i pushed you 'cause i loved you guys, i didn't realize you weren't having fun

I have a tremendous headache, which is probably because I need to think about my life and I don't want to. I had a meeting with my Dublin manager today; she's fantastic, and she's always encouraging me to think more about what I want from my career (which admittedly I need to do)...but I have trouble stepping back and examining my career when I'm so damn busy with all of the things that I need to do, like, *now*. She insisted that I schedule a couple of hours of 'sara time' on my calendar so that I would actually start thinking of some of this stuff before I leave here.

The problem is that, while I may like examining the darkness of the human condition, I don't particularly enjoy thinking about my own strengths. She's right in that I am always focusing my overly-critical gaze on all of the things that are wrong with me, and she told me that I need to make a comprehensive list of my strengths and start focusing on the competitive advantage that I can gain from my strengths, rather than my obsessive (my word, not hers) need to fix everything that I'm only passably good at. In other words, my perfectionist tendencies are hindering my ability to actually move forward. Or, to put it another way, I'm a classic ENTJ (to use Meyers-Briggs terminology); the ENTJ is considered the 'field-marshal', is only present in 2% of the population, and from all of the descriptions sounds rather insufferable. It's true, though--I do tend to end up in leadership positions without intending to, mostly because I have a ruthless desire to perfect everything and I don't have the patience to wait for someone else to do it. I share these lovable traits with such famous people as Margaret Thatcher and Napoleon. So, it's rather ironic that I want to write romance novels, since my personality is about as far away from romance as one can get.

Anyway, I need to be thinking about my strengths, not my weaknesses, right? And to do that, I need sustenance, so I'm going to go home, find some dinner, and then go to bed. 'sara time' can wait for another day. Goodnight, everyone!