Saturday, March 12, 2016

hypnotized by you if i should linger

Today was...not good, if I'm being honest (which I sometimes am). I need to finish my book, but I'm scared of it, and daunted by how much I have left to do, and so I sank into fear spirals this morning/early afternoon. This was disconcerting and unfortunate, since I hadn't sunk so deep into fear spirals in awhile, and I had planned to be highly productive today (but of course the pressure of being highly productive is probably what caused the fear spiral to being with).

sssanyway. It also didn't help that it's gloomy and rainy and windy, which made leaving the house unappealing. But I finally ventured over to Jane on Larkin, which is only two blocks away (a survivable distance, as long as I don't get stabbed), and I wrote for a couple of hours while drinking a latte, so that helped.

But then I came home and ordered thai food, and felt the fear start again while I waited for my delivery. After I ate, I crawled into bed with my laptop and was on the verge of starting to write again when I realized that the skylight above my bed was leaking. It's not a major leak, and it may have just been some odd condensation from all the rain we've been having. But if I had been lying down instead of sitting up, it would have fallen right on my face. Ugh.

Luckily, I was sitting up, and I was home to catch it, so it did no damage to my bed. And it seems to be v. minor - I stuffed some paper towels around it and it hasn't soaked through in the last three hours, so hopefully it's contained (and it's not supposed to rain much more tonight, so I can deal with it in the morning). Unfortunately, that means I have to sleep on the other side of the bed tonight, but I think I'll survive.

So after I dealt with that, I was not in a better mood (shocker). So I poured a glass of wine, sat on the couch, and eked out another hour of writing. Then I sent an email to Chandlord about the leak, and then I texted with her about it, and then I considered running away to wine country but decided against it.

But now I need to sleep - hopefully today's fear spirals were a minor blip caused by dehydration/odd sleep patterns (both of which I had for the past couple of days) and I can get back on track with the productivity tomorrow. Goodnight!

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