drive until you lose the road or break with the ones who followed

My eyes are rolling back in my head and my back feels like it's been hunched over a desk for half an eternity, so I think it's time for bed. I managed to drag myself down to Palo Alto to train with Alyssa, who tortured me in such a good-natured way that I can't really resent her. Then I did some work in the gym cafe while eating a salad; then I did some work while getting a coffee at Philz; then I went to Stanford library, where I stayed until eleven p.m. and wrote approximately 15 pages. The end is still in sight, but perhaps it's one of those desert mirages where the cool mountains always seem to be within a day's journey, until the day you break down and shoot your friend so you have something to eat. Yum.

Uh, not yum - sorry. I really should sleep. I took a break to grab supper, and v. stupidly had pasta since it was the only thing appealing on campus (since I knew that if I left I would have no desire to go back), and now everything is vaguely itchy and my stomach hurts. Stupid. When I finally left campus, I realized I needed to get gas, but my usual go-to station was inexplicably closed. So I got off at the Menlo Park exit, which should be safe enough, and pulled into a station with three other cars at it, which should be even safer -- only to end up in the middle of a marital (?) dispute in which the woman came over to ask me for gas money (I refused), and then they started screaming at each other. Needless to say, I only got enough gas to get me home before leaving, which appeared to be the game plan of everyone else at the station, who were all looking at each other nervously before leaving at the same time (since I don't think anyone wanted to be the last man there).

sssanyway, I made it home alive, and then spent the last half hour looking at places to go for a last-minute extreme hermitville hideaway next week so that I can finish this damn book in a slew of fourteen-hour days. I feel kind of ridiculous that I have to go away to finish the book, since I'm funemployed and could theoretically do it here -- but going away has proven hugely useful in the past, so perhaps it's worth it. We shall see, we shall see. Now though, I must sleep -- goodnight!