do you ever feel, feel so paper thin

I had a moment just now (while remembering the time that a rat bolted across the entertainment center while we were watching television in my apartment in Hyderabad) when I felt like the earlier portions of my life were something that happened to someone else. And earlier tonight, while writing the last twenty or so Christmas cards on my list, I idly thought to myself that I might like to live in Washington, D.C., since I've greatly enjoyed my visits there -- and then realized that my life is starting to settle into certain grooves, and the likelihood of spending a year or two someplace is diminishing as I get older.

I've gone on (and on) about this before, and I know that it's my classic desire to run away that's fueling thoughts of new cities -- but then again, I didn't really feel much regret over the fact that I likely won't like in D.C., which is probably a good sign. I don't think I'll spend the rest of my life in California...but I do think that it will be a point to which I keep returning, even if I occasionally spend months wandering. Iowa is also that point, but in a different way -- here, the 'point' is the very specific confluence of my family and my house, while in California, it's a broader, shallower swamp (if you will) containing a variety of locations and many different friends of varying degrees. They each have their own magic and their own appeal -- and when I'm in one, I sort of let the other one slip away (which is why I tend to be an even worse correspondent when I'm at home, even though I have all sorts of time).

Anyway, today was spent almost entirely in preparation for my return to the golden state; I packed up a couple of boxes of Christmas presents to ship to California, packed my suitcases, saw both my sister and my grandmother, ate a bologna sandwich (I am working out with Alyssa first thing Thursday morning and she is going to kill me), took care of a variety of tings online, and had supper with my parents and brother (steak and baked potatoes, yum). Then, I wrote Christmas cards -- probably not the most social way to spend my last night at home, but I didn't want to haul them back with me either, and knew that it was either now or never. I did Christmas cards while watching the new Paula Abdul vehicle "Live to Dance" and an episode of "NCIS", which is why it took three times longer than it should have -- and by the time I was done, my parents were mostly asleep. And now, after doing the last things on my to-do list, I should really go to sleep; my flight leaves in eleven and a half hours, and I have much to do before it does. Goodnight!