blacking out the friction

I watched most of 'When Harry Met Sally' on AMC tonight. The bad thing about movies on TV is that the commercial breaks are sometimes almost as long as the segments of the movie. In this case, one commercial break was so long that I was able to go to the bathroom and make hot chocolate from scratch (sans microwave). Ridiculous. Anyway, I was in the wrong mood to watch a romantic comedy, since I've been feeling rather pragmatic lately and don't really need a lot of drivel about modern romances. Historical romances, on the other hand, are another story. However, the book that I started over the weekend and finished tonight was basically a disappointment; the story was too predictable (even for a romance novel), the ending was forced, and the writing wasn't particularly good. Ah, well, what did I expect?

I'm excited about the upcoming release of the extended version of 'The Return of the King'; however, it's coming out in December, which is too late for a marathon viewing during Thanksgiving. Can asked me yesterday if we were having Thanksgiving dinner at my house, and of course it's happening and I was already thinking about it, but I thought that September was a bit early for Thanksgiving invitations. But, if you're interested, keep it in mind that there will definitely be Thanksgiving festivities in my apartment, and feel free to contact me and invite yourself over if you are worried about being left out. I won't even make you play mafia with me; completely stuffing you with hearty Thanksgiving food is more than enough for me.

I really do have almost a compulsion to take care of people. I could never be a nurse, because I don't want to take care of people with spongebaths and bedpans. However, I do like feeding people, and making them comfortable, and befriending them. It's like I like taking care of peoples' hearts and souls. Except I have no desire to be a priest. So I guess taking care of peoples' hearts is the best description. Hearts and stomachs. It's therefore deliciously ironic that I have yet to find someone to mutually love; but, for some reason, I'm a little more at peace with that than I have been for the past few months. At the end of the day, if I were dating someone, I would have much less time for my friends. I have too many people whom I would miss if I were dating someone seriously, and I don't like doing things by half-measures, so I can't imagine that I would casually date someone for very long.

Not that it matters. I'm not looking, and I'm very good at sensing even the slightest hint of danger and freezing it out before it reaches the point where I would actually be asked out. Between my disinterest in actually pursuing someone and my absolute loathing of encouraging anyone's interest in me, I'd say I'm pretty much closed for business right now.

And hey, that's okay.

There are many interesting things about life that I have been missing during my occasional moping fits. I need to write my romance novel. I want to reconnect with my friends. I would like to figure out what I want from life. None of those things would happen if I were dating something. And if denying that I want a relationship isn't 'blacking out the friction,' I don't know what is :)