make that money, watch it burn

I probably should have gone to bed when I felt like doing so three hours ago, but I had tings to do, so I made myself a mug of tea and slogged on. Today was hectic; I got up late since I had stayed up late last night, but I decided to run for the 8:20 shuttle without drying my hair, since I wanted to make it to work in time for breakfast. But when I got to the shuttle stop, after nearly running, I pulled out my phone and discovered that the shuttle wasn't coming and I had to wait twenty minutes. Which, obvi, would have been enough time to dry my hair. Curses. I maybe should have just skipped that one too and had breakfast before going south, since not having breakfast threw off my whole day, but I stuck it out and got to the office at ten. And I had the rather hideous realization that the amount of time I've spent commuting this week is nearly equal to the amount of time I will spend on planes to/from Europe next week, which is a really fucking sobering thought. Traffic has been awful this week and I've spent three or four hours a day on the bus or in my car, so I'm looking forward to twelve glorious days of not commuting.

I slogged v. hard all day, but I snuck out in the afternoon for a doctor's appointment with my new primary care doctor, whom I really liked. Then, I was going to go shopping at Stanford mall since I was right next door, but I checked my work email and discovered that my business cards had come in just in time (I never use them in my real life, so I'd forgotten to ever order them), so I drove back to campus to pick them up. Then I went to Nordstrom Rack and did less damage than I wanted to but more than I should have. Then I ate a snack bar that I found in my purse and just barely survived the drive back into the city without going into some epic hunger-induced road rage. Once here, I was too tired to go out and too tired to cook, so I ate some frozen enchiladas and worked until now.

And now, I really should sleep; I have a writing date in the morning and tons of stuff I have to do to get ready for my trip. Goodnight!

you're still written in the scars on my heart

Today was mildly brutal, mostly because I only got five and a half hours of sleep last night. But I was out the door before seven this morning and made it to my eight a.m. training session with Alyssa (just barely), which helped to restore my mood. Then I showered, went to work, and slogged relentlessly all day; my only real break was to get a flu shot, which doesn't really seem like much of a break. But I ran into Chandlord as I was grabbing food from one of the cafes, so that was a pleasant and sparkly surprise. And I got through all of my meetings unscathed and was productive on the most urgent things on my to-do list, so I suppose that's something.

I will admit, though, that I cut out at 4:30 to have a v. early dinner with Jenni. We were planning to have dinner up in the city, but since we were both in MTV and since I had my car, we decided to eat in the south bay to avoid sitting on the bus for two hours before dinner. We ended up going to Vive Sol, which was both bad for my general wellness (since apparently margaritas aren't really all that good for you - who knew?) and bad for my guilty conscience (since I had told Terry I couldn't have a margarita with her, and then promptly went out for a margarita). Oops. But it was great to see Jenni, since we hadn't caught up in quite some time. And our plan worked beautifully; we caught a shuttle around seven p.m. (the only snafu was that the shuttle was twenty minutes late picking us up), and traffic was decent enough that I got home around eight. Or I assume traffic was decent; I slept the whole way home.

That, sadly, gave me the energy to slog for the last three hours to get through some more dayjob stuff. This isn't a real relapse; the start of the quarter is always hectic, made moreso because I'm going to be out of the office for most of the next two weeks. And perhaps I'm avoiding thinking about Alex and Prudence because I know I'm going to have to edit the crap out of them, which is still not filling me with a ton of joy. But I think I'm getting to the point where I'm excited to tackle them again, so hopefully I can get some writing done this weekend in the midst of my mad travel preparations.

Now, though, I need to sleep if I have any hope of getting things done tomorrow - goodnight!

the dream maker's gonna make you mad

I had way too long of a day today, even if a lot of it was positive. I woke up early and made it to my writing date by 7:15, and I wrote for an hour before heading off to catch the bus. Sadly, the bus was nearly twenty minutes late, which was twenty minutes that I could have spent writing, and then it took over an hour and a half to get to work, so all in from the moment I left the cafe to the moment I got to my desk was around two hours. This is getting really old really fast.

So I had to reschedule my morning to accommodate my v. tardy arrival, but that all seemed to go okay, even if it meant my lunch had to be crunched into ten minutes at my desk while doing ten other things. I slogged incessantly until 6:30pm, and then I went to Niamh and Francois's house for dinner (yes, those names are unpronounceable, sorry. Really, though, 'Niamh' is Irish and is pronounced 'Neve', so hopefully that is a good lesson for you today). Niamh did the training that I took on managing your energy a couple of weeks ago, but I knew her in Dublin and it was good to reconnect with her. And her husband is a writer who is about to leave his job, so we obviously had a lot to discuss there.

But before I knew it, it was almost ten p.m., and I still had to drive home. So I sped up to the city, took out my contacts and washed my face, and then slogged for the last hour and a half - some on day job stuff, some on a guest blog post that I had to write and turn in today. And now that my dual personalities have battled themselves for supremacy all day and come to an exhausted draw, I shall go to bed. Goodnight!

high heels off, i'm feeling alive

Today was lovely, although I didn't get nearly enough done at the day job and I'm realizing that I may be screwed tomorrow as a result. But that's okay; I will persevere, as I always do. I drove down to the office and arrive almost in time for my eight a.m. meeting, and then slogged until midday, when I took a break to train with Alyssa over lunch. Then I went back to the office and slogged all afternoon - but since it was meetings, and since I like all the people I met with, this wasn't much of a hardship. I took the shuttle home and intended to work on it, but the traffic was kind of bad, so I slept instead in an effort to avoid carsickness. Then, when I got home, I abandoned the day job laptop and instead took my personal laptop to my favorite French place, where I consoled myself with steak and wine while reading my editor's comments on Prudence and Alex's manuscript.

The verdict is that the changes are not so difficult as to be impossible (and there's a chance her plot suggestions were fueled by too much watching of 'Breaking Bad') - I'm mostly on board with them, although I need to mourn the loss of my belief that I was almost done. But this is a challenge for another day; I'm going to go to sleep, get up super early for a writing date with Kathia (if she shows up), and then slog all day in an attempt to catch up. Goodnight!

it's where my demons hide

Tomorrow is going to be brutal because today was brutal and seven and a half hours of sleep isn't going to be enough to unsuckify it. My commute took two horrible hours this morning, which was a most unwelcome start to my week, although I'm glad that I v. unusually ate something before it (leftover chicken, breakfast of champions) and decided to take the bus instead of driving. Still, it sucked. Then I slogged at work, with several breaks to walk around, all of which were negated by the gluten free red velvet cupcake that I inhaled while celebrating someone's birthday. It's kind of sad that the team knows me well enough now to get me some gluten free confection when they get treats for something, since I then feel compelled to eat it. The sugar crash hit just as I was getting on the shuttle to come home, but luckily the commute back to the city was perfect, so I didn't have to stab anyone with my last ounce of strength.

However, I did have to judge a bunch of not-so-great contest entries that were due today, so that's what I did on the bus and at home for an hour and a half, when I would have rather done anything else. Then I made a steak and a baked potato, ate that in hopes that it would fight off the cupcake coma, and picked up Chandlord so that we could go together to one of the many stops on the bar crawl to celebrate Tom's thirtieth birthday. We backed each other up in being old and sober, but we stayed for an hour, which I thought was totally respectable. Then I dropped her off, came home, and did the task I was dreading all day...I read my editor's editorial letter on Alex and Prudence.

I was not looking forward to this, since I'd read the first paragraph at noon before deciding I couldn't deal, and the first paragraph said something about this being hard but not impossible. Ugh, shoot me. So I finally read the letter tonight, and she was right - hard, not impossible. She's also right about what's wrong, and her suggestions to fix them are great. But guess what? Remember how I was so smug that I made it through this book without rewriting the first half? I'M GOING TO HAVE TO REWRITE THE FIRST HALF. God. Tanks, writing brain.

sssanyway, it's not that bad, but needless to say I'm displeased that my concerns about the book were founded. It would have been so much easier if she'd come back and said she loved it. But the plan to fix this is a story for another day - now I must go to bed immediately. Goodnight!

bang bang, you shot me down

I should have been more productive than I was today, but I should probably stop saying that before I give myself an ulcer. And really, it was quite a good day. I had a 9am writing date with Kathia in North Beach, which I decided to walk to, but I had to go pretty far out of my way so that I could walk around Russian Hill rather than over the top of it (which is, thankfully, not as bad as going over the top of a WWI trench, but is still quite a brutal slog during which some streets turn into steps). But the half-hour walk was a nice beginning to my day, and the cafe was v. lovely and sunny and right on a cable car line, which made for good people-watching. Kathia was just as unenthused about her book as I am about mine, which made me feel a little better even if she's working on the third book she's written in the time it will take me to finish this one. Ha. So we talked for a bit, and then I got a couple of hours of good work done on the editing side before throwing in the towel and walking home.

When I got home, I did a bit of tidying up, then took a shower, then had a late breakfast at my favorite cafe down the street, where I met the new waitress, then learned from the old waitress that one of the other regulars I've noticed in there is actually the first-ever topless dancer in San Francisco. You learn something new every day. I'm glad I learned something new, since I was engaged in the utterly cheerless task of judging entries in a writing contest, which usually fills me with sadness and malaise. Then I came home, talked to my parents, wrote up some judging comments, went out for a drink, came home again, and ate leftover chicken and greek salad while talking to Terry (who found the link to the stripper, so thank her for that).

And now, I must go to bed; I have to go to this thing called a day job tomorrow, which is unfortunate since I have a million other things to do as well. Goodnight!

don't pay no mind to the demons, they'll fill you with fear

I just realized that I need to go to bed immediately if I'm going to meet Kathia for our writing date tomorrow morning - damn. Today was v. fun and v. productive, though. I had breakfast with my CPA, which was a little entertaining (just entertaining enough that it made up for the fact that I now have an even more massive to-do list). Then I came home, took care of some of my to-do list, called my sister, read about some royal family gossip (Wills and Kate are in Scotland visiting the Queen!), and then brainstormed back cover copy until four p.m.

At that point, it was time to stop being a hermit and start hanging out with people my own age. So, I put on some appropriate clothes, changed into even more appropriate clothes when Terry told me it had gotten cold out, and then went to John and Jess's for their Oktoberfest party. My friends there were in fine form, as per usual, but the best joke of the night may have gone to Anthony in reference to Terry's lack of speaking in that crowd. Actually, I think I had told Katrina that she got joke of the night, but now I can't remember what it was. And anyway, everyone was qualified for joke of the night; the six or seven people I knew were all huddled around a side table, ignoring the other thirty people there, as per usual. And it was a glorious time, even if I did drink most of a bottle of wine and thus wrecked myself for any productivity tonight.

But now that I'm done with the interwebs and mostly recovered from my wine experience, I should sleep. Goodnight!

can't you feel my heartbeat running away

I have officially become old. I'm going to ginto bed before 10:30 so that I can get up early and write. Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me either. Today was v productive, though, and I want to keep up my momentum. I slogged all day from home, then got my bangs trimmed and my brows waxed, then bought groceries so I can continue to feed myself. Later, I had drinks with Tom to talk about writing and life, which was great - but I had two double shots of Baileys on the rocks, which was about two more shots than I should have had. And I was so late getting home that I missed my opportunity to have dinner with Terry, which is a shame since I was going to con her into having a steak. So she went out with another friend and I stayed home and ate frozen enchiladas like the winner I am.

And now that I've fallen asleep while trying to write in my journal, I think it's time to go to bed - goodnight!

you better lose yourself

Today was a great day - perhaps not on the level of one of Taylor Swift's fairytale days, but then, I'm kind of glad that I'm me and not her, so I suppose I'll take what I can get. I made it down to the glorious south bay in time to train with Alyssa at eight a.m., which was less brutal than it sounds. Then I showered and made it to the office just in time for my ten a.m. meeting, which was quite interesting and useful and all that. And then I slogged the rest of the day, with a lunch break to have lunch with someone who recently joined the team. I must say that for all that going back to work has severely cramped my eccentric style, I picked a pretty good team to go back to; when I can ignore the annoyances, I can appreciate how nice it is that they all tend to eat lunch together at least a couple of times a week, and that we have cupcakes or champagne or other non-Alyssa-approved celebratory dishes on a v. frequent basis.

sssanyway, I skipped out just before five and picked up John, who had conned me into (or rather, asked me to) take him home with a stop at BevMo to pick up German beer for the party they're throwing this weekend. This was quite a fun errand, and I hit the five cent wine sale hard (eight bottles that will go straight to my liver). Traffic back wasn't bad, and since we took 280 it was even lovelier, which made for a nice backdrop to a rather philosophical conversation about life and choices and mindfulness and all those other buzzwords. I should have been wearing some lululemon yoga pants, but as I don't have any, my dress hopefully sufficed.

After I dropped him off, I came home, made some scrambled eggs with avocado (dinner of champions), and then met up with one of Chandlord's friends for a drink. I considered this more work than personal, so I prioritized it over all the other stuff I should have done tonight (including more fun drinks with someone else). She's starting some sort of mindfulness/yoga/development class/group and Chandlord thought I might be interested. And I think I am; it's so hard for me to carve out time unless I calendar it, and joining a group would probably help. But we shall see.

I walked home, which was a mile and a half down a hill so steep there were stairs cut into it (back in 1915!) for at least three blocks, which made me a little dizzy. And I got hit on by two old guys outside my favorite French restaurant who produced a gigantic fake diamond ring the size of my fist, so they must just sit there and hit on girls all the time (I'd seen them last week and ignored them, but this week I humored them). So really, today was a win all around. Goodnight!

leave me breathless

Today was v. productive, just the way I like it. I almost didn't want to be productive tonight, and very nearly made a dash for freedom by arranging to have drinks with someone, but instead I forced myself to slog and probably felt better for it. I was on the shuttle by 7:25 this morning, worked all the way to the office, and then slogged v. diligently all day (meetings + writing my overdue self assessment). But I cut out at four to take the shuttle home, since I couldn't bear the thought of getting home when it was already dark. And when I got on the bus, I discovered that Terry was similarly slacking, so I sat next to her and we chatted for a few minutes until the bus left campus and any talking would earn an immediate and well-deserved lynching from the surly shuttle crowd.

So I worked all the way home (except for the last twenty minutes, which would have made me throw up on my keyboard if I'd kept working), then took a break and tidied up my room and generally did nothing for an hour. Then I made breakfast for supper, procrastinated for a bit, and then spent two hours editing Alex and Prudence. I got through about forty pages, which was great progress, and I think the second half of the book is smoother sailing than the first, so I hope I can get through with this pass this weekend. I'm still waiting to hear back from my editor, so I'm by no means done yet, but I'm getting closer and can hopefully force myself to get the book out at the end of October as promised.

And now I desperately need to sleep; I'm training with Alyssa tomorrow at eight a.m., which requires leaving her at some ungodly hour (aka 6:40). Goodnight!

i want to be the sand inside her hourglass

I should have gone to bed an hour ago and shut off my laptop an hour before that, but clearly I have failed. Today was fine, but I missed my eight a.m. meeting because the bus took longer than I thought it would. Then I had to sit through a three and a half hour training on discrimination in the workplace, which was much more entertaining than it sounds since zee company pays a very very entertaining lawyer to deliver it. Then I had an afternoon full of meetings, met with the little boss, and left the office a little before six to have a friendship renewal dinner with Tolu and Jane.

When I got home, I had grand plans to write, but I got sucked into watching 'The Voice' with Terry and her sister. And now, I'm spent. Hopefully tomorrow yields a bit more me-time, in the form of time to actually do stuff on my many and varied to-do lists and possibly take some time to write as well. Goodnight!

heaven's got a plan for you

I'm trying something new and trying to avoid screens for an hour before going to bed, so I'm blogging earlier than usual - you'll just have to trust that I made it into bed after this, which I know is a dicey proposition. Today was excellent, though; I worked out with Alyssa, slogged very diligently until sometime after six (with a break to have lunch with Jason, one of my old coworkers), took the bus home, ate some leftover steak (dinner of champions), and then worked on a bit of romance novel stuff until now. Yes, I know that's all v. boring. But then, I lead a v. boring life, when I'm not being oh-so-glamorous (which happens far less than it will when I'm the octogenarian I was born to be).

And now, I'm going to turn off zee computer and discover what I can do in an hour without screens - I'm expecting something miraculous that will probably end up just being boring. Goodnight!

galvanize

I was horrendously productive today, which was a good thing for my puritanical instincts but perhaps a bad thing for my eyes. I spent the morning and early afternoon working on Alex and Prudence, but I eventually had to take a break and get out of the house before I went crazy. So I took a long walk to the bank, then came home and talked to my parents (as per usual). After talking to them, I made a marinade for some meat, then started taking care of all the millions of annoying things that have piled up on my to-do list. I have been a lazy, lazy wench when it comes to everything but writing and the day job for the past, oh, six months, and it shows in the fact that my email inboxes are out of control, my financial tracking is a mess, and everything is generally in a state of constant havoc.

So I spent the evening sending emails for things that happened an embarrassingly long time ago (including billing people for something I paid for in May - ha), although I took a nice break to cook and eat some steak fajitas. I would like to keep going with the productivity kick, since I was in some sort of flow, but I think sleep is more important; I have to train with Alyssa in the morning, and then try to get into this same flow with the day job, where I am perhaps less behind but am perhaps more expected to do stuff. Goodnight!

i just closed my eyes and swung

I had a truly lovely day - between my one social plan for the weekend and some forced productivity + forced downtime, I feel quite accomplished. I got up relatively early and met up with Heather (aka dear respected madam) for brunch down near the ballpark, which is somewhere I never ever go. But the food was great - I had these 'messy eggs' that were full of garlic and onions and bacon, and they were v. delicious. And the company was, as usual, great as well, even if we were seated between two v. noisy parties who made it difficult for us to carry on a real conversation.

After brunch, we adjourned to my salon because I had convinced Heather to come up and get a brow wax and facial from my favorite aesthetician ever. I got my facial first, and it was excellent; the woman has hooked me on all sorts of ridiculous products that have made my skin feel better than it has at any other point in my life, and I told her point-blank that I'd brought her a 'whale', since Heather's addiction to overpriced beauty products rivals my own. And I'm pretty sure Heather bought a whole ton of stuff after, so the salon people should be very happy with me for some time to come. After I was done, Heather got a facial and brow wax while I sat at Peet's and contemplated Prudence and Alex (without much success).

When we'd wrapped up our pampering, I dropped Heather off at her car, went to the grocery store, bought myself a bunch of meat and flowers, and then came home, cleaned out the fridge, cleaned the kitchen, put away the groceries, and arranged my flowers to put in a charming ceramic pitcher in my bathroom (yes, I called my own bathroom charming). Then I wrote in my journal. Then I contemplated working and failed. Then I made a delicious dinner (ribeye and a sweet potato), drank copious amounts of tea, and edited the first thirty pages of Prudence and Alex's story. That may not sound like a lot, but it actually is - you'll have to trust me on that.

And now, I must sleep; I want to get through more than thirty pages tomorrow, and I have some other stuff I should take care of for all my many and varied jobs, so it's time to sleep. Goodnight!

laugh riot

Today was a v. long and tiring day, which is nonsense since I did no real work for the day job. That's not entirely true; I was in a training from nine to five, but the training was on managing my energy, which isn't directly relevant to all the mundanities of my day to day. Of course, managing my energy is crucial in the long term, but I kind of left the day feeling validated that I have a lot of my shit figured out already; with the exception of the fact that my life allows no time for meeting new people or perhaps making a baby (ew), the rest of it is really good. Yes, I'm being obnoxiously smug.

But I got to work out of the evil city, which was nice, and the training was a great exercise. And the trainer invited me over for dinner sometime soon, which might sound weird except for the fact that we knew each other when I lived in Dublin (she's relocated here). So that was all v. nice. Then I came home, made up my bed with fresh sheets, talked to [censored], and had dinner with Terry. After that, I really really didn't want to go out, but I had promised to go to an improv show with some of my coworkers (and had already bought the ticket) - so I took a twenty minute nap, then miraculously rallied and made it down to the Financial District for the show. Sadly, I didn't enjoy the show as much as I thought I would; some bits were funny, but they only performed for <40mins and the ticket was $20, which I thought was v. overpriced. But we adjourned to Hidden Vine and had wine after, so that was nice.

And now, I must sleep, since I have grand plans to both relax and be productive tomorrow, which may be difficult. Goodnight!

you got a fast car

I am so full of meat that it's not really funny anymore - I'm pretty sure I have the meat sweats. I had dinner with some of my coworkers at a Brazilian steakhouse in Palo Alto, and I ate an absurd quantity of meat. We were all starving when we got there since we hadn't eaten much all day, and this place made some seriously legit meat, all of which they brought around on giant skewers and carved off for us as necessary. They even brought out the special skewer of chicken hearts at the request of one of the Brazilians on my team, but it was a little intense to end on organ meat after eating at least two pounds (I may be being conservative here) of other meats. Okay, maybe it wasn't two pounds. But I had two sausages, at least six ounces of filet mignon, more sirloin than I can remember, some tritip, a piece of pork, a piece of turkey wrapped in bacon...I would continue, but now I kind of want to vomit. And then I want to go back and do it again.

sssanyway, the rest of the day was good; I worked out with Alyssa this morning, which was excellent, and then I slogged without respite until 5:45. Then I had a meat feast, then I drove two of the guys on my team back to the city with me, and now I really need to go to bed and sleep off my protein coma so I can be somewhat productive tomorrow. False hope, I know. Goodnight!

i throw my hands up in the air sometimes

For some reason I'm exhausted today - I think it's because I didn't get any downtime at the end of the day between working and immediately jumping into my writing stuff, and that's usually a recipe for disaster. But the day was mostly good; I didn't throw up on the shuttle (high bar for satisfaction there), I was moderately successful in all my meetings, I liked what I ate for lunch, and I got home by 5:15. Easy peasy. And I finished reading through Prudence and Alex over a steak dinner at my favorite overpriced French place, where they know me well enough now that the waiter just asked 'can I take your menu?' rather than asking what I wanted to order. Lovely.

Now, though, I'm going to go to bed even though it's only nine p.m.; I want to sleep the sleep of the just and wake up refreshed enough to enjoy my workout with Alyssa before doing some slogging. Goodnight!

maybe i'm just in love when you wake me up

Today was v. productive for the day job and v. unproductive for the rest of my life. Actually, that's not entirely true; I got a blood test since I haven't had a physical in awhile, but since the blood test wasn't until 9:45, I was totally starving at the end of it. Luckily the phlebotomist realized that my right arm was a no-go and tried my left arm before just jabbing into my right arm and digging around for the vein, so the procedure was totally painless and non-unconsciousness-inducing. And then I went down the block and had breakfast at the closest place I could find with decent Yelp reviews, which was difficult since I was smack in the heart of the overpriced tourist mecca that is Union Square/Chinatown. The coffee was decent, though, and the omelette was pretty good, and really I would have eaten anything to stop my stomach from screaming and my head from spinning.

Thus refreshed, I came home and slogged nonstop for six hours, which was great for my to-do list and v. bad for my eyes. When Terry got home, I was dazed and exhausted, and I couldn't decide between grabbing dinner with her and taking a shower (two v. different things). But I opted for dinner, so we walked down to Chestnut and had a v. casual dinner at some burger place. Then we went to Nectar and attended Kathia's launch party for her latest book (which comes out tomorrow) - she was v. classy and served all sorts of champagne and wine, and it was all lovely. I also had a fun run-in with one of my day job competitors (from the company Jess used to work for), although I doubt they see us as much competition, so it was all v. civil. Then Terry and I came home, I did some desultory stuff around my room, and now I must sleep so that I can hit it hard tomorrow. I'm hoping to spend a little bit less time slogging and a bit more time with Alex and Prudence, but we shall see what happens. Goodnight!

no apologies

I'm way way tired - last night's eight hours weren't enough, and my morning commute was thoroughly miserable. But I made it to my meetings, then trained with Alyssa, then slogged on my own all afternoon (with a break for a walk-and-talk with the woman who manages stuff other than books). I'm happy to report that I got to the bottom of my corporate email inbox, partially by unilaterally archiving all the starred stuff from March.

After work I had dinner on campus, then went to Philz and read half of.Alex and Prudence's book. I have a lot of criticisms of it myself, so hopefully I'll get a lot of quality time to write and sort some of this out.

Now I must sleep - goodnight!

too many shadows, whispering voices, faces on posters, too many choices

Apologies for not blogging last night; usually I blog no matter how much alcohol I've consumed, but by the time I got home (sometime after two a.m.), I was a total wreck. We celebrated Terry's birthday yesterday (happy birthday, Terry!), which meant I capped off a week of sin and iniquity with one last rollercoaster binge before I got back to my regularly scheduled days of working nonstop. In fact, today was supposed to be one of those days, but since I was too wrecked to do anything, I had to settle for sitting on the couch and staring at the television (lame).

Yesterday started off tame; I got up at 7:30 (shocking), puttered around the house, and then did a bit of work before showering - I cleaned my room, printed out a clean copy of Alex and Prudence's story so I can read it and start editing, and did some financial tings. Then I showered, put on a dress, and accompanied Terry to a festive birthday brunch at the fancy French bistro where I sometimes write. Chandlord and Katrina met us there, and it turns out the breakfast food there is fantastic - I'd never had brunch there, but my omelette forestiere was fantastic. I usually don't like omelettes because they can be dry, but these eggs were perfectly cooked, and the bacon/mushrooms/onions on top were also excellent. We split a bottle of champagne with orange juice for mimosas, and generally had a v. lovely time catching up. Unfortunately, I made a mistake adding up my meal + gratuity and was off by a dollar, which wasn't a big deal obvi, but it kind of became a big deal because Chandlord called me on it and then it became clear that I am known for an almost robotic tendency to always be correct about stuff. So that was both hilarious and vaguely terrifying. But if that was my one mistake for the year, I'll take it.

After brunch, we walked Chandlord to Van Ness so she could meet up with Tom Foolery, and then Terry and I came home to recuperate. She watched football and took a nap, but I slogged on with my financial stuff (I'm trying to get Sara Ramsey's house in order - it may be time to set up a business, but I've been avoiding it thus far and am debating how long I can continue without incorporating her). At six, though, I threw in the towel, and Terry and I had a drink at a wine bar on Fillmore, which was an excellent spot. Then we met up with Lauren (aka Subz) for what was supposed to be a v. quiet and sedate birthday dinner.

And it started quiet and sedate; we ordered a bottle of wine and a couple of appetizers (the plantains were to die for), and continued to imbibe over dinner (which, for me, was also to die for - I had a churrasco steak that was out of this world good, grilled perfectly and served with plantains and a fried egg on top, which was shockingly good). Then we ordered another bottle of wine. Why, when there were only three of us, I'm not quite sure, but it seemed like a great idea at the time. And since I think we all expected we'd call it a night shortly after that, it would have been entirely reasonable to drink that much with dinner.

But then as we were leaving, we walked by a fortune teller's sign, and Lauren and I decided to make Terry get her fortune read. So we went up and bought her a palm reading, which we got to sit and observe, which was quite hysterical. The fortune teller told her to avoid Irishmen (because they are awful) and to look for an Italian or Persian guy, or possibly an Armenian or a Spaniard. And then she told Terry that she should go to the W Hotel bar to meet someone (this is relevant later).

So we dragged Terry down the street to another bar, where I had 2.5 cocktails (I believe Lauren did too, but Terry was v. cleverly avoiding her drinks, which is where my .5 cocktail came from) and interacted briefly with some very douchey guys. Then we decided that the W bar was in Terry's destiny, so we cabbed over there and had another drink or two there while chatting to some dudes who were v. entertaining (but also married, so tanks for nothing, fortune teller!). It should be clear to you by now that I was approximately ten drinks in at this point, which explains why I was such a mess today. We finally left there, came home, I somehow miraculously made it into bed, and I slept the sleep of the intoxicated (made slightly less lovely because I forgot to tell my fitness bracelet that I was going to sleep, so it buzzed me every 45 minutes to tell me to get up and walk around).

This morning, needless to say, was a nightmare, and I felt extremely ill (although I wasn't actually sick). Terry ordered me a pizza since I was too hungover to even contemplate walking down the street for my usual huevos rancheros hangover cure, and I sat on the couch and watched football, which is a sign of how messy I was. Then I eventually showered, took care of a couple of minor things, talked to my parents, talked to Terry's brothers (who came over), watched some "Drunk History" with them (I would be a fabulous narrator for that show), and then talked to [censored]. And now, I must sleep; I have to work tomorrow, which should not surprise you, but I also want to get out early so that I can hole up in a coffeeshop and read Alex and Prudence. Goodnight!

look down your glasses at that aranciata

Today was v. tiring but somewhat productive/uplifting despite a few hours of rage in the middle. I got up somewhat early and drove to Palo Alto to train with Alyssa, then drove straight back home to work from home rather than going into the office. This was a fine and dandy plan, and I was on my way to spending some quality time brainstorming the future of my team and our vision and all that fun stuff. But then something happened at work that turned into a firedrill, which kind of ruined my afternoon. Enraged, I signed off at 4:50 and went straight to a pre-arranged massage, which was either the best or worst timing ever. I was so tense that the woman ended up climbing up onto the table and kneeling on my thighs while working on my back, but it really helped me to come down from my rage high.

The day wasn't all bad, though; I bought a new notebook at the Japanese stationery store down the street (a notebook I'd watched a fifteen minute YouTube video on a couple of weeks ago - yes, I'm that much of a dork). So I spent some quality time this afternoon and tonight setting it up and breaking it in. I know, this is nonsensical to just about all of you. I also made myself a steak and a baked potato for dinner, and I brainstormed titles for my next book (the one after Alex and Prudence). I think I came up with some good ones, but I also came up with some ridiculous ones, and I need to ponder some more before making any decisions.

Now, I shall sleep - this is the first time in ages that I'm not setting an alarm, and I am SO EXCITED. If anyone wakes me up, I shall disembowel them and feed their entrails to Karl the Fog. Goodnight!

given the chance, i'm gonna be somebody

Today was particularly brutal, but I seem to have emerged from it unscathed. I didn't sleep very well last night, and it was for far less time than I would have liked, so I woke up groggy and categorically refused to get out of bed to go to yoga with Chandlord. So I slept for another forty-five minutes, which wasn't enough, then dragged myself through the shower and into some pants so I could run for the shuttle. I ended up taking half a mexican dramamine for the ride, since I was already feeling a little nauseated (last night's champagne binge is correlation, not causation), and while it kept me from throwing up all over my shirt, it also made me hella sleepy. Luckily my brain seems capable of rallying in just about any situation, so I think I came off well in the career panel I spoke on - or maybe I came off super cynical and sarcastic, since I had multiple people come up and thank me for being so 'real'. Ha. That's code for something, right?

sssanyway, I had a mimosa after (why? why is there always champagne around me?), then took two bottles of unopened champagne back to my team for their later enjoyment, since they way over-ordered stuff for the mixer after the panel. Then I immediately had four hours of meetings with no break, although I forced a break in there somewhere so I could make a v. boring salad. The meetings were good, though, and I felt reasonably accomplished at the end. So I met up with John and Vidya at TGIF, where we drank some wine (why? why is there always wine around me?) and laughed at jhokes. I only had a tiny bit of wine, so I was able to drive the three of us back to the evil city, which was far more entertaining than taking the shuttle even if tonight's drive was brutal. Then we met up with Jess for an impromptu dinner in my old neighborhood - there's a Mexican restaurant next to Chow that is amazeballs, and I had some of the best carnitas I've had in a very long time, along with a pitcher of margaritas (why? why are there always margaritas around me?). But I didn't finish my margarita, and it was mostly mango anyway, so I'm hopeful that I will sleep the sleep of the just tonight, rather than the sleep of the drunk.

And now I really must sleep; I have a million work things to do tomorrow, since the person who was most inspired by my career advice today may have been myself (hahahaha). Goodnight!

i shake it your way

Happy birthday to me! Thanks for all of you who sent messages, called, tried to call, facebooked, etc. - I had a lovely day of mourning, and I appreciate all of you. I especially appreciate Chandlord, who is exercising decorum and restraint by refraining from forcing me to let her guest blog, even though she's also exercising an odd display of generosity by allowing two drunken Scottishmen/Englishmen to stay in her apartment while she sleeps in my bed. Best birthday gift ever!

sssanyway, today was perfectly lovely. I went to work, met with some people, and then snuck out to train with Alyssa (remember her?) since one of my post-birthday goals is to take some more time for myself that is neither dayjob-related nor book-related so that I don't wreck my body and go totally insane in the process. Then I grabbed my favorite coffee, went back to work, had cupcakes that my team bought for me, slogged for a couple of hours, and took the shuttle home. So industrious, I know.

Upon reaching home, I talked to the parents for a few minutes, then reapplied my lipstick, then walked down to the evil Marina to have dinner with Terry and Lauren (aka Subz). Subz, as usual, grilled me about my future, but I think my answers were satisfactory; I want to write a shit-ton of books without losing my friends or failing to have a life, so that's a good goal, right? Then we adjourned next door to a wine bar, where I had a champagne flight while partaking in some family time with Chandlord, Adit, Priyanka, John, Jess, Terry, Subz, and the Scots/English dudes (the Scottish guy is actually known to me, since I met him during zee German/Indian/Scottish wedding I went to in 2011).

And I'm v. sorry to report to my father that he must stop blaming all of my alcoholic woes on Adit; Priyanka let slip that Adit is more ridiculous around me than he is around most people, so it's possible that I'm actually responsible for his woes. I won't go so far as to claim all responsibility, since he's quite capable of getting drunk without me, but it's possible that the correlation between Adit's presence and my drunkenness isn't as clear as it might seem.

sssanyway again, we had a v. lovely time getting cozy in the least obviously cozy part of the bar, which confused the waitress to no end, particularly since Adit insisted on rearranging all the furniture to make it more cozy. Then, after everyone left, Chandlord and I adjourned to Balboa Cafe with the foreigners + a bunch of unknown cougars, and the four of us (sans cougars, unless I've automatically become one by turning thirty-two) had another drink while discussing how if they walk south and east of Chandlord's apartment into the 'loin, they will meet their deaths. Then Chandlord and I abandoned them to said deaths and came to my place, and now I must sleep so that I can participate in a career development panel for some impressionable minds tomorrow morning. Hahahaha. Goodnight!

you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

I was super surly today, which was not good for my stress levels; the wall I hit hard yesterday continues to block me, but now it's more of a wild oscillation between my desire to get something done and my total apathy for everything on my to-do list. I spent some quality time on the shuttle this morning daydreaming about my next series and thinking of titles, but then I got to work and promptly developed a headache that lasted all day (and somehow seemed to get worse rather than better). I had lunch with Joann, which was lovely and v. long overdue, but then I went back to my desk and couldn't concentrate on anything at all. And since I only had one more meeting (not counting a one-on-one with the little boss, who canceled on me), I caught the four o'clock shuttle and came home to nurse my headache in solitude.

My surliness somehow increased rather than decreased after my nap on the shuttle, but I ate some nachos (not good for me, but good for my surliness) and then reread most of my gargoyles manuscript, which somehow put me in a better mood because that book could be really awesome and I like most of what I have. Then I sent some emails, got ready for tomorrow, and am now going to go to bed in hopes that sleep will improve my mood and my head. It is not lost on me that some of this may be related to getting older, but it seems that more of it is related to being burned out from having a month where both the day job and the writing job were more intense than usual - so hopefully I can recover this month before I do something I'll regret (like chopping off my hair, or developing a crack addiction). Goodnight!

you're my head start, you're my rugged heart

I don't have anything of substance to say about work today, other than that I was too exhausted to fully enjoy it (if 'enjoy' is the right word; it probably isn't, but I can't think of another). I think I finally, brutally hit the wall erected by last weekend's over-extended writing burnout, which has turned my brain to mush and given me a headache that won't die. Which was not the state that I would have preferred to be in to see my gynecologist this morning, but then, I never really want to see my gynecologist (even though she is a lovely woman who makes me laugh), so I suppose I might as well have spent an otherwise-useless morning subjecting myself to her tortures rather than to the tortures of my inbox.

sssanyway, after that, I went to the office, slogged for a few hours, and then rode home with Terry, during which it became apparently I was useless since I was mostly falling asleep on her. We stopped at the grocery store on the way home, so I bought myself a steak and a potato to eat tonight so that I wouldn't have to have an eccentric dinner at my favorite French place. And I decided that I was going to read a book tonight rather than contemplating the million things on my to-do list...which was a good idea. So I picked up Sherry Thomas's upcoming YA debut, THE BURNING SKY; I have had an advance copy since RWA but was saving it for a raining day, and this was it.

And I'm happy to report that it restored a bit of my happiness, even if my brain is too mushy to force back into usefulness. I finished the whole thing, as is my wont, and really enjoyed it, even if I'm not glad that I have to wait for the next two books in the series. But it made me eager to get back to my non-gargoyles book, so maybe I'll think about that tomorrow. Or maybe I'll stare, drooling, at the wall until my thoughts come back. Fun times all around. Goodnight!

the time has come to galvanize

I was totally wrecked all day today, but last night was worth it. I woke up at seven and couldn't go back to sleep, which means I was under-rested for my writing date this morning - but it allowed me to go down the street for some restorative huevos rancheros first, so that was good. Then I met up with Kathia and caught up with her for a bit before commencing zee work; I'm trying to plot the next novel on my list (featuring the villain in Prudence's story), and this is a good time to do it since I am trying to keep from opening Prudence and Alex's book so I can come back to it with fresh eyes next weekend. I didn't get very far this morning, but given that everything was spinning and I felt like death, the amount of progress I made was actually astonishing.

After writing, I came home, cleaned the kitchen to restore it to its former glory, and then took a nap. Then I talked to zee parents, who were in fine form, although it's like a million degrees there, which makes me feel silly for complaining about yesterday's one day of heat in San Francisco. The fog is back and I can hear the horns tonight, which is v. comforting. After talking to them, I ate some nachos (dinner of champions), watched some football with Terry (clearly I couldn't comprehend the thought of doing anything, since I had no desire to watch football), then came upstairs and took a v. restorative bubble bath. Then I made some notes on the not-so-secret young adult non-gargoyle book that I pick up and put away again in the breaks between my historical romances; I kind of want to finish it this year, but we'll see whether I have the time. And now that I've exhausted myself just thinking of it, I'm going to go to bed early so I can get nine hours of sleep before work tomorrow. Goodnight!

say my name, say my name

Double entendre. Ha!

Terry is v. transfixed by a football game...which was true three hours ago, when I began to write this blog post. I would like to claim that I am perfectly sober and reliable as a narrator of my own story, but that would require a leather jacket and a 'mission accomplished' banner, neither of which are easily procurable or accurate. So I will fill you in by saying that I had a birthday party/royal baby shower today, which went off with flying colors.

As usual, I way overextended myself and made way too much food, but this is not something I regret. As usual, Chandlord threw a drink down my shirt, then demanded to have cake (which I had no intention of baking). As usual, Adit called and feigned ignorance of my party, only to show up ninety seconds later. As usual, Heather (aka dear respected madam) was a v. good sport. As usual, Katrina didn't understand basic human sexuality. As usual, John made awkward sexual references to my fake baby doll (who was Prince George for the evening). As usual, Subz took me at my word and showed up with a fascinator, which was v. welcome.

So basically, as usual, everyone was totally ridic. I made a v. tasty champagne punch with cognac, triple sec, and grand marnier, which was dangerous and encouraged bad behavior. And bad behavior was easily achieved - this was one of zee most enjoyable nights I've had in quite some time, particularly since everyone turned my ham sandwich into a birthday cake and did a candle ceremony for me (in which everyone said something nice, then blew out their candle, which got dangerous for the last people to go since the candles were dangerously short by that point).

Post party, I went out with Adit and Priyanka, which was a mistake I was willing to live with. Then Priyanka and I talked for a bit before I uber'd it home like the fancy bitch I am. And now I must go to sleep - goodnight!

like a drum my heart never stops beating for you

I desperately need to get some sleep, so I really shouldn't be blogging - but if I hadn't forced myself to blog to the point of this becoming a mindless habit, I would never blog again. So I suppose you should be grateful? If 'grateful' is the right way to describe the feeling you should have when reading the drivel about my everyday life. I'm out of words, so you're going to have to settle for 'grateful' even if it's likely something v. different.

sssanyway, I took the shuttle down to the office this morning, slogged for several hours, had lunch with some people on zee team, and left at 2:15 so I could beat traffic to the city. Once here, I got my bangs trimmed and my brows waxed, then went to Target and Whole Foods, and then came home, where I was too tired to do anything I had planned to do. Oops.

But I rallied my energy levels and had dinner with Terry, as previously planned. We walked down to Chestnut to have dinner at the restaurant where I took my parents while they were here, but we stopped by the wine bar next door first to say hi to my friend Kathia, who plied us with wine in the fifteen minutes we had between our arrival and our departure. Then we had a lovely steak dinner (for me, at least; Terry was basically a vegetarian and ordered the chicken) and discussed Alex and Prudence's book. Terry read the draft yesterday and today and gave her feedback tonight, which was incredibly helpful. And I had three and a half glasses of wine, which was also helpful. Then we came home and I was going to do some drunk baking, but I thought better of it, so I'm going to go to bed and then get up and hit it all tomorrow. Goodnight!

it's where my demons hide

I made it onto the shuttle by 7:35 this morning, which was kind of miraculous given how tired I was, but the day went way better than I expected. I slogged (kind of), had meetings all afternoon, and then sat around on the couches near my desk and had champagne with some of my coworkers. I may or may not have had approximately half a bottle, which was awesome (I chose the champagne, so it wasn't swill), but it meant that I had to leave my car there and take the shuttle home, which means I have to go to Mountain View in the morning instead of working from home. Oops.

But things are good, even if I feel behind on everything - the book is off being reviewed by zee editor, stuff at work is progressing, and I seem on track to see some friends this weekend, so that's all great. Now, though, I am desperate for sleep and sad that I have to get up and catch the shuttle, so wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

lionheart

I think I desperately need a day away from all devices. Maybe a week, although I'm not going to get it. But today was particularly rough; I slogged v. aggressively until seven p.m., then was on call for something going on at work while I ate pizza and watched 'So You Think You Can Dance' with Terry (it's a sign of how tired I was that I actually watched it with her, since I usually avoid it at all costs). Then I came upstairs, spent some quality time washing my face with many and varied products, and then wrote ten pages to complete the scene that was still missing from Prudence and Alex's book. But I finished it, liked it, and sent the whole thing off to my editor - so it's done done, which is great, and just in time for me to take six hours off before needing to start edits so I can release it publicly at the end of October.

And now it's one a.m., and I had intended to get up five hours from now. I don't know if that's possible, but imma see what I can do. But yay for productivity! And I'm hatching a plan to have mimosas at work tomorrow, so at least I have that to look forward to. Goodnight!

my feet are still sore, my back is on the fringes

I should have gone to bed when I was tempted to two hours ago...stupid. Today was totally fine, but I'm in the middle of my writing hangover, which means that thinking is difficult and the last thing I want to do is stare at a screen. Sadly, I had to work, and I also had to write tonight (there is a scene I didn't finish that I want to insert for my editor), so I slogged all day, then came back to the evil city and went to my favorite French bistro, where they very efficiently plied me with steak and wine while I wrote some sexytimes.

The day wasn't all work, though - I had a delightful lunch with Chandlord, who helped me to eat less by spilling her water all over me and my half-eaten plate of food. Tanks! And I listened to music and stared out the window all the way home on the shuttle, which was good for my relaxation even if it wasn't good for my to-do list. And now I'm going to go to bed, wake up, and work from home in the morning, which hopefully means I'll get some stuff done. Goodnight!

my finger is on the button

Sorry for not blogging last night. Words have been in short supply for anything but the manuscript. But I'm DONE. Just in time to take twenty minutes off between my four-day working weekend and my upcoming four-day workweek. Hahahahahaha *dies*.

I'm alternating between loving and hating it, so I sent it off to the editor with both eagerness and total fucking trepidation. Eagerness because I want feedback; trepidation because there are some problems I currently sense and don't yet know how to fix, and I'm too tired/burned out/behind on the deadline to fix them. But at least it's off. I have to write another scene tomorrow to send to her as an insert, but that's like a walk in the park compared to the hundred pages I wrote in the last four days. Yes, I wrote a hundred pages. If I could write like that all the time I would be a machine, but I would be a dead machine, so it's good that I don't do that.

Anyway, yesterday and today were good if you're a hermit, bad if you're not. I did get out of the house last night to have dinner at Lauren and Nathan's, which was the only remotely fun thing I did this weekend (unless you count talking to my parents while sitting on the roof yesterday). I guess I went to Starbucks and got a tea at some point. And I had a conversation with the owner of Morning Due yesterday, so that was good. And I cleaned the drain filter in the washing machine. Yes, my life is v. exciting.

So, yay to being done, boo to having to go to work tomorrow, book to the ulcer that will probably form while I wait for my editor to get back to me and I consider all the ways I messed this up, yay to remembering all the great bits that I wrote. Goodnight!

sweet nothing

I wrote twenty-five pages today. That's amazing, but it was pretty brutal; I should have just not worked this morning and read a book or something instead, but I kept trying to force it, and as a result I burned out my eyes and also didn't get much done. But I managed to get my shit together and do some serious writing this afternoon and tonight. So hopefully I will remember this lesson tomorrow and just go for a walk or something.

But now I desperately need to sleep - hopefully I can finish the book tomorrow. I need to write four more scenes and do a full read-through, so I don't know if it's actually possible, but I'm going to try - I would dearly love to take Monday off. Goodnight!

see the substance i abuse

I'm utterly wiped out. I took today off from the day job, but it wasn't really a day off - I forced myself to sit at my laptop and write and write and keep writing even when it hurt, and I ended up writing eighty-two hundred words words, which may be a personal best. That's approximately thirty-three pages, for those of you keeping score at home. I'm still not done, which is really a shame; I was hoping I would finish so that I could take the weekend off. But finishing would have been impossible, I think, since I don't know that I could have wrung much more out of me.

Or maybe I could; I'm going to see what I accomplish tomorrow. But I'm out of words and don't want to waste any on the blog, so goodnight!

i'd never lie to you and that's a fact

No more words, must go to bed. Today was longer at the office than I would have wished, although the last hour was spent drinking bourbon in place of the celebratory champagne I would have had if the project I was working on had actually launched like it was supposed to. Instead, I was stuck with bourbon, and the champagne will (hopefully) happen next week. Then I had dinner with Heather (aka dear respected madam), which was delightful. Then I came home and thought I would write, but instead I worked for the last hour and a half since I'm taking tomorrow off and wanted to get some stuff done in advance.

And now, to sleep, and perchance to dream up the last few chapters of Alex and Prudence. Goodnight!

maybe i'm going deaf, maybe i'm going blind

Bleh...no words. Work was fine, but I continue to be subjected to the whims of others (which I suppose is why it's work and not something else). So I left at five, checked my mail in Palo Alto, and had a dinner for one (replete with half a margarita) while working on Alex and Prudence. It was going pretty well until someone sat too close to me at the bar and I suddenly got uncomfortable typing about nipples and what Alex was or wasn't doing to them, so I came home. Then I talked to [censored], and then I was going to write, but instead I vegged out and read a v. long piece on Marissa Mayer's rise to power. Yes, useful.

Now I must sleep, since I don't have her ability to get by on four hours of sleep. Goodnight!

always one foot on the ground

Today didn't quite go as planned. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it didn't go as planned at all. I did manage to write for an hour before work this morning, but I only got two pages, since the sex scene was still going slowly. Then I drove down to work, did some slogging, had lunch with Alaska Matt (okay, that was according to plan, and it was lovely), and then was supposed to finish a big project at work...

...but I couldn't finish it because I was waiting on someone else. For hours. Finally I said it wasn't happening today and caught the 6pm shuttle home, and I did some work on it until I was suddenly, nearly violently/uncontrollably carsick. Luckily I didn't vomit on anyone or anything, but it was close. So I recuperated by sitting on the couch when I got home, rather than writing. And I had a frozen enchilada (dinner of champions) and talked to Terry for a bit. I did manage to write another page tonight, but again, it's slow going. And since my work task for today got punted to tomorrow, tomorrow is shaping up to be a wreck as well. So that means I need to go to sleep immediately so that I can get up and write either before or on my way to work (or both). Goodnight!

bloodstains, ballgowns, trashing the hotel rooms

I was trying to get another three pages before bedtime, but I'm totally spent, so I think I'm going to go to bed and try to hit that shit tomorrow. Literally, I suppose, since I'm stalled on a sex scene (they always take three times as long to write as anything else, and I've skipped two of them, so I have to go back and fill them in at some point).

Today was spent almost entirely looking at laptops, with a couple of quick walks to control my annoyance at work tings + a break to eat huevos rancheros. I worked from home, but I was online at 8:15 to participate in some meetings, and then I had to take care of various tings all afternoon. But I put away the work laptop at six and walked down the street to my favorite French place, where they are completely used to my eccentricities, so didn't bat an eye at me eating a steak and drinking a glass and a half of wine and a pot of coffee while write ten pages or so. Good of them, right? And I'm glad I finished the scenes I finished, even if I'm getting closer to the point where the sex scenes are all I have left.

But now, I really should sleep; I have to go into the office tomorrow, but I want to write before I go, so that means getting up at some stupidly early hour. Goodnight!

we're driving cadillacs in our dreams

This weekend has been quite rough, I've gotta say. I know, it doesn't sound rough to sit around drinking wine and writing sexytimes, but it's actually totally brutal. So today I was feeling a little bit burned out, and also feeling like if I didn't see a friend or two, I might get disowned. This led to some v. bad behavior, if by 'bad behavior' you mean that I didn't write for three or four hours this afternoon. Bad Sara, right?

I got up at a reasonably early hour (does 8:30 count as early?) and wrote for ninety minutes, then showered and met up with Katrina and Chandlord for lunch. Katrina's birthday was last week, but I hadn't had a chance to celebrate with her, so we went to Nopalito and ate fancy Mexicanish food and drank mimosas. She had this awesome coffee with tequila in it that I would have rather had, but I needed to work, so I abstained. But on my way home from our glorious outing, I got a call from John and Jess, who were on their way home from Chrissy Field...so they stopped at my place, and then I went to Roam with them and drank a glass of chardonnay while they ate.

It was v. good to see them all, of course, and I have no tangible regrets beyond the vague feeling that I should have squashed my extroverted tendencies and worked instead. But I got a few good hours in later this afternoon/evening while nursing a mug of chai, so that's great. Unfortunately, I blew the last two hours trying and failing to hook up a new wireless router while talking to Terry, which was super annoying. So now I need to decide between going to sleep immediately so that I can get up early tomorrow, or forcing myself to write another scene before bed. Decisions, decisions. Goodnight!

the king has been overthrown

I have no words left with which to blog, but I eked out four thousand words today, which is something close to twenty pages. And I think they were mostly really good words, but it's hard to tell now, and I'm daunted by how much I have left to do. Or perhaps I'm daunted by how tired I am; I didn't sleep as well as I had planned to last night, which made me groggy this morning. And I had two glasses of wine at dinner, which never bodes well for late-evening productivity - but I was deep in the zone and working over dinner, so that was totally worth it. The guy at my favorite French place asked me why I was there 'early', since he usually sees me on Sundays instead of Saturdays (not every Sunday, but still) - so I suppose it's clear that I have an addiction to their steak frites and their cabernet blend.

The rest of the day is thoroughly uninteresting, I'm sure; I ate breakfast, procrastinated, wrote, read articles online, wrote, talked to my mother while sitting on the roof in the vain attempt to pretend that I'd gotten out of the house, wrote, and had dinner down the street. Then I came home, wrote for a bit longer, took a bath (in which I think I fell asleep), tried to write, and instead answered a few of the many business/personal emails that I've been neglecting for weeks.

And now, I must sleep if I'm going to get up early tomorrow and conquer the day as I intend to. Goodnight!

you forgave and i won't forget

Day one (or maybe day zero-point-five, since it was a weekday) of my writing weekend extravaganza went pretty well, which is almost surprising. I caught the 8:20 shuttle and managed to write a page or two on the way down to work, and then I slogged for a few hours and tried to get caught up from this week's madness (not possible). Then I cut out of work around three to drive back before traffic hit, which was mostly successful except for the last three miles, which took half an hour. But I got home, cleaned my room, cleaned the drain filter in the washing machine, folded clothes, cleaned the kitchen, etc....or, in other words, I procrastinated.

But I started writing around 7:30, and I ended up getting ten pages. That's awesome on a normal day, but I wish I could have gotten to twenty. However, I'm way too tired to keep going, and I'll be better tomorrow if I get some sleep tonight, so goodnight!

the songs all sound the same

I'm way way tired, but the summit ended successfully, so that's great news (and a huge relief). And I celebrated by grabbing a glass of wine from one of the cafes, drinking it in the sun, and then taking a ride home with Chandlord. It was lovely to see her, but it would have been lovelier if it hadn't taken somewhere close to two hours to get home. Once I got here, I messed around on zee internet, ordered pizza, took a nap, ate the pizza when it arrived, and then skimmed through Prudence and Alex in an attempt to get back into the story so that I can hit it hard this weekend. It's due to my editor on Monday (as I believe I've told you ad nauseum), and I'm so far from done that it's almost frightening.

So, I'm going to try to sleep for nine hours, then go to the office and do only the most necessary things before I peace out and write all weekend. Goodnight!

the public don't dwell on my transmission

Day Two of the summit was another success, so as long as we can pull off tomorrow without killing anyone or having a major tech meltdown, I think we'll be good. Which in some ways is a bad thing, since I never want to plan another summit again and would have been able to get out of doing it if I had engineered a catastrophe. C'est la vie...but the next team that asks me to plan a summit is going to get a swift stab in the face (probably followed by acquiescence, because that's how I roll).

Today was good, though, even if I didn't sleep enough. And it ended at Tied House in Mountain View, where I wish I could have continued drinking the v. decent free wine - but I had to drive back to campus to catch the shuttle to the city, so I had to refrain. Which is probably for the best, when I consider that I must be coherent tomorrow. Perhaps I shall have to be self-indulgent tomorrow night and come back to the city to relax/drink some wine in preparation for my long weekend of writing/slogging/hermitville (with perhaps one fun plan to keep me from going mad). Now, though, I should really sleep - goodnight!

the sun will be no more

Day One of the summit went well, if I do say so myself; we were mostly on time, and there was only one potential disaster, which I managed to avert with no one being the wiser. However, after like a million hours of talking and not nearly enough hours (or minutes) of downtime, I desperately need to sleep.

However, one important note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA!!!!!!! (it was yesterday, but in my stupid haze I forgot to say it on zee blog). Goodnight!

global concepts

Today was great, if you want me to return to my old workaholic ways. I'm way behind on my book, but I ignored it to work for the last three hours so that I could be caught up for tomorrow. This was probably the right choice, since I will be publicly embarrassed if I don't finish the stuff for the summit, while I will only be privately embarrassed if I send a shitty first draft to my editor. But still - I may go mad by this time next week, so let's hope I can keep my shit together.

sssanyway, that's all I have to say, since I worked all day and all night (with a break to drive home with Terry, during which I may have been just close enough to madness that a lesser mortal would have been v. scared). And now I must sleep, if I can relax sufficiently, so that I can be on top of my game tomorrow. Goodnight!

leave all your love and your longing behind

I'm way way exhausted, and I didn't hit my page count goal for the day...boo. I also didn't do any work for the day job, which is either a yay or a boo depending on how you think tomorrow will go for me (I have low expectations). But it's all better than it could have been, I suppose. After all, I didn't get hit by a bus, so things could always be worse.

I was up and about by nine, which was harder than I expected (although the Jawbone bracelet I've been wearing for the past six weeks told me that I got very little deep sleep last night for some reason, so maybe that explains it). And I made it to my nail place by ten to get the gel removed from my fingernails - and I refrained from getting gel again, even though I love the look. Then I was supposed to go to a birthday party, but I bailed in the interest of writing. I drove to Morning Due, since I was starving and needed to work - and, fortuitously, Adit and Priyanka joined me there. Priyanka only stayed to eat, since she had to go to work, but Adit and I worked there for another three hours or so, which was v. productive.

But after writing ten pages or so, I was too tired to continue, so I came home and sat on the roof while talking to my parents. That wasn't enough to help me recover my brain energy, so I sat on the couch and did nothing (well, I did something - I changed the prices on all my books everywhere but Amazon so that I can change Amazon tomorrow). Then Terry and I made dinner - we were going to go out and have steak, but instead we stayed in and had steak fajitas, which was possibly better. And then I came upstairs with the intention of writing, but I messed around instead because I couldn't think of any new words.

And now I should go to bed - this week is going to be really brutal. Goodnight!

the dog days are over

I'm pretty happy with how much I got done today, even if I deeply, deeply regret that I have to go to work on Monday. I could really use a full week (or month) of writing to get this book done, but I'm not going to get it. Boo.

However, I made good progress today. I met up with my friend Kathia for a writing date, and I wrote for close to three hours before throwing in the towel and parting ways with her. Then I grabbed lunch and wrote for another couple of hours. However, I needed a bit of a break tonight, so Terry and I walked down to Chestnut so that I could buy overpriced hand soap and look at new laptops at the Apple store (I refrained from the laptop, but the soap was kind of a necessity). Then we picked up salads, came back, and watched the second episode of this season of "Project Runway", in which we realized that Millennials are taking over the reality tv space and that the world is going to really suck as they continue to take over more of the workforce. Two different youngish twenty-somethings made the most hideous dresses ever, but one of them was really proud to have not given up, and the other was super-confident that she was the best evening-wear designer ever until she saw her dress compared to the other dressed people put up, and then she sobbed so hard about how awful her dress was that they had to stop the runway show so that Tim could console her. I mean, really, wtf? Get your shit together and sew a damn dress or get off the show. Or get the kids off my damn lawn, as the case may be. Yes, I'm becoming a curmudgeon.

After that, I excused myself from the living room and came upstairs, where I successfully wrote for the last three hours or so. I got through the awkward first scene with Prudence's mom, which I'd been putting off for a couple of months, so that's good news. And maybe Alex and Prudence will have sex tomorrow! Isn't that exciting? In preparation for that awkwardness, I suppose I should sleep -- goodnight!

this is my kingdom come

Today was more brutal than I expected; I overslept, so when I woke up at nine I had to start working immediately (without even getting dressed or making tea), and I worked for three hours before starvation forced me to close my laptop. So I showered, grabbed lunch, did a bit more work, and then cut out for a couple of hours to get my hair cut. Yes, so important. Then I bought groceries, came home, worked for another hour or two, and then made supper (steak and a baked potato, yum).

I was going to write for many hours tonight, but I only wrote for two - and it wasn't full-on first draft writing, but rather reworking some of the beginning. I also cleaned out my medicine cabinet, my makeup shelf in my linen closet, and the area under my sink - not that this was immediately necessary, but I tend to want to throw stuff away (or run away screaming) when I hit certain points in my manuscript, so I gave in to the urge to purge. And now, I must sleep; I have a writing date tomorrow morning, and I want to sleep a lovely amount before that happens. Goodnight!

when i'm no longer young and beautiful

Today felt like a lazier day than I intended to have, probably because I actually took time to have lunch (shocker) instead of working during that hour. Not that I really slacked off; I started working as soon as I got on the shuttle at eight, and I did work-related activities until 4:15. But then I took the shuttle home, and I ended up falling asleep rather than working...which was probably for the best, since the shuttle took almost two hours and I would have been waaay carsick if I'd stayed awake. So I came home, ate some frozen enchiladas (dinner of champions), and then got a massage.

The massage felt self-indulgent but utterly necessary, since I've been stressed and everything hurts. And, in my deep deep relaxation, I figured out what's wrong with the first half of Alex and Prudence's book. Yes, that means I'm going to have to rewrite it, as per usual. But luckily I don't think I have to rewrite as much as I thought I would, and now that I've made the decision, I can just move forward and do it rather than continuing to dither over the rewrite.

So I guess that's good news, but I need to write tens of thousands of words this weekend (not an exaggeration, unfortunately) while somehow getting ready for next week's work tasks. That means I need to be massively productive tomorrow...wish me luck. Goodnight!

in a tidal wave of mystery

I should have gone to bed ages ago...surprisingly, I was mostly functional at work despite not getting nearly enough sleep last night, but I should have tried to get more sleep tonight than I'm going to. However, today was mostly good despite some frustrations - I continue to be bemused about summit planning, but I shall survive (I think). But I had lunch with Ramsey, who I shared an apartment with in India many years ago (and who was not an inspiration for my penname, if you're curious). And I got enough work done between 9am and 6:45pm that I felt no need to work tonight, even if it might have been smart.

So I took the shuttle home, slept most of the way, and then was going to write...but I'm too tired and I needed to decompress, so I made some bacon and eggs and drank a glass of wine while talking to Terry. Then I came upstairs, straightened up my room, and played around with publishing-related stuff for the last couple of hours. And now I must sleep before the day job attempts to kill me tomorrow - goodnight!

don't make a scene, don't make a sound

Today was like a return to the bad old days of the day job, back when I slogged nonstop without ever feeling like I was making a dent in my to-do list. In retrospect, I shouldn't have bothered to go into the office - I had a couple of early meetings that I took from home, and then I was quite productive until about noon. But I thought I should put in some face time, so I went down to Mountain View, where I was promptly hideously unproductive and distracted. Then I left at 4:30 so I could go to the post office on an errand I'd been putting off for weeks, so at least that's done.

I was supposed to write tonight, and I did write two pages (over steak and a glass of wine, but it wasn't as magical as my steak and wine writing attempt on Sunday). But I had way too much day job stuff weighing on me to concentrate, so I came home to work. I got roped into planning this summit for my team, which is like a miniature version of the stuff I used to do for the big boss -- which, if you remember, I was quite good at, and yet I kind of sort of hated. So, it's like I'm having a mini-hatefest for a miniature version of my old life. Maybe this is the equivalent of that weird little fetus-like scrap of Voldemort's soul dying under a bench in Harry Potter's version of Kings Cross station - or maybe equating planning a small summit to the dying gasps of a fundamentally evil (and fictional) soul is a wee bit melodramatic.

sssanyway, I need to go to bed - the laptop battery is about to die from all the slogging I did in the past four hours, and I'm a sad camper as a result. Goodnight!

did i leave my life to chance or did i make you fucking dance

It's a shame that I have to go to sleep...I feel like I'm on a bit of a roll productivity-wise, and my body's need for sleep is going to kill that. C'est la vie, I suppose. I didn't write enough today - in fact, I wrote less than a page, which is just embarrassing. But in my defense, I was going to write on the shuttle this morning, but I'm approaching a sex scene, and I didn't want to write it with the bored bro-type sitting next to me. Then I spent the entire day slogging pretty effectively, with a lovely impromptu break to have lunch with Chandlord, who started a new job (!) at my place of employment (!!) today (!!!). I'm super psyched that she's there, even if she was one of the last holdouts among my friend group who had never worked there.

Some time in the sun was just what I needed, though; I think I've been a bit depressed the past couple of weeks, probably because I've been sitting in a fog-ridden wasteland. So walking around and eating in the sun was just what the doctor ordered, even if s/he would have rather that I walked around in sneakers instead of heeled boots. The rest of the day was mostly uneventful; I'm not caught up with life by any means, but the day job is starting to feel just the tiniest bit under control (which means it will no doubt blow up tomorrow). I took the shuttle home with grand plans to write, but instead I listened to music for a couple of hours, folded my clothes, did the dishes, and made myself an odd supper of eggs with andouille sausage, jack cheese, and sour cream. And then I did some stuff for a secret project, and now I must sleep before I make tomorrow too brutal for myself. Goodnight!

it's a nice day to start again

I can't believe I have to go to the day job tomorrow...this is the peril of working all weekend. I think I'm going to take Labor Day weekend off and blow it on coke and hookers. And by 'coke and hookers' I mean 'sleep and books'.

But there's no rest until then...the day job is going to be busy the next couple of weeks, and I have about thirty thousand words to write in the next couple of weeks. This is theoretically possible but realistically impractical. However, I made a decent dent today - I wrote close to four thousand words, which is something like sixteen pages, which is way more than I thought I was going to achieve this morning. Prudence and Alex were killing me this weekend, and unfortunately I had the realization that the antagonist in the book may be hotter than Alex is -- but that could be because I currently want to stab Alex in the face with a steak knife, so I have a lot in common with the antagonist. Hmm.

However, I persevered and bled the pages out, first over food at Morning Due, then at my desk, then over an overpriced dinner for one at a French bistro down the street. But if the cost of writing the best words of the day was buying a steak and a glass of wine for myself, the cost was totally worth it. Then I came home, theoretically wrote some more (in practice I got less than a page), did a tiny bit of work for the day job, and then messed around with some epub formatting software until now. I want to update all the backmatter for my existing books to include some of the tips and tricks I learned in Atlanta (including buy links specific to each retailer rather than feeding through my site, updating the calls to action, etc)., but I've been putting it off because my old epub formatting software broke and I didn't want to face the learning curve of a new one (or buy a new laptop to regain compatibility with the latest upgrade of the old software). But I want to sell more books, and every little bit helps...so I suppose I should get on this.

Anyway, that's my super boring, super productive, super uninteresting, super repetitive day. And now I shall bid you adieu. Goodnight!

what rhymes with hug me

I wrote today, but it was all hard-fought and alternated with a lot of napping (thanks to the past two weeks with v. little sleep and not enough downtime). And even though I wrote ten pages, it wasn't the thirty I was hoping for (although why I thought I should be able to write thirty pages is unclear even to me). So, I'm going to take my hermity self to bed and hope that I can get up early enough to be productive before noon, since that seems to be the key to writing a lot of words. Goodnight!

you turned out to be the best thing i never had

I would have liked to have been in bed three hours ago because I'm a curmudgeonly octogenarian-in-training, but instead I went out and had fun (quelle horreur). My work day was mostly good, and I managed to check a few things off my infinite to-do list while eating enough carbs and drinking enough masala chai to make myself feel well and truly sick. Then I rallied to spend a couple of hours at Fiesta, where I drank more tequila than someone my size should be able to drink without passing out. Thank you, liver, for your excellent service in the face of extreme peril.

The reason for my excessive margarita consumption was that I was going to a country concert, and I managed to drink so much at dinner that I forgot to finish my entree. Again, quelle horreur. But I hung out with Terry (at whose behest I was attending) and Lauren (aka Subz, aka the friend who was also tricked into seeing the concert). They were both in fine form, and we caught up at the restaurant before going over to the concert. The main act was Luke Bryan, who I am led to believe is quite famous, and is no relation to a man in my county named Clell who shares his last name. The concert was lovely, even if I didn't know any of the songs, and it was nice to bask in Terry's happiness while I gave the side-eye to the people around me who were 'booty popping' just as I was considering the lost art of the Regency waltz.

And now that I'm home and hiccupping in my rapid-onset sobriety, I should go to bed. Goodnight!

we are never ever ever getting back together

I should have gone to bed the moment that I walked in the door, but I suppose I needed to decompress from a whole day of talking to people. I had to go down to the office for an 8:30 meeting, but luckily the person I was meeting with showed up, so I didn't have to kill anybody. Then I sat in meetings the rest of the day, with a very brief break, and then I had a v. long dinner with a bunch of people on my product's extended team.

So, that was all v. lovely, but that also means I have nothing worth sharing, since it was all internal conversations that are both uninteresting to you and prone to get me fired if I share anything. But I did do some excellent mental work on Prudence and Alex while I was driving to the office this morning; I couldn't think about them on the way home because I took two people back to the city with me, but hopefully I can sleep on the thoughts I had this morning, formulate them into something more concrete, and get ready to write a million words this weekend. And on that overly ambitious and destined-for-failure note, I'm going to bed - goodnight!

i hate these blurred lines

The parents have returned to Iowa, leaving me bereft. Alternatively, they've left me with sleep deprivation and a mountainous pile of email and to-dos to sort through. Take your pick. Either way, though, their visit was v. lovely, and I'm glad that they came out! And it seems that last night's dinner was an utterly rousing success, even when viewed through the lens of my sober post-party survey of the dirty dishes in my kitchen. Luckily, cleanup was pretty easy since other people loaded the dishwasher last night (thanks, other people!), so I ran that load, then another load, and did a bit of handwashing of pots and pans. But everything's all clean and sparkly, and I had leftover tacos and a leftover glass of chardonnay for supper, which was exactly what I was in the mood for.

Anyway, this morning started off on an incredibly surly note when someone stood me up for an eight a.m. meeting - it was the second time this week, and I'm in a killing mood. I got some work done after that, then picked up my parents, had lunch with them, and hung out for a bit before taking them to the airport. Then I came home, did a couple of meetings, tried to work, and was too overwhelmed by everything I have to do to continue. So I ate supper, then read through all of Prudence and Alex's manuscript so far. The good news is that I like almost all of it (or can see how to make it better); the bad news is that I'm only halfway through and it's due in 2.5 weeks. Lololololol. This wouldn't be quite so bad if I didn't have two major projects at work culminating in the next three weeks. But if I survive to the end of August, I'm taking a mental health break in September, I swear. And I expect you to hold me to it.

After talking to Terry for a bit, I came upstairs with the intention of going to bed, but instead sent a bunch of emails so that I wouldn't hate myself quite so much in the morning. And now I'm going to go to bed, knowing that I'll probably hate myself anyway, since I have to get up at 6:30. Goodnight!

why don't you slide

Today was perfectly lovely, if I do say so myself. It was just the right combination of family, family time, old friends, even older friends, and general merrymaking. Of course, it started off brutally; I only got six hours of sleep, which is not enough for my octogenarian tendencies, and I had to roll out of bed and immediately clean my bathroom and go grocery shopping (my two least favorite things to do). But I was successful on all counts, and managed to pick my parents up in time for our 10:30am meeting with Vova, Oleg, and Daniel. Granted, I would have been late if I wasn't extremely aggressive in my maneuverings through the Tenderloin, but that's the way I roll.

So the six of us met up, and then we went down to the glorious south bay to tour my place of employment. It was a gorgeous day in Mountain View, so we had lunch outside, then saw my office (my minions, as one of them introduced himself, probably thought I was showing them off like zoo animals, so I hope that doesn't come back as feedback on my next review). Then we went to the onsite store, where my Ukrainian friends loaded up on gear (and I grew increasingly excited about the idea of rebranding Ukraine and having it be run by my current employer). After all that, we were supposed to go walk around Stanford, but everyone was tired, so we did a driving tour instead before coming back to the evil city.

At that point, it was time for me to switch from tour guide to chef. So we dropped them off at their hotel, swung by Philz to get coffee (I had to ask the barista which of their coffees was most similar to weak Folgers, which is not a request they get every day, but I think my mom liked their coffee better than Starbucks, so I suppose it was a success). Then we came home, and my parents hung out on the roof while I cooked. To be fair, my mom cut up all the strawberries (v. meticulously - it's clear where I get my perfectionist OCD tendencies). But I took my usual tack of making way too much food in way too many varieties -- really, it probably wasn't necessary to make steak, chicken, fish, fajita veggies, and tomato/potato/chard. But between my perfectionist tendencies and my friends' many and varied preferences and restrictions, this seemed like the best course of action.

Eventually, the party began - I had a bunch of my old friends over to meet my parents and Vova, and theoretically to talk to Daniel about US schools, although that didn't happen at all. Lauren and Nathan were the first to arrive (well, Terry was the first to arrive, but that shouldn't surprise you), and then Katrina showed up, followed up Adit and Priyanka and John and Jess. The Ukrainians also arrived relatively late, but they were just on time since the cheese and other appetizers were mostly gone but the real food was basically ready.

So we all sat around for a couple of hours telling stories, which provided some of the best laughs I've had in a v. long time. The ratio of ducks to hammer handles alone was a v. useful fact to learn. We also learned a lot about how to bribe (or not bribe) cops in Ukraine twenty years ago vs. now, the mating habits of small and large dogs (and people), the fact that Adit and I have nothing in common other than that we like to work, and other similarly important facts. My friends all disappeared by 10:30, but Vova, Daniel, and my parents stuck around for another hour talking. And then I packed them all into an Uber and sent them off into the night.

And now, I really really must sleep - I have some work to do in the morning, and then I need to take my parents to the airport before doing more work in the afternoon. Goodnight!

if you're ready come and get it

The first half of my day was incredibly annoying, mostly due to an eight a.m. meeting that no one showed up for but me. But the rest of the day slowly picked up steam, and by five p.m. I was getting some serious work done. Of course, by then it was time to quit and see my parents. So I threw in the towel, picked them up at their hotel, and took them around the city before deciding to eat supper at Chow (in my old neighborhood). We had a lovely meal, and just as we were finishing, our friend Vova (a Ukrainian) called to say that he had arrived in SF approximately an hour and a half before we had expected him. So we finished dinner, drove over to his hotel, and had another dinner with him, his son, and his friend Oleg. This resulted in a lot of talk about Ukraine, as you might expect, and about municipal water projects, which you might not expect.

And now, I'm wrecked and need to go to bed so that I can take tomorrow off to play tour guide. Goodnight!

it's still rock and roll to me

Today was lovely, but I'm v. much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. I woke up around 7:45 (late for when I told my parents I'd meet them, but early for my willpower) and was out the door of the hotel by 8:30 so that we could have breakfast before our first excursion of the day. We spent the morning at the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens, which were truly awesome -- I'm not a gardener by any means, but the flowers and plants and trees they had there were really breathtaking.

After that, it was time to say goodbye to Fort Bragg (and Fort Bragg's fog) and head back to the evil city. We were v. leisurely about the whole thing, since we stopped multiple times (including at the most amazingly adorable coffee shop in Cloverdale), but we made it back by ~5pm. I dropped the parents off at their hotel, came home, parked my car, changed clothes (only because I spilled toothpaste on my dress), and collected Terry so that we could walk back over to the parents' hotel and have dinner with them. We ended up at Aix, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite places, and which was conveniently located a block from their hotel. While there, I had two glasses of wine to make up for the fact that we did no wine tasting in Mendocino, and we generally had a delightful time.

And now, I must go to sleep; I am working tomorrow (shocking and unprecedented, I know), and I need to get up early if I'm going to get everything done that I need to finish. Goodnight!

every second of the night i live another life

I had a v. wonderful day, but I'm now v. sleepy and would have gone to bed two hours ago if it had been ten p.m. instead of eight p.m. then. Instead, I forced myself to stay up, which was probably stupid since I wasn't productive at all and should have at least read a book instead of messing around on the internet while ignoring everything else I should be doing.

But the day was totally worth the exhaustion. I slept for almost ten hours last night, which means I kept my parents waiting even though I was ready to go at the totally civilized hour of 9:15. We had breakfast, then went to our first disappointment of the day: Sea Glass Beach, where there was absolutely no sea glass in evidence. It was also foggy and only fifty-five degrees, which my parents found a bit barbaric. But then the day began to look up. We went inland a few miles, where it was sunny and seventy-five, and walked around in a v. deserted redwood grove -- the sound of the trees was amazing, and something I'm v. unaccustomed to in the lives I live (part city, part open countryside).

Then we came back to the coast, descended into the fog, and walked out to Point Cabrillo lighthouse. It's one of the last six lighthouses remaining in California, and while the lighthouse itself was small, the walk out to it (on the nature-type pathway rather than the sidewalk/road we could have used if we'd known about it) was totally gorgeous. They've also restored the lighthouse keepers' houses -- you can rent a couple of them as vacation rentals, but one is a little museum with period furnishings, and I really enjoyed that (including a lighthouse keeper's version of a child's rocking horse: instead of a rocking horse, they had a rocking dolphin, which I will post a picture of once I upload my photos).

Post lighthouse, we went to a beach north of town, where we had been promised the opportunity to see lots of interesting sea creatures in the tidal pools left behind at low tide, but I think I saw one tiny crab and a bunch of sea lettuce. It's clear that some of the locals are overstating the glamour of their beaches. But with the fog and mist and pounding surf, it was still a gorgeous sight to behold. Then we went to a glass blower's shop, where I procured my souvenir for the trip; rather than getting a Starbucks mug, I returned to my preferred type of souvenir and bought something glass instead. In this case, it was a gorgeous paperweight with a purple jellyfish inside. Yes, collecting glass is a stupid endeavor for someone who lives in a major earthquake zone -- but perhaps I believe I will move away before the big one hits. Or perhaps I will be okay with everything I own being destroyed so that I can start over. The second idea is rather doubtful, but in any event, the paperweight is totally cool and will look great on my desk.

After that, we were hungry (since we were living like peasants on two meals a day), so we had a relatively early dinner at a place overlooking the harbor. The food was excellent, and my fish tacos were exactly what I was looking for. The glass of wine was also what I was looking for, and I think all three of us were delighted that this place lived up to the recommendation from our hotel dude (the same guy who suggested Sea Glass Beach and the tidal pools, so we had come to fear him). Then we came back to the hotel, parted ways, and you know the rest of my procrastinatory laziness.

And now, I must sleep. We are leaving tomorrow to drive back to San Francisco, and I have to stay awake for that + hang out when I get home + hopefully write something + do some day job stuff in anticipation for Monday. Goodnight!

all that's left to do is run

Today was totally lovely, but it involved a lot more driving than I bargained for. That was my own fault for taking the scenic route, and it was totally worth it, but I'm definitely more exhausted than I had expected to be. The parents and I had a v. leisurely morning; we ended up going out for breakfast around 10:30 or 11, and I introduced them to my favorite waitress at the cafe down the street, so that was fun. Then we went back to my place, packed up, and were out the door around 1:30. And I thought it would take us three hours to get to Mendocino...which turned out to be a wildly overoptimistic prediction.

Again, that was my fault; rather than taking 101 all the way up, I decided to cut across to the coast via Russian River, and then drive up Highway 1. That was way more breathtaking, but also way slower, since a lot of it was v. windy and so I could only go twenty miles an hour or so. Also, I was driving slower than I usually would to avoid getting anyone (including me) carsick. Also, my mother is even more deathly afraid of heights than I am, and so some of the cliffs were about enough to put her over the edge (figuratively, luckily; my driving wasn't actually going to kill her). Also, I came within a couple of miles of running out of gas at the end of the trip, and had to pay an extortionate $6.25/gal at the first gas station I saw for forty miles - but at least I didn't actually run out of gas, or my mother might have killed me.

However, despite all that, it was really totally lovely. The views of the ocean were consistently gorgeous, and the redwoods and forests and pastures were cool. We also saw a bobcat, which was awesome. And we had an early supper at a restaurant overlooking the water, which made me happy.

And now, even though it's only ten o'clock, I must go to bed - I'm either going to wake up early to have breakfast with my parents, or wake up even earlier to write before breakfast, so sleep is a necessity. Goodnight!

you'd still enjoy it with your foot on masada

Work again kicked my ass today, but I had the last laugh, since I abandoned it to take tomorrow off. Of course, it will probably have the last laugh when I feel the need to sneak in a few emails and tings over the weekend, but I'm going to try not to stress about stuff during my weekend away. And the weekend is much needed, after an endless series of meetings (I had fifteen minutes to grab a salad, which I ate in a v. annoyed manner during my next meeting), and after my commute home took two hours. These are the days when I hate the city.

But the weekend should be good -- my parents got in safely (and on time, although an 11:35pm arrival still feels late), and they're now ensconced in my bed while I've been booted to the shadows. So I suppose I should sleep, since they'll probably wake up at some ridiculously early hour and be starving for breakfast before I'm ready to drag myself out of bed. But hopefully we can have a leisurely breakfast in the neighborhood before heading north for the weekend...and hopefully they are not turned off by the Marina in its Friday breakfast glory. Which is obviously not Sunday breakfast glory, which is usually a shitshow.

Okay, I'm rambling, which means it's time for bed!

no sugar tonight

I'm too tired to blog...zee day job is kicking my ass this week, which is rather unfortunate since my parents are coming into town tomorrow and my book is due to my editor in twenty-six days. Luckily, I've stayed pretty good at compartmentalizing since going back to work, so whatever isn't done by the time my parents land won't get done until next week. Unluckily for my boss, the list of undone things is likely to be quite extensive, since I have meetings straight from ten a.m. to four p.m., then another from five to six, with a fifteen minute break for lunch. Woe is me, indeed.

But today was good, despite being in meetings almost straight since 8:30 a.m., and despite being ready to murder anyone and everyone who talked to me after five p.m. (since I had intended to leave at four and write for a couple of hours, but got bogged down in some other stuff). I didn't leave the office until six, unfortunately, and then I had another quasi-work activity, since I had dinner with a woman who was visiting from the NYC office. So that was from 6:30 to 9, and while it was totally worthwhile, it left me with no time to catch up on my own stuff. So I drove home, straightened up the kitchen and my room in preparation for the cleaners coming tomorrow (yes I'm turning into my mother), and now must go to bed before I die. Goodnight!