whiskey and whores

The phrase that I used to title my blog post tonight has been stuck in my head; if I recall correctly, it's what my father claimed he would buy with the money my grandmother gave him for Christmas (she suggested a tree for their yard, but boys will be boys).

So, it's now officially Christmas Day in Iowa - merry Christmas! We celebrated the traditional Wampler family Christmas Eve today, made a bit more entertaining by the strange and treacherous storm scouring the midwest. We're in this weird band currently getting rain, and so my aunts and uncles were able to drive down from Des Moines this morning, but it's anyone's guess what will happen tomorrow, particularly since we have been hovering right at freezing for the last six hours. Despite the weather, the clan convened, and stayed convened all day. We had lunch (smoked turkey sandwiches, etc.), and then played three games of Apples to Apples (miraculously, I won all three - not to brag or anything) before taking a break from the game playing. With my parents and brother, Aunt Becky and the formerly-scandalous Uncle Brian, Uncle Mark, Aunt Kathy and my cousin Drew-baby, and Gram, we were at ten people, which is too much for such fun pursuits as Rail Baron (which we also wouldn't have had time for, since we only had five or six hours between lunch and dinner) or Scotland Yard. So, we milled about the house, I put gold tinsel in Aunt Becky's hair, and we ultimately ended up opening gifts at five p.m.

As usual, Gram received the most presents and was annoyed that she got more than everyone else. I still received some nice gifts, including a couple of cookbooks (a Barefoot Contessa book and a book on authentic Mexican cooking, which I have wanted to learn and will need to know if I ever move away from the bay area and back to the hinterland), a really pretty set of glass fountain pens that Aunt Becky and Uncle Brian brought back from the Italian honeymoon, and a digital picture frame conveniently loaded with pictures of Aunt B's wedding and honeymoon. Then, we had our traditional Christmas Eve supper (lasagna and garlic bread), and people hung out and watched my parents put together tomorrow's breakfast casserole, my mom do dishes, and me make the blueberry cream cheese cake that is normally the "blue ring" in the Olympic Rings Cakes (tm). I left out the blue food coloring though, so it almost looks edible (although even with the food coloring, Adit dubbed it "next level cake", since it's so good that it takes cakes to the next level).

Everyone left after "The Mentalist" was over at ten, and then the four of us sat around and talked until 11:30 (obviously by that I mean my father fell asleep, my brother went downstairs to finish wrapping stuff for tomorrow morning, and my mom and I talked). But now, it's time for bed -- Santa demands that I get up at 7am tomorrow so that the four of us can exchange gifts before the clan returns at eleven, and I must accede to Santa's wishes in this matter. Merry Christmas, everyone!