Monday, September 21, 2015

blood sticks, sweat drips, break the lock if it don't fit

My morning went almost exactly as intended...I woke up pretty early, made tea, and worked for a solid 2-2.5 hours before going down to the south bay to see Alyssa. The sun was coming up as I dove into the story, and I finally have my workspace situated to make me comfortable (even if I'm mildly embarrassed that I turned thirty-four and bought what is effectively a cushion for old people with coccyx injuries...but the cushion raised me up three inches, which is enough to get me at the right ergonomic position, so I'm going to have to live with the shame). So I sipped tea, wrote some pages, and then lost myself in a rabbit hole of research into Palladian architecture so I could figure out what rooms Rafe and Octavia might be getting up to some shenanigans in during the coming chapters.

However, I had to throw in the towel earlier than I wanted so that I could go to the south bay. I've been ruminating over my schedule for awhile, and as it has become clear that mornings are my best writing time, I've become increasingly loath to schedule anything before 1pm...which has made balancing my desire to see Alyssa against my desire to write a fucking book (and then many more books after this one) tres difficile. Sooooo....

Alyssa and I are taking a break. My personal intention is that we'll still do some form of coaching, more remotely, with fewer days required for me to drive to the south bay...I definitely don't want to stop working out or doing things that make me feel healthy, etc. But where it made sense to pay a trainer to force me to work out when I had two jobs (and would realistically not have made time for the gym on top of everything else when I was so focused on writing before work), it seems to me that I don't need the forcing mechanism...and if I can't motivate myself to go to the gym with my current schedule, I'm kind of wasting my time/money by paying a trainer. I might have felt differently if she were in the city, but it's hard to waste three or four (or more) of the best hours of my day twice a week when I really need to be focused on the books.

So, we had a long talk about all of this, and discussed taking a break so I could reflect on what I want from our next steps + she can figure out what she thinks she can offer me. That resulted in a very abbreviated workout at the end of the session, and an intent to go back on Wednesday to talk some more and do another workout before taking a three-week (or so) break. That's probably good timing since I need to finish this book, etc., but still...I love Alyssa, and I'm sad to pause things even though I think it's the right decision.

Anyway, after that I showered and went to my former place of employment, where I had a v. long, leisurely lunch with Heather (aka dear respected madam). We caught up on all sorts of ridiculous things while eating a relatively tasty lunch, and it was good to see her even if I've gone back to campus / talked to former coworkers an embarrassing number of times in the last couple of weeks. However, Heather was a coworker so long ago that I don't think it counts anymore, so I'm not going to sweat it.

I left her in time to beat the worst of the traffic home, but when I got here I was sleepy and vaguely hangry, so I ordered an early dinner and took a nap like the coccyx-cushion-using octogenarian that I am. And then I spent most of the evening working - no new words, but a lot of stuff for business-related activities + some continued research into British architecture. I know, my life is glamorous.

And now I must sleep so I can get up early and repeat the morning feat before getting embroiled in some ridiculousness tomorrow afternoon...goodnight!

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