seven is the new eight

I'm excited that even though I have to get up at seven a.m. tomorrow, it will feel like eight a.m. - if only I could maintain that feeling forever! Even better, of course, would be not having to set an alarm at all, but as long as I'm still in corporate America, I suppose I will have to play by their rules.

The 'rules', of course, do not stop me from dressing as I please - I had my Q3 performance review today with my manager (also a director, and so one of the most powerful people in my department), and while I wore a somber black top and dark grey wool skirt, I accessorized the outfit with knee-high boots and green tights. Snazzy, eh?

The review went pretty well; most of it was really positive, which is nice, particularly since I have been working my ass off the past few months. The areas of 'constructive' feedback (which, since I'm self-critical, I always term 'things I suck at') were around my people management skills, which I initially found surprising - I feel that I have generally good relationships with my team and with my peers. However, after some quick reflection post-review, it makes sense - while I really like my team and feel like they like me back, I am not the most patient person in the world. And even though I idealize and idolize people who are able to strike exactly the right note when it comes to reading peoples' feelings, getting buy-in, etc., I am also very numbers/facts focused, and so I'm not easily swayed by peoples' feelings - I need to see evidence and make rational decisions, rather than changing my mind just because someone is upset. That's not exactly the warmest way to deal with things, and it's helped me to get a lot done, but I recognize that I risk alienating people or not doing enough to convince them because I tend to think I'm right about things.

The problem is that generally I am right about things, which is a horribly obnoxious thing to say, but in practice is often true. And so I can't really complain that I got feedback about it, because the feedback was completely accurate - it's more that I'm not sure how much energy I want to devote to changing myself. I do want to have a really strong and great rapport with my team, so I'm willing to make changes that will help them to feel more secure and supported, but I don't really see a lot of value in trying to build true consensus across dozens of managers on every single decision that I make. Or maybe I'm just being lazy, who knows.

Anyway, as I said, the review was good, but the crux of the issue is that I would rather be working on my romance novel than improving my business acumen, so we'll see what happens. Now, though, I should go to bed and save up my strength - I'm having dinner with friends tomorrow night to celebrate the end of this stage of Sri's thesis, and Adit will be there, which means I need all the energy I can get. I hope he's happy I referenced him! Now, it's time for bed.