can't sleep no more, it's a perfect storm

Well, today was awful. I normally stay mostly apolitical and mostly unemotional here, but this is ultimately my blog, and I would not be true to myself if I didn't say some of what I'm feeling.

And what I'm feeling is: "I fucking warned you that Trump will risk pushing us into an authoritarian nightmare."

Using tear gas to clear out peaceful protestors (including a priest at the church) before curfew so that he could take a fucking photo is just another step towards normalizing using force against civilians who are protesting him. And it's not a coincidence that the world leaders he most praises are "strong" men like Putin, Kim, Erdogan, etc.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them. When Trump agitates for violent responses against "blue states", believe him. And even if he doesn't send troops, he's got plenty of "lone wolf" supporters who will do it for him...which is going to make for a long, hot summer.

But those of you who agree with me don't need an I told you so. Those who don't agree think I don't know what I'm talking about -- despite the fact that I spent two years researching a whole fucking honors thesis about totalitarianism. I could tell you all about the fascist playbooks used to drum up fear of communism + co-opt most of the German evangelical church into supporting Hitler outright (because they were anti-semitic) or reluctantly (because they thought he was the lesser of two evils, since communism is *clearly* more evil than murdering people because of their race). I could tell you how fear of communism was one factor in fascism taking root (racist anti-Semitism and "economic anxiety", plus a desire to make Germany great again being the others). I could tell you how Hitler used every opportunity to frame the communists for violence, which gave him a public mandate to destroy them. And by the time he was done with that, he'd consolidated power so completely that there was no one left to do anything about it.

Which, half of you will see as a clear corollary to today, and half of you will say I've got completely backwards.

But like I said, half of you are already aware, and the other half will dismiss all of this... despite the fact that I've, quite literally and without exaggeration, spent more time reading about, researching, and writing about totalitarianism and the descent into authoritarianism than anyone who reads my blog. We are as close to that abyss as we've been at any point in the last fifty years. And I'm feeling increasingly convinced that we're not going to make it to the election without some major violence, beyond what's happening now. Today had a very Reichstag fire feel, which is not something I ever thought I'd say.

So, I'm going to bed. It's not a good night and I'm not going to pretend it is.