squirting for broccoli

I have discovered a new mathematical equation: (6 bourbon cocktails) = (point at which I text [censored] and tell him that I [censored]). To add a footnote, the sixth cocktail was served in a pint glass, which was really overkill.

As you may have guessed from that, Ritu and I had a great girls' night out tonight. Today was a really lowkey, lazy day - she didn't get home from her hospital shift until four a.m. (new time), and I had writing to do, so our mornings were spent somewhat separately. I tried to get up early and failed, but I rallied and put on pants and went to Peets, where I wrote for three solid hours and made some good progress. Then Ritu swung by, and we took a lyft to Barcelona (the amazing tapas restaurant, not the city that would be impossible to reach in a lyft). She and I had been there with Bill in May, and it's a great scene for brunch - my cocktail there was nice (although I was v. self-controlled and only had one), and the dishes were to die for (especially the steak and eggs and the spanish tortilla).

Then we came home, and I took a time out to send an email to my editor with the current half-finished draft of my book. Then I showered, talked to my parents, and almost got sucked in to an awful dance movie...but instead, Ritu and I rallied and went out for the night (where we treated tonight like the Saturday night we didn't have).

Our first stop was reached by taking a lyft with an incredibly weird, over-chatty driver who had apparently had every career in Boston over the past thirty years, but c'est la vie. Then we went to Drink, where we had two drinks each. Drink is a cocktail bar where they don't have a drinks menu and just ask you to give them a flavor profile to build the drink - this is a great idea in theory, but in practice I have trouble describing exactly what I like in a drink, and also they basically were just making classic/obscure cocktails and claiming they'd made them up. Or maybe they didn't claim they made them up, but that was the vibe I got.

Still, it was a great place to hang out for a couple of hours, even if my first bourbon cocktail (a 1794, apparently) was a little too bitter for my tastes, and the second (a Remember the Maine, which is great for the name alone) really didn't need absinthe. But the fries were awesome and the deviled eggs with bacon on top were the bomb dot com, so #noregrets.

Then we went to Sarma, which I'd been to with Ritu and Bill before - it's Mediterranean tapas, so I joked that we were having our eighteenth appetizer of the day there. The food was truly outstanding - the baked feta was one of the best things I've ever had, and the duck was perfectly cooked, and it was all incredible. My bourbon cocktails there were even better than the ones. So all in all, it was a great, crazy weekend and I also got a lot of work done - I'm going to call it a success. Goodnight!

the monsters turned out to be just trees

I was slightly hungover this morning, but tonight I am unusually up way too late because I was working - this is not a phrase I've ever typed while staying with Ritu, so take a screenshot because it won't last. I didn't sleep all that well last night from a combo of jetlag/alcohol/unfamiliar noises, so I laid in bed until ten, and then I got up and hung out with Ritu. We drank coffee and laughed and looked at pictures from her honeymoon (oddly, that was highly enjoyable and not at all something that I pretended to like doing), and we ate brie for breakfast, and it was all delightful.

But then we realized we should do something outside the house, so we v. quickly showered and drove out to Walden Pond. To my eyes, the fall colors were still gorgeous; to Ritu's eyes, they were boring and dead, since the leaves were much more vibrant a couple of weeks ago. But we parked and walked around part of the pond, and I really enjoyed it despite the fact that I had the wrong footwear for it. Thoreau clearly would have been an annoying hipster if he lived today, so we of course took some selfies and were generally jokey about the whole thing. But the fact that we rallied to do something outside that didn't involve alcohol is both rare and commendable for us, so I think you should all give us a round of applause.

After that, we were beyond starving, so we drove back to Brookline and had a v. late (3:45pm) lunch at Otto. They have a great gluten free pizza, which is what I got; Ritu got two premade slices and a salad because she had to eat really fast and go straight to work for her night shift. After she left, I lingered over my glass of wine, and then I walked back to her place and promptly took a nap.

That kind of derailed my intended productivity, since I was then a little too groggy/not in it to win it. But I made some coffee, messed around on the internet for too long, and then finally worked for most of the night. I was editing/cleaning up what I have, so there was no massive gain in wordcount, but what I did accomplish was good.

Now, though, I need to sleep - I want to do a bit more work in the morning before Ritu and I pursue our day of fun, and that requires a break from the screen. Goodnight!

take me to church

I'm in Boston and it's almost three a.m., and I've had more than my body weight in alcohol, which should not surprise you since I'm visiting Ritu, who is perhaps the only true rival Adit has in terms of consistent ability to push my liver past its limits. [note: I don't actually hold either of them responsible; clearly the strange, wonderful alchemy of our friendships encourages us to keep going long past when we all know we should stop, because who would want such a wonderful thing to stop? it's just that in most of my relationships, the other person is smart enough to call a halt after the fifth drink rather than getting a crazy light in their eyes and going all in....]

sssanyway. Today was pretty much perfect, although I only got five and a half hours of sleep. I was so disoriented when the alarm went off at 5:30am that I bolted awake, thought 'I don't go to work anymore and no one owns me!', and almost went back to sleep before remembering that I had a plane to catch. So I hustled through the shower and out the door, and I made it to the airport in time to eat a proper breakfast and get an iced coffee before boarding, which was perfectly timed.

The flight was super uneventful (after they got the boarding door closed, which looked dicey for about five minutes), and I actually wrote 3200+ words, which is close to my record for a non-end-of-book day. Apparently knowing that there is no internet to check is good for my creativity; who knew. And that was even with some breaks to enjoy my coffee and play sudoku on my phone.

When I got to Boston, I discovered that Ritu was working later than planned. At first I bought a coffee, but then I realized that I was about to have a heart attack from so much caffeine, so I threw it away and went to a bar, where I had a glass of wine and wrote some more. I got another 800 words in and finished the scene, which was super awkward - awkward because I was writing the prologue (which I'd been putting off until today, when I have a flash of genius insight and realized that the prologue needed to be Lucy's grandfather's death, not Lucy in London or any other time), and to conjure the emotion needed for the scene I was channeling my own grandfather's death, which I have mostly ignored/not processed/refused to acknowledge for the past fourteen years. So as I was writing, I would occasionally write a line that made tears streak down my face, which looked SUPER DRAMATIC since I was sitting in an airport bar (pre-security, where not a lot of people hang out), drinking wine and looking at my laptop and silently crying. Oops.

But the scene is great, so #noregrets. Then I took a cab (after an uber fiasco) to Ritu's, where we proceeded with our glorious reunion. She's great, as always, and we're great together, and everything is great. We started with dinner at La Voile, where we split a bottle of wine (I chose it poorly, or else it was bad, but we drank it all) and had foie gras with duck and lardons (super super rich, obvi), and then I had a ribeye with french fries. I only ate eight of the ten ounces, which was probably for the best...because as soon as we were done there, we went to Eastern Standard (where we've been together before) and had second dinner.

Second dinner has become a tradition of ours, but usually second dinner happens when first dinner is ~5pm and second dinner is at midnight. Tonight, first dinner was at 8:30 and second dinner was at 11, which was waaaaaay too close together - especially since, for second dinner, we split another steak. Lolololol. But I had a cocktail named Inca Tea (or something similar), with pisco and tea and all sorts of other goodness, which was delightful. Then, I switched to the Dutch Courage, which was mostly like an old fashioned, and I loved that as well.

At some point, Ritu's friend Steph (yet another Steph from the other two friends of Ritu's whose names are Steph) joined us, so Ritu and I had to stop congratulating each other on how great we are and incorporate her into the fold. Luckily, she was wearing a great shirt covered in elephants, so she fit right in. We finished off the steak (rather abruptly), and had dessert, and I declared that we weren't ordering a third drink because otherwise we would have had ten more. But our waiter, who adored us (okay, maybe he didn't adore us, but he humored Ritu for several minutes while she tried to convince him that 'Bread and Leather' would be a great title for a romance novel - and it's such a bad title that the single guy sitting next to me interjected himself into the conversation to say it was awful), took my joke about a shot-like cocktail to heart and ran with it, so we ended up with shots for the road (so welcome, so not necessary). Steph had had a drink called 'The Long Goodbye', and I had said that it would be great if they had shots called 'The Short Goodbye' - and he came back with our bill and three shotglasses of something that they chose to call 'The Final Word'. Apparently my ability to charm waitstaff into drinks spans timezones....

Then Ritu and I came home (with a truly weird lyft driver, but c'est la vie), and I am desperate for sleep. And I'm not as drunk as I thought I was, since typing wasn't much of a challenge tonight...but I'm sure I'll rectify that on Sunday (Ritu is working tomorrow night, so the liver gets a reprieve). Goodnight!

today i regret the night i put that ring on

Getting ready for my trip took waaaay longer than I intended, and so I got basically no writing done today, which is frustrating - especially since I think I might have figured out what was blocking me (note to self: when you wax philosophical about how you're so self-sabotaging, remember that within a day or two, you'll probably realize that something was wrong with the story and not your ability to focus) (note to readers: you are probably becoming just as familiar with my writing patterns as I am at this point).

However, I'm all packed up, and my kitchen is cleaned out (I feel like I do this every week...oh, wait, I do do it every week), and I did my civic duty and took my library books back and also voted. Voting took forever, thanks to California's rather idiotic ballot initiatives - there were 40+ between state and city initiatives, some of which contradicted each other (there was one to abolish the death penalty and one to speed up the death penalty; there was one to raise the tax on cigarettes with the ostensible goal of saving lives and one to legalize marijuana without any apparent concern about smoking; there were two different ones on plastic bags; there were like a million things about housing and taxes and homelessness). So I read up on all of them and generally voted my conscience, and then I walked it over to City Hall and dropped it off in person. And now I would like to abstain from all further political discussion until 2020, tanks.

And now I really need to go to bed and try to get six hours of sleep (luxury!) before getting up and going to the airport - goodnight!

brother what a night the people saw

I didn't watch the game, but let the record state that I'm v. happy for the Cubs - they have a farm team in Des Moines, so they were probably one of the earliest teams I ever knew anything about (even though I don't think that baseball is intrinsically interesting enough to merit playing 162+ games/year). And I hope that Chicago hasn't burned down by tomorrow morning!

I had a great day right up until the end of it, but now I'm ready for bed. The great part of the day was all the part that I didn't spend writing - I did a lot of other work tasks, did laundry, answered emails, etc., etc., all quite happily. I also got my hair cut and tried to convince my stylist to hire an escort for her birthday, which seems like a great idea, right? She was laughing hard enough that I was a little worried that she might just cut everything off by accident, but it turned out really well.

Then I came home, did some more work, and made zucchini lasagna for dinner - rather than following the recipe I have, I used the bolognese sauce that I made the other night in place of the more standard meat mix. That made making the lasagna really fast/easy - I just had to parboil the zucchini slices and mix up the egg/cottage cheese/mozzarella stuff. And the lasagna turned out sooooo well - it was perfect, and exactly what I wanted. Also, I made it in two 5x7" pyrex baking dishes, which meant I ate half of one tonight and have half leftover for tomorrow, and can freeze the other dish unbaked for a later date. #winning

But then I was going to write, and I fell down the black hole of World Series twitter and was really mad at myself for doing so. But I at least got thirty minutes of writing in at the end and am hoping to dream of the next scene tonight to make things easier - wish me luck with that.

Now, though, I'm going to sleep and remind myself that the story, on tonight's readthrough, is in better shape than I thought, and that this will all come together despite my endless bitching about it. Goodnight!

i ain't sorry

You know, it's really time for me to get my shit together on this writing thing. And by that I mean that, even though it's been six years since the first time I quit my day job for this (I can't believe that, but I just realized it's true), I somehow keep sabotaging myself in the same ways. The biggest form of sabotage is that I know the following to be true: I write almost exactly a thousand words an hour during my average pace (some days are less, some days are more, but that's where I usually end up). I also know that 2000-2500 words per day feel about right because that's close to a full chapter, and usually I need to take a break and think about where the next chapter's headed before I can write it, so I can't usually keep going beyond that without needing to stop.

And yet despite knowing that my ideal output of 2500 words/day can typically be accomplished in 2-3 hours, I don't happily sit down and do 2-3 hours of work and then move on to one of the literally dozens of things that I would like to do or that would make me happy or that would contribute to other areas of my business - instead, I feel guilty that it's not eight hours of writing, and so procrastinate, and thus throw away my time.

Ugh.

sssanyway. I mention this because I was worried that today was headed where yesterday went (aka nowhere), since I did some stuff from 9:30 to 1:30 but mostly procrastinated and only wrote for 20mins. However, I then went to San Bruno to meet up with Barbara, Anne, and Veronica - and in the 90 minutes I spent writing today, I wrote 2600 words. Granted, it was an easy scene (finishing something with Lucy and her butler, and starting something with Max and his more mysterious sister). So really, 9:30 to 1:30 would have been better spent reading or taking a walk or cooking or sleeping or day drinking or doing anything other than reading the internet and claiming that I'd start writing in five minutes.

I write this here only because I think it's finally time for me to own the fact that the writing part of my job can typically be done in 2-3 hours per day (at least rough draft mode; final draft mode often demands longer hours, but I can edit for a lot longer than I can pull words out of nowhere). And if I own that, then I need to figure out how to maximize the business side of my time, and also make sure I'm doing things that bring me happiness rather than reading every article ever written about the royal family (not that I do that...but I totally do that).

So. That's one part of today. The other part of today is that I had dinner with the Shedletskys - I hadn't seen them since before they went to Japan, and I wanted to hear all about their trip (which sounds like it was fantastic). They're a delightful couple, as per usual, and they're worth driving to San Mateo for (granted, I was already in San Bruno, which makes it a little more palatable). Then I came home, messed around online, hated myself for that, and then cleared my inboxes (shocker!).

And now I'm going to sleep - goodnight!

say hello, wave goodbye

I had the day I probably needed to have from a life standpoint, but not the day I needed to have from a word-production standpoint. It's been so long, it seems, since I was actually home that I wanted to take care of all the things - which mostly meant cooking, with some tidying up and a lot of crossing things off lists. I slept later than planned, and then I made a frittata so that I have breakfast for the next few days (until I leave again, actually) - this frittata was chopped onion, spinach, diced ham, and cheddar, and it was quite possibly the best of all the ones I've made so far. I chopped the other half of the ham and threw it in the freezer so I can make this again when I get back, and I should do the same with the spinach (and some of the other veggies in my fridge, since I'll be gone again before I can eat everything).

Then I showered and did some work until it was time to meet up with Adit for a late lunch - I hadn't seen him since before I went to Iowa back in September, and I'm unlikely to see him again for awhile, and he's on paternity leave, so it made sense to get together. We met up at Morning Due for old times' sake, which was as delightful as always (and their greek salad with chicken is incredibly yummy). His back was hurting and I was still a little surly from hitting my introvert wall, so we were rather lowkey, but it was still great to hang out.

Then I came home (with a stop at Philz) and spent way more time than I should have making an extravagant bolognese sauce (which I made three weeks ago - it's only extravagant in the sense that it takes a lot of time, not because the ingredients are particularly crazy). I'm cutting all grains again at the moment because my hands have started hurting again, which leads me to believe that I am having some sort of inflammation issue that was temporarily helped by my whole-30-ish diet last month - so when the sauce was done, I ate a bowl of it with some cheese and nothing else, and it was incredible. However, I have grand plans to make a mini zucchini lasagna with it for Wednesday/Thursday - I think it would kick the usual lasagna up a notch, and I'm eager to test it out.

And then I mostly procrastinated the evening away, since I was luxuriating in the feel of being alone - but I finally opened the manuscript and thought about it for a little bit and made some edits, so hopefully it won't be as hard to get back into it tomorrow. But tomorrow will come all too soon, so it's time for bed - goodnight!

we are explorers

As you may have guessed from the brevity and content of last night's post, today was all about paying the wages of my sins. Yesterday was worth it, though. Lauren, Terry and I went up to Calistoga, and we made it to town by 11am - just in time to rendezvous with the driver we'd hired to take us around the wineries, since none of us particularly wanted to stay sober. We stopped at a grocery store to buy sandwiches first (I had a v. yummy gluten free one that made me long for the days when I could have sandwiches anywhere and anytime I wanted), and then we went to Duckhorn for our first tasting.

Duckhorn has a variety of wines, and they make the Decoy line that is my go-to for home drinking. However, the tasting room primarily serves from the actual Duckhorn line - and that, as it turns out, was delicious. Our server perhaps recognized an easy mark when he saw one, because he poured almost twice as many wines as were technically included in the tasting - including a pinot noir that I really liked, and a fantastic red blend called 'The Discussion' (the only discussion was how much I wanted to drink more of it). He also slipped an extra bottle of that one into Terry's box when she bought some of the wines, so that was pretty delightful. But even if the wines had sucked (which they didn't), the setting was perfect - it was very autumnal in Calistoga, and I was in love with the rain and mist and falling leaves.

After Duckhorn, we went to Grgich Hills, where their lack of vowels in no way indicates their ability to make a tasty wine. Because of the rain there weren't any tasting on the patio, which meant the tasting room was crowded - but when we finally got a space, the heavens opened and all the wine appeared, and it was glorious. Not only did all the wine appear, but the original Mr. Grgich himself made an appearance - he sat in a chair and signed bottles of wine for people, including one woman who was rather shockingly amorous (and it was unclear whether Mr. Grgich liked it or if he just didn't have the mobility necessary to get away - he needs a panic button or something, since it took a few minutes for the staff to discreetly peel her off of him).

sssanyway. We tasted many wines there, and we purchased a whole bunch of them - between the three of us, I think we walked away with two cases. Then we went to Lava Vine, which was decidedly not as great as Grgich or Duckhorn from a wine standpoint - but they're newer, and the vibe was cool and we were able to sit outside on a picnic table and talk, so it was a great way to wind down.

Then our driver dropped us off, we checked into our hotel (we got a cute cottage that was perfect for the three of us), and we walked to Solage, which is way way fancier than our hotel. We were able to sit at the bar and have dinner there, and the food was as incredible as I'd heard it was - my steak was totally perfect, and the fries and oysters we had to start may have saved my life. What didn't save my life was the cocktail (delicious, totally not a good idea) and the glass of wine (and also Terry's wine, which she barely started before giving to me), and the Irish coffee....but c'est la vie.

So when we got back to the hotel sometime after ten p.m., we sat around and watched SNL just because we couldn't quite go to bed yet, and I think we all were subconsciously dreading how we would feel this morning and so weren't ready for the night to end....

...and that was the right call, because I felt like death this morning. It wasn't the worst ever and I feel okay now, but I only got four good hours of sleep (the other four were in a half-awake fugue state), and I didn't have enough water or caffeine yesterday to combat the overwhelming wine experience (you would think I'm an amateur at this). Lauren, of course, made it clear that she is a far superior human being, because she got up at 7:30 and took my car to her favorite trail in Calistoga and ran for 6-7 miles in the middle of a rainstorm (it started raining five minutes after she left - I'm not sure she would have done it if it had been raining when she woke up, but she might have because she's amazing). Then we had breakfast at the hotel, drove back to SF (with a stop at McDonald's for hash browns, which is a clear sign of how hungover we all were), and parted ways. Terry's on her way back to NYC, but hopefully the three of us will all see each other again around Thanksgiving.

When I got home, I was totally wiped out, so I slept for two hours, which was v. restorative. Then I messed around, ordered some groceries, unpacked, and called my parents. I spent the evening taking care of business stuff, none of which is interesting to you...and now I need to sleep so I can write a million words tomorrow, since this weekend was not good for the wordcount. Goodnight!

me and my whoadies 'bout to stroll up

I've had way too much fun and way too much wine, but I think I'll make it through the night. I'm in Calistoga, where I spent the day with Lauren (you may know her as Subz) and Terry, and we went to many wineries and had a fabulous over the top dinner.

But that's all you're getting because typing is hard and wine is great and my head hurts and my heart is full of happiness - goodnight!

and it starts sometime around midnight

I'm so tired - considering that I got enough sleep last night, I think it's because of my introvert wall. Or it's because I spent 4+ hours driving home in rather treacherous conditions - it rained most of the way through the mountains and in the most traffic-y areas of the flatlands, which took more focus than your run-of-the-mill roadtrip. Or it's because I'm an octogenarian at heart, but I'm choosing not to believe that.

However, despite my incredible exhaustion, the trip was a success. I woke up this morning and showered and packed and helped clean out the house, and it all went quite smoothly. Grace and I were going to leave by ten, but we ended up hanging out with Anne and Barbara F until their ride showed up at 10:45, so we were later getting on the road than intended. But we had our usual highly entertaining car ride together - we talked about the unique vagaries of the historical romance publishing world, and we overanalyzed my relationships (all of my romance writer friends are married, and I think they find the modern dating world fascinating - or, as Grace called it, 'a special kind of hell' - and she's a trained psychologist, so I trust her judgment on this one). We also stopped at Starbucks for lunch and still made it to her place before three, so that was great.

I dropped her off and drove over the Golden Gate Bridge, which was as gorgeous as it ever is - unusually, it was raining in Marin and relatively clear in SF, so it felt like the skies opened up and welcomed me home on my way into the city (unlike my drive to Grace's last week, when the bridge was completely fogged over and everything else was clear). Then I came home and promptly lost all motivation and ability to function - as soon as I had the car in the garage, I was ready to pass out. However, I forced myself to stay up (although I ordered thai food instead of going to the grocery store and making an elaborate dinner like I'd fantasized about on the drive over the Golden Gate). And I watched two episodes of "Project Runway", which is about as much as I was capable of accomplishing. But now, even though it's not even ten, I'm going to go to bed - I have to get up early and pack some stuff and go off on another adventure, so sleep is more important than anything else. Goodnight!

endless island

There is finally internet, but it's my last night in Tahoe and so I'm too tired to do this blog justice anyway. All in all, it was a very productive week - I wrote almost forty pages, and I spent a lot of glorious time talking about writing and business and life with some of my favorite writer friends. It still fascinates me that this group can come together in virtually any permutation (duos, triads, quads, whole group, whatever) and have a great conversation in which everyone is engaged and no one hates each other. It's hard to find that kind of cohesion in a group of eight (although we were only seven this time), and since we've now had several successful weeks together, I'm hopeful that this will continue for a long time to come.

Still, despite the cohesion and general feel-good vibes, my introvert soul is close to being ready to get the fuck out. I'll miss it once I'm gone, and I actually could stay here quite happily for another few days - but I need to get some writing done and recharge my introvert batteries for the much harder task of going to a writing conference where I know almost no one (and am sharing a room with Barbara S, which will be delightful because I love her, but also exhausting because room-sharing means less downtime).

So, today was all about trying to get stuff done - unfortunately, the internet was down most of the morning, and I squandered that quiet time by freaking out over the fact that the internet was down. But I did what I could do, and I ate lunch, and then I dragged Anne and Bella to Nevada, where we had a v. productive writing session in the Starbucks in Harrah's. Then we came home, had a bit of downtime, and then went out for dinner - we sacrificed our usual Riva Grill for a new spot (Azul, which was Mexican fusion), which was really delicious and encouraged me to eat way too much.

Then we came home again, and I sat around in the other house, but the introvert wall hit hard and I realized it was time to come back to my room. And now I need to sleep rather desperately - I need to get up and pack and clean out the house so we can leave by ten, which means sleep now is imperative. Goodnight!

cold tenderness

Again, the Internet has conspired to keep me from writing a real blog post. Today was one of those days where nothing with the story felt quite right - I got four pages, but it was all boring. But I spent some quality time with the group, drinking wine and eating Christie's delicious fettuccine alfredo (with gluten free pasta for my share) and getting them to help me brainstorm a possible lifestyle blog (because I need another blog). And Anne and I took a late night walk in the cold to catch Pokémon, which was as ridiculous as it sounds.

And now I need to sleep so I can do great things with my last day here - goodnight!

she left a little letter said she's gonna make a stop in nevada

The internet is once again not working, and I'm once again going to bed late, so I'm going to make a brief post from my phone and go to bed. But today was more of the glorious same...I did business stuff in the morning, ate some leftover soup, and then absconded with Anne and Bella to Starbucks for a writing-date-within-a-writing-retreat. The first Starbucks wasn't conducive to writing, so we drove to Nevada (0.4mi away) and went to the Starbucks in Harrahs casino, which was surprisingly productive.

Then we came home, Grace made dinner, and we sat around the table (in me and Grace and Bella's house rather than the other house - it's identical, but we always hang out in the other one, and so this felt like weird bizarre world because they're mirror images of each other), and we somehow had an amazing conversation even though this was our fifth night together. Anne, Bella and I closed it down, and I accidentally scared the crap out of Bella and Grace by claiming Grace was a clown (you had to be there, obvi).

And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

rattling cages

Well, today was something. Luckily, that something was highly enjoyable - but it's almost 12:30am and I had intended to have a quiet night, and instead I drank my share of most of two bottles (it only wasn't two bottles because I refrained from the last glass I wanted to have and Barbara S switched to beer).

But, y'know, c'est la vie. I spent the morning getting some work done (quite decently), and then I took a break for lunch. I didn't let myself break for long, but then Grace and I escaped our compound and ran a quick errand - I wanted a long-sleeved shirt because I packed super badly (and by that I mean I packed almost perfectly but forgot to bring a hoodie), and so I bought a cheap Tahoe souvenir shirt, and then we grabbed coffee at Starbucks before heading home. And then I worked for another solid two hours, which was v. necessary.

But I had to break earlier than I wanted because it was my turn to make supper, so I ran across the street for some groceries, and then went to the other house and cooked. I made my now-famous chicken tortilla soup, which is a group favorite, and it turned out v. v. well, if I do say so myself. But it always takes awhile to cook, so I had a glass of wine with Barbara S. (and Christie, who drinks white, and Anne, who drinks beer) while it cooked, and then we all sat around the table and talked and laughed for far too long. Bella came up tonight since she wasn't able to make it up over the weekend, so that was a fun addition to the group; unfortunately, Tina was supposed to come up with her as well and wasn't able to because she's sick, so we're capped out at seven instead of eight. But it was all v. delightful, and as usual I enjoyed myself immensely (especially when I started joking about becoming Christie's stepmother, which was awesome, although you would have to be there).

Eventually, most people went to bed, and I had a highly enjoyable (in a very different way) convo about writing with Barbara S and Anne. Then, Barbara went to bed and Anne and I talked about life and travel, but we were interrupted by Grace, who needed to run to Safeway for something, and we convinced her to drive my car and take us with her so that she wasn't walking to Safeway in the rain at midnight. And then we came home, and now I believe I should sleep - the wine won't help with that, but I'm going to have to persevere anyway. Yes, life is hard. Goodnight!

i wanna breathe that fire again

blogging is difficult again tonight - this time it's not because I'm drunk or exhausted, but because the Internet is down again and I don't feel like writing a lot on my phone. Also, today felt kind of wasted - thanks to last night's politics + my share of two bottles of wine, I was not in it to win it this morning. And I think I was stuck in this scene because I didn't really have the right idea of what I was trying to accomplish, so the words felt like a meandering mess all day.

But I got some writing done, and I called my parents, and I went to dinner with the group at MacDuff's Pub, which is home to some totally delish cottage pie. And I limited myself to one glass of wine, so even though I spent the time after dinner sitting in the main house and having an increasingly ridiculous conversation with everyone, I was at least able to pry myself away at ten and start winding down.

So tomorrow is another day and I'm going to seize it. Also, today wasn't actually bad - my writer friends are delightful, and now I'm daydreaming of walking across England on the coast to coast trail with Barbara S. Or, I'm just daydreaming of conning Anne into making me some more gluten free cookies...either way sounds good to me. Goodnight!

internet friends

no blog tonight - I'm typing from my phone because the internet is down, and I need to sleep immediately. But I got some great words in today, and I ate some delicious fajitas made my Barbara S, and Barbara S and I split two bottles of wine (I was only going to have a glass, but we went deep into politics and I should've had someone hold my earrings while I went hardcore on the plight of middle America...), and I stayed up late with Anne and Christie, and it was all delightful.

But now I need to sleep - I want to write more words tomorrow, and I also committed to making dinner, so I should try to recover from the wine so I can be productive in the morning. Goodnight!

can you read my mind

I'm thoroughly exhausted after getting approximately five hours of sleep last night and driving to Tahoe today - but despite my exhaustion levels (and the fact that I'm trying to go to bed by ten p.m., which is unheard of), today was still lovely. I woke up and scurried around like a madwoman trying to get my apartment in order and get myself packed up to go to Tahoe, which resulted in me leaving 45mins later than planned - but as there was no real set schedule for the day, that was fine, I guess. Also, I ate chicken and sweet potatoes for breakfast because I didn't want to cook anything and still had some left over - you do not care about this, but I'm writing it as a note to myself that chicken and sweet potatoes for breakfast are actually really good.

Then, I drove to Mill Valley and picked up Grace - we rode up to Tahoe together, and I was thrilled to have her to myself for a few hours. Somehow, the trips always work out so that we have at least one long drive together, and this one was perfect. We had tons to catch up on and we talked all the way to Tahoe, with a stop in Placerville to enjoy our traditional In-n-Out lunch. We got up here around 2:45; Anne and Barbara were already here, so we hung out with them and waited for the other Barbara and Christie to show up (in an uber from the Reno airport, since they had to fly in). Then we settled our room assignments (I'm in the second house, but I have the master bedroom, which is possibly bigger than my apartment...and now that I've said that, I'm actually super depressed), and we went to the grocery store and stocked up on some stuff.

We then spent the evening talking goals and publishing and life, and eating takeout pizza, and it was all as wonderful as it always is. But now I'm so tired that I'm taking the extremely unusual step of going to bed early - I'm determined to write tons on this trip, and that means resting now so I can hit the grind hard tomorrow. Goodnight!

you're gonna wish you could go back and fold

I need to go to bed RIGHT NOW. Actually, I needed to go to bed two hours ago. But today was a long slog involving writing and tons of research black holes, along with some laundry and packing...and then I had a v. long, v. sparsely attended Loro mini-reunion. That involved dinner with Walter and Tommy, and then Walter and I had a drink for an hour before hanging out with Tom, Greg, Julie, and Rat. Of the six people who showed up (other than me), I saw three of them in the last week, so not all of it was a blast from the past. However, I was really happy to see the people who were able to make it, so #noregrets.

But I have to get up in six hours to finish packing and drive to Tahoe, so no more blogging - goodnight!

arrival to an empty room

Today was full of writing and errands and despairing about the writing, and now I'm longing for my bed. I got up later than I wanted (but also earlier than I wanted, since I didn't go to bed until 1am last night), and had to scurry quickly so that I could walk down to Union Street to see my aesthetician. After that, I went to Caffe Union, where I had the bar to myself, so I was able to enjoy my poached eggs and salmon and hollandaise while talking to Tony -- apparently he had begun to wonder where I was, so it's good that I went in while I had the chance.

After that, I stayed on Union Street - I went to the Illy coffee place and spent too much time on twitter, but then I managed to get some decent writing done. Then I walked home (with a stop at Lululemon to buy a sports bra, and a stop at Blick to buy more colored pencils than are strictly necessary, but I'm saying it's vital to my process).

When I got home, I was really not in it to win it, so I messed around online and took a nap. But then I rallied and put some chicken and sweet potatoes in the oven; while that was cooking, I cleaned up the kitchen and also packaged some stuff to take to Tahoe on Friday (we all travel with our own idiosyncratic needs, since each writer has those things that she thinks are vital to getting work done - in my case, it's an oversized mug, a couple of flavors of tea bags, coffee so I can make cold brew, and some pre-measured spices so I can make chicken tortilla soup for the group without having to buy jars of spices in Tahoe).

In case you couldn't tell from that timeline, I didn't watch the debate; I wasn't in the mood to have my mood further ruined, and I wanted to get some more work done tonight. Happily, I did manage to write another few pages after I ate, so that's good.

And now, I'm desperate for sleep and eager to get stuff done tomorrow - goodnight!

gotta gotta be down because i want it all

I feel pretty good about today, despite not throwing enough words into the trenches - I keep trying to remind myself that this stage of the draft is like shoveling sand into a sandbox so that I can later make a sandcastle, and that the sand-shoveling process ain't pretty. But I wrote, and that's something. I also spent the morning taking care of some tasks, going to the grocery store, and feeding myself, all of which were worthy endeavors.

Then I sped to the south bay and had a writing date with Anne and Barbara in San Mateo. The downside of these dates is that I don't usually get enough words to justify the time investment, but the upside is that they keep me sane, so.....I guess I'll keep doing them. But not tomorrow or Thursday - I need to be wildly productive at home, and also prepare to leave for Tahoe (with Anne and Barbara, among other people) on Friday.

However, despite the fact that I wrote for a grand total of 50mins in the three hours I was with them, it was still a delightful afternoon. Then I drove even deeper into the bowels of the south bay to have a friendship renewal dinner at Shana Thai in Mountain View. I hadn't been to Shana Thai in months (I think the last time was with Heather), and I hadn't had a friendship renewal dinner in even longer - while Jen Lui was working in SF, we kind of splintered off and did our own fancy ladies' dinners rather than schlepping ourselves south. And I've seen Joann a few times in the last few months as well. But tonight was the full complement - Tolu, Jane, and Lizzie were there as well as Joann and Jen, so we had a lot to catch up on.

Thanks to the ever-shifting employment dynamics, all five of them are now working for my former employer; we all started together in 2003, and then four of the six of us left, and then the people who left went back (and in my case left again). Jen was the last holdout on returning, but she went through new hire orientation this week, so it looks like she's been recaptured. I was the only one who isn't currently employed there, but they still seem to enjoy my company, so I'm going to enjoy the friend ride while it lasts.

When we were done, I drove home and watched an episode of Project Runway before doing a bit more work. And now I need to sleep - goodnight!