and the walls came tumbling down in the city that we loved

I worked from home today, which made for a v. solitary experience - but I broke the solitude to have breakfast at Caffe Union, which was v. restorative. Also, sleeping for nine hours last night was amazing. I'm still tired, and I should have gone to bed an hour ago, but at least I'm not quite as dead as I was yesterday. But I'm going to make this the shortest post of the last couple of weeks so that I can go to bed as soon as possible - goodnight!

the most amazing things, they can come from some terrible lies

Another day, another exhausted collapse into my bed at the end of it. I didn't sleep well last night, and so I was kind of lazy this morning. But I managed to drag myself to the south bay and train with Alyssa, which was more painful than usual because I was so not recovered from my trip. Then I went to the office, discovered I'd left my shampoo and conditioner in my suitcase and so had to wash my hair with hand soap (good thing my hair is so shiny that one day of hand soap is survivable), got dressed, slathered on some makeup to make myself look human, and grabbed a quick lunch.

Then I spent the afternoon in a training with the other people who report to my manager. It was one of those personality test things, and my personality type continues to be 'power-hungry dictator' or some variant of that. I prefer to call it 'winner'. And hey, at least I have a sense of humor, right? But the exercise was interesting, I liked the profile writeup, and we all had a nice (and free) dinner at Cascal after, so that was v. much appreciated.

But now I must sleep if I have any hope of making it through the week - goodnight!

many are strong at the broken places

I'm horridly, brutally exhausted, and my heart is eating itself. I tried to keep myself going by going to Des Amis (rocking my librarian-like glasses and a pair of leggings as pants, which is a sure sign I've reached the end of my days), where I had chicken and two glasses of wine and some quality time with my journal. And it definitely helped to center me, even if it didn't make me less tired. They take care of me in a v. home-like way, and I feel safe and warm there even if it's weird that I'm sitting alone in the lounge with my laptop like a crazy person while other fancy people make out and enjoy each other's company.

But their caretaking means that I can get work done even when I'm too tired to contemplate the idea of continuing. I didn't write tonight, but I wrote down all the thoughts my conference experience spurred about what I need to do for my writing career in the next few months. And I followed up with some people post-conference - not everyone I want to follow up with, but a more admirable effort than what I usually make twenty-four hours after getting home.

However, I think it's time for me to take a break from screens and try to sleep nine or so hours so that tomorrow isn't quite so brutal - goodnight!

let's get drunk off the minibar

As you could probably guess if you read yesterday's post, today was completely brutal. I was out of energy, out of words, out of alcohol processing power in my liver, and mostly out of sorts. I managed to drag myself out of bed around 9:15 so that I could shower, put on some clothes, stare dumbly at my room, and pack two suitcases full of stuff. But I made it down to the lobby just in time for Laura and Dave to pick up me, Kathia, and Katie (Kathia's assistant) for brunch and fun times. Kathia and Katie were in about as bad a shape as I was, but we rallied for brunch...and I'm so glad we did.

Laura had made reservations at a place called Arcade, which was super yummy. I had a lobster taco, which was really lobster wrapped in a corn crepe with some delish green salsa and crema on top, and a side of v. basic scrambled eggs to up the protein quota so that I might begin the process of surviving the day. I also had three cups of coffee, and Laura forced me to order a cocktail since the bartender is apparently famous or something. Having tequila at eleven in the morning was either a great idea or a terrible idea; as I guessed would happen, since I know the biochemical processes that go into processing alcohol, it made me feel better briefly, and then I was sad. But she was right (even though she doesn't drink), and the cocktail was great, so I guess c'est la vie.

After we'd hung out there, we took a brief walk around the Pearl Brewery area to see some of the other restaurants/sights before the heat became too much for us. Then we stopped at a coffeeshop, where I had water to continue my survival process while everyone else had coffee. And then they took us to the airport. I was sad to say goodbye to Laura - it was really great to spend some quality time with her and her husband, and I'll have to go back to San Antonio again someday and spend some more time exploring the non-touristy parts.

But we got to the airport just in time, since I was about to totally hit the wall. After security, I parted ways from Kathia and Katie so that I could buy some water and call my parents for our usual (albeit abbreviated) Sunday call. Then I got on the plane; Kathia and I sat together, and while we both tried to be chipper, clearly neither of us were having it. But I made it home in one piece, dragged my suitcases upstairs, threw a load of clothes in the wash, and had dinner down the street with Terry since I needed food immediately and had neither the energy nor the ingredients to cook anything.

But now I desperately need to sleep since I have to go to work early tomorrow (booooooooooooooo)...goodnight!

she was built with a brain and some swagger

The last half of today was fucking awesome, if I'm allowed to use such vulgarity on this blog. The first half was less awesome, mostly because I was hungover and v. tired (see: five cocktails last night) and had hit a wall with socializing. So I laid around in bed far later than I should have, showered, just barely made it to the restaurant in time for breakfast, and hid in a booth and made some notes to myself while trying to get enough eggs and coffee into my belly to being my recovery.

But then I had to leave breakfast to go immediately to lunch - the now-traditional dim sum with Courtney and Jenn (Courtney is a historical author; Jenn is the photographer who shoots my covers). A couple of other people came too, although Sherry (another historical author) was unfortunately not able to make it, which is sad because she's hilarious. Luckily, I was already mostly full when I got there, so I was able to avoid all the most gluten-y things (although I did eat soy sauce, but not eating pork buns or egg custard tarts or other gluten things was a big win). But I think we had all hit our social wall at that point, and so while it was fun, it was also a rather muted affair.

Then I came back to the hotel, spent an hour and a half at the rehearsal for the awards ceremony, which I got roped into helping with, and then came to my room and took a twelve-minute nap before venturing forth again. That twelve-minute nap was critical, though - it enabled me to have a fantastic coffee meeting with my friend Steph (who used to have my agent), and Kathia joined us for the second half so that we could discuss a top-secret idea. Then I went straight to dinner with the people from the Montauk writing retreat who were at the conference, which was lovely.

But I had to speed out of dinner, and I managed to change, put on lipstick, and get to the ceremony within fifteen minutes, which is a new record. I had to help with the ceremony (it went well, thanks for asking), so I was busy, and then I spent two hours after the ceremony hanging out and then having a drink and some guacamole with Vivi. At midnight we parted ways, and I walked through the lobby with the competing desires to rendezvous with the people I was supposed to rendezvous with or go to bed instead - and when I ran into the person I was supposed to rendezvous with, that decision was made for me.

And I'm v. glad it was - I stayed up for another two hours and had some of the most hilarious conversations that I had the entire week. My new bestie Katharine had been up for an award and didn't get it, and so she was drinking wine straight from the bottle, which obviously made me love her. And the whole group in that area of the bar was v. fun and v. clever, so I v. much enjoyed myself.

But now it's almost 2:30 and I have to get up in time to shower, pack, and have brunch with Laura and Dave before going to the airport - so sleep is crucial. Goodnight!

johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine

Today was a success wrapped in a mistake and topped with gin.

I should really leave it at that and let you guess what happened, but I shall recount the tale for my own benefit later when I inevitably come back to remember what I got up to. I woke up relatively early and met my friend Barbara for breakfast - she's my new friend Barbara, one of the two Barbaras who was on the Montauk retreat, and I'm v. happy and honored that she was able to make time to have breakfast since a) I really like her and feel a strong connection to her, and b) she's actually kind of a big deal and was the keynote speaker at one of the luncheons, so she has better things to do than have breakfast with me. Although not really, because I can be charming when I put my mind to it (I know, none of you have ever seen it).

So we had a great time catching up. Then I went to a workshop with Maya, and we skipped out a bit early so we could beat the rush and grab lunch at the Mexican restaurant downstairs with her other friend, who is also conveniently named Sara. Then I wandered around, did a bit of work, went to a workshop on intermediate-to-advanced self publishing given by Bella and my other friend named Barbara, and made a gigantic list of stuff that I need to do as soon as I get home. I was then able to spend a quiet hour recuperating in my room with my laptop, which may have been the only thing that prepared me for...

...dinner and (many) drinks with Laura and Dave. Laura is my former coworker from way back in 2007-2008, and she and her husband moved to San Antonio a year or so ago, so I got in touch with her to see if we could get together. It turns out that they're far more equipped to go out late than I am; for one, they're 'broken hipsters' (apparently this is a new phrase for people in their 50s/60s who have moved into posh urban areas and are driving up real estate prices/drinking fancy cocktails), and for another, I can't handle the heat of San Antonio like they can.

But I think I held my own for at least awhile. We started at Cured, which is a restaurant/bar, where we had some oysters, some steak tartare, and some poutine (fries with pulled pork and cheese), and I had the Cured cocktail, which was some amalgamation of moonshine and cava that attempted to ensure that I would never see the light of day. Then they showed me their temporary rental and the floorplans for their gorgeous permanent townhouse down the street, and then we went to Nao, where we split three desserts and I had two more drinks (the 'To Have and Have Not', which was rum, egg white, allspice, etc., and tasted like cold eggnog).

After that, we came back toward the area where my hotel is and met up with Kathia (who is currently Kate) at Esquire. This was a quiet gathering for approximately ninety seconds, until a bunch of people from a certain book retailer showed up, as well as a couple of other authors. So Laura, Dave and I alternated between talking to each other and talking to the other people, while I had two more cocktails (a shrub collins with gin) and eventually split a cheeseburger with Laura to soak up some of the disaster looming in my stomach.

But now, I'm desperate for sleep, and I predict the morning will not be pretty. I shall persevere, however, as I always do, and hopefully I'll wake up in time to have some v. restorative breakfast before my last full day of events. Goodnight!

these spies, these slow hands

I had a superb day. I tried to get up early, but failed, and so I skipped an 8:30am workshop in favor of sleeping, showering, and blowdrying my hair. Then I had breakfast (and worked over breakfast) before schmoozing in the coffee/bar area for a bit. Then I almost immediately had lunch with my old freelance editor, Krista, whom I absolutely adore; we have really good chemistry, and so lunch was super fun (probably helped along by a glass of wine).

Properly energized by our meeting, I then did a little more work before getting roped into some volunteer stuff (long story). Then I took a v. brief (twelve minute) nap, tried to meet with someone for the day job but ended up having to reschedule, and went to a 'rakes and cupcakes' party. Since my friend Maya is also gluten-free and was one of the hostesses, there were gluten-free cupcakes, and they were totally delish. But I was feeling a little overwhelmed by the number of people, and v. overwhelmed by the overheated suite, and so I went down to the lobby and worked on Thorington for half an hour.

Eventually, though, it was time to be social again, so I went back up to the suite, closed down the party (and met a reader who loved my stuff and gave me her info so I could send her a review copy of the next book - I'm trying to be better about asking for things), and then dragged Maya to a bistro/wine bar, where we had truffle fries, escargot, and an entire bottle of champagne. This was more necessary than it sounds, and we plotted world domination (mostly in the form of plans for drunken videos, which we will probably revisit/reconsider on the morrow) - we have releases coming out within a day of each other at the end of September, so any cross-promo we can do is v. much appreciated.

Unfortunately, we had to part ways at eight, but fortunately I had dinner plans with Kathia, Kristin, and Susan (the people I went on a writing retreat with last June). We ate at some fabulous Southern-type place on the Riverwalk, where I had more wine and tried to soak it all up with shrimp and grits (mostly successfully). Then we walked back, Kathia and I sat in the lobby and gossiped for a bit, and then I peremptorily decided that I needed to go to bed before I died. And now I shall sleep, since I have a full dance card tomorrow as well - goodnight!

just give me a reason

I'm exhausted, but today was a highly successful day. I actually dragged myself out of bed in time to make it to the first workshop I wanted to attend (well, I was fifteen minutes late), which was about electoral practices and politics in Regency England. Yes, I'm so normal. It was by far the best panel of the day, so I'm glad I made it, and it triggered some ideas for plot points in future books, so that was fun. Then I skipped the next panel so that I could have breakfast, and during breakfast I wrote three or four pages of Thorington's book. Yay.

Thus feeling accomplished, I went to another workshop on Regency architecture and interiors. Then I ate lunch at the mini-retreat that I was on (these panels were all part of a historical special-interest gathering), which was way better than most conference lunches (fajita stuff with decent guacamole instead of the usual weird conference chicken) while listening to the keynote speech. After that, I could have attended yet another panel, but instead I talked to some people in the bar, took care of some business stuff, took a fifteen-minute nap, changed into a dress (plus my fascinator), and got ready for the evening.

First up was drinks with some people I finaled with in the Golden Heart a few years ago; as I was looking for them, I ran into the woman who had presented my award to me the year I won, and we had an awesomely entertaining conversation. Then I had a v. oversized yet v. weak margarita with the people I was meeting before going to the book signing. It was a decent event; I sold a few books and had several more people stop by to tell me that they love my stuff, which is still amazing and surreal.

After, I dropped my stuff off in my room, met up with some other historical writers (including Maya, who I would feel bad about stalking if she wasn't stalking me just as aggressively), and went for dinner. We tried walking down the Riverwalk, but the first place we tried had a massive line, and so we ended up coming back to the Brazilian steakhouse next to the hotel and eating there instead. I wasn't hungry enough to do it justice, but the meat and the caipirinha were v. restorative.

But when I got back to my hotel around 9:30, I took one look around the lobby and promptly returned to my room to rest - my broken toe is still broken (grr - I wore the boot today and everything and it started to ache tonight anyway), and I was pretty much talked out. And tomorrow is likely to be my busiest day of the whole shebang, so I need to get back into a-game mode. That requires sleep, and I'd like to write over breakfast again tomorrow, so I think I should sign off now - goodnight!

double vision

The first day of the conference was a success, even though this isn't the first day - in fact, tomorrow isn't the official first day either, although I've got a full agenda on calendar already. But today was a great way to ease into it...I slept for ten and a half hours (so much for getting up early and writing), just barely made it to the restaurant in time to get breakfast, and then spent the afternoon alternating between some desultory writing and some hardcore work (on my own writing/business stuff, not day job stuff - I'm gloriously out of touch with them and have no idea what's happening there).

But by 5:30 or 6 I was beyond done, so I put on a dress and met up early with the people I was having dinner with (some friends from Twitter who are now becoming real friends; I had dinner with them in New Orleans, and one of them just moved to the bay area). It turns out the margaritas in the hotel bar are ridiculously large but also not that strong, which is the worst combination. But I had half of one, then left to go to dinner. It was a fifteen minute walk along the Riverwalk, which is really pretty cool (albeit too crowded/touristy for my tastes, at least in the area where we're at). We had dinner at a texmex place, which I quite enjoyed, and the margarita there was way better. Also, I will admit that I love the queso that comes with everything - queso is not a feature of California Mexican, but I'm happy to eat it here even if I miss California's emphasis on avocado, limes, etc.

After dinner, we walked back to the hotel, where I came up to my room to cool off and charge my phone for ten minutes. Then I met Vivi for a drink and some quiet catch-up - we got our drinks and promptly absconded to the empty second floor balcony, where we could talk about life in total solitude. Eventually, Kathia joined us (although I should call her Kate this week, since she's in Kate-mode), and we talked for a bit before Vivi went off to find her bed. Then Kathia lured me into another drink and some more talk, and so I got back to my room sometime well after midnight. It's probably good that I got a lot of sleep last night, since it may not happen again...

But now I really should sleep - I'm already debating whether to blow off this thing at eight a.m. tomorrow in favor of breakfast and writing (you can guess what the answer will be). Goodnight!

it's a little too late to say that you're sorry now

I'm so tired that I'm going to go to bed now even though it's only ten pm in Texas - which means it's only eight at home. But I didn't sleep well last night, and today was more stressful than I anticipated, so I think I'm in need of serious sleep if I'm to get off on the right foot.

Kathia was supposed to pick me up at 8:45 so that we would have plenty of time to eat something tasty at the airport before our 11am flight. But when I checked my phone at seven, the plane was delayed until 1:15 due to a late aircraft because of weather in SFO. So I suggested that we leave at 11 instead. We were both happy with this, and so I lazed around, took a shower, etc.,and went to Caffe Union for breakfast. But then I got a text from united preponing the flight back to 11:40. Ugh. So I didn't finish breakfast, and instead dashed home, grabbed my stuff, got an uber, picked up Kathia, and got to the airport at 10:45. As it turned out the plane didn't board until almost noon, but we made it, and we had a glass of champagne to celebrate.

The flight was uneventful, but it's a million miserable degrees in San Antonio. We got to our hotel and were both starving, so we took five minutes to dump our bags in our rooms, then went to a steak place on the Riverwalk. I had an excellent ribeye and half of a great baked potato, and was feeling much restored after. Then, we came back to the hotel and did a shot of tequila to kill off our non-writer selves and get into conference mode. Really this just made me sleepy, but hopefully tomorrow I'll be in full blown author mode. Now, though, I must sleep - goodnight!

my redneck past is nipping at my heels

I'm leaving tomorrow for San Antonio and the annual romance convention, and so I spent the day getting ready for that - mostly packing in a rather desultory way, eating huevos rancheros, and getting my nails done. The nails were a conundrum; since I can only wear flipflops still, I wanted my toenails to look nice, but since the reason for my flipflop-wearing is that my toe is still broken, a pedicure didn't seem like a great idea. But vanity won, and so I got a gel manicure (because those suckers look amazing even if they'll give me melanoma) and a pedicure (which didn't hurt at all because the salon owner put the fear of god into the nail tech about not touching my broken toe). And now I shall feel pretty and put together even though I'm going to have to wear flipflops (or, worse, the boot) to every party for the next week.

But I'm all packed up, and my flight tomorrow leaves at a v. civilized hour. Kathia and I are flying together, so I'll have a partner in crime (and one who will likely keep me writing rather than letting me stare off into space). And as I was packing tonight, I was reflecting on how much has changed since my first conference six years ago. That one was in San Francisco, just days after I moved back from my sabbatical in Iowa, and while I went to a lot of workshops and learned a lot, I didn't know a single person and was too shy (and found it to easy to go home immediately every afternoon) to meet a lot of people. But then the next year was when I won the award...and it has all moved so (relatively) fast since then.

So, needless to say, I'm really looking forward to this week. I already warned the people at work that I'm not taking my work laptop or my corp phone with me, so there is no way for me to check my work email - which is good, since I want to fully immerse myself in my writing life for a few days. That pretty much means writing, going out with a bunch of different people, attempting to attend a few workshops, and undoubtedly finding myself waylaid in the bar. I don't have any huge goals or expectations for this conference, but I do want to keep building the relationships I've already been building, and it's easier to do it in person than on Twitter (although Twitter is surprisingly good for that in the romance community, at least).

But now I should stop rambling and go to bed - goodnight!

watching the ships roll in

I decided to have a v hermity day, and that's the plan I stuck to. And I'm exceedingly glad I did; I need a couple of days of solitude to detox from all the socializing I've done over the past two weeks and prepare for the social madness that will be next week.

So I woke up, lazed about in bed, made myself eggs and coffee, did a final hour of day job stuff so I don't have to take my work laptop to San Antonio, and tried to work on writing stuff. But I had trouble getting into it at home, so I absconded with my iPad to Rapha, and then on to Des Amis. I got ten pages (yay), and utterly shocked everyone by ordering roasted chicken and white wine - at least four different waiters stopped by to see if I was okay. But the chicken was great, so I have no regrets.

Then I came home, wrote a bit more, journaled for the first time in ages, and made some lists to help me conquer the world. And now I must sleep so I can write, pack, and run a million errands tomorrow - goodnight!

trash the hotel

Today could have been worse if I were more diligent, but I was kind to myself this morning and decided to work from home. I also decided to spend two hours in bed with a heating pad on my knee (which has pretty much stopped hurting), drinking a cup of tea and thinking about writing but instead procrastinating.

However, it was eventually time to work, and I slogged v. steadily and without any real break until fourish. Then I went to get my brows waxed/tinted and my hair cut in preparation for RWA - all across America this weekend, women who spend the rest of the year in pajamas are going through arcane beauty rituals so they can fit in at the conference. Sadly, my stylist was running way late for the first time ever, which meant I was running late for dinner, and so I told her not to give me her ultra fabulous blowout and instead to just make it not wet. Sadness. Also, I very nearly chopped my hair off, but since I haven't chopped it off in anger in years, I decided not to restart that trend right now.

But eventually we were done, and I sped home, spent less than seven minutes putting on makeup and a super hot dress, and then took an overpriced Uber less than ten blocks because I was already late. I met up with my marketing person, who continues to be a genius, and Kathia joined us to tell us what she's doing with audio books. So that was all lovely and super helpful. Then Kathia and I went across the street and had prime rib for a v. belated (ten p.m.) dinner.

And now I should have gone to Adit's for a house party, but if I had eight drinks tonight I would die, and I can't trust myself around him. So I'm going to sleep the sleep of the just and hopefully wake up tomorrow with an idea that will allow me to write like five thousand words of Thorington's book. Goodnight!

the only thing that waits is overconfidence

I'm super tired; staying up with Walter last night was worth it, but this morning was brutal. But I made it down to Palo Alto in time to train with Alyssa; I may be sore tomorrow, since I set a new personal best on deadlifts (175lbs! my peasant genes are coming in handy), but that was v. satisfying. Then I went to work, showered v. quickly, had some meetings, and decompressed from my meetings by working on a puzzle over lunch. Yes, I'm still an octogenarian despite my deadlift skillz.

In the afternoon, I had more meetings; this should not surprise you. Then I met up with Heather (aka dear respected madam), and we caught up for a v. necessary three hours or so. After we had vented all that we could vent, I drove back to the evil city (through evil traffic) and had dinner with Terry at Des Amis. I didn't order wine tonight since I'm still detoxing, but the chef sent out a v. tasty little bit of salad for each of us with goat cheese and cantaloupe, so I guess I'm still in their good graces. Then I came home, messed around on the internet, and now desperately need to sleep so that I can get a lot done tomorrow - goodnight!

could not kiss, just regress

I should have been in bed an hour ago, but as I was still in my car an hour ago, that was an impossibility. Today alternated between euphoria and rage, as my days are wont to do these days; my commute was miserable, but my first few meetings were great. Then I had some general annoyances, but I destressed by working on the team puzzle (day two: we completed the border; only ~2200 more pieces to go!). And then a v. exciting thing happened: I had dinner with Walter (aka Harold, aka the Talbotross).

Walter was in town for a conference, and he stopped in Mountain View to see me on his way back to San Diego. We had a v., v. delightful time catching up, and it just made me miss him all over again. But sadly I cannot continue to reminisce about him, since I must go to bed immediately - goodnight!

the cold never bothered me anyway

I'm v. disturbed to realize that I totally forgot to blog last night. I didn't intend to skip - I don't think I've skipped a day so far this year, and yesterday wasn't the one I meant to do it on. But I've been generally exhausted and out of words, and also vaguely angry (my natural habitat), so I suppose it's natural that I would avoid blogging. Also, I don't recall doing anything of importance last night, other than eating bacon and eggs, which is always important.

But, I apologize. Today was more of the same; I worked from home in the morning, trained with Alyssa, and went to the office in the afternoon, where I spent more time than I should have working on a jigsaw puzzle like I'm turning into my grandmother. Then I had dinner with Terry in the glorious south bay, which turns more pretentious by the day. And now I must go to bed so that I can survive tomorrow - goodnight!

too close for missiles, i'm switching to guns

I'm totally exhausted, as evidenced by the fact that I couldn't remember how to spell 'missiles' just now (no joke, I had to look it up), so I'm going to go to bed and hope that my sleep is far more restorative than it has been recently. Today was brutal; I wrote, read about sperm whales, watched the World Cup (sad that Argentina lost, sad that I can no longer say 'Schweinsteiger' every three minutes), ate too much food, and generally felt exhausted and vaguely ill. So Kathia and I left Half Moon Bay around 5:15, and I spent the rest of the evening staring at screens and thinking that I probably should have just gone to bed at seven and slept for eleven hours.

But now is still a good time to go to bed, so that's what I shall do. Goodnight!

wild child

I have no words left - not that I wrote a ton of pages today, but I worked excessively all day, and I'm suddenly dead. I woke up at seven, showered, packed, grabbed breakfast down the street (which the owner comped, because I'm that charming), and then picked up Kathia. We made it to Half Moon Bay by 10:15ish, and were hard at work by 10:30. I spent the first three hours reading through the edits in my manuscript and inputting the relevant ones into my writing software before taking a break for lunch. And then I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out the remaining scenes that I need to write - I think I have a plan, and I have notes for most of them, so I plan to start cranking out words tomorrow. But now I must sleep - goodnight!

you're under the gun so you take it on the run

Hello. I'm in a v. introverted mood tonight...or, more accurately, I was completely and utterly dreading getting my editorial letter back from my editor, and so I ate my heart out and stewed about it while working, pretending to relax, taking a nap, etc., etc. I mostly put on a brave face all day - I met Kathia for a writing date at seven a.m. and started rereading Thorington's story to get back into it, and then I slogged pretty brutally from nine until four-ish. But at that point I was done, and I hadn't gotten the letter yet, and I was mildly freaking out. So I put on a dress, went for a walk (which I wasn't supposed to do since I'm trying to stay off my foot, but desperate times...), and had tacos and a margarita to try to dull the pain.

That was mostly successful - too successful, perhaps, since I came home desperate for a nap. The nap was accomplished, and I awoke to find my editorial letter. But I couldn't bring myself to read it because I'm a fragile flower. So I did laundry, painted my toenails (the big toenail is looking pretty black - I don't think my chances of keeping it are very promising), read through every Twitter and Tumblr thing I could come across, etc. Finally, though, I forced myself to read it. And, all in, it was really good. There are some things I still need to change in the segment that I sent to the editor, but overall it's in good shape. The downside is that I was correct in thinking that there's no way I can wrap this up in another fifty pages - it's more like a hundred and fifty. Damn. So much for trying to write a shorter book.

But now that I know that, I can move forward with a clear mind. And I'm happy about that, all things considered; I'm not happy that it's taking so long to finish this book (although nine or ten months is really not that long, I suppose), but I think the book will be better as a longer, more dramatic piece. So, we shall see.

To kickstart this, though, I'm running away early tomorrow morning with Kathia for a weekend writing retreat in Half Moon Bay. We're only staying there Saturday night, but we're going down early tomorrow and staying late Sunday, so hopefully I'll accomplish a lot and get some excellent writing done. Wish me luck - and now I'm off to bed. Goodnight!

we'll go dreaming

No time or words left to blog tonight - I slogged, worked out with Alyssa, had an abysmal commute, and am generally totally out of both words and patience. Not that anything bad happened to cause such a state...it's just that my introverted side hit the wall, and I need some solitude before writing all weekend. But I went to Des Amis when I finally got home, and they took care of me (favorite moment: when a waiter brought me a soup spoon and winked at me even though I hadn't ordered soup, and then a manager brought me the chilled watercress soup because he thought I should try something new). And I relaxed and also got a bit of work done, so that's good.

But now I must sleep, since I have a prework writing date - goodnight!

you need a girl with electrical hair

I'm super tired tonight...I don't think any amount of sleep is enough to catch up on the recovery my body is failing to do with my a) toe and b) last week's epic excursion with Adit, followed by the wedding and last night's wine extravaganza with Kathia. I may be getting old. But today was fine; I woke up around seven, showered, took my car to the dealer for its 90k checkup (although I'd gotten to 95k on the car before bothering) and some factory recalls, and then took the shuttle to work. Once there, I slogged all day, but I took a break to get lunch (some weird chicken salad and some even weirder soup) - of course, between walking to lunch, walking to/from the shuttle, and walking to dinner tonight, I'm perhaps overexerting the broken toe, but I'm going to pretend that it needs to be used to heal properly. Ha.

Anyway, I then slogged all afternoon, although I saw some of the v. boring Argentina/Netherlands game. I left the office around 5:30, napped on the shuttle home, had dinner with Terry (tacos, yay), and am now going to sleep so that I don't die tomorrow. I have to pick up my car from the dealership before going to the South Bay - luckily nothing was wrong with it, but the factory recall around the rear suspension arm does affect me (they found the telltale rust pattern that seems to precede death or something), so I'm going to have to take it back next week. Stupid. But at least I took care of it, I suppose. Goodnight!

danced to death in an eastside nightclub

I had such an arduous day - it's a wonder I survived it. I woke up at seven(ish), put on workout clothes, and then did work for the day job for two hours. Then I drove to the south bay and trained with Alyssa - my toe, as it turns out, is still broken and is hurting more than it did last week (thanks, no doubt, to my wedding dancing + walking around in flipflops), so I have eschewed my vanity and gone back to wearing the boot. But Alyssa helped me to work out despite my toe and the attendant problems my flipflop-wearing is causing (now my knee hurts as well, but that's all I'll say for fear of sounding like a hypochondriac octogenarian).

After training, I went to work, showered, dolled myself up, and watched the Brazil/Germany game - I think I put more effort into my makeup than Brazil did into prepping for this game (yes, that's a burn). But a coworker had made me gluten-free brownies, so that was much appreciated. And it was still vaguely fun to watch, but not really, since one of my team members is Brazilian and it was obviously rather upsetting for her. It didn't help that she has an eye infection and appeared to be crying even before Germany scored seven goals.

But the game ended, eventually, like all mercy killings do. And so I worked the rest of the afternoon, then made some coffee and survived the interminable drive home. Once here, I sat at my desk for five minutes, then went to Des Amis, where I was reunited with Kathia. I hadn't seen her in over a month, which is far too long, and so we had a ton of stuff to catch up on. And catch up we did, over a bottle of my favorite wine (it was half-off bottle Tuesday!), some steak, and the dessert and extra wine my favorite manager and waiter conspired to give us.

And now, properly stuffed and vaguely intoxicated, I should sleep and recover for tomorrow - goodnight!

take it in and don't look down

I'm falling asleep over my laptop, which is a sure sign that I need to go to bed - yes, I'm such a genius. I got up early this morning, skipped my shower, and went straight to work to a) avoid traffic and b) catch up on all the things I should have done this weekend that were conspiring to make me miserable. But I got caught up, and then went out with some coworker's to celebrate the last day of one of my direct reports. Amusingly, another go-away-to-school contingent was there, and I had managed that girl a lifetime ago, so it was great to catch up with her as well.

This blog post is even putting me to sleep - granted, I had to write it, but it should be a little more interesting than this. Dinner was fun, though; Tammy, Daniel and I went to Mission Beach Cafe and ate a lot of delicious food while drinking wine and talking about life. And I was tricked into eating beets, but I'll have to get back on that wagon later.

But now I'm desperate to sleep before I slip into complete incoherence - goodnight!

needle in the hay

First, I would like to state for the record that if you have noticed an unusual number of typos recently, it's because I have been writing my posts on my phone or ipad instead of on my laptop. I actually didn't have anything to drink on Friday and only a glass of wine on Saturday, but the autocorrect and other smartphone typing issues made me sound like I was ragingly drunk both nights. My apologies for the degraded quality of my entries - while I can't promise to do better in the future, please be assured that typos are almost certainly not an indication of the state of my blood alcohol level.

sssanyway, today was utterly lazy - I slept late, ate breakfast at my hotel, packed my stuff, and drove back to the evil city. Then I was going to write all afternoon, but instead I took a long nap, talked to my family for quite some time, and generally lazed about and indulged my headache and vague, exhausted malaise. I was supposed to have dinner with Tammy, but I bailed and rescheduled for tomorrow. Instead, I continued to laze about, although I did get my ipad set up with my new portable keyboard and a new method of syncing between Scrivener (my writing software), Dropbox, and a text app for the iPad so that I can work on Thorington all the time without having to lug around my laptop and destroy my shoulder in the process. This is, hopefully, a v. good thing, even if the keyboard (upon which I am typing now) is ridiculously small even for my ridiculously small, childlike hands. But if I have to alternate between sparing my back by carrying this around, then sparing my wrists by switching to the laptop, so be it.

But now I must sleep since I have this thing called the day job tomorrow, which requires some level of productivity and general availability. I know, life is hard. Goodnight!

hey macarena

Too tired to blog, but I will tell you that Shedletsky didn't back down, and so he's well and truly married. This is tres exciting, of course. I spent the entire day dealing with wedding stuff. - I got up earlier than I wanted to and went over to a house to pick up Tammy (which really means we watched most of the Belgium/Argentina game before going to get our hair done for the wedding. Then we ate at a grocery store deli counter across the street, and then we went to the ceremony

It was totally gorgeous and perfect for them - pretty informal, short, and arrived at on a steam locomotive, which we cool (albeit slow...but given that some of us drove to the wedding site the day before and someone we'll and truly fucked up their undercarriage, taking the train there was way better. and then we had reception and dinner, which was all fun - and I danced until my toe suddenly started really hurting and I realized I probably shouldn't have done any dancing. Oops.

But now I desperately need to sleep, so this is all you get. Goodnight

this is gonna be the best day of my life

While I regret nothing about last night, and while having eight drinks, followed by potato skins at two a.m., followed by going to bed at 3:30 a.m. was all a fantastic idea, I'll admit that this morning was a bit tight than I would have liked. I only got three solid hours of sleep, followed by 3.5 hours of dozing, so today has been kinda brutal.

But I successfully showered, packed, did some work, got some coffee, and made it to Santa Cruz in time to take a precisely twelve minute nap before putting on a dress and going to the wedding rehearsal. Then we went to the rehearsal dinner, which was so fun that it was worth the absolutely treacherous driving conditions (up a mountain on a one lane road). Tammy, Shedletsky, Doug, and I reverted to form, and Daniel fits well into that form, so we had some utterly ridiculous conversations (particularly about which historical figures we'd go back in time to sleep with).

But speaking of sleep, I must go to bed immediately so I can function tomorrow - goodnight!

i can't live with or without you

I'm pretty sure I lived two days today - the first day was sober, productive Sara, and the second day was drunk, Adit-inspired Sara. That's not fair to adit, and it also removes all of my own agency from the situation, but as shorthand for what happened, it's not so far off.

The day started quite ominously; I spent a couple of hours having nightmares about running from the Gestapo, which are never pleasant and always, if I'm being honest and vaguely weird, make me wonder about past lives and whether there's a reason why I'm rather obsessed with the European theatre of WWII even though both my grandfathers were in the Pacific and I really could care less about the Pacific front despite my close personal connection to it. The Gestapo caught me, but just as I was getting out of the nightmare, some sort of blackbird or raven or something started crowing outside my window at 5:45am and didn't fucking stop until it was time for me to get up. I seriously considered going outside and stoning it to death, but I figured my neighbors would call the cops rather than congratulate me, so I refrained.

But I got up, drove to Palo Alto, trained with Alyssa, showered, and had brunch at Joanie's - they all remembered me even though I hadn't been there in months, which was nice. Then I worked at Philz, and then I drove to San Bruno and had a v productive writing date with Barbara, Anne, and Poppy. But I left a little after four, came home, tried on dresses for my wedding event tomorrow, and the left the house to indulge my desire for tasty food and drink. I had carnitas tacos and guacamole and delicious margaritas at a place a few blocks away, and was going to come home after and relax...

And instead I went to Adit and Priyanka's, where we roasted corn in the most inefficient way possible. And, true to form, I put myself into a position where I could be led astray. I compounded my margaritas with two glasses of wine, then went to a bar with Adit and his cousin Sumir (lovely, but makes me feel old), where I had a mojito and a tequila shot. Then Adit and I went to Geary Club for old times sake...we took two of his coworkers, and one of them might have ruined it for me anyway, but the place has substantially cleaned up its game since we used to go there. This feeling rather glum, we parted ways with the others and continued to discuss the meaning of friendships and life and communication over potato skins at Grubstake.

And now I desperately need to sleep - it's three a.m., and while I must be lonely, I also mysterious ready go sleep so I can go to Sanga Cruz (and also pack for Santa Cruz) tomorrow. Goodnight!

how could you be so perfect for me

I had hoped to take today off, but instead I slogged brutally for almost all of it. I'm v. behind at work, so I spent some time catching up today - not enough to get truly caught up, but enough that my Monday won't be hideous. I also got my brows waxed (maybe not entirely necessary for the wedding I'm in this weekend, but I felt it was necessary). And I stopped working at four to meet with my marketing guru so that we could further our plans for world domination - I really love her, and I think she has some great ideas, so the trick will be implementing them while writing and doing the day job and trying to have a life.

But by six I was done with her and everything, so I sat at Nectar for a couple of hours and ate delicious food (burrata and proscuitto, followed by bacon-wrapped dates, since I hadn't consumed enough pork yet) and drank delicious wine (tempranillo, my old friend) while reading tumblr and twitter and all sorts of stuff related to social media for my writing job. Then I came home, folded laundry like a peasant, etc. And now I must sleep so that I can get up early tomorrow - I have the day off, but that really means getting up and training with Alyssa at eight as per usual, then showering and proceeding to a writing date (with a break in between, which I intend to fill with my favorite Palo Alto activities). Goodnight!

i'm gonna marry her anyway

My workaholism strikes again - but only at night, when I'm home from work. I slept relatively late this morning (7:30, so decadent), took an eight a.m. meeting from home, and worked for an hour before driving down to the south bay to pick up cupcakes and train with Alyssa. She wasn't too hard on me despite the fact that I broke every taboo and brought cupcakes into the gym, since I was more worried about them melting in my car than I was about her anti-cupcake wrath. Then I picked up some champagne, went to the office, and mostly spent the afternoon watching soccer (sadness). And I did about an hour of desultory meetings after before deciding I would maybe go home and relax...

...but traffic was awful, so I stopped for coffee and ended up working on day job stuff for an hour and a half. I'm thrilled that I got Thorington in to my editor yesterday, but I'm so behind at work that it's almost laughable. So I caught up on work stuff, drove back to the city while twitching from my caffeine overdose, ate some enchiladas (yes, I'm fancy), did some personal work while watching an episode of Craig (which I haven't watched in ages - it's probably my fault he's retiring), tried on the first of the mountain of black dresses I ordered for the wedding I'm in this weekend (I love one of them, but it's the one that's least suited for the wedding), and then worked for the last hour.

But I'm determined to relax at least a little bit this week - I had thought about taking tomorrow off, but I have to work in the morning. But I'm hoping I can wrap it up in two or three hours so that I can spend my afternoon doing my own thing. We'll see how that goes - goodnight!

there'll be peace when you are done

I just sent Thorington to my editor. This should probably call for champagne, but I'm going to sleep instead. It's not a complete draft, since what I need her help on is the structure of the last act, but it's better than nothing, and way better than it was a month ago.

Needless to say, today was a long and brutal slog. I got up early to work on my own stuff, then showered, drove down to Mountain View, and did a lot of stuff for the day job. Any day when I don't rage quit is a good day, particularly when I'm dreaming of Thorington when I should be sending work emails. But I left at five, came home, spent fifteen minutes in bed staring at the ceiling and begging myself to let me nap, and then got up and went to Des Amis, where I worked for three and a half hours over a steak and a couple of glasses of wine. I happened to be sitting next to what was possibly the douchiest first date I've ever witnessed (my own included), in which they talked about venture capital and pilot licenses and United Global Services membership and meeting Richard Branson and Christmas in the Caribbean, etc., etc. Ugh. Thorington would not approve.

But perhaps the fact that I just used a fictional character of my own making to judge them says more about me than it does about them. Oops. So I came home, took care of a couple of other things, and sent the draft over to my editor with a long email of questions. And now I must sleep so that I can get up, take some meetings, and generally slog - but I have high hopes that I can maybe take tomorrow night off, which is something I don't really even know the meaning of anymore. Goodnight!