give a little bit of your love to me

Today, while much better than yesterday, wasn't quite as balanced as I had hoped. I woke up at six a.m. and made the mistake of thinking, which then made me wide awake. I laid in bed for an hour hoping to fall asleep again, but I failed. So, I got up and took care of the final bits and pieces of my tax stuff, researched tips for makeup/clothing for author headshots, and then took a leisurely shower and played with my hair and makeup for awhile to see whether there was anything I "needed" from Sephora.

I was all excited to go forth and conquer, but then I got rejected again by the agent who rejected me pre-Hawaii and decided to reconsider after I finaled for the Golden Heart. I'm actually okay with it; she clearly wasn't enthused the first time, and even though I would have liked to have her as an agent, it might have been hard to get over the fact that she had originally rejected me. She gave some more feedback, but while I recognize what she identified, I think a lot of it is personal preference -- so I'm essentially looking for the agent who shares my taste. When that will happen, I do not know, but even though I'm not devastated, it did dampen my enthusiasm.

I succeeded at Sephora (where "succeeded" means "spent lots of money"), but I failed in my search for a new top to wear for the photos. I may go shopping again tomorrow, or I may be content with some of the stuff in my closet. After shopping, I came home and accidentally slept for an hour and a half. Katrina called around 4:30 or 5 to ask if she could still take me out to celebrate/mourn the week's events -- I was afraid that wine might make me sad, so we went to Samovar instead. They recently opened a third location at Laguna and Page, and while it serves all the same stuff, it wasn't nearly as crowded. So, we hung out there for a couple of hours and rehashed everything that's happened this week. It was v. v. lovely, and I'm glad I got out of the house and hung out with her, despite my mildly antisocial mood this weekend.

It's time for bed. I have more to accomplish tomorrow than I can possibly get done; I basically did no work last week, because Monday Walter was in town, Tuesday I was too tired to focus, Wednesday was the best day ever, Thursday was the worst day ever, and Friday was spent picking up the pieces. I can't do everything tomorrow that I should have done last week, but I should at least put in some effort. But I also need to do laundry, bake cookies, at least think about starting again with Madeleine and Ferguson's book, and have dinner with Oniel. So, sleep is crucial for all of this -- and for restoring emotional equilibrium so that I can survive the next volley of good and bad that will surely hit. Goodnight!