get right to the heart of matters, it's the heart that matters more

I'm operating through some pretty ridiculous emotional swings right now. I'm also operating on a venti mocha, which served as my supper, so bear with me. But if you've seen the news, you'll know that about 200 people in my company were laid off today, which made for the most unpleasant day of my career coming exactly one day after one of my wildest dreams came true. Ridiculous, eh?

I wasn't laid off, but some members of my team were affected (how's that for manager-speak?), as were some of my friends. While I won't comment on the decisions, anything like this is obviously rough, and while I managed to keep it together for the team, I was (and remain) really sad for the individuals involved.

That's really all I can say about that -- it sucked, and tomorrow will suck, and next week will suck. But in the midst of all that suckiness, bright spots emerged -- like the fact that an agent, from an excellent agency, whom I had not queried before, cold-emailed me this morning (to my dearsara@sararamsey email address, which means she did her homework) asking to see my full manuscript. Two days ago, I was despairing in my agent search (prematurely, given that I've been at it for two months and many people search for two years), and now, I have agents reaching out to me. I also spent some quality time distracting myself from my sorrow by looking for a photographer, and I believe I've found someone to do a headshot next week for the official press release. I also had a long conversation with my parents, long conversations with Joy, Alan, and Dave, and a shorter but still helpful conversation with Katrina, so I'm in a better place. And, thankfully, I had a quick lunch with Adit -- I originally intended to cancel, but as the morning wore on, I realized that I really needed a half hour with someone who didn't work there and who could take my mind off of all the awfulness, and he fit the bill perfectly. One of my sins is not relying on my friends enough, but I was glad he came over today; the family time was much needed.

So, that's all. Tomorrow will be a better day because it can't possibly be worse. And at some point I'll recover my equilibrium -- but the blog may be an even crazier place than usual for awhile. Goodnight!