I am attempting to embrace a calmer, less angry state - or, as I told someone at work, I'm getting off of the 'rage plane' that I had gotten onto last week, when I had transcended anger and entered some entirely different state of being that was mostly pure rage. Part of this is an attempt to remember all of the things I've learned and self-awareness I've gained over the last decade; part is sheer exhaustion with the idea of being enraged; and part is some sort of smug satisfaction over being the first person in my general vicinity at work to get out of the rage plane. Yes, that's not a very healthy or charitable response. But I'll take what I can get; I am much more productive and generally better able to help others and move things forward for my own nefarious ends when I'm not enraged, so that's an admirable goal.
sssanyway, I went to Palo Alto this morning and trained with Alyssa, but our workout wasn't particularly intense because I was so sore from Tuesday and generally unable to recover that she took it easy on me. Then I went to work, took a meeting, showered (you can see that those were in a rather unfortunate order, so it's good that Alyssa went easy on me so that I didn't end up stinky), worked, had lunch (fish tacos, sans taco), and had meetings until fiveish. Then I did a bit of work, left at six, and somehow managed to keep from stabbing myself in the eyeball during the ninety minutes it took to get home. When I got here, I should have either gone to Jess's musical recital or gone out for drinks with someone I recently befriended, but I was thirty minutes late already for the musical thing and the new friend socializing didn't seem soothing enough for my exhausted state (being calm and holier-than-thou takes soooo much energy). So I had dinner with Terry instead, which involved steak and wine (can you guess where we went?). And now I must sleep; I'm working from home tomorrow so that I can get a lot of stuff done and also end at four p.m. so that I can write. Goodnight!
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