kept him warm in the winter, left him frozen in the spring

Today was super boring in terms of what to share with you, but I powered through and am ready to leave for New York tomorrow, so that's good. I woke up lateish (since I went to bed over an hour later than I told you I was going to last night...oops), messed around the apartment, and then went to Philz, where I wrote for a couple of hours. Then I got my nails done, since I would like to look like a princess rather than a troll while I'm in New York.

Once that was all done, I came home, did some laundry, took care of some administrative tasks, ate leftover pasta (yum - too bad I can't finish it before I go), drank some leftover champagne (also yum, thanks to my champagne stopper), and packed my suitcase. And now, after that highly boring post, I'm going to go to bed (I swear! early!) so I can get up early and get to the airport in time to have a proper breakfast - goodnight!

i'm so sick of that same old love

As expected, this morning was kind of fucked since I stayed up way too late last night. I ended up waking up at seven unable to sleep, so I messed around on my laptop and kind of half-assed made an attempt at writing for a couple of hours, and then I dozed for another hour (truly, lazing about in bed is the best thing, although maybe it's not good for productivity). But eventually I dragged myself out of bed and into some clothes, and I walked to the marina and had brunch at my favorite cafe. I also talked to Tony for a little bit (back in the kitchen, since he didn't have time to hang out in the front), which was lovely. Then I walked down Union Street and bought a couple of pairs of workout tights, since they were on massive sale.

At that point I should have gone to the gym, or gone to a cafe to write (I had schlepped my backpack with both my laptop and my kettlebell chalk), but I simply wasn't feeling it, so I walked home and decided to count the fact that I'd carried my backpack for 2.5 miles as good enough (spoiler: it's not enough, but whatever). I messed around online some more, and then I called my parents, who seemed to be good (well, except for the weather, and a brief discussion about how humanity is totally fucked in terms of antibiotics going forward, and my dad's hammered finger (which sounds horrendous)).

But once I was off the phone, I decided to get off my ass and get something done. Luckily, I had changed the kitchen lightbulb earlier in the day (it burned out a few days ago, oddly, since I changed it a few months ago, so I ordered a better version of the lightbulb from Amazon to see if a higher quality bulb would last longer), so I was able to actually do the stuff in the kitchen that I've been wanting/needing to do.

That involved both cooking and cleaning. I had bought groceries on Tuesday to make something new, but I had gotten sidetracked and didn't have a kitchen light, so I didn't get around to cooking until tonight. I made pasta all' amatriciana from a Mario Batali recipe, and it turned out to be awesome (way more pleasurable than the questionable gluten free baked dish I made from his cookbook a few weeks ago). It took quite a bit of time, though - not a lot of active time, but I first had to make his basic tomato sauce, which takes well over an hour to simmer down (and even then, I have to immersion blend it to break up the whole tomatoes). Then I used some of that sauce in the amatriciana - but the main point of amatriciana is the 12oz of bacon and the onion and the garlic and the red pepper flakes, all of which were cooked together before adding the sauce.

While all of that was cooking, I cleaned out the fridge, took out the recycling and compost and trash (the compost had some v. impressive mold), and generally tidied up, which made me feel better about leaving my apartment this coming week. Then, I finished up the pasta dish by making some gluten free spaghetti, mixing in the sauce, and topping it with grated pecorino romano. I also opened a mini bottle of champagne because that's how I roll. You can see the finished product (before I devoured it) on my instagram, if you're so curious; the recipe is here (although I have the whole cookbook).

That all made me feel v. self-satisfied, and I have leftovers for tomorrow (too many leftovers! but maybe I'll eat it twice!). I also had four cups of the basic tomato sauce left, which I threw into two bags in the freezer, so I can use them to make other sauces without having to go through the initial basic sauce construction step. Side note: the web recipe says to crush the tomatoes by hand before putting into the sauce, which explains why they never cook down and I have to immersion blend. So I'm not sure why he doesn't just call for crushed tomatoes to begin with, but whatever.

So after all my kitchen adventures, I was still feeling productive, so I answered email and made a Christmas list and did a variety of other necessary tasks. And now I desperately need to sleep and regain some of what I lost last night - goodnight!

balkanized

I just stayed up way later than I planned, which means I'm going to get up later than planned, which will throw my morning plan of writing/gym/brunch (in some yet-to-be-determined order) into chaos. However, today was okay, and tonight was great, so I have no regrets. I spent the day hermiting out, although I left the apartment to write for a couple of hours at Philz. I also grabbed pho at Mangosteen, which was tasty, but my walk home through the Tenderloin left me despairing about the human condition.

So when I got home, I canceled my plan of walking to the Mission (I couldn't handle the idea of more filth), took a brief nap, and then drove to the Mission instead. On the way, I picked up Katrina, who was the instigator of tonight's fun times. We found parking immediately upon arrival at our destination (Thanksgiving weekend, with everyone out of town, is magical), and we had a drink at Zoe's (I misordered, since I should have had the rum drink of my heart rather than going for the more 'respectable' gin and egg white concoction....but my drink was called 'Trouble and Strife', which was appropriate, and it tasted good enough). We caught up on life while hanging out at the bar, which was lovely...

...but we weren't there to see each other. We were there to walk down the street to Red Poppy Art House, which would better be called a room, since it is a single room. We got one of the last good spaces upon arrival (there were no chairs left, but I grabbed a barstool and Katrina grabbed a pillar to lean against, and we could see over the chairs in front of us, so it wasn't that bad), and the venue kept packing people in to the point that I started daydreaming about all the fire code violations.

But there was no fire, only music (and dancing). The performer was Istanbul Connection, which is some strange Balkan/Latin music collaboration between members of a bunch of different bands (including Inspector Gadje, whom Katrina adores). They started off playing rather Balkan-sounding stuff, which I really enjoyed a lot. But the second half of the set was a little too dominated by Latin music for my tastes - I would have rather kept with the Eastern European theme.

However, the woman who danced for some of the songs was excellent, and there were some really excellent musicians (I love drummers, and the clarinet and sax players were both quite good). There was one strange moment where an audience member got up and danced in front of everyone, but that just added to the surreal experience (and my sudden, crushing desire to run away and have an 'Eat Pray Love' moment and eventually write a memoir).

So the concert was great, and a perfect mellow way to spend a Saturday evening. Once it was over, I dropped Katrina off at home, and then came home and have been messing around on my computer since then.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

better make it worth the fall

Hello. My morning/midday was v. quiet; I wasn't feeling the screen, but I scribbled in my notebook for quite awhile, so I'll take it. Then I walked over to Fillmore to buy some extraneous face/hair products with the black Friday discount at Kiehls (I don't know if it counts as Christmas shopping if it was all for myself?). And I stopped at Starbucks and got some iced tea, and I took out some recycling, and I folded some laundry, so I wasn't a total sloth...

...but I was mostly a sloth. However, I rallied and went to Adit and Priyanka's to see them and their baby. Vihaan continues to gain weight thanks to Priyanka feeding him 24-7 (seriously, I've been there twice and all I've seen is feeding activity); Vihaan also continues to produce feces (which Adit insisted on showing me, because we frequently discuss fecal matter and clearly I must verify that his son is capable of producing it (spoiler: Vihaan *definitely* produces feces)). So I spent a delightful hour and a half visiting their new family, and exchanging insults with Adit (okay, I didn't insult him, but he said that my life is not interesting enough for a memoir - he's probably right, but I shall take umbrage because taking umbrage is what one does with an almost-sibling). They all seemed to be surviving thus far, though, so that was nice to see.

Then I came home, messed around online, and decided I had to get out of the house before I went mad. So I walked to the Marina with the intention of going to my favorite Greek place - but it was so quiet down there on the day after Thanksgiving that I ended up going to Aix instead, which was a) closer, b) has a better wine selection, and c) meant that I could eat risotto rather than being good and having chicken skewers. So I had a delightful time there, and I wrote in my journal (and was asked how my manifesto was coming along, but I tipped the bartender despite that delicate question), and I had three glasses of wine since they gave me a third glass gratis.

When I was done, I was going to come home, but I was right next door to Nectar and I saw Chris through the window even though Nectar was closed...so I boldly walked in, and ended up talking to Chris and Leah (the owners) for almost two hours. We hadn't caught up in forever and we had much to discuss, so they poured me a glass of wine and I hung out while they cleaned up. It was great to see them, and I am reminded of how much I miss my old neighborhood...

...but that's a story for another night. Tonight, though, I must sleep if I have any hope of getting stuff done - goodnight!

it's the wrongs that make the words come to life

Happy Thanksgiving! My day was pretty lovely, but I'm totally wiped out and need to go to bed. I got some sleep last night - enough that today should have been easy, but not enough to fix the sleeplessness of the night before. Then I messed around the apartment and ate some oatmeal before going over to Lauren and Nathan's to help with the turkey. Since I had left my car there last night, I ended up walking over (with a stop at Whole Foods to buy whipped cream, which we ended up absolutely not needing), so at least I got some exercise before the feasting began.

But the feasting couldn't begin until the turkey was done anyway. Nathan and I made stuffing, prepped the bird, etc. (okay, I did most of the bird, since I have a lot more experience with poultry death than most of my friends), and got it into the oven on schedule. Then I drove home, talked to my real family (Iowa sounds cold and gloomy today), took a shower, ate a snack, and went back to Lauren's for the dinner festivities.

Everything turned out wonderfully; the turkey was done earlier than we expected, but it was perfect, and the food that everyone else brought was delicious too. Lauren's grandmother (who goes by Beauty) made an awesome gravy with the giblets we'd saved from the turkey, and so I ate my heart's content in turkey/potatoes/gravy, with a bit of brussels sprouts and beets on the side to add respectability. I also drank a significant quantity of white wine / red wine / champagne, all of which added to my good cheer (until now, when I just want to crawl into bed).

Anyway, I had a great time; I like Lauren's family a lot and know them pretty well since I have spent time with them at the events leading up to her wedding + the baby shower this summer, so it was good to see them all. But I'm also happy to be back in the peacefulness of my apartment, and I'm hoping for a mildly hermity day tomorrow so I can get some writing done (remember that book I'm supposed to be working on? I don't!).

So, it's time for bed - happy thanksgiving, and I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

tell me now can you make it past your caspers

I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night, which meant that today felt a little wasted - but considering how low my sleep was, I'm surprised at how well I felt today. The issue is the full moon, which is shining directly into my skylights, which means I woke up around 12:30am and ended up messing around on my phone until almost three a.m. Stupid, I know.

But I eventually went back to sleep and dozed for a few hours...not soundly enough to be fully rested, but enough that I didn't want to die today. Eventually I dragged myself out of bed, showered, drank some coffee, etc. And then I went downtown to see my eyebrow waxer, who did a great job with my brows (although I forgot to take a holiday card to her since I'm so scatterbrained today - but I think she'll forgive me).

Once I was done with that, I grabbed sushi at the Whole Foods across the street, came home, and took a much-needed nap. Then I wrote for an hour (it probably won't survive edits, but it felt like the right path to take at the time). Then I needed to get out of the house and out of my head, so I walked down to the Marina, bought a ring I'd seen there two days ago (the ring I always wear on my right hand is way too delicate and I'm on my third iteration of it, so I'm trying something new that I hopefully won't smash quite as badly with my hulk hands when I'm drinking with Adit at 4am - although I guess the addition of his new baby friend to his life may spare my liver as well for awhile), and then I immediately walked home.

I messed around here for awhile, but I eventually went to Lauren (aka Subz) and Nathan's house to help with their turkey preparations for tomorrow. Nathan wanted to brine it, but Lauren is rather squeamish about flesh (I am probably on the exact opposite end of the spectrum in terms of squeamishness), so she said hi to me briefly, then hid out upstairs with their baby while Nathan and I spent three hours drinking a v. nice bottle of wine, making brine, and prepping the turkey. We'll see how it turns out - I left my car there (see: the bottle of nice wine), so I'm going to go back around noon to help him get the turkey out of the brine, stuffed, oiled, and in the oven (Lauren would not like any of this), and then I'll come home and get dolled up before going back for the main event.

So that was all fun, and the wine was delicious, and I am completely blase about sticking my arm into a turkey cavity, so at least my evening was good even though my day was a little frustrating and lackluster. And now I must sleep (and hope the moon or my racing thoughts don't keep me awake) - goodnight!

turn out the light

No blog for you tonight - today was pretty productive, including both writing and a lot of house stuff (laundry, grocery shopping, unpacking, etc.). But I've been staring at a screen for way too long, and the rain coming down outside makes me want to curl up in bed again and dream the night away. Perhaps tomorrow I shall be more eloquent...but as tomorrow involved getting eyebrows ripped off my face, as well as some pre-Thanksgiving feast preparation, we shall see what I can churn out for you. Goodnight!

when we're done sleeping, we'll stay busy dreaming

I gave myself a slow and quiet day to make up for my 'vacation', which was probably exactly what I needed. The sun woke me up way too early, but I pulled on my eyemask and attempted to sleep some more (fitfully, but it was better than nothing). Then I spent some very useful quality time with my day planner and my laptop, sorting out what I need to get done by the end of the month, recapping what I've done so far, and making notes.

I've been spending more time with my planner than is probably strictly necessary, but I've started tracking what I do throughout the day and color coding it so I have a very visual way of telling where I'm spending my time and whether I need to make adjustments. I think I have enough data to start making some changes...but I'm starting to see that the things I wanted to prioritize more when I left the day job (friends/family, working out, journalling/observing, refilling my creative well, etc.) are actually happening, which is great. The writing/business side is not happening as forcefully/productively as I thought it would - so now that I've achieved some balance in other areas of my life and am starting to feel pretty happy/relaxed/excited/[insert positive adjective I hadn't felt in many months here] about the big picture, I think I can start tweaking things to get more writing done and focus more aggressively on marketing.

So that's on tap for the next few months, but it's good to feel like I'm starting to finally make some progress (and recognize the progress I've already made). After I did all that (while eating scrambled eggs and drinking coffee, which I'd made for myself like a peasant), I took a walk down to the Marina to run some errands - I probably didn't need to go all the way down there, but I did absolutely no walking/working out of any kind while I was in Denver, and I wanted to get out of the house today since it's going to rain tomorrow. So I ran my errands, came home, thought about showering or napping, and instead did absolutely nothing.

But then I eventually rallied and went to the Inner Richmond to meet up with Claudia (aka Santy Claude) at My Tofu House. I was in the mood for something warm and spicy, and we had previously planned to have dinner tonight without setting a location, so I conned her into meeting me there. We had our usual lowkey catch-up session over soft tofu soup, and we escaped with our lives after a dicey moment outside our parked cars (okay, nothing actually happened, but there was definitely an almost-naked homeless guy screaming at the top of his lungs while sitting in the entryway of the building we'd both parked next to, so our goodbye hug was extremely abbreviated).

Then I came home, really wanted to go to bed at eight p.m., and instead forced myself to take vitamins and drink an emergen-c and do some online stuff and color in my coloring book so that I could make it to ten p.m. But now I've succeeded in that noble goal, and bedtime is my reward - goodnight!

got my mind on your body and your body on my mind

I have returned to the city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that neeeeevvver sleeps...but I need to go to sleep immediately so that I can return to my regularly schedule malaise about Rafe and Octavia (although I'm not feeling malaise right now...it's possible I'm vaguely excited, which is rare and hopeful and so precious that I don't want to kill it by holding on to the feeling too tightly).

Today was a good final day in Denver, although it's probably for the best that I came home when I did - my skin is starting to dessicate and my nasal passages are filling with blood, and while I have thus far seemed to escape Katie's child army without contracting some vicious child-incubated cold, I'm sure something lurks within me. But I enjoyed myself today despite my hypochondriac woes. I woke up this morning feeling much better than I deserved (and waaaaay better than Katie and James, who had to deal with their children throughout the night), and I hung out with them for awhile before stealing Katie's car and leaving them to endure their prison on their own.

My destination was another part of Denver, where I met up with Aunt Becky and Uncle Brian (aka the scandalous pirate husband) for brunch. They've got a house in Denver, and they're in town for the week, so we got together for a few hours. This included both food and errands; we ended up going to Lowes, and then we went to a furniture store, where I learned a lot about the potential furnishings for a house that I have yet to see (there wasn't time for me to drive there after, since I needed to see the child army again before going to the airport).

Once Aunt B and I parted ways, I drove back to Katie's, and I spent the afternoon/early evening getting in some last bits of quality time. Katie and James were hiding in the basement when I arrived, watching SNL and hoping that their children would continue to nap, but Anne thwarted us fairly quickly and thoroughly. Anne ended up 'helping' me to pack (#protip: toddlers are not all that good at packing, although you learn some interesting things about what they think about bras), and then I hung out in the kitchen while Katie made supper.

Eventually, though, all things must end, and so after we ate, Katie took me to the airport and we had one last, quick gossip session before she kicked me to the curb. I was absurdly early, especially since I have TSA Precheck and so made it through security in less than five minutes (unheard of in Denver)...but that gave me time to make my belated Sunday call to my parents. Then I had a glass of wine and a plate of mozzarella/tomatoes/basil and reveled in my escape from toddler prison. I would say that I poured one out for Katie and James while I was there, but I needed every last drop of sauvignon blanc to take the edge off.

Just kidding, actually...the kids were really fun, despite their screams, and it was awesome to see Katie and James. I would move to Denver if I had more friends there, and also if I didn't enjoy the feeling of Karl the Fog's moist caress (that's so gross, now that I've typed it - it's an homage to San Francisco's humidity, for what it's worth).

So, my flight was totally uneventful, and I got back to my car and drove home without incident. And now I shall sleep (with the noises of the city rather than the pitter patter of little feet to lull me into slumber) - goodnight!

i'm never going back, the past is in the past

I continue to lead Katie and James astray, and it's quite possible that they will have a brutal morning tomorrow as a result - I, however, will put my earplugs firmly in place as soon as the screams begin, and I will stay asleep until Anne opens my door and attempts to observe me sleeping (which would not, after all, be the only grooming/bodily function she has observed this weekend - turns out toddlers are not helpful when showering or doing makeup).

However, today was a delight. I ignored the screams and slept until eight, and then I hung out with the family until nine, when a photographer arrived to take family pictures (mostly of the girls). I chose to shower during this, and was able to get ready in relative peace while the pictures were being done. Then, James graciously took care of the girls while Katie and I ran out and grabbed breakfast (relatively lackluster food, but wonderful conversation, as per usual). We also bought groceries and picked up breakfast for James, and then we came home and attempted to give him a break (although he stayed home, but he at least got twenty minutes to himself outside, so I guess that was cool).

And then I discovered the delight which is their Saturday afternoon routine, which they call 'nap prison'. Nap prison is actually the best-possible scenario; it happens if both girls fall asleep from one to three, which means they can't leave the house but can at least watch a movie or do something around the house. However, today turned into 'prison prison', because Anne refused to sleep, and so we ultimately ate popcorn and watched 'Frozen' (which was actually a decent way to spend the afternoon, all things considered).

Then the nanny showed up to babysit, and Katie/James/I busted out of prison and were adults for a few hours. We started at Old Major, which is a bar Katie and I had gone to when I was in town while she was pregnant with Julia; we had a couple of drinks there (and they claimed they were impressed that I ordered a cocktail by just asking for a specific flavor profile and requesting that the bartender make whatever he felt like making in that category, but I think they actually thought I was a terribly obnoxious hipster who should be put down before infecting others with my insufferability). We also had charcuterie and cheese, which was totally delish, and spent too much time talking about inappropriate things (like shooting lions in the heart, which turned into something vaguely sexual, etc).

Then we went a few blocks away to this French place, which was a total delight - I had some baked dish with cheese/bacon/potatoes that I'd never had before, and a couple of French 75s, and coffee, and we split creme brulee and chocolate pot du creme, and it was all delicious. The conversation continued to be wonderful, but eventually we had to leave to relieve the babysitter. Sadly, she wasn't able to get both girls to fall asleep before we got home, but Katie and James eventually succeeded, and then we watched 'Zoolander' to relive our youths.

And now I must sleep, because the screams will start all too soon - goodnight!

your slaps don't stick, your kicks don't hit

I need to go to bed immediately, since the toddler army will arise all too soon...but today was a wonderful day in Denver. Katie and I hung out at home until the nanny arrived, and then we went to a lovely coffee shop, where we spent the morning working (and talking, por supuesto). Around noon we returned to her house, and I showered while she and the nanny fed the kids.

But we escaped for a few more hours to have adult beverages and conversations, and it was terrific to spend some quality time alone with her. Our first stop was Avanti, which is a two-level establishment with seven individual food vendors inside, along with a couple of bars. I had an arepa (which is basically a Venezuelan flatbread sandwich, but the 'bread' is made from corn, so it's all gluten free) - and the arepa was the best fucking thing I've eaten in a long time. Mine had chicken, avocado, and fried plantains, and it was so good that now I'm hungry thinking about it even though it made me really full. Katie had a delish (and prob healthier) salad from the stall next to the arepas place, and we ate our food while having a couple of leisurely drinks at the bar with views of downtown (views that were eventually obscured by clouds and snow flurries, which made me quite smug about my new coat).

After we had our fill of Avanti, we went to Postino, which is a wine bar set in an old book bindery (all of these words are my favorite words). We had dessert there (the only downside of Avanti was that there were no desserts - they should have had an ice cream vendor or something), and french press coffee, and then I had another glass of wine so we could linger for another hour. All told, we spent four glorious hours catching up on our respective lives, which is never enough but certainly goes a long way toward refilling my Katie well until the next time we're in the same city.

Then we came home, played with the kids, peeled potatoes, and Katie made meatloaf for supper. I stayed downstairs tonight while Katie and James put the kids to bed, since I don't think my presence helped last night, but when they were done the three of us sat around and talked until 11:30 (which was prob way too late, but not as late as last night).

And now I simply must sleep, since I'm not getting the nine hours I'm accustomed to (this is where Katie, when she reads this post, will roll her eyes in disgust and comment on how spoiled my life is compared to hers...c'est la vie). Goodnight!

rocky mountain high

No, I'm not high - unless I am capable of entering an altered mental state simply by being around toddlers, in which case I'm as high as a fucking kite!

sssanyway. Today was an excellent start to my long weekend in Denver, and I'm v. happy to be here - seeing Katie (and James, her consort/lover/babydaddy/whatever you want to call him (I suppose some would call him a husband)) is always exactly what I need. But first I had to get here. That was all totally uneventful - I woke up, showered, finished packing, took care of some last-minute work, and eventually drove to the airport. I was through security in less than five minutes, so I was able to eat lunch (although I chose breakfast foods) and grab a latte before getting on my flight (after standing in line behind a woman and her two sons who had been in line for twenty minutes and got all the way to the gate agent, who then told them they were in line for the wrong flight. lol.).

The flight was completely on time (actually, fifteen minutes early), and completely uneventful (I journaled, wrote a bit of Rafe and Octavia, and reread part of 'Mockingjay' over the shoulder of the person next to me). I got out of the airport in record time, and James picked me up, so we caught up during the interminable traffic on the way back to the house.

Then I arrived, and was surprised to find that Anne (the three-year-old), at least, was v. v. excited to see me. I was expecting her to be shy, but she was super psyched (which is how I'm usually greeted, since I am amazing, but sometimes toddlers don't realize this)...and I think Julia warmed up to me as well. Katie also seemed psyched to see me, but we'll see if that continues as I sometimes slip up and mention things like 'freedom' and 'sleeping in' and don't know that a 'pack n play' is a playpen. #sorrynotsorry.

sssanyway again, we ate Thai food and hung out with the children until it was time to put them to bed (which all seemed to go pretty smoothly, although Katie proved that she excels at confiscating one's balls at the least provocation). Then Katie, James and I sat around the dining room table and drained some rosé and part of a bottle of white wine while discussing myriad topics, none of which I can share with you.

But now, I must sleep before the children awaken us all with their hideous shrieks of the damned.

But before I sleep, I must also say happy birthday to my father (you may know him as Papa Wamp) - happy birthday, Daddy! Goodnight!

bang bang bang this time i win

I seem to slowly be resetting my body clock toward sleeping later and getting up later...just in time to go to Denver, where I'm sure Katie's children have no intention of letting anyone sleep in. Yay.

sssanyway, it's almost midnight and I should really go to bed, but first...today was good, and I accomplished most of the things on my to-do list, so I'm quite pleased about that. I spent the morning doing stuff to get ready to vacate my normal life for a couple of days while drinking iced coffee, which made for a nice start to the day. Then I drove to San Mateo and worked out at Equinox; it will be interesting to see if I'm sore tomorrow (and therefore whether I'm pushing myself enough when creating my own workouts). I probably need to do some research into preprogrammed circuits - so far I've just been doing whatever I felt like doing based on what I learned from Alyssa, but that means I might not be totally balanced in terms of which muscle groups I'm building, etc. Or I should explore classes, yoga, etc., since I could do those things at Equinox if I so desired. But as long as I maintain where I was with her through the holidays, until I have time to figure out what to do next, I'll take it.

The workout felt hard enough that I was starving after I showered, so I ate at the cafe there (they have some pretty delish prepackaged meals, I must say). Then I went to the Starbucks down the road to meet Anne and Barbara for a writing date. As usual, we talked perhaps more than was strictly necessary (although I like talking to them, and I certainly like talking to them better than I like writing rough draft misery, so that's not a bad thing)...but I still wrote almost four pages, which I was happy with.

Then I came home in rush hour traffic, which I was *not* happy with - but I suppose driving in rush hour is always a good motivator, since I am reminded that I do not want to have to get a day job again and so should finish this fucking book. Once I got here, I lazed about, took a nap (maybe my sleep schedule is just screwed up rather than fully reset), ate supper, and then packed for my trip. I'm done with everything except my toiletries, which I have to use tomorrow, so that's all good.

And now, I believe I shall go to bed - I have a few things to do in the morning before leaving for the airport, so I can't laze about in bed and daydream and plot and scheme like I usually do. Goodnight!

cool for the summer

Today was pretty mellow, with some lovely interludes. I spent the morning enjoying my coffee and messing around online (and actually posting to my author facebook page for the first time in three months - if I do one thing beyond finishing the book in the next month or two, it needs to be to get more consistent on facebook even though I hate it). Then I walked two miles to the San Francisco office - the weather was better than it has been, but the city hasn't fully recovered its urine coating after the rains the other night, so it was about as pleasant as it gets to walk through the 'loin to the financial district/soma.

But my destination was even more pleasant - I had a long lunch with Gyre, which was delightful. Granted, he continues to harangue me about my poor life choices, and perhaps he has some authority or wisdom here since he has a steady job and a house and four kids under the age of eight....but then again, I don't think I want any of those things (well, maybe a house, but not a house in the doldrums of the east bay), so perhaps his advice, while sound and insightful, isn't entirely for me. That said, our conversation was fun and frolicky, and I'm really glad we have an every-three-weeks lunch on calendar again; it had, weirdly, been hard for us to get together regularly when I was working there since I rarely went to the SF office, but now we can reconnect like old times.

When we were done with lunch, I v. illicitly and v. against the rules hung out surreptitiously in the coffee bar area for a couple of hours and wrote from a chair in the corner; it wasn't all that bad, since I didn't have access to any sensitive info or areas of the office, but it wasn't exactly kosher. But I had serendipitous conversations with a couple of people from my past, neither of whom turned me into security (in fact, one of them asked me to watch her stuff), and I was certainly more productive there than I would have been at a dirty dirty soma Starbucks, so I have no regrets.

The reason I stuck around was because I had a meeting/catch-up with my old boss's boss - I always really liked her, and we hadn't really gotten a chance to say goodbye, and I tend to think it's a good idea to keep my network up. But don't worry, I didn't ask for my job back. Still, it was good to see her, and I'm glad I actually reached out and set it up rather than indulging my current spate of laziness.

Then I walked home, messed around, ate leftover soup, and unexpectedly took a nap (I think the four miles of walking and the two days of extremely social activity did me in). Then I made some tea to revive myself and wrote for an hour, along with some emailing and other procrastinatory activities. And now I need to sleep - I have a writing date tomorrow, and I want to go to the gym, and I have to pack for Denver, so sleep is a good idea. Goodnight!

can't lie, it's a sweet life

Today was mostly awesome, despite my (totally predicted, totally forgiven) lack of productivity. Perhaps I could have gotten up early and tried to write, but as I've been testing whether that's actually my style, I didn't force it. Instead, I got sufficient sleep, then showered, got dressed up (in a dress! shocker!), ate breakfast, did my hair and makeup, and then ran out the door when I realized I was on the verge of being late. Then I drove to Palo Alto, where I saw my lady doctor (literally a lady, and also euphemistically a lady doctor, which I guess if I am explaining that to you means I might as well tell you she's my gynecologist). It was good to see her, as always (the conversation part, anyway, since I like her - the rest of it isn't my preferred way to spend a Monday, but it was totally painless, so whatever). And now I shall draw a veil over that experience and move on...

...but perhaps I should have stayed there, because next was catching up with some people from my old job, and I should probably stop going back there and just focus on the future (remind me of this sentence tomorrow, since I've got plans to see more coworkers then). I had lunch with my old boss, and he shared some innocuous gossip about Frankfurt, which made me sad I wasn't there and also very glad I wasn't there. Then I had coffee with Lillian (observant readers may remember her as the woman I went to Agra/Jaipur with while in India earlier this year)...and she also simultaneously made me miss some things and rejoice in no longer having to deal with others.

After all that, I grabbed a latte (and said hi to the baristas, who seemed delighted to see me), and then I drove back to the city before traffic got awful (although I took 280 to play it safe). Once here, I messed around online, took a v. brief nap, and then met up with Lauren (aka Subz) for a v. early (5:15pm) dinner at Octavia. This was ostensibly a v. belated joint celebration of our birthdays, since we hadn't gotten to grill each other about lives/futures/hopes/fears/dreams earlier due to Lauren's son's birth (he's ten weeks old already!). So we accomplished all that and more over a truly delightful meal - it's the second time I've been to Octavia, and it's absurdly delicious.

Anyway, the conversation got deep (as it often does with us), and we had almost three hours to catch up, which was wonderful. Then I came home, considered writing, and wrote it off as a fool's errand. But I sobered up from dinner (mostly) before Chandlord showed up for a few minutes - I was supposed to see her last night and had shamefully bailed, but she came over tonight and we talked briefly before she realized she was falling asleep and needed to leave immediately.

And now, I must sleep as well - I have some social plans tomorrow, but not the social death march I had today, and I am v. v. determined to write, so wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

shorty is an eeney meeney miney mo lover

I awoke at three a.m. to the unusual sound of heavy rain pelting against my skylights...if we're in for a Godzilla El Niño, I'm in for a lot of disrupted sleep. But after I grew acclimated to the weird notion of precipitation falling from the sky, I was lured back into sleep (and some v. strange dreams that I no longer remember, although I don't think they were as bad as the previous night's dreams, when some Nazis fed me into a wood chipper).

Eventually I woke up, showered, pulled myself together, and wrote for forty minutes or so while drinking iced coffee and enjoying the way the sun broke through the clouds outside my box of windows in the sky. And I actually had a brilliant idea for Rafe that solved a *lot* of problems in one fell swoop, so I felt pretty delighted by that.

But I had to put the laptop away and drive to the south bay so that I could have brunch with Heather (aka dear respected madam). I hadn't seen her since a couple of days before my unexpected trip to Iowa at the end of September, so we were v. overdue for a catchup. We went to Joanie's, which was more of a cluster than I expected because I had totally forgotten about Sunday farmers' markets on California Ave...and I was doubly surprised to see it going, given the weather. But I wasn't as surprised as the vendor whose tentpoles seemed to be flapping about and threatening to impale people. I escaped the tent scene, though, and we only waited 20-30 minutes for a table - and Joanie's is totally worth that kind of wait.

So is Heather, of course, particularly since we had a lot to catch up on. She also gave me a gorgeous little bowl that she had made; she's taken up pottery in the last few months, and it seems to be a ton of fun (and she's actually good at it, which probably makes it more fun). We talked for a couple of hours, and it was all delightful. But eventually I needed to get back to the evil city, so we parted ways, and I grabbed a Philz coffee and some gasoline to fuel the drive in multiple ways.

Once I got here, I called my parents (who I would like to say are in fine form, but it would help if my dad didn't have a propensity toward bleeding at any given opportunity - I felt vaguely nauseated hearing about his latest exploits and I didn't even have to see any of the outcome). Then, I should have gone out with Chandlord, but I was feeling the need to detox and I didn't really want to drink, and I wanted to get some work done. I think this is a sign that I'm recovering nicely from my initial post-job 'must see anyone at all costs' extroverted panic - while I still like to have a social plan every day when I can, it's no longer quite the imperative that it was this summer (although I'm sad I didn't see Vidya!).

So I canceled on fun and stayed in and worked, which was exactly what I needed - I took care of some tings (tings = making use of my 20% off everything coupon on Sephora's site), did a bit more writing brainstorming (and also had an interesting idea for the gargoyles story, although I'm not working on them right now), and then spent the last hour plotting out my tasks and activities and goals for the week. And now I'm going to sleep - tomorrow has was too many things on the list, including a doctor's appointment in Palo Alto at ten a.m., which means I really do have to get up early so that I can sit in traffic (ugh). Goodnight!

you're getting me getting me through the night

This post is skippable because my day was super boring - you've been warned.

Despite the boring nature of my day, though, it was pretty good. I pursued my new strategy of lazing about in the morning, which was quite enjoyable, but I eventually showered, tidied things up, dropped my dry cleaning off at the cleaners, and then walked downtown to do some writing at Samovar. This involved more rehashing of old ideas than I had expected; I reread a bunch of notes I'd made weeks/months ago, which helped me to pick up some plot threads that I was in danger of losing.

But this was all good, and it was accomplished over poached eggs and bacon and gluten free toast, which was even better. Then I went to the mall - I had a brief moment of wondering whether I wanted to be in a crowded location, but then I decided not to let the terrorists get in the way of me unnecessarily spending money. Not that I spent much - I bought a single sweater, in deference to all the upcoming cold weather travel I've got going on (but grandly stating that I only bought one thing ignores the fact that I have several packages of coats/leggings/socks coming, although I assume I'll return some of it).

Then, I walked home and was desperately tired, but for some stupid reason I didn't take a nap or drink caffeine - I just stared at my laptop and thought about writing, which was dumb. Then I ran to the grocery store, came home, made chicken tortilla soup, and stupidly (very stupidly) watched the Stanford game. I could have gone to the game, since Anne asked me if I wanted to go, but that would have required driving down and back by myself, and I decided I was too lazy. But the loss was pretty sad, and scotched any productivity I might have attempted tonight.

So now I'm going to go to sleep, with grand plans to be less of a hermit tomorrow - goodnight!

you see her when you close your eyes

I'm suddenly falling asleep, so I'll keep this brief. I slept in this morning (per my realization last night that I'm not a morning person), and then I did some business-type stuff (successfully!). And then I drove to San Mateo, where I worked out at the Equinox there before showering, eating something that was dangerously healthy, and going to Starbucks to meet Anne and Barbara.

It's too early to tell if my 'write in the afternoon' plan is going to work, because I didn't really get anything done this afternoon - but I kind of expected that, because I hadn't seen Anne or Barbara since Tahoe and I had too much to catch up with them about. I did a bit of brainstorming and wrote a tiny bit, but given that I was mostly there for the company, I'll take it. However, I think aiming for once a week of working out in San Mateo and meeting them after is actually a good thing - when I'm seeing them regularly, I'm less easily distracted than when we haven't caught up in a few weeks.

Anyway, I eventually left, drove back to the city (traffic was only moderately awful), and went to Adit and Priyanka's place to meet their baby. He is less than two weeks old and so is v. tiny, v. sleepy, and occasionally v. hungry. But he's also v. adorable, so there's that. Priyanka seemed to be doing really well with the whole thing; I'm less clear on how Adit's doing since I only saw him briefly, but so far so good!

Then I came home, messed around, ate some leftover jambalaya, and colored in my coloring book while thinking about the next plot twist for Rafe and Octavia (with some success, even if coloring on a Friday night is a total spinster move...but then again, I'm too focused on the book right now to care about my social life anyway). And now I'm going to go to sleep so I can conquer tomorrow - goodnight!

change my pitch up, smack my bitch up

Today was kind of a reversion to unproductive-land. However, I'm starting to wonder if all this stuff I've been spouting about how I need to write earlier in the day is real, or if I've just been saying what seemed to work when I was a) employed and had to get up early, and b) is repeated in a lot of writing/productivity blogs. I've always been a night owl, and while my commute enforced an early wake-up time for almost two years, I often wasn't that productive when I got to the office early (and even then, I'd had almost two hours to wake up and ruminate between getting ready and driving down). I was often far more productive writing at night over steak and wine than I was writing over lattes in the early morning hours, even though it was harder to motivate at night because I wanted to crawl into bed.

So for the next few days, I think I'm going to actively try doing other things in the mornings (social media, emails, reading, whatever), and write in the afternoon/late night (with some breaks in between). This seems like a better strategy, potentially, than trying to force myself out of bed and into a coffeeshop where I then am too sedated to write until I've had a lot of caffeine and plenty of time to wake up.

sssanyway. You can probably guess from that that I got up this morning and forced myself to go to Another Cafe, where I was supremely unproductive and started to hate myself for it. But I pulled myself out of my hate spiral, came home, ate lunch, did three loads of laundry, and vacuumed my apartment. I also showered in deference to the social plans I was supposed to have tonight, but they were canceled at the last minute (well - second-to-last-minute, since I hadn't left the house yet). So I went to my favorite sushi place and ate/drank there while scribbling notes to myself in my day planner - there's so much that I want to do in the weeks/months ahead, and the key is to just start making progress someplace without getting overwhelmed at the road ahead.

There are probably things I need to let go of as part of that. My day job may be one of them; while you could rightly say that I quit six months ago, I still go back way too much, and I'm still too tied to the people there, which makes it easy to imagine how easy my life would be if I still worked there. The city may be another; I can't really imagine leaving since most of my network is here, but I'm getting tired of the noise and the filth and the intractable social problems and the extremely high cost of living. And the more I can cut out the toxic, unhappy-making things in my life, the easier it would be to focus on the writing.

But that's all a task for another day. Right now I'm going to go to bed with grand plans to laze about in it tomorrow morning and write in the afternoon instead - wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

the city shimmers, our life the low hum

Today wasn't *quite* as good as I had hoped, but I'm satisfied enough with what I got done, so I'm going to chalk it up as a win. But I do need to start going to bed earlier and getting up earlier - or, perhaps, the issue is getting out of bed once I do get up, since I have a bad habit of staying under the covers and daydreaming / catching up on world events on my phone rather than getting out of bed and starting something more productive.

This morning was worse than usual for that, but that was probably because I was cold...so I finally broke down and turned the heater on for an hour or two tonight. My Iowa roots are ashamed, but my California graft nearly wept from happiness as the chill disappeared from my apartment. sssanyway, when I finally got up, I showered, took care of some tings, made a delicious breakfast (my usual scrambled eggs, but with cheese, salsa, and sour cream to liven them up), and then messed around with some stuff online.

But eventually I had to be productive or go mad, so I walked to the Mission and wrote for an hour at Ritual. Then I got my bangs trimmed (yes, I got them trimmed two weeks ago, but she didn't trim them enough, so they looked super stylish but there was no way I could go another week). And then I walked back to my neighborhood, with a stop at Flax to buy some more paper/colored pencils, and an hour and a half or so at Arlequin, where I wrote while eating fries and drinking chardonnay like the boss I am.

Once I got home, I played homemaker and finished the covering for my closet skylight - the stop at Flax, in addition to the paper/pencils, was intended to find a neutral color of duct tape, which I succeeded at, so I went the duct tape route for finishing the cover. So far it looks great, but I moved anything breakable out of its path in case it falls down in the next few days. If it survives a week, I think I'll make the same covers for the skylights above my bed so that I will no longer be awoken by the sun/moon quite so easily, but we'll see.

After that, I was still feeling industrious, so I cleaned my bathroom, but I suddenly ran out of steam when I thought that perhaps I should vacuum (vacuuming is for suckers, tee hee). So instead I messed around with my new colored pencils and contemplated my plans/goals for the rest of the week, and ate some leftover jambalaya when I realized that the fries I ate at four p.m. weren't going to get me through the night.

And now, I shall leave you - if I'm going to start writing by eight tomorrow, as is my goal, I should sleep immediately. Goodnight!