just when you think that you're in control...just when you get on a roll

Today was entirely dedicated to getting through some long-standing items on my to-do list. This is all going to be entirely boring for you, so I'll gloss over it - I had breakfast down the street, did some banking-related activities, did some clothes-purchasing activities, came home and said goodbye to Terry's family, and then spent the afternoon cleaning out my linen closet. 'Linen closet' is a bit of a misnomer since it's also the closet where I keep my makeup, toiletries, first aid items, purses, and gym stuff, and it had all become a horrifying, unnavigable mess in the last few months as I kept dumping stuff into it and ignoring it in the interest of staying focused on my book. But it's clean now, and while I have to haul several bags of stuff downstairs tomorrow, this is all a good thing.

But I stopped at six, took a shower, and rendezvoused with Kathia for dinner at Aix and a drink after at Nectar. I hadn't seen her in three weeks, and the last time I saw her was the first time I'd seen her since before I went to Germany and she went to Italy, so we were v. long overdue for a catch-up. This was properly accomplished over dinner (I am appalled at myself for becoming someone who eagerly orders the beet salad), and we continued by drinking wine at Nectar (where they attempted to overserve us, but I walked away from a half-full glass so that I could maintain my intended limit in hopes of sleeping tonight and working tomorrow).

And now I must sleep; I still have a lot of random stuff that I want to take care of tomorrow, although the most important task is working on the paperback formatting for my latest release (which I can perhaps do before work a couple of mornings this week, but it would be a good idea to start on it tomorrow). Goodnight!

outside it starts to pour

Today was a perfectly relaxing day, but I think I shall start being productive tomorrow. I woke up later than I thought I would but earlier than I wanted to and drove to the south bay to train with Alyssa, since I'd already missed one session this week and didn't want to miss another. She was in good form, and she also forced me up to swinging the 24kg bell, which was an interesting experience (interesting in that it didn't kill me, so I think that's a good thing?). After training, we had lunch together at Joanie's since I didn't have to work and she was done for the day, and we caught up on life and my goals for the next few months, which was v. nice. Then I grabbed a coffee at Philz, drove home, talked to Terry's family, and immediately vacated the premises for a waxing appointment.

But my vacating wasn't long enough, and when I came back they were all still here [note: this is not actually a hardship, but since I'm feeling rather hermity, I like to pretend this is the biggest tragedy ever]. So I went with Terry and a couple of her female relatives to get pedicures, which was lovely. Then I vacated the premises again to have dinner by myself, since I really did need some solitude. I ended up at my favorite Greek place, where it became clear that I've successfully befriended the bartender since I only paid for two glasses of wine, but had something more like four glasses of wine + a tiny glass of dessert-style sweet Riesling (note: I did not ask for the extra wine or the 'dessert'). This was all much appreciated, of course. I also spent some quality time reading on my tablet; Alyssa recommended some self-help book that I'm still on the fence over, but it might be thought-provoking, so I'm going to keep going for awhile.

Then I came home, hung out with Terry's family for a couple of hours, and am now going to sleep so that I can attempt productivity tomorrow. I have nothing truly pressing, but I'd like to cross some longstanding life to-dos off my list, so we'll see what I can accomplish in the rain. Goodnight!

i hate the beach, but here i stand in california with my toes in the sand

I'm happy to report that I'm back from Hawaii, miraculously on time and somehow not sunburned despite spending four days doing nothing but subjecting my alabaster skin to the sun. As much as I was ready to go home, I will admit that it was a little sad that I didn't get to lie in the sun anymore today - I had to leave the hotel around ten to take Heather (aka dear respected madam) to her new hotel on the other side of the island before driving back to the airport and returning the rental car. But Heather and I had breakfast together before parting ways, so that was lovely. And the rest of my day was entirely uneventful - I was ridiculously early to the airport, which was sucked up by the place where I ate lunch taking 45mins to make my food, so I didn't really sit around at the gate before boarding. I had used miles to upgrade to first class, which was a totally winning move - that gave me five hours in a little cocoon of solitude to do some work and continue my daydreaming.

And now that I'm home safe in my own bed, with San Francisco's fog blanketing the city and erasing all memory of the sun, it's time for bed - I have grand plans to train with Alyssa tomorrow and then start repairing the shambles I've made of my life by ignoring everything but the book and the day job for the last two (three, four, six) months, so wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

we gonna party like it's your birthday

Today was a perfectly lazy end to an exceedingly lazy vacation. We woke up relatively early and had breakfast, and then I laid by the pool and didn't do anything other than reapply sunscreen until three pm. I think it's good that I'm going home tomorrow since I would get bored of lying around and being in my own head if I repeated this again, but this had been an awesome break from everything. And I'm definitely going to miss the sun, particularly since it looks like it's going to storm in the bay area this weekend.

But I'm ready to go home, and I'm ready to not travel quite so much next year (although I always say that, so let's see what I actually do). Heather and I ended the trip on a high note - we went to a luau at Lahaina, where they had a big buffet and a lot of awesome dancing. Heather's cousin works there, so our seats were in a great location...but unfortunately we shared a table with three newlywed couples, which was nigh on insufferable since they spent the whole conversation comparing notes about their weddings and engagements. Ugh. But the dancing was great and it was good to get out of the hotel area, so it was definitely worth going to.

But now I must sleep - my flight is at a reasonable hour tomorrow, but I'm taking Heather to another hotel across the island first since she's staying a couple of extra days, so I can't dilly-dally. Goodnight! And have a great thanksgiving!

i'm just gonna shake shake shake shake shake

First, allow me to say, if you haven't figured it out already, that all entries in Hawaii are typed on my phone. So if you see weird typos, don't assume I'm failing to shower you with my usual attention to detail!

Second, today was again incredibly lazy. Heather and I had breakfast, and then I laid out by the pool for a couple of hours, daydreamed about Rafe, and contemplated life. Then I had a spa treatment, which was completely perfect. Heather had gotten a couple as well, and we rendezvoused in the quiet room after and chatted until we were ready to leave. Then we had an early dinner/drinks in the lounge before coming back to the room and reading - I finished the latest Kresley Cole book, which I'd been looking forward to for four years and so was, sadly, a bit disappointed by.

But now I'm going to continue my relaxation and go to bed - goodnight!

or it can be over, or we can just leave it here

Today was exactly the repeat of yesterday that I had hoped for - I got nine hours of sleep instead of five, I didn't drink enough to get dehydrated, and it was all v wonderful. Heather and I had breakfast together, and then I took a walk (shorter than it probably should have been, but I felt smug anyway) before putting on my swimsuit, dousing myself in sunscreen, and worshipping Apollo.

That continued throughout the day, with a bit of reading (about Charlemagne, because I'm a dork), some drinking of pina coladas some pool time, some lunch, and a whole lot of listening to music and letting my thoughts wander. I came in around five (with only a bit of burn on my chest, which is a miracle), took a short, read, curled my hair, and generally got ready.

Our destination tonight was Nick's Fish Market, with was awesome - my snapper was perfect, and the wine was delightful. And the company was awesome too, of course. But now I feel like sleeping so I can hit the relaxation even harder tomorrow - goodnight!

but she still likes to dance with my punchlines

Today was an extraordinarily lazy day, even by vacation standards. It started far earlier than intended - I woke up at six, after 5.5hrs of sleep, and couldn't go back to sleep because my body is insisting on becoming a morning person. Stupid. So Heather and I hung out on the balcony for a bit, then had breakfast (mostly good, although they refused to serve me a mimosa because I'd left my ID in the room and I apparently look twelve without makeup).

And then we spent the entire rest of the day by the pool. I had 3.5 mai tais, and yet I managed to not burn myself (even when I fell asleep) or drown, and I had my usual call with my parents, so I felt like it was quite successful.

But I was wiped out from lack of sleep and dehydration, so even though I showered and made myself up, I was quite happy to encourage Heather to order room service instead. And I started reading a Kresley Cole book just to keep myself awake, since I desperately wanted to sleep at eight pm and knew that giving into that desire was madness. But now that I've made it to 10:30, I'm going to go to bed and hope tomorrow is a glorious repeat of today (but with more sleep and water). Goodnight!

caught in the undertow

I'm in Maui, bitches! Maybe that's not a kind thing to say to those of you who aren't here, but #sorrynotsorry. Today was entirely taken up with getting ready for and leaving on my trip. I got up reasonably early and packed, then had brunch with Terry at my favorite cafe (where Tony, the owner, gave us mimosas for thanksgiving). After brunch, I sped over to my nail place to get them to fix a premature chip in my manicure (I'm insufferable these days), picked up some last minute tings, and then did an hour of day job work to leave things in good shape for my absence.

And then I went to the airposte, sped through security, ate a late lunch, grabbed some coffee, and departed slightly late but mostly without incident. I spent the plane ride drinking a glass of champagne (well, cava, but I can suffer pedestrian sparkling wines occasionally) and reading a book - I got all the way through THE COLDEST GIRL IN COLDTOWN, a vampire YA that I really mostly liked. I finished it at the Maui airport while waiting for Heather, who landed twenty minutes after me...and then our vacation began in earnest.

We found the rental car with nowhere near as much trouble as the experience I had picking up a rental car in Germany last month, then drove to our hotel. We are staying in a deliciously fancy place, where we had deliciously fancy cocktails and I embraced the fact that I may be the only person I know who genuinely enjoys mai tais. We also ate a late dinner while beginning to catch up - I've barely seen Heather (aka dear respected madam) in months, so our days of solitude together are long overdue.

But now it's 12:30am here, which is 2:30am in California, and I'm desperate to sleep so that I can spend tomorrow pursuing either cirrhosis or melanoma. Goodnight!

every second i waste is more than i can take

The only thing that matters is that I'm going to Hawaii tomorrow. YAY. My flight isn't until fourish, which is good since I haven't started packing and still have some work to do. But today was long and somewhat tiring - my workout with Alyssa was good enough that I'll probably be sore tomorrow, and then I slogged quite diligently until it was time to leave the office to beat traffic. And then I spent the evening running errands and having dinner with Terry, all of which was necessary to get me ready for my trip.

But now I should sleep - even though it's still early, I'm too wiped out to do anything effectively, and I'd rather get nine hours of sleep and then take care of business. Goodnight!

the cold never bothered me anyway

If every day was like today, I would probably quit my job and go off the grid forevermore. Not that the job itself was that bad (although it wasn't pretty) - the real issue was my commute, which took an hour and twenty minutes when I left my house at 6:30, and took another hour and twenty minutes when I left my office at 8pm. Ugh. The rain today was a good thing, but it made for a miserable day...

...but that's all you get tonight, since I need to do it again tomorrow. And then the next day I get to go to Hawaii, which will be infinitely better. Goodnight!

i'm friends with the monster that's under my bed

I had a fairly awesome day, all things considered - I was able to sleep until 7:30, and then I took a single meeting from nine to ten before calling my father to wish him happy birthday (happy birthday, Dad!). Then I left for my team's offsite in Half Moon Bay (with a quick stop to get coffee, followed by several stops to pick up various coworkers in the city on the way).

The offsite actually went smashingly, despite the weather - it rained for the first time in forever, which was v. poor timing, but everyone seemed to have a great time despite it. We had lunch at Sam's Chowder House - the food was delish, and we had a room to ourselves, and I enjoyed the wine (which makes sense, since I picked it). We also played a trivia game about the team, which was just enough enforced team fun to feel okay without being onerous. Then we adjourned to the beach for ten minutes to say we did it, but as it had begun to rain, ten minutes was more than enough. Instead, we went down the road to Half Moon Bay Brewing Company, where we hung out in the bar, and where some people played games while others talked and drank, etc.

So that was all perfectly lovely. We left Half Moon Bay around 4:15, and I was home by 5:30 (it would have been a lot sooner, since there was no traffic, but I had to drop all these fools off in different corners of the city). Then I had an hour to mess around before going around the corner to have dinner with Jenni - I hadn't seen her in many months, which is crazy, and so we were very long overdue for a catch-up. We accomplished this over wine and salad at Ottimista Enoteca, and are now committed to getting together and catching up again after the holidays. Then I came home, tried out my new curling iron (success), and am now going to take my curly-haired self to bed so I can get up super early and beat traffic. Goodnight!

come on baby in our dreams, we can live our misbehavior

My headache is still going strong after a week of mostly-headachy situations, but I'm hoping that some relaxation at my team's offsite tomorrow will help. Granted, it's probably going to rain and ruin everything, but at least I can sleep in a bit since I'm leaving from San Francisco rather than having to navigate my horrendous commute. Today was mostly okay, though; I took two hours of meetings from home, drove down and trained with Alyssa, showered, had lunch, did a bit of work, and then took some much-needed moments of solitude to grab coffee from another building. And then I had meetings the rest of the day, but I didn't murder (or even want to murder!) anyone during them, so I think that's a good thing?

But then I had a v. lovely dinner with Joann; we tried to go to our usual sushi place, but it apparently closed down, so we ended up with Chinese instead. Our conversation was by turns hilarious and heartwrenching, and it was great to hang out with her (as it always is). And now I'm going to try to get nine hours of sleep and hope it kills my headache - goodnight!

if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all

I had a smashing headache all day today, which was only relieved by taking four ibuprofen at lunch - but I can't keep taking that much ibuprofen or else it will destroy my stomach, so I'm going to have to find some other way to clear the stress. It probably didn't help that I only got six hours of sleep tonight, so I'm going to rectify that by going to bed at nine p.m. like an octogenarian.

But the day was kind of aight, I guess; I went in early and grabbed a latte before doing a bit of stuff for my own life, and then slogged through meetings, etc. until five. My team had a bake-off, which I didn't participate in since I was lazy this weekend - and I'm glad I didn't participate, since someone sabotaged the voting, which was annoying but also something I didn't really have the energy to intervene in. And to be fair, the voting process was very ill-defined and ripe for sabotage, but still. There were other, far more annoying things going on, but a bake-off is fairly non-confidential and non-controversial, so I'll just chalk that up as the only upsetting thing that happened and leave you in perpetual suspense about the rest of it.

The drive home took an hour and a half, but I didn't shoot myself, so that was great. Then I went to my favorite French place, which may have been ill-advised since I just wanted to get some work done and instead ended up talking to the manager the whole time. Oops. And now I'm going to go to bed and set the intention of waking up tomorrow without a headache so that I can get shit done and stop being annoyed. Goodnight!

erdy flerdy borg borg borg

I finished the weekend in style, let me tell you. I went to the grocery store relatively early this morning, where I threw money at the problem of tonight's dinner by buying fancy cheeses and jams and wines so that I could hoodwink my guests into thinking I had expended some effort toward the task of entertaining them. Then I went to my favorite mani/pedi place, where I threw money at the problem of trying to look like a real girl instead of a crazed hermit troll. And then, once I looked like a real girl again, I went to the florist and threw money at the problem of trying to make my home look like a home instead of a cave where I hide from sunlight.

sssanyway, after throwing money at a lot of problems, I had a v. late lunch, threw some more money at the problem of not having plaid pants (solved!), and then came home, cleaned my room, folded some laundry, and talked to my parents. And then I prepared for the main event - family dinner to celebrate the launch of my latest book.

Family dinner was the same as always, which meant that it was a special and highly ridiculous evening full of merriment, embarrassment, and general contentment with life. We had a full house (Terry (obvi), Lauren (aka Subz), Nathan, Chandlord (aka Chandlord), John, Jess, and Adit), and the conversation was all v. entertaining (particularly when Nathan, in all seriousness, suggested that I write choose your own adventure romance novels, which left everyone else dying since Adit has been pushing this idea for over four years without Nathan realizing it). Then, to honor (or debase) my book launch, they took turns reading part of one of the sex scenes - this is almost becoming a tradition of sorts, which is v. strange and v. funny. Jess tried an Australian accent (A for Effort), John programmed his section to be read by a Stephen Hawking voice (which will live on in my nightmares forever), Adit critiqued every line as he read it (excruciatingly funny), and Nathan went Swedish Chef on it, which was just bizarre. So, while I was laughing so hard that I was crying, and I might have been crying because hearing a sex scene read out loud makes it all sound weird and uncomfortable, it was all v. funny.

Sadly, though, all things come to an end, and I must sleep so that I can go to work early tomorrow (stupid day job - after tonight, I either want to write Rafe's book immediately or crawl under a rock and hope no one ever reads my sex scenes again (but I think the right answer is Rafe - I happen to like my sex scenes, even if they don't stand up to the Stephen Hawking test)). Goodnight!

you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand

I did no work of any kind at all today, beyond making a to-do list. I am as shocked as you are.

I could probably leave it at that, since all of your heads have exploded from the impossibility of the earlier statement and I have no readers left, but I'll persevere for posterity. I woke up relatively early this morning and went to breakfast at my favorite cafe at 8:45ish, where I wrote the aforementioned to-do lists, wrote in my journal, and lingered over my coffee. But as I was paying, I got a text from Adit asking if I wanted to go on a hike. This is the kind of text that I usually ignore since I usually feel like I have to work, but since I was determined to relax today and knew I could only do it if I was forced to, I said yes. So he and Priyanka (and their friend Blake) picked me up, and we went over the Golden Gate to Mt. Tam to pursue our adventure.

It was a perfectly gorgeous day for this - a bit cool, but not too cool (and certainly not as cool as those of you suffering from polar vortices), and the forest was amazing. We parked and went ~3mi down Steep Ravine trail, which was, unsurprisingly, a trail down a steep ravine from the mountain to the ocean at Stinson Beach. It wasn't ridiculously crazy steep, although there was one point that required climbing down a ladder, but I was perhaps too focused on placing my feet in such a way as to not slip on a wet rock and die that I didn't look up at the redwoods as much as I probably should have. But it was a great outing, and none of us died, so that was a bonus.

When we got near the beach, we parted ways; Adit and Blake ran back up the other half of the trail to retrieve the car (fools, but I'm grateful they did it), while Priyanka and I took a leisurely stroll into Stinson Beach, split a vanilla milkshake, and sat on the beach talking about romance novels and life in general while we waited for our ride. I think we got the better end of the deal. Then we drove home, and I had exactly twenty minutes to shower off the worst of the sand and sweat before getting a massage. The massage was only aight, probably because I require a deep connection with my massage therapist and I knew within seconds that this woman wasn't it.

Yes, this entire post reinforces that I've become entirely too upscale-but-crunchy-California and must be euthanized.

sssanyway, after the massage I came home, showered again, and then dragged Terry to my favorite Greek place, where we befriended the bartender (Marco, whom I'd met before) and ate chicken and drank wine and discussed v. strange recurring nightmares. Then we came home, I finished THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS (also aight), and now I'm going to rest my legs (jawbone says I took 22000 steps today!) and sleep. Goodnight!

i still wake up, i still see your ghost

I stayed up much later than I intended, which typically only happens when I a) read a book or b) go out with Adit. In this case, I chose option a) THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS, which I'm enjoying so far - I'm about two-thirds in, and since I was in the mood for young adult fantasy, it's fitting the bill quite nicely.

It's also fitting the bill quite nicely for relaxing from my totally horrific and annoying week. Today was better in some ways, worse in others; I was able to sleep until sevenish (although I didn't quite accomplish that blessed feat), and I made it into the SF office by nine so that I could have breakfast and get some work done. My only scheduled meeting of the day went better than I expected it to (even if it means more work for me later), and then I spent some time working in the sun on one of the balconies before deciding to meet a coworker for lunch. Not the most satisfying lunch I've ever had, since I would have rather been at home (or at any of my favorite restaurants on Union Street), but I suppose the free bacon was worth it.

Then I came home with intentions to secretly slack off, but as soon as I got here I was pinged for something, which then plunged me into two hours of highly annoying conversations (interspersed with other work, since I couldn't follow up with everyone all at once). By 4ish I was nearly vibrating with anger, and I was just about to throw my laptop out the window and go on a bender when Terry arrived, fresh from NYC. We had agreed to have dinner tonight, which may have been a poor idea on her part given my general rage levels, but she rallied by five and we went to Sabrosa, where tacos and guacamole and margaritas went a long way toward restoring my equilibrium. Then we came home, I contemplated whether to do anything more fun (or at least more suitable for the life of a single person in San Francisco), and instead decided to follow my instincts and read instead.

And that's all. I was supposed to go to Portland this weekend, but I canceled in favor of doing some marketing stuff for Thorington + generally relaxing + maybe trying to get my shit together and get on top of things before I go to Hawaii next weekend. I'm v. glad I decided this - if my blog doesn't sound sufficiently relaxed this weekend, please smack me. Goodnight!

rumors follow everywhere you go

I had a v long day, but it ended well - after training with Alyssa, having a bunch of meetings, and doing some more work, I ultimately met Claudia for sushi at Wayo. It was delicious (albeit slow), and it was great to catch up again (and to know we can now catch up whenever we want!). Then we adjourned to Chandlord's, where we had wine with Vidya and Katrina while failing to help Chandlord pack.

But now I need to sleep even though I left out all the interesting parts - goodnught!

all the bad boys are standing in the shadows

Considering I worked from home today and was able to sleep in, I'm surprisingly tired - but I suppose that's to be expected since I didn't sleep much the night before. My day was mostly boring; I did a couple of meetings from home, worked on some stuff, and had a late lunch down the street at my favorite brunch place. I talked to the owner (Tony) while I was eating, whom I adore; he'd just gotten my newsletter announcing my newest book (I was supremely touched that he'd signed up for it), so he congratulated me for that, and then we talked for half an hour or so. He told me an amazing story about how his father, who was Italian but born in Australia, was deported from Australia along with his family at the start of WWII (when Tony's father would have been around six), and how they had to take a ship to Japan (on an hour's notice), followed by a train across Russia, etc., and it took them almost three months to get back to Italy. Crazytown.

Then I came home, slogged some more, and then snuck out (is it sneaking when no one cares?) to get my hair cut and my brows tinted and waxed so that I look like a real girl again. My stylist ended up curling my hair for me to show me a different way of styling it since she refused point-blank to chop it all off despite me being in the mood for it, and I liked it well enough that I bought a curling iron tonight. Ha. After the salon, I came home long enough to drop my stuff and take a power nap, and then I went to Des Amis and contemplated working but instead wrote in my journal and contemplated never working on anything ever again.

But now I must sleep if I'm to survive tomorrow - goodnight!

if i recover, will you be my comfort

Today was possibly the most brutal day I've had in months. I know it's hard to believe that, and even as I type it I'm not sure it's true. But after going to bed at nine last night like a geriatric, I woke up sometime right after midnight and didn't fall asleep again until at least three. My stomach was aching and my thought were churning, and that combination made for a night in which I got less than five hours of sleep. Ugh.

So, thus feeling not refreshed at all, I got out of bed around 5:40 and made it out the door by 6:15, which meant I made it to campus by 7:15 and had an hour to do work before starting my meetings. I also had time to grab a chicken hash with scrambled eggs, which was divine. Then I slogged through meetings before sneaking out to see Alyssa. She continues to press the nefarious kettlebell agenda, and I continue to secretly enjoy it even when I slam 12kg of weight into my wrists like an idiot.

After that, I went back to work, showered, had a couple of meetings, and then was surprised and delighted when my team brought champagne to celebrate my latest book's release. I was perhaps too tired and emotionally drained (book releases will do that to you, apparently) to fully enjoy the festivities, but champagne always makes things better (see Napoleon's quote: "in victory you deserve champagne, in defeat you need it"). Then I had another meeting before peacing out to drive home, where I took a six p.m. call that got on my last fucking nerve.

But the call ended, as all things that get on my last fucking nerve do. And so I took a ten minute nap, put on some prettier clothes, called an Uber, and met up with Lauren (aka Subz) for dinner at Troya. It was absolutely delish, although I probably would have thought Jack in the Box was absolutely delish if I'd had 2.5 glasses of zinfandel and an awesome conversation with Lauren. But I think the food was actually good, from what I remember of it. And it was so soothing to my heart and soul to hang out with Lauren, since she tends to help me find perspective on all the stupid side job stuff that comes up throughout life.

So that was all good. Then I walked home down the Fillmore steps (which always give me weird vertigo), washed my face, and then wrote this blog. And if you've read this far, you're all caught up - congrats! and goodnight!

it's such a pity, a boy so pretty

Today was ridiculously long - I left by 6:25am and didn't get home until 8:15pm, if that tells you anything. And the slogging was pretty brutal. And I'm far too tired to make sense of anything, or to be coherent, so I'm going to sleep and hope tomorrow is better. Goodnight!

if i ever did that, i think i'd have a heart attack

I know, I know - I said last night that I was going to celebrate, but I spent most of today working. Whatever. I want to get some marketing-type stuff done over the next few days so I can make the book more successful, and today was a good day for it since I didn't have day job stuff to do. So I slogged all morning and into the early afternoon - mostly updating my website, which is woefully out of date, which was an annoying but necessary task. I'm not quite done with the updates, but it's getting there. Unfortunately, I didn't get to all twenty things on my to-do list, but I have high hopes that I can get some of it done if I get to the office early...

...which means I need to go to bed right now. But suffice it to say that I didn't work *that* hard this afternoon/evening - I went to the gym, came home and showered, talked to my parents, and then met up with Kathia (remember her?) for a glass of wine. I hadn't seen her since before I left for Germany, since she was in Italy for most of the last month, and we were overdue for a catch-up. But one glass of wine turned into two glasses of wine and some champagne (mostly thanks to the owner, who kept pouring for us even though we didn't ask for it), and since I forgot to eat after the gym, I was suddenly tipsy and unable to focus on anything other than the fact that they were playing 'Gladiator' with Russell Crowe behind Kathia. Oops. But it was great to see her, and I'm looking forward to being reunited with her.

Now, though, I must sleep if I have any hope of beating traffic tomorrow - goodnight!

take it off now boy

I finally did it...Thorington is out in the wild where he belongs. You can get it now on Amazon or Kobo; the other vendors are taking their sweet time, as per usual, but it should be live everywhere in the next couple of days. I'm really happy with how it turned out, and I am crossing my fingers that it does well now that I've kicked it out of the next. The next couple of days are a stealth release while I wait for it to go live everywhere, and then I need to do some massive promoting next week to make it soar. Or something.

So obviously this was the most exciting thing (pretty much the only thing) that happened today. I woke up before seven and started working straightaway, since I wanted to get through the last pass of changes and tweak all the epubs. I got the changes done and squared away before it was time to shower and meet someone for brunch - one of the romance readers I've hung out with several times at various conferences over the years was in SF this weekend, and so she and her sister and I met up for brunch at Park Chow. It was fun to see her, and I'm glad we got to interact now since I may be cutting back on my travel plans next year and probably won't be at any big fan-focused events for awhile (short story: I'm burned out on travel and don't think I get as much return on the investment of going as it costs me in time and energy).

After that, I came home and slogged straight through to get all the epubs tweaked, upload them to all my ereaders to check the formatting, and then publish them to the various bookstores. I'm pretty efficient at it at this point, so it wasn't a long or difficult task, just vaguely annoying. By the time I was ready to leave the house, it was already live on Amazon, which I suppose my mercenary side is happy about since that's where most of the sales are...

...but then it was time to stop thinking about sales and do the relaxing thing I've been looking forward to for weeks. I had a facial with my favorite aesthetician at my salon downtown, and I got there just in time. So that was a great way to get pampered and relax a little bit after the madness of getting the book out. Then I bought groceries, came home, messed around with book stuff a bit, and then grabbed dinner at Sabrosa. I probably should have rallied and gathered some people to go out, but I'm too tired to celebrate right now, and I have a million promo tasks I want to take care of.

But this time I'm definitely going to celebrate - I learned that lesson the hard way last year, when I failed to celebrate Alex and Prudence at all and then promptly burned out as soon as I tried to start Thorington. So if you see me working all the time and not doing anything fun over the next few weeks, please smack me. Goodnight!

beneath your beautiful

If all goes as planned, I'm going to hit publish on my book tomorrow. I KNOW. That means you might get a six-hour reprieve or so before I start bitching about how hard it is to write Rafe's story, which should really excite you! Or maybe you'll get a six-week reprieve as I go into hardcore social butterfly mode to feed my starving heart and my content-deprived soul, which should really excite you since my blog posts are always better when I actually leave the house like a real human girl.

Today, thought, was a slog with some lovely socializing at the end of it. I woke up at 4:45am, laid in bed until 5:45 trying to pretend to sleep, and then got up and went to work. Leaving the house at 6:30 on a Friday meant I got there at 7:30, which enabled me to meet a coworker for coffee and get v. v. close to finishing the proofreading. I probably would have finished it if I'd been perfectly focused, but it was all good. Then I went to the office, had meetings mostly straight through until 2pm (with a break for more coffee + some v. delicious sushi), and then promptly left the office to avoid the worst traffic. Leaving at 2:30 got me home by 3:30 through some miracle, and so I actually only spent two hours in the car today, which is nearly unheard of in the modern era.

Once here, I did a tiny bit more work, then abandoned my apartment (and the strong smell of paint from the ongoing painting project going on outside) to finish proofreading at Rapha. Since I only had a chapter left when I stopped this morning, that wasn't a very onerous task. And I have to say, even though I don't usually brag, that at the moment I really love this book. It may not quite overtake Nick and Ellie in my affections, but I really love it and think it's great. Or at least I do now - we'll see how I feel in a few days.

After I finished that and started adding the edits to my docs (over the third latte of the day, which probably should have given me a heart attack), I eventually came home, changed, and went out to be social (shocker). Very longtime readers may remember Claudia (aka Claude, aka Santy Claude, aka Claude the Fraude), who was my roommate freshman and sophomore year of college, and with whom I've shared many highs/lows, ups/downs, triumphs/tragedies, shrimp/feet. She has been sprung from jail (aka Yale) and has taken a job in the bay area, and this was our first rendezvous since she moved back last weekend. We had drinks and delish pulled pork tacos at ABV, and it was so great to know that we can now do this whenever we want.

Then we got into a car with some random people (aka Adit and Priyanka) and went to Central Kitchen, which is both delicious and beyond pretentious. Would you like fennel pollen? 'Hen of the woods', which it turns out is a mushroom instead of a wild chicken? Salsify? $300 bottles of wine? In that case, my friend, you've come to the right place. I had previously gone there for a v. romantic dinner with Adit a couple of years ago (editor's note: February 9, 2013, which I had forgotten was the start of a truly epic disaster of a night which somehow detoured through Trick Dog (where I recall Katrina saying my eyes lit up and I was suddenly going big), through a bar where Adit/Vidya/I played Jenga, and ultimately to Adit's house and whisper karaoke at 5am). Central Kitchen is still ridic, and I didn't go big tonight, but it was all delightful.

Katrina ended up joining us late, and John and Jess were theoretically supposed to come, but there wasn't any room at the inn for them, and so they cut their losses and stayed home. However, the company was delightful, particularly when we all pulled out our phones and started messing around with Instagram (well, those of us who've been living in the city and turning into tech assholes pulled out our phones; Claude stared off into space and no doubt wondered why we all suck). Then we all parted ways around 10:30, and now I must sleep so I can publish a book tomorrow. Goodnight!

sleeping is giving in

Today was perhaps the most brutal slog yet. I woke up too early and couldn't go back to sleep, and as it turns out I should have gotten up and left super early - when I left at 6:50 (which is normally fine to get to Palo Alto by 8 on 280), my commute ended up taking an hour and forty fucking minutes, so I missed the first half of my training session :( She still gave me a pretty decent workout despite missing half of it, and she gave me homework for the weekend, so at least I got something out of it.

Then I went to work, showered v. quickly, and slogged for many hours. I had my annual review this morning, which went as they all seem to do (short version: I'm pretty awesome). Then I had a team lunch, which we ate out on a patio, and where my hair was apparently perilously close to some dude's exposed crack (he was sitting at the table behind me, and none of the team saw fit to tell me to lean in (lean in physically, not in the Sheryl Sandberg way)). After, I walked over to another meeting to work, took a thoroughly useless meeting there, adjourned to coffee lab with Dave and Tomas (our triumvirate of fun has continued post-Frankfurt), and then had a team meeting...

...and then I really wanted to go home, but I had one more meeting, and traffic looked so fucking awful again (prediction at 5pm was that it would take an hour and fifty-six minutes to get home) that I just curled up on the couch at work and worked until ~7:30. This was probably the right call since I wrote the performance reviews I have to give tomorrow and sent some important emails, but I really kind of wanted to die.

And now I'm going to go to bed, hope I sleep excessively, and then get up super early so that I can go to work and finish proofreading before starting my day job. Goodnight!

possibility days are impossible

I can't blog - I woke up before five this morning and didn't get home until 10:20, so I'm beyond exhausted. And you can guess what I did anyway...write, work, get coffee, work more, write, have dinner and drinks. Pretty standard, really. I would tell you more, in excruciating detail, but I left my laptops in my trunk, I don't feel like typing on my phone, and I should go to bed anyway. Goodnight!

all i wanna do (bang bang bang bang)

Today was a lovely but brutal slog - I woke up, proofread for an hour (so close to done!), worked, voted, and then drove to the south bay to train with Alyssa. Then I had meetings and work all afternoon - work continues to be mildly to moderately annoying, but I think I'll survive.

But I left (slightly later than I should have) to have a friendship renewal dinner. It was the first time I'd seen Tolu since he had his baby, and it was the first time Jen was able to attend since moving back from NYC, so that was awesome. Joann and Jane were in attendance as well, and we had an awesome time catching up (and Joann gave a stirring rendition of the Gaston song from "Beauty and the Beast", which you probably had to be there for). It's hard to believe I've known them for eleven years, but it's true, and I'm glad the friendship renewal dinner continues.

But now I'm wiped out and need to sleep so I can get up early and work before work (sob) - goodnight!

every time you close your eyes (lies, lies)

No publishing today...I was hijacked by the day job and social activities after, which I suppose is to be expected. I got up at 5:30, made it down to work by 7:45ish, and proofread at coffee lab for an hour before grabbing breakfast and starting my day of meetings and other tasks. This wasn't all horrible, although I had more work than I wanted to do, which meant I actually worked until 5:30 rather than sneaking out and proofreading like I'd hoped. But I got in another working session at coffee lab (even if it was day job stuff, I'll take it), and the weather was lovely and my v. Mediterranean lunch was delish.

So that's all good, I guess. Then I went to Palo Alto for a going-away party for the big boss (remember her?), who is going off to greener pastures at a startup. It was like a mini reunion of all the bigshots from her time there, so I schmoozed with a bunch of directors and VPs (and by that I mean I ignored most of them and caught up with the people I actually know/care about). I also spent some quality time with the big boss's husband, whom I worked with way back in 2007-2008, and it was great to catch up with him. And Alana was there, who is a longtime blog reader, so shout-out to her!

I stayed there until 8:30ish, and then I sped home and did day job stuff for the last hour. And on that boring note, I must sleep; I'm going to prioritize sleep over getting up early, but I would like to proofread for an hour from home before doing work, voting, working out with Alyssa, and going into the office. Goodnight!

hit and run

I'm so fucking close to being able to publish, but I'm going to go to bed so that I don't wreck my week. I might have done it if I hadn't spent two hours this afternoon on day job stuff + two hours hanging out with Terry, but both things were v necessary for my sanity.

But I woke up and was working by sevenish, and I finished and did all the formatting before breaking to shower, have brunch, and do my day job. Then I started proofing the final copy at Fort Mason (where I ran into Can, oddly enough), before adjourning to talk to my parents and do more proofing at nectar. Terry met me there and we discussed life over champagne (yay). Then I came home and proofed until I realized my eyes were going to give out.

All in all I'm happy with what I've got, and the final proof looks really good overall. So I'm planning to finish tomorrow and upload tomorrow night, but that's all dependent on whether the day job continues to thwart me. But I'll have a better chance if I go to bed now - goodnight!

scare your sons scare your daughters

I'm so close to the end - paragraphs, perhaps - but I'm falling asleep in bed and there's no point in carrying on like this when I would be better served by finishing it early in the morning. So that's all you're getting out of me - which is all that's worth repeating, since I worked or played the hermit all day. Goodnight!

this woman is my destiny

I very wisely stayed home today, but even I think I might have been a bit too hermity. In my defense, it was raining for most of the day and I think I might be getting sick, and I had a lot of work to do. But since Terry ordered pizza for lunch and I ordered thai for supper, the only times I left the house were to go downstairs and greet the delivery guys. Oh, and I spent another twenty minutes tearing my car apart looking for the beeper that someone at work put in my car - it's now cleaner than it's been in years since I threw away everything nonessential, but the beeping persists. Lol.

The rest of the day was fine, although I didn't sleep that well last night and so was dragging a bit today. I got some important work done, then procrastinated on other important work by making an entirely unnecessary video to convince my coworkers to vote on the offsite idea that I'd like them to vote on (which may be moot, since I'm the one who's tallying the results, but I'd like to believe that my integrity will result in a democratic outcome rather than the military coup I'm considering). I had intended to write tonight, but I was sick of staring at screens and tired in general, so I reread a Kresley Cole book and dreamed of Paris instead.

And now, sadly, I must sleep if I'm to get anything done tomorrow - goodnight!

my discotheque juliet teenage dream

Today was actually mostly lovely despite the ongoing shitshow that is my job. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. I got up at 5:30 (pain), showered, and took more time than usual with my hair and makeup since I decided to dress up for Halloween. I recreated my prom queen costume from college (different dress, same tiara), with some awesome eye makeup and an appearance by Prom King (my fake newborn baby). All in all, I would say it was a success, but I felt a bit out of place since no one else on my team dressed up (beyond a sailor hat worn by one of the guys). Luckily, I rocked it, including in a meeting with a bunch of directors, none of whom were dressed up either. Heh.

But that was all good. I was in the office by 8:15, which gave me time to get coffee at coffee lab and breakfast next door (a recreation of yesterday, down to the poached eggs and the company) before my meetings began for the day. And if I'm honest, the day was not particularly onerous - yes, what I'm working on currently is highly annoying, but I took a two-hour break in the middle of the day to go to the indian restaurant on campus and then do some impromptu bowling with some of the team. Bowling in a short cocktail dress and tiara seemed to work for me, since I scored 100 - not a hugely impressive score, but respectable enough and totally worth whatever foot fungus I'll get from wearing bowling shoes without socks. I know.

Then I went back to the office and slogged for another four hours, mostly successfully. After that, I had grand plans to meet up with Jess, who works in the Seattle office but was in town for the week. Dave came too, and the three of us had an awesome dinner at Vive Sol. After that I was thinking I should go home, but Jess wasn't ready to go back to her sad corporate apartment yet, so we had a drink at Steins and continued the fun.

I dropped her off at 8:40ish, took Dave back to campus, and then spent ten minutes with him tearing apart the front half of my car - he spilled to me earlier that someone else in our group had planted a device in my car, which explains why I've been hearing an occasional, very brief, but very annoying high-pitched whine every 4-5 minutes for the last couple of weeks. I had just been thinking that I should probably not leave my keys on my desk as I usually do, and it turns out I'm right - at some point recently, when I went to a meeting, someone grabbed my keys and took care of business. Unfortunately, we couldn't find it despite digging through the center console, the glove compartment, and every other thing we could think of, so I got to listen to it on the way home and plot my revenge.

But now I am super tired and need to sleep if I'm going to survive work tomorrow - at least I can work from home, which is the only thing that may save me. Goodnight!

take aim and reload

My midwestern soul is feeling a bit like I betrayed the cause, but I was all in on the Giants today. I got up super early, was out the door by 6:40, and then ended up stuck behind an accident, so it took me an hour and twenty minutes to get to work. Ugh. But I wrote Thorington for an hour and totally loved what I got done, so that was great. Then I had breakfast with Dave, who happened to run across me at Coffee Lab - I may have voluntarily eaten quinoa for breakfast, but in my defense it came with some delicious poached eggs and sausage, so I'll take it. Also, it was free, which I have clearly forgotten is an incredible luxury.

Then I went to my building and slogged excessively all day. It was mostly meetings, but they were mostly good, so at least there's that. I left the meetings at five and went to the gym (I KNOW), mostly because it was one of the only places with tvs on campus, and I wanted to watch the game but didn't want to suffer through another two-hour commute. So I spent 75 minutes on the treadmill, watching the game, talking to the coworker I met there, and generally sweating more than I should have since I was being an all-star roommate and wearing the sweater that Terry had insisted I wear again today.

But it seems to have worked! I gave up on the treadmill at 6:30ish, gave up on the idea of dinner when I saw the lines, ate some cereal, left at seven, and was home by eight, so clearly leaving later was way better. I got back during the eighth inning, which meant I got to enjoy the last bit of the game with Terry, and it was all totally lovely. Now I'm hatching plans (or rather, going along with plans) to move some of my Friday meetings up to SF so we can go to the parade - sounds like a good idea, right?

Now, though, I desperately need sleep, particularly if I want to follow through with my plan of dressing up for work halloween tomorrow (which may or may not happen - I'm not feeling it right now, but maybe I'll change my mind in the morning). Goodnight!

come on hide your lovers underneath the covers

Another brutal day - this refrain is likely getting as old for you as it is for me. I woke up at six, wrote until eight (successfully!), worked until ten, trained with Alyssa, and then slogged relentlessly until 4:30 (okay, not so relentless - I did take a break for coffee, but I consider that a requirement these days). Then I endured an almost two-hour commute, since clearly everyone wanted to come home and watch the Giants/Royals game. And as it turned out, everyone was wrong in trying to get home to watch it, since it was a bloodbath.

But I got home eventually (and was even not that stabby when I finally made it here), and I went to Des Amis for the third night in a row, where I wrote again. I'm happy with how this scene finally turned out, and there's only one scene left to fix/rewrite, so I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, I can get through it tomorrow. But either way, this fucker may actually come out sooner rather than later - we can all hope that's the case, since clearly I'm going to go crazy if I don't get done with Thorington soon.

Now, though, after doing an hour of work for the day job to wrap up my day of brutality, I must sleep so I can do it all again tomorrow. Goodnight!

until the love runs out

I wanted to go to bed forty-five minutes ago (yes, at nine p.m., I'm old), but I made the mistake of checking my work email, and so I got sucked in until now. Today was decent, but I find it impossible to believe that it's only Monday - surely it must be Wednesday, given how much I've done already? I woke up at 5:45, was a bit sluggish getting ready, and so didn't get out the door until 6:40ish - which would have been fine except I forgot that I was out of gas. So by the time I filled up and made it out of the city, my commute took an hour and a half. Sucks.

But I slogged incessantly from 8:20 to 4:15ish, with nary a break in sight (although I did get coffee, but those of us who got coffee talked about work the whole time, so it doesn't count). Then I drove home, took care of house chores, and went to Des Amis, where I finally got the breakthrough I was looking for in terms of writing productivity and finished one of the scenes that was blocking me. YES.

And now I'm going to go to bed, get up super early, and write before taking meetings from home and then going to the gym - wish me luck. Goodnight!

the fakers gonna fake fake fake fake fake

I meant to go to bed an hour ago, but watching the game and doing laundry meant a lack of proper bedtime. Today wasn't the glorious slog I expected - I was too distracted and stressed by life, and the writing was like pulling teeth. I probably should have just taken the day off, but I of course put way too much pressure on myself like I usually do.

But I made a lot of notes on what to do next, and I made some key edits to earlier stuff to support those changes, so that's good. I also took a long walk and talked to my parents, bought a ridiculously large pair of dark sunglasses to make myself feel better, and ate steak at Des Amis to complete my cure. And i watched the game - I was under orders to wear yesterday's sweater again, and I also had to drink Bailey's again (such a chore), but we won again, so I guess you can guess what I'll be wearing/drinking Tuesday. Of course, my Iowa heart feels a little guilty, but since I live with someone who will murder me in my sleep if I cheer against the giants, I'll continue to be a traitor to the Midwest.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

i knew you were trouble when you walked in

I think I finally figured out what's wrong with the end of my book - like, for real figured it out, not the false realizations I had over the past few days. Unfortunately, that means I have to scrap some of what I'd already written, but not much - and I'm hopeful that a long and brutal slog tomorrow can get me to the end of it. And to that end, I'm going to go to bed early so that I can hopefully wake up fresh and clear tomorrow...

...because today was neither fresh nor clear. I woke up at seven, eventually made myself some tea, but was distracted from coming back to the writing because there were two people sleeping in my living room (Lisa and Ginger, who were Terry's friends in college). I'm friends with them as well, although I'm closer to Lisa, and she came into the kitchen while I was making tea, so I shared my tea with her. It was great to catch up with her, even if we were whispering while doing so. Then I came upstairs, contemplated Thorington, eventually took a shower, ate some breakfast, and went to Rapha, where I spent another two hours contemplating. And the trouble all became apparent when I finally forced a character to show up and then realized that he shouldn't be there at all. Ugh.

So I bought myself flowers and went home. Then I had a late lunch at Delarosa; the food was excellent, as per usual, and we didn't have to wait for a table, which is nearly unheard of (this is the advantage of eating lunch at 1:30pm, I guess). I also quite enjoyed my sparkling rosé, although I probably shouldn't have had it since I came home at three and immediately needed a nap. Oops.

And then I was completely unproductive the rest of the day. I went downstairs to make some tea at fourish, just as Terry and Ginger came back (it's their reunion weekend, hence the guests in the living room), and so I talked to them for awhile. Then Ginger went on a run and Terry and I continued to catch up, since we really haven't seen each other alone since before I went to Germany. Then I made chili for supper, and we ended up watching the second half of the Giants game (we skipped the first half because Terry couldn't bear to watch). And now that we won, Terry has ordered me to continue wearing the spiffy Giants sweater I was wearing for every remaining game of the series. Heh. Luckily, I happen to like that sweater, and it's super comfy, so this is not as onerous as it might sound (as long as it doesn't get any warmer, since I might overheat otherwise).

But one of the things Terry and I talked through was the end of Thorington, and so I'm feeling more hope about tomorrow than I've felt in a v. long time. And that means that sleeping now is an excellent idea. Goodnight!

we'll never be royals

Today was a very long day that went about as opposite as I could have planned for it. If there's any benefit to the work situation I was dealing with last night, it's that it may have gotten me back onto my normal schedule - I went to bed later, and so I didn't get out of bed until a little after seven this morning. Shocking, I know. But as soon as I got out of bed, I spent the entire day until approximately five p.m. dealing with work stuff. The only two breaks I took (a shower + walking down the street to get coffee; eating leftover pizza and making tea don't seem to count) were both interrupted by phone calls, and I spent the rest of the time staring mindlessly at my laptop.

This was all v. annoying, because I had grand plans to write for a couple of hours before work and then take care of a bunch of stuff that I've been putting off at work. Ugh. But I did finally stop working at five, and I went to Sabrosa and ate tacos and read through what I wrote over the past couple of days. But I wasn't feeling looking at a small screen, so I instead looked at a large screen and watched most of the baseball game. Then I came home, still didn't want to look at a screen, and so reread one of my favorite comfort books (a Robin McKinley fantasy) to try to clear my head of work so that I can slog all weekend and hopefully (fingers crossed) get Thorington out into the world.

But to do that, I need sleep - goodnight!

don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me

Today was entirely annoying, with the exception of one glorious hour of writing I accomplished at the office before work. I woke up at 5:40ish, was out the door by 6:25, and so had time at the office to think about my own stuff before the slog began.

But when the slog finally did begin, it was mostly brutal. I did have a break for a team lunch, and I snuck away to have coffee by myself later while doing some annoying tasks (although someone crashed my coffee party, but I guess I'll survive). Then I had a team meeting, and I got out of there at 4:25 with the intention of enjoying the city...

...but instead, my commute took ninety minutes, and I arrived to a missed call from my boss + texts from multiple people in regards to some fairly annoying task that suddenly blew up. No big deal, but it meant I worked from six to ten, with a v. brief break for a waxing appointment. This was a real bummer, since I had planned to go out and eat and drink and be merry (or at least write), and instead I ordered a pizza and grew gradually more stabby as the evening progressed.

But whatever - they pay me for my expertise at making order out of chaos, and there hadn't been any chaos in awhile, so I was probably overdue. And now I'm going to go to bed and hope they don't blow up more overnight, since I'd like to write in the morning before working. Wish me luck with that - goodnight!

i've gotta stay high all the time to get you off my mind

Today was somewhat of a rinse and repeat of yesterday - I got up too early, laid in bed thinking I might fall asleep again, failed to fall asleep, and so went to the office. Unfortunately, traffic already sucked at 6:45, so it took an hour and fifteen minutes to get to work. But that still gave me an hour to work on zee romance novel when I got there, which was v. much appreciated...

...but it was all downhill from there. I had some meetings, did some work, had lunch with a few coworkers, met with some more people, had some coffee (the caffeine situation in my veins is getting dire), did more meetings, and then adjourned to Wine Wednesday. Sadly, I wasn't really feeling the wine and my partner in crime wasn't really feeling life, so I made my escape, went to another cafe on campus, put on some sweats, and tried to write some more. But that was an exercise in total futility, so I came home. And now I'm going to continue to wreck my sleep schedule by going to bed early - goodnight!

but i keep moving, can't stop, won't stop cruising

I woke up this morning hoping to accomplish two hours of writing, but I really on succeeded for forty minutes or so. The key to breaking through the block turned out to be to skip the chapter I was writing/rewriting and just go straight to the last chapter that I haven't written - as soon as I started that one, I almost immediately wrote three pages. Ha. So clearly there's something wrong with the structure/tone/whatever of the chapter preceding it that I can't see yet, but I'm hoping that writing the last chapter will enable me to figure out how to fix the previous one.

Sorry, that's boring. By eight a.m. I was really getting into the groove, and that's when I had to abandon my writing life to take a couple of hours of meetings from home. Once I accomplished that, I drove to the glorious south bay and trained with Alyssa - she continues to push her nefarious kettlebell agenda, so now I'm swinging 20kg bells, which I oddly find kind of fun. What is wrong with me?!

So, the workout was great, but I was pretty tired the rest of the day - I don't think the salad I had for lunch really cut it, but I didn't have time to find something else. I had meetings straight from 1pm to 4pm, then did a bit of work for another thirty minutes, then cut out early to avoid traffic. That wasn't a success, since it took me ninety minutes to get home, but at least I got here in time to take care of some tings, change my clothes, and relax just a little bit before going out for dinner. Terry, Subz and I went to Presidio Social Club (which continues to leave me bemused - the food is good and the location is great, but the service is always, always questionable), where we caught up for a couple of hours while Terry was mildly distracted by the Giants/Royals game. I hadn't seen Terry since before I went to Germany, since she left for NYC the day I got back, so we had a lot to discuss. And it was great, as usual, to see Lauren, since she's awesome.

But now I must sleep - I have grand plans to continue going to bed early and getting up early, with even grander plans to work on the last chapter tomorrow morning before work. Goodnight!

can't go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain

I was, shockingly, productive at work. I KNOW. Unfortunately, between the hour and twenty minutes I spent getting there, the hour I spent getting back, and my general exhaustion from not having slept well last night, I wasn't very well-equipped to write tonight. I got home at five with the intention of writing like a madwoman - but instead I spent a couple of hours texting, chatting, calling, and generally reconnecting with real people rather than reconnecting with Thorington. Oops.

But tomorrow is another day, and since I can work from home in the morning, I'm going to indulge in my desire to go to bed too early so that I can get up too early and write before work, when everything is fresh and lovely and not distracting. Goodnight!

most nights i don't know

Today was good for my psyche, but bad for my writing - but I need to stop saying that if I have any hope of being nicer to myself and not making so much ride on my productivity. And anyway, I did write; I may not have finished the book today, but I got a few hours of good productivity in this morning early (6:45am to ~10am) before hitting the wall. Then I showered, ate some peanut butter, procrastinated, and met up with Lauren (aka Subz) for manis/pedis + lunch at Roam. I don't think I'd seen her since Terry's birthday dinner (which was three days after my birthday dinner), and it was awesome to catch up with her in a v. relaxed, cozy sort of way.

After we parted ways, I considered the book again for awhile before throwing in the towel. Then I took a walk and talked to my parents; I'm trying to keep up the walking that I did in Europe (sans the drinking that I did in Europe), and walking down to the water while discussing life with them seemed like a great way to do so. I also talked to [censored] on the way home, which was good since it had been ages since we'd caught up. Then I grabbed an iced latte, worked for thirty minutes or so, and went out for family dinner with Chandlord, Katrina, John, Jess, and Maya at Chow. They were all in fine form, as always, although several people seemed quite tired - but I think Katrina's obsession with bike messengers more than made up for it.

And now, since I'm one of the people who was quite tired by the end, I'm going to go to bed so that I can get up and write before work - goodnight!

blow me one last kiss

I know it's a mistake to go to bed now if I have any hope of getting over the jet lag, but I'm beyond exhausted - I got up at 5:30 and spent most of the day struggling with Thorington, who gave me little joy. Luckily I had some afternoon wine with Chandlord, which helped tremendously. But I'm tired of fighting the book, and I seem to do better in the mornings anyway, so screw common sense - I'm going to bed. Goodnight!

some nights i wish they'd just fall off

The jetlag was brutal today, repaying me for how easy the jetlag was when I went to Germany - but I suppose it's easier to overcome jetlag when one is hanging out and drinking and laughing rather than sitting at a desk and longing for the sweet release of death. I woke up sometime around 3:15am, and while my jawbone wristband says that I slept again after that, I mostly tossed and turned and dozed and had vivid dreams until six. So, needless to say, I was beyond tired when I finally dragged myself out of bed.

The first stop was Alyssa, whom I hadn't seen in over two weeks; she did not take it easy on me, but since I walked so much in Europe and generally ate pretty well (other than consuming my body weight in champagne), it all went okay. It was great to see her, as usual, even if I'll remember her all weekend because my legs feel like dead weights. Then I went to the office, showered, and stared at my screen in an attempt to figure out how to do some work.

That was mostly a lost cause. But I pulled myself together, made a latte, and had a walking 1:1 with my boss. The caffeine and the fact that I had to stay on my feet and not fall flat on my face meant that I was able to stay awake and mostly coherent through our meeting, which was better than I expected to do. Then I had a meeting with someone on my team, and I think I pulled it off as well. After that, I had lunch with a coworker (outside, since clearly sunshine was the only thing that could save me), spent an hour doing my expense report for my trip, and then walked over to the coffee lab to grab coffee. I had almost left before that in an effort to get back to the city, but as it turns out the walk + conversation + delish New Orleans iced coffee they were serving there may have been the only things that made me capable of driving. So, yay to that.

But I left the office around 2:40, got home within an hour (thank you, Jesus), and promptly put my pajamas on and crawled into bed for two hours. I think I only slept for thirty minutes of that, but it was so nice to just do nothing. Then I grabbed dinner at Sabrosa, came home and folded all my laundry, and am now going to try to read for a few minutes so I can make it to the more respectable hour of 9:30pm before crashing.

This weekend is all about finishing Thorington, so expect this to get even more boring before the end - sorry. Goodnight!

some nights i wish that my lips could build a castle

I managed to get through today without hitting the jetlag wall too hard, which is kind of a miracle since I went to bed at nine last night and woke up at 4:30am this morning. I laid in bed for forty minutes or so trying to sleep, and I may have dozed just a bit, but by 5:15ish I threw in the towel and got up, showered, put on a cute dress, did my hair, etc. Getting out the door at 6:20 proved to be amazing, since the drive took less than an hour - but despite how amazing it was, this isn't a feat I particularly care to reaccomplish anytime soon.

But even though I got up so early, I made it through work in surprisingly fine form. I worked on Thorington for an hour over breakfast and then had meetings most of the day, but I took a nice lunch break to grab food with some coworkers, followed by coffee (iced latte with an extra shot) to try to keep myself caffeinated. I wasn't particularly productive beyond my meetings, but that was to be expected, I think.

And I knew I had to conserve my energy for dinner with my team - we went to Cascal, where we ate a lot of tapas-type things. The conversation was generally v. entertaining and we got to enjoy the outdoor patio, so it was all quite lovely. Then I drove Andrew back to the city with me, and we reached city just in time to see the fireworks they shot off to celebrate the Giants' victory, so that was cool.

Now, though, I'm desperate to sleep, and I hope I get eight or nine hours without waking up in the middle of the night...but it seems unlikely. Goodnight!

tearing at my brains again

I made it home! But I'm too tired to blog and am trying to limit my screen time so I can be coherent tomorrow. Wish me luck with that - goodnight!

shut up and dance

Today was another long day of working, but I was mostly successful in my slogging. I also left the office at a reasonable hour so that I could walk into the city center while it was still almost light out (okay, maybe not, since it started raining on my walk). I had an earlyish supper at an Italian place with gluten-free pasta, then walked back to my hotel, did a bit more stuff online, and packed all my stuff for tomorrow's flight. I have to get up at 5:30ish so that I can go to the airport, which is likely going to suck, but my reward for getting up is going home, so I think I can do it.

By this time tomorrow, I should be three-ish hours from landing in San Francisco - fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly, since I would like to make it home without serious drama. Europe has been very fun, but I'm very ready to get back to my regularly scheduled like (and hopefully get Thorington's book out this weekend so that I can fully move on to better and more interesting things). Goodnight!

i can shake it shake it like i'm supposed to

I have absolutely nothing of interest to report because I slogged hard and fast all day to start trying to make a dent in the work I should have done over the last two weeks. I'm trying to get caught up so that I can write/sleep on the plane and set myself up for success when I get home, but we'll see if that plan works out for me (seems doubtful). But today was mostly meetings - since I'm in Dublin to meet with the team here, it would make sense that I would be talking to people rather than holed up with my laptop by myself.

But my meetings were all grand, as they say here. I also had lunch with some of the team, and the cafe proved that things are way, way better in Dublin than they were when I lived here - the office has expanded dramatically (they even added a skywalk between three buildings, which is cray cray since they only had one building when I was here), and the food choices are way better. And I skipped out for an hour in the afternoon because I wanted to take a walk and get some air while it was still light out - so I walked down to Grafton Street, which was home to many of the shopping excursions I took when I lived here (as evidenced by the fact that I didn't remember a lot of stuff, but I remembered what seemed like every store on Grafton Street).

After work, I came back to the hotel, ate supper, and slogged until now. And now I must sleep so that I can engage in a similar death march tomorrow before heading back home on Wednesday (not a moment too soon - I'm half sick of travel). Goodnight!

every heart is a package tangled up in knots someone else tied

Hello, Dublin! I haven't been here since 2010, during the epic trip I took from Koolwal's wedding -> several days stranded in DC by the Icelandic volcano -> London -> Paris (where I seemed to have some form of whooping cough) -> Dublin. So far I haven't noticed many changes, but that could be because the cabbie smelled more like a pig farm than anything I've smelled since a pig farm, which made for a rather awful ride. Or maybe I'm the one who smells, since I still seem to smell it, but that could be because I'm tired and hallucinating. Or it's possible I'm getting sick - everything feels vaguely fuzzy, which doesn't bode well...

...but today was a good day despite it. I got nineish hours of sleep, did an hour of work for the day job, showered, had breakfast (a worse choice than yesterday - scrambled eggs and smoked salmon, since I was trying to be healthier than french toast, but the salmon was too oily for my tastes; hopefully it's not food poisoning that's making me feel woozy), and packed everything so I could check out by noon. Then I spent a delightful, wonderful, awesome three hours at the V&A Museum - I adore that place more than possibly any other museum in the world, since they have a lot of cool information about how furnishings, textiles, ceramics, etc. are made, all of which is v. inspiring to my writing. So I took a ton of pictures, read a ton of placards, bought an awesome necklace to commemorate my trip, and had a quick lunch in their cafe to keep myself from fainting. All in all, it was great!

Then I went back to the hotel, had a quick pot of tea and a bit of chocolate while scribbling in my journal, and then took a taxi to the airport. The taxi was supposed to obviate the need to walk a lot since I wasn't feeling well (otherwise I would have taken the substantially cheaper Underground, but that would have involved walking two blocks + carrying my suitcase up and down a bunch of stairs). And the taxi driver was nice - but then he dropped me off at Terminal 5, and I didn't realize it until I was already inside. This was annoying, since I needed to be in Terminal 2 (and had told him that twice). So I ended up on the Underground after all, since that was the best way between terminals. Ha.

But I was still early enough that when I checked in, they bumped me to a flight that left an hour earlier. That was all entirely uneventful, and I didn't get threatened with deportation in Ireland, so that was a plus. I got to my hotel without incident (and after having burned out my sense of smell), checked in, and discovered that it's more quaint than any hotel I've ever stayed in (well, maybe not, but considering I feel that way after staying in a castle last week, you can guess that it's pretty fucking quaint). I grabbed dinner in the restaurant downstairs, which was one of my old favorites when I lived here, but they appear to have remodeled and it doesn't feel the same (although it may perhaps be better).

And now I should sleep - I have to go to the office in the morning and try to remember how to be a contributing, functioning member of the team after what was essentially a ten-day non-working junket of fun and regret. Goodnight!

somewhere along the way my bitterness turned to anger

It feels a little lame to go to bed at 10:30pm on a Saturday in a foreign city, but since my main goals are to write and recover from a weeklong bender, this is exactly what I need to do. Today was lovely, though - I got nine hours of sleep, lazed around for a bit, showered, and had breakfast in the hotel restaurant (which is way nicer than most hotel restaurants - it's apparently a destination in its own right). I had their gluten-free french toast with bacon and banana, and it was totally scrumptious. I also wrote in my journal for a bit while I lingered over my tea, until the breakfast crowd turned into the brunch crowd and some obnoxiously loud men turned up, at which point I was done.

Then I adjourned to the tea room and worked on zee book for a couple of hours. But then I realized that I should probably go out and walk/explore since I'm in London and not SF, and so I went to Tower Hill to see the poppies that they're installing for the WWI memorial. They're putting in ~880k ceramic poppies in honor of all the Commonwealth casualties in WWI, and it was really gorgeous (although there were too many people there). Then I took the Underground part of the way back, got out at Westminster, looked briefly at the outside of Westminster Palace + Westminster Abbey, and then continued my peregrinations. I walked through St. James's Park, strolled past Buckingham Palace, walked to Hyde Park Corner and admired the Marble Arch, and then walked through Kensington to my hotel. It was all very civilized and lovely, and I'm feeling somewhat inspired (I think).

When I got here, I dumped my stuff and promptly grabbed a very early supper since I was starving - there's an Italian place down the street that does a great gluten-free pasta, which I enjoyed while working on the back cover copy for Thorington. Then I took a twenty-minute nap, put on something cute, and ventured back out to Piccadilly to meet up with Jess (a girl from work) and her friend for a drink at Bob Bob Ricard. It's a super posh, swanky restaurant/bar, where the cocktails are like $30 each (which is expensive even for my outrageous tastes), but the decor was awesome and it was great to see Jess in a non-work environment. After, I came back here, contemplated writing, and realized that I'd rather sleep and get up early tomorrow to write (or get up late tomorrow after sleeping for another nine hours, which sounds amazing). Goodnight!

everything you touch surely dies

My first full day in London was gorgeous - well, gorgeous if you're a hermit who likes Regency-type activities like walking and writing. I got almost ten hours of sleep last night, which was v. v. necessary, and awoke feeling refreshed and in a much better mood than the one I was in when I left Germany (I would spit here, but you wouldn't see it and I would have to clean it up, and besides, I'm not good at spitting). Then I took a v. nice shower and abandoned my posh hotel to wander around London for awhile.

My first stop was breakfast(ish) at Le Pain Quotidien, which appears to be London's version of SF's La Boulange, but with table service. My eggs and prosciutto were delicious, my coffee slightly less so, but it was a good place to write in my journal for an hour and try to meditate my way out of my own head and back into Thorington's (is that creepy to say?). Then I walked for approximately two and a half hours straight without any real goal in mind other than to wander around and get inspired. I strolled through Hyde Park, walked along the Serpentine and cursed the geese, delighted in seeing random British things like overblown gold-encrusted fountains and unexpected horsemen, and ended up in Mayfair. There I wandered with even less direction, admiring the very lovely doors on the ultraposh townhouses. I also did some window shopping at some of the most ridiculous fashion stores around - the only one I was tempted to go into was Marc by Marc Jacobs, which begins to look like a bargain basement compared to Louboutin, Celine, Jenny Packham, and the like, but I spared my wallet and stayed outside looking in like an urchin.

After that, I returned to my hotel in South Kensington, ready to stop walking and start writing. But first I took a nap. And then I went downstairs and had afternoon tea while starting my reread of Thorington - afternoon tea is a much healthier endeavor when one is avoiding gluten and so can only have the grilled chicken + salad. But the tea was great and the room was gorgeous (with the exception of the toddler who screamed most of the time I was there with relatively little effort made by his parents to tame him). And between that + working in my room most of the evening, I'm almost done with my readthrough. It was slower going than it should have been because I kept letting myself get distracted by technology, but c'est la vie.

And now I'm going to sleep even though I'd wanted to finish the read-through tonight - I'd rather keep resting up so I can survive the next push. All in all I'm really happy with where the story is, though - I need to make some tweaks, but nothing major, and I have high hopes that I'm very close to done (with the exception of a final scene that I still haven't written, ugh). Goodnight!

the worst part of a good day is the one thing you don't say

I have arrived in London, which I would be more excited about if there wasn't a large part of me that really just wanted to go home today. Not that I really want to go home - if I was just hanging out in London for the next few days, that would probably still be great. But I have to do some day job work, and I need to work on the book, and I have to go to Dublin Sunday night to continue my work activities, so that's all kind of weighing on me. Add that I slept really badly last night and woke up this morning feeling like all the hangovers I didn't have this week hit me all at once, and that all of my travel companions are gone and I suddenly have to do everything myself (an unusual thing to regret, since I'm used to doing things myself), and today was just kind of miserable.

It didn't help that Frankfurt continued to be a bitch to me - my omelette was good at first but then made me feel sick to my stomach, I had to walk like ten thousand miles to deliver something to someone at the book fair, and then I got to the airport, sat in a miserable haze with a latte, went through security, and discovered that my flight was delayed for two-ish hours because of weather in London. Stupid. I was way too exhausted to do anything meaningful during that time, which is kind of embarrassing - I basically just stared off into space.

But I slept on the plane, which was v. restorative, and so I arrived in a slightly better mood. Then I got through immigration, dragged my bag for miles to the Heathrow Express train station, took the train to Paddington, and got a taxi to bring me the rest of the way to my (v. posh) hotel. But there was a bus accident that seriously snarled traffic, so I walked the last two blocks in pouring rain, which made me feel v. not posh upon arrival.

However, the hotel immediately and immeasurably made everything better - my room is gorgeous, I was able to get a great steak from room service within fifteen minutes of calling for it (although I forgot to wash my hands before eating and after going through customs/bag claim/train/taxi/etc., which means I'll probably get twenty different kinds of diseases), my bed is super comfy, and the room includes all the tea I can make (with milk in the fridge!). It's also very close to everything I care about Regency-wise - Hyde Park, the Serpentine, Kensington, Mayfair, the V&A Museum, etc.

So I'm going to go to bed now, sleep as long as I can, and then hopefully spend the morning walking around and getting inspired, and maybe the afternoon reading Thorington straight through while drinking tea in the super posh library area of the hotel. Hopefully the week off I've had from writing will be helpful and not harmful. Goodnight!

i've been here before and i deserve a little more

I should have gone to bed three hours ago, but it's my last night in Frankfurt and I had tings to take care of. Germany continues to be the usual bastard it is to me, but I love it in spite of itself. Today was good but also v. long - I woke up earlier than I wanted to and got ready in time to meet Dave for breakfast before heading to the book fair. I had meetings there and did some general walking around until two or three, before adjourning with a couple of coworkers to have a nice, leisurely, late lunch at my hotel. Then I tried to nap for an hour and a half, but it turned out to only last for thirty minutes.

At that point, I should have gotten ready to go to dinner with the team - but as it has probably become clear, my introverted soul is burned out on people. So I did a bit of work, then threw on some non-dressy clothes and walked toward the train station to rendezvous with Dave so that we could sneak away and be introverts together over food and wine at an amazing Italian place (which is the restaurant we could have gone to yesterday if we hadn't ditched the team dinner to hang out with a smaller group of coworkers instead). We had a hilarious conversation about Argentina that I hope to never forget, and it was all generally lovely.

But all things must end, and so I said goodbye, came back to my hotel, and worked/emailed/contemplated London until now. And now I'm going to sleep - I was planning to go to the book fair again in the morning, but given that I have to leave for the airport around 12:30, and given that it's currently 2:15am, it seems likely that I will instead sleep, have breakfast, pack, and not go there instead. We shall see whether my good corporate citizen mind will override my body's desire to get more than five hours of sleep for once. Goodnight!

all my tears have been used up on another love

So, today started off really rough...and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why, since I got less than five hours of sleep after drinking for more than five hours (eight, to be precise, although I suppose I didn't have anything in the last hour before I went to bed). Needless to say, everything was spinning and I was really unhappy, particularly since I'm a closet hermit and have just about reached the end of my psychological rope when it comes to hanging out with people. But I managed to get dressed and pack my bags, and then I had breakfast, where I discovered that I'd somehow missed the memo about today's start time and so had gotten up half an hour earlier than necessary. Ugh.

But the morning sessions were all good, and I even participated very robustly and (according to people who told me later) mostly articulately in a ninety-minute discussion that's fairly relevant to my job, so I suppose that's all good. Then I had lunch and shot some more arrows (but not many arrows, because I somehow bruised the hell out of my hands last night - I think it was from foosball, but both my pointer fingers are seriously bruised, which is rather uncomfortable). Then we wrapped up, and it was time for the real fun to begin again...

...which meant getting back in the car with my lovely travel companions and abandoning the other people at the offsite. We detoured to a nearby church thing to tour it, which was gorgeous (high up on a hill, surrounded by vineyards, overlooking a river valley). And then we drove back to Frankfurt and didn't die, mostly because Dave rarely had a chance to get up to full speed. We checked into my hotel and met up with someone on my team for a drink, which turned into ditching the offsite dinner and going out for German food and more drinks. This was all probably incredibly ill-advised, but we survived it. And I somehow continue to drink my weight in champagne every night, but tonight I paced myself and I still feel like a coherent human, which is a lovely surprise.

And now I shall sleep - I have one more full day in Frankfurt tomorrow, and I have hopes that it will be memorable. Goodnight!

some are born to sing the blues

I continue to hate Germany, but I am probably not well-equipped to judge it given that I've been drinking wine for the last eight hours (really? yes.). I woke up this morning after too little sleep, put on a hot new dress (silk! marc by marc! from thredup, so it wasn't so outrageously expensive!), and had breakfast with the crew before continuing to the offsite, where I sat in a small room all day and had to pretend to care. Ugh. I did participate in the conversation like a good little corporate whore, but I wasn't really having it, particularly after a v. fun lunch turned into a v. long afternoon session with v. few breaks.

But I'll survive - particularly if I get five hours of sleep tonight, which is all I'm destined for. I made it down to cocktail hour with my own mini bottle of champagne in hand (so classy), just in time to grab some sausage (that's not a double entendre) before going to dinner. Dinner was preceded by a speech by one of my least favorite people in the history of the world, but my fellow teammates made up for it with one of the most inappropriate group chats I've ever had (and I drank at least half a bottle of wine to keep myself quiet), so that was all fun. Then we ate dinner, had a lot more wine, and adjourned to a poker table where we had even more wine (and I proclaimed the tallest man at the offsite my spirit animal, as is my wont). After, Dave, Tomas and I went to Dave/Tomas's room, where we watched some 'Walking Dead' and they humored me while I ranted about the evening. This is what friends are for.

And now I must sleep *immediately* if I have any hope of surviving the morning - goodnight!

the cold never bothered me anyway

I really need to sleep immediately, but I shall take time to record today for posterity, particularly since I may have burned out my short-term memory with a combination of jetlag and alcohol, so recording it is as much of a service for me as it is for you. I awoke in Heidelberg (good thing, since I fell asleep there) after 8+ hours of sleep, which is totally unheard of for my second day in a foreign country (although I did wake up several times as we approached seven a.m., but that was to be expected). I hung out in the kitchen for a bit and caught up on sports scores, then laid in bed again for thirty minutes, and then put on slightly more respectable pants to join my fellow travelers for breakfast (I had as much meat as possible, which should surprise none of you). Then we went back to the apartment, got ready, and loaded up the car...

...and proceeded to have a totally ridiculous drive to a town between Heidelberg and our offsite, which involved a lot of 'karaoke' (singing along to songs) while videotaping the whole thing. This was all v. ill-advised. Also, the drive was amazingly lovely. And the tow we stopped in had a beer tent (presumably for Oktoberfest), where we drank beer (well, I had wine and apfelwein), ate sausages, and listened to a traditional German orchestra. After a couple of hours of awesomeness, we loaded up in the car again and drove to the offsite...

...which may be the most ridiculous thing I've ever attended. Suffice it to say that we rolled in slightly drunk and immediately shot arrows at an archery station, which is extremely ill-advised. Then we kept the buzz going since the place we're at (a castle!!) has an open bar with no bartender, so you can just pour yourself wine. Or you can drink the drink someone made me, which he called a 'Low Anxiety' (no idea what was in it, but I'm sooo calm). Or you can drink the margarita Dave made me, which was highly alcoholic. Or you can drink the Jager shots I did with Dave and Tomas. Or you can keep drinking wine, with some attempt at water. Whatever floats your boat, really.

So suffice it to say that I had a fabulous afternoon/evening; other people arrived throughout that time, and the dinner was gorgeously over the top, and then we all had drinks and karaoke and pool and whatever. And now I must sleep before I die, since I must get up early tomorrow and maybe, theoretically, do some work - goodnight!

undo what heredity's done to you

Hello Germany! I continue to hate you as much as I always have, but today was admittedly fun. I somehow, miraculously, got seven+ hours of sleep last night, and other than a single moment of falling asleep at a bar tonight, I seem to have done better with jetlag then I ever have. But I managed to drag myself out of bed, into the shower, and downstairs in time to meet Dave so that we could go to the airport to pick up Tomas and Lillian.

That turned out to be mostly a shitshow - since we had given them a very non ideal place to meet, we spent an hour walking around + waiting for them. This got on my last nerve, since I'd already spent more time than I wanted to at Frankfurt airport the day before. But we eventually rendezvoused, then drove to Heidelberg, which was magical.

And by that I mean we walked around and drank. We had a late lunch at a delicious Indian place, then went to the castle. I'd already seen it with Chandlord, but it was worth going again. We had a bottle of wine at the castle, which was v delightful, and we had fun trying to take new author photos for me, which was ridiculous.

Then we went to old town Heidelberg and had a sausage feast (like, many many sausages on top of a bed of fried potatoes), followed by more wine, followed by gelato, followed by another bottle of wine (at which point I fell asleep briefly, but I rallied). And now I must sleep before I die - goodnight!

an open tab when your judgment's on the brink

I am in Frankfurt, and it is as strange and lovely as I expected. My flight was perfectly on time, but there was a major confusion over the rental car, which resulted in walking around in slowly increasing circles until we found the place (P29, which wasn't on any map) that was supposed to solve all our woes. But it didn't, so we took a taxi that nearly ended in our abandonment and certain death - until we were plucked at the last moment from ruin and given a Mercedes. Yay.

Then we checked into the hotel, and Dave and I promptly rallied and walked to Starbucks, then across the river to grab lunch (and wine). Then we both took naps before rendezvousing in the lobby so that we could go out for dinner. We went to a Greek place I went to last year, which was awesome until they brought us ouzo shots at the end, which Dave poured into a tree for me. Then we went to a dive bar, followed by a German bar, followed by an Irish bar, and I continued my white wine/prosecco consumption at each.

And now, after a v lovely evening and a promise of more fun to come tomorrow, I must sleep - goodnight!

he always in the air but he never fly coach

Sadly, I'm flying coach - I'm still on the plane to Germany. But I thought I would blog now while I have a moment (one of an endless series of moments that I've spent in this seat over the last ten hours or so). I predict that my day in Frankfurt will be both brutal and lovely - brutal because I'm not sure I pieced together more than three hours of sleep on the plane, lovely because it's the first day in recent memory when I plan to do no work for the day job and no work for the writing job. My head may explode from confusion.

But today was good - I woke up, sent some somewhat inflammatory emails to day job people and then promptly stopped working so that I could shower and go to the airport. Terry was kind enough to drop me off, and I got there absurdly early because I had to do a Facebook chat thing for some romance writing group and I wanted to do it there so I wouldn't have to rush to the airport after. So I accomplished that mission while drinking some coffee, and then I messed around on the internet while drinking a margarita. Then the coworker I'm traveling with (Dave) showed up, and we had lunch and more margaritas before getting on zee plane.

That meant I was able to nap early, but then I was wide awake, so I read some filthy erotica (my seat mate seems to only speak German, so my secret was safe with him + all of you). But I had to stop reading it because it was making me cry (she's the only erotica writer I consistently read, and it's because she's amazing at emotion, not for the sexytimes, although those are certainly inventive), and I didn't want to have to explain to my coworker why I looked like I had been sobbing for four hours. Ha. I seem to have gotten myself under control when we congregated in the galley (so risky!) for a drink halfway into the flight, so at least there's that.

And then I tried to sleep for a few hours, but it was mostly fits and starts. And now I'm going to put this away and try to pretend that it's time to get up rather than time to go to bed. Guten Tag!

i've got some secrets i forgot to mention

I'm going to Germany tomorrow! Yay!! It's amusing to me that I'm so excited about Germany given that I have v. hit or miss memories of that place (ulcers, love parades, concentration camps vs. weddings, love parades, castles). So, we'll see whether this German trip holds happiness or heartbreak...I'm predicting a mix of both, as it always is, but overlaid and undercut by a steady diet of wurst and alcohol. Yum.

Seriously, though, I'm v. excited, and looking forward to this trip is all that's gotten me through the last few weeks. The group I'm going early with is super fun, and the event I'm going to after is kind of a boondoggle, so that's all going to be awesome. But today was more of the same, although I worked from home so that I didn't have to deal with the commute. I worked on day job stuff very diligently until fiveish (with a break to buy a sandwich and an iced latte like a real person rather than someone who is fed for free all the time), and then I spent the evening packing, with a break to have dinner with Terry. And now I shall sleep...goodnight!

brighter than the sun

I continue to drain myself down to the dregs. Today was brutality piled on top of more brutality, with a thin veneer of fun. I woke up earlyish but was really dragging, and traffic was not ideal, so I didn't get to work until 8:15, which didn't give me time to write before starting my meetings. But I did my meetings, did a bit of work, had lunch with a coworker, did some more meetings, and then slacked off early to get drinks with several coworkers (somewhat to welcome our new teammate, somewhat to socialize). Then I drove to Stanford and worked at Stanford library for a couple of hours - I've written at least part of every book there, and I hadn't done anything for Thorington there yet, so it seemed symbolic to work on the ending there.

And it was great for my productivity - I can practically smell the end, and the whole thing has come together in a way I'm pretty happy with. But I was so tired that I left at ten even though I wanted to keep going because I was afraid that I would kill myself if I waited any later to drive home. So I got home, washed my face, and wrote for the last half hour. But I've hit the very hardest part of the wall, and I have to work tomorrow (although I'm going to do it from home), and I also have to pack, and so I think sleep would serve me better than anything right now.

Wish me luck that I can finish my edits tomorrow! If I do, I think I'll see how I'm feeling about it, and then either a) proofread on the plane, or b) what's looking more likely is relax on the plane, then relax all weekend, then proofread in the wee jetlag hours around my offsite next week. Doesn't that sound like fun? Goodnight!