Saturday, February 02, 2008

you're killing me with your love




















How creepy is this? My team edited romance novel covers and photoshopped my face into them. Who knew that glasses could look so sexy on a Viking woman?
















My team all wore pink for my last day in the office. And no, I wasn't already wearing the boa - they gave me a boa and a light-up tiara.

















Koolwal looking artistic with my caipirinha. The bartender at this bar is a true artist; he also looks like he will cut you if you complain about your drink.

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It's been a rollercoaster of emotions over the past 48 hours, and I only expect that rollercoaster to continue. Yesterday was my last day in the office, and saying goodbye to people was really hard. I adore my team, and they reciprocated by throwing a surprise party at the end of the day, in which they all brought various pink foods, decorated a conference room with pink balloons, streamers, and various romance novel covers, and gave me a great card and a photo of the team. I'm really going to miss them - a year ago around this time, I wasn't really sure I wanted to be a manager, but now the interactions I have with the people who report to me are some of the most fulfilling aspects of my job. Or rather, were some of the most fulfilling aspects of my job - the job is on hiatus, and I need to stop thinking like I'm going back in on Monday!

I also had to say goodbye to various friends, which was surprisingly difficult; I've done this twice before (in 2005 to India, and 2006 to Dublin), but this feels more real. I was also supposed to pack up my desk, but I didn't get to it, so I ended up going into the office for a few hours this afternoon to pack everything up, wrap up some last-minute stuff, etc. I don't have to go into the office again for anything (although I do want to see a few people for lunch if possible)...and it was definitely strange to undock my computer for the last time, and then walk through the darkened halls and out the door. Even if I come back, everything will be different, so this is definitely a cliffhanger season finale even if it isn't the series finale yet.

My maudlin mood wasn't helped by my hangover - my leave of absence got started with a bang last night. Adit had texted me to see if I wanted to go up to the city with him, rather than drive myself to Tom's going-away party. Under normal circumstances, I would have driven myself, stayed sober, and come home, since I was feeling rather emotionally fragile. However, I am committed to living an interesting (or at least entertaining) life for the next six months, so I decided to take him up on the offer. We went to his apartment, had a screwdriver, stopped at a bar and had another drink (mine was the caipirinha pictured above), then met Vidya at a wine bar for a v. late dinner and some more alcohol.

The place we went to was called Cav, and I liked it quite a bit. We had some Italian wine whose name I have forgotten, which I quite enjoyed. I had the beef tenderloin, despite the fact that cows are sacred to my two companions. It was the best steak dish I've had in recent memory. But, Adit is not a good influence for me, and when we had dessert, he conned me into having a glass of port with him. For us, port is not something to be savored - port is a reminder of one epic night (the night before my honors thesis was due), when Adit, Claude and I had far too much wine, followed by a bottle of port, followed by general misery. Anyway, this was the best port I've had, but it was still a mistake; by the time we got to Tom's, I was already in a v. happy place, even without the influence of whatever I consumed when I got there.

But, it was great to see Tom and Julie - and I was quite surprised to see Tommy there, whom I haven't seen in almost a year. We had a nice chat, and hopefully I'll catch up with him again when I'm a bit more sober. After that, I took a cab back to Adit's, where I fell asleep quite quickly and awoke this morning to exactly what I deserved. I was restored by a late breakfast at a restaurant in his neighborhood, and then he brought me home. I also fulfilled my civic duty today and voted early in the California primary, which was fun, before going to the office, and you know the rest.

I could really go off on an extremely depressing and tangential discourse on my memories of the past and my fears for the future, but I'm not going to. The good thing is that there is an equal part of me that is ridiculously excited about this time off, to the point that I sometimes just feel like jumping up and down or laughing for no reason. So, while living with such conflicting emotions is not easy, at least there is a bright side to every dark side. Now, though, I'm going to go to bed - I didn't get much sleep last night, and I have to drive to LA tomorrow. Goodnight!

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