take this and take six, haters

I had thought that tonight would be a quiet, early night during which I could rest and recuperate...but as usual, I was wildly incorrect. Today was great, though - this conference has definitely been worth it (although I guess 'it' is ill-defined, and it's hard to say that going to Hawaii isn't worth 'it' ever, right?). But I feel like I've got tons of ideas (both writing and marketing/career) sparking, and I'm sucking in lots of energy (like an energy vampire, which is unusual for me since I am usually the energy donor rather than the vampire in many situations).

sssanyway - I had to take sudafed this morning and felt a little bit off all day as a result, but it was better than continuing the wracking cough/misery that I woke up to. I may have pushed it too hard yesterday, and I definitely pushed it too hard today, but I feel like I need to - the purpose is to make connections and learn things, which I'm doing. I went to the 8am breakfast, mostly because Barbara was speaking - and while she called out the people at her "friends table" who were writing too slowly (I felt affronted, but so did half the other people at the table, so I guess it probably wasn't directed just at me), her advice was generally spot-on.

Then I went to a Kobo talk (great), followed by a publisher talk, followed by an hour and a half break for lunch, which I spent in Christie's suite working/eating lunch with her and Monica. Then I went to a talk by another retailer (secret!) and had two quick 1:1 meetings (one was innocuous; the other convinced me that I need to write SPINSTER HONEYMOON immediately).

At that point, I hit the introvert wall hard, so I walked to the mall to pick up my altered pants (thankfully they look great and were perhaps worth the drama), and I also picked up the underwear I'd ordered from Nordstrom to be ready for me when I got there (I brought plenty, but failed to coordinate colors, so have several light dresses left and a whole bunch of hot pink/red/black to go underneath it, which doesn't really work so well). And I hit up Anthropologie, mostly because I needed a break from people and shopping was a fun way to spend an hour. The mall was way too large and way too fancy, but it was a good interlude.

Then I came back to my hotel and sat on my balcony for ten minutes while eating a granola bar and drinking iced coffee and staring at the ocean and making notes about the story brewing in my head. And then I met up with some of my friends for dinner - we walked down to a Mexican restaurant that had a gorgeous rooftop terrace, and we drank margaritas and replenished our Californian need for avocados.

After that, I should have gone to bed, but Anne lured me into going up to Christie's room again, and so I sat there from 8:30 to midnight like an idiot. Monica was there as well, and the four of us gossiped and had a hilarious time. At some point Barbara came back from her dinner, and things went a bit off the rails (Christie told some story of a woman almost dying in the house she was buying, and we ended up talking more about politics than is usually advisable), but it was all super fun...and I continue to learn things even when things are off the rails, so I guess that's good.

But now I need to get the 6.5hrs of sleep that I'm going to eke out tonight - tomorrow is chock full of meetings and I'm not sure I'm going to survive it, but I'll try my best. After I get through tomorrow, the rest of it is gravy (Pearl Harbor + dinner plans on Thursday, a couple of meetings on Friday that I may skip in favor of more beach time), so hopefully I remember that perspective when I wake up surly and sleepy in the morning. Goodnight!

eh, sexy lady (oppa gangnam style)

I realized today that I've been all over the Polynesian Triangle in the last year - Easter Island and Hawaii are two of the three corners, and while I didn't make it all the way to New Zealand, Bora Bora is a pretty respectable distance. If I were a more sincere, #basic white girl, I would say that I'm so #blessed and post an appropriate image with an appropriate quote, but I'm not that - so I'll just say that I love beaches, and I would vote for every future conference to be held in Hawaii.

But I need to speed this up - today was great, but I'm so tired (I've only been sleeping five good hours a night, thanks to my cold situation), and I have to get up in time for the eight a.m. breakfast tomorrow because my friend Barbara is speaking there. Today, miraculously, I forced myself out of bed and downstairs in time to get a coffee before going to an 8:30am talk with Anne - and I'm glad I went, because I had some ideas while sitting there. Then, we went to the keynote brunch - the food was more like lunch food, but it was surprisingly good for hotel food. And Bella was the keynote speaker, so it's always fun to hear her talk. It's frankly a little bizarre that I've become close enough friends with the people who give speeches at these things to end up sitting at their table during the talks...I don't think I could have predicted this five years ago, but a lot of it comes down to being lucky to live in the same city as some super successful writers. Also, I think I'm vaguely endearing (and by that I mean some people love my cynical, sarcastic side), so that probably encourages them to keep me around.

sssanyway. Bella's talk went really well, although it was hijacked afterward by someone who wanted the mic to talk about their own advocacy stuff, which was just bizarre. But then I tried to go to another talk, decided it wasn't working for me, and so went to one of the outdoor bars and worked for a bit. Then I had a meeting with a couple of people from one of the retailers (hint: I make a lot of money from them, but then I pour it back into things like the gorgeous new gold MacBook that I'm typing this on, so maybe it's all going to be a wash in the end). The meeting went really well, and we talked about ways to promote Rafe and Octavia's book, and they seem excited about it. So, yay to that.

Then I took a too-brief nap and a much-needed shower, grabbed a snack, and boarded a bus for a luau. This was nice, but it was also probably a mistake - I didn't realize when I signed up that this was a massive excursion, including a bus ride that was an hour each way, plus four hours at the luau itself. The dancers were really good and I thought the kalua pork was as tasty as always, but it was too long and I felt trapped (as did others - a few people called cabs and were willing to cough up the $100+ to get from the luau back to Honolulu). Still, I had fun with the group, and I think that the new woman I met last night (Nalini) now sees that I'm not a total raging mess since I only had one watery mai tai, so it's possible we'll be able to be friends after all.

Then we came home, and while I had hoped to sleep on the bus, our guide entertained us the whole time (which involved things like doing the wobble and the macarena while seated). So that was actually pretty fun, but I hit a wall as soon as I got back to my room, and I never want to see people again. But I have to see them in nine hours, so I should go to bed and get over my temporary hermitville - goodnight!

i know i got to be right now, cause i can't get much wronger

I had the best day and made the worst decisions, and it all seems to have turned out wonderfully. My cold still abides, and I woke up around four a.m. and daydreamed/nightmared until I finally got out of bed at sevenish to face the day. But I cleaned myself up, put on a swimsuit, grabbed some tea and yogurt from Starbucks, and then called my parents unusually early (eight a.m. in Hawaii = ten in California and noon in Iowa) - this was the best time for quiet, uninterrupted catching up, so I heard all about their lives and told them a little about Hawaii (which is basically nothing, since I've had no meetings these last couple of days and have just lazed about).

Then I met Barbara and Christie down on the beach, and they had very helpfully grabbed a chair for me, so we laid out allllll day. We got there at nine, and I left at four, and in between I only took a break to grab a to-go salad (and then a coke) from a nearby deli. Miraculously, thanks to the sunscreen routine I perfected in Bora Bora, I only burned a bit of my elbows and a small strip of my back where my swimsuit top rode down...and I'll totally take that. Lying in the sun did great things for my soul (and probably my skin, and hopefully my cold), and the weather was as perfect as it could have been. Christie, Barbara and I also brainstormed each others' books, gossiped, and laid about (they both went to University of California at Santa Barbara, so they are far more proficient at tanning than I am). And I read several chapters of THE STORY OF A NEW NAME (the second Neapolitan novel; I read the first a couple of weeks ago), and gossiped with Christie about the advanced unpublished copy she was reading from an author whom I used to adore and whose books have lately sucked (and will likely continue to suck).

sssanyway. Needless to say, we totally ignored the Super Bowl, which I'm fine with. Eventually, Bella showed up (and promptly went to her room), and then Anne and Poppy joined us, and it was all v. merry. But I took a couple of hours off to shower and change and have some non-group time. And then we went to Barbara and Christie's suite to have snacks and drinks before dinner.

This turned into kind of a shitshow - we went to Roy's, which had amazingly delicious sushi, and so I spent $100 on sushi...but by that I mean i spent $50 on sushi and $50 on martinis, which explains why it was a shitshow. Anne, Christie and I sat together in what we immediately dubbed 'martini corner', and while everyone else stayed relatively sober, we got merrily wasted. I suspect Christie (who was way more wasted than us) will be v. v. surprised in the morning when she sees, again, that Anne and I turned a selfie of ourselves into her phone wallpaper. But I think that all this lubricant may have made me extra charming to Nalini, a v. famous paranormal author who joined us....or I burned a bridge with her but she was too charming to say so. I knew everyone else (six of the eight people I went to Montauk with, plus Barbara's daughter and Tina's husband), and they all know how the denizens of Martini Corner roll, so it was all super fun.

But it was perhaps ill-advised when I'm still recovering from my cold, so I'm going to go to bed immediately. I theoretically have a panel at 8:30, but my first real commitment is at 10, so we'll see how things are feeling in the morning (I'm predicting minor spinning + surliness, but nothing to destroy me). Goodnight!

play secretary, i'm the boss tonight

I had a pretty great day in Hawaii despite being sick, which wrecked all my plans. I was all excited to see the North Shore, etc., but I woke up at 3:30am when my Sudafed wore off, and I didn't really sleep much after that. Instead, I dosed and daydreamed until seven, when I finally got out of bed and faced the reality that I shouldn't go play if I have any hope of getting better, rather than worse, before the conference. And since the conference is what I'm here for, and since I have meetings Tuesday and Wednesday that I would like to be mostly coherent for, I took the extremely unusual tactic of playing it safe and staying in rather than being lured into sightseeing.

But I still showered, got dressed, and met up with my friends at 8:30 to say goodbye to them before I went off to one of the restaurants to have breakfast. I ate and worked there for a couple of hours - I wasn't feeling well enough to go out, but since most of my daydreams consisted of career stuff, I felt like getting some shit done. Then I adjourned to Starbucks, where I paid the criminally high hotel-Starbucks prices for a tea to soothe my cold, and I continued to work for awhile.

By noonish, I was suddenly, achingly tired, so I took a nap. Then, I went to the bar and ordered nachos (comfort food), but I didn't eat a ton of them because I got a text from my friends saying they were coming back to Honolulu for a late lunch and asking if I wanted to be picked up so I could join them. I said yes to that, mostly because I wanted to get out of the hotel. So we went to Duke's, which we're also going to go to on Thursday night (I made a reservation ages ago - it's the same Duke's that Terry and I went to in Malibu many years ago, and I dream of their mai tais). However, due to my illness, I stuck with water today (that's how you know I'm sick), and I listened to everything I missed (not much - I'm glad I stayed in and rested, particularly since it was overcast and misting most of the day, which means I didn't miss beach time either).

Then we came back to the hotel, and I rested/worked on my balcony until sunset. Eventually, I went to Barbara and Christie's suite (Barbara is giving a speech, so they gave her a fancy room), and we sat around and talked for three hours, as we usually do. I did succumb to temptation and have some white wine, since Christine was drinking it and I usually need it if we're going to gossip about publishing (my favorite!). But all in all it was a lowkey night, and I think that was a good thing.

So, sorry you didn't get to hear any tales of wild adventures in Hawaii today - but I'm hoping tomorrow will be a beach day, followed by a late-ish dinner at a fancy sushi place after more people arrive in the afternoon. And I'm really hoping I'm feeling better, since Christie and I are going to brainstorm each other's books (she's starting a new one, and I'm slowly coming up with a plot for SPINSTER HONEYMOON), and while I come up with some of my best ideas while I'm hallucinating, I don't always remember them. So to that end, I'm going to go to bed - goodnight!

it takes two to make a thing go right

As I said last night...I'm in Hawaii, bitches! And it's pretty magical, but I definitely have a killer cold, which is dampening the magic somewhat. However, I bought Sudafed for this cold (and am probably on some watchlist as a result - I haven't bought Sudafed since it was restricted because of the methheads, but now I realize that it's a wonder drug because it's the only thing that got me through the flight). And I drank a lot of tea and water and juice today, and only had one mai tai (theoretically one should probably have zero mai tais while sick, but where's the fun in that?). So I'm hoping that if I get a lot of sleep tonight, I'll make some vague attempt at recovery.

However, that vague attempt at recovery didn't go so well today, mostly because it involved a lot of travel and hanging out. I got up at six, was out the door before seven, and got to the airport in time to have a delicious breakfast at Andale and get some tea for my thermos. I strolled up to the gate just as they were starting to board, and so I cut into line with Barbara and Kristen (Barbara is my writer friend; Kristen is her daughter, who happens to work at one of the online book retailers who shall remain nameless, and so is attending this conference in her own right). I knew they were flying first class, so I had used miles to upgrade myself because I figured I would be super sad and jealous if I had to sit in economy while they were in first - yes, I'm spoiled. What was bizarre was that I ended up sitting next to a former doctor of mine, which made for some strange and interesting conversation since she knows somewhat intimate details about my life and I know absolutely nothing about her. So that was super awkward for about ten minutes, and then it was kind of fun (although we didn't talk all that much).

So, I took a couple of brief naps on the plane, but for the most part I spent it working - and by working I mean prepping for my meetings here, and stalking the LinkedIn profiles of people I'm meeting with, and taking notes on things I want to discuss. I'm not done with that, but I should have some time this weekend, and the meetings don't start in earnest until Tuesday/Wednesday.

When we landed, Barbara, Kristen, and I shared a cab to the hotel, checked in, and then immediately ate a late lunch at one of the hotel restaurants. The hotel we're staying at is ridiculous - not that it's super nice or posh (again, I'm a princess, and have been spoiled forevermore for tropical vacations between my stays at the Fairmont in Maui last Thanksgiving + the Four Seasons Bora Bora + Lauren's dad's house in Puerto Vallarta....), but the 'hotel' is really more of a giant resort. There are five towers of rooms, twenty restaurants (everything from smoothies to Benihana to bars to Round Table Pizza to some fancier local-type things), multiple pools, and immediate access to Waikiki Beach.

But I was too sick/tired to make use of the pools, and it was overcast this afternoon anyway. So after we had lunch, I came back to my room, unpacked and hung my stuff up (I'm here for nine nights, I might as well settle in), and took a brief nap. Then I ran a ridiculous errand - I bought some pants yesterday and had no time to get them hemmed, so I brought them with me in hopes that the hotel could alter them. They couldn't, but they directed me to a dry cleaner in the nearby mall - and that mall is gigantic, so it took me ten minutes to walk to the mall and another ten minutes to cross it and find the dry cleaner. But they took the pants, and I'll get them back Monday, which means I'll have them for Pearl Harbor + other sightseeing + flying home, which is all good.

When I got back to the hotel, I grabbed some more tea and then met up with Barbara, Kristen, and our friend Christie, who arrived a couple of hours after us. We had snacks and drinks at one of the bars (including some 'shrimp tots' that were basically fried shrimp, and were so fucking good), and engaged in some desultory gossip (as writers do), and saw the tiniest bit of the hotel's Friday night fireworks show. And we made plans for tomorrow - Barbara is renting a car and we're going to explore the North Shore, which should be fun, provided I don't die of a sinus explosion.

So, that was my day - it's only 9:45pm here, but it's 11:45pm back home and I am exhausted, so I'm going to call it a night and maybe try to write before we go north. Goodnight!

you lured me in, i couldn't sense the pain

I got maybe five hours of sleep last night, which did not help my cold situation (which is definitely a situation). And today was mildly frustrating - I did some email-type stuff this morning, and then I walked down to the marina to see my aesthetician, but she totally flaked (and later claimed she'd thought she had texted me to cancel, but I never got it). So after waiting at her office for twenty minutes, I proceeded to my next plan, which was brunch at my favorite cafe. Tony didn't know I was sick, but he gave me a mimosa, and I'll pretend that the splash of orange juice had enough vitamins to make it healthy.

Then I walked home, put in a load of laundry, and took a twenty-minute nap that saved my life. Then I talked to Kathia for awhile; we had put a video chat on calendar so that we would actually catch up, and we actually accomplished it, so that was one of the day's bright spots.

But after I stopped talking to her, I had to finish my laundry, and I went to Walgreens to stock up on cold meds, and then I had to pack (and I have no idea if I packed all the right stuff, but I'm just gonna roll with it at this point). Packing was pretty slow, probably because I feel like death, and probably because I kept taking breaks to mess around on the internet (stupid internet).

But I'm all done packing, and I cleaned out my fridge and took out the trash and am generally leaving my apartment in okay shape. So now I'm going to go to bed and hope that 7.5hrs of sleep is enough to restore me a little bit.

But despite the rather depressed mood of this post...tomorrow I'll be in Hawaii, bitches! And I think this conference is going to be great for me, and the sun will be just as great. So if I can just make it onto the plane, everything else is golden. Goodnight!

needle and the thread, gotta get you out of my head

I need to go to bed immediately - I was messing around on my laptop, and suddenly it's almost one a.m., and I feel like I'm suddenly coming down with a cold, which I really hope is not the case because I am leaving for Hawaii in less than thirty-six hours. But today was decent enough - not productive enough despite my best efforts at Philz, but I had curry at Mangosteen, and I got my nails done in preparation for Hawaii, which is the most important thing. I also had dinner with Lauren (aka Subz) at Troya, where we caught up on a ton of stuff - it was great to see her out and about on an evening, and hard to believe that her son is five months old (today!).

Sorry that's boring, but that's all you get - I'm going to mainline some emergen-c and go to bed. Goodnight!

i'll be your sinner in secret

Today felt like a long day, but that may have been because I was slightly hungover this morning and never really hydrated enough to recover. However, I got out of bed at a reasonable hour, made some iced coffee, and talked to my parents for over an hour - there was a lot to recap from the caucuses, which I found fascinating (they had the best turnout they've had in years, including a bunch of people who switched parties, which I found v. interesting). And it made me kind of wish that I could participate in the Iowa political process, even though I am generally happy that I live somewhere where I can vote without being in danger of getting snowed in at the same time.

After that, I spent most of the rest of the morning on the couch with my laptop. I took a break to make an omelette for lunch, and then I took a nap, and then I packed my gym back and went to San Mateo. I did some kettlebells + enough squats and lunges that I'll probably be sore tomorrow, and then I cleaned myself up and went to Philz to work.

However, before I went into Philz, I made an impromptu call to Katie, and I somehow caught her at a time when she was able to talk, so we caught up for quite awhile. Then I sat at Philz and worked for an hour. By this time it was almost seven p.m., so I had to pack up my stuff and go to dinner - I met my friend Amber, who is both a romance writer and an Episcopal priest, which fascinates me.

So, we talked about a wide variety of romance/religious topics over dinner at Three (seafood risotto for me, which was tasty), followed by a drink at Grape and Grain (the bar Joann and Jen and I went to earlier in January). This was all great, and we spent three hours talking, but by the end I suddenly realized that I needed to leave immediately or I would perish.

So I came home, and now I need to sleep - I have two days in which to do everything I need to do before Hawaii, and I'm suddenly (as in, just this very moment) realizing that that's not nearly enough time. So if I say tomorrow that I procrastinated, please punch me. Goodnight!

and she was looking at herself, and things were looking like a movie

Perhaps I should have stayed home and watched political coverage like a good Wampler...politics are in my blood, although I've ignored that blood while living in California, where it feels that my vote doesn't matter and I don't feel any particular tie to the land or the community. But, needless to say, I didn't stay home....but more on that in a second.

First, the beginning of my day. I woke up and laid in bed daydreaming slightly longer than I should have, but I succeeded in forcing myself out of bed, and I was at Philz on Golden Gate by 9:15 (an eminently respectable time for someone who doesn't have to commute or hold herself to a schedule). I wrote a couple of pages more than I had and a couple of pages less than I should have, but I'll take it. Then I came home, ate some leftover pasta + sauce (omg, still, so delicious), and took a nap.

But I slothed as much as I could sloth, so I spent the afternoon taking care of a variety of business-y type tings in advance of my Hawaii trip. Then, eventually, I changed out of yoga pants and into real clothes (with a shower as an intermediary step) and walked down to the downtown area to pursue an evening of non-caucus-y fun.

First up was drinks and tacos with John at Novela - it was kind of a shitshow, and maybe I won't go back there again, but the wine was tasty and the tacos were good. And really, the only reason we were there was because it was close to the next plan of the night...my romance writing alter ego got free VIP tickets to an advance screening of the new Nicholas Sparks movie (THE CHOICE, out on Friday). This turned out to be an incredible experience. For one, you can apparently buy wine at the concession stand and take it in, which I did not know. For another, because we were VIP, we had great reserved seats, and also we didn't have to surrender our phones (everyone else had to surrender all electronics at the door, because apparently someone thought that someone might want to film/steal this, which is impossible).

So, we got to the theatre just in time, and the movie started without any trailers, and we were shushed by someone nearby within the first two minutes of the movie (apparently our witty and erudite commentary was not as welcome as we thought). All in all, it was so bad that it was good, or something. Or at least we enjoyed ourselves. And even though it was terrible, I still teared up a couple of times at the end, because beneath my resting bitch face lies a heart of gold.

After the movie was over, we went to another bar and split an italian hot sausage and fries, and I had another glass of wine, which was both totally unnecessary and totally necessary. And then we parted ways, and you can tell that I was tipsy because I got into the first available cab rather than calling a lyft like a good techie.

And now, I need to sleep so that I can call my parents tomorrow and get the caucus lowdown, and also get some writing done, and also keep prepping for Hawaii. Goodnight!

these beats of a dark heart use baselines to replace you

I kind of inadvertently took today off from writing (and most work in general), and I think I am more excited about writing tomorrow because of it. When I woke up this morning, I only lounged in bed for a little bit before I remembered that I was supposed to try getting out of bed earlier - so I was up and curled up on the sofa with tea by 7:45, which is way earlier than I usually get up on a Sunday without dire need.

So, since I was awake, I finished reading Shonda Rhimes's "Year of Yes". I highly, highly recommend it - if nothing else, she's a great writer, and she tells the story of her year in interesting, beautiful, moving, thought-provoking, funny ways. But if you're stuck in a rut, or feeling like this is your last-ever chance to have kids (not what I'm feeling, but I keep running into people who are feeling this), or are generally waking up and looking around and wondering if you're living the life you'd actually intended to sign up for, this is a great read.

If you're even the most casual, unobservant reader, you probably picked up on the fact that I was oscillating in and out of a local minima (Adit's techie word for depression, which has stuck since he found me in a local minima my junior year of college and said, "Wampler, look at you, how are you living", which I think is his way of saying he cared) for much of the end of last year. And while I would say that I'm mostly out of it and mostly moving forward and mostly able to write again, there are definitely still days when I can feel myself holding back, holding myself down, holding myself apart.

So while I don't think that any book is the be-all end-all cure for anything, I read this one at the right time, when I was in the right place to hear it. I was already doing a lot the past few weeks to be more present in my life and say yes to more things and do things that I normally wouldn't do and meet people I would normally spurn, and Shonda's advice is basically all of that, taken to the logical conclusion of doing it all the time, in as many big and scary and growth-inducing ways as possible. So, if you need that kind of message, definitely try the book - and if you want to talk about it, let me know what you think.

So, I finished the book this morning, and then I wrote down the quotes I'd highlighted - I'm using a new computer-based journal instead of paper (an app called Day One), which I'm weirdly kind of liking (we'll see how long this last, since I'm a diary whore and switch notebooks frequently). Then I showered, etc., and sped down to the south bay for lunch.

My destination was the New England Lobster Market in Burlingame, which looks like it's in an industrial park, but they serve surprisingly delicious (and upscale, at least by price) seafood (mostly lobsters and crab and shrimp). Joann is about to embark on a special diet that will prevent her from eating all seafood and rice for a month, so this was her pick, and I'm glad we went there. It was nice enough to sit outside in the sun, and I had each of their three tacos (lobster, shrimp, and fish) - I loved the shrimp one, and the lobster and fish were good as well. But the winner may have been Jen's crab nachos, which I would happily eat again and again.

After we'd caught up on our lives and learned that Joann's diet restricts rice but allows Doritos (medicine is weird), we parted ways and I drove home. I desperately wanted a nap, but instead I went to whole foods and bought groceries (and white hydrangeas to give my dining table some funereal chic). Then I came home and called my mom - we talked for quite awhile, since politics and local events have resulted in a lot to catch up on. So much so that my dad didn't get to talk to me at all - he had to wait until after they'd eaten supper.

So the break in between gave me a chance to start cooking my own supper - I wanted to make pasta all'amatriciana again, so I cut up everything and started the tomato sauce before my dad called me back. The sauce simmered happily while I talked to my dad (maybe less happily, because of the subject matter and not because of the speaker) about local developments, politics, my writing/career stuff, etc. I'll probably have to talk to them again on Tuesday to hear how the caucuses went down, but for now I'm going to bury my head in the sand and hope that Iowa and New Hampshire winnow the field down so that there are fewer decisions to make (or at least fewer candidates to listen to) by the time the California primary rolls around.

After we hung up, I finished the sauce, which involved cooking bacon and onions and garlic and red chili flakes together, then adding some of the tomato sauce to the mix, and then combining it with pasta. I only made enough pasta for tonight, but there's enough finished sauce for 2-3 more servings, and enough tomato sauce to freeze and eventually make more sauces later. So I ate my pasta, and it was so fucking good, if I do say so myself - easily one of my favorite new recipes.

And then I maybe should have written, but instead I curled up on the couch with a glass of wine and finished reading 'My Brilliant Friend' (the first book in the Neapolitan series by Elena Ferrante, which has gotten a ton of well-deserved acclaim in the last couple of years). And now I should probably sleep - it was nice taking today off, but I need to write tomorrow. Goodnight!

love, you're not alone

The last half of the day went off in a totally serendipitous, unexpected direction...I felt like I was headed for a hermit Saturday, and it turned out to be the opposite. I had trouble getting out of bed this morning, and I think forcing myself to get out of bed earlier is probably the thing I need to work on next - because I rarely have morning commitments, I tend to wake up at an earlyish hour and then lie in bed for another hour, which is usually not a good idea since I end up in some sort of weird half-awake fugue state which sometimes turns into wonderful daydreams, but other times turns into awful memories/nightmares. So I should probably sacrifice the daydream chances and get out of bed as soon as I wake up, rather than lying there and tempting the nightmares to come.

sssanyway. I finally got out of bed, put on some clothes, and went to Philz, where I worked for a couple of hours. I also stopped in at Books Inc and browsed around for awhile and bought three books (which is better than buying twenty, which is what I wanted to do), so that was a gorgeous interlude. Then I came home, made an omelette, sat on the couch, and debated what to do next - I was supposed to have drinks tonight, but those plans were postponed, and I was also supposed to have a video call, but that was postponed as well.

So I finally decided to shower, put on something cute, and walk to Fillmore to run a couple of errands, with the possibility of either writing on Fillmore after or grabbing a drink someplace. But just as I was finishing getting dressed, Katrina texted to say she was nearby. So I met her on Van Ness, and we walked to Arlequin, where we split some fries and started talking about venn diagrams of friends + romance publishing success + a variety of other topics. We were also hating on the incredibly loud, obnoxious group of people near us...

....when we looked up and realized that Vidya had joined them and was introducing herself to everyone. OF COURSE SHE WAS. It turns out that she was also on the Arlequin patio with Rajiv and Sheila, but they were in the back corner and Katrina and I hadn't seen them. So we joined them, and then John showed up, and John/Rajiv/Sheila/I sat on the edge of the drunken mess of people with Vidya as the only bridge between us.

So that was fun enough, but eventually we emancipated ourselves and went to Noir Lounge, where the six of us commandeered a table for six (which slowly turned into a table for nine over the next hour or so). Vidya's friends Dan and Jared showed up, as did Sheila and John's friend Jenny, and we had an utterly ridiculous conversation involving last chances to have babies, cannibal jokes, secret vasectomies, and other inexplicable topics.

We ended up splitting up - John/Rajiv/Sheila/Jenny went to the Richmond to celebrate an early Chinese New Year, and I went with Vidya/Dan/Jared/Katrina to The Page (at Page and Divis), where they intended to have a drink before a concert. Katrina went home fairly shortly thereafter, since she lived nearby, but I stayed until concert time. I was theoretically invited to the concert, but since it was sold out, I knew it wasn't in the cards. However, we had a delightful time; the threesome that Jared/Dan/I were planning failed to materialize, but I had a long convo with Dan about writing for blogs. And we grabbed food next door at Little Chihuahua, which now has a burrito-sized gluten free tortilla, which means I had my first burrito in several years and was in heaven because of it.

And then I came home, and now I'm going to sleep with the intention of getting out of bed right when I wake up tomorrow rather than indulging in dreamland. Goodnight!

when you see my face, i hope it gives you hell

I was productive again today...it begins to feel like saying that may no longer be noteworthy, but I'm going to keep saying it for awhile and hope that this becomes less of a surprising streak and more of a state of being. Not that I was *perfectly* productive - I still laid in bed until nine and contemplated life and all its mysteries. But maybe that's what I'm supposed to do as a crazy artist. But then, I'm not actually all that crazy, just eccentric.

sssanyway, let's start over. I got up around nine, freshened up a bit, and went to Philz on Golden Gate, which is more crowded but has a more open, inviting(ish) space. I wrote five pages while I was there, which I will totally take (although the slavedriver within me is asking why I didn't eke out ten). Then, sensing a break in the rain, I made a dash for home - it wasn't actually a break, as it turns out, but I had a scarf that I turned into a makeshift hood, so I survived.

When I got home, I ate some leftover pizza and spent the afternoon working on my couch, which was probably bad for my back (yes, I am still an octogenarian). I had a bunch of random stuff to get through, and I did most of it, so I was pleased with that (even if I probably should have put it all off and kept writing instead). Eventually, though, as the sun was about to set I realized that I should probably shower and put on real people clothes, so I took care of that - it's always nice when I spend the day like a Victorian lady, sitting around writing my letters during the day and then getting dolled up to go out at night.

So I successfully got ready, dried my hair (unnecessarily, since I soaked it in the rain moments later), and walked down to the Mission. This was probably a longer walk than I needed in the rain, but the rain was really drizzle, and I felt like walking, and walking probably didn't take that much longer than sitting through whatever standstill traffic I would have found on Van Ness. I had dinner plans with Claudia (aka Santy Claude) at Dosa, which was long overdue - we hadn't seen each other since early in December, before my trip to NYC (okay, we saw each other at a house party right before I left for Iowa, but her labmates were all there and so we didn't say anything of substance to each other). So we caught up on each others' lives over chutneys and dosas and glasses of wine, and it was all lovely.

But eventually we parted ways, and I came home and held to my previous vow not to look at a screen when I got back - instead, I started reading Shonda Rhimes's "Year of Yes", which I had ordered last week (per the goal to look at screens less, I'm trying to read books in print more). She's the writer/showrunner for "Grey's Anatomy", "Scandal", etc., none of which I really watch because I am very apathetic about TV (much to Terry's dismay, who is probably laughing right now over the fact that I'm reading Shonda's memoir). But since I'm sort of in the middle of a year of yes of my own (as evidenced by the fact that I've gone out more this month than I did in the previous three), it's an interesting read. And even if it weren't interesting (which it is), it would be hilarious - she's a great writer above all else, so I'm enjoying that.

But eventually I realized that I needed to sleep immediately if I have any hope of writing my own stories in the morning before commencing the rest of the day, so it's time for bed - goodnight!

my hips don't lie

I'm totally full, totally out of words, and mostly delighted (with a little bit of malaise, because hey, you wouldn't know what to do with me if I didn't have a tinge of cynical bitterness, right?). When I woke up this morning, I ignored everything that I had realized over the last few days and decided to try to write in the morning - which resulted in sitting on the couch in yoga pants, procrastinating and falling into fear spirals and monkey mind. But if that's the first time this week that it happened, I'll take it.

However, I pulled myself out, got some administrative work done, ate some lunch, and then drove to the Mission - my mission was to get my bangs trimmed, which means I can now see again (even if I prefer it when I look like a bitchy supermodel...but I'm hoping I timed it so that I get back to that stage while I'm in Hawaii rather than holed up in my apartment). Then, I adjourned to Ritual, where I wrote for an hour while drinking a latte - the writing went pretty well, actually, and the latte (the first real one I've had in ages, since I've mostly been drinking iced coffees at home) was delish.

Then I came home, intended to write some more here, and totally failed again. But I didn't have all that long to work - I had dinner plans at six p.m. at Rich Table with the original Jen Lui. We've decided to have the occasional super fancy dinner, and this one lived up to expectations (at least, to the expectations of fanciness).

We ended up doing the chef's menu, which was a seven-course tasting with everything selected by the chef. They were surprisingly accommodating of my gluten issues (I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since most of SF is, but I was assuming that I wouldn't be able to do the tasting menu, and they wowed me). And I've got to say, the first course was incredible - it was a selection of bites from their appetizers/first courses, and it was all delicious. Even the salad was perfect, and I don't usually rave about salad. But we each got an oyster, and a potato chip with a sardine on it (which was somehow great, even though when I typed it I instinctively wanted to throw up), and a bunch of other deliciousness that I can't name now.

The rest of the courses were just the slightest bit hit or miss for me - most of them were hits, and I really liked the gluten free pasta (after I got over how many seeds were on top), and the petrale sole was delicious. There were a couple of bites that were slightly too odd for me (the panna cotta with chili and other spices during the first course wasn't my favorite, and I think the only thing I really didn't like was the combo of black garlic sauce with the ribeye, which my Iowa heart thought was a waste of a good steak), but the dessert (coconut tapioca, espresso-flavored mousse, and yuzu ice) made up for it.

And, of course, the conversation was great - we covered a wide variety of topics, including the prequel to the Babysitters Club series that Jen had loaned me awhile ago, as well as work, the city, adventures in growing older, etc., etc. Hopefully we'll keep up this tradition of having the occasional fancy meal, since it's definitely fun to try new places (even though I like the old places, as you all know).

After that, I walked Jen most of the way to the BART, and then I walked myself home (but it was still early enough that I didn't see anyone particularly crazy or dangerous). Then I procrastinated on my phone and did nothing until I realized that I needed to crawl into bed immediately - I have high hopes of getting some writing done in the morning (because I apparently didn't learn my lesson this morning, but I'm going to try going to a cafe when I get up and see what happens - it used to work for me, and maybe it will work again). Goodnight!

you can tell me when it's over if the high was worth the pain

I somehow managed to forget until just now that I was rear-ended earlier today, so either the crash was minor, or this evening's wine-and-book trick did its job. It's probably a combination of both - the rear-ending happened on Van Ness, when I was stopped at a light, and the guy just kind of tapped me. The damage looked worse for him than it did for me - his car is lower than mine, so he slid up under the spare tire on my rear door and scraped his hood, while I just ended up with some scratches. So we exchanged information and were done in less than ten minutes, and I kind of doubt I'll do anything about it, but I need to wash it tomorrow and see if the damage is more noticeable when the post-Tahoe grime is gone.

So, that kind of shook me up despite it being minor, and it gave a weird tinge to my afternoon since I kept feeling the crash after (this is, apparently, a thing, since I had the same aftershocks when I was hit in October - I'm not liking the driving at the moment, since I'd gone 17+ years without any accidents and have had two in three months). But before the crash, I'd had a good morning - I got a lot of business-related stuff done, including prepping 1099s to send to the vendors who I paid more than $600 to last year, so that was all excellent.

I also spent some quality time prepping for my Hawaii conference - I leave in nine days, and while I'm mostly excited at the moment about sun and sea and mai tais and friends, I also need to remember that there is quite a bit of work to accomplish there, and that I need to prep for it. So I put the schedule into my calendar and my planner, and noted the 1:1 meetings that I need to prep for (I have eight appointments with the various retailers and book services who will be there, and while they are varying degrees of importance, they're all ultimately important and I don't want to look like an idiot despite not having put out a book in over a year). And now that I'm a little more organized, I'm not too worried about getting prepared, but I need to do some more work in the next week before I feel solid about it.

Then I made myself an excellent omelette, and then I showered and ran out the door for my writing date in San Mateo (to which I was ten minutes late, because see above). Anne was there, but Barbara wasn't yet, and so Anne and I talked until Barbara arrived, and then the three of us talked, so I basically wasted the first forty-five minutes (and by 'wasted' I mean 'enjoyed myself'). But then I wrote a surprising new scene for Rafe and Thorington (they are brothers, after all, and at the same party, so they should interact), and I'm loving what I have so far - like, actually loving it, in a way I haven't loved anything I've written in so long. So, yay.

But while I should have kept going with it, I was more concerned about beating traffic home, so I left at 4:15ish. Traffic was still brutal, but I didn't get rear-ended even though the girl behind me on the last critical mile into the city was taking selfies the entire time, so I feel #blessed. When I got home, I debated being good and cooking - but I was feeling slightly fragile, so I ordered a pizza, worked until it arrived, and then opened a bottle of wine and read 'The Baby-Sitters Club: The Summer Before'. Jen Lui loaned it to me a couple of months ago, and since I'm seeing her tomorrow night, it seemed like tonight was the right time to read it. It's a prequel to the BSC series, and while it's perhaps a little bit below my reading level, it was still fun to read.

I was thinking after that I don't really remember how I felt when I was turning twelve, as the girls were in this book....but then I realized that that was the summer that we moved to Ukraine, which is, by definition, so fucking weird compared to the usual twelve-year-old experience. So I do remember having crushes on older boys, but my crush went on to be in the Ukrainian parliament. And I remember fighting with my parents about what to wear (I had a real thing for wearing a long turtleneck belted over leggings, which at the time seemed weird, and now is exactly what I would wear again, although maybe a regular sweater instead of a turtleneck). But there no other kids around, except for [censored], and nowhere to go, and anyway, I was kind of glad to be trapped in an apartment eating radioactive homemade bread and homeschooling myself for a year rather than dealing with the assholes in seventh grade. So it all worked out, I guess.

And now, I think I shall sleep - I'm liking my strategy of doing business stuff in the morning and writing in the afternoons, and I want to continue that trend tomorrow, but that means getting some sleep (and hoping the rear-ending didn't cause any whiplash). Goodnight!

it isn't you, isn't me, search for things that you can't see

I enjoyed an absurdly fancy sushi lunch, made a lot of work progress in the morning and writing progress in the afternoon/night, walked four miles, washed and folded four loads of laundry, and spent some quality time watching crackheads at Philz Coffee....so I would say that today was a smashing success.

Granted, I didn't get up early enough - and by that I mean I lazed about in bed for at least an hour when I really could have gotten up. But then I curled up on the couch with an iced coffee and my laptop and slogged successfully for a couple of hours. Then I had to run out of the house and walk down to the Embarcadero to meet Gyre for lunch. There was a point when I realized I was going to be ten minutes late, and I thought of getting in a lyft - but the traffic nightmare on Embarcadero and the surrounding areas in preparation for the Super Bowl has already started, and taking a lyft a mile would have taken as long as finishing my walk under my own power.

Luckily, Gyre was slightly late too, so I didn't keep him waiting - and we spent an hour and a half catching up over really ridiculously tasty (and ridiculously expensive) sushi and tea. I hadn't seen him since before Thanksgiving, so we had a lot to discuss. His stories made me exceedingly glad that I am no longer managing people, and my stories likely made him exceedingly glad that he's been with the same incredibly sane woman since they were both nineteen, so we probably both left feeling smug and self-satisfied.

After that, I intended to go to one of the Philz on Market Street, but the area was buzzing (with both Super Bowl setup and the usual financial district midday scene), so I started walking home...and then decided to hop on a bus to save myself some walking. So I rode to Van Ness, then went down to the Philz on Golden Gate, where I drank coffee and wrote for a couple of hours. The early chapters are starting to come together, although I'm still struggling with a bit of monkey mind when I open the book to work on it - but it's going leagues better than it was, so there is hope.

Then I came home, did four loads of laundry, took out recycling and compost (the compost had become its own ecosystem and was on the verge of sentience, and I felt bad for destroying it), and ate some supper. Then, I procrastinated on the web (and also did a few business-y things)....but eventually, I curled up in bed and wrote for another hour. This time, though, I was making notes for 'Spinster Honeymoon' - I had been mulling over it this evening, and I suddenly had an idea for structure, and some snippets of dialogue started coming to me, so I wrote it all down so I wouldn't forget it. Whether I write this book this year or not remains to be seen - but I think I want to.

And now, I'm going to sleep and hopefully force myself out of bed earlier tomorrow so I can accomplish all the things - goodnight!

f*%$ you, julio senior

I had an awesome day. On some intellectual level, I know that I do better (mentally/emotionally, at least) when I'm slightly overscheduled, and yet for the last few months I shied away from overscheduling because of the irrationally opposite belief that I needed wide-open swathes of time in which to get work done. Lol. Past Sara was a trainwreck, I think. But Present Sara owned it today, and I hope Future Sara learns from the last couple of weeks of overly-scheduled time and implements some changes.

sssanyway. Today was one of those overscheduled days. Which is not to say, of course, that it was hard - I got up at 8:30, as opposed to the 5:30am start time I had when I was commuting, and was still working by 9:15. I slogged v. diligently for a couple of hours, and then I ate a quick breakfast, packed my gym bag and my laptop, and drove to San Mateo.

I went to Equinox for the first time in two months, so I'm probably going to be super sore tomorrow - but it was great to go back, and I seem to have outlasted the first three weeks' worth of new years resolutioners, because the gym was the same level of crowded that it was in November. I did some squats and lunges and kettlebell swings, and then I did some cleans/presses and some snatches, and it all felt great even though I realized I'd lost my calluses (they'll come back quickly).

The amusing thing, though, was that I was working out near this super fit-looking girl who was doing some interesting-looking things, interspersed with jumping ropes (which I'm way too uncoordinated to pull off). I was in 'I haven't been to the gym in two months' mode and feeling like a poser, and just kind of assumed she was judging me. But as I was putting away my chalk and putting my shoes back on, she asked me where I learned my kettlebell exercises, and I ended up showing her how to do a clean and press. This is the third time since leaving Alyssa that someone has complimented my form / asked me if I'm certified, so apparently Alyssa did me right. And I got some tips from the girl on other kettlebell exercises to look up on YouTube, so that was kind of fun, in the end, and it teaches me to stop ignoring/judging people at the gym.

sssanyway again. I showered, grabbed lunch in the cafe, and then went to Starbucks and wrote for a couple of hours with Anne and Barbara. I have like five different possible opening scenes going, and so today was about comparing them all and trying to stitch them together into one scene - I didn't finish, but I made good progress.

And then, I met Shedletsky for happy hour in San Carlos, where we drank a lot of pinot noir and discussed tech-related things. Then, we adjourned to an italian restaurant and had dinner with Tina (aka Bride of Shedletsky), and continued to discuss life, and also discussed a possible trip to Macchu Picchu (aka Macho Pikachu, in Shedletsky-speak).

So, that was all great. And then I drove home, and now I need to sleep; tomorrow is more low-key than today, although I have grand lunch plans with Gyre. And low-key is good - while overscheduling myself is good, I think I'm in the mood to be productive, and there are many, many things on my to-do list that I could apply myself to if I feel like getting out of bed. So I'm going to get into bed now and see if that happens - goodnight!

pale prophecy

Last night's break from the social whirl paid off, even though I had a bit of regret when I heard that the plan I bailed on turned out to be quite fun. But really, I had no regret - I needed nine hours of sleep and a bunch of water instead of whisky, and that's exactly what I had. So I got up a little after eight ready to hit the day, and I showered, made myself some iced coffee, and was at my desk (and by desk I mean kitchen table, but I live in a studio so that's the best I can do) by 9:15.

First up on the list was a video chat with Kathia - we hadn't caught up since before the holidays, although we had exchanged some emails/texts, so we had a lot to say. Her life is more dramatic than mine at the moment, especially since she's contending with a blizzard, so it was good to talk (and to catch her up on my usual drama, which is not particularly dramatic at the moment). After we finished talking, I made myself an omelette with my new omelette pan and John's omelette technique, and it was so fucking good. Granted, I included some delicious (and deliciously overpriced) ham, and mushrooms and green onions, and monterey jack cheese, so it wasn't just the eggs that were good - but all together, it was totally perfect and now I want to eat an omelette every morning for the rest of my life (except on the mornings when I want to have salmon and cream cheese, of course...or the mornings when I'm hungover and go down to the marina so Tony can make me some huevos rancheros).

And then I got a pedicure, because my toenails were looking beat and I'm too much of a princess to neglect them. Then I worked for a couple of hours on a secret project, and I'm still debating what to do about this secret project, but we shall see. Then, I had my usual phone call with my parents - we talked health and politics and weather and Iowa State basketball on their side, which is pretty par for the course, and we talked writing and ridiculousness on my side, which is also pretty par for the course - but it was good to talk to them, as per usual.

After that, I worked on Rafe and Octavia for an hour. Then, I accidentally took a ten minute nap, and then woke up with a start and realized that I needed to leave immediately. So I put on real pants and ran out the door to meet up with Katrina. We had a quick, healthy, reasonably priced (ish - for SF, at least) dinner at Spinnerie, which is the rotisserie place near me - while we have seen each other pretty often since I got back from Iowa, we hadn't really had much of a chance to catch up on our own, so it was great to have a bit of a lowkey hangout.

We continued the lowkey hangout at Hemlock, where we had a hot toddy and talked while waiting for the main act of the evening - a comedy show hosted by Anchor Brewing, which included a performance by Sean Keane, who is friends with Vidya and Katrina and a bunch of other mutual people (although I haven't really crossed paths with him much). John showed up before the show, and he's friends with Sean as well, so Sean ended up talking to us before his performance (the whole thing was running like an hour late).

Then we went into the room where the show was happening, and there was a bizarre bit with the Anchor rep, who was asking people if they had any questions about beer or brewing or anything else, while ignoring the fact that the crowd clearly wanted to get to the comedians and the band. John later called the guy 'Beer Santa', which should give you a picture of what he looked like. But he finally left, and the first performer started (Caitlin Gill), and she was totally awesome and told a great story about stripping in front of a group of strippers whose holiday party she was performing for.

And then Sean performed and he was great too, and I loved his story of accidentally becoming a river troll while high on shrooms, but John later told me that his story about a proposal at a baseball game was all made up, so now I feel like the whole world is a lie and that I can't trust anyone ever again. Sad times. But I laughed a lot and wondered why I don't go to comedy shows more often, and then I remembered that I went to this one because it was free and less than two blocks from my house, and then I stopped feeling bad about my past decisions.

Eventually, though, it ended, and we all parted ways, and now I am writing this to you so that you will not be mad at me tomorrow when you check the blog and discover that I didn't post. You're welcome. Goodnight!

don't you know that you're toxic

As you might have guessed from last night's post (which was really this morning's post), my day was kind of brutal. I dragged myself out of bed at 8:30 and managed to shower and make myself look halfway presentable before walking down to Samovar in Yerba Buena Gardens for a brunch date with Heather (aka dear respected madam).

We hadn't seen each other in a couple of months, partially because I was out of town and partially because she somehow had the wrong number in her phone for me and so texted multiple times and then assumed I hated her. Lol. I definitely hate people, but not her. Luckily, we cleared up that misunderstanding and had a great time catching up over brunch - it's perhaps an exaggeration to say that it was 'fun', since she's dealing with family stuff and I had a lot of drama to catch her up on (all of which is luckily behind me, but again, we hadn't seen each other since before I went to Denver, so there was a lot to say about SF and NYC and my writing and everything else). But I always love hanging out with her, so I loved our extended catch-up over tea and toast ('toast' is big in SF right now - I'm sure all of you in other parts of the country also love spending $10 on a piece of bread with a couple of eggs on top!).

sssanyway. My voice was shot even before I got to her, and I had somehow had something like an asthma attack this morning while getting into the shower (luckily I have an inhaler), which I'm going to blame on no sleep, too much alcohol, and too much karaoke/shouting to be heard at the bar. But I didn't feel quite like death, so I stopped at the mall, flipped off a guy and his friend who made some comment about my pussy and then vaguely wondered if they would find me and murder me later (so far, the answer to that would be no), tried on (and liked, but did not buy) some jeans, and then decided to go home. I left the mall and promptly walked into the middle of a big anti-abortion protest (the sexual harassers in the mall must have been avoiding that scene), and I was a) v. glad I hadn't driven downtown and b) v. eager to get out of the crowd.

So I walked home, grabbed Philz on the way, and then messed around on the internet in a desultory fashion until it was time to talk to Terry - we had a lot to catch up on, so we did it via hangout, and I got to hear about her experience with the historic blizzard. Then I took a nap, which was v. v. necessary, and did some more productivity stuff, and ate some spaghetti with some amatriciana sauce that I'd frozen last month (delish - I wish I had more sauce and am going to have to make another batch asap).

At that point, I was supposed to go out - I had tentative plans to do more karaoke with John and Vidya at Rickshaw Stop, but despite texts from both of them, I held firm to my belief that I needed to stay home and sleep tonight so I can get something productive done tomorrow. I've been happy with how social I've been this month, and I'm determined to do more new things this year than I did last year (I have the time for it, and that was one of the reasons I quit my job to begin with) - but tonight I needed a break, so I took it.

So I got some more stuff done tonight, and now I'm going to sleep, hope that I get nine hours, and then try writing in the morning before pursuing my other plans for the day. Goodnight!

hold me closer tony danza | them baggy sweatpants and the reeboks with the straps

At approximately 11:30p.m., I turned to Adit and said that I needed to take it slow tonight because I have brunch plans at 10a.m. and didn't want to repeat last night's off-the-rails adventure. But then he got this crazy light in his eyes, and I got a crazy light in my eyes....and experienced readers can guess what happened, and why it's now four a.m. and I have to get up in 4.5hrs. So I'm taking the unprecedented step of using two song lyrics for the post title, but since I feel like I lived several days compressed into this one, I'm going to go with it.

The first part of my day was highly professional; I went up to Sausalito to meet with some writer friends, and we found a really awesome coworking space that I would love to go back to. Then we had lunch at Salito's, which was right on the water, and my fish was delicious.

But you don't care about any of this - you're just waiting for the part where I had like ten drinks, so I'll try to speed this up.

I got home around three, and then I cleaned my bathroom, took a nap, and worked until six. And then I got ready and walked across the street to Yamasho for karaoke. John (the John from two weeks ago) had suggested karaoke themed around singers who died recently...but a combo of David Bowie and the Eagles is actually fairly depressing/ridiculous, so we added any singers who have died, or any singers who we wouldn't mind seeing dead. That expanded us into Nirvana and Stone Temple Pilots ('Vasoline' is always a song I love when I remember it, but I never remember it) and a variety of other choices...although how we ended up singing 'Tiny Dancer' multiple times is beyond me.

But after singing for 2.5hrs, we were all famished, so we adjourned to Flybar for drinks/dinner. There were six of us (Chandlord, John, Rajiv, Sheila, and Nina), and we spent a couple of hours having a highly ridiculous conversation about high school crushes on Al Gore + sending goats as gifts.

At that point, my evening was still sedate, but it was about to go off the rails. John, Chandlord and I took a lyft to a bar in SOMA for Misha's birthday party, but John walked in, took one look at the party, and left - he somehow tops even me on the hermit spectrum. But I kept walking in, and we immediately found Annie, who gave us a tour of the bar (lost on us, since we spent most of the evening in the same four feet of space, until it was time to dance).

And then we saw a bunch of other people, and then Adit showed up, and my liver waved a white flag upon seeing his face, Pavlovian-style, as though it knew there were no other options. So I had a pisco sour and a gin and tonic (and a bit of another gin and tonic), and a shot of whisky and a shot of tequila, and I was glad that we're getting old since Adit stopped there rather than continuing to ply me with alcohol (or me continuing to accept it).

We also danced a ton (although the deep house went way too deep for awhile), and I met some new people, and I avoided talking to some old people (mostly just the guy whom I've been introduced to many times in the past decade who always acts like he's never seen me in his life). And Adit and I somehow worked a lot of real-life stuff into our conversation despite the club-like atmosphere, so that was great. And then, at 2:20ish, Adit/Katrina/I caught an uber to Grubstake, where Vidya met us (she somehow had escaped with her life before, but put it in danger again by coming to Grubstake). There, we somehow 'befriended' a South African bartenderr in line, who was exactly the kind of ridiculous stranger you hope to see at Grubstake (unlike the two furries who came in in full-on animal costumes, which was a little too far beyond even for my tastes.

sssanyway, we accomplished the first part of our recovery over cheese potato skins, and then I made it home, and now I'm going to get every bit of the four hours of sleep available to me before I have to get up and be social again. Goodnight!

we are always running for the thrill of it the thrill of it

Tonight went totally off the rails, and it's two a.m. and I need to go to bed *right now* because I have actual meetings tomorrow (followed by actual karaoke, followed by actual house parties, all of which are trés important).

But today was great - I spent the morning/midday/afternoon being productive, and then I walked to the marina, where I had impromptu wine at Nectar with Chris and Leah (unplanned, but v. excellent). Then I stopped in at the Apple store (my original goal), and the I ended up having dinner at Aix, where I was quite sedate until I met some random strangers and ended up having one of my ridiculous 'talk to random strangers and learn their life story and perhaps become too involved' nights (they invited me back to their place, and the guy was careful to clarify that this was not an invite to a threesome, but I ultimately declined and ate pudding instead).

So after they left, I closed down the bar with the bartender and the hostess, and then I came home and was going to blog two hours ago, but I dozed off with my laptop on the couch. So now I'm going to go to bed for reals and hope that tomorrow treats me kindly - goodnight! 

you go, i'll stay, you can keep all the memories

I'm back in my apartment in the evil city, and I'm actually happy to be here - perhaps the equivalent of two months away from it in the past quarter or so has made me love it again. But then, I haven't actually been outside in the city yet, and they're about to shut down a bunch of streets to prep for the Super Bowl, and it's supposed to rain all weekend....so we'll see how long my joie de vivre lasts.

But today was great, and I wasn't totally ready to leave Tahoe even though another day probably would have resulted in cracked and bleeding hands (I am a princess and do not handle altitude well). I slept in a bit, and then I spent the late morning/early afternoon working and writing with Barbara. I really like her a lot, and she and her husband are perhaps the nicest couple I know...as evidenced by the fact that I've now spent almost three weeks at her Tahoe house in the nine months, which is certainly welcome (especially since her house is super nice and right on the lake). And hanging out with her is always inspiring and always results in a list of a million things I want to do with my books/publishing career - and maybe this time I'm actually going to follow through on all of them.

But I wanted to get on the road by four so that I could get through the mountains by dark - and I accomplished that goal down to the minute, which was great. The whole drive took less than four hours, which wasn't bad; I would have been home sooner, but I stopped for food and actually sat down to eat it rather than eating in my car, so progress was delayed. But when I got home, I unpacked, put everything away, and made my plans for the rest of the week.

And now, after several days of highly productive engagement in the mountains, I'm going to go to sleep and see if I can replicate that feat in the concrete jungle. Goodnight!

you want to go the fast way from jupiter to mars

I'm still in Tahoe...I think I'll leave tomorrow, since my skin is starting to dry up and I need to get back to lower altitudes before I look like the cryptkeeper, but it's been a highly productive trip to the mountains. Today was slightly more lowkey than the previous days; Bella and her family left around noon, and after that, I think Barbara and I were both feeling slightly lethargic (albeit still productive). So I answered a bunch of emails (not all the emails I need to answer, but it's a start), and I did some business-y stuff, and then we talked for awhile and walked to Safeway to get stuff for dinner.

But when we got back, I got some feedback on the latest direction for Rafe's development (which was super helpful). And then I barricaded myself in the media room and wrote for a couple of hours, which was great. But I stopped around five, and Barbara and her husband and I made dinner and hung out. Eventually, I opened my laptop again and did some more work (changing prices, doing some ad stuff)....and I made the horrifying discovery that my blurb for my first book fails to mention 'duke' enough, which is a serious rookie error since dukes sell books better than anything, and I didn't say he was a duke until the last fucking line. Oops. Clearly it's still sold a bunch of copies over the past four years (hard to believe it's been four years...), but I need to rectify this immediately.

But that's a task for tomorrow - right now I need to sleep so I can write in the morning. My current plan is to work here most of the day and leave around four p.m., with the grand plan of getting through the mountains before dark, stopping for something to eat before hitting traffic in Sacramento, and hopefully arriving in the bay area at the end of rush hour. But we'll see if that all works out - the main goal is to get some work done tomorrow before I leave, since I know I won't want to work when I get home if I leave in the morning. We shall see, we shall see. Goodnight!

who owns my heart? is it love or is it art?

I've completely, totally, unavoidably hit the wall on work - which is probably kind of bizarre for most of you to read, since many of you had a three-day weekend off, while I spent the entire three-day weekend working more than I've worked in at least two months. But a hard and brutal slog was probably a necessary way to burn off the rest of my pre-holiday anger/depression/malaise, and I'm feeling the story again, so this is all a good thing.

But yeah, today was brutal. I slept later than planned because I was wiped out from yesterday's work session, but I was downstairs by ten, and I spent an hour talking to Barbara while making myself an omelette (the first omelette I've ever made, and it turned out perfectly thanks to the lesson John gave me in Calistoga (was that really only ten days ago?)). There is a risk that I'm going to be hired to be her personal chef, since her husband was v. impressed by the looks of my omelette and keeps hinting, very strongly, that he would like for me to make him the soup that I'd made on one of my previous writing retreats. Ha.

Anyway, eventually Bella's husband and kids left to go skiing, and Barbara's husband left to work on stuff at their other rental property, and the three of us started working. We'd intended to work from eleven to three and then stop and relax for the rest of the day, but instead we worked until almost seven. At that point, I was so beyond dead that at some point I just walked away and wandered aimlessly around until I realized that I needed to eat something immediately or die, and so I ate some tortilla chips even though we were leaving for dinner in ten minutes.

Apparently it didn't ruin my appetite...we all went to MacDuff's, which is a Scottish pub a couple of blocks away, and I had the shepherd's pie (beef, onions, carrots, and some deliciously cheesy mashed potatoes on top) and a glass of wine, and I ate the entire shepherd's pie like I'd been starved for a week (which is the consequence of thinking so hard all day - creating things from scratch takes a lot of mental energy, so it's no wonder I'm wrecked).

And then we came home, and unlike during the previous nights I refused to be lured into further conversation - so I came upstairs, hid in my room, and read for the last hour or so. But Tahoe has been super productive, and I'm hoping I can keep the productivity going tomorrow (although Bella is leaving, so Barbara and I have plans to be less slave-driverish with ourselves and possibly go to work at Starbucks for a couple of hours, which would be a nice change).

And now, I need to sleep so I can continue my recovery and enable some productivity tomorrow - goodnight!

i know this road, goes back to the start

It was three years ago right now that I went back to the day job - I remembered, just now, that I started there the of MLK Day. That's the only observation, though...it feels like yesterday, and like a lifetime ago, and I have no feelings at the moment other than a bit of wistful nostalgia for how I must have felt on that weekend three years ago, and how I must have thought that I'd found exactly the right job at exactly the right time (which was true, although it didn't end up staying that way).

sssanyway. Today had nothing to do with that, and wasn't melancholy at all, so it's funny that I ended up in melancholia when the rest of the day was great. I spent almost all of it working downstairs with Barbara and Bella, which was all rather intense - I'm making great progress, etc., but that comes at the expense of all the energy necessary to keep my brain firing on all cylinders when I'm used to taking a lot more naps.

But we broke at five, and I talked to my parents for awhile, since I couldn't let Sunday go by without catching up with them. Then, I hung out and took a break, and then we all met Veronica (another writer) and her husband and son for dinner at Riva Grill. Riva is the common location for our end-of-retreat fancy dinners (or, at least, we've gone there on the last two retreats I've been on), and while the retreat isn't over, the dinner was v. welcome. I had scallops with dungeness crab risotto and two glasses of excellent pinot noir, and it was all totally delightful.

Then we came back to the house, and Bella tried to pry secrets out of me (but failed) and told me the only story she knows about Adit (he someone, mysteriously, found our friend Anne's book at Goodwill many years ago, and found that it had been signed by Anne to give to Bella, who had somehow donated it, and of course Adit told Anne immediately because that's the kind of friend he is....so I have now found someone who hates Adit for the most tangential and bizarre of reasons, which feels like a win!). And now I need to sleep so that I can attempt to rest my brain in time for tomorrow's workathon - goodnight!

what's wrong with being confident

There are parties going on around us tonight, and while I'm fondly remembering my youth, when I used to stay up all night drinking in rental units in Tahoe on snowy weekends like this one, my inner octogenarian is currently wishing the kids would get the fuck out of my yard.

However, despite my curmudgeonliness, today was great. Or at least it was productive - but my brain is fried, and I really need to sleep (and I'm glad I brought my earplugs). I basically spent the whole day working with Barbara and Bella, with some breaks for snacks and caffeine and a lot of laughter. We stopped around five and spent the rest of the evening hanging out...and a game of "Balderdash" sort of made an appearance. I say 'sort of' because Bella's daughter basically read us snippets from cards and tried to get us to guess stuff, which was actually pretty amusing (and interspersed with occasional outbursts of rage from other people in the house about the extremely loud party going on below us). But the most interesting part for me, since I'm a dork, is that the house has a newer version of Balderdash than the one that my family played over Christmas, and the non-1980s version has many different clues (including stuff around weird laws, which was kind of fun).

sssanyway, I'm even boring myself tonight, so I'm going to sleep and hope that my brain restores itself so I can work just as much again tomorrow. Goodnight!

even if we can't find heaven, i'll walk through hell with you

I'm in Tahoe, which I am slowly coming to associate, pavlovian-style, with intense work instead of fun vacations. When I packed this morning, my suitcase consisted almost entirely of loungewear (yoga tights, slippers, scarves, etc.), and I had to bring two extra totebags with paper, pens, markers, my portable keyboard and trackpad, more sweatshirts, books, etc., etc. Considering that almost all of my Tahoe trips in the past five years have been for writing retreats (either solo or in groups), it's no wonder I think that coming to the mountains = work instead of fun.

But that's fine with me - I do want to get back up here for a fun snowy break sometime this season, but it's MLK weekend, which means even if I wanted to do a ski lesson, the crowds would be prohibitive for my hermity heart. So I packed my stuff this morning and made it out the door by ten, and traffic was miraculously good (especially after last night's horrendous debacle getting to/from Berkeley) - I was expecting some early holiday rush, but I didn't hit any delays at all, and there was no line for lunch at the In-n-Out in Placerville.

So I got here a little after two, which was exactly when Barbara and her husband arrived. We hauled our stuff into the house and sat around until Bella and her family showed up, and then several of us went over to Safeway to stock up on groceries (and were amazed that Safeway was also relatively empty - something I trust will not be the case later in the weekend).

Then, I spent the rest of the afternoon working with Barbara and Bella; Bella's family is up here to ski, and Barbara's husband will somehow amuse himself, but we're working all weekend. All of that went well, but we hit a wall sometime around seven as we all got progressively hungrier waiting for our pizza to arrive (which took almost two hours from when we ordered, and they screwed up Bella's in the worst way possible (she had ordered gluten-free, cheese-free veggie and they brought a gluten-free meat-lovers with extra cheese instead - so I ate some of that, and they had to bring her a new pizza later)). So we finally ate, and then we sat around talking until almost ten.

But now, I really need to sleep so that I can be wildly productive tomorrow - goodnight!

i keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean

I was highly productive for most of the day, but then I had to drive to the east bay and it all went sideways...but I had fun while I was there, so I suppose I can forgive the absolute torture that was the drive...

But first, my day. It certainly started better than Alan Rickman's (too soon?), although I slept badly and had nightmares this morning for the first time in awhile. But I rallied and spent the morning working on a side project I've got going, while also doing laundry and prepping to leave for Tahoe tomorrow. I basically worked straight through until twoish, when I showered and got dressed and packed up some stuff, and then I thought I could drive to Berkeley and work for a couple more hours before my dinner plans.

And that was a good plan...except it took an hour and a half to drive to Berkeley, including forty-five fucking minutes to get to the base of the Bay Bridge from my apartment (a grand distance of three miles). I almost could have walked there in that amount of time. Granted, it was raining, which always makes traffic worse, but this was truly horrendous. So by the time I got to Berkeley, I only had an hour to work, but I was diligent and got through a bunch of stuff while drinking Philz (which was comped by a v. friendly cashier).

Then, I braved traffic again to meet John and Jess for dinner at Townhouse in Emeryville. I hadn't been to Townhouse in several years, but I had been wanting to go back, and John and Jess and I had made this plan a couple of weeks ago (before I had gone up for our impromptu Calistoga adventure last week). So we talked about work and life and raccoons and human feces, and it was all the usual good clean fun.

And then I drove home, and while it took far less time to get home than it took to get there, I'm totally wiped out and considering the bad move of going to bed super early and thinking I'll get everything done that I need to get done before leaving tomorrow morning (probably a foolish and unwise decision, but it might be the one I made). Goodnight!

okay you want me up in a cage, then i'll come out in beast mode

I have no patience for blogging tonight - I spent most of the day staring at screens, and most of the evening drinking/socializing, and most of the night reading, so I'd rather go to bed than type this. But I'll recap since you're eagerly awaiting this...

As I said, I spent most of the day staring at screens - I worked really diligently most of the morning, and then I took a break to get some pho (and I survived the walk through the Tenderloin there and back, so that's a good thing!). Then I took a nap to sleep off the pho coma. And then I stared at a screen nonstop for a few more hours, which was productive but also nausea-inducing, since I'm used to getting up and taking breaks more often than that.

But eventually (at 5pm), I had to stop, shower, and put on real people clothes (yes, getting dressed happened at 5pm, but in my defense I had switched out of pajamas at 8am and brushed my teeth and hair, so I wasn't totally slovenly). I met up with Jenni at Amelie - I hadn't seen her in over a year (since the night of my team's offsite in Half Moon Bay in November 2014, which I remembered even without looking back at the blog to figure it out). So, needless to say, we had a ton to catch up on, which was duly accomplished over two glasses of wine and some cheese and charcuterie. She seems to be doing well, and I was glad to hear all of her life updates, and I hope that we manage to see each other again a little more frequently than our last hiatus would indicate.

And then I came home, and I should have worked some more, but I wasn't feeling it, so I spent an hour and a half or so reading the first section of Elena Ferrante's "My Brilliant Friend", which has been getting acclaim in all sorts of circles and has been on my reading list for awhile. And now I'm going to sleep, hope that my dreams are happy, and get up ready to hit it hard in the morning - goodnight!

my mama don't like you and she likes everyone

(sidenote: my mama likes no one, so in this case, the title lyric has limited validity)

I was quite productive today, despite making a second trip to the south bay in two days and continuing to overdose on social activities. This morning was mostly consumed with tax stuff - I needed to get information to my CPA for making a January estimate, and that required digging through a bunch of stuff since I've been behind on my bookkeeping. But I got it off to her, and then I went to Samovar, where I ate some tasty toast with poached eggs and bacon. I also drank chai and wrote for an hour - my attempt to reconfigure Rafe and Octavia's story might actually work this time, but I don't want to jinx it.

Then I went to my salon, where I got my eyebrows waxed and tinted so I don't look like my granddad, and where I also got a facial since my skin was feeling wrecked after six weeks of travel - Denver did no favors to my hydration levels, and NYC/Healdsburg/the last week of socializing did no favors to my detoxing. Both of these services were accomplished with Amanda, whom I adore, and we had a lot to catch up on (she gave me a rundown of east bay neighborhoods, since she has lived there forever, and even gave me her phone number in case I want more info - but at the moment I'm thinking I need to hunker down and write for a few months and not think about blowing up my life quite so dramatically).

Then I drove to the glorious south bay, which I really didn't want to do, since I have so much work and so many social things on my calendar (this is a problem of my own making, I know). But I showered there, since I hadn't showered this morning, and then I went to Philz to work some more. But I was only at Philz for half an hour before Joann asked if I wanted to meet for dinner early, since she was starving and wanted to get out of her office. So I met her at Pacific Catch, which is where we were meeting the four other people for dinner, and we ordered a bottle of wine (it was half off all bottles tonight), and we waited, and caught up, and waited some more...

...and twenty minutes after the appointed meeting time, we were still the only people there. It's a sign of how bad traffic is in the bay area that we just thought this was normal, rather than wondering what had happened. But as it turns out, the restaurant had seated three of the other people at a different table on the other side of the restaurant, and so we'd all been waiting (and they ordered the same bottle of wine that we did).

Luckily, we figured it out, and then we caught up on all sorts of things. It was our semi-regular friendship renewal dinner (people who started at my old employer in 2003, which is a lifetime ago), and we hadn't had one in ages, so it was good to see everyone. Of course, I'd seen Joann and Jen more recently, and I see Jen the most now that she's working in SF, but it was lovely to see Tolu, Jane, and Lizzie. And they are all v. v. eager for me to write my spinster honeymoon book instead of a historical romance - so at least if Rafe and Octavia fuck me over again, I have a backup.

Eventually we all parted ways, and I drove back to the city of sin, and now I'm too tired to work - so I'm going to sleep and hope to hit it hard tomorrow, when I have no plans until 6pm (it's a new record!). Goodnight!

in every lost soul the bones of a miracle

Today was melancholy and bittersweet, and full of memories, and ultimately full of connection and happiness. I woke up this morning after nine hours of sleep, which was enough to restore me, but also enough to give me waking dreams for the last hour, none of which I wanted. But I got up and took care of a bunch of stuff around the house (mostly cleaning/dusting - it was so dusty after six weeks of neglecting the dusting that I couldn't bear to work from home until the dusting was done, so I did it at nine a.m. on a Monday like a crazy person). And then I showered, and did some planning for the week ahead.

But then I had to drive to the south bay to have lunch with my old boss - hence the melancholy, bittersweet memories. It has been eight months since I left work, and some things have changed completely and irrevocably, and some things haven't changed at all. For starters, I haven't finished my book, but you know that. But the old boss and I went to one of my least favorite cafes (Root), which has gotten strangely better (the carnitas tacos were actually delicious), and then grabbed coffee at Coffee Lab (writing there in the early mornings is one of the things I still truly miss, after having let go of most of the rest of it). Then we went back to our old building, where I spent a lot of quality time talking to Tom and Howell, and a little quality time talking to Tomas and Manuela and Ravi. Then, I absconded with Eugene and made him talk to me for half an hour in my car in the parking lot; he's the one who put a noisemaker in my car a year ago, so if anything happens to my car in the next few weeks, I'm blaming him.

Then, full of gossip and without anyone to tell it to, I left campus and drove myself back to the city. I'm truly happy that I left work, and truly don't regret that - but it's still bittersweet to see the old team. And Sriram (the old boss) gave me a Christmas present that he'd given to everyone else on the team (a nice metal water bottle + a card with pictures from their offsite), so it's almost like I never left...but of course I've been gone forever.

sssanyway. I got home, took care of a few more things around the house, and then walked two miles into the Mission and wrote at Ritual for an hour. This is a great place to write by hand, since they don't have wifi, and so I got an iced coffee for fall-of-Rome prices and wrote in my notebook for an hour. As I've said, I'm making a solid, last-ditch push this month on finishing Rafe and Octavia's book (before deciding whether to abandon it forever), and so I scribbled for an hour on what I want to change and what I've realized about it, and what makes the story feel alive vs. dead for me. Now that I've owned the decision to push forward, and now that I've owned what the book is about, there's a chance I could just drink whisky for the next three weeks and bang it all out in one long, emotional orgy of writing and drinking, but I think I'll take the non-Hemingway approach and try to write it sober instead. But we shall see.

I had to stop writing, though, to meet up with Can Sar (remember him?) at Foreign Cinema. We hadn't seen each other since Shedletsky's wedding a year and a half ago, so we were way overdue for a catch-up. This was duly accomplished over a delish dinner (I had risotto, into which they had snuck some kale, but it was so good that I forgave them; I also had two glasses of Banshee's pinot noir, which I'm glad I discovered during my epic Healdsburg adventure in December) - Can seems to be in fine form, and is reading books for like twelve hours a day, which leaves me in awe and also slightly jealous.

And then I took a lyft home, and then I had an impromptu phone call with Katie, who always makes my heart sing and my spirits soar. And now that I've connected with old coworkers and old friends and even older besties, it's time for me to sleep - I want to write tomorrow before commencing my social whirl, and I also have some business to take care of, so sleep is imperative. Goodnight!

i want you by my side

I'm hitting my introvert wall, but today was great - and I think I can keep pushing through the next few days of social whirl if I go to bed as soon as I finish writing this. I think I've stayed up until at least one a.m. every night since I got back from Iowa, and this was the first night that I didn't drink anything, so hopefully I'll feel more refreshed tomorrow.

But you don't care about tomorrow - you are here for today's recap (okay, maybe you're here because you're bored).

I dragged myself out of bed this morning and drove over to the dirty east bay - I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you that I've been considering moving to Berkeley. Yes, this is a total jhoke on my face, since I've hated on Berkeley for the last fifteen years. But in December, when I was mostly extremely blocked and angry and unable to write, I was thinking that maybe moving would help (although then I was thinking I would put my stuff in storage and go totally nomad). And then, later in December, when I'd gotten some quiet solace in Iowa, I was thinking that maybe I still wanted to live in the bay area, but that I wanted to live somewhere with more space and more peaceful surroundings.

And so today, I went over to Berkeley to spend some time wandering around the Berkeley Hills - I was looking at both the hills and at North Berkeley, and decided to check out the hills first. This was a good thing; as soon as I saw the hills, I realized I wanted no part in living in them. The area is super peaceful and gorgeous, and there are some awesome walking paths that cut through the hills so you don't have to drive or walk on sidewalks. But the hills are really steep, and it seems highly unlikely that I would ever walk down (or, more likely, back up) them to go to a coffee shop or something. Also, the steepness gives me some serious concerns about landslides, especially since they're right on top of the Hayward fault, which could go off at any moment.

Anyway, I wandered around the hills and the Solano shopping/restaurant strip, and I had lunch, and I bought a book at a bookstore, and it was a nice morning (even if it proved that I don't ever want to go there again). Then I rendezvoused with John and Jess for a v. brief conversation, which was delightful.

But after that, I'm going to put moving thoughts on hiatus for a little bit - I really, really am feeling like writing again, for the first time in forever, and I should strike while that iron is hot rather than obsessing over whether I want to move and where. And I actually like my apartment - it's the crackheads that are a problem, and if I'm holing up and writing and ordering food in to support myself, the crackheads are less of a problem (until I become one).

sssanyway again. I came home in time to have my usual Sunday afternoon call with my parents, who were in fine form. Then I did some stuff around the house, and then I picked up Chandlord, and then we went to the Sunset to have family dinner at Enjoy Vegetarian. There was a pretty long line for the first time in the many times I've been there, and since there were seven of us (plus a baby), we had to wait awhile. But it was worth it, I think.

It was kind of the usual suspects - Omar is in town, so he had organized it, which meant we ended up with Adit, Priyanka, Chandlord, Katrina, and Raja. This group tends to be ridiculous, and we somehow got the waitress (Rachel, whose English is somewhat imperfect) to start saying 'boom' after serving us, so that was exciting.

We also did our usual 'recap your day' conversation, although we turned it into 'weekend update' and put a time limit on it (two minutes to recap, three minutes for the audience to ask follow-up questions). It turns out it's really hard to keep from asking follow-up questions, and we were all trying desperately to remember them - but this kept the conversation from getting bogged down in a play-by-play of Raja's internet browsing as it usually does, so I think this was a good thing. Or maybe it was a bad thing, since Raja can entertain you for forty-five minutes by telling you everything he did on a day in which he didn't leave the house (as discovered at a previous family dinner).

But everyone's updates were mostly enjoyable, mostly informative, and clearly only hinting at many things going on beneath the surface, which was v. entertaining. Also, many of us had overlapped with each other at various points in the weekend, so hearing those overlap points from others was interesting. Anyway, this game probably isn't the game that most people play when having dinner with friends, but I quite enjoyed it.

Eventually, though, Adit and Priyanka had to leave to feed Vihaan (who cannot enjoy vegetarian yet, but he hung out in his carrier for the duration of dinner with minimal fussing), and the rest of us sat around for a bit longer and continued the ridiculousness before parting ways. Then I gave Chandlord a ride home, and I really really hope she hasn't given me the cold she has (which she may have given me yesterday, before she knew she was sick).

And now you know it all, and I must sleep and hope to recover from hitting the introvert wall so that I can write in the morning before attempting extroversion again. Goodnight!

you used to call me on my cell phone, late night when you need my love

My extreme social schedule continues unabated, and I may crash by the end of it - but today was super fun. Of course, it started off in a slightly surly manner since I had four glasses of wine last night with John (whom I should perhaps introduce as someone who is generally in my friend circle, although it's confusing to introduce yet another John to the blog mix; we were trying to organize karaoke last night but the other people bailed, so we held to the drinking portion of the wine and karaoke evening), and also a lot of sugar, which made for a mildly unpleasant morning (my liver is still weeping for its easy vacation days in Iowa, but I'm whipping it back into shape).

But I got out of bed and through my morning routine in time to meet Lauren (aka Subz) for a quick brunch in her neighborhood. She seems good, but I've got to say our conversation didn't sell me on the idea of motherhood. Still, it was great to see her even though we only had an hour (again, not sold on motherhood), and hopefully I'll be in town again someday when she can get an hour away from zee baby.

Then I came home and was considering doing some epic cleaning of the apartment when Vidya (aka Chandlord) came over, shouted 'Ellis Act!' as she walked through the door, and proceeded to make me cry. That's actually all true, although perhaps those events were unrelated. But I made her some chai, and she curled up in my freshly-made bed, and we talked about all manner of things, and it was lovely (or lowely, as she would say). Then I gave her a ride to Castro Theatre, and came home and had an hour of solitude...

And then I drove to the glorious south bay to have dinner with Joann and Jen in San Mateo. You may remember Joann from my spinster honeymoon, and I continue to feel like I need to write that book someday. The three of us never catch up on weekends, but now we feel like we should only do this on weekends - it was nice to be leisurely about it, and I feel like we talked about work less, which may be because we weren't all coming straight from our jobs.

So we had dinner at Central Park Bistro; I had scallops with risotto, which was delicious, and then we split a couple of desserts. When we were finally done there, we adjourned to Grape + Grain, which was a wine/beer bar, where we watched a nasty head tackle during the end of the Steelers/Bengals game, and then promptly forgot all about it and continued to catch up in a delightful and dramatic fashion. We ended up staying there until after eleven, which is not soooo late...but we're all old, and we'd met at 6:30, and we all still had to drive home to our respective locations (San Mateo was kind of the midpoint for me and Joann), so we parted ways abruptly.

And then I came home, and now I need to sleep - I'm similarly overextended for the next few days, which means I need to get some actual work done tomorrow (and I'm weirdly excited to do it, so I should seize that momentum). Goodnight!