Saturday, March 05, 2005

smile like you mean it

Work has been hectic, to say the least, and I have about ten hours of stuff to do this weekend that I would prefer to forget about. For those of you whom I've not been in contact with, I apologize; I'm so tired when I get home from work that I don't want to do *anything*.

In addition, I got my performance review for last quarter at the end of last week, and one of the suggestions for improvement was to dress up more so that I could assert myself as more of a leader. To this end, I went shopping on both Monday and Tuesday night so that I would have more 'business casual' clothes to wear to work. So, I now own pinstriped pants, and a cream-colored wool skirt, and a pretty pink sweater that is a sedate shade of pink, rather than a blinding shade of pink, and a pair of peach pants that would be capris on a normal girl but instead fit me just right without requiring annoying hemming. I have also been blow-drying my hair, and applying my makeup in a subtle and professional manner. However, today it was raining, I played DDR with Claude in the morning and so was running late, and then we were both drying our hair at the same time and so blew a fuse. Because of all those annoyances, I wore sneakers and jeans to work--and I did feel more slovenly than I had all week, so maybe dressing up is a good thing. So, more shopping this weekend? Perhaps--although doing laundry is also key, so that I can wear all of the clothes that I already have.

So, last Saturday, I bought an awesome couch and loveseat after eating dim sum; they were delivered on Tuesday, and I am in love. They are overstuffed, and covered in sage-green microfiber (so it feels like suede)--I'm not a fan of sage green, but it really works in the beige-and-cream color scheme of the apartment, and the couches are super-comfy. Yay for new furniture! The place is starting to look like it might possibly be inhabited by grownups, someday.

Sunday was Claude's birthday party, which wasn't the most exciting birthday party known to man, but it was still very entertaining. I had to work late on Monday, and then go shopping, and I also shopped Tuesday night. Wednesday night, I had to stay late at work again, then hung out with Tammy. Yesterday, I had Shari, Greg and Julie over for dinner; we made fajitas, and Claudia pressed the leftover chocolate fondue on them, and a good time was had by all. I really just like dinner parties, and I don't care who I'm feeding as long as I have the opportunity to do it, so I will have to plan more such gatherings in the future. Today, I worked, came home, ate a peanut butter and jelly sammich, and then read 'Regency London' while doing some desultory watching of the History Channel. The book wasn't entirely useful for my needs, since it spent much more time on architecture than it did on society, but it was still interesting.

Tomorrow, I'm taking Ritu to the airport, then hanging out someplace around South San Francisco/Millbrae while waiting for the kids to drive up and have dim sum with me. Then, perhaps we're going shopping for a bed frame for Claudia...and then I will be working furiously in an attempt to finish my work so that I can enjoy Sunday.

I feel like I'm retarded when it comes to my job; at the end of the day, I never expected that I'd end up in business, and I would still like to be a novelist, but despite all that I seem to be ridiculously ambitious while I'm employed, to the point that I'm changing my entire wardrobe just to ensure that my level of responsibility continues to increase. And yet, if that happens, I'll just have even more work to do, which seems ridiculous. Ah well, c'est la vie, and I have a passion for the role that I have despite the fact that I'm not enamored with corporate culture in general.

So, I'm tired, overworked, I think I'm getting sick, I haven't written anything in my romance novel, my room is a complete wreck, I need to clean my bathroom, and I have about five loads of laundry sitting in my closet. And yet, the fact that I'm always so strapped for time is, I think, a good thing--it keeps me from dwelling on those-things-which-must-not-be-named, and it ensures that I seize the small amusements where I can, rather than moping because something grand and adventurous is not occurring. Someday I would like to return to grand and adventurous (or at least moody and 'artistic'), but for now I'm happy where I am.

No comments: