Sunday, March 29, 2009

doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city

I had a decent day today and my equilibrium is a bit restored, although I'm by no means in the clear when it comes to my sense of balance. I woke up early again this morning, and again the thoughts rushed in and kept me from going back to sleep, so I took care of stuff around the apartment, then walked down to Union Square again. I love my neighborhood; at ten a.m. on a Sunday, I passed a group of middle-aged men sitting on the sidewalk passing around something that smelled like very cheap alcohol. But my destination was Samovar in Yerba Buena Gardens, which is so upscale in comparison that it's like Samovar and the men drinking on the sidewalk inhabit completely different worlds even though they're only a mile apart. I just had masala chai at Samovar with Katrina yesterday, but today promised to be another gorgeous day, and I wanted to get out and enjoy it.

After Samovar, I went to the mall again, and this time, despite going to exactly the same stores that I went to yesterday, was more successful. I think I know what I'm going to wear for my photo shoot on Tuesday, unless I change my mind at the last minute -- I got a cute dress at J Crew, which I'm excited to wear in general even if I decide not to wear it for my photos. I also bought some totally kickin' silver shoes, which made me happy. Nothing like blowing money in a recession to make me feel like I'm doing my part to stimulate the economy while giving myself some retail therapy at the same time.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing laundry, removing tarnish from a couple of silver items, meticulously painting my fingernails, and talking to my parents. I talked to my brother first, and then he said that our parents would call me back as they were engrossed in some fine CBS programming. I fell asleep for half an hour waiting for their call -- since I've been getting up too early and have been walking an emotional tightrope during my waking moments, I'm dead by afternoon, as evidenced by the fact that I unintentionally took naps both yesterday and today. But, I talked to my parents, which was v. nice as usual. Then I did work email for an hour or so before having dinner with Oniel (aka Fauxneil) at a Thai place somewhere between my place and his girlfriend's apartment. It was great to see him, although I felt vaguely bad about talking about myself too much (we rehashed a bunch of stuff about layoffs; while I'm clearly more excited about the Golden Heart than I am about the layoffs, I'm trying not to get my hopes too far up on the romance book side, so I'm spending far too much mental energy thinking about the awfulness of the layoffs instead). So, I'll have to get together with Oniel again someday when my life has been normalish for a couple of weeks.

Even though it's not quite ten p.m., I'm going to go to bed -- I want to get sufficient sleep the next couple of nights so that I don't have dark circles under my eyes for my photo shoot. It kind of feels like senior pictures all over again -- and ironically enough, I look almost exactly like I did in my senior pictures, since I've grown my hair out and am currently about the same size as I was when I was seventeen. So I suppose I could just use one of my senior pics for this press release -- but I'm actually a little excited about doing a photo shoot, so I'm following through with it anyway. Goodnight!

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