it's getting hot, crack a window, air it out

I am almost entirely recovered from the 'rona, but I occasionally get hit with a blast of fatigue that makes me want to lie down. I only took one nap today (after the herculean effort of finally unpacking my last suitcase from Iowa three weeks ago), but I probably could have / should have taken three. Overall, though, I feel a lot better than I did a couple of days ago, so I would say I continue to be on the mend.

Because of the fatigue, though, I did basically nothing today. I made some coffee, which was the extent of my culinary endeavors. I wrote in my journal, which was nice, and spent a lot of time on my phone, which was less nice. Eventually, I talked to my parents, who were mostly in fine form - my mom seems mostly recovered from whatever she had before, so hopefully they both stay on the mend. I also talked to [censored] for a bit, which was entertaining as usual. And I watched the last couple of minutes of the Chiefs / Bills game, which means I got to see two touchdowns and a field goal, which should not be what one sees in the last couple of minutes of a game.

And now, I think I'll try to go to bed early (for me) - I'm going to do some work tomorrow, but I expect that I will not be fully #inittowinit and will need to take some naps along the way. Goodnight!

some color on monochrome

I'm feeling quite a bit better today - still fatigued enough that I needed a nap this afternoon, and still a bit headachy, but overall much improved. My fitbit also shows that things are getting better in terms of both sleep and heart rate, so that's exciting. I'm definitely not 100%, but I'm also getting very tired of sitting around, so I don't quite know what to do with that other than forcing myself to continue taking it easy.

However, I did do a load of laundry so that I could wear my favorite most comfy things again, and I also trimmed my bangs since I couldn't really see through them anymore. And, I left my house for the first time in a week - I had to mail a check, so I drove through the post office drop off and came home again. That was not a particularly exciting outing, but at least I got it done. I also got a few personal online tasks taking care of, and overall didn't feel quite so sluggish, so I'll take it.

I also took my aforementioned nap, and I took a quick shower, so I'd say the self-care is doing okay. In the evening, I ordered takeout Indian food (delish) and watched another three episodes of Queer Eye. It's just mindless enough that I don't have to worry about a plot or watch them in order, but the stories of the people they feature + the interactions they have while helping someone to rebuild / reshape their life are pretty lovely. So, perhaps I'll watch some more tomorrow - or perhaps I'll do something else before I get bored of this too.

And now, I need to sleep - I've been looking at screens too much, and I'm guessing that's a small contributing factor to my headache. Goodnight!

with their lips on fire and your head unscrewed

I had the day off today, and since I'm still not feeling well, I spent it indulging in not-feeling-well things. That meant that I spent the morning drinking tea and journaling, which was pretty relaxing. I also ordered Instacart groceries, mostly so I could get ice cream (success - I never eat ice cream, but it felt like something I should have today) and orange juice (not a success - they subbed 'light' orange juice for regular, which is an abomination of stevia). But the ice cream was worth it and I got some fresh Emergen-C packets, so all in all it was worth it.

I didn't do much this afternoon, either - I took a nap at some point, which was great. And I spent the evening reading a whole book in one sitting - Ilona Andrews' MAGIC BITES, which came out forever ago and I somehow never picked up. It's relevant to the type of world I might be building with my new project (a fledgling thing that is picking up steam, but I'm still deep in worldbuilding mode and trying to figure out how to shape it). Like I said, I read it in one sitting, with a break to eat some leftovers and another break to talk to [censored]. The book was great, and now I want to glom on to more of the series.

And perhaps that will happen tomorrow - I called in sick and canceled almost all of my meetings, hoping that more sleep will help me recover faster. We shall see, we shall see. I don't feel like death, which is an improvement over most colds I get, but I'm definitely congested and I don't want it to get worse. And with that in mind, I should probably go to bed rather than staying up late as is my instinct. Goodnight!

here we are in the pouring home

Yay for the weekend - I'm definitely ready for it. I had too many meetings for a no-meeting-Friday (like, six hours of meetings, plus a couple of hours of work before and another hour after). And some of them were so annoying as to be completely laughable. But overall, the day was fine - and now I'm ready to start the weekend in earnest.

Sometime around the end of the day, my phone buzzed to tell me that my dad was waving at me - he pulled into my driveway in Iowa just to wave at my camera and leave. So, we caught up for a bit, which was nice. I should have made something delightful for dinner, and I suppose I did to some extent - I tried a new-to-me cocktail from the Cocktail Codex (which so far has never steered me wrong). It's a Southside, with gin, lime, mint, simple syrup, and bitters, and it was so good that I had two. The second one was paired with chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries from the freezer, which were pretty delicious (especially on the second cocktail; and especially since these gluten free chicken nuggets were pretty good). And then I worked on the design for my Christmas card - I'm not feeling a lot of cheer or good will towards men right now, but I'm going to try to fake it.

And now I think I'll go to bed so that I can do some fun tings tomorrow - goodnight!