cadillac dream

I got up super early this morning and drove from Mountain View to SF, with a stop for Starbucks and hopefully no stop for the coronavirus (a case was just found in Mountain View, which does not inspire confidence). When I got to the office, I had coffee with Dave (remember him?), and we discussed doomsday prepping, which was a foreshadowing of all of my conversations today.

So I took a bunch of meetings, drank a bunch of emergen-c, and generally tried to survive. I also said my final farewells to my boss, and then I vacated the office to drive across the city to see Veronica. It took 45 min to go seven miles (more than seven miles, since I drove all around the periphery of the city rather than attempting to go straight through at rush hour). But it was worth it, as usual - Veronica was in fine form, and we had wine and takeout pizza and popcorn with her husband Adam. So it was a delightful time even if it's always too brief. And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

your heart has never been broken, your pride has never been stolen

I got up around 5:30 again today, so it's definitely time for bed. Since I'm staying in Mountain View, that meant I could do some work from my room, then shower, and then still be in the office by eight. That turned out to be the right move since I had meetings and work things to do all day, and so didn't leave until after six.

But when I was done, I was done - I drove downtown and grabbed sushi and wine for dinner, which was exactly what i wanted. Then I went to Books Inc just because I haven't been there in forever, and now I'm back in my room and ready to go to bed..I have to get up super early and drive to SF so wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

it's a dull age

I'm too tired to blog - I woke up at five, drove down to the glorious south bay, and managed to get coffee and breakfast before the offsite began. I was going to get a bunch of work done, but my security key broke, so I had to spend precious minutes doing when that.

But eventually we got through all the work, and I enjoyed some happy hour, and then I had some enchiladas and margaritas. And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

let my love open the door

I had a good day, for the first time in what feels like awhile but is really since Sunday. It's probably because I got up early enough to grab coffee at Philz while walking to the office, and because I was able to walk to the office and see palm trees and the ferry building on the way. I sat in an off-site most of the day, which I don't usually love. But this offsite included taking a boat ride around the bay, which was super relaxing, and then included a v nice dinner, and I was back at my hotel by 7:30.

I then passed out face down on the bed and slept for almost two hours, likely because I haven't slept enough the last few days (and also because I took a Dramamine to survive the boat ride and that probably didn't make friends with the wine I had at dinner). I should have packed or worked tonight, but instead I'm going to go to bed rather than allow myself to fully wake up - so wish me luck getting up early enough tomorrow to be successful with all the things I should do then. Goodnight!

it's coming down to nothing more than apathy

Sorry for not blogging last night - I was insanely tired, and I'll insanely tired again, so this will be brief.

I flew into SF yesterday morning, and promptly rented a car and drove straight to Oakland (aka the dirty east bay), where I had brunch with Claudia.  She was in fine form, and I loved seeing her. Then I came back to the city, took a nap, called my parents, and worked for about ninety minutes. But Chandlord rescued me from my drudgery, and we had a ridic dinner at Stinking Rose, where I'm pretty sure we sat at the same table that Katie and I sat in eighteen years ago. We also had drinks at 15 romolo, and it was all great.

Then I crashed last night, and this morning was rough, and I'm falling asleep writing this. Today I had a bunch of work, then had a leisurely dinner with Barbara and Anne in San Mateo. That did my soul a lot of good even if my body is too tired to feel supportive at the moment.

And now I really must sleep - goodnight!

how could you be so perfect for me

I got a million things done today, which is good since I'm leaving tomorrow morning and spending a week in California. The most exciting thing was that I recovered the ring that I lost two days ago. I went to Boulder around eleven, mostly to make one final search, but I decided to run my errands around Boulder so that it would not be a wasted trip if I didn't find it.

So I drove to my office (and talked to [censored]), then drove to the post office, and searched the parking lots in both places with no luck. Then I picked up some printer toner, grabbed lunch, and got my nails done. I then went to the mall, and while I was browsing, I got a phone call from the post office - I'd called them yesterday asking if they'd found a ring and they hadn't, but apparently they had it and someone was kind enough to look back through their call history and see if I was the one who called about it. Amazing.

So I went to grab the ring, then went back to the mall to run the errand I was there for (Sephora, of course) and celebrate my reunion with my ring by getting a frappuccino. Then I washed my car, drove back to Denver, and got some groceries along the way. Then I spent the evening packing and putting my house in order, and now I really need to get six hours of sleep before waking up for my flight. Goodnight!

you go to sleep dreaming how you would be a different kind if you thought you could

Today was better than yesterday, mostly because I worked from home and also saw Katie at the end of it. I had to get up early to prep my dining room for a furniture delivery - I bought a sideboard/buffet to add some storage, and it came this morning. The delivery guys only took five minutes, which was impressive, and the piece looks great.

I spent the rest of the day slogging until almost six. Then I quickly got ready and drove over to pick up Katie - we had girls' night out at Lo Stella, which is an Italian place I've wanted to try forever (esp after it was reported that Mick Jagger ate there when the Rolling Stones were in town last summer). The food was really excellent, the wine was great, and the company was perfect - having a leisurely dinner with Katie is always a treat, especially when we go deep on hot actors, embarrassing childhood memories, and overly touchy waiters.

Finally, though, I could no longer suppress my yawn, so I took Katie home and then came back to mine to crash. And now I really must sleep - goodnight!

somewhere along the way, my hopefulness turned to sadness

I had a terrible day, unfortunately. I awoke to a snow-covered world that required shoveling. I went to work and had meetings from nine to five with only a thirty minute break sometime around two. A lunch that had been billed as social turned into someone saying "I have a few slides", which turned into them asking for an impossible deliverable in the next week. Then they "graciously" gave us four more days, but two of them are the weekend. And then I left work and somehow lost my favorite ring, which was insult to injury.

But I had pizza and wine and journaling at Blue Pan, which made things a lot better. And I'm going to bed at ten, which should make things even better. And even if they aren't better, I'm going to San Francisco on Sunday and will see a few friends when I'm not slogging at a multi day offsite next week, so that should help. Goodnight!

march with me and the borogoves

I slept for approximately ten hours last night, and while I still feel like I could succumb to a cold at any moment, I'm sure that helped. I woke up and made it to the office by 8:40ish, which meant I had time for breakfast, which was key (even though I haven't been eating breakfast) because our free lunch today was my least favorite in their usual rotation (fish stew, gross).

I also made it in time for approximately nine hours of meetings, although I had a couple of breaks in there to get some work done. I had planned to stay relatively late to wrap up a necessary task and then grab takeout on the way home, but it snowed (lightly but relentlessly) most of the day, so I decided to get out of the office and scrape off my car while there was still a bit of daylight. It took an hour and eight minutes to get home, which is almost thirty minutes more than usual - but it's still about half the time it used to take to get home if it was raining in SF, so I guess this is still fine.

When I got home, I did some stuff around the house, ate a piece of peanut butter toast, journaled a bit, and then did about ninety minutes of day job stuff to complete a task that had to be done today. And now I really need to sleep and hope that I continue to stave off this cold - goodnight!

i won't ever be your cornerstone

I was dragging all day, which makes sense since I didn't get enough sleep and had too many things that I didn't really want to do at work. But I journaled before work and still made it into the office by nine. I also slogged most of the day, so I don't think I'll get fired. Then I came home, messed around online, emptied my dishwasher, defrosted and heated up some delish beef stew, and wrote for awhile. It wasn't enough to fully get into the story, but it was way better than nothing.

And now, even though I have a lot of work work to do, I think I'm going to call it a v. early night - I feel a bit like I had a cold coming on, which is hopefully just hypochondria, but I think an emergen-c and nine hours of sleep would help a lot. Goodnight!

a single book of matches, gonna burn what's standing in the way

I'm back in Colorado as of an hour and a half ago, and it's time for bed since I very unfortunately have to go to work tomorrow. But today was a really fun last day in Florida. We cleaned up, packed up, and vacated the cabin a bit before eleven, and then those of us who were left (Terry, Amy, Lisa, and I) took the boat to Magic Kingdom. Since Terry could get us in for free, it was worth going for a few hours. We wandered around and shopped and watched the animatronic country bears, which felt really ridiculous and dated. Then Terry and Amy left for the airport, and Lisa and I spent a couple of hours in line for Space Mountain. The ride was fun, although riding a roller coaster in the dark is a bit more intense than ones that go outside.

Then we watched another animatronic show - the Carousel of Progress, which felt really weird as well. And then we took the boat back to the hotel, grabbed a late lunch at the bar, grabbed our bags, and went to the airport. I had just enough time to call my parents before I said goodbye to Lisa and boarded my flight. The flight was uneventful and I mostly slept, even though I should have worked - so that's another reason to sleep now, since I must get up early tomorrow to finish some stuff.

But even though I'm wrecked, the weekend was worth it - I had a ton of fun and loved getting to spend a weekend with Terry and our mutual friends, so it was a holiday very well spent. Goodnight!

let the vibes slide over me

We had another magical day today, although nothing could be as magical as yesterday. I awoke early enough to grab a coffee and journal before getting ready, which made everything better. Then we had a "character brunch" in Disney Boardwalk, which basically meant that we overpaid for eggs so that we could meet Ariel, Prince Eric, Rapunzel, and Flynn Ryder (the hero from Tangled). It was actually pretty fun and #worthit, although I would have enjoyed it more if I was nine.

Then we came back, relaxed around the house, relaxed even more at the pool (aided by mai tais), and then said farewell to Subz (aka Lauren) since she was leaving today. Then we drank some of the alcohol that was leftover in the cabin while going v deep into each others' lives. And then we had a delicious dinner at Jaleo in Disney Springs - it's a Jose Andres restaurant and the food was excellent, and I had a "salt air margarita" in which they added a salty foam to the top rather than salting the rim, and it was somehow magical.

And now I need to sleep - I somehow feel more prone to hangover tonight than last night, so I should sleep. Goodnight!

sipping on straight chlorine

I survived a truly magical day in the happiest place on earth. It should have been touch and go - I drank enough to deserve to feel all kinds of bad tomorrow. But we'll see whether my fate takes a dark turn overnight.

The morning started with plenty of sleep, followed by coffee from the cafe in the main lodge. I took my time getting ready today, as did we all, but we got to Epcot around 11:30. That kicked off an epic attempt to drink around the world - which in Epcot terms means having a drink in every country featured in the world showcase. There are eleven countries in world showcase, so that's obviously a feat.

I think Lisa and I are the only ones who actually had alcohol everywhere, but most people came pretty close (or had multiple drinks at dinner). This is how the day went:

1) Canada. I had ice wine, which was two ounces and very sweet and a good start to the day

2) England. I had a frozen cider and blackberry slushie. I also discovered really early that my inability to drink beer put me at a distinct disadvantage because I couldn't go low-ABV quite as effectively as some people. Also I wanted to buy everything in all the shops but refrained

3) France. Delicious Bordeaux. Wanted more but had to pick up the pace bc we were dallying too much. But we also did the Beauty and the Beast sing along, which was literally the only thing we did today besides eat and drink

4) Morocco. We stopped for lunch here, so I had a plate of fries and meat, along with a glass of sangria that wasn't worth it

5) Japan. This whole thing was a mistake. I got sushi in the middle of a hot day in Florida, and then got sake in a little wooden box. They wrote my name in Japanese on the box, so that was nice I guess. But I realized the sake might kill me, so I tossed most of it into a bush on the way out

6) AMERICA. Frozen lemonade with bourbon, which was really not that good. But Amy got a turkey leg that was really delicious and possibly the best food of the day, so I guess America's still got it

7) Italy. Rosé. Sparkling. Delightful. Mostly just made me want to go back to Italy for real

8) Germany. Riesling. We were all fading and so we sat around a table here for awhile. Also I really despised the group in front of us, who were drunken messes, unlike us

9) China had a surprise sleeper hit: the Tipsy Ducks in Love, which had coffee, tea, bourbon, chocolate, and cream. It sounded awful and tasted strangely delicious, and it will probably play an outsized role in tomorrow's headache

10) Norway. I needed to pace myself at this point, so I just finished the diet coke that I'd bought in Germany.

11) Mexico. We had an hour to kill, so Subz and I hung out and talked and didn't drink anything. Then we all rendezvoused for our dinner reservation at Hacienda de San Angel. It was really excellent Mexican food, and my chile relleno was great. I nursed a single margarita there, although I was also forced into a shot - the manager came over to greet us bc Terry is important, and he brought us shots for free, but he dropped a couple. He sent a server with replacements and he dropped one too - the glasses had surprisingly not flat bases. But the third time was a charm, unfortunately, so I had to do a tequila shot. Still, Mexico was as great as expected.

12) Norway again. Lisa and I had both skipped Norway and it was clearly weighing on us, so we backtracked and picked up a viking coffee. This was basically Irish coffee (but the Irish have a lot of viking influence so I'll allow it). It was hot and sweet and alcoholic, and another surprise winner

13) Fireworks. We got to watch the fireworks over the lagoon from a special section near England, which was delightful. And then, suddenly, our day was done.

So we got back to the hotel around 9:30-9:45, hung out, and generally drank water and took ibuprofen. It was a super fun day and Epcot was great for a bachelorette - Terry looked super cute in her bride mouse ears, and the group seemed to have an awesome time.

Tomorrow is more chill than today, but it will still require stamina... So I think it's time to go to bed. Goodnight!

rise up

After getting very little sleep last night, I awoke before five feeling delirious. But then I rallied, showered, and drove to the airport, where I had time to grab coffee before boarding. I did about forty minutes of work while sitting on the tarmac, and then I spent the plane ride dozing and drinking Bailey's to handle the turbulence as we approached the Eastern seaboard.

When we got to Orlando, I got an Uber and got to the hotel, where I was the first to arrive. I had a late lunch and was finishing up just when Terry got here, so we had an hour to ourselves to catch up over margaritas before everyone else showed up. I'm at Disney World for Terry's bachelorette, and we have a lovely cabin and a ton of fun planned.

Tonight was super chill - we're all coming from the West except for Terry, so everyone had gotten up early for flights. Luckily Kasey came in a day early and picked up groceries, liquor, etc, as well as decorations. So we spent the evening making pizza, drinking, and playing some super fun/ridiculous games.

And now, even though I could recap a lot more, it's time to sleep - goodnight!

remember when the boys were all electric

I feel like I should have gone to bed four hours ago, but it's only eleven. However, I probably should have gone to bed four hours ago - I'm leaving for Florida early tomorrow, which means I need to get up in less than six hours. And unfortunately I'm going to have to do some day job work on the plane, although I'm hopeful that I can do what needs to get done and then enjoy the rest of my long weekend.

sssanyway, today was fine - I was a little late for my first meeting due to worse-than-expected traffic after better-than-expected snow, but the person I was late for forgave me. Then I slogged all day, with a break to go to the dentist (which doesn't feel like it should count as a break). I also dealt with an ongoing sewer gas issue in my office, which is definitely not my job and yet has somehow become my job (I have mostly made Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles references while sending emails about the sewer, and today blamed the fiasco on Shredder, so I think I'm making good choices here). And I got to grab some late afternoon snacks (which they have on Thursdays) - today's theme was Carnival, so the food was Brazilian, and the little pao de queijo (cheesy bread bites that are naturally gluten free) are one of my favorite snacks they make.

Then I talked to Isaac for a bit before driving home and spending most of the evening packing and taking care of last minute things around the house. And now I really should sleep - goodnight!

i am not standing still, i am lying in wait

Today wasn't a day for productivity - it was apparently a day for headaches and wine and reading half of THE RAVEN BOYS by Maggie Stiefvater. I mean, I did go to work, and I was productive for about five hours...but I had a raging headache by two p.m., and it was about to snow, and so I drove home and did the rest of my meetings from the comfort of my home office. This turned out to be a wise move, since the snow kept coming for most of the late afternoon / evening and would have rendered my commute miserable.

Around 5:30 I was done with meetings, and then I took care of some tings around the house and also talked to my parents. Then I ate leftover chicken tortilla soup (this was a particularly delicious batch and I'm sad that it's done), drank a bunch of wine, and read for most of the evening. I've heard good things about THE RAVEN BOYS and they weren't mistaken, so I'll have to remind myself that I can read on the plane Friday so that I'm not tempted to stay up all night tonight or tomorrow when I have to a) work and b) pack.

And now I should sleep, since it would behoove me to go to the office early due to what is likely to be a bad snow-induced traffic debacle - goodnight!

you used to get it in your fishnets

I had a fairly terrible day, which started out badly because it snowed enough overnight to make my commute a nightmare. I got up this morning and journaled and was feeling somewhat relaxed, but that was quickly destroyed when it took an hour and twenty minutes to get to work instead of the usual 40-45. I was at risk of being late for my ten a.m. meeting, which would have been really bad because it was important...but I made it, so my reputation lives to see another day.

Then I slogged the rest of the day, but I cut out early to get a mani/pedi in preparation for my trip to Florida this weekend. Then I went to REI to get a backpack, also for Florida. Then I grabbed food at Motomaki, drove back to Denver (this time took 34min, which is more like it), and spent the evening tidying up my house, putting away all the clean clothes strewn on my guest bed, taking care of some travel arrangements, etc.

And now, after this v. boring and non-informative blog post, I'm going to bed - goodnight!

now you only get it in your nightdress

I got up and wrote this morning before work, which was one of the only saving graces of the day. Then I drove to the office, had a bunch of meetings, and skedaddled around 4 because it was supposed to snow tonight. And it definitely snowed - my neighbor has already shoveled once, so we'll see how much I need to do in the morning before work. But I went out and gave him a gift card when I caught him shoveling, since he's shoveled for me more than once - not that I want to take advantage of his generosity, but I definitely will if I'm allowed to.

Anyway, I got home pretty fast because I think everyone was afraid of snow and so had left early. I also talked to [censored] a bit on the way, then came into my house and did very little of what I had intended to do tonight (beyond eating leftover chicken tortilla soup, which I definitely intended to do). But I did about an hour and a half of work, which will put me in better shape for tomorrow. And now I need to sleep rather desperately - goodnight!

we got a hot crustacean band

At least I wrote several pages today (some in the morning, some in the evening), so no matter what else happened, I've got that going for me. The rest of the day was pretty quiet, though. I spent the morning researching some stuff online (and writing), then made eggs and hashbrowns for breakfast/lunch. I also did some stuff around the house, shoveled more snow on my back patio, and chipped up a whole bunch of ice so that I don't eat it on the pavement between my house and the garage. It snowed a few more inches last night / this morning, which was another unwelcome development - and it might snow again tomorrow night. But in five days I'll be in Florida, so hopefully I can survive until then.

At some point I threw together a batch of chicken tortilla soup - it was pretty easy since I had all the necessary veggies already chopped and bagged in the freezer, so I just had to mince some garlic, cut up some tortillas, and cook some chicken in my instant pot. While the soup was cooking, I talked to my parents, who were in fine form (and watching a documentary about rail travel, as we all do). And then I spent the evening being lazy on twitter + texting with [censored] + writing, so I'll take it.

But now, it's ten p.m., and I had vowed to go to bed earlier than usual tonight so that I can get up and write before work. Wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

bringing darkness from above

I had a decent day - possibly too lazy, but no regrets on that front. I shoveled a bunch of snow, did a bunch of laundry, dealt with an annoying tech support return, made a nice egg and cheese sandwich for lunch, journaled, did some stuff around the house, and took a v nice bubble bath. I probably could have kept lazing around all night...

... But Barbara is in town visiting her daughter, whom I work with, so I went over to hang out with them. Kristen has a really nice place, and so we had a drink there before going to dinner at Grind. It was a fun visit - I just saw Barbara last week, obviously, but we hadn't gotten to debrief, so I was really looking forward to one last denoument before being fully back into the work grind.

Eventually we had to part ways, and I stopped by whole foods to grab groceries, since it might snow again tomorrow. And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

trampoline

It snowed a million inches here today, so I stayed home to avoid getting stuck in awful traffic on 36. But I wasn't lazy - I got up at six and started answering email at 6:30, and I worked straight until four (with a break for a shower). When I was done, I had to shovel - my neighbor had shoveled me out this morning, but we got way more snow during the day, so I made an effort. But it snowed another couple of inches tonight, so I'm sure tomorrow will be painful.

But that's tomorrow's problem. Today, as soon as I was done shoveling, I rendezvoused with Katie, rescuing her from her family and taking her out. We went to a nearby place that was good for wine but unfortunately weirdly bad for food, but we had an awesome time and went deep on many products, so it was #worthit.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

damn mrs. perkins again

If the week before vacation is always super productive, the week after vacation is a return to a crushing sense of ennui. I feel like a disaffected Regency heiress, but without the accent or the dresses. Everything is dull and boring, and I would rather lie in bed and read novels and wait for the maid to bring me tea. But there is no maid and I have to do my job, so I guess I'll persevere. 

So today, needless to say, was blah. But I stocked up on wine on the way home, since my cellar was running low. I also talked to Drewbaby while I was driving home, which was fun - he has moved from Texas to Fargo, which must be a rude fucking awakening since the wind chill was -5 when we talked.

When I got home, I brought my wine in and then promptly walked down the street to El Camino, where I continued to befriend the bartender (Nick) while eating nachos, drinking margaritas, and journaling. Tequila is a temporary cure for ennui, but it made me sleepy - so after doing a couple of minor day job things, I decided to call it an early night. It's snowing rather heavily, so I'm not sure if I'll go into the office tomorrow, but we'll see. Goodnight!

if you can pay the right price, your evening will be nice

I need to go to bed immediately - I spent too much time on my laptop tonight doing none of what I intended to do (although I did apply to renew my Global Entry status, which has been on my list and definitely needed to get done). Today was fine, and I made it into the office for the first time since I went on vacation - but I had to do some work before going to the office, and I had a call with someone in Japan at 7pm, so I was not feeling all that great about my boundaries. But tomorrow is another day - goodnight!

your voice explodes inside my head

I stayed home again today due to the snow - it was probably overkill, and my inner Iowan was laughing at me. But the office wasn't serving breakfast this morning, so really, what was the point?

So I got up and wrote, then showered, then worked all day. By five-ish I was done, and I was going to write or do some more work or whatever, but instead I ended up talking to [censored] for a couple of hours, since we were overdue for a catch-up. Then I spent the rest of the night eating leftover beef stew (even better tonight), taking care of tings around the house, messing around online, etc.

And now, after that v. boring post, I'm going to go to bed and hope that I can get into the office tomorrow. Goodnight!

i can't hold back

I stayed home from work today because it was snowing and I feel like I might be getting a cold. This was probably not wise from a mood standpoint, since I was too lazy sitting in my house; but it was almost certainly wise from a safety standpoint, since the roads were bad and they closed the office early as a result.

So I wrote when I woke up, drank some emergen-c, and then worked most of the day. But I took a nap instead of eating lunch (to help with the cold) and then stopped sometime after five. I then spent some quality time making instant pot beef stew - it was perfect for my cold + the cold outside. And then I went deep on watching the debacle of the Iowa caucuses, which just makes me sad. And now I am going to go to bed - goodnight!

rebels and mutineers

I'm back in Colorado and I'm pretty sad about it. I woke up this morning early enough to sit on the beach and commune with the waves for thirty minutes before getting ready, and getting up early was #worthit - it was gorgeous by the water at 7:30am, and I felt a lot of peace and eagerness for the writing year ahead.

But all good things end, and as I typed that a gust of wind just hit my windows - the early harbinger of a precipitous drop in temperatures and an expected six inches of snow coming tomorrow and Tuesday. It was a gorgeous day when I landed in Denver, and I wore a vest and a tshirt when I ran out to get groceries tonight, but the snow will remind me that my real life does not involve nearly enough beaches.

sssanyway. After sitting on the beach this morning, I showered, finished throwing stuff in my bag, and then hung out / cleaned up / wrapped things up with my writing group. The last seven of us left a little before 10am, and I'm sad it's over. I drove Barbara S and Jules to the airport, dropped off the rental car, and parted ways with them since we were all on different airlines. Then I checked my bag, went through security, grabbed coffee, called my parents, and picked up a gluten-free sandwich before boarding my flight. The flight was completely uneventful; I wrote / dozed the whole way, which was nice. And when I got home, I mostly lazed about and watched the Super Bowl, although I made a grocery run at halftime due to the impending weather situation. But that means I was home to watch the fourth quarter, which was thrilling - even though I've lived in SF for half my life, I had to cheer for the Chiefs, and I'm glad they won.

And now, I should sleep so I can attempt to get back into the grind tomorrow (and write beforehand) - goodnight!

we're waxing down our surfboards

Today was a bit surreal - I lost my uncle a year ago today, while on this same retreat. That's probably why I spent slightly too much time sitting on the sand and staring at the ocean this morning, and probably why I drank slightly too much wine tonight. Life moves in mysterious, unexpected, inevitable patterns, and this pattern and this loss has particularly sucked.

So, I spent most of the day avoiding my feelings, which is precisely the opposite of what is needed when attempting to write a book. But I got up early and sat on the sand and journaled for a couple of hours, which made my heart feel a bit lighter. And I wrote about four pages this afternoon, and discovered some new things about one of my characters, which I will totally take.

But by five o'clock I was ready to throw in the towel, so I took a quick shower, then took a glass of wine out to our deck to watch the sunset. It was a gorgeous end to a really lovely week - I feel like I got into the story I'm trying to tell really well, and also made some business decisions, and also enjoyed time with my friends and got a much-needed disconnection from my day job. So, all in all, no regrets - if anything, the regret is that I'm not staying for another week.

The evening was also a good way to wrap things up - we ordered in takeout Mexican food, and then sat around until 10:30 or so and talked about a variety of random and fun topics. And then, it was time to say our farewells and pack up - most of us are leaving at the same time in the morning but it doesn't hurt to hug it out now.

And now, I should sleep - goodnight!

would you stay if she promised you heaven

Today was totally idyllic. I woke up and went straight to the beach (after putting on pants), where I sat on the sand for a couple of hours and journaled about my book and watched the waves. Then I quickly showered and snuck out for lunch with Grace - we haven't really hung out much on this retreat simply because our schedules are different, so we spent some quality time together today. Of course it feels like sneaking around because the group does a lot of things together, but of course it wasn't controversial (although Barbara was upset when she found out that I had gelato with Grace and she didn't, and the perceived insult was compounded by the fact that I don't really crave ice cream and so tossed half of mine on the way home).

So lunch with Grace was awesome, and I'm glad we hung out. Then we came back and I spent a few hours in the gazebo with Anne and Barbara and Veronica and whoever else came by. I did some more journaling and got a lot of sun, and that was all what I needed.

We had dinner tonight at Bluewater Grill, where I talked to Christie and Anne and Jules while eating an excellent swordfish and drinking a mai tai. When we got home, we all talked for awhile in the living room, and then V, Anne, and I adjourned to our floor, where we went deep on life + ridiculous Wikipedia entries. And now I need to sleep - goodnight!