Friday, May 30, 2025
replicator
Thursday, May 29, 2025
from olalla to the city lights
Monday, May 26, 2025
rest your eyes and stay in the shade
I'm v tired and I suppose I should go to bed if I have any hope of getting work done tomorrow. I was pretty productive today, though. I woke up and spent some quality time writing this morning, which felt good. Then I showered, ate a sandwich, went to the grocery store, and embarked on my afternoon activities. This involved planting tings for several hours - [censored] had set up my raised garden beds yesterday, and I got the north one fully planted (three tomatoes, a tomatillo, five kinds of pepper, way more eggplant than I should have planted, and some basil and cilantro). We are also testing the 'Florida weave' method of supporting the tomatoes and peppers, which involves putting fence posts on either end of the garden and then holding the plants up with a figure-eights of twine weaving around them. We'll see how this goes, but I'm excited so far.
We'll also see how well AI does in planning a garden - I trained a Gemini agent by telling it I wanted it to act like a 'retired Extension director with extensive personal gardening experience', and also told it my zone, soil type, etc. It suggested what plants to put in each bed, and also told me I have too much zucchini, which I realized myself a little too late. It's been helpful so far in figuring out how to lay things out, so we'll see how it goes this summer.
In more earthy, less AI news, I also killed my first tomato worm of the season - it was just casually hanging out on one of my tomato plants before I even planted it. I assume it hitched a ride from the greenhouse, but its migration was for naught because I crushed it. This is perhaps the first of many, but I hope not.
After I planted the veggies, I took a break from the raised beds because I need more soil for the second one. Instead, I planted a couple of pots of petunias for the front, a dahlia for my balcony, and also the big railing planter that I keep on my balcony every summer. I still have more to plant this week, but I felt good about what I got done today. And I did it all while listening to a couple of audiobooks - first I started a book on consciousness, but I was having trouble focusing on it. So I switched to "Braiding Sweetgrass", which I've been meaning to read for ages, and so far it's excellent - it's by a botanist who is a member of the Potawatomi, and it's part memoir, part history, part plant/environment discussion.
When I was done planting, I cleaned up, took a shower, and then made dinner (somewhat reluctantly; if I were in Denver, I would have ordered thai takeout instead). Luckily it turned out v. well - I made pasta with sausage and swiss chard (and parmesan and lemon zest, no tomatoes), which is one of my faves. The chard came from the farmers' market yesterday, and it was pretty tasty, and [censored] and I both enjoyed it.
And now, I need to sleep - goodnight!
Sunday, May 25, 2025
dream on
Friday, May 23, 2025
i can't wait 'til tomorrow while these thoughts they all leech from my head
Thursday, May 22, 2025
i'm lookin' to help you find bliss, one day, one way, can't miss
I was not nearly as productive today as I had intended to be, and at this point I think this week is a wash. I woke up at a reasonable hour and did some journaling, which was good; I also made coffee, which was even better. And I did partake in several hours of meetings, in which I made several suggestions or decisions, so I wasn't entirely useless. But several of my afternoon meetings got canceled, and I was not feeling like picking up any of the myriad projects that I was working on in April and which I have semi-forgotten.
So, ultimately, I ended up calling it a day and doing some other personal tings. [Censored] got home at some point, and I made myself some huevos rancheros for a late dinner, since I had forgotten to eat. I also realized that I had forgotten to throw away the sour cream, which apparently expired on May 5 (don't tell [censored], who had some of it earlier this week). I realized this only after I had slathered it on my quesadilla, and since it was just slightly more sour than it usually is, I decided to roll with it. Given my preferences for food safety, you can use this to read between the lines on my mood!
Sssanyway, I ate my huevos rancheros, then talked to [censored] for awhile. And now I need to sleep so that I can get with my many and varied plans tomorrow - goodnight!
Wednesday, May 21, 2025
don't let the devil make you toss this letter
Monday, May 19, 2025
rollercoaster
I have v little to report. I went back to work today, and it rained like three inches and also hailed, which was a fitting complement to my mood. It was good to see (most of) my coworkers, but I was not feeling in it to win it. However, I did get my desk cleared off and had a few decent-enough meetings, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things without too much drama.
I was going to scrounge for dinner and make [censored] scrounge too, but the weather got me in the mood for chili, and I managed to find one non-rotten onion in my pantry (the last few weeks were not big for onion usage, apparently, and so my stockpile went to waste). So after I was done working, I made chili, and then [censored] and I watched the last SNL of the season.
And now, I need to sleep - goodnight!
Sunday, May 18, 2025
all this feels strange and untrue, and i won't waste a minute without you
I suppose I should start blogging again. The last couple of weeks have been surreal, but I'm going back to work tomorrow and there is, perhaps, some expectation that one is supposed to create normalcy?
Today did feel like a mostly normal Sunday - I journaled, did some despairing, did some cleaning, wrote for awhile on my balcony, and then ate dinner with [censored] while watching a recording of SNL. But it is still not normal. The rest of the weekend was equally surreal - birthday dinner for [censored] on Friday (in Garden Grove, which my mom enjoyed; we hadn't taken her there because Dad couldn't have climbed the steps, but [censored] and I like it and we decided to use the gift certificate we got this week), and another birthday dinner on Saturday (I made chicken and mushroom alfredo that was tasty, and a pineapple upside down cake that would have been better if it had gluten in it).
Of course, I missed telling you about visitation and the funeral and a million other details - but if I'm going to get back into blogging, I'm just going to have to jump in without the recap. Perhaps I will recap someday, but it is not this day. Goodnight!
Sunday, May 11, 2025
taken at the flood
Sunday, May 04, 2025
just the facts
I have not blogged for a week, which is probably the longest I've gone without blogging since sometime around 2005. I have not been entirely sure what to say, although I suppose the pressure is off since so few people read zee blog regularly anymore. But I should record what's going on for posterity - of the remaining readers, we do often use it to settle disputes about what happened when, and if I'm the paper of record for such happenings, I should really stay on top of it.
So, just the facts:
- on Monday, I woke up early to prep for a meeting. As I was prepping, [censored] and I got a call that Dad was at the ER. He was supposed to have an appointment farther away to check his legs, which aren't looking good, but decided that he should go to the ER instead.
- there, we learned that his sodium is lower than the doctor has ever seen (although we learned that Tuesday night; in the ER they were not alarmist, although they were concerned).
- it became clear that if we wanted to pursue aggressive treatment, he would need to be transferred to a bigger hospital. But, there were no beds anywhere in Des Moines, and so the closest options were Cedar Rapids or Kansas City (note: neither of them are close).
- given all of his many and varied and complicated issues, we decided that it might be time for hospice. Mom, [censored] and I had a really nice conversation with the ER ARNP about this, and also talked to Dad. We didn't exactly make any firm decisions, but we decided to stay local and admit him to the hospital here.
- Tuesday, we talked to the hospice people, who are really quite nice and very supportive. Dad also got a brief visit from Darrell. And then Aunt Kathy came down, followed a bit later by Drewbaby and Sammie. We all spent the afternoon together (except for the brief period when I got allergy shots, which I of course reacted to). They stuck around for an extremely cheap dinner in the cafeteria, and then they all went back to Des Moines since [censored] and I were not up for guests.
- After they left, Mom and [censored] and I had a long conversation with the doctor on call at the hospital, whom I really liked. We agreed that it was definitely time for hospice based on the aforementioned sodium and all the other issues.
- Wednesday, Dad went home. Hospice set us up with a bunch of stuff to keep him comfortable, and luckily so far he's able to drive his scooter around the house, although he's getting weaker again...
- The hospice nurse and social worker came to meet us at home, and it's really quite impressive all the stuff that they can provide. So hopefully he can stay home for the duration, but we'll see. I also grilled some ribeyes because I absolutely had to (I'd thawed it intending to make dinner Tuesday), even though no one had much appetite.
- Thursday, they brought a different mattress to support him better, and some other random equipment. We also met the aide who will come to help with stuff, who happens to be my new neighbor. Darrell came by again, and I made a valiant effort to take some meetings - but I quickly realized I had zero interest in doing any of it.
- Friday, I took one meeting and then decided to call it a day. I hung out with the parents for awhile, and then I decided to go to Centerville to get some groceries. I also picked up Chinese food, since Dad had been craving it. This has mostly been eaten by [censored], but I expected that to happen. While I was gone, my sister came by to see Dad, but I missed her visit. Later, Lee Ann and Clell dropped off cinnamon rolls and soup, and stayed to chat for a bit.
- Saturday, Allie and Chris came down to see Dad. I figured out how to make popcorn in his popcorn popper, which is something no one else knows how to do because only Dad uses the popcorn popper. I made a new-to-me recipe for beef and noodles - I put a chuck roast in the instant pot and pressure cooked it until it fell apart, and then I brought it up to a boil and cooked a bunch of gluten free fettuccine in it. I also made mashed potatoes. We all really liked it, and it's definitely something I would make again. And Joan dropped off some soup, which means Mom and Dad's fridge has stuff in it. We ended the night by watching some Joy of Painting, which really is a joy.
- Today, I got up way too early, but had to do some stuff for the library board, so I spent a couple of quiet hours working on that while [censored] dealt with the early morning stuff at Mom and Dad's. Then I went out to their house since Zane and Allison and also Sammi came down to see Dad. We all talked for awhile, which wore Dad out, so I left shortly after they did, came home and ate a late lunch, and did some more library stuff. Then I went to the grocery store, took groceries to Mom, hung out with Dad for a bit, and then came home to make fresh mashed potatoes for [censored] and I to eat with the leftover noodles.
So that's the update. None of it is pleasant, but Dad is still lucid and able to talk (when he's not sleeping), so I guess there's that. Luckily work has been super understanding and [censored] has also mostly been off, so we can do what we need to do.
But right now what I need to do is go to bed.
Sunday, April 27, 2025
rest your eyes and stay in the shade
I slept pretty well last night, except for the hour after the smoke detectors went off at 1am. I was pretty sure there was no actual smoke since only the Google smoke detectors alerted (and they stopped after a minute), and the hard-wired ones did nothing. But still, [censored] and I both got up and checked things out, and I ran next door to make sure the other house wasn't on fire (it wasn't, although if it was, that would have saved me from having to make decisions about what to do with it).
So I eventually went back to sleep and slept until almost nine. Then I was slow to get around, but I spent a few hours engaged in some writing-adjacent activities while drinking my coffee. After I got dressed and ate lunch, I ran into town to buy some broccoli, and then I spent the rest of the afternoon finishing my basement project. I got all of my stuff organized, for the most part; there are some empty boxes to throw away and some empty plastic totes to do something with, but I'm quite pleased with how organized everything looks.
Unfortunately, just as I was wrapping up in the basement and getting ready to make supper, I dropped a bottle of wine and shattered it. Luckily it was one of the cheapest bottles on the rack, and also luckily it was rosé and so didn't stain; unluckily, the glass went everywhere, and it was a bitch to clean up. That took my last bit of energy and willpower, and then I still had to make dinner if [censored] and I wanted something to eat. Luckily again, I had planned to make salmon teriyaki, which is one of the easiest things to throw together, so we ate only ten minutes later than I had intended.
But now I need to go to bed so that I can recoup some energy for a long work slog tomorrow - goodnight!
Saturday, April 26, 2025
somebody told me to believe in better times
Wednesday, April 23, 2025
setting the lea of nebraska alight
Let's see, what's going on. Yesterday was all slogging all the time - I didn't have a tremendous amount of meetings, but I had a lot of work that I needed to get done. Luckily I was able to do some of it on my balcony, and I also had some journaling time out there, so it could have been worse. I stayed up too late finishing some stuff, but that's the way it goes when you're in the corporate trenches.
This morning, I woke up and took my time getting ready instead of jumping straight into work. This was probably good for me stress levels, although I felt a little behind all day. Around 5:45 I threw in the towel, ate a quick and early dinner of leftover chicken chile verde, and sped 'downtown' to take a group photo with some of the secret society members. Our usual meeting was tonight anyway, but we met early to take a photo to send to the state office. Then I sped back home and changed my clothes before going to the meeting, since I had to wear something specific tonight and did not want to wear it for the photo.
So I went to the meeting, and a good time was (mostly) had by all, and I got to eat Reese's Pieces that Julie brought as part of her snack offering, which I enjoyed. Then I came home, did a tiny bit of work, and talked to [censored] for awhile. Then I came upstairs and did a tiny bit more work, but now I think it's time to throw in the towel. Goodnight!
Monday, April 21, 2025
baby when I'm yelling at you it's not your fault
Sunday, April 20, 2025
quiet now, will we gather to conjure the rain down
I spent entirely too much time this weekend staring at laptops, but since it rained all day today, that was probably the best thing I could do. I spent the morning doing some desultory writing + messing around with some research into marketing techniques. I also read a bunch of online content in an effort to get inspired, with mostly positive results.
Then I took a break to have a turkey sandwich (thanks to my mom's efforts yesterday), did a couple of loads of laundry, and threw together some chicken chile verde in the instant pot. This was not what was for dinner, since I was pretty sure [censored] wouldn't like it - I had some chicken thighs languishing in the freezer that I never cook since [censored] doesn't like dark meat, and I also had some tomatillos and peppers that I bought on my grocery run last weekend that were about to go bad. So I threw them all in the pressure cooker purely so that I will have food to eat this week without needing to cook on my work nights. It turned out quite well, if I do say so myself, so I can cook some rice tomorrow night and feast as soon as [censored] departs.
After I cooked that and cleaned everything up, I made actual dinner - elmer's chili sounded good on a rainy day like today, so I threw together a batch. [Censored] and I ate it while watching some Big Bang reruns, and then I finished cleaning up the kitchen, came upstairs, procrastinated for a bit, debated going to bed, and instead forced myself to get a second wind so I could work for a couple of hours and take care of a task that I desperately needed to do before tomorrow. There's another task I also need to desperately do tomorrow, but at least I got this one done and it's (almost) feasible to do the other task in the morning.
But if I'm going to do that, I need to sleep - goodnight!
Saturday, April 19, 2025
did you notice, did you notice i'm feeling uninspired? i think i'm crossing wires
I had a reasonably good day - I woke up feeling inspired to be productive, and I was moderately successful at that. I mostly messed around on my laptop, but I felt like it was mostly for good endeavors. And I took a couple of breaks, did several loads of laundry, took a shower, and generally enjoyed the afternoon.
Eventually, I went out to Mom and Dad's for dinner - it is Easter but it felt like Thanksgiving because my mom thawed out a turkey that needed used. So we had turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, layered lettuce, and five cup salad, and it was all quite tasty. I had to carve the turkey because my dad wasn't up to doing it, and I did not cut it as nicely as he is capable of doing - but the turkey itself was excellent, so we were all happy about that.
And now, I need to sleep - goodnight!
Friday, April 18, 2025
so clear but so unheard
I had an okay day, but my energy was off - I stayed up way too late last night, and I had to get up at seven if I had any hope of making it to the hospital by eight (which I did, but just barely). I got my annual mammogram, and then I went to the clinic next door and got allergy shots, which unfortunately swelled up. But I was home by 9:30ish, and ready to get on with my day.
So I worked all day, with a couple of meetings in the afternoon - my focus was a little off since I was tired and not feeling #inittowinit, but it was better than nothing. And I stopped around five to drive over to Centerville for dinner with Hannah. We went to our usual spot to celebrate her recent birthday, and we had a delightful time - many jokes and philosophical topics were exchanged, and I'm glad we were able to get together.
Then I came home, said hi to [censored], dozed while scrolling reddit (and while [censored] watched a youtube video about tractors, which seemed to have a meandering plot and limited character development), and then came upstairs. I think I'll try to go to bed early (for me) in hopes that I can seize tomorrow. Goodnight!
Thursday, April 17, 2025
lay me down in a field of flame and heather
I have screwed up because it's after midnight and I have to be at a doctor's appointment a little before 8am. Today was a bit of a slog - I had a bunch of work to get done (with mixed results), and a bunch of afternoon meetings, and I got pulled into another meeting from 7-7:45pm. So that was all a lot.
But I took a break before the 7pm meeting to make dinner, with mixed results - I wanted to attempt pancakes, and they were pretty good, but they weren't exactly what I had in mind. And in the process, I did not do as good a job with my hashbrowns as I usually do. But [censored] and I enjoyed it all anyway, especially with the bacon that turned out perfectly. And I got some good work done tonight after dinner, so I'll take it.
And now I must sleep - goodnight!
Wednesday, April 16, 2025
wednesday my empty arms were open
I have nothing to report this week - I'm just working, sleeping, having headaches, and monitoring the economy/political situation with increasing alarm. But I did some work/writing after work from my balcony, which was v. nice. And [censored] is around this week, so we ate frozen fish (regular for him, gf for me) + curly fries for dinner, which was pretty tasty.
And now, even though it's still early, I think I'm going to go to bed - goodnight!