world music

I worked from home today, which was lovely because of the lack of commute even if I felt rather slothful. I laid in bed much later than planned rather than getting up and writing, and then I wasn't a perfect paragon of productivity, but I'm trying to get better about celebrating what I have achieved rather than bemoaning what I haven't. Yes, you've heard that before, and yes, I'm going to try again even though it seems to go completely against my protestant work ethic. And at least I'm up to date on the royal visit to New Zealand, so that's a big win.

I wrapped up work for the time being around five and hung out with Terry, who was home earlier than usual. Then I abandoned her and went to Des Amis, where a steak (which was not the healthier chicken salad I'd planned to have) and some time writing in my notebook helped to restore me. Then I came home, painted my nails, and worked on day job stuff for the last hour. And now I must go to sleep and hope that Alyssa's workout tomorrow is lovely and not murderous. Goodnight!

we be all night

I'm trying to get back into this writing thing, but I wasn't totally successful today. However, I was eminently successful at working out with Alyssa; she had me try deadlifting a barbell for the first time (we've been doing lifts with kettlebells but not barbells), and I was able to deadlift 175lbs, which both of us found rather surprising. She'd started with ninety or so and that was totally easy, so she kept increasing the weights to find my max, and 175 is where I was still able to lift it before my grip started to fail me. So she dropped me back to 135 and we did some reps there to work on my form. But being able to lift more than my body weight without doing a significant amount of training first is a testament to my strong peasant stock, I think - my Mayflower ancestor was probably a total pansy, but zee Germans have served me well.

Of course, now my back is sore and I expect that my hands will start bleeding at some point in this deadlifting odyssey, since my hands are really a little too small for any normal adult activities that require gripping things (yes, I realize that sentence could be misconstrued). But the workout was really good, and I went back to work feeling reenergized. Then I spent the afternoon sitting in meetings, which were all fine. And I cleared out around 5:30 with the intention of writing for an hour before dinner, but I mostly just stared at the first few chapters and made minor tweaks.

But I met up with Joann, Tolu and Jane for our semiregular friendship renewal dinner; it's pretty amazing that we've kept it going for so many years, and it's always fun to see them and hear about what's going on with life and work. We ate at Pacific Catch, which just went into the San Antonio Shopping Center - San Antonio used to be a total shithole, but they've put in $2800/month studios and some restaurants and the nicest Starbucks I've ever been too, so it's clear that even Mountain View is getting too pricey for most people. However, dinner was tasty and the company was great, and I don't really mourn the loss of the dilapidated Sears, so I suppose Mountain View will survive.

And now I must sleep, since I have grand plans to write in the morning before work - goodnight!

lights down you up and die

I should have gone to bed thirty minutes ago, but I needed some mindless internet browsing, which was accomplished while lying in bed with a masque on my face and the fan going to ward off the unusually warm San Francisco evening. Today was mostly good; I woke up at 6:30 with the intention of writing, but I didn't really get down to writing until eight since I showered and procrastinated beforehand. But I wrote for an hour before it was time for my first meeting of the day, so that was good. Then I took my meeting, ate some breakfast, and went to the glorious south bay for the rest of the day. I had lunch with Alyssa, since she wanted to discuss my goals somewhere other than the gym. Then I had meetings straight from 12:30 to 5, which was sad.

But I left at five and the drive only took an hour, so that was perfect - and it meant that I could write for an hour at a coffeeshop before going to dinner. Thus feeling accomplished, I picked up a prescription, put gas in my car, and made it to Presidio Social Club in time for dinner with Lauren and Terry (aka Subz and Terry). It was great to catch up with both of them, and my steak was particularly restorative, so that was all good.

And now I must sleep; I was going to try to write again tomorrow morning, but on second thought I think I'll sleep eight hours and do my writing between work and dinner tomorrow night. Goodnight!

say no more, get on the floor

I'm tempted to stay up and work for another two or three hours, but that's the devil whispering in my ear, so I'm going to go to bed instead. Today was lovely and mostly productive; I woke up early, feeling slightly like death (thanks for nothing, whisky sours), and took care of some tings online before putting on some clothes and going to eat some v. restorative huevos rancheros. Then I went to Beacon to meet up with Kathia. I got in two solid hours of writing and think I had a breakthrough (thanks to five minutes of talking to Kathia), so that was perfect. Then we walked home together while enjoying the abundant sunshine. When I got here, I cleaned my room (which mostly meant folding and hanging a ton of clothes), ate a snack, and called my parents. Then I worked on stuff for an hour or two; I had some day job stuff that I had to do tonight, so that was a bummer, but I'm done now.

By seven I really just wanted to curl into bed with a book (or keep working, who am I kidding), but instead I stuck to my plan and had family dinner with Katrina, Adit, and Priyanka. We went out for Chinese and I had perhaps the blandest thing ever; I'm trying to be better about avoiding known sources of gluten, which means soy sauce, which means just about all Chinese is suspect at best. So I had steamed chicken and vegetables, which was just sad. But the company was entertaining, as per usual. And now I must sleep so that I can write and slog (and write and slog some more) tomorrow - goodnight!

all your perfect imperfections

So I kind of, sort of, almost took today off. This was pretty necessary, given that I seem to have developed an allergy to looking at a screen; the two times that I spent more than 30mins on my laptop today made me feel incredibly exhausted, but I'm hoping that that reaction is temporary. I woke up at 6:15 and decided to start working because I'm an idiot, but after an hour of doing rote bookkeeping work, I was tired enough to go back to bed for awhile. Then I got up, put on some clothes, ate some leftover steak while talking to Terry, and went downtown to have coffee with Heather (aka dear respected madam) before she got a facial and hair cut at my salon (yes, I convinced her to start going there, and they should probably pay me for it because she spends just as much on overpriced beauty products as I do). I hadn't seen her in six weeks, which is pretty much criminal, and so while we caught up on the basics, I'm hoping we can get together again soon so we can move beyond my jury duty/endoscopy and her work/life issues.

After she went to keep her beauty appointments, I had originally planned to be a good little Puritan and buy groceries before working all afternoon (although I suppose a good little Puritan would have spent the day curing maize in lye to make hominy, so I shouldn't act so saintly). Instead, I decided to fuck work and go shopping. This proved to be a relaxing, albeit financially imprudent, decision. I hit Nordstrom pretty hard, scoring an awesome top + sweater, a couple of dresses, a pair of jeans, and two pairs of shoes. I also bought a new watch, which was completely unnecessary and yet totally necessary.

But all things must end, even the glorious feeling of complete freedom. So I left the mall and met up with Kathia to write for an hour, which resulted in me writing three pages and then deleting two of them. Stupid. Also, writing (or the caffeine I ingested with it) gave me a massive headache and totally killed my post-acquisition buzz. So I came home, showered, dried my hair, put on my new top (yay), and dragged Terry out to hang out with John, Jess, Adit, and Priyanka.

The group was just the same as always, which only surprised the people who think that individuals are capable of change (that would not be me, obvi, given that I tend to think most people's natures are set in stone). Terry and I went to John and Jess's first, where we drank whisky sours while I tried to negotiate a dinner settlement that met our desire to eat promptly and also met Adit/Priyanka's desire to eat fashionably (note: we won). Then we had a lovely dinner, followed by an inexplicable couple of drinks at the 500 Club. And now I must sleep; while today's day off was fantastic, I can't take tomorrow off or I deserve to be strung up by the thumbs and horsewhipped. Goodnight!

lately i been i been losing sleep

I worked from home today, which was v. welcome since it meant I could sleep until 7:30, but it was still a long and brutal slog. But I got through a lot of stuff (although there are a couple of things I have to do this weekend), and I am happy about the stuff that I got through, so that's all good. And I shut my laptop with a definitive slam around five p.m., made myself a mojito, and enjoyed it in the bathtub (yes, I ran a bath; no, I didn't sit fully-clothed in the bathtub with a glass of rum, as tempting as that sounds). I was determined to relax tonight, which was pretty much forced on me anyway since I'm too tired to think of anything Thorington-related (or much of anything else, for that matter).

After my bath, I made myself some delicious eggs to go with last night's leftover steak, and I enjoyed it while talking to Terry. Then I came upstairs, painted my nails, played on my phone, and started reading THE DISCOVERY OF FRANCE, which is a fascinating bit of nonfiction - it's all about rural France from Louis XIV to World War I, and how crazy and unmapped and desolate and populated the various areas were. I'm only a couple of chapters in, but so far so good, and clearly this is exactly how any hip, hot thirty-something should spend Friday night in the metropolis.

And on that note, I'm going to find out more about what those peasants were up to in the 1600s, and then I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight!

we're gonna rattle this ghost town

I am attempting to embrace a calmer, less angry state - or, as I told someone at work, I'm getting off of the 'rage plane' that I had gotten onto last week, when I had transcended anger and entered some entirely different state of being that was mostly pure rage. Part of this is an attempt to remember all of the things I've learned and self-awareness I've gained over the last decade; part is sheer exhaustion with the idea of being enraged; and part is some sort of smug satisfaction over being the first person in my general vicinity at work to get out of the rage plane. Yes, that's not a very healthy or charitable response. But I'll take what I can get; I am much more productive and generally better able to help others and move things forward for my own nefarious ends when I'm not enraged, so that's an admirable goal.

sssanyway, I went to Palo Alto this morning and trained with Alyssa, but our workout wasn't particularly intense because I was so sore from Tuesday and generally unable to recover that she took it easy on me. Then I went to work, took a meeting, showered (you can see that those were in a rather unfortunate order, so it's good that Alyssa went easy on me so that I didn't end up stinky), worked, had lunch (fish tacos, sans taco), and had meetings until fiveish. Then I did a bit of work, left at six, and somehow managed to keep from stabbing myself in the eyeball during the ninety minutes it took to get home. When I got here, I should have either gone to Jess's musical recital or gone out for drinks with someone I recently befriended, but I was thirty minutes late already for the musical thing and the new friend socializing didn't seem soothing enough for my exhausted state (being calm and holier-than-thou takes soooo much energy). So I had dinner with Terry instead, which involved steak and wine (can you guess where we went?). And now I must sleep; I'm working from home tomorrow so that I can get a lot of stuff done and also end at four p.m. so that I can write. Goodnight!

disinfect the scene

I had a v. long, v. productive day. I laid around for far longer than I intended this morning, since my brain simply wasn't having the idea of getting up and writing. But I finally got up, showered, ate some toast, and caught a shuttle to work, and I took my personal laptop with me so I could write on the bus since I wasn't able to write at home. Thus feeling somewhat productive with the story, I got to campus and slogged brutally the rest of the day, in between bouts of walking between buildings lugging two laptops in my backpack. Luckily, one of my meetings was canceled, and so I was able to get a coffee that likely saved my life.

I peaced out around 5:30, dozed a bit on the shuttle, and spent the last thirty minutes of the ride wrapping stuff up for work. Then I went straight to Nectar, where I wrote five pages over a glass of wine and some burrata. I was eventually discovered by Kathia, whom I hadn't seen in nearly two weeks (shocking and unacceptable), and so we had dinner and caught up at Izzy's. But I was so tired and braindead that I'm afraid I wasn't very good company - yes, woe is me. Then I debated getting a cab, but instead I forced myself to walk the eight blocks home. And now I am desperate for sleep; I have to train with Alyssa tomorrow before doing all of this again, so some kind of sleep recovery is vital. Goodnight!

oh girl you stand by me

Today was another v. long, entirely work-filled day. I woke up at 6:30 and wrote for an hour before my eight a.m. meeting, so at least I snuck in some progress for Thorington. Then I had meetings from eight to ten at home, then sped down to Palo Alto and trained with Alyssa, then grabbed a quick shower, and then had lunch and coffee with John at our place of work. I ate lentils, which is v. unusual for me, but the coffee (New Orleans-style iced coffee with chicory and milk) was to die for. Then I had meetings from two to five, followed by what was supposed to be some work time but instead turned into a two and a half hour powwow with someone I work with (good, but exhausting since I was starving and rapidly decaffeinated). Then I drove home, ate the pizza Terry had ordered while watching some tv with her, and then did some more work for the last half hour.

Tomorrow promises to be more of the same - I'm going to try to get up and write before work, but I have to slog brutally the rest of the day. Boo. Goodnight!

all my tears have been used up

I'm far too tired to blog; I had hoped to relax when I got home, after doing one wee tiny thing that should have only taken ten minutes...and instead I spent the last two hours working on day job stuff, which means I'm either going to have to sacrifice sleep or writing time in the morning. I got up early this morning and made it into the office by 8:30ish, giving myself enough time to dry my hair there and eat breakfast before my meetings began. So I slogged from nine until six, then adjourned to a coffee shop to write for an hour while waiting for the commute to die down. I succeeded in writing four pages of Thorington's story, and then I sped home, ate some leftover chili, and slogged on day job stuff for another couple of hours.

And now that I've committed this unsustainable schedule to the blog for posterity, I'm going to go to bed so that I can do it all again tomorrow - goodnight!

i know how it looks but all that glitters ain't gold

Today was quite all right, if you like being a hermit. I slept later than planned but just as much as needed, messed around on the internet for awhile, and then ate some breakfast and walked over to Fort Mason to work for a couple of hours. I got six pages of Thorington's book - not an epic output, but I like what I wrote and I'm slowly getting back into the story proper, so I'll take it. Then I came home, took a shower, and was going to go to the park, but it was cold and turning dreary, so I canceled and ate a late lunch instead. Then I bought groceries, came home, talked to the parents, played on the internet, made chili for supper, and talked to Terry.

Now, though, I must sleep; I'm determined to be less angry this week than I was last week, which may be an exercise in complete futility. But I think it will help if I disengage a bit and stay true to my plan of working from home a couple of days this week and doing some writing in the mornings - so if I don't say that I worked from home and wrote in the morning a couple of days this week, please shoot me. Goodnight!

the time has come to push the button

I'm working my way into a much better place with Callie and Thorington, and I even took some time to relax today, so that's all v. surprising. I woke up at some relatively early (for me) hour, had brunch, came home, did some bookkeeping and housekeeping stuff, and then wasted time and messed around on the internet for longer than I had intended. I also wrote in my journal, so that's something, but I was having trouble focusing at home. So I walked over to Rapha, where I drank an iced latte and contemplated Callie and Thorington for quite some time. It was still slow going, so I adjourned to Des Amis, where a couple of glasses of wine and some delightful conversation with all the people I now know there helped to lubricate the words. So I wrote 5-7 pages of background stuff about Callie's family, and I think I may have finally figured out what I needed to figure out in order to move the story forward more satisfactorily.

The Puritanical part of me tried to force myself to come home and answer email or do business stuff or try to write, but the part of me that is attempting to be sane instead put on my nightgown and crawled into bed with a historical mystery novel. SHOCKING, I KNOW. Even more shocking, the part of me that is trying to be sane put it down at the start of chapter ten, rather than letting me stay up until one a.m. to finish it and thus wrecking myself for the morning. I may not be very good at this relaxing business, but when I try I occasionally succeed. And now I'm going to go to bed and pray that I can write an actual scene of the book tomorrow - wish me luck. Goodnight!

oats in the water

I am inexpressibly glad to not have to go to work for the next two days...until I remember that I need to write a book this weekend, which doesn't make for particularly relaxing contemplation. Today was productive, if nothing else; I only had two meetings, which meant I was able to get through the 400+ emails that had been lingering in my inbox for days (er, weeks). And I met up for a chat with the big boss (remember her?), since we hadn't caught up in a year or so and I was feeling long overdue for some catch-up. She was in fine form, and I left feeling happy even if it made me miss working for her all over again.

After that, I abandoned the office, picked up John, and took him back to the city as a carpool buddy/involuntarily sounding board for all of my woes. Then I got my bangs trimmed and my brows waxed. And then I came home, laid in bed for awhile because I was burned out on talking, and then had sushi with Terry, during which we discussed a wide variety of tings and may have fixed Thorington's plot. And now I must go to bed - goodnight!

give me something to break

[editor's note: this was supposed to publish last night, but for some reason it didn't] Today was a long day, but it wasn't nearly as infuriating as yesterday, so I suppose that's something. I had hoped that yesterday would be a red-letter day - I was feeling v. relaxed after a couple of days of sedation/lying around in bed, and I hadn't read any work email or thought of anything particularly stressful. Instead, something chipped my windshield on the way to work, it rained the whole way and traffic was bad, I didn't final in the RITA awards, and my team unleashed two massive firedrills on me as soon as I walked in the door. And I had to stick around and have dinner last night, which meant I didn't get home until ten p.m., which only gave me eight hours before I had to turn around and do it all over again.

But today was better and brighter, and I ended it at Fiesta del Mar, so that's always lovely. And then I came home and worked for an hour and a half, which was unfortunate. But now I'm going to try to get eightish hours of sleep so that I can be more on top of my game tomorrow - goodnight!

the day the music died

No blog tonight - I had a brutal return to work, followed by a team dinner, followed by driving people home, so I'm totally wiped out on talking. Goodnight!

mrs. potter's lullaby

I was so good and rested so much today - and then I torpedoed it all by deciding to work on my taxes for the last four hours. Oops. But I'm done, and I have a new bookkeeping system set up so that it isn't so painful going forward and so that I can more accurately track my profits and project expenditures (and remind myself that the vast majority of what I spend on promo is a waste). And I painted my fingernails and toenails, so that's something. And my throat isn't hurting very much, and I don't seem to have any internal or external bleeding, so I think I'm cleared to go back to work tomorrow.

The rest of my day was mostly spent in quiet reflection. This was precipitated by the fact that I had to get blood work this morning, so I slept late to help avoid the intolerable hunger of fasting until 10:30am. I took a taxi to the lab since I wasn't sure I should drive yet and got the bloodwork done (I felt massive trepidation when the phlebotomist introduced herself as a student, but she's graduating on Friday and got a vein on the first try, so even though she had to take six vials it wasn't as bad as yesterday). Then I had a late breakfast nearby, which proved to be v. tasty. Then, in some false economizing, I took the bus home to make up for my uber over there. Then I laid in bed all afternoon and napped/dozed/messed around on the internet. But by six I was totally stir crazy and my Puritanical roots were berating me - so I worked tonight, and I'm getting up early to go into the office and get some stuff done tomorrow.

But hopefully my gluten odyssey is over, and may I never succumb to that siren's evil allure again. Goodnight!

dance to the beat that we like best

You will (hopefully) be happy to hear that I survived my endoscopy today without complications. The only unfortunate factor was that they had to try three times to get an IV going, which was a more annoying process than anything they did while shoving a tube down my throat (but then, I was asleep while they did that, so maybe that was annoying too and they just didn't tell me). But it was all relatively straightforward. And now I never have to eat gluten again, which is v. exciting. They didn't seem to find immediate indications of celiac disease, but they took a tissue sample to test for it, so I'll find out in a couple of weeks exactly what's going on.

So anyway, I woke up pretty quickly, joked around with the attendant, and was released into Terry's tender care. I briefly considered throwing up on her, but I was able to hold it in despite the combination of anesthetic and carsickness (and anyway I probably would have failed in my mission since my stomach was empty). I spent the rest of the day recovering at home - you'll be proud to note that I didn't do any work for the day job, nor did I do any writing, and instead I dozed, napped, read, watched tv, and ate ice cream and takeout.

And now I must go to bed; I'm staying home tomorrow to finish recovering, and I have high hopes that I'll get a million hours of sleep and generally start feeling better as soon as I start coming out of my gluten coma. Goodnight!

they tried to make me go to rehab

Today was lovely, and might have even counted as a day off had I not spent several hours inputting receipts into Quickbooks so that I can send my tax info to my CPA. Yes, I realize that means it wasn't a day off at all. But I didn't write or do anything for the day job, and I watched basketball all day, so I'm going to count it.

I slept in this morning, then took a quick shower, went down the street to get a sandwich, and watched the second half of the Stanford/Kansas game, which was OMG amazing. Terry and I even opened a bottle of champagne after to celebrate. Then I talked to my mom, watched some more basketball, and talked to my dad before the Iowa State/North Carolina game. I couldn't handle watching it all without any distraction at all, so I worked on my taxes from two to seven while watching basketball (and having more champagne when ISU pulled it out).

But by seven I was desperate for a break, so I conned Terry into going to my favorite French place, where we hung out with my favorite manager dude (who has instructed them all to open my favorite bottle of wine whenever I want it by the glass even though it's no longer on the by-the-glass menu). And they gave us steak tartare, which Terry wasn't able to take advantage of, so I ate it for her. And Terry somehow got Todd to try to convince me to do a Soulcycle class with them, which sounds like a horrible idea, but we shall see.

And now, alas, I must sleep; I'm going to get up at 4:45ish to have a snack and some water before going back to sleep for awhile, since I can't eat anything for six hours before this endoscopy thing at noon. Boo. Needless to say, I'm taking tomorrow off; it's a sign of how stupid and crazy I am that I'm almost looking forward to this as a day off, when in reality I must be forcibly sedated in order to take a break. Stupid. And on that note, it's time for bed!

everybody wants a thrill

I continue to slip deeper into my gluten coma, but I managed to eke out a decently fun/productive day, so yay for that. I woke up earlier than I wanted to after sleeping less well than I had hoped, and I threw on some pants and met Kathia at Rapha for a writing date. I have so much to do for Thorington that I can't even contemplate it - and so I mostly spent the time there not contemplating it, which, as you can imagine, is not particularly good for productivity. Terry met us there as well, and so we all worked for a bit. But Kathia had to leave, and then I threw in the towel, and Terry wasn't going to leave me to wallow in my own despair. So we went out for brunch and caught up, which was v. lovely and overdue.

And then I came home, thought about writing, and instead spent the afternoon reorganizing my room, talking to my mom, [censored] to [censored], and doing some financial tracking stuff. I would have happily entered expenses all night, but instead I took a nap (see: gluten coma), took a shower, and picked up Adit so that we could go to the glorious south bay for Peder (aka Timmy Timer's) birthday party. It turned out to be totally delicious; we went to Terun, which is a relatively new establishment on California Ave, and the food was pretty much perfect (even if I ate veal ravioli to get my gluten count up for the day). The company was lovely as well, although I didn't get as lubricated as some of them did since I was driving. But eventually they adjourned to the Nuthouse, which Adit and I weren't interested in, so we came back to the evil city, where I'm sure he's making plans to go out to all the many parties he's been invited to. But I find it more appealing to curl up in bed and hope that my sleep lasts until it's all better. Goodnight!

honeymoon in beirut

Today was another long day with a brutal start, but it ended on a high note. I had to be in the office by 8:30 for this presentation thing, so I left home at seven just in case, and made it there without incident (other than almost dying in a car accident, but I swerved in time). Perhaps that adrenaline rush was just what I needed to get through the preso, which went much better than I expected (but as well as I deserved after this week of pain). After that, I had some more meetings, sent some more emails, got a latte, ate a salad, and peaced out around 1:30 to come back to the evil city before the even more evil traffic thwarted me. Then I worked a bit more before getting a facial, which was v. necessary for both my gluten-inflamed skin and for my general relaxing and well-being.

Post-facial, I came home, messed around on the internet, and took a nap. Then, I rallied against my better judgment and had dinner at the Presidio Social Club with Lauren (aka Subz), Nathan, Kathia, Jerry, Terry, and Sumir. It turned out to be a v. entertaining and lively group, and I think that Subz and Kathia could be dangerous together (especially for my liver, provided that I am still allowed to drink alcohol after whatever the doctor finds with the endoscopy on Monday). We discussed many and varied things, including a lot of words beginning with 'pin', and a great time was had by all.

Sadly, though, I must go to sleep and hope that the memory of the last nine hours of relaxing is enough to sustain me through the weekend, since I have to write all day tomorrow. Goodnight!

all of the lights

Today was almost worse than yesterday, but I got to spend the last four hours of it sitting on my own couch, so at least that was a victory. I got up in a daze, drove down to train with Alyssa, and discovered that I had forgotten my gym bag for the first time ever, so I couldn't shower or change into real clothes after my workout. So, rocking a sporty (aka sweaty) look, I went to the office and slogged viciously and brutally until fourish. Luckily I got to take a break to have In-and-Out to celebrate one of my teammates becoming an American citizen, and sitting in the sun outside of In-and-Out was exactly what I needed at that moment (other than tequila, which is what I really needed).

But my boss and I were both totally done (mentally, not actually) at four, so I left and spent almost two hours driving home (boo). Then I ordered a pizza and cranked through three hours of work for the day job. Then I spent my 'break' taking out my contacts, prepping my tea for tomorrow, and painting my nails. And now I must sleep; the presentation I've been working on is at 8:30am tomorrow, and I'll be v. glad when it's over so I can move on with my life. Goodnight!

we used to play outside when we were young

I had a pretty miserable day at work on top of what's been a miserable week at work, and now I'm only going to get seven hours of sleep when my gluten belly really needs nine. So, you're getting this blog so you know I'm alive...but that's all you're getting until tomorrow, when I hope that I will be in a better and more loquacious mood. Goodnight!

not giving in

Today was lovely, albeit too busy, and I must go to bed immediately if I'm going to recover in time for tomorrow. I spent altogether too long on the shuttle this morning, spent an hour putting out fires at the office, and then trained with Alyssa, who caused a much smaller bruise on my wrist than the last time we tried kettlebell cleans, so I guess I'm improving. Then I rushed through my shower and hied my wet hair over to lunch with Chandlord and John, which was totally delightful. It's so odd that we all work at the same place, and even odder that the place's amenities keep improving. So we had a delicious lunch at a new cafe, followed by lattes and macchiatos at a new coffee bar, followed by altogether unnecessary juice at the juice bar. But we had to return to work, which is the downside of hanging out at work, and so we parted ways and I returned to putting out fires the rest of the afternoon.

But I left at 5:40 to go home, and spent another annoying amount of time driving back to the city. Then I went to my favorite French place and worked on my taxes for two hours, since I'm seeing my CPA tomorrow. And now I am desperate for sleep - the end of this gluten binge can't come fast enough. Goodnight!

salaam namaste

I continue to be totally felled by this gluten thing, but I've only got to survive another week-ish before I can move on with my life, so I think I'll make it. Today was somewhat an exercise in frustration; I went to Mountain View almost entirely for a meeting that was later canceled, and the main project I'm working on currently brings me no joy. But I like the people I work with, which I realize is better than what most people can say about their jobs, so at least there's that. And I took a break in the afternoon to walk to a nearby coffee bar and get a free latte, which is also more than most people can say about their jobs, so that was good too.

After my last meeting, I peaced out, took the shuttle back to the evil city, and sat at Nectar for an hour and a half nursing a glass of wine and quietly freaking out about Thorington. I'm stuck until I hear back from my editor, which should be any day now, and yet I don't want to completely abandon the story while waiting for her because I know from bitter past experience that it's very hard to get back into it once I've taken a break. So I messed around for awhile, and then Kathia showed up and told me to work on the next book, which was actually a helpful suggestion. But I parted ways with her and the story half an hour later so that I could have dinner with Lauren (aka Subz) and Terry. It was v. lovely to see them both, even if Alyssa won't be happy when she sees pictures of the two margaritas I had after my glass of wine -- oops.

But now I'm desperate for sleep - this is the latest I've stayed up in awhile, and I need to get myself together and go south in the morning, so wish me luck. Goodnight!

clap along if you feel like a room without a roof

I took today off. Shocking, I know. Since I didn't set my alarm and my body seems to be slowly succumbing to gluten coma, I slept for ten hours, which I suppose must have been necessary even though it felt totally ridiculous. Then I lazed about in bed, made some eggs to go with my reheated steak/fries from the other night at Des Amis, and enjoyed my perfectly all-American breakfast.

I spent the afternoon in a similarly lazy state of mind; I did a couple of quick email-related things, then walked down to the grocery store to get some tings to eat for the coming week. I called my parents earlier than usual so that I could avoid Selection Sunday, but since my dad answered first, it threw off the timings, and so my mother was forced to talk to me while watching the brackets get filled out. The Cyclones seemed to have done well, though, so hopefully the do okay in the tournament.

After talking to the parents, Terry and I made daiquiris and sat on the roof for awhile, which was perfectly lovely - it was just a little windier than I would have liked, but that kept me from roasting alive, so I suppose it was a good thing. The fog kept trying to encroach but never quite made it, so it was a v. relaxing couple of hours. Then I did about half an hour of tax-related stuff before going over to My Tofu House for family dinner with Adit, Priyanka, Katrina, Chandlord, and Sumeet (not an OG member of the family but Adit seems to have adopted him). Since the wind had picked up the line was crazy long and it took over an hour to be seated, but we managed to stay entertaining while waiting. Then we discussed all manner of things over dinner, and many good jhokes were made. And I felt Adit's teeth, so that was a highlight.

But now I desperately need to sleep; I was supposed to get up and go down early, but given my general state of exhaustion I'm now going to sleep later, take my first two meetings from home, and go down at ten. This seems like a better, albeit lazier, plan. Goodnight!

all of the lights

Thorington and I are not friends right now.

That would probably suffice as a blog post, actually, since it tells you all you need to know about my day without getting into the mundanities of it. I wasn't feeling well and continue to need way too much sleep, so I slept until 8:30 or so, messed around online, and went out to grab food. I was going to write somewhere outside the house, but I took one look at Union Street and all the young things dressed in green and getting drunk for St Patrick's Day, and it made me wish that I had brought my Ides of March-style knife rage out to kill them all. But since I don't want to go to prison for killing bros (or for anything else, for that matter), I decided to retreat to my room and contemplate Thorington in solitude rather than in the midst of a massive pub crawl.

But Thorington was not cooperating, nor was my brain excited by the tasks at hand, so I did some desultory bookkeeping-type stuff and kept procrastinating. I left the house once to mail some stuff and buy flowers, and then I left another time to buy a croissant for my daily gluten intake, and both times made me feel temporarily better but didn't get me totally back in the game. Finally, I met Kathia at Nectar, where we commiserated over how much pain we're both in, and I was able to write up what I needed to write up to send to my editor tonight.

She left around 7:30, and then I worked until Terry showed up at 8:15 for my 'vacation' (which is a v. sad, v. sobering way of saying I took two hours off-off today) (and the fact that I call it 'off-off' instead of 'off', as though I need to designate when I'm really not working vs. when I'm pretending to not be working, is probably worrisome). So I had another glass of wine with her and we caught up on all the usual subjects after several days of not really seeing each other. Then we came home, I did a bit of work to clean up what I needed to send to my editor, and I got it off to her a few minutes ago. That means I can sleep as much as I want tonight without feeling guilty, and I think I'll do some non-writing in the morning (probably bookkeeping, since I'm seeing my CPA next week, but as that doesn't require writing new scenes, I think it's practically like relaxing) before considering Thorington again in the afternoon. Goodnight!

in the daylight we'll be on our own

My Puritanical instincts are telling me to stay up all night and keep working, but my stomach and my gluten fatigue are telling me to go to bed. Today was far more tiring than I had expected it to be, but Alyssa thinks that eating gluten again when I haven't had much of it in almost two years and clearly have a lot of difficulty processing it is making me way more tired than I should be. The theory makes sense; I've gotten almost nine hours of sleep every night for the past three nights and I still required a nap tonight before I could get down to business.

Anyway, I went to work this morning in my gym clothes and slogged from 8:30 to noon without pause. Then I sped over to the gym to train with Alyssa, who made me do more kettlebell swings than my arms were in the mood for. Then I returned to work, sans showering, and inflicted my stinky self on the coworkers who had scheduled meetings in such a way that prevented me from taking a break and showering. I finally got out of there sometime around four, which was later than I had hoped, and so I sat in traffic until I reached my home at 5:30.

And then I took a nap, laid around for a bit, took a long-overdue shower, and schlepped myself over to my favorite french place, where I had a steak and a glass of wine that didn't have the restorative power to overcome the two slices of bread I forced myself to eat with it. They are no longer serving my favorite wine by the glass, but since the manager, the sommelier, and two waiters apologized to me for taking it off the menu, I suppose I shall forgive them rather than filing a lawsuit. I should probably add that the apologies were completely unprompted - I think they like me and don't find me particularly frightening, although since I often come in looking half-crazed, perhaps they're more frightened of me than they let on (but I somehow doubt it).

Anyway, I got some work done there, came home, was going to work some more, and then realized I would be better served by sleeping for nine hours and considering Thorington in the morning. So I sent the first half of Thorington to my editor and will finish making notes on what I'm doing on the second half tomorrow - which means I should stop dallying here and go to bed. Goodnight!

jealous of the rhyme and the rhyme routine

Today was a v. long day. I had jury duty for the second day, and while I was thankfully not called to serve, I spent more time than I had expected to spend sitting there listening to jury selection. I'm glad I participated, since I got some v. interesting glimpses of human nature (including my own), but since I never got called up and so spent the entire time sitting in the back listening to tales of woe/obvious lies/claims of not understanding English, there were moments when I was a bit bored. But my faith in humanity was also reinforced by the fact that everyone from yesterday showed up again today, and no one seemed truly horrendous (with the exception of a couple of people who seemed to lie about their ability to be impartial just to get out of it).

But I was finally released at a point when it would be pointless to go to Mountain View. So I got my boots shined in the lobby of the courthouse, retrieved my car from the lot (where the lot attendant flirted with me for a second day and was sad to hear I'd been dismissed), came home, contemplated work, and instead took the rare opportunity for a gorgeous sunny day and met up with Kathia to write. Yes, I know that sitting in a darkened room writing isn't taking advantage of the sunlight. But over the course of the late afternoon/evening, I wrote twelve pages, so that was awesome. Then I met Priyanka and Ariel for burgers at Roam, where I ate a bun for the first time in ever and discovered that it's tastier than I would have liked to have known about.

And now I am desperate for sleep; I've learned that I can write 2000 words (8-10 pages) in a day without much problem, but when I extend it to 3000 words or more it melts my brain. So, I must sleep if I've any hope of getting my brain to congeal again before work tomorrow. Goodnight!

grand tour

Today was an unusual day, and nothing that I expected it to be. I had jury duty, which I had expected to get out of relatively quickly from what I'd heard from other people. Instead, I sat in a courtroom for seven hours, and they haven't finished selecting the jury for the trial that I got called up for, so I have to go back tomorrow. Sigh.

But I had a decent lunch during the break at a restaurant somewhere in the up and coming SOMA district, and I was home by five. And then I blew off work work and went to La Boulange, where I got my gluten quota in by eating an almond croissant. And then I met Kathia at Nectar, where I wrote ten pages and was v. diligent in making the story happen. Then I came home, stopping along the way to buy some chicken and green beans from the deli, which I ate while watching Rick Steves be interesting and unstylish in England. And now I must go to bed so that I can do this again tomorrow - goodnight!

make that money, watch it burn

The day job was brutal today; I got up early and was in the office by eight, and I stayed there until almost six. I realize that that's a normal job for most people, but adding the commute + the fact that I had meetings the whole time made for a long day. But I managed to sneak a workout in, and I got a fancy juice from the juice place on campus, so that was good. Then I ran errands (I got new glasses!), did some desultory shopping at Stanford Shopping Center (which is even more upscale than it was when I was in college, which I didn't think was possible at the time), had Chipotle for dinner (Ritu would be so proud), and came home. And now I must sleep immediately - this gluten thing is not making me feel well at all, and I'm hoping sleep will help. Goodnight!

never to touch and never to keep

Internet at home is being stupid and I need to go to bed immediately, so I won't spend much time typing on my phone even though you deserve better. But if you're still coming back after all this time, I guess the lure of my mundanity is too much for you to resist, so this post will be right up your alley.

Today was v social and v productive. I wrote five pages before work, went south, had coffee with Alaska Matt, worked a but, had lunch (a delicious seafood stew, aka cioppino) with Cari, worked some more, took an impromptu walk and got juice with John, worked again, and left at 5:30 to rendezvous with Kathia. She's back at Half Moon Bay and I was tempted to stay the night, but prudent thoughts (aka my upset stomach) made me come home instead. But I met her there, wrote another five pages, and had dinner before coming home.

And now I must sleep so I can write and slog tomorrow - goodnight!

it's the heart that matters more

Today was mostly frustrating, but I finally remembered to chill the fuck out at the end of it, so at least I'm ending the weekend on a positive note. I spent the morning doing bookkeeping-type stuff, since I'm trying to turn this writing thing into a real business with better records (as opposed to the old system, in which I throw all receipts into a box and spend two days during tax season sorting through them all, which guarantees a) misery and b) that I missed things I should have deducted). And I spent the afternoon trying to write, but I'm feeling blocked and unhappy and generally anxious about finishing it to my satisfaction in the time I've allotted myself (which I realize is a crazy self-imposed deadline that has no basis in reality).

So when I had my usual call with my parents, I took it from the roof deck so I could get some much-needed fresh air. Then I ran a couple of errands and was going to come home and try to write some more, but I realized that trying to force it tonight was just going to make me cranky and continue the burnout. So I grabbed a coffee (and sat for half an hour daydreaming + eavesdropping on an AA sponsor meeting), and then had family time dinner with Adit, Priyanka, Katrina, and Akash at a Koreanish restaurant near Adit and Priyanka's place. Family time was just what the doctor ordered; we had to go around and discuss what we learned last week, what we'll change, what will make us faster, and how we can be more social (because these are obvious questions to ask over dinner). My realization was that I should have taken either yesterday or today off-off despite my deadline, which frustrates me to no end but is probably something I need to force myself to do more often. Ugh. But I was not the only one who was feeling stressed, and I didn't almost get killed by a crazy man in a laundromat like some people, so I guess all in all I'm in okay shape.

So that was all lovely. And then I came home, painted my nails, regretted painting my nails for a split second when I felt a minor earthquake and was worried I'd have to ruin my nails and take cover if it turned major, and have just written this post. And now I'm going to go to sleep - goodnight!

tell me that you want me

I'm way tired, but that could be because I read four books in the last two days while also attempting to write and work on the day job and have a tiny bit of a social life. I had to judge seven books for a romance contest, and of course I procrastinated, and so I had to read the last four immediately. Oops. So I read two books last night (they were short), then read another in bed this morning, and I read the last one in bed tonight. In between those reading festivities, I had brunch, cleaned my room, tried to write and mostly failed (I got about two pages, although I made a lot of notes about character development, so it's not like I wasn't thinking), and made supper. I also ate my allotted two slices of bread, which may be contributing to my foggy malaise.

But tomorrow is another day and I think I am coming unblocked on the current issues with my story, so hopefully Thorington submits to my cruel mercies tomorrow. Goodnight!

wheat belly

I can't express how wrong it felt to buy a loaf of bread, cut two slices off of it, and eat it. The bread was great (fresh sourdough from Whole Foods), and I bought some absurdly delicious and overpriced French butter to make it even more decadent, but ultimately it felt like I was eating poison. Which, to be fair, is probably accurate; I felt sick most of the afternoon, and now my back is itching in what is probably a psychosomatic event but could also be the start of what may, in a few days, turn into hives.

Sooooo, this attempt to decide whether I have celiac disease is probably going to make for a miserable couple of weeks. Combine that with an impending deadline of doom for Thorington, jury duty, the upcoming end of quarter at work, and a host of other to-dos, and I think I'm destined for some unpleasantness. But hopefully I get some answers to my stomach issues, and then it will all be worth it.

But if you want to hear something other than my octogenarianish recounting of my digestive issues, you are in for a disappointment. I will say that I worked from home, then slacked off at five and went with Terry to Nectar, where we were going to read but where we just talked over wine instead. Then we had sushi, which was utterly delicious. And now I am desperate for sleep - goodnight!

the forbidden fruit must be tasted

Today was v. odd. I trained with Alyssa, who spared my wrist any further attempts to slam a kettlebell into it, so that was nice of her. Then I went to work, had some meetings, went to my eye doctor (my eyes continue to kick ass, although they're getting dry compared to my youth), then had more meetings all afternoon. I did have a nice lunch interlude, though, since the cafe staff v. randomly offered to make me an omelette rather than making me wait for whatever was coming out of the over. Yes, I'm totally spoiled - so spoiled that I was a little annoyed that I could only fill it with whatever I could find on the salad bar, which meant mushrooms/tomatoes/cheese since I didn't want fetal corn/garbanzo beans. I'll say it again - yes, I'm totally spoiled.

I left the office around four to see my actual doctor - today was clearly all about my health, which was efficient for my mind if not for my work email. My ulcer friend appears to be coming back, and so my doctor has chosen to take some steps that are probably smart in the long run but will make me unhappy in the short run. She wants to test me to see if I have fullblown celiac disease rather than just a gluten insensitivity, but the test requires that you have eaten gluten daily for at least two weeks. So I'm on strict orders to eat at least two slices of bread (or some such equivalent) for two weeks, at which point I'll need to get bloodwork and an endoscopy. Boo. So I guess if there is some gluten-filled food you've been dying to feed me, you should do it now, since there's a somewhat decent chance that I will never eat it again after this month.

So that was all a little bit of a bummer. Then I came home (traffic was a real bummer), messed around a bit, and had supper at my favorite French place, since I needed to feel safe and loved (and eat some bread, and theirs is great). Then I came home, and now I must sleep - goodnight!

pompeii

I need to go to bed immediately - I stayed up later than planned reading a book (I need to judge it for a contest), and training with Alyssa is going to come all too soon. Today was fine, albeit not great since my stomach has been hurting a lot, so I stayed home and am going to go to the doctor tomorrow. But I got some work done, took care of some writing-related stuff, wrote about a page of Thorington's book, and read, so that's all good.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

long train running

I'm going to bed two hours later than I had planned, so I'll keep this brief. Suffice it to say that I got up early enough this morning to write two pages (but not the five I had hoped for), then attended meetings, then drove down to the glorious south bay to train with Alyssa. She's got me doing kettlebell cleans now, which bruised the hell out of my arm from swinging a 16kg bell into it over and over - I will get better or else my arm will fall off. Then I had a v. depressing lunch (everyone around me was raving about some cafe they went to while I ate something sad from my building), then had meetings all afternoon.

But I was able to get out of work on time and go to Shedletsky and Tina's house for dinner. I hadn't seen them in ages and ages since I'm horrible with email, but they've bought a house, and so they had me over for a v. tasty steak dinner. We discussed weddings, careers, porn, romance novels, trains, Russia, would-be spies, bitcoins, and a lot of other topics, not necessarily in that order. And it was fantastic to see them - so fantastic that I stayed for four hours, which meant I didn't get home until 11:15ish.

So tomorrow will be brutal, particularly since my stomach is already hurting...hopefully my stress case can pull itself together by tomorrow. Goodnight!

we be all night

So, I'm really pleased with the progress I made on Thorington's book this weekend, but spending three days staring at a screen nonstop didn't exactly make it easy to go into the office and face the prospect of doing the same thing for the day job this week. I woke up in Half Moon Bay, had breakfast with Kathia, packed, checked out, and made it into the office around 10:45 (waiting out traffic was imperative). Then I slogged all day, with a break to have lunch with Alyssa, since she wanted to see my place of work.

By four or five I really just wanted to come home, but I had a work event/dinner/thing that I had to stay for. So I ended up being on campus until sometime after 7:30, which was way later than I wanted to be there. I had fortified with coffee and ibuprofen, but it wasn't really cutting it. However, I made the drive home safely, stopped to buy milk for my tea and salmon for my breakfast, and I'm now ready to go to bed so that I can get eight hours of sleep before starting this process again tomorrow. I have grand plans to get up and write before work, but we shall see how that goes - goodnight!

sleep experience

I need to go to bed immediately, since I have to go to work in the morning and I somehow have to metabolize all this rum before that happens. Life is hard.

But this weekend was exactly what I had hoped for, even if what I had hoped for was a world of pain and misery. I woke up this morning, laid in bed for an hour and caught up on current events on my phone (Ukraine makes me sad and is giving me visions of Czechoslovakia '38), and then showered before joining Kathia downstairs for breakfast. We broke our respective fasts with some lovely omelettes, and then I wrote from 9:30ish to 1ish. Then we took a walk along the cliffs before coming back to the hotel and having a late brunch. After brunch, I was sorely in need of a nap, so I slept for thirty minutes, then sat out in an adirondack chair and stared at the ocean while talking to my parents. Then I came in and wrote from 5 to 8, at which point Kathia and I were DONE and so moved to the bar, where we watched the rest of the Oscars and I somehow drank a lot of rum (a mai tai and two mojitos).

All in, though, I wrote ~50 pages this weekend, which is totally respectable (and by that I mean it's totally fucking crazy). If I get up in time in the morning, I'm going to try to write a few more pages before work - I need to wait out rush hour anyway, so I might as well eat breakfast and write before driving over the bay side of the peninsula. But now I must sleep - goodnight!

love lies bleeding

I had a really long, often brutal day, but it was exactly the day I signed up for and so I'm really pleased with it despite the pain. I got a full eight hours of sleep, which was v. necessary, and then I threw on some yoga pants (yes, I'm one of those girls now) and joined Kathia in the lounge for breakfast. We paid to have all-day access to the club lounge, which turned out to be the best decision ever because there were lots of tables and couches to work at, a steady stream of new and interesting foods, and endless champagne/wine/alcohol on hand. I was a good girl and limited myself to tea and coffee until mid-afternoon, but the white wine saved my life later in the day when I was staring down at the blank page and trying to figure out what to say next. Also, they made me a gluten free roast beef sandwich with a nice kick to it, which may have been the best sandwich I've ever had, so they've won my heart forever.

So we wrote all morning, and then I took a break to go outside for some fresh air, followed by a rejuvenating shower. This place is totally gorgeous, btw; I saw multiple rainbows over the ocean this morning, including a great double rainbow, which was super cool. Then I wrote for another three hours in the afternoon, at which point my brain was melting. So I went downstairs and sat in an adirondack chair and watched the ocean for half an hour while a bagpiper (yes, a bagpiper) played. Then I repainted my nails, rendezvoused with Kathia, and had supper in the bar - Alyssa would be happy to know that I chose the awesome roasted chicken, although she would be unhappy to know that I had Bailey's later (if she knew what Bailey's was, which is perhaps doubtful). After supper, we wrote for another couple of hours. But at 9:45ish we were both beyond done. So now I'm lying in bed, watching a fake fire on the television, and contemplating whether to read for a little bit or go to sleep.

But I wrote almost twenty pages of Thorington's book today - I would have hit twenty, but I decided to stop writing and instead plot out what I think needs to happen in the rest of the book. I'm feeling good(ish) about it, although I have a shit-ton of work to do before it's done. But that's a stressful thought for another day - goodnight!

i don't want to let you go until you see the light

I am in Half Moon Bay, which is gorgeous - it's rainy and damp with occasional flashes of dramatic sunshine (during the day; it would certainly be dramatic if they happened at night), which is perfect for a writing retreat. I didn't get down here as early as I had planned; I woke up this morning around 6:30, which was only five hours after I'd gone to bed, and I made the mistake of checking my work email, which turned into an hour and a half of work. At that point it was eight a.m., and I tried to sleep some more, but I pretty much failed. So I made breakfast, packed, showered, and then got a text from Kathia saying that she wasn't leaving until twelve - so I promptly took my wet hair and went back to bed for half an hour.

But I finally roused myself, loaded my car, got some coffee at Philz, and drove down to Half Moon Bay. I got here around two p.m., checked in, and met Kathia in the bar, where we wrote for a couple of hours. I will admit that I was quite distracted by the television, which is unusual for me, but since they were discussing current events in Ukraine, I was really having trouble focusing. But I slogged through the rest of that scene, and then we took a break and walked along the ocean for awhile, which was lovely.

After our walk, I took a v. brief nap, and then we had dinner - I had an amazing beef shortrib dish that made me very happy. And then we sat in the lounge and wrote for another couple of hours. I got to ten pages today, which is respectable but not enough to thrill me. However, I'm still tired from this week's slogging, so I'm going to go to bed now, sleep nineish hours, and then hit it hard tomorrow. Goodnight!

storms are brewing in your eyes

Today was v. long. I woke up at sixish, put on my spiffy new workout clothes, and drove down to Palo Alto to train with Alyssa. The rain conspired with my email to make me late, but I saw a rainbow on the way there, so I suppose that was something good. My training session was also good, and it put me in a good frame of mind to conquer the day.

And conquer I did. My work projects continue to be totally, utterly ridiculous, but someone gave me a peer bonus for it, so that was nice. The peer bonus is mostly symbolic and perhaps wouldn't cover my champagne budget for the month, but I don't know if that tells you that the bonus is small or that I drink a ton of champagne. But it was still lovely to be recognized for all the expertise I've built up over the years. And my meetings were mostly good and I felt mostly like I did good things, so it was nice to leave work feeling that way...

...only to sit in traffic for an hour and a half. I took a break when I got home to have dinner with Terry, since we hadn't really seen each other in ages. But then I worked from 8:30 until 12:30, since I'm taking tomorrow off and that meant that I had to do all this stuff that a normal workaholic would have done over the weekend. I'm leaving for a writing retreat at an undisclosed location (aka Half Moon Bay) with Kathia tomorrow, and I'm staying until it's time to go to work Monday morning. So hopefully I'll make massive progress on Thorington. And while I wish that I had gone to bed three hours ago, I'm glad that I can now go write with a mostly empty work to-do list and a mostly-settled feeling about what I need to do next week. Of course, my personal inbox and to-do list are complete shitshows, but I've got to drop the ball somewhere, right? Goodnight!

the cold never bothered me anyway

I'm a very dull boy this week; there has been space in my life for v. little beyond work. But I'm mostly happy, if only because I don't have time to stop and think. Today was another brutal slog, compounded by spending close to four hours commuting, which should be illegal. I left the house at 6:45am and was at my desk at 8:45am (taking the shuttle is better for productivity, but involves more walking/schlepping around on either end of the trip), and then I left my desk at 4:30 and was home at 6:25 (which would have been slightly better had I not had to make a long detour for gas). The rain has turned everyone into idiots again, and I'm not psyched about driving down again tomorrow, but I shall survive.

Once I reached the office, I ate my salary in smoked salmon, then had meetings pretty much straight from 9am to 4pm, with a brief break that I used to straighten up my desk rather than doing anything more pressing. But there was champagne in the middle, so that's not bad. Then I came home, was home for five minutes, and immediately left to a) buy new workout clothes (my favorites are embarrassingly worn at this point) and b) eat at my favorite place and write some of Thorington's book. The workout clothes buying was successful, I wrote three and a half pages of Thorington while limiting myself to only one glass of wine (shocker), and I caught up on the lives and scandals of all my favorite waiters, so it was all lovely.

And now I must sleep so I can do it all again tomorrow, although I'm adding Alyssa and likely subtracting the wine. Goodnight!

she took me in and gave me breakfast

I need to go to bed immediately so that I can get eight hours of sleep tonight - alas. As it turns out, yesterday didn't wreck my body as much as I thought - Alyssa was stunned at how even my shoulders were when I walked in this morning, and I was able to touch the floor without any effort at all. So maybe working nonstop is good for me!

Ha. Unlikely. I slept for eight and a half hours last night, got up early, stared at the ceiling for awhile, and then worked from home until ten. That meant I did two hours of day job work and snuck in forty-five minutes of Thorington, which was enough for two pages. This is better than I should have done, since I've decided to be kind to myself and not expect writing output on days when I also have workouts, since there just isn't enough time in the day. Yes, I know my definition of 'kind' is not particularly kind.

But getting a couple of pages of Thorington out into the world before going to work felt amazing. So I drove down and trained with Alyssa, then had lunch while working with my team on an ongoing project, then had meetings straight through until five. I adjourned then to go to happy hour (unfortunate, since I neither wanted a drink nor the fried food on offer at the local dive bar), then caught a shuttle home and was in my apartment by 7:15 - not bad for the jhoke that is my daily commute. Then I ate supper and read a book - I need to judge entries for a published writing contest, and this one was pretty good without being totally stellar. Still, it's better than some of the other stuff waiting for me in that mixed bag of entries, so it was a good place to start.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

you were the first, you'll be the last

I must stop staring at my laptop immediately if I'm going to have any hope of recovering from how chaining myself to my desk all day has wrecked my body. But the chaining was quite useful, even if I can't sustain it every day - I slogged pretty hardcore for the day job all day, but since I worked from home, I was able to sneak away in the late afternoon and have a quick, impromptu writing date with Kathia. I wrote five pages of Thorington and Callie, which flowed pretty well - hopefully that's a sign that I'm getting into the story (although I know better than to count any of these chickens, since they usually hatch into vile monsters who must be slaughtered).

Then I grabbed some foodstuffs for dinner, bought flowers for my desk because I'm a spoiled princess, and spent the last three hours or so working on stuff for the writing business and my taxes, which is not a fun or pleasant activity. But I was trying to get through some business stuff so that I can ignore everything and focus solely on the book this weekend, and I think I got through the most pressing, distracting items on the list. I still need to prep my receipts and see my CPA, and I still need to judge some books for the RITA contest, and that all needs to happen in the next two weeks...but this weekend I think I can write without regrets.

And now I must sleep so I can do it all again tomorrow - goodnight!

see the light, touch the light, we're together now

I'm in full-on crazy writer mode now. Or maybe I'm not entirely in full-on crazy mode; I allowed myself to take a nap and get a mani/pedi today, so it could definitely be worse. But I got up in time to meet Kathia at 7:15 (okay, I got there at 7:30) for a writing date, which is totally crazy-town given how tired I was last night and how little I enjoy getting up in the morning. But it was worth it, since I typed up what I'd written in my notebook and wrote a couple of pages before vacating the coffeeshop for my mani/pedi appointment.

The middle part of my day involved some much-needed downtime; I got my manicure and pedicure, and my nails look lovely even if I forsook the gel polish in favor of not getting melanoma from the UV light used to cure it. Then I went to Caffe Union and had huevos while reading part of the Lonely Planet guidebook for Devon and Cornwall - I'm not going there anytime soon (although the guidebook made me want to throw everything away and go there immediately), but my next series is set there, so I was looking up facts and towns and photos. Then I came home and took a much-needed and mostly-deserved nap before talking to my parents for an hour.

But after I was off the phone, it was showtime again. So I rendezvoused with Kathia and we wrote for a couple more hours. I'm making progress, even if I'm so far from done that it makes me feel vaguely ill (yes, I know that's nonsensical; no, I'm probably not going to be able to calm down and enjoy my many and varied accomplishments instead of beating myself up for not being able to write four books a year). But Thorington and Callie (that's his heroine) are amazing together, so I think I'm just going to have to skip the scenes where there not together and figure all that out later. I probably should have kept writing, but instead we went to Izzy's for prime rib, and I had an entertaining conversation with her and her husband while being plied with wine by their favorite waiter.

And now I am going to go to bed so that I can get eight and a half hours or so and then try to write before work - wish me luck. Goodnight!

living in a lost generation

I had a v. fun and v. educational day, but I'm completely wiped out...if only I could take next week off so that I could focus solely on writing. But even though I only got six hours of sleep last night, woke up with a vague wine hangover at 6:45am, and had to be out the door at 7:45 to go to Sunnyvale, it was all worth it. My writing workshop was really good, and it was great to hang out with my friend Grace. We were at the workshop from nine to five-thirty, and then we stopped in Palo Alto for dinner at Palo Alto Sol before heading back to the city.

And now, after that v. boring update, I desperately need to go to bed so I can get eight and a half hours of sleep before getting up tomorrow and meeting Kathia for an early (and often) writing date. I'm going to have to start doing two-a-days if I'm going to catch up on Thorington enough to stop stressing about him, so get ready for me to turn insane starting immediately. Goodnight!

i love you so, i'd eat you whole

Today continued to be ridic at work, but I held true to my plan to a) work out and b) leave early (although I didn't leave until 3:15, and I had hoped to leave at 2:30). But I managed to take a break and train with Alyssa, which was awesome even if I did have to go straight back to campus without showering and sit through a meeting in my own stench. But I got to shower over lunch, and it turns out that the showers in my building (which I've never used before) are actually surprisingly nice. So, that's good to know if my life keeps moving in the direction it's currently moving (aka I relapse into full-blown workaholism).

But I got out of there at three, made it home around 4:30, took care of a couple of tings, and left the house at five to write. This was despite the fat that a more alluring plan presented itself, but I held true to my plan and wrote for an hour and a half even though it was hard and brutal slogging. But it netted three or four pages of Thorington, which is better than what I had, so I'm v. happy with that. Then I took an uber (because I'm fancy) to Adit and Priyanka's, where I chatted with them until it was time for Priyanka to go to work. After that, Adit and I had dinner at Mission Beach Cafe with Marina, an old college friend who is in town and staying with them this weekend. She's awesome, and I hadn't seen Adit in a v. small group of people our own age in quite some time, so it was great to catch up with them. Adit did ask me at one point if I'm an Asian tourist, since I was taking pictures of all my food - but in my defense, Alyssa is asking me to take pictures, so if you hang out with me in the coming weeks, don't be surprised if I look like an idiot.

And now, after learning about the city of Verona and Cypriot mountain goats and French Laundry and all the rest, I desperately need to sleep - I have to get up at 6:45 so I can go to Sunnyvale for an all-day writing activity, which will hopefully be educational enough to make me feel less surly about sacrificing a weekend day. Goodnight!

guns hidden under our petticoats

Work continues to be ridic, but I'm trying to get through everything that I can get through tomorrow so that I can ignore it all weekend in favor of spending some quality time with Thorington. So I got up super early, was on the shuttle before seven a.m., and slogged incessantly and without break (yes, that's redundant) until fiveish. But I took champagne for my team, so at least I was able to drink away my pain at lunchtime (no, you shouldn't be worried). Then I took the shuttle back to the city and went straight to my dinner plans. But I was twenty minutes early getting back to the city - I had hoped to be forty-five minutes early so that I could write, but it took almost two hours to get off campus and into the city, so that plan failed. But I stopped by my favorite wine bar for a drink and twenty minutes of writing before dinner - and instead ran into Kathia, who was just about to leave. So we had a glass of champagne and commiserated on our woes (my day job, her writing), which was lovely.

Then I adjourned next door, where I had a v. wonderful and entertaining dinner with Lauren (aka Subz) and Terry. I hadn't seen Lauren in ages, so it was great to see her, and I had quite an enjoyable evening. Then Terry and I came home and watched the women's skating results, which I'm glad I got to see before I was spoiled. And now I must sleep since I intend to catch an earlyish shuttle, get some work done, train with Alyssa, get some more work done, and then throw my laptop away so that I can focus on Thorington. Goodnight!

she's got a boyfriend anyway

Today was totally rough at work for reasons that I can't disclose (nothing life- or career-threatening, although my soul is slowly being crushed, so I suppose that's noteworthy). But I made the executive decision to work from home, which was good for my morale if only because I was able to stop at six and actually be home already rather than having to get carsick on a shuttle. At that point I was in desperate need of some fresh air and a change of scene, so I took a meandering stroll for fifteen blocks or so, then had dinner and some wine at my favorite French bistro (yes, I was there yesterday, but I was with people then, which is *totally* different). Also, I ordered chicken and white wine instead of steak and red wine, so I blew everyone's minds.

But as much as my french bistro habit is silly and expensive, it totally fixed me, at least for an hour. I wrote a couple of pages of Thorington's book (he's yummy), stopped thinking about work, enjoyed my wine, and had a long chat with one of my favorite Des Amis people about Vegas, Austin, and a variety of other topics. Then I came home and watched figure skating, although I did succumb to the lure of my work email for a little bit.

Now I shall go upstairs, go to bed, and hopefully get onto the shuttle quickly tomorrow since I have to present to some meeting at 9:30am - goodnight!

wild thing...you make my heart sing

I'm exhausted and falling asleep over my tablet, so I shall keep this brief. I had a totally annoying day at work, but it was redeemed by dimmer and some Olympics watching with Tammy and Daniel. We went to Des Amis because I love that place, as anyone who has ever read my blog knows. Then we watched snowboard cross and bobsled and skiing until Tammy and I were both falling asleep and Daniel decided it was time for them to go home.

So, it was lovely to see her, even if I'm way tired now. I blame work - I was so swamped that I still went to train with Alyssa but I didn't have time to shower after, so I went straight back to work and sat on meetings in my workout clothes and stench all afternoon. But I took a relatively early shuttle home and showered before dinner so I didn't embarrass Tammy's delicate sensibilities. And now I must go to bed - goodnight!

biblical

I just looked at the clock and realized that I must go to bed immediately - I've got a brutal, annoying day shaping up tomorrow, and I need to reserve my energy so that I can enjoy some Olympics with Tammy (aka Tammmeh) in the evening. But today was pretty productive, if I ignore the fact that I had a bit of a freakout over my book. I woke up in time to meet Kathia for a 9am writing date, and I wrote three or four pages before coming home. Then I did some more work, journaled, showered, went out for a v. late lunch, came home, and napped for an hour and a half. And then I spent my evening doing a v. annoying bit of data monkeying while watching Olympics coverage...I suppose it could be worse and I could have done it while having my fingernails pulled out or something, so I guess I should be happy the Olympics were on to console me.

But now I must sleep since I have to leave by 6:45 tomorrow - goodnight!

and you let it go

I should have gone to bed two hours ago, but Olympics and tax prep kept me up until now. And that means that getting up in the morning is going to be rougher than I would have liked; I don't have to go to work, but I'm meeting Kathia at 9am for a writing date, so I need to get to bed immediately. There's nothing else of interest to report anyway, since I spent the day sleeping (until after ten a.m.), cleaning (not much to do since I cleaned up after the party last night), writing (only four pages, but that's better than nothing), talking to my parents, and watching Olympics. I'm going to rinse and repeat tomorrow - goodnight!

drunk in love

Today was awesome - much more awesome than I expected when I went to bed last night, since I just wanted to sleep for a million hours. Instead, I slept for ten, got dressed, had breakfast at my favorite place down the street in an effort to minimize my cooking endeavors, and then went shopping for important contributions to my kitchen. This includes a stop at BevMo for liquor + a stock-up on red wine, the party store for gold medals and paper plates, and Whole Foods for a shit-ton for produce and other overpriced but tasty goods.

Then I got home and started cooking in earnest. And by 'earnest' I mean that I made borscht. I made a double batch, which involved a lot of chopping, and I'm not sure I would have made it had I not had my food processor to shred the beets, carrots, and cabbage. But it turned out amazingly well - so well that multiple people asked for the recipe, which is not common for things that come from the darkest, beetiest heart of Mother Russia.

But I had vowed to be easier on myself at this party and not have to cook for all of it, which I mostly succeeded at - and I succeeded by not making the Olympic Rings Cakes (tm). I have no regrets; I was too tired to do them, and it would have been impossible to do them all today, and besides, there would have been a cake for approximately every four people at the party, which results in a lot of wasted cake. Instead, I made the borscht, and I got fruits in the Olympics colors and made chocolate dipping sauce, and there were chips and guac and salsa, so I think people survived.

And all in all it was super fun. Heather (aka dear respected madam) came in mid-afternoon to say hi after her hair appointment, but she couldn't stay, which was too bad. But I was able to take a break and hang out with her the whole time she was hear, and it was great to see her. Then I made gluten-free chocolate chip chewies, practiced making White Russians (I think I drank most of them anyway), and started organizing tings. The turnout was really good, especially for a winter Olympics that no one seems to care about very much. I spent the first half alternating between cooking in the kitchen and watching in the living room, and then I spent the second half (as per usual) holed up in the dining room with the usual suspects (John, Jess, Adit, Priyanka, Katrina, Vidya). But it was great to see Sarah, Tolu, Fred, Jamie, and all the rest. And Tammy (aka Tammmmmmehh) made a super special and relatively unexpected appearance, so maybe we'll be able to watch together again later this week.

But now I'm falling asleep on my keyboard - it's time for bed. Goodnight!

everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Even though I slept ten hours last night, I'm still totally exhausted. It didn't help that I had a really stressful afternoon; it usually takes twenty minutes to get to my hair salon, but today it took 45, and I had to abandon my car and walk seven blocks when it became clear I might never get across Market. So I was half an hour late to my haircut, which was only forgivable because I've been going there for years and am never late. But Lauren couldn't do her usual awesome blowout, so she left my hair wet and braided it - cute, but not what I had planned.

And because my car was secdn blocks away, I couldn't go to Whole Foods as I had planned. So I came home, pouted, and made eggs for dinner. Then I watched last night's Olympics coverage (figure skating! Sadness!) and tried to regain my energy for a late night grocery run, but I've decided to screw it and go to bed instead.

So I may not bake the cakes this year - I would rather make borscht, and the cakes are super wasteful for the number of people who are coming. And the national food of Russia is disappointment, so it seems fitting. But maybe I'll wake up with tons of energy and desire to bake...stranger things have happened. Goodnight!

man in motion

I'm beyond tired - having one night in the week where I only get six hours of sleep is enough to wreck me for the rest of it. Today was fine; I worked out with Alyssa, had a bunch of meetings, had lunch with some people I started with at the day job ten and a half years ago (crazy), had some more meetings, and came home relatively early to beat traffic. Once I got here, I should have worked on day job stuff, but instead I started working on my taxes for 2013 (not exactly my favorite task) while watching last night's Olympic coverage. It's only nine p.m. now, but I think I'm going to go to bed without watching tonight - I believe I shall work from home tomorrow, so maybe I can watch some of it in the morning while working on monkeyish tasks. But for now, I shall bid you adieu!

forty-seven heartbeats beating like a drum

I'm exhausted and had hoped to be in bed an hour ago, but the fabulous writer life kept me up. And by that I mean 'dear God, why would anyone ever want to be a writer?!'. J/k. But that is what Kathia and I asked each other when we met up at ~7:30am (it was supposed to be 7) for a writing date. I mean, really, why would anybody be so dumb as to pursue this on top of a day job that actually pays pretty well and perfectly matches one's interests? Only idiots would do that.

sssanyway. I wrote five pages of Thorington's book before peacing out and taking the shuttle south. Then I slogged for many hours, although I took a 'break' to attend an interesting talk on women and negotiation. Then I went to a 'wine Wednesday' event at work solely because Gloria Ferrer was the featured winery - they make my favorite champagne (aka sparkling wine), and have a lovely vineyard in Sonoma that I took my parents to way back in the day. So I had approximately one more glass than I should have had, along with the food being served (an amazing risotto and some decent mahi mahi, with chocolate covered strawberries for dessert), and hung out with a couple of my coworkers for a couple of hours. Then I sat with my personal laptop and was going to write, but instead messed around with metadata for an hour until I felt completely safe to drive home.

And now I desperately need to sleep - I have to train with Alyssa tomorrow, and my alarm is going to go off much too soon. Goodnight!

yolo, baby

I should have gone to bed an hour ago, but I wanted to watch Olympics after spending like thirteen hours working. Since I spent all that time working, you can guess that nothing interesting at all happened...and you would be right. Although I did have a v. lovely lunch with Chandlord, so at least that was good. But now I'm going to finish watching halfpipe and go to bed. Goodnight!

don't hang yourself with a celibate rope

I don't have time to blog tonight - I have to get up at six, which means I must sleep right now if I want to feel rested in the morning. Today was fine, though; I worked from home, which was good for my stress level even if I didn't get as much done as I had hoped (does that refrain sound familiar?).

But I stopped beating myself up long enough to meet up with Kathia, where I wrote three slow and brutally hard-fought pages. But I think things may be unlocking themselves so the pain was worth it. Then I bought groceries, came home, and ate the stuff I bought in the deli section rather than forcing myself to cook. And in a sign that I'm still tired and not fully recovered, I'm going to bed even before Olympics coverage ends for the night -,goodnight!

ukraine girls really knock me out

I did way too much today, which has contributed to the fact that my recovery from my cold has stalled. I slept for ten hours, but then I showered, made breakfast/lunch, and cleaned out my kitchen. This was a necessary task, since we had a lot of expired food and the cabinet shelves hadn't been cleaned in...ever. It perhaps didn't have to be done today, but since I want to go grocery shopping and restock in anticipation of my upcoming Olympics festivities, it was probably smart to have done it today.

But by the time I was done, it was three p.m., which is the time I had agreed to meet Kathia for a writing date. So we met up, but I only worked for an hour and a half before throwing in the towel, buying a few groceries, and coming home. Once here, I talked to my parents, then made some chili for supper, then made a test round of pelmini (Siberian meat dumplings) while watching Olympics coverage from yesterday (since I'm woefully behind due to my conference yesterday). Unfortunately, the pelmini were pretty much a failure; for one, I think I needed more salt in the meat, and for another, I tried to make them gluten free and I may have finally met a recipe that I can't recreate sans gluten. The major disadvantage of gluten-free dough is that it doesn't have any stretch whatsoever (that's what the gluten does), and so it was nearly impossible to make a dumpling without tearing the dough unless the dough:meat ratio was too heavy on the dough side. I made four and boiled them up, but I was disheartened by the results, so I tossed the rest of the dough (luckily I had only made a half batch) and put the rest of the meat in the fridge so I can make some weird sans-dough pelmini meatballs tomorrow. Sad times.

So with that failure weighing heavily on me (or perhaps lightly, since it means I won't feel compelled to spend the next four days making and freezing dumplings), I'm going to bed - goodnight!

telling you what my heart meant

I'm starting to fall asleep as I consider what to write, and that never bodes well for coherence. This should be obvious since my thought after typing that immediately leapt to Bode Miller. But I suppose it's not obvious since you aren't in my head. C'est la vie.

Today was great, but I'm completely and totally fucking exhausted, so I'm hoping the rain will soothe me into slumber and keep me there for nine or ten hours so I can recover. I got up at 8:30, messed around with my dress/hair/makeup, made a leisurely breakfast, and clearly procrastinated about walking over to my conference. But I finally forced myself to go (I knew I would have fun when I got there, but was also dreading it)...and as I just said, I had fun when I got there. The first couple of hours were mostly a large-group discussion about metadata and discoverability; I knew a lot of it, but other tips were great and it was a good reminder that I need to spend some time on this aspect since I've neglected it for too long.

At lunch, I committed stomach seppuku (it will become more traditional intestinal seppuku in a few hours) and had dim sum with Courtney, Sherry, Carolyn, Tonda, and some others. Dim sum with Courtney and Sherry is becoming something of a deliciously inconvenient tradition, since I adore dim sum but shouldn't really have it since it's full to bursting with gluten. But this dim sum was great, and I still kind of think it was worth it even though I now have a raging headache and a vague stomach stabbing pain. The group was really fun, though, and it was good to get away from the larger conference, so that was great.

After that, we went back to the conference hotel and I talked to some of them for awhile longer before spending some quality time catching up with Grace in the lobby. Then I sort of tagged along with her, Tina, and Bella to Tina's house, since Tina was hosting a big cocktail party for the conference attendees and needed help setting up. So we set up, had some entertaining conversations, and Grace and I spent some more quality time together before everyone else showed up. The party was supposed to be from seven to ten, but I stayed until almost 11:30, and it was a total blast. I had a particularly good time hanging out with Grace and Sherry and discussing werewhales and Indian massages and a variety of other inappropriate and highly hilarious topics.

But now I'm desperate for sleep and eager to spend tomorrow writing + fixing things + watching Olympics - goodnight!

i call her karma

Today was great, but I didn't do everything I had planned to do during the day. I have no regrets, though. I didn't sleep as much as I should have, since construction noise woke me up early, but I got some rest before dragging myself out of bed and into some clothes so that I could get a manicure. My nails now look fair and lovely, but it took longer than I thought it would, so it was almost 11:30 before I got home. Then I took a bit of a nap, took a shower, ate a snack, and was going to walk to the unconference thing for some selfpub writers that I was going to attend today (I should have mentioned before that I took today off from the day job). But I'm stressed about how far behind I am on Thorington's book, and my room was a mess, and nothing felt particularly orderly, and the idea of walking over to Fisherman's Wharf in the rain to meet with a gathering of writers that didn't include most of the people I wanted to see (the main stuff is tomorrow) filled me with just enough dread that I changed my plans.

So instead, I stayed home and did an awesome job of cleaning up my room and continuing to purge. I need to do a final purge of my closet and clean out my file cabinet, but overall I'm feeling much better and much more centered. I think being a hermit was totally worth it. But I abandoned my hermitage around four p.m. and met up with Kathia for a writing date; we talked for a bit, then wrote for an hour or so, and then had a cocktail at Izzy's. Her husband joined us, and I left them when I finished my drink (although they had almost finished their dinner by the time I left and my intention had been to let them eat without me, so I hadn't ordered a prime rib even though it would have been tasty). But I came home to Terry, who had picked up takeout from Roam for us, and so I got to eat some tasty meat/fries and watch the opening ceremonies.

My feelings about the ceremonies can't be condensed here, but I will try to do so by saying that the past that Russia displayed in their artistic retelling of Russian history was a bit...different than the past I learned about when I got my minor in history (which was basically a minor in Russian history and totalitarianism in general). So I am either the best person or the worst person to watch a Russian Olympics with. But I'm super psyched for the games, and even though I have writer stuff to do all day tomorrow (and a book to write all day Sunday, and really all this month), I'm going to spend some quality time with the tv over the next couple of weeks.

But now I'm exhausted and must sleep so that I can get eight hours and hopefully keep pushing my cold into its grave - goodnight!

although i am broken my heart is untamed still

I have, again, chosen to stay up way too late. BUT IT'S THE OLYMPICS, BITCHES!!! I understand why, due to scheduling, they had to put events on the day before the opening ceremonies, but there is a small part of me that wasn't ready and considers this to be sacrilege. How can some athletes' Olympics experiences be over before the cauldron is lit? Although since it's Sochi, the cauldron may just be a 55-gallon oil drum full of old newspapers, so I guess it's not an issue...

Yes, get ready for lots of vaguely offensive Russian jokes for the next two weeks. You've been warned.

I'm definitely feeling better today than I was earlier this week, but I'm still not 100%. I went to the gym and trained with Alyssa, which may have been a mistake; while it was good to loosen up a bit, I was sweating profusely over v. minor exercises, so I think my body wasn't quite ready for primetime. But I showered, managed to put myself together, and went to the office, where I got enough stuff done to almost feel okay with the fact that today was the only day I went in this week. I'm taking tomorrow off, so I wanted to be productive today, and I guess I mostly succeeded. Then I met Terry for dinner in the south bay so we could sit out traffic, and then we came home and watched the first night of coverage (skating was hilarious; I don't really like slopestyle; Bob Costas should have avoided getting Russian tap water in his eye). I also did a bit more work so that I can put my work laptop away for the weekend sans guilt.

But now I must sleep so that I can get up an accomplish personal stuff tomorrow (namely a 9:30am manicure that I scheduled in my illness haze - why was I dumb enough to do that?) - goodnight!

all your life is such a shame

I should have gone to bed an hour ago - this taking it easy whilst sick thing is not working out so well for me. I also probably should have canceled Alyssa tomorrow, but I'm sick of being cooped up in my apartment (which is saying something since I'm a #hermitforlife). So I stayed home today with the idea that I would get some rest, but instead I had meetings almost straight from nine to five. My midday break was spent cooking chicken so I would have something to eat, then taking a nap so I wouldn't die.

But by six I was desperate to start writing Thorington again, since I'm starting to freak out about how I'm going to finish him by my self-imposed deadline. So I went to my favorite place, where they were all happy to see me, and I wrote a couple of pages (not blazing progress, but better than nothing, particularly since I was feeling v. congested). Then I came home, talked to Terry, looked at recipes for awful Russian foodstuffs, and then spent the last hour writing a blog post about Napoleon in Egypt for a historical blog that I needed to have a guest post for tomorrow.

And now that that's done, I desperately need to go to bed immediately - goodnight!

where do you go, my lovely

I'm still sick, and I should have gone to bed hours ago, but work and other distractions kept me awake until now. I stayed home today, as I had suspected I would, and my boss pretty much told me to stay home again tomorrow after we talked over a videoconference this afternoon, so I will likely take him at his word. I'm telling myself that this is setting a good example for all the people at work who force themselves to come in when they're sick, which is true; I'm also telling myself that I'm better off being able to nap at lunchtime as I did yesterday and today, which is also true.

But my illness is progressing in better and worse ways; I'm slightly less congested, but my throat hurts slightly more, and my black lung cough has arrived. So we're on schedule for bronchitis, unless I manage to sleep it off. That, unfortunately, won't happen unless I go to bed now (or, better, two hours ago, which is impossible). But there are so many things I want to do (write! play with my new scanner!), so many things I need to do (taxes! financial planning! build five presentations for work! answer a million emails! write my marketing plan for Thorington!), and so many things I procrastinate with instead (SOCHI IS A DISASTER OMG HAVE YOU READ THIS?). And my easily-distracted hyped-up-on-dayquil monkey mind keeps thinking of things I should be doing, which is not helpful since I really don't have the energy to do most of them.

So I suppose that means I should force myself to go to bed despite all the shiny distractions - goodnight!

illin like a villain

I'm quite miserably ill, which is an unfortunate and inconvenient way to start the week. I sincerely hope that it doesn't become my usual bronchitis, which I've miraculously evaded since last June if my blog is to be believed. I had expected to get it after Frankfurt/Paris, but I didn't, and so I suppose I'm overdue. But the cough appeared tonight on schedule, after a day of breathless misery, so I do not have high hopes.

Yes, I'm being overly dramatic. Yes, I know everyone hates being sick and I'm not a special princess who somehow gets a pass on being a whiny little bitch. Still, I'm feeling rather whiny, particularly when I think of all the million myriad things I need to get done. Which is, I know, counterproductive, since thinking of a million myriad things led to last month's epic meltdown and totally lack of productivity. I would suck it up, but since I can't breathe, sucking it up is rather painful right now.

But now I shall go to bed and hopefully sleep for eight or nine hours, and I am 95% sure I'll work from home tomorrow too since I really doubt that I'll be in any shape to go into the office. I worked from home today as well, which meant I could take a nap at lunchtime, which may be the only thing that saved me. That and the leftover Thai food I had for lunch, and the mint chip milkshake I had for supper (supper of champions - Alyssa would be so proud). But hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better enough that I won't be so obnoxious on zee blog - goodnight!

and she's watching him with those eyes

I'm miserably sick, as it turns out - which I suppose explains my general malaise yesterday, even thought I would have rather gotten back into the game today instead of waking up feeling like my head was going to pop off my body in a glorious explosion of blood and mucus. Okay, maybe 'glorious' isn't the right word. But I'm not feeling well at all, and it got worse instead of better throughout the day, which does not bode at all well for this week.

But I watched all of the bloodbath that was the Super Bowl, which involved making as many snarky comments as my voice (and Terry's tolerance) would allow. Terry and I were supposed to go out for dinner tonight, but in deference to the fact I can't breathe, we ordered Thai instead. And now I must go to sleep as I had meant to do three hours ago; it's pretty clear that I'm not going to go to work tomorrow, but I should get up in time for my morning meetings anyway so that I can attend them and then screw the rest of the day. Goodnight!

i messed around and got addicted

Any attempt to recount today will inevitably bore you. I'm still really tired from my travels (or from life), so I spent the morning lazing about in bed, then grabbed some brunch, then slogged for a couple of hours, then got my brows waxed and made a much-needed grocery run. When I came home, Terry was here, and so we had the first conversation we've had in nearly two weeks while watching some 'How I Met Your Mother'. Then I sorted through mail and tax stuff, made supper (steak and a potato), and generally lived as exciting a life as it is possible to have when one is thirty-two and a hermit. And now I'm going to go to bed and hope that ten or twelve hours of sleep can finally help me kick my fatigue - goodnight!

the rubble or our sins

I'm super sleepy and intended to go to bed close to two hours ago, but folding clothes and messing around on the internet stymied me. I'm sad that I'm so tired; I was equally tired last night and slept for nine hours, so I thought I'd be in better shape tonight, but even with a nap at five p.m. I'm still a mess.

However, today was fine; I went to the office, slogged, went to the gym and trained with Alyssa, slogged some more, and came home around five. I took my aforementioned nap, then walked to Pac Heights and had dinner at the bar at Tortilla Heights. Brainstorming Thorington was going swimmingly, and I had a pretty good breakthrough, but the bar was suddenly and unexpectedly swarmed by people doing shots, so I vacated and walked home. And perhaps that's why I'm sleepy - tacos + margaritas + a three-mile round trip walk over a steep hill was probably not the most energizing combination.

But now I must sleep so that I can be more interesting and more productive tomorrow - goodnight!