i'll be there when the light comes in, tell 'em we're survivors

I had such a better day today. This was mostly because my tongue was suddenly better - it still hurts just a little bit, and talking still exacerbates it slightly, but it's way better than it was over the weekend. Also, I meditated this morning before starting to work, which seemed to help as well. Work was a bit of a slog, because I had to put together a fast and dirty presentation on something for a new VP, but the presentation went well - so at least that was satisfying.

Then, I stopped working at five and called in a takeout order to my favorite Mexican restaurant down the street so that I could celebrate being able to eat solid foods again. [censored] saw a photo of my chips and guac and said that it was bold for me to choose "salty knives" as my first solid, which was probably true, but #noregrets. Better, the restaurants in Denver are doing takeout cocktails, so I got a perfect margarita to go in what should have been a container for soup. I poured this straight into my own yeti, came home, decontaminated, and then enjoyed my chips and guac and margarita while sitting outside on my patio. Warm days are still likely to turn into snow almost instantaneously, so I thought I should take advantage of being outdoors while I could.

Then I spent the evening messing around online, talking to [censored], filling out the census, and rereading half of one of my old books for inspiration. And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

there's a world outside every darkened door where blues won't haunt you anymore

My tongue is definitely better today - I skipped my seven o'clock dose of ibuprofen and was able to eat without it, so I'd say that's good news. I think I may have had a stitch come out while I was talking to my boss, which was a v. uncomfortable feeling - but after that things seemed to be better. So, I don't know. It's still not perfect, and I ate yet another box of mac and cheese for dinner because I didn't feel like I should go straight into real solids, but it's better than it has been.

That was the only real excitement of the day. I slogged for most of it, then stopped a little before five and took a walk. Then I talked to Terry for awhile while making my macaroni. And I should have spent the evening working, or watching TV, but instead I read several cookbooks and made a list of things I want to try to make (no doubt influenced because this is my sixth full day of eating a rotating diet of smoothies, milkshakes, mac and cheese, lukewarm scrambled eggs, and potato soup). Now, though, it's time for bed - goodnight!

one way or another i'm just hoping to find a way to put my feet out in the world

Tongue still hurts. It's marginally better than yesterday, which was marginally better than the day before, so I think it's getting there - but it still hurts to talk, and it hurts to eat, so I'm still in a somewhat foul mood over the whole thing.

However, today was better than yesterday, so I'll take it. I did some hardcore journaling this morning to reflect on the plague and get some sort of grip on how I'm feeling, which was good. I also ate a smoothie v. slowly, showered, talked to [censored], made some scrambled eggs, and let the scrambled eggs cool off while I took care of laundry and other tings. I have never made scrambled eggs with the intent of letting them cool off before eating them, but there's a first time for everything.

Eventually, I ventured out of the house and into a store for the first time since Wednesday - I'd had several lightbulbs burn out in the last month or so, and I finally decided that I should get lightbulbs before even those are considered nonessential. I'd ordered them last night from Lowes, so it was as low-risk as it could have been - I walked in, the order pickup counter was right there, and so I grabbed the bag and only had to touch my license (to verify my identity) and the pen used to sign the receipt. I was wearing gloves for this, since I found a pack of nitrile gloves in my disaster prepper stuff downstairs - I'm upping my social distancing game even beyond soap and water (and wetwipes in my car) since I really don't want to catch coronavirus on top of my tongue right now. If I happen to sneeze due to allergies right now, my tongue hurts - getting anything worse would cause complete misery even if it didn't kill me.

sssanyway. I spent the evening doing laundry, eating (slowly) potato soup, doing some administrative stuff, reading a bit too much twitter, and journaling a bit more. And now I'm going to go to bed early and attempt to get tomorrow off to a good start - goodnight!

doesn't seem to be enough

I had an incredibly lazy day, even by quarantine standards. This was mostly driven by my tongue (a phrase I never thought I would type) - I didn't really feel like doing anything, and am also having trouble eating, so expending energy didn't seem to be a good idea. Instead, I slept for ten hours, then ate a milkshake for breakfast for perhaps the first time ever. Then I made a box of mac and cheese and let it cool off while I took a shower. Eating anything takes an absurd amount of time, so I slowly ate my mac and cheese while reading twitter. Then, since that was a lot of effort, I took a quick nap.

My only social activity of the day came when I talked to Jen, Joann, and Jane (the friendship renewal crew), which was lovely. But I realized that not talking is probably the single best thing I can do to help my tongue heal, so I eschewed all other social activities and refused to talk to anyone else. I ate some leftover potato soup for dinner (slowly), read some more twitter, did some journaling, etc.

And really, that's as much as I can stretch this to anything approaching interesting for you - and so I think it's time for bed. Goodnight!

i hope i get the chance to travel the world but i don't have any plans

Today was not great - it's hard to eat enough when my tongue hurts, and I'm taking maximum doses of ibuprofen, so I woke up with a stomach ache. So I canceled as many meetings as I feasibly could, which helped, but I talked for three hours straight this afternoon, which definitely didn't help. When I'm not talking and just sitting still it doesn't hurt too much, but talking makes it worse and eating is definitely unpleasant.

sssanyway. I made potato soup for supper and pureed the whole thing, and I let it cool down, and it was almost edible (it tasted really good, but I had to go slow). And I talked to Chandlord and Riturani (and Riturani's husband, mother, and child). Anika (the baby) and I ate our soups together, although hers was miso and she wasn't wearing anything below the waist, and I was just a bit more clothed (although I guess it's hard to tell on videoconference). And the conversation was a delightful way to catch up, although it would be even better if we were all in the same city and not under lockdown and able to eat dinner together.

Then I cleaned up my kitchen and read some twitter and watched the first episode of this season of Top Chef - it's all-stars, which means I'm familiar with a bunch of the chefs, and I was pretty bummed about who got sent home in the first episode. But the food looked amazing and I always enjoy watching Top Chef, so maybe this season I'll watch mostly in real time and stay caught up. A girl can dream (and a girl doesn't have anything better to do anyway).

And now it's time for bed - I'm not going to set my alarm and am just going to see how much sleep I can get. Goodnight!

i've not seen the roaring fields in so long

I had a not so pleasant day in stay-at-home land, mostly because my tongue really hurts, which means that I can't really eat and also can't really stand to talk for long periods of time. I attempted some self-care and canceled some meetings today so that I could take breaks in between them, which helped. I also got nine hours of sleep, and I'm going to attempt to complete that feat again tonight. And I took a walk in the afternoon - I think I should try to get out for a walk any day when the sun is shining, since you never know when it will snow here (and since I'm only 2.5wks into what will likely be a 6-8 week period of isolation, which is a thought that I usually try to avoid).

sssanyway. My tongue makes eating anything solid pretty difficult, so I busted out the blender at lunch and made a peanut butter and banana smoothie with protein powder. It was tasty, but even that hurt a little bit. So I've been taking a toxic amount of ibuprofen and hoping for the best. This afternoon I managed some cottage cheese, and then I ate a box of gluten free mac and cheese for dinner - it's not my favorite, but it was soft enough that I could eat it (v. slowly) and not hurt myself. Hopefully the tongue heals soon so I can get back to making delicious quarantine delights.

And now, after a v. boring day, I'm going to do a bit of cross stitch and go to bed - goodnight!

i'm begging of you please don't take my man

I've got to say, if you're going to try to jazz up your stay-at-home orders, don't do it by getting a tongue biopsy. I had a small spot on the side of my tongue that is probably nothing, but my dentist thought I should get it checked just in case. I naively assumed this meant the oral surgeon would just scrape it off. Instead, he dug a hole in the side of my tongue and then stitched it up, which was a really unwelcome development. The tongue, as it turns out, is not a fun place for a biopsy - not fun while a tech grabs your tongue and holds it out so that the surgeon can do his business, and not fun in the aftermath when the local anaesthetic wears off and all the pain shows up.

sssanyway. I've gotta wait a couple of weeks for the results, and it will take a week or so to heal, which is rather unfortunate timing. My stay-at-home meal plan mostly involved soup and other hot things, and now all I want are cold things. So I stopped at the grocery store after the procedure - I thought I was stocked up, but I had to go in and pick up frozen fruits (which are luckily back around) for smoothies, and some ice cream, and some garbanzo beans that I finally opportunistically found at the right time. The grocery store was taking social distancing seriously, which felt like a bizarre and fear-inducing experience (fear-inducing only because of how quickly the grocery store reconfigured itself to keep people apart). But I got what I needed, came home, and stopped at Dairy Queen on the way to get a blizzard, which went a long way toward making me feel better.

Then, unfortunately, I had a four-hour meeting and was probably not at my best because my tongue hurt. Then I spent the evening relaxing and refusing to do any work, and then I had a family dinner hangout with Chandlord, Adit, Claude/Sam, John/Jess, and Zach and Maggie. I haven't talked to Zach and Maggie for ages, so it was great to hear their updates (even if talking to doctors right now is not particularly comforting). And now, after a couple of hours of excellent family time, it's time for bed - goodnight!

give in to that easy living, goodbye to my hopes and dreams

I had a v long, v productive day with quite a bit of (virtual) socializing at the end of it. I woke up and journaled for a few minutes, but I then started working around eight, and worked pretty much straight through until six. I did take a break to walk around outside for twenty minutes, which definitely helped my mood. And, as soon as I was done, I poured a glass of wine and talked to Caroline (a coworker who is also a friend) for almost two hours. We had a v. nice conversation and also a v. nice realization that, while it would have been better to see each other in person, this model is also great because we can drink as much as we want and not have to worry about driving or staying over at each other's houses.

Then I ate the takeout I'd ordered - some excellent restaurants are coming online for delivery, and I want to do my part to help them stay alive in these awful times, so I ordered a steak and garlicky fries from Cuba Cuba. I haven't had fries in well over two weeks, so they were particularly delicious, and I saved half the steak + the plantains I'd ordered so that I have something tasty to eat tomorrow as well. And then I had a 9pm call about some work stuff, which was really not appreciated.

Then I closed my work laptop and spent an hour and a half chatting with Irish Matt. If there is any silver lining to the apocalypse, it's that people are generally socializing with the people who matter to them rather than the people who are physically close to them, and so I'm talking more regularly to v. important friends, which feels really lovely. Of course, it doesn't feel lovely that we're on the verge of mass death and that we seem to be handling this worse than just about any country in the world, and I would also prefer to discuss these things over cocktails at a bar....but I am really enjoying talking to more friends more regularly.

And now, it's time for bed. The only link I'll give you is this crown from almost four thousand years ago (12th dynasty, middle kingdom, Egypt). It was worn an incomprehensibly long time ago, and yet it feels fresh and modern...which is a good reminder that life, uh, finds a way, and humans will get through this as well. Goodnight!

once the show gets started it's bound to be a sight to see

I was fairly bored / unable to focus most of the day, which was unfortunate since I had a lot to focus on. I did get up in time to journal this morning before work, which was lovely. And I also showered, which was equally lovely. This should not be noteworthy, but I had not showered yesterday, so I have to be careful not to let myself go too much.

Then I worked all day, but I stopped around five so that I could run out and pick up a TV that I'd bought at Best Buy. Denver is going on lockdown starting tomorrow, and I decided that I should turn my basement into a better space in which to work out so that I can perfect my prison body in the next few months. The basement is actually pretty bright (thanks to [censored] changing all my lightbulbs when he was here, as well as the two egress windows) and I have plenty of space for kettlebells, my TRX bands, etc. - but a TV would enable me to watch workouts. So I got a cheap, small flatscreen, and we'll see whether this helps me deal with the isolation or if it just gives me another thing to be crazy about.

While I was picking up the tv, I stopped at Katie's and gave her half the banana bread I baked last night. We social distanced by sitting on opposite sides of her porch for ten minutes; James joined us for a few minutes as well, so we caught up on doom and gloom while rainclouds gathered overhead (both literally and metaphorically). We're all being good quarantine soldiers, which meant we didn't hug and I didn't partake of any beverages on the property; with Denver's new stay-at-home order, it's unclear whether we'll see each other anytime soon, but we'll see whether the weather cooperates enough for us to socializing distance from opposite sides of porches and patios.

Then I came home and caught up with Lauren (aka Subz) and Terry via video, which was delightful. And then I ate supper, messed around online, took a nine p.m. work call (which I now have every day for the foreseeable future, which is kinda cruel) and am now getting ready for bed.

And sadly, no links for you tonight - I didn't spend much time online, so I have no joy to spread. Goodnight!

you got something to prove, you got nothing to lose

I had a pretty good day of quarantining, all in all. When I woke up, I only spent a little bit of time catching up on the dumpster fire of news before I logged off my phone and spent some quality time with my journal. Then I did some cross-stitch because time is meaningless and I might as well. Then I had a facetime date with Barbara (Colorado Barbara, not California Barbara). It was great, as usual, to talk to another writer, even if it's particularly sad that we can't see each other in person given that we only live an hour away from each other.

Then I ate lunch (salmon on a gluten free bagel) and finished reorganizing my basement storage to better accommodate my hoarding tendencies. And then I went on a long walk around the neighborhood while attempting to avoid getting within six feet of anyone else. While I was walking, I talked to my parents - it's their fortieth anniversary today (happy anniversary!), and I should have been in Iowa to celebrate with them. Instead, they celebrated alone while it snowed outside, so that's a bummer. But all the drawings of coronavirus make it look red, and the fortieth anniversary is ruby, so I guess it's on brand? #toosoon

After I talked to my parents, I came inside and made chili for supper, and then also attempted gluten free banana bread (it's cooling and I have no idea if it's any good yet). And I took care of some personal business stuff. And now I'm going to take a shower, and then potentially engage in one last online activity tonight, since (again) time is meaningless.

Finally, here's your link roundup for the day:

- this guy knows how to party with his pet hamster

- Italian mayors are not messing around

- meanwhile, Spanish cops are definitely messing around and it's great

Goodnight!

and somewhere in the darkness the gambler he broke even

Today was a particularly lazy day and I think I had a hangover at eight p.m., so I'm going to have to make some changes for tomorrow. That's not to say it was a bad day, exactly....but my phone says I spent seven hours on it (40min actually talking on the phone, 6hr20min scrolling aimlessly), which is perhaps my new worst record ever.

I did manage to get a couple of things done. I cleaned up my kitchen, washed my bedsheets, did some laundry, and made some v. tasty french toast for brunch. I also spent some quality time down in the basement to put some order around my stockpiles - I'm not done yet, but I have a better sense of how I need to organize things than I did before.

But I gave up on productivity around two. First I talked to my dad briefly, which was good - I should have been home this weekend for their anniversary, and we should have had dinner at a Brazilian steakhouse tonight, but I guess survival is more important (and the restaurants in Iowa are closed anyway). Then I talked to Terry for awhile - she was supposed to get married today, and that was called off as well (because of coronavirus, obvi). While talking to her, I drank a whole goblet of rosé - I got out one of my fancy Waterford crystal wine glasses that I never think to use for myself, and I quite enjoyed drinking out of it while having a virtual happy hour.

After I talked to Terry, I had a snack, took a nap, poured another goblet of wine, and talked to Joann, Jen, and Jane (my friendship renewal crew). Everyone is taking this social distancing thing pretty seriously, so we're all going a little stir crazy. That group is all supposed to come and see me in May, but we'll see if May is a month in which we're allowed to leave the house....

Then, I talked to Claudia (aka Santy Claude) for a little bit, since she'd called while I was talking to J/J/J. I also ate leftover chicken chile verde, then went deep on twitter, and then pulled myself out and started a cross stitch project (yeah, I don't know, things are getting weird).

And now I shall leave you with some recommendations of the best things I saw / read / learned today:

- the Muppets / Kenny Rogers music video for 'The Gambler' is incredibly weird and worth watching. RIP Kenny.

- this Melbourne zoo employee dancing for the livestream camera is mildly entertaining

- I learned how a bat pees

- a long but interesting article on when the Romanovs visited their British cousins (King Edward VII and his family) in 1909 [note: this is probably not interesting to anyone but me]

Stay inside and goodnight!

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

I already took a nap this afternoon and fell asleep on the couch tonight, so it's time for bed. Today was about as good as it could have been - I worked, stopped early, had a virtual happy hour with Sara (a coworker, not myself), and then a video chat with Barbara, Anne, and Grace. Then I got some sushi delivered - I have food in the fridge, but I wanted something other than chicken and I also felt like supporting a restaurant was probably good. And then I talked to [censored] for a couple of hours.

And now, I need to sleep and figure out how to amuse myself tomorrow - goodnight!

cut me out from the cold, this young heart is getting old

Today felt less like a quarantine day and more like a snow day - we got several inches of snow, which means I would have worked from home today even during normal circumstances. Of course, these are not normal circumstances. It's interesting to see how people are reacting / structuring their days / handling the various stressors around them. Some people are going through serious trauma (like a coworker whose dad has terminal leukemia and she can't really visit with him in person), or serious other challenges (like the people stuck at home with three year olds who can't be reasoned with about why they can't go to the park). And then there are people like me who are really pretty lucky and well-set-up, all in all, but still can't shake the underlying sense of dread that permeates most of the day.

sssanyway. Work was fine. I stopped a little before six and made chicken chile verde in my instant pot, which turned out so well - I really love to make it, and tonight was a good time to do it. I also took out the trash, tidied up, did some laundry, and journaled - so again, it all felt almost like normal.

We'll see how tomorrow feels - for now I need to sleep. Goodnight!

don't fall on your sword, just follow your instinct

I'm so tired. It's my own fault - I should have gone to bed at ten, but instead I worked for the last couple of hours. That was after having meetings straight from 9-4...but I took a walk for 25min, which was a great break. It was 67 degrees and sunny this afternoon, but we're sliding into a winter storm warning tonight, so I decided to prioritize sun and social distancing while I could.

I took a break a little before five to make a margarita and have a virtual happy hour with Tomas. It was a nice way to end the day - we didn't really talk about work, just the end of the world. Then, I broke quarantine and went to Katie's - I'm pretty convinced that Denver will be ordered to shelter in place in the next couple of days, so I thought I should see her while I had the chance (which probably defeats the point of social isolation, but I've been pretty isolated the last twelve days or so). She and James made dinner and spared some of their precious food supply with me, which was a real sacrifice (and, btw, dinner was delicious - a chickpea dish that I wish I could recreate, but I have not been able to find chickpeas anywhere). We also talked about the end of the world, which is a v. natural topic of conversation right now, and I tried not to touch anything but probably failed.

Then I came home, with a couple of stops to indulge my inner panic. I didn't stock up crazy - I was looking for chickpeas and dishwasher soap, and the first two places didn't have any of either, so I was forced to get dishwasher soap at CVS. But I bought some garlic, which I was almost out of, and a couple of other tings, and then I got some nail polish at CVS, so I think I'm pretty set.

When I got home, I tidied up, prepped my coffee for tomorrow, and did some work. And now I must sleep - goodnight!

scheming on a thing that's a mirage

Okay those of you who are not part of techie corporate culture should know: 'WFH' stands for 'work from home', and it our terminology for teleworking or remote working or whatever. Expect to see a lot more slippages and mentions of wfh because that's literally my life now.

sssanyway. Today was wfh day 7 (11 if you count the four weekend days since I last stepped foot in the office). The days are already blurring together, and I kept being sure it was Wednesday. Also, there was a v. sad moment around five p.m. when someone wished us Happy St. Patrick's Day and we all seemed forlorn.

My mood was probably impacted because I only got six hours of sleep and awoke immediately racing forward to what I needed to do next. That thing I had to do was finish my calibration notes for our performance review cycle, which turned out to be a completely unnecessary task because of some information that came to light later in the day. Gross. And I slogged through the whole day until 5ish with very few breaks, which made me cranky.

So I escaped the house, partially because I'm pretty sure that everything here is going to shut down soon. I first went to Joann Fabrics, where I picked up an online order that I placed yesterday - minimal contamination risk, maximum method of ensuring I have a project to work on (getting back into cross stitch like the baller fourteen-year-old I used to be). Then I went to the liquor store and got dark rum and orgeat (almond syrup) so that I can make mai tais if the mood strikes (I never drink cocktails at home, but apparently the apocalypse is making me rethink my priorities). Then I came home, ate some leftover soup, talked to Chris (who's on my team but currently in Singapore, which has all sorts of implications), did some work, talked to Katrina (social isolation means you can have video chats with anyone, anywhere, and everyone is basically free), and am now going to sleep and hope I get eight relatively stress-free hours before I do it all again.

And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

baby baby baby, light my way

Everything continues to go to hell, but if I didn't know that, today would have just felt like a regular work from home kind of day. I worked from 9ish to 6ish, with a quick break to heat up some leftover soup from last night. I also spent a bit of time working while sitting on my patio; I was under a blanket because it was totally frigid, and I had to go in as a result, but at least I got some fresh air. Work was a bit of a chaos machine today because of everything that's going on globally, which is why I'm writing this at almost midnight (I worked for the last couple of hours).

But I broke quarantine, picked up a couple of pizzas at Blue Pan, and went over to Kelly's. We sat three feet apart, which probably wasn't enough, and ate pizza and drank wine and tried to pretend that everything is normal. I would probably bet that Denver goes into the same lockdown that SF just went into within the next week (my bet is actually five days or less) - the mayor announced today that all restaurants are closed (with the exception of takeout/delivery) until May, and there are a ton of cases emerging in the mountains, so things are getting real here.

sssanyway. It was good to see Kelly, and hopefully I can squeeze in a visit to Katie before we all get locked in our homes. Then I came home, talked to my parents, talked to Katie, and worked for too many hours. And now I really need to sleep - goodnight!

i can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord

It's becoming normal to talk to no one and do nothing of interest. You might think that this was normal two years ago, given my blog - but I'm convinced that this hermiting is different than my usual hermiting. For one, when I bail on social plans in other contexts, I don't obsessively wash my hands - so clearly this is different!

Today's social distancing was slightly higher risk - I decided to run a couple of errands. I think I maintained sufficient distance from other people, but we'll see whether I die as a result. I finally succumbed to the panic hoarder in my subconscious who was whispering that I don't have enough alcohol - this is patently false, but I was down to my last two bottles of my favorite wine, so of course I had to rectify that. I went to Molly's for the first time - it's very similar to Hazel's in Boulder, but it's seven minutes from my house instead of thirty-seven, so that was a good discovery. They had my favorite wine in stock, so I bought seven bottles; I also grabbed a couple of other bottles opportunistically, grabbed another bottle of tequila just in case (just in case I start doing shots alone? idk?), and also bought gin because I didn't have any gin and of course the coronavirus is going to make me crave gin and tonics. My inner panic hoarder is really wreaking havoc on my bank account.

Then I stopped at the atm and got cash (see: inner panic hoarder turning on the turn signal when she saw a bank), and then I went to Echter's nursery to buy some new plant friends. Social distancing was easy here since there weren't many people and almost everyone was looking at each other v. suspiciously. I was clearly leaning deep into "find comfort in beauty" - I bought an African violet (because I'm turning into my mom), and I also bought a bromeliad just to add some color. Echter's has a really nice greenhouse, and I could have stayed there forever.

But instead, I grabbed a couple of things at King Sooper (mostly some kitchen spray that I'd missed getting before, as well as some Tostitos and salsa con queso for my innter stressed-out sixteen-year-old - otherwise I feel pretty prepped). Then I came home, straightened things up, organized my plans, took a v. brief nap, and took a shower. Then I talked to [censored], who was in fine form. And then I spent some quality time making chicken and wild rice soup + chopping up celery for future uses. The soup turned out perfectly, so at least there's that. And then I did some day job work, and now I'm done.

Wash your hands and stay home, everyone! Goodnight!

all alone in space and time, there's nothing here but what here's mine

I had a v. hermity day at the end of the world. I did, however, still manage to shower and put on pants, so I think I'm #winning. Of course, they were comfy joggers rather than actual pants, but I'm going to count them.

I spent most of the day doing stuff around the kitchen - first up, of course, was setting up my new coffeemaker, which is identical to my old coffeemaker, which is nice since now I have an extra carafe. I also chopped up a ton of veggies - I bought fresh produce last week and knew I couldn't cook all of it before it went bad, so I made a whole bunch of different packets of stuff for future soups and instant pot meals. So now my freezer has the ingredients for four batches of chili, two batches of palak paneer, a couple of packets of peppers for stirfrys, and some of the ingredients for chicken tortilla soup. I still need to chop up some carrots and celery, and I want to make chicken and wild rice soup and also chicken chile verde with the rest of the veggies in my fridge over the next few days, but I'm feeling pretty well stocked.

I did take a break to sit on my patio even thought it was somewhere around 46 degrees; one of my awesome outdoor blankets made it almost bearable, but I talked to my mom while I did it, and eventually my phone-holding hand got too cold to stay out there. So I came back in to wrap up the conversation. And then I spent some quality time reorganizing my pantry - you can tell that isolation and low-level brooding over pandemics is yielding some weird results, since I would rarely choose to spend my Saturday night organizing my pantry. And then I binged six episodes of Schitt's Creek, which I've heard good things about but never watched - this is another sign that weirdness is simmering, since I never binge watch tv.

But I drank two moscow mules while doing that, so at least I had that going for me - I'm making cocktails until my limes run out, then switching to wine, so I think I'm prepped for awhile. And then I did some day job work for the last hour, since days and hours are meaningless now. And now I'm going to go to bed and see what mysteries tomorrow holds - goodnight!

kill the headlights and put it in neutral

It's day five of working from home (officially day three, but I worked from home Monday and Tuesday, before the office closure was announced). I may be going slowly insane. I haven't seen a person I know since Katie and I had dinner at El Five on Monday, which was a lifetime and many germs ago. My fridge is now utterly full of food, and I could easily survive for a month (maybe two, although I'll run out of cream for my coffee at some point), but I still feel some vague unease that I haven't prepped enough.

sssanyway. I worked all day, mostly meetings. I also took a break to watch some of Trump's speech, which was a) in retrospect sad/hilarious because apparently he completely exaggerated/lied about the website my company was supposedly working on and b) probably a good way to watch a bunch of older men pass coronavirus to each other, since Trump seemed to purposefully insist on shaking almost everyone's hand (the later CEOs seemed to realize what was happening and dodge contact). Then I sloughed off early to run to the mall and pick up a new coffeemaker. When I picked it up, I gave my name, and the woman asked if my mom's name was Jean....to which I replied "yes!", but it turns out her old coworker was a different Jean, with a different daughter named Sara, both of whom have my last name. Super weird, so clearly there is a glitch in the matrix at the moment.

I also bought some more comfy pants at Athleta, since I'm stranded here forever, and I was already out and risking coronavirus anyway. Then I went to Whole Foods and got a couple more tings, mostly produce, but also some hamburger. They were completely and utterly sold out of eggs, so I felt vindicated that I went out and panic bought eggs on Wednesday. They were also completely cleared out of all frozen fruits and vegetables, all pastas and beans and lentils (except some of the weirdest beans), all limes (not necessary, but I would have grabbed a few if they were there), all peppers except jalapenos (but they had tomatillos, so I'm making chile verde this week), and all garlic. That said, my previous prepping was clearly spot-on, since the things they were out of were things I'd already stocked up on.

Then I came home, put away my stash, ate some leftover pasta, and watched the India episode of 'Ugly Delicious' with Padma Lakshmi and Aziz Ansari. I follow Padma on Instagram bc I love her on Top Chef (and my friend Roopa performs carnatic music for her on the regular), and I'd seen that she was on the show, so I thought it might be a good way to spend a Friday night of social isolation. All it did was make me miss India. But then, I would miss any kind of travel to anywhere, with anyone, at this point, so maybe that's not fair. But it was an excellent episode, and I loved it. Then I went back and started with the first episode of the first season and it was super boring by comparison; it seems to be a show that has found its legs later on.

Now, though, I should sleep - not that I have any plans tomorrow, but I will find a variety of tings around the house to entertain me. Goodnight!

when i asked you how you did it you just say it was nothing at all

Today was fine, all in all, but it ended rather unfortunately because I discovered that my coffeemaker is leaking everywhere. I can survive coronavirus, but I can't if I don't have coffee. It's clear that it leaked this morning as well, in retrospect; a brown bag of onions on my counter was wet on the bottom this morning, and I thought that one of them had rotted through it, but now I realize the coffeemaker had leaked. So, I'm going to break my self-imposed isolation and run to the mall to pick up a new one (which I already bought and paid for online) - I don't want to wait for an Amazon delivery, and Williams Sonoma had sent me a coupon + is not too deep into the bowels of the mall, so I'm going to risk it.

sssanyway. The rest of my day was fine, and I took a walk at the end of it to get out of the house, so that was all fine. I also made some pasta made with chickpea flour (which was really excellent) and tossed it with the bolognese sauce that I'd labored over yesterday, and it was to die for. And I attempted to perfect my margarita skills and may have gotten it right this time (3 parts tequila, 2 parts cointreau, 2 parts lime juice, splash of simple syrup).

But now, I need to sleep so I can get some tings done tomorrow before ending the day at the mall - goodnight!

now no one's knocked upon my door for a thousand years or more

A month of working from home is a rather daunting prospect. I think it was absolutely the right thing to do - reading what's happening in Italy is truly alarming, and if we don't start taking much more concerted, aggressive action to slow the spread, the hospital system will be completely overwhelmed in the next couple of weeks. But I'm enough of an extrovert that the idea of being home for a month by myself is rather upsetting, even if I'm still getting my usual 8+ hours a day of meetings over videoconference.

sssanyway. I slogged all day, but my last three hours involved watching a mandatory training that I just had to listen to and not actively participate in. So I made bolognese sauce while I watched, since chopping up the veggies takes a bit of time and it all takes a long time to cook down (i.e. it probably cooked for close to six hours total). I didn't eat the sauce tonight since it took so long - instead, I walked down the street and picked up a Blue Pan pizza out of solidarity with my favorite nearby small business. No one on the street seemed concerned and it felt like any other evening, until [censored] texted me about the Europe travel ban, which happened in the ten minutes I was out of the house picked up the pizza.

So I ate some pizza, and then I panic grocery shopped (I mostly just needed more eggs, but I added a couple more staples for good measure). Then I came home, did some work, and finished the sauce. And now I really must sleep - goodnight!

down in the badlands she was saving the best for last

I made the mistake of working from home again today. It was only a mistake because this afternoon my company told us that we should all work from home for the next month, and I probably could have used a last little bit of socializing to build up my extrovert energy reserves. But I wasn't feeling all that great when I woke up (probably because I only got six hours of sleep), and adding one extra day on top of a month of working from home is really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

sssanyway. I slogged from nine to almost six, with breaks to eat some leftover spaghetti and to occasionally move laundry around. Then I dashed out to stock up on a couple more things (cold medicine and tequila, which feels like #priorities). Then I came home and did a whole bunch of stuff around the house -- if I'm going to be holed up here for a month, which is a v. stark contrast to my usual peripatetic lifestyle, I want things to be well organized and ready.

But now, I should probably attempt to get nine hours of sleep - wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

crazy people walking 'round with blood in their eyes

Today was a pretty normal day, if you ignore impending doom. I worked from home, by choice rather than by necessity, but it meant that even though I had meetings all day, I was able to sneak out around 5:15 and meet Katie fifteen minutes later. Again, if you ignore impending doom, this is pretty normal - a weeknight happy hour / dinner is perfect for our schedules. But I was able to get a last-minute reservation at one of the best restaurants in Denver (El Five), which usually books out days/weeks in advance....so you tell me how much that was because it's a Monday and how much was because at least some people are starting to prep for the apocalypse.

However, for a last dinner together, this one was pretty great. We had a lovely booth, an amazing view of downtown (El Five is on the fifth floor, obviously), and some delicious Spanish / mediterranean food (croquetas, patatas bravas, a shrimp and calamari dish that was excellent, and some even more excellent seafood paella, followed by a tiramisu and some cappuccino). And I think we quite enjoyed fearmongering to each other. I'm sure we'll see each other again someday, but we're both prepared to hole up and wait it out.

Then I came home, should have worked, and instead drank an emergen-c and watched two episodes of The Witcher. Night well spent, I'd say. And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

i know better than to ever call you mine

I had a v. hermity, v. (relatively) productive day around the house. It started off stupidly late because I stayed up until after midnight and then had to navigate the time change, but then I made coffee and did some quality journaling and other tasks. I also made a late breakfast (bacon and eggs), and then I got cracking on my outdoor responsibilities.

This mostly meant that I spent three hours cleaning up my back patio. I hadn't raked last fall because it started snowing in early October and pretty much kept snowing until Christmas, and then it was too cold and I was too lazy to deal with it. This may have been a good thing, since the leaves definitely kept the soil wetter than it might have been otherwise. So I got most of the leaves raked up and removed, and I used my leaf blower to clear dirt/dust off my patio, and then I used it to get some of the dust off my outdoor furniture. It's raining tonight (which is a weird sound after months of snow), so I'm hoping the rain gives everything I missed a good wash. It's supposed to continue being nice this week (after being seventy both yesterday and today), so I'm hoping I can enjoy some patio action in the coming days.

After all that outdoor activity, I showered off, threw some potatoes into the oven, and talked to my parents. We finished our usual Sunday convo just as the potatoes were ready to come out, so I moved straight into dinner mode. The potatoes were for twice baked potatoes, which turned out super well - I made four potatoes (eight halves, obvi) and put some in the fridge while freezing the rest for future lazy suppers. While I was prepping the potatoes, I also cooked myself a ribeye using the reverse sear method. My meat thermometer battery is dead, so my steak came out pretty rare, but I like it rare and it was delicious (especially with a potato). Yes, I'm fully in my midwestern roots while prepping for the apocalypse, don't judge.

Then I procrastinated / cleaned the kitchen, and then I did day job work for the last hour. And now I'm going to sleep - goodnight!

toss a coin to your witcher

I had an extremely #treatyoself day, which felt like a good way to relax a bit in the midst of all the chaos that is my job + the end of the world. I spent the morning journaling / making some plans, and I also did a bit of yardwork - my neighbor's catalpa tree is gorgeous in summer, but is a real pain in the ass right now since I have pods all of my yard. I want to do some more outdoors stuff tomorrow - today was really gorgeous (almost seventy), and tomorrow looks like more of the same.

But I had to stop eventually, shower, and drive to Boulder for a massage. No, you should not feel sorry for me. My job paid for an 80min massage at a v. fancy spa in Boulder (I won an award like a year and a half ago and finally decided to redeem it). So I drove up early, had some sushi for lunch, drank some pinot grigio, and then unwound in the steam room and the sauna for a bit before the massage. The massage was really excellent - my body was pretty tense, as per usual, but the massage helped. I could have happily relaxed there all day, but I eventually decided that maybe I should come home and be productive.

However, when I got here I wasn't particularly productive after all - I washed some dishes, emptied the dishwasher, put away some tings, and ate some leftover pasta, but none of that was very impressive. And, instead of working tonight like I probably should have, I watched the first two episodes of The Witcher, which has been on my list for ages. It's ridiculous and so far I'm into it, but we'll see.

And now I need to sleep so I can seize the day tomorrow - goodnight!

dance of the clairvoyants

I got a bunch of stuff done today, but not nearly everything I was supposed to. I did, however, journal this morning before making it to a 9am dental appointment in Boulder, so I'll take it. Then I slogged until mid-afternoon - the office was v. empty, and the quiet was nice, but it also felt vaguely ominous.

So it's no wonder I went overboard on doomsday prepping this afternoon. When I left the office I made a Costco run, followed by a Target run, followed by a Whole Foods run. I'm not exactly worried about coronavirus for myself, but I do think it's highly likely that I'll need to work from home a lot in the next few weeks.

My usual standard of living typically involves my office feeding me 10 times during the week, then going out or eating leftovers 2-4x / week, which leaves about five meals I'm actually responsible for, most of which turn into something on toast (eggs, avocado, tuna, peanut butter). Or I'm traveling and not making anything at all. So if I'm basically grounded from a travel standpoint and forced to work from home, I need a lot more food than I typically keep on hand.

Of course, I bought more than I probably needed to - but I have a basement now and canned things and dry goods don't expire very fast, so buying flats of black beans, tomatoes, boxes of pasta, etc won't go to waste. And I have been meaning to do some more meal prep in terms of making/freezing things for rainy days (or sick days), so I plan to spend Sunday chopping and cooking and freezing (and doing my taxes, and probably some day job work).

sssanyway. That's all boring, but then, this whole blog is. When I got home, I put away groceries and then made spaghetti all'amatriciana, which is one of my favorites (and super easy - bacon, garlic, red onion, crushed red pepper flakes, a can of tomato sauce, and some spaghetti). And then I meant to work, but I mostly read Twitter and fell asleep in my chair like an old person. Maybe my immune system will be more vulnerable to coronavirus than I thought.

And now I must sleep - goodnight!

i can end the planet in a holocaust

Last night's blog was rather short on details, but I should have also mentioned that I had a lovely dinner with Sarah-Frances (a woman on my team who is currently out on maternity leave). We went to a delish Mexican restaurant in Lafayette, and it was great to see her - but by the time I got home it was after ten, and when I crawled into bed and tried to type a blog post on my phone, I kept dropping my phone on my face. Tonight's blog post is written on my laptop from my living room with the lights shining brightly enough to keep me awake, so perhaps I'll make it through.

Today, however, was less interesting. I had to be at the office by eight, which was a self-inflicted wound since I'd scheduled the meeting. But it was a three-hour brainstorm that was actually pretty effective, so I was happy with that. Then I had a meeting with my new boss (boss 5 in the last 2.5 years if you're counting, but who is?) - so far so good and we seem to click, so hopefully this one sticks for awhile. Then I chatted with people in the cube (and accidentally mimicked the pose of the boss from Office Space), grabbed lunch out in the sun, and did a bunch more meetings.

I did end up taking a break on the way home to go to Crate and Barrel - I had to exchange something, which of course meant I also had to buy a couple of tings. There were many things I wanted to buy, but I exercised unusual restraint. Then I came home, defrosted and ate some chili, did a bit of laundry, did some personal stuff online, and then did about an hour of day job stuff. And now, I'm a bit wrecked and need to sleep - I have to go to Boulder for a dentist appointment at 9, but then I only have a couple of meetings, so I'm going to slog for awhile and then try to sneak out early and make a Costco run. Goodnight!

it's bound to be a sight to see

No blog - I'm already typing gibberish (which I just deleted a whole line of twice). I had an appointment, then slogged, then tried to relax, then got a manicure, which was probably the best thing I could have done.

But now I really sleep ,- goodnight, friends!

i can deal with the bad nights

I had a not-too-stressful day at work today, and yet I still somehow ended up leaving with my jaw hurting like I'd been clenching it for days. This, of course, put a damper on my evening. Or maybe I put the damper on my own evening because I got home a little after seven (after dinner at Motomaki in Boulder), did a tiny bit of writing on my novel, and then worked for the last four hours. I'm so behind from doing a lot of offsite meetings last week, and doing work tonight was necessary for making me feel just the slightest bit caught up.

Still, working until midnight was not what I had intended to do tonight, and I have an appointment at 8:30, so I should really get some sleep. Goodnight!

and you're making me feel like maybe i am somebody

I'm finally back in Denver, and I need to water my plants and then go to bed. Today was a long day - I woke up around 5:15 and couldn't go back to sleep because I was thinking about slides, so I finished them while sitting in bed. Then I showered, packed, checked out, stowed my bags, and grabbed a Philz on the way to the office - I drank that coffee while sitting in the barista area at work, which made me look next-level ridiculous because I was drinking coffee that I'd paid for in front of all the people who were getting free coffee instead. But #noregrets because I love Philz and I was happy to have one last cup before leaving SF.

The VP presentation that I had to do today went really well, all in all - or at least I think it did. But I have quite a bit of confidence when it comes to most presentations, so of course I think I crushed it. We'll see when and whether I get any substantive feedback after the fact, but at least it's over and I feel like I did as much as I could to make it successful.

Still, despite my confidence, I felt like throwing up before and had to come down off the adrenaline after (I've been this way since high school Brain Bowl competitions, where I would routinely throw up beforehand and then dominate). So I didn't have lunch at work when it was over - instead, I walked back to my hotel, grabbed my bags and my car, went to the airport, and had a late lunch (burrito bowl) and a glass of wine to unwind while sending a few emails.

The flight was entirely uneventful, and I got home with no issues. Coronavirus is clearly wreaking havoc on travel - my hotel room last night was absurdly cheap, the security line at SFO was the shortest I've ever seen it, my flight had empty seats (and I got upgraded), and when I picked up my car at Denver, the guy there said they've been super slow and that he's scared (as evidenced by him putting hand sanitizer all over a pen before getting me to sign my credit card slip). It's also interesting to see that just about everyone is taking hand washing v. seriously, and I will be curious to see how quickly my hands crack and bleed if I wash them as much here as I was washing them in SF.

sssanyway. It's really time for bed - I need to get to the office early to get some tings done, so wish me luck with that. Goodnight!

you don't want to hurt me but see how deep the bullet lies

Today was a normal day that ended in bizarro-land, which is how so many days used to end when I lived in San Francisco. I awoke this morning and lazed about until it was time to get ready, and then I had just enough time to pull myself together and check out of the Kabuki before meeting up with John and Jess (and their little monster, aka Ian) in Sausalito. They had sailed there from Berkeley last night, and so we met at a weird but delicious diner that was walking distance from their berth in Sausalito. It turned out to be a lovely morning, and I really enjoyed hanging out with them, and Ian really enjoyed butting his head into my shin, so I guess we all won.

Then I drove back across the Golden Gate and went to Fort Mason (one of my old haunts), where I grabbed a green tea at The Interval at the Long Now (weird name, just go with it) and journaled for awhile. This felt so much like my old life, and so much like home, that I'm still emotionally processing how much SF feels like home and how much Denver feels like...not home. But I choose not to examine how the human feces and earthquake potential feel like home, and how the free parking and hot bearded men feel like not-home....better to just think they're equal, and ignore the repercussions of my choices.

ssssanyway.

After Fort Mason, I checked into my hotel, then had a late lunch and an even later coffee with Vidya (aka Chandlord). Then I made slides for several hours. Then I went to the bar and kept working on slides, but I also met a woman named Candy who used to date the mafia of North Denver (as did her mother), and who married someone else for twenty years but clearly still felt like the cute mafia boy was the love of her life, and who bought me a glass of wine and called me 'baby girl' when I left the bar. So I guess we clicked, and I guess I still have my ability to go deep with strangers, which I haven't done nearly enough of lately.

sssanyway again, I now need to go to bed - I have a big presentation to my VP tomorrow, and I need to be all in on my charisma in case she hates the content. Wish me luck - goodnight!

in all the good times I find myself longing for change

I've been lying in bed dozing and have been for half an hour, so it's really time to sleep. Today was fun, though - I hung out with Veronica in the morning, then met Katrina for brunch at nopalito. Then I drove to Corte Madera and had a long leisurely coffee with Grace at Philz. And then I checked into my hotel, took a break from people, and then went to Adit and Priyanka's for dinner.

And now I would tell you how all of that felt or what I experienced, but I'm seriously falling asleep, so you'll have to do without the commentary. Goodnight!